Recently I have had the privilege of hearing the stories of a number of couples who are vibrant followers of Christ with strong marriages and a deep commitment to ministry. They all have something in common: their wholeness came through deep brokenness along the way.
It is the way of growth for those who follow Jesus. Mary Ann and I know this as well which is why we wrote the book When Life Comes Undone: Walking in Faith when Life is Hard and Hope is Scarce.
Why the dichotomy of wholeness through brokenness? It is quite simple: It is in our brokenness that we finally allow God to do the renovation work in our lives that brings the healing and joy of wholeness. God's construction of healthy comes on the heals of the deconstruction of our lives that pain brings.
One of the common themes among these couples is that they are deeply thankful for the brokenness they experienced. It was in their pain that they faced the bitter realities of their own sin and need and in the process found the amazing grace of Jesus' forgiveness and healing. They would not be where they are today without the dark night of the soul they experienced along the way.
Freedom and wholeness come to those who press into Jesus in their brokenness. That is why I call pain and suffering - no matter its source - as an unlikely gift. It is a wonderful thing to come to the place where we have nothing to trust in but God. When He is all we have, we realize that He is all we need. In the wake of the deconstruction of our lives through pain we experience the life that Jesus brings (John 10:10).
The key to wholeness of life is that we press in to Jesus and allow Him to do the renovation our lives need. And that usually comes in its greatest form in our deepest time of personal need.