If you must be in the hospital you need a sense of humor. And if you are going to get sick, the Deaconnes hospital in Bozeman, Montana is awesome. Great care and great people - the two go together. However there are some things that I wondered about.
Hospital food. OK enough said, except for most of my stay, when they did feed me it was a clear liquid diet. Like, jello, water, some sort of broth and apple juice. Now being a simple guy I figured that Diet Coke had to qualify too. After all you can see through it just like jello, but sadly, no, it is not part of a liquid diet. I settled for water.
"The Management." There were a number of signs in my room that were signed by "The Management." Who is the management? If I asked to speak to the "management" who would show up? And further, why do I need to know that these instructions come from the "management?" Another thing, what if you ignore the instructions? What does the "management?" do? Kick you out? Give you a lecture? decrease your grade? It can be scary to be in the hospital and thinking you might just tick off the "management." Being who I am I kind of ignored the "management" and nothing happened.
Before I could leave, my nurse had to walk me through my post-hospital instructions. There was an ambiguous reference to dealing with anxiety so being inquisitive I asked her what that was about. She said that when I was in the ICU I became anxious. Hmmm, was that when I could not breathe and they were going to intubate me again? There is something about not being able to breathe that makes me anxious at times. But better people probably don't have that issue. So I'll work on it.
Last thing. Did you ever notice it is hard to leave a hospital? It is kind of like being in jail. Quite easy to get in and a lot harder to leave. There is always one more form to sign or permission to get. It is a daylong process every time I have had to work it through. Maybe the "management" is checking to ensure that I have not stolen any of the dandy furnishings in my room! Or maybe I am such a model patient that they didn't want to see me leave. I am pretty sure it is the latter.
So glad to be out and thanks to all the caregivers at Deaconnes hospital. And for all those who were praying a huge thank you. There were some amazing God moments. For now, I am hiding out in the Montana mountains off the grid (true statement) hoping that the managment does not find me. Oh, and I miss the hospital gown with the constant breeze in the back.