Leading From the Sandbox

Enough planning - just do it and keep it simple and focused

2012-01-30T01:00:00.000-08:00

Recently I saw a presentation for a ministry plan that was masterfully complex. It addressed every possible issue and would have taken a whole new staff to execute. In concept it looked sophisticated and it had to have taken months to plan and write. Bottom line: it was too complex, too complicated and didn't have a clear focus. The simple had been majorly complicated.

Ministries are famous for complicated plans that complicate the simple. And in the process divert focus from actually getting ministry accomplished.

Does one need a plan? Yes! A simple, clear, understandable and workable plan. Simple trumps complex every time.

If planning takes more than 20% of your time you are doing too much planning. You can always modify and tweak as you go so go do it. In fact, until you start doing you don't know what needs to be modified. No amount of planning will uncover the contingencies you will discover when you actually go out and do it.

So get out and do it, learn along the way, go back and adjust and do it again: Plan, do, act, adjust.

Are you majoring on planning or doing? Have a plan and go do it.

Keep it simple - like this blog.

When truth becomes toxic

2012-01-29T01:00:00.001-08:00

We value truth in evangelicalism because our faith and practices are grounded in God's truth. Francis Schaeffer called God's truth "true truth" and without a doubt there is much that passes for "truth" today that is anything but.

Truth, however, is a bit like dynamite. Handled carefully it is healing and helpful, as Paul said "useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17)." But, if mishandled, it becomes legalistic, a hammer that wounds, and hurts rather than heals. Especially when truth is applied without grace.

Jesus was all about truth. Jesus was also all about grace. The Apostle John says He was the perfect blend of grace and truth. Can you imagine what we deserve if God did not extend grace to us? Yet how often do we use truth without grace when dealing with others?

The account of the woman caught in adultery and brought to Jesus is a great lesson. The fact that she was guilty is clear by Jesus' words, "go and sin no more." Truth without grace would have said, "stone her." Grace said, "He who is without sin throw the first stone" and "go and sin no more." Of course, the guys who brought her to Jesus were not about grace, or actually truth for that matter as they conveniently forgot to bring the fellow she was caught with.

There are in the church men and women, like these fellows, who are self appointed theology and behavior police. Legalistic, moralistic and self assured of their right to point out the wrongs of others, using "truth" or scripture to push their agendas or make themselves feel good - at the expense of grace. Truth without grace is indeed a scary thing. The combination as seen in Jesus' interactions is a life changing paradigm. It is like the parable of the master who forgives his servant's debt only to have that servant go and demand payment from the one who owed him. Grace had been received but was not extended.

This is how the pharisees of the New Testament used truth. It was hard, harsh, devoid of grace and Jesus called them hypocrites because those who are most judgemental are most hypocritical as none of us can live up to standards of perfection. We are all in need of grace.

Much conflict in the church and relationships comes down to a willingness to use truth at the expense of grace. It lacks the very patience, understanding, mercy and gentleness that God uses when He deals with us. The words may be truth but the attitude behind them has nothing to do with the attitude of Jesus. We are lucky that He does not do to us what we often do to others. I know churches with grace in their name whom are devoid of grace inside their own walls. This is when truth becomes toxic, damaging and harsh rather than healthy, healing and gentle.

We are all guilty at times of allowing truth to become unhealthy because our attitudes toward others do not reflect the wonderful, gentle, caring, patient, merciful and abundant grace of Jesus. Handle grace and truth carefully and it is a beautiful thing. Mishandle it, and like dynamite it causes a lot of damage. As Jeremiah so aptly said in Lamantations, "Because of His great love for us we are not consumed (even though they deserved it)." Why then do we consume one another? Why do we so often choose not to extend to one another the very grace that God extended to us in Jesus? The short answer is sin. But when we extend that grace it is a beautiful thing indeed. Who in your life needs your grace?

Healthy character traits

2012-01-28T01:00:00.000-08:00

Character is the foundation that gives us influence in ministry. Think about these markers as you evaluate yourself as a ministry leader or a person who values character.

Truthful
Character is always based on truth and never on lies. Jesus called the evil one the father of lies while he said that His word was truth. Whenever we skirt the boundaries of truth we compromise our character. As Mark Twain said, "If you always tell the truth you never have to remember what you said."

Forthright
Being honest, upfront and forthright is a mark of Character. There is no question in the minds of others what you are thinking and there is never a need to say different things to different people for the forthright individual. What you see and here is what you get. Part of character is being self defined and willing to state your views.

Non defensive
People of character are not afraid of being challenged or people who disagree with them. They have developed a non-defensive spirit because they know that life is not about them but about honoring Jesus and being all that we can be, personally and organizationally.

Controlled
People of character are able to control their emotions so that they don't hurt others. They are slow to anger, quick to forgive, love reconciliation and are careful of what they say - so that they build others up rather than tear them down. They have learned to control their emotions and reactions in ways that are healthy.

Without hidden agendas
People of character never hide their true agendas. It is not that we don't have an agenda but whatever it is it is stated and in the open. Hidden agendas lack a truth component which is so important to character. Truthfulness and forthrightness preclude hidden agendas. This is a person who is without guile.

Trustworthy
People of character keep their word and can be counted on to fulfill the promises they make. In other words, they can be trusted to do what they say they will do. Our word is our bond and our promises are sacred.

Fair
People of character are fair in how they treat people and do not play favorites with those they lead. Even when decisions are not what they hoped for, they know they have been treated fairly.

Consistent
People of character display the same character in the dark when no one is looking as they do in their public life. They are integrated people whose private life matches their public persona.

Humble
At the heart of character is humility. It is what makes possible all the other traits of good character. Humility is necessary for teachability, for growth, for character development and for healthy relationships with others. Pride makes for poor character. Humility makes for great character.

Learning to hear God's voice. Are you listening?

2012-01-27T01:00:00.000-08:00

How does God speak to us through the Holy Spirit? There are probably many ways as we are each uniquely wired but often it is through "impressions" or "promptings" that come to us. Impressions or promptings are like watermarks on good paper. It is there if you look for it but not always obvious. It takes attention to see it.

Impressions are like that. They don't scream at us, they are just there. Often we don't pay too much attention but we should! It just might be the God of the universe talking back to us which is a big WOW! Some might call it intuition and certainly intuition fits the description. I will often mull and pray over an issue for a period of time and then one day it is like a light bulb goes on or an impression settles on me and I know I have an answer. Often, the Holy Spirit has provided me with counsel - divine counsel.

The descriptors that Jesus used to describe the person and the role of the Holy Spirit in John are helpful in this regard: "Advocate," "Spirit of truth," the one who will "teach us all things," the One who will "guide you into all the truth," who "will tell you what is yet to come," One who will "help you and be with you forever," (John 14-17).

Clearly the Holy Spirit communicates with those who are Christ followers. Why else would God have him take up actual residence in our bodies? Christ in us - through the Holy Spirit. He is after all our Counselor. The issue is not whether He communicates but whether we have trained ourselves to hear.

When my wife, Mary Ann wants my attention her physical presence and voice let me know. (Even then, being of the male species, I might not actually hear. At least that is what she claims and which I take exception to). So, how much more attention on our part does it take to "hear" the Holy Spirit who rarely speaks with an audible voice but is a quiet presence in our hearts who wants to get our attention from time to time? When He gently messes with the neurons in my brain to impress something on me, do I hear?

Here is where our attention comes in. I have learned not to dismiss those impressions but to pay close attention to them. I have a suspicion that when I get to heaven and ask God why He didn't answer such and such a prayer He will show me all the ways He spoke back but my hearing was not very good. I want to sharpen my hearing to His promptings because if they are coming from the voice of God it is truly important for me to hear!

I realize we hear from God imperfectly just as my wife would report (incorrectly I might add) about her communications to me. Sometimes I do a better job than other times. But learning to be aware of the impressions or promptings of the Holy Spirit is a skill that can be cultivated and developed.

Think about instances where you have had impressions or promptings that you know are from the Holy Spirit. Then do two things. Ask the Father to make you more sensitive to His "voice" in your life and then pay attention. He might just surprise you.

Remember, "I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever - the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you (John 14:14-17). He is there. Are you listening?

Robust dialog: Creative conflict that raises the level of missional discourse

2012-01-26T04:33:00.000-08:00

Over and over again I run into teams, organizations and groups that do not know how to have candid, honest, robust discussion. As a result there are many elephants in the room that cannot be discussed and which create an underlying mistrust within the group - that is what elephants do.

Lets define robust dialogue. It is the ability to address any issue in the team or organization as long as there are not hidden agendas or personal attacks. No personal attacks keeps the discussion at the strategic or organizational level. No hidden agendas means that we are upfront with why we are asking the question or pushing into an issue. Hidden agendas create mistrust while being honest and direct creates trust.

Unfortunately there are plenty of people who agree with robust dialogue but who are operating with hidden agendas - behind the scenes maneuvering and politics hidden behind a facade of wanting to solve a problem or address an issue. In reality they have an agenda as to where the discussion ends up and they are maneuvering the end result toward their intended ends. This is neither fair nor helpful.

The very concept of robust dialogue where any issue can be put on the table as long as there are no hidden agendas or personal attacks is that it is in the strong discourse of different ideas and options that we actually get to solutions that are better than any of us would have come up with individually. But - there must be an ethos on the team, modeled by the leader that it is not only OK but it is valued to put issues on the table (graciously) that need to be addressed.

What prevents robust dialogue? First, leaders who are threatened by anything negative being said - and they perceive any potential criticism as negative. Frankly, that is poor leadership and I would never again work for a leader who was threatened by robust dialogue.

Second, elephants that everyone knows cannot be addressed because the group cannot handle talking about the issue. I was recently with a board that told me there were many elephants in the room that they have not been able to talk about for years and it was those elephants that were keeping them from moving forward. I asked what they were and we proceeded to name them. Once named, elephants are no longer elephants but issues that need to be resolved. Wherever elephants exist, there is not true robust dialogue.

Third, fear keeps some groups from engaging in honest dialogue. The fear is around what it might do to the dynamics of the group. Feeling good about one another and about the ministry takes precedence over honest evaluation of where things really are. Feeling comfortable trumps missional fulfillment. This is where many groups need to grow (up) and put mission before comfort and press into missional health and fulfillment.

Why is robust dialogue so important? Because it is in the conflict of ideas that we come to new solutions and ways of thinking. Those new solutions would never have emerged without the intellectual capital and clash of ideas. That is why ministries that invite and encourage robust dialogue are those who are on the cutting edge of change and effectiveness.

Subjective and objective organizational clarity

2012-01-25T01:00:00.000-08:00

One of the most frustrating paradigms for staff to work under is subjective clarity. This is organizational clarity that exists in the mind of a leader rather than clearly defined on paper clear with staff. With subjective clarity, in order to know what is acceptable or not, what directions to pursue or strategies that are "OK" one needs to talk to the leader. The organizational clarity is essentially what is acceptable to them but since it is not spelled out one either must ask permission or forgiveness after the fact (if they get it wrong).

Subjective clarity by definition means that one has a permission withholding culture in the organization. One cannot move forward without the permission of the leader since we cannot read his/her mind. If you get it wrong there is often the duplication of effort as you must go back to redo what was previously done, but this time in the way the leader desires. Subjective clarity is a moving target that disempowers staff, makes the leader a bottle neck in decisions, allows him/her to micromanage and frankly is the sign of either a poor or immature leader.

Objective clarity is clarity that is clearly defined for all staff, understood by staff and is the "measure" they go back to when thinking about what they do and how they do what they do. It is clarity around things like mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and culture with commonly held definitions of what they mean and how they are articulated.

This takes the organizational clarity out of the subjective realm of the leader's mind and puts it in an objective form that all can go back to for direction, guidance and decision making. With objective clarity, one moves to a permission granting organization where staff can move forward without constantly consulting their leader because they know what the ground rules are. In addition, the how of what they do is largely left up to them as long as they achieve the mission of the organization.

There are many organizations who do not yet operate with objective clarity. This is especially true in the church where the senior pastor has whatever subjective clarity he has in his head and staff must go through him on all major initiatives. It works, to a point, but it is permission withholding and it disempowers staff. Getting to a commonly held clarity is a far better route to take and attracts much better long term staff. They know what the mission is and what the non negotiables are.

If you are in the subjective side, make the transition to the objective side. Subjective clarity is actually not clarity. It is simply the thinking of one person at the time they are asked. It is arbitrary and inconsistent.

If you need more information on getting to clarity, Leading From the Sandbox, chapters two, three and four are focused on that topic.

I would be happy if.....

2012-01-24T01:00:00.000-08:00

Have you ever fallen into the trap of thinking that "I would be happy if.....?" Maybe it is a new car, a new spouse, a new house, that nifty flatscreen TV or whatever. "I would be happy if..." robs us of happiness today and defines happiness by our circumstances, our possessions or some external factor in our lives when happiness can only come from the inside! As soon as our happiness is defined by external things we are robbed of the ability to live in happiness every day.

Relying on the external for the core joy and happiness of our lives is the reason so many people chase after stuff, experiences and even sin at the expense of a relationship with Jesus which is the true source of joy and happiness. "I would be happy if...." is an empty promise! As soon as one attains that thing that will supposedly make us happy, the goal line changes and we find another "I would be happy if...." When our joy and happiness comes from within (and from God) we have the real deal and no one can rob us of it.

Joyful living is a gift of the Holy Spirit (one of the fruits of the Spirit) and it is a choice that each of us make every day. As a gift of the Spirit it is available to us at any time, regardless of our circumstances. That does not mean we don't wish some things were different in our lives or hope they will be different someday. It does mean that we choose a posture of joy in whatever circumstances we find ourselves because we are intentionally walking with God and conscious of His provision, care, and love.

A key to joyful living is the fostering of an ongoing spirit of thanksgiving to God for all of His blessings. Numerous times in the New Testament or Psalms we are told to be people of thanks and to live with an attitude of thanks. "Thank you Jesus" ought to be the mantra of our days. The more thankful we are the more joy we possess because thankfulness leads to a joyful heart.

It is an irony that many of the most joyful and happy people I have met are those who have suffered the most. Their circumstances did not determine their joy, their relationship with God did. Any of you who have been in the presence of Joni Eareckson Tada know exactly what I mean. Joy radiates from her paraplegic body and her singing, smile and words of encouragement infect all around her. But she would be the first to tell you it is a daily choice and not always an easy one.

In the next 24 hours, simply live in a spirit of thanksgiving and see what it does for your happiness factor.

Generosity by ministry personnel and missionaries

2012-01-22T17:46:00.000-08:00

Ministry personnel - pastors, missionaries and others who work in ministries are often asking others to give generously to their ministries. In fact, they and their ministries are dependent on the gifts and generosity of others.

I have a belief that those who see their needs met are usually those who live a life of generosity themselves. That is because God responds to our generosity with His generosity. Paul indicates this in 2 Corinthians 9:6-9 "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: 'They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor: their righteousness endures forever.'"

I often want to ask missionaries who are raising support: How generous are you? I have met many Christian workers who say, "My time and energy are my generosity" as if financial generosity does not apply to them as well. I don't know why we in ministry should expect God to bless us with the financial needs we have if we ourselves are not living generous lives, financially and otherwise!

In fact, I believe that those in Christian work ought to be the very models of what it means to be generous - regardless of what they make. We of all people understand the theology of generosity that comes from a generous God who has made us heir to all of his riches and glory through redemption and salvation.

Pastors and missionaries may rationalize their lack of generosity with the fact that they make less than others. In fact, many people who are generous don't make a great deal of money. Rather, they have cultivated a lifestyle of generosity. I have often met with people over the years to thank them for their giving to ministry only to find out that they are people of very modest means who have chosen to give generously to God's work. Each time, I am deeply humbled by their commitment and joy of giving.

A life of generosity on all fronts reflects the gift of Jesus to us - He who gave up everything so that we could know Him. No matter how much or little we have, why would we not want to reflect in our lives the generosity that God showed to us and continues to shower on us?

Want to have all that you need for life and ministry? Sow abundantly. Live generously. God will and does respond.

Transitions that can help your ministry go to the next level

2012-01-22T07:44:00.000-08:00

Periodically ministries need to honestly evaluate the present and envision for the future. This is true for teams, ministry divisions, programs or entire organizations. There is a fairly simple way to get at the transitions that one needs to make. It can be done on a white board in four steps.

This exercise, however, is not for the faint of heart or people who easily become defensive. In fact, the major reason more ministries do not look in the mirror to see what is really there in order to move beyond the present to the future is that they find it hard to be honest about their reality. It is too threatening and intimidating. It is far easier to live with the illusion that all is well than to look at the true facts and face reality. It is ministries that refuse to live with illusion and value looking at reality that continue to move toward more fruitful results.

Step one: Celebrate the past. Make a list of the the good things that you can celebrate about where your ministry is. You will be encouraged by the "wins" you have experienced. Here is an important principle. We celebrate the past but we envision the future.

Step two is harder: Look under the hood. This will require you to set aside your ego and act like a consultant to your own organization. The goal here is to look beyond all the good things and make a list of the deficits which you know are there. Where is the organization not working well? Where are there silos? How well are you meeting your mission really? What staff are not performing? Where do you have lack of alignment? I tell staff in this step to act like a consultant to their own organization and tell the truth to the organization where there are major deficits. What would an outsider say to you? Be brutal, honest, candid and realistic about what is. Too many leaders are experts at step one but never go to step two because it is too intimidating. One cannot go forward without being honest about where you are.

Step three: What do you wish your organization looked like? Here you want to define your preferred future: you describe the organization, structure, results and organizational culture you believe would be optimal for you to meet your mission, see significant results and organize for maximum synergy. There should be a counter description for every negative you listed when you looked under the hood. What opportunities is the ministry missing today because of how they are organized? If you could build your ministry from scratch today, how would it look to maximize your ministry impact. This is the picture of what you believe you should become.

Step four: What transitions do you need to make to get to where you are to where you desire to be? In other words, if you were to move from the present to the preferred future while overcoming the issues you discovered by looking under the hood what key transitions would you need to make? Here you are defining the true cost of moving from what is to what you believe needs to be. It is truly your road map to the next level of ministry success and impact.

The transitions you need to make call the question on the courage of the leadership of the organization. Are we willing to pay the price that needs to be paid to get to where we need and want to go? Often the answer, candidly, is no. We may not want to rock the boat or pay the cost of necessary change - which is why many churches and ministries stall out. Courageous leaders, however, will take up the challenge and determine a strategy to make the transitions because their highest value is not comfort but effectiveness.

A simple paradigm with powerful results - for courageous leaders only.

The amazing power of hope

2012-01-21T01:00:00.001-08:00

In the uncertainties, disappointments, challenges and realities of life there are few more powerful practices than living with hope! As Isaiah writes so eloquently, "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint (Isaiah 40:31)."

We choose whether we will live in hope or despair, hope or discouragement. God gives us hope, we choose whether we will grab onto it or ignore it. That is Isaiah's point. When in the midst of our discouragements we choose to hope in the Lord, He renews our strength in amazing ways.

In the midst of great disaster, Jeremiah said, "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope. Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed (Lamentations 3:21)." And again, "The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him. It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord (Lamentations 3:25-26)."

What is hope? It is not some ill conceived concept of self help that believes that because we hope for something it will come to pass. That is not hope but an empty promise. Hope is grounded in a good God who always has our best interests in mind, always acts in goodness toward us and always provides the encouragement we need in the middle of even the greatest crises. Hope is grounded in who He is.

Hope is also grounded in the gifts that we have been given in Jesus. Paul writes to the Ephesians, "I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. (Ephesians 1:18-19)." Our hope is found in Jesus who has made us family and given us the riches of who He is for all eternity.

But what about those times when we seem to be out of hope? When life is hard and hope is scarce? Hope and faith are tied together in Hebrews 11:1. "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." What we hope for are everything God has promised and we have faith that He will deliver on His promises - even when it looks like that is not the case!

Hope is not pretending that life is good when life is hard. Rather, it is knowing that God is present even when life is hard and that is why we have hope. He is our hope - not our circumstances.

Every day ought to be a day of hope. Hope in the blessings of God, hope in the presence of God, hope in the intervention of God in our lives and hope in the circumstances of life, knowing that God is with us and for us. For the believer, no matter what the circumstance there is hope. Our ultimate hope our assurance of living in His presence one day. Where God is present there is always hope! We may be blind to it, but it is always there!

PS. If you are in need of hope today, the book Mary Ann and I wrote When Life Comes Undone: Walking in Faith When Life is Hard and Hope is Scarce is for you. You will find it on the left side of the blog.

Missionary support team building: Very tough work!

2012-01-20T01:00:00.001-08:00

The blog by a ReachGlobal missionary family raising their support for France could be the story of thousands of missionaries today who are heading for global service but must first raise their support. Unlike ministry positions in local churches, there is a triple whammy for those serving overseas. They must leave home and family, they work in some incredibly hard places relative to the Gospel and they must raise their own support. Oh, and there is the little thing of learning another language. Add to this the challenge of the economy, and the pressure that church budgets are under and you get the picture.

It is a process that tests resolve, persistence, character, and call.

There are some up sides to this hard process. First, mission agencies are raising the bar for who they accept knowing that congregations and individuals are going to want the staff they support to be high quality individuals. The cost today is too high for anyone else.

Second, mission work is tough, tough work. There are many days when one asks oneself, "Why did I sign up for this?" Support team building, after the exhilaration of being accepted tests the resolve and call because it too is very tough. It forces staff to ask the hard questions about whether they are ready to go the distance and whether they heard God right when they signed up. Like the work they will face on the "field," support team building is one person at a time, relatively slow progress and can be very discouraging. The support team building process actually prepares staff for the realities they will face on the field when they arrive there.

Third, one is building a team, not raising money. There is a big difference. It is the team - those who are relationally connected and financially invested who will pray, pay attention, and encourage those they support. Relationships are not built in a day which is why it is a long tough process. But that team will also be intensely loyal over the years and stand by those they support. Not once, for instance, have we ever personally dropped support from someone we had started to support.

As the leader of a mission agency I wish support team building was easier. Or do I? The very faith that is needed to believe God can work in hard places is the very faith that is needed to raise one's support. The resolve and persistence needed on the field is the resolve and persistence needed to raise support. Most important, being sure of God's call in the tough times in missions is the same assurance one must have to go the distance in building one's support team. On balance, that tough work prepares one for many of the real life realities one will face on the mission field.

If you are invited to join a missionary in their work by supporting them, ask the right questions and ask God if this is something you should invest in. But understand the need for these servants of God to raise their support. We have so many options for people to hear the Gospel in the US compared to the rest of the world. America spends more on pet food each year than it does on mission support - a sad statistic. Forty dollars twice a month (a small investment) is one thousand dollars a year (a significant investment). We love to find ways to support more missionaries. What I do wish for is a new spirit of generosity among believers generally - a spirit that reflects His unbelievably amazing heart.

Jesus has an amazing heart for the lost and we make His heart glad when we share in that heart. One of the most basic ways we can demonstrate that heart is in supporting those who are the global ambassadors for the Gospel. Our personal goal at our home is to support as many as we can because we want to share His heart. It is an investment we make on behalf of the heart of Jesus and His call on our lives to be involved in the great commission.

I long for a more generous church and more generous believers whose financial priorities reflect the Gospel priorities. If that were ever to happen, it would expand the cause of the Gospel in amazing ways. Whether others choose to live that way, we choose to live that way and we love it.

Confession

2012-01-19T01:00:00.001-08:00

I recently witnessed an unusual event: church leaders confessing their shortcomings to their congregation. The specifics are not important but the confession was profound because it happens so rarely. It modeled to the congregation an important truth: Sometimes we are wrong and simply admitting it and asking forgiveness is the right thing to do.

Here is an interesting observation. We are afraid to confess because we believe it will make us look weak. In fact, we gain respect when we confess our errors and ask forgiveness. Our confession is a statement of truth and truth is valued by others. Not only that but confession, when we have hurt another, or a group, immediately lowers the tensions among parties, allows grace to start to flow and is the doorway to a renewed relationship.

"I was wrong" are three of the hardest and most liberating words. That is the irony: hard and liberating at the same time!

As long as we resist confession when it is needed we keep relationships in gridlock and conflict. The moment we break our pride and admit our wrong, we start to move toward healing and freedom. It is the doorway to healing. But the door must be opened and it is only opened at the expense of our pride - a strong lock on the door!

If a relational door is locked because of an offence, take the necessary step to confess. God blesses the humble but opposes the proud. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I am proud of the elders who asked forgiveness of the congregation they serve. They took the route of humility. It was an example to everyone in that congregation. Some of us need to do the same with people in our lives.

Male leaders and their image bearing counterparts

2012-01-18T01:00:00.000-08:00

This is not a blog about complementarians or egalitarians. I know the theological positions and arguments all too well. Both can be defended Scripturally and both have strong adherents and I like most have a theological position based on my understanding of the text. In fact, one can be either and still respect or not respect, empower or control and treat women with dignity or not in the church and Christian workplace. The theological position we hold on this issue is not the key factor: the attitude and regard of male leaders toward their female counterparts is.

I am convinced that male leaders in the church generally do not adequately listen to, regard with honor or empower women to use their gifts and leadership abilities to their fullest. It took me a long time to fully embrace my own wife's gifting and release her to use it in whatever ways God wants her to. I am sure that I have inadvertently done the same with others of the opposite gender. Where I have, I publically repent for holding back divinely gifted individuals.

Often today I think about the theology of being made in God's image - "Then God said, 'Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness'...So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:26-27)." Men and women are equally made in the image of God, are equally image bearers and as image bearers are to be released to use their God given gifting in all of its strength for His glory and purposes (Ephesians 2:10).

When I see Jesus I don't want Him to ask me why I held anyone back or prevented any of His image bearers from using the divine gifting He gave them. That means that I need to be sensitive to all of His image bearers, and never treat any of them as B team players on His team. On His team there are no B team players, only A team players. That means respect, empowerment, honor and appreciation for all of his image bearers - without exception. Jesus shocked the social conventions of His day but actually treating everyone as made in His image without exception!

The key theology here is not the egalitarian/complementarian debate. Egalitarians can treat others poorly and complementarians can treat others with honor. The key theology is that men and women are both made in God's image and to demean, mistreat or not fully embrace them or their gifting is to diminish His image in another. All of us have done that with others and all of us need to repent when we do because it is His image we are diminishing.

Signs you work in a healthy workplace

2012-01-17T01:00:00.002-08:00

Having the joy of working in a healthy workplace is a great blessing when it happens. I have previously discussed toxic work environments but here are signs that you work in a truly healthy setting.

You are appreciated and valued. You know because you are told regularly that your work matters and that it is contributing to a greater mission of the organization. No matter where you are in the organizational chain you are important and you know it.

You are on a healthy and aligned team. You work with a team that has good leadership and team members are released in line with their gifting to accomplish their work. Team members are on the same page and work together in a synergistic manner.

Your voice matters and is heard and you are able to use all of your gifting. People at all levels in the organization are listened to and their voice is valued. You are able to use your gifting and to run in a lane you are skilled at.

You have clear responsibilities and are empowered to carry them out. You know what you are responsible for and rather than being micromanaged are empowered to figure out how to get it done.

You are treated with dignity and respect. Respect and dignity are expected in all relationships. It is a safe environment for all.

You know how your work contributes to the overall mission of the organization. You are not a cog in a machine but understand how what you do contributes to the overall mission and success of the organization.

Relationships are good and politics are rare. Politics, silos and turf wars are rare and confronted when present. The goal is always cooperation and getting the mission accomplished rather than guarding organizational turf.

Cooperation is high. People work synergistically together, brainstorm together, and do whatever it takes to get the job done.

You have a personable and caring leader. Your leader cares about you as a person not simply what you contribute to his/her team. They talk to you, listen to you and inquire about your life outside of work.

The most neglected topic in the church

2012-01-16T05:34:00.000-08:00

No, it is not sex, money or death. It is the workplace where most of us spend the bulk of our time and potentially have our greatest influence. When was the last time you heard a message on work and its relationship to faith, or even an illustration connecting a text to the workplace in a serious way?

What is sad about this is that the calling to the various places where we work is just that - a calling. Our work is sacred and it is where God has placed us for a purpose - to infuse that place with His presence through us. Just as sacred as the job of missionaries I lead or pastors I work with. We are all sent people and the workplace is for many of us our primary mission field. In neglecting the primary calling of perhaps the majority of our people we are doing them a huge disservice and a disservice to the One who called them.

I don't believe the workplace is neglected on purpose but out of ignorance. Many pastors have never truly experienced the pressures, stresses and issues that those they preach to each week experience on their jobs. And those pressures have only increased in the past twenty years.

There are ways to press into this for pastors. First, consider a periodic round table discussion with those from various walks of life and simply talk about the issues they face on the job. Take those issues and apply them to your preaching. Second, consider shadowing someone from your church periodically to live for a day in their world. Third, think deeply about the calling that everyone in the workplace has to their vocation. We lift up those who choose full time service. We need to lift up those who live out their faith in the typical workplace.

Work is sacred. Calling is universal. We need to recognize this and help people live out that sacred calling. But first we need to understand their context. Work matters to God.

Second half influence

2012-01-15T01:00:00.001-08:00

For those who care about influence for the gospel, life is divided into two parts. Our own influence through our life and work and in the second half of life, our intentional mentoring of the next generation of influencers who will carry the baton to the next generation. It is Paul and Timothy and 2 Timothy 2:2.

A wonderful example is John R W Stott whose world wide influence in my parents generation is tough to beat. Yet for many years prior to his death his primary focus was that of raising up the next generation of Christian leaders. He intentionally multiplied himself by giving himself away and focused less on his personal impact on society and more on the impact that the next generation would make. In doing so his legacy and influence live on in a powerful way.

This requires a Kingdom heart that is focused not on one's own accolades but on empowering others who will will multiply one's Kingdom influence. It is about the Kingdom, not us. It is about leaving a living legacy in the lives we have influenced who will carry on our work when we are gone. I suspect that there will be many behind the scenes who will receive greater rewards in heaven than many big names whose focus was on their own ministry and legacy rather than on leaving a living legacy through others.

This applies to wives who mentor the next generation of wives, husbands who mentor and raise up the next generation of Godly husbands, Christian leaders who invest themselves in the next generation of leaders ... anyone who is investing their lives in passing the baton to others who may actually have far more influence than we ever did.

For Christian leaders, I am convinced that their success is best measured not by what happened while they were in leadership but by what happens when they are gone! Was there stewardship of the ministry about them or the ministry? If the latter they invested significant time and effort into the lives of the next generation of leaders. If the former, they often did not.

If you are post fifty, who are you investing in? Who are you raising up to take your place behind you? That investment may well be your greatest influence and legacy as you multiply yourself in the lives of others. It is a quiet, behind the scenes work that will seldom be seen but its impact can be profound. It is in giving ourselves away that we have our greatest impact.

Living in peace with one another

2012-01-14T01:00:00.004-08:00

Peace is truly a lovely word. It indicates harmony and a lack of hostility, conflict or underlying tension. How much we wish for and pray for peace in our world - which we cannot control. But where we can largely control peace is in our own relationships. Paul tells us as believers, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18)." We all acknowledge that this is not always easy but it can become an intentional way of life if we choose to make it so.

Think of relationships within families, in congregations, and in the workplace. While we cannot control the attitudes and actions of others we can control our own. There are people who create conflict in their relationships and there are others who bring peace to relationships and don't get entangled with the conflicts of others. This is not a peace at any cost that chooses not to deal with real issues - but it is an intentional way of life that seeks peace and understanding wherever that is possible.

By conflict, I am not thinking about differences of opinion or robust dialogue over issues that can be done without personal attack or hidden agendas. In healthy marriages, workplaces or among friends, there can be major differences that are expressed by self defined people without relational disconnect. What I am talking about is conflict that creates relational dissonance because we are dealing with individuals who cannot separate relationships from differences, who are black and white about the world and therefore create "us and them" situations which by definition destroys peace and creates division.

What practices contribute to living at peace with one another?

Don't get pulled into the dysfunctional relationships of others who thrive on conflict. Some people have to have an enemy in their life to fight. They actually create dragons they can go slay and create alliances with others against those dragons. The best thing we can do is stay out, keep our own council and not get involved. This is often true in family dynamics where the "family system" thrives on conflict between family members. Stay out of it and when necessary limit your exposure to those family members. The same family dynamics are often found in churches and again, it is wise to keep a distance from those who thrive on division.

Beware of critical people. Critical people create conflict. In fact their constant criticism of other people is a sign that they enjoy conflictual relationships (otherwise why be critical?). Gracious people overlook what can be overlooked for the sake of peace. Critical people are people in search of conflict.

Know what hills are worth dying on. Some but not many! If an issue is going to lead to personal conflict think carefully about whether it is worth raising.

Keep your distance from people who cannot separate differences of opinion from relationships. Healthy people are self defined. They are able to hold their own opinions and respect those who hold different opinions. Unhealthy people need others to agree with them and if they don't often assume that they "are not for them." This is pathology and you are unlikely to change it. Keep your distance!

When we choose to disagree, do it in an agreeable way. Conflict can be avoided by simply choosing to be agreeable even when disagreeing. Keep issues from becoming personal by speaking to the issue and avoiding personal attacks. Healthy individuals de-escalate conflict (a soft word turns away wrath) rather than escalating conflict. Healthy individuals seek reconciliation rather than division.

Don't hold on to issues. Forgive, keep short accounts and never judge motives. When we let go we have a much greater chance at living at peace. Sometimes, choosing to live at peace is to realize that knotty issues will not be sorted out this side of heaven and we simply choose to forgive and move on so we are not held in bondage to the unresolved issue. We give up our right to "be right" for the sake of a peaceful relationship.

There are times when we cannot easily live at peace with others which is why Paul says "as far as it depends on you." We cannot control the attitudes and actions of others but we can control our own. It takes wisdom, intentionality, and a heart of peace to be a person of peace.

Growing better self awareness

2012-01-13T01:00:00.002-08:00

How well do you know yourself? Self awareness is a critical factor in the success of our relationships, friendships and work staff. Unaware people often hurt others and their relationships because they are not cognizant of how their words, attitudes or behaviors impact others. This is especially true with unaware leaders whose lack of awareness causes staff to think that they are uncaring, harsh, lack empathy or simply narcissistic.

Self awareness means that I understand how I am wired, how I am likely to react to others and situations, what my blind spots and shadow side are, what pushes my emotional buttons and how I am perceived by those around me. While those perceptions may not be the "real us" from our point of view, they are the "real us" to those around us.

For instance, I can be viewed as distant and private by those who know me from a distance. To mitigate against that I work on spending quality time with those I work with and being as self-disclosing as possible so that they understand the real me. However, if I was not aware of that perception, I would not be able to take steps to counter it.

What is important to understand is that we have a view of who we are but others around us also have a view of who we are and the two views may be very different. In fact, the more self aware we are the less discrepancy there will be between our view of us and others view of us and the less self aware we are the greater the discrepancy will be. That is because a large part of self awareness is understanding how others perceive us.

Self aware people are able to take steps to mitigate against the parts of their wiring that can be troublesome in interactions and relationships. We cannot fundamentally change our wiring (although the Holy Spirit can) but we can manage our shadow side in ways that facilitate healthier interactions and relationships.

How do we grow our self awareness? I would suggest doing some reading on EQ or Emotional Intelligence as a start. That will at least give one a framework to understand oneself better. To drill down deeper, we need to have some conversations with those around us as to how they perceive us and what they think our blind spots are. Because we are blind to our blind spots, only feedback from others will help us understand what they are.

Find a trusted friend or colleague and ask some questions: What do you see as my greatest strengths? What do you see as my greatest weaknesses? Describe your perception of who I am to me. What things do you think I am blind to in my interactions, attitudes or actions? Are there things I do that unintentionally hurt others or damage relationships? If you could be completely candid with me about something you see that I should be aware of, what would it be?

I am blessed to have a wife who is honest with me and trusted colleagues who I can have those kinds of conversations with. I am more self aware because of it and better able to manage those parts of me that can hurt others or be perceived as insensitive. I have come a long way but am certain I have a long way to go given the complexities of how I am wired. However, my self discovery has been a major part of my growth as an individual, husband, father and leader.

It should be obvious that this kind of self discovery takes a great deal of humility and a lack of defensiveness. It is defensive people, and those who need to project a certain image who are the least self aware because they lack the ability to hear feedback from others. In fact, if you are unable to ask these kinds of questions and hear candid feedback it should be a warning to you that you are not only self unaware but likely to stay that way because of the fear of understanding the real you. Growing our self awareness is part of the journey to becoming healthier individuals.

Jesus centered churches

2012-01-12T01:00:00.001-08:00

I dream of a church where...

Jesus and the gospel He proclaimed is the center of everything. Jesus changes lives, and the gospel He proclaimed changes lives and communities as God's people live out their faith in all arenas of life. The Bible is not a self help book as practical as it is. It is the story of redemption - how the God of the universe came to change broken lives through forgiveness, new life, transformation and purpose in joining Him in His work. At the center of everything is Jesus who invites us to follow Him. I dream of a church where Jesus is the center of everything.

The transformation of the gospel in our lives is the goal of all we do. Transformation of our hearts where we understand and live out grace, transformation of our minds so we think like Jesus, transformation of our priorities so our live reflect the concerns of Jesus and transformation of our relationships so that we see people like Jesus sees them and love them like Jesus loves them. Transformation is not a set of rules and regulations but cooperating with the Holy Spirit to see these four areas that make up our lives resonate with Jesus. I dream of a church where becoming like Jesus is the overriding goal.

Success is defined by spiritual transformation and not by numbers, size, facilities and programs. Too many churches are chasing the wrong dream - size, facilities and programs when the Biblical definition of success is spiritual transformation of people who live, grow and minister in community (Ephesians). I dream of a church where success is not defined by the metrics of the world but by the life change Jesus wants to bring.

We are outward focused rather than inward focused. Jesus went to where the people who needed him were while we often hope they will come to us at our church. If you look at the typical church programming we are so scheduled with church activities that we have little time to develop relationships with those who need Jesus let alone to get involved in meaningful ways in their lives. I dream of a church where intentional involvement with those who don't know Jesus is the norm not the exception.

Grace and love reign supreme. Each of us who knows Jesus is in His family because he extended His amazing grace to us when we did not deserve it and He loved us with an everlasting love. If He did that for us, we need to do that for one another and for those who don't yet know Him. I dream of a church where His love, acceptance and grace is extended to all and is the magnet that draws people to Jesus.

God's truth is proclaimed in its fullness. God's Word contains all that we need for a life of godliness but it must be taught in its entirety - those parts that we love and those parts that are hard and inconvenient for us to confront. Jesus gladly forgives our sin but also calls us to obedience and followership. He freely gives us grace but tells us not to use that grace as an excuse to sin. The Pentateuch gives us a foundation for a moral and upright life, the historical books examples of people who did or did not follow God, the books of wisdom proclaim the fear of the Lord, the prophets, the heart of God, the Gospels the centrality of Jesus and the epistles the guidance for holy living. I dream of a church that boldly proclaims His truth in its fullness so that we are thoroughly equipped for a life of godliness.

Transparency and authenticity are the rule rather than the exception. Christians are broken sinners, saved by grace who still struggle with all the issues that make up the human condition living in a fallen world. Yet the church is often the last place that we are able to be authentic and transparent about our struggles. I dream of a church where authenticity is celebrated and through transparency we are able to experience and give grace and spur one another on to faithful followership of Jesus.

Our communities are directly impacted by the gospel. Jesus did not come just to change individual hearts. His gospel is designed to have a profound impact on society through the influence of His followers as they live out their faith in their circles of influence, neighborhoods and workplaces. Jesus Himself asked us to pray that His will would be done on earth as it is done in heaven. I dream of a church that takes seriously His call to be salt and light in their community and influence their community with the love, righteousness and grace of Jesus.

All people are equally loved, cared for, appreciated and ministered to. Jesus loved all and He had special compassion and love for those whom the rest of society spurned whether wealthy tax collectors, beggars, the poor, the lame and sick or prostitutes. All were welcome at his table, in His crowd and in His family. We cannot live out the life of Jesus or His gospel without caring about all people, not simply the ones who we are comfortable with. I dream of a church that goes out of its way to find and minister to the marginalized in society.

The reputation of Jesus is always lifted high. Congregations, like people, either lift high the reputation of Jesus or drag Him down to our level in the minds of others through our behavior, love or lack of it, grace or lack of it. Fighting and bickering congregations hurt the reputation of Jesus while those who live in unity, even in the hard times, lift it up. I dream of a church that places His name and reputation higher than its own wants and desires and always chooses behaviors that will lift Jesus high.

And you, what do you dream for the church?

A vision without a workable strategy is an hallucination

2012-01-11T01:00:00.001-08:00

Vision is a funny thing. Lots of people (and leaders) have vision but many cannot deliver on that vision because they cannot develop a realistic strategy that will allow them to accomplish the vision. That is why a vision without a workable strategy is hallucination: an unfulfillable dream, a false hope and an empty promise.

The problem with this is that vision usually comes from leaders and leaders have followers and staff. It is staff who have to live with the unmet dreams of their leaders and the implications of chasing a vision that they know is a foolish dream. I remember a leader I once worked for who hired a staff member to accomplish a specific task that was vital to the organization.

As I listened to the vision of that new staff member and his strategy for how he would accomplish it I knew in my heart that "this dog won't hunt" but I was not in a position to do or say much as I was lower in the organizational chain and this was a senior level hire of a senior level executive. Nor was I asked my opinion.

In this case we wasted three years of effort, built a staff we had to eventually let go and lost one million dollars in the process. And I had to pick up the pieces when it fell apart and the staff member was let go. Not only did we pay huge "dumb tax" for the foolish expectations and their results but the senior leader lost great credibility in the eyes of his staff for leading us down a path that resulted in organizational damage and could have been avoided. The Walter Mitty vision of the senior leader was an hallucination.

It is not that this leader (the one who hired) and the staff member (the one who was hired) did not have a strategy to reach their vision. Their problem was that it was not a workable strategy. It was built on false assumptions, optimistic rather than realistic thinking which did not even move the ball down the field a bit but rather went the wrong direction entirely.

How does one avoid moving mistaking vision for dreams or hallucinations? A key is not to develop vision by oneself. Senior leaders should work the visioning process with other senior staff who must help deliver on the vision. That includes a reasonable, workable strategy for how the organization will accomplish its vision. Usually that will mean changes in the current paradigm or strategy that the organization is using. After all, the current paradigm got you to where you are but was not designed to get you to where you need to go next.

That raises the question of whether the organization and its leaders are ready and willing to refocus their efforts, personnel and resources toward the accomplishing of the new vision? Adopting a new vision without refocusing the organization toward that new vision is also an hallucination. Refocusing may well mean that some staff who were key in the past will need to be let go in order to accomplish the new. It may well mean that other staff will need to be refocused and even organizational structures changed to meet the needs of a new vision and a new day. It is a grave mistake to assume that your current ministry paradigm will get you to a new vision and the next level.

Here are the kinds of questions that need to be addressed if a vision is going to be more than a dream:

Is this a realistic vision and is it the right vision for us as an organization?
Do we have buy in from senior staff toward a new vision and what is our plan to create a guiding coalition within the organization to move in a new direction?
Do we have a realistic and workable plan to accomplish the vision?
What are the unintended consequences of moving in our new direction?
How do we need to restructure staff, budgets or organizational structure to focus on the new vision?
How will we know if we are being successful and how do we monitor progress?

Vision is a wonderful and necessary element of leadership. But, a vision without a workable strategy is simply a hallucination.

Don't gunnysack stuff

2012-01-10T01:00:00.001-08:00

Have you ever had a situation where your emotions toward someone erupted with an explosion, seemingly out of nowhere and you wondered, where did that come from? Why did I do that? Often, the reason is that you had gunnysacked issues rather than dealing with them and the gunnysack got full and you exploded. It happens to the best of us. We can do it with a spouse, with other family members or colleagues - anyone with whom we have regular interactions.

Gunnysacking happens when we take irritations, slights or offenses from others and toss them in our gunnysack rather than either dealing with them by a candid conversation or forgiving them. One cannot carry around a heavy gunnysack forever without the weight of it affecting us. When the gunnysack gets full enough of unresolved issues it is likely to explode with an eruption of emotion that we regret afterwards.

It is not always offenses that cause us to erupt. It can also be irritations to us from the quirks of others. All of us have quirks of personality which can irritate others. When we allow those quirks to fester as irritations to us they also can cause us to erupt in unhealthy ways of we have gunnysacked them. Often this happens with extended family when someones attitudes, biases, actions or words irritate us to the core but there is nothing we can do about it.

How do we prevent gunnysack eruptions? First, always be aware of the danger of gunnysacking when we are with people that irritate or who have slighted us. Remember that tossing those irritations, slights and offenses into our gunnysack is going to hurt us in the long run.

Second, keep short accounts. Most issues that we take as slights or offenses do not come from ill motives and judging motives is the worst thing we can do as we are usually wrong in our judgement. If needed, have a conversation where you can clarify the issue: "This is how it felt to me when you said or did such and such and I am sure you did not intend for me to feel that way, so can you help me understand?" Much better to get the issue on the table than to toss it in your gunnysack.

The harder thing to deal with are irritations. Sometimes it is good to tell people that when they do such and such it is irritating to you. Other times it is best to simply give them space and even to limit your exposure to them if having a conversation about the behaviors will be counter productive. There are people in my life that push buttons in me and the best way to deal with it is self awareness and limiting my exposure to them.

However we deal with issues that irritate or cause offenses, the one thing we don't want to do is throw them in our gunnysack and carry them around. The weight is unhealthy for us and eventually may cause an unhealthy response on our part.

Ethics in hiring staff

2012-01-09T01:00:00.000-08:00

We often don't think of ethics when it comes to hiring staff but the truth is that there is a significant ethical dimension to hiring, for the organization doing the hiring, for the individual under consideration and for the individuals that the new hire will impact. Consider these issues:

One: From an organizational point of view, we obviously are looking for staff members who will help us accomplish our mission. One of our key responsibilities, however, is to be as candid, honest and forthcoming about the strengths and weaknesses of the organization. Unless the potential staff member knows the true state of the organization, they are not in a position to make a fair analysis of their potential fit.

One way to facilitate this is to invite the individual to talk with as many key individuals in the organization as possible to receive candid and unvarnished feedback. When hiring individuals who will be working for me, for instance, I invite them to talk to others who also work for me so that they get the best picture of what they are getting into as possible. They will hear things that I would not even think to share because they are not on my radar screen. My bottom line is that I don't want a staffer to tell me he/she was surprised by something six months in. My ethical responsibility is to ensure that they get the best information possible.

Two: From the candidates point of view, I need to ensure that the job being offered is truly in the lane of the person under consideration. If I hire someone who does not fit the position, I have messed with their life. Yes, they have a responsibility to answer the question of fit as well but if I am hiring it is my job to do the best due diligence possible to mitigate against a bad fit which will hurt them and the organization should it not work out.

This means that I should be willing to make whatever time and financial investment is needed to ensure a good match. On the time front it includes dialogue and discussion the potential staff member and with references. On the financial side it may well mean testing to determine competencies, wiring and fit. While we may not get it right all the time, our commitment is to have done all that we can to get it right.

A key practice here is never to do the hiring by yourself. None of us have the insight necessary to see all the angles, upsides and downsides of a candidate. I involve as many people in the process as I need to in order to ensure the best evaluation. If one of my key staff members has a yellow or red flag, I pay great attention to that and am unlikely to hire until that flag has been resolved. The stakes are too high. In this process, one of the most important questions I am trying to answer is whether the candidate has good Emotional Intelligence (EQ) or not. The answer to that question will be one of the chief determiners of a successful hire. (For more information on EQ, see blogs with the EQ label).

Third, from the team's point of view I want to ensure that the potential hire will be a good fit on the team they will serve on. That means that I need to involve other members of the team in the decision. Every hire has an impact on the rest of the team. I have a responsibility to them to ensure that the hire will serve the team well rather than hurt it. Not to involve them is both foolish and potentially harmful. Never hire an individual that cannot work in a healthy team environment no matter what their brilliance or skills. To do so is to disempower and therefore hurt the rest of the team.

In the hiring process, a guiding principle is that we pay now or we pay more later. In other words, the cost of getting it wrong is high, in disruption to the staff member, disruption to the organization and the complicated process of letting someone go. One either does good due diligence on the front end or one ends up paying significant costs to sever the relationship. There is no upside to a bad fit for anyone.

It is a sign of carelessness with people when we do not take the hiring process seriously. Too much is at stake for the individual, organization and team.

Reclaiming corporate prayer

2012-01-08T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is interesting that for all the talk about the necessity of prayer in our ministries and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, the time devoted to prayer in most weekend services is minimal and sometimes almost non existent. In addition, it is often obvious that when there is prayer it has not been thought through and yet it is meant to represent the whole congregation. Corporate prayer is often an afterthought in our worship experiences.

Here is an interesting question. Where do people learn how to pray? I am not talking about praying for personal needs, as we are all pretty good at that, human nature being what it is. But where do we learn to pray for the work of God in our lives, for the expansion of the gospel, for confession of personal and corporate sin, for our communities to be touched with God's grace, or to thank him for the amazing grace He has showered on our lives?

Think of the prayers of the Old Testament or the New and ask yourself, "When do I hear prayer like that in church?" If not modeled in our services, where will it be modeled? If that kind of prayer was important to the prophets, Jesus or the Apostles, why is it not equally important to us? Often we are left with an anemic idea of what prayer is about when it is central to all we will become as Christ followers.

Those who come from a tradition of liturgy know the value of well thought out prayer. Sure, it can become rote, as any worship can, but the value of carefully crafted prayer that reflects the priorities of God (not always the same as ours) and lifts up the majesty and greatness of God is powerful. Whether prayers of the people, prayers of blessing, of confession or praise, how we lead people in corporate prayer says much about our own value of prayer and about what we are teaching our people in this regard. The very language we use in leading people in corporate prayer either lifts Him up or "dumbs" him down to those we lead.

We ought to put the same time, preparation and effort into corporate prayer as we do for all other parts of our services. It is a holy moment when together we lift our hearts to God's throne and corporately confess, praise or ask for His intervention for the sick and hurting. I suspect that off the cuff prayer is treated as such by the congregation while seriously thought out prayer is treated with equal seriousness by those who should be silently (or sometimes verbally) participating.

Take time to look up the great prayers in Scripture and think about the concerns that were lifted up to the Father. And, encourage the practice of well thought out corporate prayer in your congregation.

Pastoral and staff reviews

2012-01-07T01:00:00.000-08:00

I remember my first annual review as a pastor. It was painful: not because the elders thought I was doing a poor job but because it was not based on a clear job description so the comments were random, some felt petty or unfair and simply reflected the personal biases of various board members. I remember thinking, "well that didn't feel good!"

As a firm believer in feedback and reviews I also have strong views on the context in which they are done.

First, they should only be done after a staff member or pastor have been working with a clear set of expectations for at least a year. In our organization, we use Key Result Areas and an Annual Ministry Plan which define the key results expected from the job and the plan laid out by the staff member to achieve those results. This changes the equation from a focus on activity to results, and it is based on agreed upon results and plans so there can be objectivity. Without agreed upon results, any review will simply be a reflection of the biases of a particular board member and not a fair evaluation of the staff member.

Second, it is critical to do a review annually, not when the board or supervisor starts to believe there is a problem. Often, the first review a pastor gets is when there is disagreement between them and the board. The review is then used as the means of addressing long standing problems but unfairly so since there has not been agreed upon outcomes up to that point.

Third, reviews should not have any surprises in them. Good supervisors or boards talk about issues long before they become major issues. There is ongoing dialogue between staff and supervisor or senior pastor and board in healthy ministry situations so that there is never a surprise. Surprises are an indication that such dialogue has not been taking place.

Fourth, reviews should be honest and candid. Don't dodge issues that need to be addressed. If you do, staff don't grow and become all that they can be. Direct and candid feedback is a critical element in growth. When we are not honest - often in the name of grace - we compromise the development and growth of staff. Be direct, honest, candid and invite dialogue to ensure that the issues, if there are any, are understood.

A full paradigm for Key Result Areas, Annual Plans and annual reviews is found in my book "Leading From the Sandbox: How to Develop, Empower and Release High Impact Ministry Teams." It lays out a simple, clear and results oriented process to clarify expectations as well as a healthy process for creating dialogue around work results. Do it right and annual reviews are a key part in creating a healthy environment for staff. Do it wrong and the opposite occurs.

Our primary mission in life - and its not about us!

2012-01-06T01:00:00.001-08:00

I confess that I do a lot of thinking about me, my situation, my needs, my wants and my desires. Can you relate? I don't like to admit it but I am selfish to the core. It is the human condition and only Jesus can tear open our hearts for unselfish living - bit by bit as we come to grips with the fact that as Christ followers life is not ultimately about us!

Jesus made a profound statement as he contemplated his own death. He confessed, "Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour?' No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!" (John 12:27-28).

How often do we ask God to save us from some dilemma, to remove some suffering, to heal some illness - all legitimate requests. But how often do we say, "Father, glorify your name through my situation?" Ultimately, it is His glory that is paramount, not our desires. Sometimes His glory is in answering our prayers. Sometimes His glory is found in our faith in the middle of crushing difficulty.

Just before Jesus asked the Father to glorify His name, He reminded His disciples that "unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me (John 12:24-26)."

It is in our dying to self in order to live for God that we see our lives honor and glorify Him. It is in putting His interests first - choosing to live our lives with His priorities in mind that we glorify the Father. It is in following Him wherever He is and wherever He desires to take us that we glorify Him. It is in remaining faithful in the hard times, choosing faith and hope over despair and hopelessness that I lift His name up!

We have many requests for God. We depend on Him for our daily bread in so many ways. But ultimately He desires that we care about His glory. His glory in our lives is the greatest gift that we can give Him.

"Father, what needs to die in me today so that my life produces many seeds? Would you glorify your name through me today no matter what my circumstances?"

Those who lead set the pace!

2012-01-05T01:00:00.000-08:00

Leaders set the standards in their ministries, team leaders for their teams, parents for their children, volunteers for those they oversee, church leaders for their congregations. All of us who lead anything set the culture, ethos, attitudes and standards for others on our team. And most all of us do lead something or someone!

Don't underestimate the importance of this responsibility! Both the health and dishealth of families, teams and organizations can often (not always) be traced back to the example set by its leaders. Think about these areas that directly impact the health of a team.

Attitude toward leadership and authority. When leaders display cynicism toward those they are accountable to, their attitudes are picked up by those they lead who often develop similar attitudes. When leaders are respectful of those who lead them, others will be as well. Pastors, for instance who are critical of their boards breed the same attitude in their staff while those who are supportive and respectful communicate a healthy attitude. Our attitude toward authority is easily read by those we lead.

Words matter. Our choice of words, our use of them, whether they are critical or constructive, kind or harsh, respectful or disrespectful communicate a great deal to those we lead. Careless words reflect careless thinking and often careless relationships. Our words, according to Jesus, also reflect the state of our hearts. There is much in Scripture about gossip, slander, harsh and unkind words, anger and nonconstructive talk. The vocabulary, content and attitudes of our conversation and communication convey a standard for those we influence and lead.

Behavior communicates. I am often amazed at the behaviors of leaders in the ministry arena: uncontrolled anger, defensiveness, inability to disagree in an agreeable way, yelling, threats, lack of approachability. Often I see behaviors in ministry that would be grounds for discipline or termination in the business world. Certainly such behaviors are contrary to the attitude, teaching and modeling of Christ. One of the marks of leaders in the church is that they are "self controlled" - the ability to monitor and control our emotions and behaviors - especially those that are unhealthy and get us into trouble. Our behaviors set the tone for a healthy or unhealthy environment. Jesus is our model and example.

Relational health. All ministry is based on relationships and the health of the relationships of leaders again sets the tone for the kinds of relationships others will develop. Relational health includes the ability to be self defined and accept differing views, to stay connected with people we may disagree with, to seek the best for others and to genuinely care for them. Relational dishealth includes marginalizing those who disagree with us, being threatened by strong leaders, lack of openness to the feedback of others (defensiveness), or the inability to work collaboratively. Relational health on teams is almost always a reflection of the relational health of leaders. Jesus never used or abused people. He saw each one as people made in the image of God and treated them in that light.

Standards for behaviors, attitudes, words, and relationships are not set by policies. They are ultimately set by the example of leaders. No policy is more powerful than the example of leaders. No leaders can hold staff responsible for behaviors that they themselves do not adhere to. On those rare occasions when I have had to talk to a staff member about one of these issues, I will ask the question: "Have I ever treated you this way?" My point is twofold: first that you have not seen me behave this way toward you and I am your leader and second, I have the moral authority to keep the bar high if I do so for myself. It is my responsibility as a leader. And yours.

Angry leaders

2012-01-04T01:00:00.001-08:00

Consider this scenario. A ministry leader walks up to one of his staffers in a group of individuals, points his finger at his chest and says, "I am in charge here and don't ever tell (name withheld) what they can or cannot do."

What has just happened? The leader has used his anger as a means of power, control and intimidation and done so in a public manner. Whether or not he had reason to confront the other staff member is not the issue. The way he did it was wrong.

There are a segment of leaders in ministry and business who lead out of anger. Those who work for them know that if they cross them, they will face the wrath of the leader. It may be in the form of a threat (I could fire you), in the form of an angry response (Don't ever cross me again), in the form of marginalization (those who are not for me are against me), or in the form of embarrassment (like the example above where there is a public rebuke). Raised voices, high emotion, inability to dialogue, pronouncements of what you will or will not do, clear anger and implied threats are all part of leading by anger. There are many other examples but the key principle is that the leader is using anger as a means of holding power over others, controlling others or intimidating others.

Often times staff members are not immediately aware that their leader is using anger to control them. What they feel is an uneasiness with the leadership style they are experiencing. Here are some of the warning signs that their leader is leading out of anger.

Staff feel like they are walking on eggshells around their leader. Fear of a leader's response is a clear indicator of leading by fear. Staff members are careful about what they say, how they say it and often simply keep silent because they don't want to be the subject of the leader's wrath. Often in these situations staff do not know which of their leader's personalities will show up on any given day.

A leader often lets staff know who is "in charge." Those who lead from anger often use their leadership "authority" to control and manipulate their staff. Subtle or not so subtle reminders of their authority communicates to the staff that they better "toe the line" of whatever the leader desires or become the subject of their anger.

Anger surfaces when one tries to discuss with the leader behaviors that are unhealthy or issues that the leader feels strongly about. It is not uncommon for staff members to try to talk with leaders who lead out of anger about behaviors that hurt them or the team. What they typically get is a predictable angry response along with a reminder of who is in charge or, defensiveness tinged with irritation. If this becomes a pattern, you know you have a very unhealthy leader on your hands.

A leader divides people into two categories: those who are for them (friends) and those who are against them (enemies). Those who lead from anger, by nature see people as either for them or against them. By definition, those who are for them agree with them and don't cross them while those who disagree with them and cross them are moved to the "enemy" camp. Thus angry leaders build two camps: friends and enemies and you are in one or the other and there is no in between. Often, a staff member who starts out as a friend ends up as an enemy when they find their voice and start to stand up to their leader.

There is a bully factor to the leader. Angry leaders need to have their own way and will use whatever tactics they need to in order to achieve it. It can be a tactic of power (I can fire you) or a tactic of manipulation (I should just resign) or something else but it is manipulation to achieve their ends. Sometimes it is ingratiating (I am so glad I can trust you unlike the others) or the opposite (I am starting to question your effectiveness and loyalty). Whatever the tactic, staff members leave their interactions with a vague feeling that they have been used, manipulated or bullied into line.

Angry leaders are are very hard to please. Angry leaders are often driven leaders whose primary concern is how they look, how their ministry succeeds and when their expectations are not met you know it! Because life and ministry is about them, anyone who does not contribute to their success by their definition is marginalized, criticized or even discarded. Whenever there is high staff turnover one needs to turn over the rocks and look underneath to determine why. When there is a history of staff leaving or being terminated it is a clue that not all is right.

Angry leaders lack humility and often display arrogance. Angry leaders are rarely collegial but believe that they have the answers. They often make strong statements about people (often unkind) and situations. Because they are not open to feedback and dialogue when it does not agree with their conclusions it is difficult if not impossible to change their minds. Anger and arrogance are twins.

Here is what one needs to know about leaders who lead from anger. They are deeply unhealthy individuals who create a toxic environment for staff and therefore for the church or organization they lead. Their anger stems from deep and unresolved personal issues and at their core they are deeply insecure people who get their security from their ability to control others. It is a no win situation for staff because they will not change the equation by confronting the behaviors - in fact confrontation brings out the worst. And, the lack of emotional health in the leader will infect the rest of the organization.

The obvious question is what does one do? If you are a board member who sees these kinds of behaviors you have a responsibility to ensure that your leader gets help. Your responsibility is to ensure health in the organization and this is a major sign of dishealth. Even though boards like to give their senior leader the benefit of the doubt, unacceptable behaviors must be dealt with. If you are a staff member caught in this situation and see no hope of change, I would leave before the dishealth of the leader creates discouragement and cynicism in you that compromises your future ministry. If those who have the authority to act (boards) do not, take charge of your own life before you are hurt and compromised.

I am always puzzled why boards, who often know of deep issues in a senior leader do not confront them, require them to get help and if the behaviors continue fire them. We allow behaviors in the church and in Christian organizations that even the secular world would consider unacceptable and beyond the pale. There are toxic workplaces that exist right under the noses of boards who either are clueless or choose to ignore it. In the process they hurt staff, ministry effectiveness and the constituency they serve.

Our habits and a long view of life

2012-01-03T01:00:00.001-08:00

Living in the "instant" world of the west where we love immediate results, quick fixes and instant gratification, we often forget that the Christian life is a marathon rather than a sprint and that long term results are the product of long term rather than short term thinking. The Apostle Paul talks about "running the race with our eyes fixed on the prize." He also often speaks of endurance and perseverance. Eugene Peterson rightly called it a "long obedience in the same direction."

The key to a long view of life is the development of habits that will sustain us over the long haul. Habits are long term disciplines or practices rather than short term "resolutions." They form a personal frame or infrastructure that the rest of life connects to. Just as the hidden steel frame of a large building holds all the component parts together, so the habits we develop are the invisible underpinnings of our lives which everything else is connected to and influenced by.

There is good news and bad news in this. The bad news is that unhealthy habits have long term ramifications for our lives if not corrected since our life infrastructure touches everything else. That is why it is so important to deal with sinful habits rather than to ignore or nurture them. But the good news is that the development of healthy habits has long term healthy ramifications and gives us the means of going the distance well and living out that "long obedience in the same direction:" in the power of the Holy Spirit. And, it is never too late to develop new and healthy habits.

Practices become habits when they are practiced long enough that they become second nature. For instance, many people have a habit of spending money they don't really have thanks to the ease of using a credit card. That habit over the long term leads to a life of debt and dependence on others. Others never spend what they don't have. They have practiced a healthy discipline long enough that it is second nature to them. Over the long term it leads to financial health.

Habits we form in our marriages determine the quality of our relationship with our spouse. Habits in our devotional lives form the quality of our relationship with God. Habits in our professional life form the quality of our work. Habits in our hidden life form the quality of our moral architecture. Habits in our relation to our health form the foundation for good or poor health. In every instance, habits contribute either to long term health or to long term dysfunction.

Studies have shown that our long term practices or habits actually cause changes to our brain. The reason new habits are hard to develop is that our brain is trained to respond in an alternative way (like the urge to purchase on credit). Every time we engage in a certain practice, our brain chemistry strengthens the chemical connections that encourage that particular behavior. The good news is that we can retrain our brain with the practice of new habits which in the long term sustains us in that practice.

As we think about our lives we ought to be aware of the habits that underlie our actions. Which are healthy and helpful? Which are problematic and hurtful? Which are pleasing to God and which are not? In relation to the former, working hard on making these central to our lives becomes our goal and as to the latter, they become those things that the New Testament says we need to "take off" and discard.

When Paul talks about old things to take off and new things to put on (see Ephesians 4-5 for instance) he is talking about practices which are habits. The old are destructive and the new reflect the character of Christ. When we cooperate with the Holy Spirit, He gives us the ability to discard the old and put on the new. Remember these habits are the invisible framework that make up our lives and contribute either to a long and healthy view of life or a dysfunctional view of life.

Don't rob people of the joy of worship

2012-01-02T01:00:00.000-08:00

One of the temptations, particularly as churches grow, is to professionalize worship to a place where it is about the "excellence" of the performance on stage, perfect timing, awesome acoustics and providing an " unforgettable experience" each week. I know pastors who actually become angry or anxious at any "imperfections" in the service. Appearances and performance can start to mean everything.

What easily gets lost in all this is that worship is not about a performance but about helping people express their love, appreciation and commitment to the Lord of Lords who is holy, righteous, loving, merciful and faithful. It is both an individual and corporate expression of worship of the Almighty God. It is deeply personal and by nature must be participatory. It is not about who is on stage, but about the hearts of the congregation as they lift their voices and prayer and thoughts to their Heavenly Father. In fact, anything that happens up front that detracts from the congregation joining in personal, corporate and authentic worship is counter to the purpose of worship.

Good worship leaders both plan the service carefully and are sensitive to the Holy Spirit when He breaks in and changes the plan. Worship that never deviates from the plan is worship that is not sensitive to what the Holy Spirit might be doing in the service and among His people. After all, why should He not respond to the worship of His people? And what if He desires that the service go more than the allotted number of minutes? God cannot be boxed in and when He is, we are the ones who suffer.

And what about simplicity on occasion? A simple hymn, a quiet meditation, the scriptural and theological integrity of good liturgy where we recite Scripture and truth to God as they did in the early church, reminding ourselves of the basics of our faith. Or times when we are still and silent before God echoing the Psalmist who said "Be still and know that I am God."

My observation is that many of us have a deep hunger to worship God rather than to attend a performance about God. Our hearts are often parched from the stresses of the week and they need the living water of His truth, the encouragement of His promises and the opportunity to freely sing and pray to the One who is our ultimate Hope and greatest joy. Anything that distracts from that opportunity gets in the way of our hearts being refilled for the week ahead. Never rob people of the joy of worship. It is about God, not about us, it is about the congregation lifting God up, not about those who are in front. Their job is to make it easy for the rest to spend time in His presence.

A prayer for the new year

2012-01-01T01:00:00.000-08:00

Father God

You are the Author of history

and the Redeemer in my life story.

I thank You for Your great faithfulness in this past year

and ask for Your personal presence in the coming year.

Savior,

grant to me faith to follow You well,

courage to go where you call me,

the ability to love others well

and to live generously always.

Jesus,

give me a heart

that looks increasingly like Your heart

so that others see You in me

and attract them to You.

Emmanuel,

I pray for the expansion of your Kingdom worldwide

that Your will would be done on earth

as it is in heaven.

May Your glory cover the earth

as the waters cover the sea

until all have have heard Your name
and Your reputation is lifted high.

Holy Spirit,

give me ears to hear your words

and discernment to follow Your ways.

Be my Counselor and Teacher

each day.

Father,

may I glorify You

as Jesus glorified You

and please you

in all that I do.

Amen

Certified: Pure for God!

2011-12-31T01:00:00.001-08:00

It is a huge story in Jerusalem.

(Reuters) - Israeli archaeologists said on Sunday they had found a 2,000-year-old clay seal near Jerusalem's Western Wall, confirming written accounts of ritual practices in the biblical Jewish Temple.
The button-shaped object bears the Aramaic words "pure for God," suggesting it was used to certify food and animals used in sacrificial ceremonies.
The Western Wall is part of the compound revered by Jews as the Temple Mount, where Islam's al-Aqsa mosque and Dome of the Rock shrine now stand in a holy complex Muslims call the Noble Sanctuary.
"It seems that the inscribed object was used to mark products or objects that were brought to the Temple, and it was imperative they be ritually pure," the Israel Antiquities Authority said in a statement announcing the find.
The authority said it believed it was the first time such a seal had been excavated, providing direct archaeological evidence of ritual activity in the temple described in ancient texts.

The book of Leviticus is often overlooked because of its emphasis on the moral, civil and ceremonial law. For instance, in the instructions regarding sacrifices one reads this: "You must present a male without defect from the cattle, sheep or goats in order that it may be accepted on your behalf. Do not bring anything with a defect, because it will not be accepted on your behalf (Leviticus 22:19-20)."

The moral, civil and ceremonial law covered all aspects of life: marriage, worship, personal purity, sexual purity, and relationships. They were a constant reminder to the Israelites that all of life is sacred to God, and there is no distinction between the sacred and secular! Every aspect of life is to be lived in light of God's holiness and purity. In fact, the prevailing theme through the book of Leviticus is "Keep my commands and follow them. I am the Lord. Do not profane my holy name. I must be acknowledged as holy by the Israelites. I am the Lord who makes you holy and who brought you out of Egypt to be your God. I am the Lord (Leviticus 22:31-33)."

This is why all sacrifices to the Lord had to be certified as "pure for God" as was written on the clay seal found in Jerusalem.

The constant theme in Leviticus in the moral, ceremonial and civil law is the holiness of God and the call for us to emulate that holiness. This theme is picked up often in the New Testament. Paul tells us "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. (Romans 12:1)."

In a world that screams impurity, selfish living, offers many false gods and lifts up materialism as the ultimate goal, we need to ask ourselves if our hearts are certified as pure for God. Is this our goal and are we cooperating with the Holy Spirit to see this become a reality in our lives?

We need this reminder every day!

His mercies are new every morning

2011-12-30T01:00:00.000-08:00

In every situation we face in life, we have two choices: to focus on our issues and problems or to focus on God's mercy and faithfulness. Which we focus on determines our attitude, response and faith.

We often sing the great hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness but many do not know the origins of that hymn. The year was about 586 BC and the Babylonians had just conquered Judah, destroyed the city, torn down the wall, decimated the temple and carried most of the population into captivity.

The prophet Jeremiah is wandering through the wreckage of what had been Jerusalem, now a burned, destroyed hulk of a city. There was nothing to be joyful about. The sin of the people had brought the judgement of God after many warnings. So distraught was Jeremiah that the short book he wrote is called Lamentations meaning sorrows.

But in the middle of that song of sorrow, Jeremiah makes this profound statement:

Yet, this I call to mind

and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love

we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

Great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion,

therefore I will wait for him."

(Lamentations 3:21-24)

There is a reason the hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness, is sung at funerals and in seasons of turmoil. Like Jeremiah this is when we most need to remember and trust in the faithfulness of God.

Whatever our situation today. However discouraging it may be. However great our anxiety or sorrow we can say with Jeremiah, "Great is your faithfulness" and allow that to be the basis of our hope, our trust, and a better future. Not only that but "His compassions never fail and are new every morning." There is no new day we face where we do not experience the mercies and compassions of our faithful father.

What would you do differently this coming year if you knew it was your last year?

2011-12-29T01:00:00.000-08:00

It is easy to live life on autopilot with little introspection as to the direction and the impact of our lives. As this year comes to a close think about this: God just gave us another year of grace - as every year and every day is. It is a year we will never get back and it becomes one more chapter in the record of our lives. I now have nearly 56 chapters completed. Each one is full of God's goodness and grace. How many more chapters I or you have is unknown. All the more reason to live this coming year thoughtfully and intentionally.

Those who live with serious illness or who have experienced one know the value of each new day and the gift it represents. They also know that life is not to be wasted or squandered through an unexamined life. In fact, life changing events are often the shock to our system that reminds us that we are mortal, life has limits and time is precious.

As you look toward the coming year, think of it as one of the chapters of the book that will someday represent your life. What do you want this chapter of your life to say? What will it say about your relationship with Jesus, your life priorities, your generosity, your vocation, your marriage, your time with family, your growth, or the use of your gifts for Jesus? Will there be the adventure of risks of faith taken, steps of obedience initiated, time with fellow pilgrims enjoyed?

As a writer with five books under my belt I know something about writing the chapters that make up a book. Each chapter has a number of themes that make up its content. Those themes are fleshed out before the chapter is written but their content is discovered as the words flow from my heart to the page in the writing process. We don't know what the content of our coming year will be given the vagaries of life but we can thoughtfully determine the themes that will make up this chapter.

The thing about life chapters is that we cannot redo them. There are no corrections or editing of completed chapters so planning them thoughtfully and writing them intentionally is all the more important. The good news is that God's grace can cover the past and His presence can cover the new. Write this next chapter of your life with passion, energy and with an eye on eternity. Our volumes will be on display for all to see one day. More importantly we are writing it for Jesus.

Dysfunctional families of origin

2011-12-28T01:00:00.000-08:00

At fifty five, I realize that I still am deeply impacted by my family of origin (what ever happened to growing up?). Our formative years are just that - formative and they stay with us forever. Some of us are more fortunate than others in our families of origin. Some bear great scars that still feel raw to this day. And, none of us grew up in a perfect family and my own children will deal with dysfunctions that I was responsible for. However, there are three questions that I believe can help us see our lives in perspective.

One: What can I thank God for relative to my family of origin? Who we are today is in large part the result of our early years. My understanding of Scripture came from terribly early morning devotions, but those devotions informed my view of Scripture and of God. My love of people from all over the world came from the cross cultural experience I had growing up in Hong Kong and the amazing hospitality which my parents exhibited in welcoming all to our home. If I made a list (and it is a good idea) of the may blessings I experienced from my family of origin it would be long.

Two: What do I need to forgive my parents for? No parents are perfect and their understanding of parenting is a factor of their generation, their spiritual place and their situation in life. I am the first to admit that my kids, Jon and Chip will need to forgive me for parenting mistakes, perhaps that I am not even aware of. Our own parenting skills are a mix of what we saw that we appreciated and what we experienced that was painful. At some point we need to forgive our parents for the painful just as our children will need to forgive us for the same. Ironically we are best suited to raise kids when our grand kids come along.

Forgiveness for the failing of our parents is critical to our own freedom and reflects our own humble evaluation of our own parenting. All of us are in need of God's grace and the grace of others. No parents did it all right. The sooner we forgive, the sooner we are able to deal with the scars we gained early in life.

Three: How do we see God's hand in our personal history? Our upbringing is a mixture of good and bad, happy and sad, levels of family dysfunction and for some, very deep wounds. However, it is an amazing thing to consider how God got us from there to here? How we can see His invisible hand in our personal history to mold us into who we have become and how he presently uses us. Only God has the ability to use both the good and bad of our past and redeem it for His perfect purposes in our present. Only He can change our human scars into divine scars usable by Him.

Ultimately we are not who we are primarily because of our parents but because of the faithfulness of God through our history. Think deeply how God has been present in your history, in your childhood, in all of the events of your life, bringing you to your present place and you will be encouraged. Whether we have much to be thankful for in our upbringing or the need to forgive much that was painful and hurting, the one constant is always the presence of a loving father who brings us to where we are today, redeeming the pain and using all of who we are to impact our world today. Whatever our experiences, God was there in their midst and the proof of that is where He has you today.

I am a far more humble parent than I was when my first son was born. I realize more clearly than ever my own brokenness and that realization helps me forgive the hurts from my own childhood. I hope my children do better than me but know that they deal with their own brokenness and in the end it is the grace and love of Jesus that makes the difference for all of us.

Seven practices of leader learners

2011-12-27T01:00:00.000-08:00

The task of leading becomes ever more challenging given the forces and pace of change. In addition, our busyness as leaders gets in the way of our ability to process, think and reflect on the key issues our organizations face now and in the future. There are, however, seven practices of leader learners that can change the very nature of our leadership. I use the term leader learners deliberately. Not all leaders are learners and not all learners are leaders but leaders who are also learners have a powerful combination.

1. Read widely. Anyone looking at my library would say that it is eclectic: biographies, science, psychology, theology, fiction, classics and the new. Wide reading expands our minds to think bigger thoughts, to prompt new ideas and to give us a rich knowledge base from which to draw life, leadership and practical skills. Reading beyond our expertise area is particularly enriching.

2. Ask questions. We are surrounded by people who do interesting things. Regardless of their occupation or expertise, asking a lot of questions expands our own thinking. What is their strategy, what informs their decisions, why did they do what they did, what is the biggest dumb tax they have paid and what are they learning presently? Learn from others.

3. Think deeply. A friend tells me the story of Bill Gates at a resort in Hawaii where he just sat, rocking back and forth for most of a day - thinking. Thinking deeply is a lost art because we have far too many distractions that vie for our attention. Taking the time to think deeply over issues that matter yields insights that are had no other way.

4. Think differently. Common wisdom is very common and often not wisdom. Question everything! Why do we do what we do the way we do it? Are their "game changers" that would take us to a whole new level rather than a small tweak? Look for contrarian thinkers who give you advice that you might not even agree with but which causes you to consider. Innovators are people who are always asking the why question. They can be irritating but they are also the people who leapfrog others because they think differently.

5. Hang with innovators and creative folks. I am not the most creative guy in the world but I know a lot of people who are and the more time I spend with them the more creatively I think. I especially love time with young creative leaders who see life through a different lens than I do at 55. I need them to stay young!

6. Pray for wisdom and insight. They Holy Spirit has intelligence about what we do that we don't! Ask Him for insight and wisdom and expect that He will talk back. I am convinced that the best ideas I have had did not come from me but came from Him. Ask and you shall receive!

7. Whiteboard monthly. Take just one big rock a month, get the right people into a room and have a whiteboard session around that issue. You will be surprised what the combined intelligence will yield compared to you alone. So simple, but it takes time. I rarely tackle an issue alone. I want the multiplication factor of bright folks and their combined intelligence for the best solution.

The common denominator of these seven practices is time and intentionality. Of course that is what it takes to be a leader learner.

Are you beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists?

2011-12-26T01:00:00.000-08:00

Eric Hoffer puts his finger on a critical truth when the world in which we live is in significant change. “Intimes of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselvesbeautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”

One of the central jobs of a leader is not to specialize in what is today but to anticipate what will be tomorrow. It is to live in the present and the future at the same time knowing that the present will soon be history and the future will soon be today.

Take the US Postal Service which is hemorrhaging red ink as people send far fewer letters. The day the first fax was sent was the day that the Postal Service became obsolete. But no one noticed. Today they are begging junk mailers to send more stuff because the rest of us are using email. They are beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.

Or think of the evangelism strategies of most local churches which assume that people who don't know Christ will come to our church and find Him through some program. For the most part that world no longer exists but the church has not yet noticed. While we are beautifully equipped to put on programs that share the gospel at church the people we want to reach are less and less likely to come to church! The future is going to where people are who need Jesus, not expecting them to come to us - but the church continues to be blissfully unaware that it is bringing the gospel to every sector of life and work that is the key to evangelism.

The most beautifully equipped institutions to deal with a world that no longer exists are seminaries who continue to sell us on the idea that one cannot minister effectively without their education which entails sitting at the feet of the professors for four years. In the meantime many of the most effective workers today are being raised up in the context of ministry, are getting their education on the job and are not infected with the traditional ministry paradigms that still drive the church world. But try to get ordained in most denominations without a seminary education! We have professionalized ministry but the future is the releasing of people into ministry who are called, creative and equipped but not necessary in traditional ways. It almost sounds like the New Testament church!

I work in the world of missions where the whitewater of change is huge. As a group, western missions are beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. Today it belongs to those who are equippers of indigenous workers, rather than those who are still doing what nationals could be doing better than they.

If you lead anything, one needs to be living in the present and the future simultaneously or run the real risk of becoming museum pieces beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. Learners inherit the earth. Learners are those who are paying close attention to the changing environment and are adapting to that change. Learners know that the status quo is not static for long and that tomorrows realities will be different than today's. There are plenty of people who are beautifully equipped to deal with today's realities. Leaders are learners who are equipped to anticipate the needs of tomorrow which will be today all too soon.

A story stranger than fiction

2011-12-25T01:00:00.000-08:00

No story is better known. No story better captures the heart of a child - small or grown - than the one we celebrate today. No matter how many times we hear the story it never grows old, it never disappoints, never ceases to evoke deep emotions of wonder, awe and comfort. An angel’s proclamation to illiterate shepherds, a teenage unwed mother, a loyal carpenter fiancee, the evil king Herod, a cold, clear, Bethlehem night without a place to stay. A messy birth in an animal’s stall, alongside a dirty alley in the dark of night. Confused cows watching unknowing as the Son of the universe stares back unknowing at the very animals He had created eons before. A mother, a child, a carpenter, a few agitated animals and the pungent smell of manure.

This is a story so absurd that it could only have been scripted by a Divine hand. No other writer would have attempted such a script. If they had they would not have claimed it to be true: fiction maybe, but not reality. This is not how the One whose voice had echoed off of a billion galaxies would make His entrance. Without CNN and Fox News, into a hovel known affectionately today as Bethlehem but then nothing more than a tiny village on the path to Jerusalem.

His entrance was marked not by a proclamation to kings but to astonished herdsmen sleeping with sheep. The heavens opened with ten thousand voices – not over Jerusalem the ancient capital – but over a tiny grazing field for a handful of insignificant shepherds. They would be the only witnesses of the grand entrance of a King. No other writer would have written such a script.

No other author would have taken such a chance. For behind this story there are echoes of another story - equally incredulous. Centuries before in the vastness of eternity past – when infinity kissed infinity, The Master of Infinity spoke into being the universe in which we live - 3,000 of whose stars are visible to the careful eye, 30 billion visible from a large telescope, - the other 90% of the universe still hidden from our eyes. Its splendor an eternal testimony to the Author of the story.

Immortal, invisible, God only wise,
In light inaccessible hid from our eyes,
Most blessed, most glorious, the Ancient of Days,
Almighty, victorious, Thy great name we praise.

Great Father of glory, pure Father of light,
Thine angels adore thee, all veiling their sight;
All praise we would render: O help us to see
Tis only the splendor of light hideth Thee.
(Walter Chalmers Smith)

The Author’s heart was restless still, lonely in His perfection. A heart full of love is not easily satisfied. Transcendent goodness longed to give away infinite love. Again the Author spoke: A planet was expertly crafted. One among billions. A people wonderfully created – in the image of the Author. Free to love, free to experience the infinite goodness of the Author. Free to revel in His infinite Love. But above all free. Love cannot be forced and remain love.

We are not the sole owners of broken hearts. No heart suffered such sorrow as Infinite Love rejected. Image bearers rejected the Image Maker. The story’s characters fired the Author to write their own script. Unmatched, searing pain pierced the Author’s heart as the loved jilted the Lover.

Chaos infiltrated beauty. A planet was hijacked and spun out of control. Poverty of spirit supplanted endless joy. Unfulfilled hearts realized the pain of lost love. Without the Author, individual story lines faltered – and failed. Sadness reigned. Darkness descended in seeming endless gloom.

Truth can be stranger than fiction. For in the pained heavens the grieving Author plotted love’s revenge. An awesome revenge that only Divinity could contrive – that only Divinity would contrive. Having lost His loved, the Lover would send His most loved to reclaim His heart’s desire. The rejected Creator would kiss the unfaithful created. Tender mercy in place of deserved destruction. An astonished heaven broke into unbelieving applause. Image bearers would be reclaimed by the Image Maker. Light would once again prevail over darkness. Brokenness would be made whole. Peace would triumph over chaos.

All was silent in the heavens on the chosen night. Angels held their corporate breath. For nine months the Son had been absent, resident in a young girls womb, coming to us not as a king but incognito, just one of thousands of children that would be born on a lonely planet that night – into the darkness that our word had become. Placenta covered the Son of the universe arriving to claim back His beloved: this time, one by one, heart by heart. Tender mercy arriving in disguise: one of us, one like us. On that night, the Author personally entered our story.

Such humility our world has never known. A stunning reversal for a world gone astray. A Heart full of love is not easily satisfied. Transcendent goodness longing to give away infinite love, arriving under cover of night in order to “shine on those living in darkness…to guide our feet into the path of peace.” (Luke 1:27).

When an author writes, each character is unique; each has his or her own storyline. We, each have a story – unique, unrepeated, singular. Each story has its own joy, its own pain, its own pathos and unmatched quality. But each shares one singular, astonishing feature. We are made in the Author’s image, and He will not rest until we have invited Him to join in our story.

More astonishing than the script He has authored, the story we celebrate today is that He also wants to enter into your story. This is the most ancient of stories but it is also the most contemporary of stories. The Christmas story is but one chapter in the Author’s divine script. The Author is still writing. And every person who invites Him into their story becomes a separate and unique chapter in His unfinished book. And into each story He brings His light and peace.

“For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.” (John 3:16-17.)

Have you invited Him into your story?

Take time to pray for evangelistic services taking place around our globe today

2011-12-24T01:00:00.000-08:00

Today and tomorrow across all the time zones on our planet, outreach efforts will be taking place to share the message of Christmas and the incarnation. Because Christmas is a unique holiday there is a great deal of interest around it even among those who know little or nothing about Jesus or the gospel.

Just this week, at just one event in Shillong, India, 60 inmates of a local jail gave their lives to Jesus as the Christmas story was told. Multiply that across our globe and the harvest will be great.

Pray for indigenous workers everywhere who will be sharing the story of Christ, often with little or no resources but with hearts full of love for their people. Pray for receptive hearts among those whose lives need the hope of the Gospel and the light of a relationship with Christ. Pray for the persecuted church who are often targeted at Christmas since it is so important to Christians and they are gathered together.

Isaiah writes "The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned...For to us a child is born, to us a son is given and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end (Isaiah 9:2-7)."

Pray that once again, many walking in darkness will see a light, the light of the incarnation and that His kingdom would expand this Christmas eve and Christmas day.

Dear Dad

2011-12-23T10:23:00.000-08:00

We often do not realize that of the seven billion people on our planet, one billion of us are impacted by disabilities, either personally or in our families. How we love, include, treat, care for and honor those with disabilities is a huge indicator of our understanding of the Gospel. All people are made in God's image, all are equally important to Him and all have an equal purpose in His plan. We acknowledge those truths by treating those with disabilities as Jesus did and loving them as Jesus did.

Longtime friends of ours, Barb and Tim are living with the realities of Tim's struggle with ALS. She is a great writer and this recent blog of hers caught my eye because it captures the heart that all of us ought to have in caring for those with disabilities. It is a heart of love and thanks in the midst of tough realities.

Dear Dad~

I miss you so much just now. It's been more than 10 years sinceyou've gone to see Jesus. I certainly do wish there were times when Icould still talk to you. Especially now.

When you were here on earth with me, we never took the time totalk about your handicap. You never told me what it was like to go throughhaving a major stroke. You never told me what it was like when all of a suddenhalf of your body refused to work anymore. You never told me what it was liketo try parenting your kids after such a tragic event. I am finding myself in aplace where I sure could use your advice on those things!

For all these years, I've always thought God put me in my placein our family for a couple different reasons. First, I thought I was there tobe your incentive to get better. After all, I was only two years old whenyou suffered your stroke. You had to get better in order to take care ofme and to play with me, your baby girl. (A little self-centered purpose, Isuppose.)

I have also come to think of my place in our family as God'sprotection of sorts. Knowing how much everyone else in the family kind of fellapart after your stroke, I have, again selfishly, thought God placed me solate after Kris so that I would be spared that pain. I was so much younger thatI wasn't even aware really of what was happening in our family. I was notpulled into the whirlwind of chaos that they were sucked into.

So as I grew up, everything after your stroke was normal to me.To all my sisters and brothers, everything had dramatically changed. There wasa "before" and an "after". But not for me. It was normal tosee you limp as you walked. It was normal that your left arm was always in asling. It was normal to watch Mom comb your hair and clip yourfingernails. It was normal to have someone cut your meat for you. I neverthought twice about any of those things.

But, Dad, I have realized that though my first thoughts arestill correct, I must now add another reason for my place in our family. Godput me in our family, growing up with handicap as normal so that now I am justreverting back to my "normal" to comb Tim's hair, to clip his nails,to feed him his lunch, to help him dress and undress. It was God's way ofpreparing me for what's happening right now.

And I also need to add to the long list of things you taught me:You taught me how to help people in a way that is compassionate and preservestheir dignity. It really is no big deal for me to help Tim on a daily basis -and it is thanks to you for that. Growing up around a handicap that seemednormal was one of your biggest gifts to me. Thanks for not talking about it.That kept it just a normal part of my daily life.

And can you thank our Father in heaven for me too? Not only didhe place me in our family to help you recover from your stroke and to protectme from the aftermath of that stroke, I have just realized that he placed me inour family to prepare me for the journey I am walking right now. It's trulyamazing how something so tragic so long ago can be used in such a powerful wayalmost 40 years later! He really is an amazing God that way.

I am envious that Tim will join you so much sooner than I will.Be sure to show him the best fishing spots you've found so far. It wouldn'tsurprise me if you have already met Tim's grandpa and you're planning yourfirst fishing trip together for when he joins you! I miss you so much, but amhappy that you are hanging with Jesus!

Love you,

Your little girl

If you would like to follow this couples journey, you may do so at Life Stitches. I honor those like Barb and Tim who walk the path of suffering with dignity and faith.

What can we learn from the incarnation?

2011-12-22T01:00:00.000-08:00

We love the story of the incarnation and few stories have been told more ways in more places with more people. I never tire of it for it is a story of hope that is renewed every time it is retold - the Creator becoming one of the created so that the created could once again know the Creator! Here, Hope trumps all the darkness of our world in the person of Jesus.

Here is the question for us to ponder: what do we learn from the incarnation, the invasion of our world by a loving God, that can inform our lives and our interactions with others?

When the Apostle John writes, "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us (John 1:14)," he captures the heart of incarnation: God in Jesus came to live with us, entering into our flesh, subject to the frailties of the human condition including sadness, pain, joys, betrayal, illness and even death.

In coming to live with us, Jesus left the comfort of heaven for the realities of a fallen earth. We follow the example of Jesus whenever we enter into the lives of others to bring love, hope, help and Him. We follow His example when we leave our comfort zones for the sake of others, being willing to get into the mess of the lives of others (as Jesus did with us), willing to suffer the inconveniences and even the pain of others. We follow His example when we "give ourselves away" to those who need a friend, some grace, unconditional love and acceptance.

The joy of what Jesus has done for us is heightened when we become Jesus to others. Every time we do, we live out the blessing of the incarnation. We received it. Lets give it away.

Jesus: the intersection of grace and truth

2011-12-21T08:15:00.000-08:00

If someone were to describe you what would they say? How would you like the job of describing Jesus? How does one even begin to comprehend Him?

The Apostle John, described the incarnation and the incarnate One this way. "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth (John 1:14)."

The One and Only, from the Father - full of grace and truth. The emissary of the unseen God bringing the two things that the world, and each of us, need most: grace and truth.

Truth is in short supply on our globe. The perfect world created by God was hijacked by Satan and his minions and the loss of truth was one of the consequences of the fall. In its place, Satan and fallen mankind manufactured versions of truth that suited them: False gods that promise everything but cannot deliver anything, but even more ironic, gods that leave us emptier than before. Everyone is chasing some version of "truth" but Jesus came with the Truth about God, man, sin, salvation and how to find fullness of life. Jesus brought truth and Jesus is truth! Want to know truth? Get to know Jesus!

The truth deficit brought about by the fall brought with it all the brokenness that we face personally and corporately in our world. And then comes Jesus, full of grace! All of the unfathomable grace of God in Jesus. Grace to cover the brokenness of tax collectors, prostitutes, the sick and lame, the rich and poor - you and me. Forgiveness with restoration. Grace that we can share with others as the grace of Jesus overflows from our lives.

Jesus is the perfect intersection of grace and truth - and therefore our deepest needs. Neither is complete without the other. Together, they change the trajectory of our lives forever. As you think about the incarnation, think grace and truth. Celebrate these two gifts of the Father to us.

Who threatens us and who are we envious of?

2011-12-20T07:04:00.000-08:00

Two interesting questions to ponder. Who are we threatened by and who are we envious of? The answers to both reveal a great deal about us, our hearts and our insecurities.

Usually we are threatened by someone who we perceive to have more influence and power than we do. Thus the pastor who resents a strong layman in the congregation who others look up to. Or a former leader in a church whose influence has waned and is threatened by other strong leaders who have emerged. Those in the secular workplace know all too well the subtle power struggles that take place as people jockey for influence and power - against others who are a threat to their influence and power. Even the closest disciples of Jesus were not immune to these petty jealousies.

Another way of framing the question is "Who am I envious of?" Usually we are envious of those who see more "success" than we do, by whatever measure we are using, and those who have more perceived favor and status in the eyes of others.

Those who we are threatened by or envious of are important to us. Not because of who they are but because of what they reveal about the state of our hearts, motivations and drive. In short, they reveal deficiencies in our hearts and psyche! They reveal an incompleteness in us that must be made up for by competing with others and often hurting others in order to build ourselves up. For the only way to trump those who threaten us or we are envious of is to outdo them - to demean them in order to elevate us!

And here is the heart of the matter. This is all about us! It is not about our calling or humbly serving where God has us. It is about pride and personal elevation which inevitably means someone else suffers at our expense. The Apostle Paul never played this game and he never competed with those who competed with him. In fact, he ignored those who he called "super apostles" who were jockeying for power and influence and he simply stayed the course of the ministry God had called him to which was harder, more costly with fewer accolades of others but played to an audience of One. He knew that at the end of the day, it was God's evaluation of his life that counted, not the evaluation of others.

Pay attention to those you are threatened by or envious of. The message is not about them but about us!

Leadership waste in the church

2011-12-19T06:15:00.000-08:00

OK, let's talk about an elephant in the church! I often hear pastors say that they need to train leaders and I often scratch my head because most pastors are not great leaders. That does not mean that they don't lead because by definition their job is one of leadership. But often the best leaders in the congregation are not pastors but men and women in the church whose gifting and jobs are leadership in the secular arena. But because they are not trained pastors, somehow, they don't qualify to lead in the church.

The greatest waste of leadership capital ever is found in the local church where leaders are not released to use their leadership gifts by pastors who are threatened by those who have stronger leadership gifts than themselves.

I often talk to leaders who feel disenfranchised in their own church and who leave those churches for a place where their gifts are desired and used. And I think, what a waste! It is a loss for them, for the congregation and most of all for the kingdom. And I have to believe that Jesus cares a lot since He is the Lord of the Church and gave the leadership gifts!

Because of our mission, there should be no place where collaboration is more common than in the local church. Not competition but collaboration for the sake of the expansion of the gospel. This kind of collaboration, however requires pastoral staff who are not threatened by strong leaders in the congregation. In fact, rather than being threatened, they see that leadership capital as a bank of opportunity that can be tapped for greater ministry results. Rather than fearing strong leaders they embrace them and mobilize them for ministry impact.

I believe that God will hold Christian leaders accountable for the extent to which they empower all of God's people to use their ministry gifts in the church. That includes leadership gifts. I know many wonderful leaders who are not invited to use their leadership gifts in ministry because of the fear of ministry leaders who see other leaders as a threat to them.

Lets be real. We all have fears and we are all vulnerable to insecurities. But we must always remember that ministry is not about us but about the people of God being released for maximum ministry impact. Pastors may be insecure about their leadership acumen. Lay leaders may be insecure about their theological acumen. Together, however, they make a powerful combination.

A better you, courtesy of the Holy Spirit

2011-12-18T10:04:00.000-08:00

Most of us would like a better version of us. I grow tired of my impatience with others knowing how patient God is with me. I desire a deeper joy, knowing that God has given me so much. I wish to eradicate unkindness from my vocabulary and attitudes having experienced the kindness of Jesus on a daily basis. I want harshness in any form to give way to gentleness and my tendency to act in ways that hurt myself or others to give way to self control. And, for peace to reign in my heart regardless of my circumstances. Yes, I want a better version of me.

For Christ followers, that better us is not only possible and within reach, it is the direct gift and work of the Holy Spirit at work in our lives. "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)." These qualities that make for a better us are a direct derivative of our relationship with Jesus. As we focus on our relationship with Him, this fruit is a natural result in our lives. When I say I want to be a gentler, kinder, version of me, what I am really longing for is more of the Holy Spirit in my life.

What is interesting about the Spirit's fruit is that it is the opposite of our natural self which is self centered and selfish. These qualities which come directly from God to us are other centric and directly mirror the graciousness that God has for us - undeserved as it is. In fact, the best way to understand what these qualities look like in real life is to read the Gospels and meditate on the life of Jesus. My greatest desire would be that people look at me and say, "He is like Jesus." That, by the way is the Holy Spirit's plan for our lives as well. Thus He shares His character with us.

We can be proactive in this process. Paul reminds us that "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other (Galatians 5:24-26)." The more we walk with the Spirit, the more of His character becomes our character. The old swapped for the new!

The greatest gifts we could give one another this Christmas, and every day, are the fruit of the Spirit in our words, actions, interactions and attitudes. In doing so, we become Jesus to one another and give what all of us desperately need. In the process, we become a better version of us, courtesy of the Holy Spirit.

Give the gift of HOPE this Christmas

2011-12-17T15:27:00.000-08:00

Give the gift of

HOPE

this Christmas

After all,

Jesus is all about

HOPE

Abuse in the church - when the bully is the pastor

2011-12-17T10:53:00.000-08:00

As I watch the news of Penn State and Syracuse the thought that keeps running through my mind is "why did otherwise reasonable people either ignore, give a pass or not confront behaviors which it now seems were egregiousness and serious? There are probably several reasons: the perpetrators had power; people didn't want to assume that these upstanding citizens could be doing these things, and a simple failure of courage!

Let's take that same question and apply it to the church! Why do pastors get away with behaviors that would otherwise be forbidden even in the secular workplace? Here are some of the behaviors I have observed over the past 20 years of consulting with local churches and I am talking about evangelical churches here.

Pastors whose insecurities cause them to divide people into two camps. Those who agree with them and are therefor their friends and those who disagree with them and are therefore their enemies. Enemies are ignored, shunted to the side and marginalized. How does that square with loving the flock?
Pastors who use threats to get their way. Threats as blatant as "I could fire you if you don't do this" or "I will resign if you push me on this." "I don't care if I get zero votes on a confidence vote, I am not leaving and will take the church down with me if I have to."
Pastors who use inappropriate sexual language or touch and even flirting with the opposite sex in both public places and private situations (counseling).
Pastors who are intimidated by other strong leaders (who are seen as a threat to their leadership) and make it hard for them to serve in the church.
Pastors who are unaccountable with their time. When they are away from the church, no staff members has any idea as to where they are or how to reach them.
Pastors who will not allow their boards to speak into their lives, specific situations that have occurred, conduct executive sessions of the board or give them an annual review. This sends a loud message, "I don't have to be accountable to you."
Pastors who hire staff without due diligence, don't mentor or coach them on a regular basis and fire them if they become a threat to them or don't perform to their standards. This is a user mentality toward people.
Pastors who leave their church angry, deliberately dividing the congregation on their way out.
Pastors who triangulate relationships to form alliances against others whether other staff members, board members or congregants. Not only wrong but a sign of poor emotional intelligence.
Pastors who will take credit for any advance and find scapegoats for any failure.
Pastors who use their "God given authority" to lead as they see fit. After all they are "God's anointed." Again, this ignores accountability and shared leadership.
Pastors who speak ill of board members or congregants even as they become angry if they hear of either group criticizing them.

Fortunately, the vast majority of pastors I work with are wonderful individuals who are deeply committed Christ followers and models of Christian leadership. But when I see behaviors that are out of the pale and ignored, as they were with Penn State and Syracuse, I have to ask myself why? I understand the unregenerate behavior but I don't understand those surrounding the situation who allow it to continue. Where is the board? Where are members of the congregation who see and are grieved?

Often pastors who exhibit these characteristics are simply bullies. They get in the face of anyone who tries to speak to their behaviors which is why boards often back off. But why should a board back off and since when do bullies qualify to be pastors of a local church? I think of the qualifications for elders and deacons in the New Testament and the further comments of Peter on the matter and wonder why we allow behaviors that are so contrary to both New Testament teaching and the model of Jesus.

Reality Distortion Fields

2011-12-17T10:39:00.000-08:00

The phrase was coined by members of Steve Jobs teams when he wanted to convince them that something they all knew to be false was indeed true. They would quietly whisper, "beware of the reality distortion field, don't get caught in it." Steve, with his powerful, over the top persuasive abilities was able to convince a lot of people a lot of things a lot of the time and it all fit his version of reality, his reality distortion field.

The truth is that we all have reality distortion fields which allow us to see reality on our terms. Healthy individuals keep those distortion fields to a minimum while unhealthy individuals allow them to grow and expand until they are literally living in an alternative reality - often quiet separated from reality.

Some years ago, I was asked by a pastor and board to determine why he and the board were experiencing so much conflict. I interviewed board members, staff members and finally the pastor himself. He was amazed that people felt the way they did about him as he had been living with a picture of himself that was quite different than the picture others had. His distortion field (the level of distortion between his view and reality) would have caused him to likely lose his job if he had not rectified the problem quickly because it was at the root of the conflict between he and the board and staff.

I have seen reality distortion fields become pathological when an individual becomes so disconnected from reality (yes in ministry) that they actually believe their unhealthy treatment of others is OK and that those they mistreat are actually OK with it as well. Of course, when you do your own inquiry one finds out that this is not the case at all but the defensive mechanisms of the one with a significant reality distortion field protects him or her from the guilt they ought to have for their behavior. Reality distortion fields always provide the perpetrator of poor behavior an alternative explanation which absolves them and places the blame on others.

Usually, reality distortion fields are allowed to grow (often in leaders) because those around them do not have the courage to confront and tell the individual the truth. There is a reason for the lack of courage. These individuals are very hard to get through to. Their defensiveness is massive and they don't want to hear a version of truth that messes with their reality distortion field. However, the logical outcome of their progression into non reality is narcissism where they can justify anything and eventually implode but only after hurting a great many people.

I asked one board whose pastor exhibited these tendencies why they had not done a job review in decades. The answer was that the senior pastor was too defensive and threatened by it so they held off, allowing the senior pastor's behavior to escalate and continue to hurt others. This particular pastor would use threats against those who tried to penetrate his defenses. The board actually thought that if they pushed their pastor he would quit since he had threatened on a number of occasions to do so. Ironically it would have been the best thing that could have happened to the church.

Those who live with reality distortion fields are crazy makers to those around them. They so distort reality that those who live in reality start to wonder if they are somehow going nuts and may even be to blame for the chaos that they see around them! It is like the inmates of an insane asylum convincing the staff that they ought to trade places because it is really the staff who are living with reality distortion fields and not the inmates. If you have ever lived or worked close to one with a reality distortion field you know exactly what I am talking about!

If you have a situation like this in your ministry please deal with it. The longer you wait the more distortion takes place and the more distortion takes place the more people get hurt.

The decision making checklist

2011-12-13T08:39:00.000-08:00

Decision making is an art based on good input and good thinking. In any critical decision the following checklist can be helpful to understand the risks and opportunities in the decision.

1. When does the decision need to be made? My philosophy is to wait until the decision needs to be made before pulling the trigger. The more time I have to "think grey" the more of the implications I can discover.

2. Who will the decision impact? Decision makers often do not think carefully about who will be most impacted by the decision. Be sure you know exactly who will be affected and how?

3. What will the push back be? There is always push back to a critical decision - change is uncomfortable. Brainstorm about the push back you are likely to encounter so that your explanation can answer as many questions up front as possible.

4. What is the upside? Decisions are made because there is some advantage to them. Can you articulate clearly the positive impact that the decision will have for your organization?

5. What are the potential unintended consequences? To the best of your ability, identify the consequences of your decision and even what the unintended consequences might be.

6. Who needs to be consulted? The best decisions are made in consultation with others. Who can speak into your proposed action and bring greater clarity or even alternatives to the table?

7. What is the roll out process for informing people? Process is as important as the decision itself. One may have a brilliant idea but run a bad process leaving people with a bad taste in their mouth regarding the decision. Make sure you know how you are going to process people.

8. Should there be dialogue with the affected people? Once you have your ducks in a row and before the decision goes into affect, is there a forum to dialogue with impacted parties to answer questions and concerns in a non-defensive way.

9. If people have concerns, who should they contact? Make sure there is a place to go with ongoing concerns or questions.

The up side of failure

2011-12-09T09:42:00.001-08:00

We all fail, whether in large or small ways. No one is exempt. We mess up a relationship and it fails. We lose our business and it fails. We get a bad review and feel like a failure. We lead a team that fell apart - failure. A divorce, DWI conviction, being fired from our job...there are many definitions of failure. Sometimes it is true failure and sometimes we just feel like a failure. But what is failure?

At its root, failure is the opportunity for growth! It calls the question on whether or not we will learn from our circumstance whether self inflicted or other inflicted. It is an opportunity to start over and evaluate, re-calibrate, engage in God in a new way and see new life. Failure is not fatal but an opportunity. Moses found this out, as did the apostle Peter and King David or in our time, Chuck Colson.

When failure invades our lives it is time to call a time out! Depending on the source of the failure there is a sense of loss, maybe guilt, and certainly deep sadness. Nothing wounds the human spirit like failure. It is a wound, it hurts and like a wound takes time to heal. It is an opportunity and it will either take us to despair or hope.

There is no time when despair is more easy or hope more comforting than in failure. Do we give up or do we look forward in the knowledge that God's grace is greater than our failure and His sovereignty is not diminished by our circumstances. Understanding His goodness and His greatness is the genesis of hope, however small in the pain of failure. Press into Him and that tiny grain of hope will grow. Chuck Colson will tell you that his failure in politics and subsequent jail term was the very thing that forced him to open his heart to hope, in Jesus. Failure is an opportunity for growth! Out of his Colson's failure came a close walk with God, numerous books and the transformation ministry of Prison Fellowship.

Too often we move through life without much inspection of our path or introspection of our heart. Time outs, when we are forced to confront our own weakness and need is a precious gift. If, we take the route of hope and move closer to Jesus.

Just one thing!

2011-12-08T05:39:00.001-08:00

As one year draws to a close and another one begins we often think about new beginnings. There are usually many things we would like to improve on, do differently, or start doing. This is where New Year resolutions come in and they often don't work well - usually because we complicate things.

The key to change in life is keeping it simple - and focused. Consider asking just one question in four areas of life as you look at next year.

What is the one change I would like to make in my personal life?
What is the one change I would like to make in my spiritual life?
What is the one change I would like to make in my professional life?
What is the one change I would like to make in my family life?

Just one thing in four spheres of life!

Changing one thing and actually doing it is far more powerful than trying to do a bunch of things and not accomplishing it. And one thing multiplied by four can be powerful change or new beginnings.

Oh, one other thing. Don't wait until January one. Start today and by the time the new year kicks in you are already practicing one new thing in four key areas of life.

One thing - just one.

What does God want for you today?

2011-12-08T05:22:00.001-08:00

Take a moment and consider what God wants for you today. We often consider what He wants of us but what does He want for us?

There is no better answer to that question than the blessing that God Himself gave to the priests in Numbers 7:24-26 to pray over the Israelites. This is His wish, His blessing, His commitment to you, His promise to you today.

The Lord bless you and keep you;

the Lord make his face to shine upon you;

and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn his face toward you

and give you peace.

That is an amazing statement from the God of the universe to us. As you walk through your day today, God is going to bless you. His face is turned toward you and offers you peace no matter the circumstances of your life. And He will be gracious to us! Wow!

What more needs to be said? And just so we would get it, He sent His Son to deliver the message personally.

Does your ministry have vision so compelling that people cannot ignore it?

2011-12-06T14:53:00.001-08:00

It was Jim Collins who gave us the new word BEHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal). It is the concept of a vision so compelling, so clear, so focused and so energizing that it cannot be ignored. In fact, by its very nature it draws people in who resonate and want to be a part of it.

This kind of vision is not necessarily about big or expensive. We too often attribute compelling vision as big numbers. Not so. Compelling vision may be to be part of a coalition of churches to together reach every home in a city. Your church size does not matter, but the vision is compelling. It may be to become a congregation known for its love and compassion in the community. It could be to adopt a region of the world where a congregation is committed to bringing the Gospel in a holistic way - a huge challenge that is not dependent on church size.

Compelling vision is a vision that can be articulated clearly, meets real spiritual needs, is other centered rather than us centered, requires significant energy and even sacrifice to accomplish and will positively and significantly impact a group, community or area with the love and message of Jesus. It's mandate is one that cannot be ignored.

Here is a counter intuitive principle. We often think people will be motivated to participate and give and become excited when it is something that benefits them. Actually, for most, the more "other centric" a vision is, the more compelling it is. It calls us to something. It challenges us to participate in what God is doing in big ways. It requires the skills of everyone. It invites us to sacrifice for the sake of something great. It lifts us out of the mundane and calls us to something of eternal significance.

What is your ministry's compelling vision?

Oh, about BEHAGs? Jesus gave us the biggest one ever. It is the great commandment to love one another as He loved us and the Great Commission, to reach our world for Him.

Hope and Grace 2007

2011-12-05T18:39:00.001-08:00

Every December 4 through January 14 since 2007 I daily read the blog www.reachtj.blogspot.com as a remembrance to the hope we have in Jesus and the grace that he extends so freely to us. The blog is the account of my 42 day hospital stay from which I never should have survived - but God gave my family hope and He extended to me the grace of an extension of life for which I am eternally grateful.

The battle between life and death started on December 4 when I entered the hospital unable to breath. They quickly determined that I was in congestive heart failure and had massive pneumonia and a huge pleural effusion (a collection of fluid in the wall of the lung-like having a liter of pop stuck inside your lung wall). What they would not know for a week was that it was MRSA or Methicyllin resistant staphylococcus aureas- a "super bug" pneumonia. This would lead to septic shock, Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome, a failed mitral valve in my heart, high fevers that required ice cooling jackets, the shutting down of some of my organs, heartbeats of 220 or higher without the ability to shock my heart back into rhythm - all this while I was in a coma and on a ventilator. On a number of occasions the doctors gathered the family to prepare them for my imminent death.

Amazingly God gave my wife, Mary Ann, hope two days into this ordeal. Two days later was the day that I told her I believed I was going to die. It was the day that they would put me on a ventilator from which I should not have woken up alive. It was the day that I could barely breath as I felt I was drowning in my own fluids. But two days before that day as she sat by me bed she asked Jesus, "How should I pray?" And God replied in an audible voice (to her), "It will be very close, but T.J. will live." A voice of hope when there was no human hope. A voice of hope that she clung to during the next weeks of a life and death struggle. When the doctors gently told the family there was no hope she stood on the hope God had given her. She was a rock of faith as were my sons Jon and Chip who walked through the dark days with her and became men in the process.

Our family experienced amazing grace during and after those days. Our prayer partners came to pray and love on the family. Friends gathered around and sheltered them in their love. And time and again, God gave His grace when it was needed. One night as my youngest sister was standing by my bed angry with God tired and discouraged, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Immediately she knew that it was going to be OK whether I lived or I died. She turned to see who was there but there was no one. She knew she had been touched by God or an angelic being. On another day, a nurse came in tears to Mary Ann and said through tears, "I was just in T.J.'s room and God gave me a vision of him alive and well!"

Most of all we were blessed through the thousands who prayed for God to do something miraculous and extraordinary. It is the faith and prayers of thousands around the world whom God answered in His sovereignty in choosing to heal my broken heart, clear my lungs, defeat MRSA, septic shock, cool the fevers until the day I walked out of the hospital on January 14, a product of His grace.

God gives us hope in all situations and His grace is with us always. Think back to the situations you have been in where He has shown you His hope and His grace and never forget. Never forget! It is His grace that sustains us day to day, it is His hope that walks with us through the dark nights of the soul that we all experience. Someone asked me, "How do you remember?" One of the ways I remember is to read the blog put up for me daily from December 4 to January 14. It is a month of remembrance for me. On that I will follow until I see Him and can thank Him in person.

I am a walking billboard of God's hope and grace. So are you. Never forget. Always live in thanks for His hope and grace.

http://www.reachtj.blogspot.com/

Accountability, transparency and calendars

2011-12-05T07:25:00.001-08:00

One of the interesting issues in ministry is that there is often very little accountability for how pastors and others in ministry use their time. I have often been in conversations with church staff who are frustrated that they don't know where the pastors they support are or what they are doing when out of the office. Thus for many hours during the week there is no known schedule for the pastoral staff. In one case, the senior pastor was in the office two days a week and the support staff person has no idea what he does the rest of the week. In another case, staff do not have the permission to contact the senior leader when he is out.

On a personal level, lack of accountability is dangerous. On a professional level it is a terrible example to others regarding how accountable we choose to to be. In the professional world such lack of transparency is rarely accepted and where it is, no better an example.

The more transparent we are regarding how we spend our time, the more trust we elicit. When our staff does not know where we are or what we are doing they can legitimately make all kinds of assumptions. When leaders are not accountable for their time, it sends a message to others as to how accountable they should be. When our staff knows how and where we spend out time (and the hours put in) it creates a culture of accountability and transparency.

Transparency and accountability make for high trust. That is why my schedule is available to all my key staff via electronic calendar sharing. I am also always available if someone needs to reach me. I can also view the calendars of the other members of my team. One can even color code their calendars by activity to understand where the key categories of time is spent.

Of course that raises a simple question: Do we even have a calendar or are we just doing life by the seat of our pants? Just like our check books reveal the priorities of our spending, so our calendars reveal the priorities of how we choose to spend our time. If there is no calendar it reveals a low view of how one spends his/her time while a detailed calendar reveals a careful view of time spent.

Time is one of those things that one cannot get back. Our stewardship of how we use that time is an indicator of our desire to live intentionally rather than accidentally. Our transparency with our team regarding our calendar reinforces trust and models healthy accountability.

Group think and courageous interlopers

2011-12-04T06:55:00.001-08:00

It happens on boards, among staff members, in congregations and even among friends: group think. A common opinion or shared course of action even when there is evidence that there is another side, another option or even an elephant in the conversation that is being ignored. But the dynamics of the group and peer pressure prevent people from going there. Sometimes it is easier to just agree and pretend that the elephant is not there.

Enter the interloper - "one who jumps into the midst of things," (Webster) and says, "hmm, wait a minute, what about?, have you thought about?, I think we are possibly missing something here, let's talk about the real issue, there is an elephant we are not willing to discuss so I am going to put it on the table."

This is not an easy role to play and it needs to be played carefully. But it is a necessary role for those who are courageous enough to do it. Disagreeing with group think can be an unpopular role to play and thus needs to be done with grace and humility. But, when there are issues behind the issues that are being ignored for comfort or convenience, someone with courage can do the organization a favor by at least putting it on the table. Once on the table, others may be willing to consider it.

Mature individuals are self defined individuals. They are able and willing to speak their mind without being disagreeable, able to disagree while remaining relationally connected and are not intimidated by being a lone voice with both conviction and humility. They don't have to get their way but they are also not going to ignore issues that are part of the equation. In a word, they are wise without being obnoxious.

Church boards need courageous interlopers from time to time who are willing to press in where others will not go. So do staff teams and even groups of friends. It is not easy but sometimes necessary.

Safety is not our highest value

2011-12-02T03:44:00.001-08:00

Guest writer

Brian Duggan

Itis a testament to God’s grace that He uses broken and severely flawed people tobuild His Church. There are many things we can point to in the church’spast that amaze and dismay…the crusades, slavery, and as often pointed out byyoung people, materialism.

Todayanother value has emerged in the developed-world that isinsidious in its implications. It is that safety and security is one ofour highest goals in life – even a higher value than the spread of the gospel or simply following the call of God on our lives (although we would not admit that).

Whensafety is held as a high value it can trump obedience to God’s directive togo into the world and make disciples, to do ministry in a “bad” area of town,to travel to many parts of our world for ministry purposes or even to riskoffending a friend or neighbor by sharing the Gospel. A focus on safetymeans we buy only the newest car with the most safety features, don’t allowour kids to take risks considered a normal part of childhood a generation agoand we watch documentaries and read magazines that paint the world as adangerous place which reinforces our fears.

Sincethe church is often heavily influenced by its culture, this type of thinkinghas seeped into teaching and preaching, Bible studies, and small groupfellowships. The search for and value of safety becomes a given andpeople who don’t live that way are oftenconsidered foolish.

Godspeaks of safety often in the Bible, but it is in the context of what Heprovides, not what we should pursue on our own. He calls us to seek Himfor our security, to ask Him for safe travel, to step out in faith and dependon His protection. Nowhere does the Bible say that a person of faith isto seek his/her own safety or to decide whether to follow His leading based onhow safe it is. When the Ephesian elders tried to convince Paul not to travel to Jerusalem for safety reasons, he replied to them "Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus (Acts 21:13-14)."

C.S.Lewis described this well in his portrayal of the lion, Aslan (a Christ figure) when hewrote, “He is not safe, but he is good.” In a world where 24/7 news hasto catch our attention to generate advertising dollars, fear sell: stories ofhurricanes, wars, earthquakes, and criminals give hosts something to talk aboutand ads to sell. But when Christians don’t use God-given filters andevaluate what they see and hear in the context of God’s Word, we are at risk ofbeing influenced more by society than by our Father.

Issafety wrong? No. But the pursuit of safety to the detriment ofobedience to God’s call is a tragedy that could have a larger impact onspreading the Gospel than many of the church’s past failings.

Sensitive and insensitive leadership

2011-12-01T15:01:00.001-08:00

Steve Jobs was a genius but I suspect that most of those who have made their way through his long biography left the book fascinated but saying, "I would never work for that guy." His empathy and sensitivity level were in the basement as leaders go and many who worked for him felt used and abused. I love his products but abhor his leadership style.

I think the same could be said for many leaders in the Christian ministry world who accomplish amazing things but leave in their wake disillusioned and wounded people. Like Jobs, they were successful in how we often define success but at a huge cost of individuals who were wounded by them in the process. And in both cases I have to ask myself, is success at the cost of people real success? In fact, it seems to me that success at the expense of people is an oxymoron. It cannot be true success because in the end, ministry is about people.

No leader will be universally popular - that I know personally and understand. It is not the job of a leader to be popular but to lead people toward a common mission. There are times that a leader must make an unpopular decision about a staff member. But, a leader is a steward of those they lead and the using, abusing, and disposing of people, or harsh treatment of staff hardly fits the leadership style of Jesus in the Gospels or reflects Biblical teaching on how we interact and treat others. It truly bothers me deeply when I meet leaders who are users and abusers of those they lead.

The acid test for a leader and for those who watch a leader are these: Is their leadership more about them or those they lead? Is it more about them or the mission they are perusing? In the pursuit of that mission, do they bring people with them or do they leave a trail of victims in their wake? Do they use people or serve people? Do they have empathy for those they lead or are they hard and insensitive when people get in the way of where they want to go? And here is a great question: Would those who have worked for them want to work for them again?

One of the reasons so many individuals leave ministry is that they become disillusioned by working for "Godly leaders" that outsiders look up to but who they have been wounded and abused by. Being violated by those who should have higher standards because they lead in the name of Jesus is deeply wounding. It is truly the dark side of ministry - and the church.

If you are a leader, ponder these questions. If you are courageous, ask those around you how they rate you in those areas. If you don't care, well, leave ministry!

I cannot find good leaders for my church

2011-12-01T09:42:00.001-08:00

It is a common complaint among pastors. However, I believe they are generally wrong. Often the issue is not that there are not good leaders in your church but that the leaders you have are not attracted to serve on your board. Here are some of the things good leaders are not attracted to:

Board meetings that drone on and on with an inability to make clear decisions. Issues that come up time and again after they have already been discussed. Agendas that are about the status quo rather than thinking about the future. Lack of accountability for follow through on decisions that are made. Passive board members. A board with a history of conflict. It is clear that there are elephants in the room that no one is allowed to talk about. Little time for prayer or robust dialogue. An ethos that does not allow for candid conversation about church issues. Lack of a collegial atmosphere.

None of this should surprise us. Good leaders recognize a good leadership culture and they are very good at sniffing out bad leadership cultures and avoid them assiduously.

Good leaders are looking to serve and lead with other leaders who want a healthy, forward looking and results oriented ministry. They love to tackle problems, solve them and move on. They are more focused on the future than the status quo. They value candid and robust dialogue where there are no elephants in the room. They also value their time and want meetings that start and end on time without wasting time on issues that could be decided elsewhere. And they want to do this with a group that is passionate about following the Lord of the Church.

Here is my point. The culture and ethos of your leadership board has a lot to do with whether good leaders want to sign on. On the healthiest boards, leaders don't want to leave. On unhealthy boards they cannot leave soon enough.

What do I really want to know?

2011-11-27T15:20:00.001-08:00

Ask yourself this simple question: What do I really want to know about my personal or leadership strengths and weaknesses? Many of us love to hear about our strengths but not our weaknesses. Yet our weaknesses impact our leadership as much as our strengths and sometimes they actually neutralize our strengths when they negatively impact relationships. On top of this, it is estimated that we overestimate our leadership abilities by about 30% and underestimate our weaknesses by 30% and that is for a healthy leader.

I wrote recently that we have an endless ability to deceive ourselves when that deception allows us to feel better about ourselves. The irony is that those we lead also help us in that deception in that they will rarely tell us what we don't want to know. In other words, they know how candid we want them to be (or not), how open we are to feedback (or not) and what issues they can press into and what issues they must leave unspoken. So the very people who know us the best conspire with us to allow us to blissfully go about our business thinking we are doing well when in fact, everyone but us knows there are issues that if addressed would make us better people and better leaders. Like the emperor with no clothes we are the only ones who don't know the truth!

Truth is an interesting concept, especially when it is about us! We are experts in manipulating truth to fit our version of what we want to think and hear and to minimize what we don't want to think or hear. This is perhaps why introspection is avoided and why we find it so hard to acknowledge our shadow side. Yet, truth is the foundation of personal freedom because the better we know ourselves, good and bad, the healthier we are personally and the healthier our leadership. Truth avoidance eventually catches up with us and can damage both ourselves and those around us.

The greatest barrier to knowing and hearing truth about ourselves is our defensiveness. The greater our defensive mechanisms the less we will understand ourselves as those mechanisms not only keep us from hearing others but from acknowledging our own stuff to ourselves. I have known unapproachable leaders who have no idea how damaging their defensive mechanisms are to their leadership. Defensiveness by definition prevents us from hearing, from receiving feedback or even from acknowledging our own inner knowledge about ourselves. It allows us to deceive ourselves. We essentially lie to ourselves!

There are things about me that I don't like. My lower nature can be very low. I don't like my shadow side. I wish I had only strengths and not weaknesses. With every passing year I am more aware of what I am not in many areas of life. That very awareness, however, is the key to growth which only comes with truth. Truth is the pain or discomfort we experience on the way to a healthier us and to healthier leadership.

So here is the question. Do we want to conspire with others to deceive ourselves or conspire with others to become a better me and a better leader? Our invitation to others to be candid with us and our commitment to tell truth to ourselves is the key. Learning to lower our defenses and value the discomfort of truth allows others to speak into our lives and us to value introspection.

Have you ever wondered what the days leading up to the incarnation were like in heaven?

2011-11-27T08:13:00.001-08:00

Have you ever wondered what the days leading up to the incarnation were like in heaven? Certainly the angelic hosts knew what was up as they would play a part in the story. Were they in awe (or perhaps disbelief) that the creator was now to become a creature? The one who created creation was now to become a part of that creation?

And what about the Trinity? For all of infinite time they had been one in three and now that unity would be disrupted in a way it had never been before. Soon Jesus would be talking to the Father through prayer rather than the living with Him as One. How did they process the new reality that was about to come?

And Jesus! What did He think about taking on the flesh of those who He had created, going from Spirit to human form not only for thirty three years but forever - identifying for eternity future with those He had created? Moving from the splendor of heaven to the squalor of Bethlehem. How did He process the fact that His life would end in death with the Father's face turned away?

And the Holy Spirit! Knowing that after the resurrection of Christ, He would from that time on take up residence in every one who called themselves a Christ follower. Infecting every community, workplace, home and situation where those Christ followers lived, worked and travelled with the righteousness of God and heaven.

What words passed between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit regarding the imminent defeat of the evil one who had thrown a perfect creation into disarray and brought so much pain, suffering and heartache into a world hijacked from perfect goodness to grinding evil? What kind of pain had the Godhead suffered watching the insanity of a world gone wrong? Knowing what was intended and how humanity had become inhumane.

As the time of the incarnation drew nearer, did heaven become quiet? Were the angelic hosts peering over the balcony of heaven watching in disbelief for what was going to happen? They certainly could not imagine doing what Jesus was about to do. Were they watching Joseph and Mary who would become mom and dad to God?

One thing is sure. The incarnation changed our planet forever and the eternal destinies of all who embrace Jesus. But it had to have shaken the heavens as well.

My love hate relationship with the Christmas season

2011-11-26T09:34:00.001-08:00

I admit to having a love hate relationship with the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Don't get me wrong - I love Christmas. It evokes in me memories that go back as far as my mind can remember, all pleasant. And the gift, miracle, and incomprehensible nature of the incarnation is so amazing that just thinking about it in all its dimensions puts an overload on the neurons in the brain. It is truly a wonderful time of the year. And then there is family time: I look forward to having my new grandson in my home for a few days, his parents and my younger son and girlfriend. The tiny house will ring with laughter and rich conversation.

Nor am I a scrooge about giving gifts although in recent years Mary Ann and I have no longer given gifts to one another but simply enjoyed the season. What do we really need at this stage of life? But I do enjoy giving gifts to friends and family. Generally however, you will not find me anywhere near a mall at this time of the year because my tolerance for crowds is limited and the meaning of Christmas has so little to do with the commercial holiday it has come to be where retailers bet their whole year on making money in the period between Thanksgiving midnight and December 31st (ah the post Christmas mark downs).

This is where the love/hate thing kicks in. I love Christmas, as I love Easter morning. But I keep thinking of Jesus' words that a mans happiness does not exist in the abundance of his possessions and it seems to me that in large part that is what Christmas has become: more possessions, more debt, moving merchandise.

It all seems so incongruent with the God of he universe coming as a peasant baby to rescue a world in darkness and sin. He did not come bearing gifts but the gift of himself, undeserved, unexpected ( by most) and the whole scenario incomprehensible to many. When God gave His greatest gift to us, he gave Himself; His Son. Perhaps the greatest gift we can give in this Christmas season is ourselves to others who are in need. God made it personal, we can make it personal. God did not send a card, He sent a Son. His gift didn't help the economy of Bethlehem as he was delivered in a stable.

We get upset when Christ is taken out of Christmas (Xmas). But perhaps this advent season we ought to think more deeply than that at the amazing gift that was given by an amazing God and make that our focus rather than the commercial holiday it has come to be. Rather it is the event that changed everything for all time from that moment until eternity future.

For to us a child is born

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace

there will be no end.

He will reign on David's throne

and over his kingdom

establishing and upholding it

with justice and righteousness

from that time on and forever.

The zeal of the Lord Almighty

will accomplish this.

(Isaiah 9:6-7)

Don't leave home without it!

2011-11-25T03:06:00.001-08:00

No, it is not a credit card! It is a set of personal values that we have thought deeply about and are committed to and which inform all that we do - everyday.

Either we determine a set of non-negotiables or guiding principles for our lives or we allow the prevailing values of our world to set them for us. Those values are the messages that we hear constantly from the media and from our fellow pilgrims, some good and some deeply flawed. The best values come from a deep understanding of God and His call on our lives. Defining them for ourselves gives us an internal compass that lived out daily keeps us focused, molds our character and commitments and influences those around us. They set the tone for our lives.

Recently one of my fellow ministry leaders shared his personal and leadership values with me that reflect the kind of thinking all of us should do. These are so ingrained in his life and thinking that they are the grid through which he does life and leadership. They are his true north!

Four Key Personal Values

I value total devotion toGod; my chief aim is "to loveGod and enjoy Him forever."

(Phil.1:21: Paul)

I value the truth;facing the truth about myself and, by God's grace, intercepting potential fatalflaws that might destroy my integrity.

(Psalm51: David)

I value right priorities; beinga godly husband, father, and friend.

(Proverbs5:18-22, 18:22)

I value learning; maintaininga learning posture in all of life.

(Exodus33:13: Moses)

Six Key Leadership Values

I value humility; beingled by God before attempting to lead others.

(John21:15-19: Peter)

I value mentoring; havingmen and women in my life to help shape my vision, values, and lifestyle as aleader. (Acts 9:27-28, 11:25-26:Barnabas)

I value leadershipselection; that leaders are both born and made.

(I Ti1:18-19, 4:7-8, 11-12, II Ti 2:2-3, 3:14-15: Timothy)

I value leadershipdevelopment; the development of emerging leaders having great importance inmy life and in the extension of the Kingdom.

(Exodus17:9-14, Numbers 13, Deut. 1:38, 31:1-18: Joshua)

I value authenticity; pursuinghonest and transparent relationships with the people I lead and who lead me.

(ISamuel 18:1-4, 20:1-42, 23:16-18: Jonathan)

I value perseverance;pressing on to finish well as a leader.

(Hebrews12:2, II Ti 4:1-8: Paul)

"Keepyour eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study howhe did it. Because he never lost sightof where he was headed - that exhilarating finish in and with God - he couldput up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever."

(Hebrews 12:2, TheMessage)

The more deeply we think about who God has called us to be and what is important to us the closer we will get to that goal. Leaders will also find that those they lead will take their cues about what matters from them. Thus their commitments, well defined and well lived out influence not only their lives but the lives of those they lead. All of us influence others but first we need to clarify our own values! As you think about the new year coming up, consider clarifying your values or guiding principles if you have not done so.

Unfriend it and End it: Progressive Relationships

2011-11-23T13:32:00.001-08:00

Guest Writer
Michael Johnson

Afteralmost 35 years of marriage, I am amazed that my wife has not unfriended meyet. I have given her plenty of reason to do so. She couldjust unfriend it and end it.

Theelectronic age has radically changed the ease of ignoring others, including anever increasing rapidity of meltdown in relationships. We are now able tocompletely dissolve relationships without even meeting people face toface. We just delete them from our computer screens, our minds, andhearts. That is efficiency! That is progress.

Ithank God that He does not work that way. After 59 years of life, I havegiven Him plenty of reasons to unfriend it and end it. But He does notwork that way. There is no body on God’s ‘I am not speaking to you’list. In fact, God just keeps on talking to me, even when I completelyignore Him.

Oneway He makes sure to do this is He keeps waking me up in the morning, showeringme with health and all of the necessities of life, including many of the gravyitems. This is where the wife comes in. God has chosen to take upresidence in my wife and use her to show His love for me in the many ways sheforgives and forgets. She refuses to unfriend and end. So doesGod.

Eventhough they both have good reason to unfriend me, they refuse to do so,I have given them even better ammunition moment by moment from the pastto the present and even future. But they don’t. God does callme friend, and He refuses to end it.

John 15:15

HenceforthI CALL YOU not servants; for the servant knows not what his lord does: but Ihave called YOU friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I havemade known unto you.

Fear and Faith

2011-11-23T11:48:00.001-08:00

Fear and faith are two sides of the same coin, the first driven by Satan and the second driven by the Holy Spirit. Our world is driven by fear: fear that we will not have enough, of illness, of losing our job, of people who intimidate us and the list could go on and on. Each of us has our vulnerabilities where we carry our own personal fears. Fear can keep us from stepping into all that God made us to be, can keep us from pressing into areas of our lives that need attention, and can cause us to to lie and bend the truth. Fear is the currency of our world and is the driving force behind much advertising (consider the ads for gold and silver).

In a twist of irony, much of our drive for more and more is driven by our fears that we will not have enough. However, the more we have the more we have to worry about losing. I am always sad when those who have plenty cannot let go of it out of fear that they won't have enough. They often live with more fear than those who have little.

In a radically different sense, faith is the currency of God's kingdom. Faith in God's ability to redeem, to provide, to deal with the fears we have and to provide for us our basic needs. The writer of Hebrews says that "without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that the exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him (Hebrews 11:6)." All of the heroes of Hebrews 11 did what they did by faith. Faith that they could trust God, faith that they could follow God and faith in the sovereignty of God.

Think of a typical week. How many times during a week do we make unconscious choices between fear and worry (another word for fear) and faith? Our lives are full of those choices. In fact, think about this: Every worry or fear is a potential faith builder if we choose to simply pray and trust God in that situation. When we get to heaven we are going to be astonished when we think back about our petty worries in the face of the almighty God whose power is unlimited, love unrivaled and storehouse of provision so massive.

Because faith is the currency of God's kingdom, our faith brings God's favor. Hebrews 11:6 above says that "he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear...who by worrying can add a single hour to his life...So do not worry saying, what shall we eat? or what shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew 6:25-34)."

The command "fear not," is the most often repeated command in Scripture. Faith is the currency of the kingdom. The almighty, sovereign God who owns the entire universe says to us, "Trust Me." I know your needs. "Trust Me." Try that with your current worries and remember that every fear and worry is an opportunity to grow your faith and trust. It is that faith and trust that gives us the peace of mind that God promises. It is a direct result of living in faith rather than in fear. We make the choice. God calls us to faith.

Convincing the unconvincible

2011-11-22T09:29:00.001-08:00

Frequently when working with church boards or wider ministry leadership groups there will be one gentleman sitting in the back of the room with his arms crossed, a hostile glare and no matter how much laughter there is in the room, never cracking a smile. He is saying loudly and non verbally, "You cannot convince me to change my mind." He is usually correct and I don't try.

What he illustrates is that there are people in every church or organization who will never be convinced to go where you desire to go. And, since leadership requires us to initiate change to respond to the environment and opportunities around us, you will always have people who don't want to respond if it means change. In fact, there is no conversation with them: their mind has been made up and that is that!

We have various names for people like this. On the change scale, they are called laggards. The scale moves from innovators who initiate change to early adapters who respond to change quickly to middle adapters who take some time to process the change to late adapters who take even longer and finally laggards who are change adverse. Another name for laggards is "squeaky wheels" because not only are they change adverse but they can be loud and obnoxious about it (ever met one in a congregational meeting?).

This is not a judge of character, a mistake we often make. People are wired to respond to change differently and that in itself is neither right or wrong although attitudes like the one noted above are not always very gracious or helpful.

What do you do with the unconvincible? Love them but don't try to convince them. Rather you appeal to the people who will respond to change if given a valid reason and a value that is higher then their resistance to change. The unconvincible are unconvincible. It is the convincible who are your audience. Appeal to them and they will go with you if you make a reasonable case for the proposed change.

In any change process, remember that the loud voices do not necessarily reflect the majority of the group. Often they represent a small minority of laggards but their voices can be intimidating. Don't be intimidated. Run a good process of dialogue and communication and if you will likely gain the majority of folks. In the process don't marginalize the laggards but recognize that their resistance to change usually comes from how they are wired, not bad character. In fact, if you love them, they will often be your most loyal supporters even when resistant to change. Listen to them, love them and stay connected to them relationally and they will usually love you back.

Our unlimited capacity for self-deception

2011-11-21T07:38:00.001-08:00

Humans have an unlimited capacity to deceive themselves about themselves and others. Often that self deception is our personal spin control not only to make ourselves look better to others but even to ourselves. It can be conscious or unconscious.

Robert Trivers writes this in his new book, The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human life. "We deny the truth to ourselves. We project onto others traits that are in fact true of ourselves - and then attack them. We repress painful memories, create completely false ones, rationalize immoral behavior, act repeatedly to boost positive self-opinion, and show a suite of ego-defensive mechanisms (p. 2)."

In other words, we have an amazing capacity to subvert truth to fit our preferred version of reality. It is directly tied to the sinful human condition and reflective of the truth Paul made in Romans 3:10ff where he says "There is no one righteous, not even one;" and goes on to describe the fallen human condition.

Consider instances where you are trying to get to the bottom of a conflict. Explanations of individuals on both sides make logical sense at first blush. Both sides blame the other and exonerate themselves. Of course, both cannot be true and upon further examination it becomes clear that both parties have constructed a view of reality - and of the other party - that makes them look innocent and the other look guilty. Clearly there is spin, reconstruction of reality and self deception going on. All of us are capable and all of us deceive ourselves in some areas of our lives.

We have all met people who were self deceived and particularly in conflict situations I have a healthy skepticism of what I hear until I have heard all sides. It is easy to listen to one party whose explanation makes all the sense in the world and come to conclusions that are erroneous because of their ability to spin their version of truth. In conflict situations, always keep an open mind until you have heard from all sides.

There are also people who literally live in an "alternative universe" and have such a skewed version of reality that they are disconnected from seeing how their own actions, attitudes and conclusions hurt other people. They may divide people into camps, those who are for them and those who are against them and fully believe that they are right in spite of any rational attempts to convince or show them otherwise.

This is pathological in nature but it is also an extreme version of self deception. Attempts to help them see an alternative reality are often fruitless because their personal defense mechanisms of self-deception are so strong. Often it is hiding deep insecurities and the self-deception is a way of coping with and covering those insecurities or unresolved issues. Unfortunately, that self-deception is projected onto others who are often hurt in the equation.

The most important questions we can ask, however, is about where we deceive ourselves. Where do we construct personal rationalisms for behaviors, habits or sin in order to allow us to continue those unhealthy practices and still feel good about ourselves? Where do we stretch the truth, accomplishments, or righteousness in order to try to look better to other people?

Why is this important? First, because truth matters and the more truth we understand about ourselves the healthier we are. Second, because self-deception unchecked leads to a life of untruth or lies which can become second nature if we allow it. Third, because our own self-deception is harmful to us and often harmful to others.

God is a God of truth and we are easily deceived. It is why David prayed, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24). It is God who helps us understand the inclinations and deceptions of our own hearts as we develop the discipline of introspection and evaluation on our part.

The otherness of God

2011-11-17T05:56:00.001-08:00

God is our Father, abba. He is our friend. He is the One who is with us at all times (Emmanuel). He is our comforter, our counselor, and provider. He is personal as we learned in Jesus, approachable, and our help in times of trouble. Nothing can separate us from His presence and love. No situation is beyond His ability to intervene.

God's character is amazingly complex and beyond our ability to even start to comprehend. And one of the most challenging aspects of who He is is His holiness, His absolute otherness, His incomprehensible righteousness and goodness. So holy and righteous that Moses could not gaze on His face and after Moses spent time with God, his face glowed!

We rightly focus on the personal nature of our relationship with God as He made Himself approachable and understandable in Jesus. But we would do well to reflect regularly on His Holiness, greatness and otherness because it puts in perspective our own desperate need for Him and the greatness of our God compared to us.

The book of Job is instructive. Job and his friends wax eloquent on God, his character and purposes - some of it true, some of it badly flawed - sure that they understood Him and could speak on His behalf. But all of that "wisdom" is put into its proper perspective when God chooses to speak. His first words put in perspective the difference between God and man: "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words of knowledge?" (Job 38:1-2) and proceeds to ask a series of questions that leave Job mute until the Lord is finished. All Job can say in return is "I know that you can do all things; no plans of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge? Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things to wonderful for me to know' (Job 42:2-3)."

What Job is humbly and abjectly acknowledging is that he knows so little compared to God. Our understanding and wisdom is so massively finite while His is so majestically infinite! As someone has rightly said, "There is a God and He is not us!"

The chapter I often visit to remind me of God's greatness is Isaiah 40. "To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal? says the Holy One. Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing (Isaiah 40:25-26)."

Why does the greatness of God matter? The better I understand His greatness and holiness the more profound my humble worship. The more I understand His sovereignty over the affairs of history the more I can trust Him in my journey. The greater my understanding of Him, the more I understand the smallness of me. The greater I understand the smallness of me, the more I understand my need for Him. The more I comprehend his holiness the more I understand my sinfulness and the amazing grace He has given me.

Understanding God's greatness changes everything! And that is when the fact that He has made us family becomes so amazingly profound.

Missions and child protection

2011-11-16T09:22:00.001-08:00

The Pen State scandal and the recent issues faced by New Tribes Mission remind us of the critical importance of ensuring that ministries do everything they can to protect the minor children under their care. Many churches in the United States have a way of vetting those who work with children but mission organizations may not always be aware of their liability with short term teams coming out, or with their own staff.

For example, orphanages or kids ministries in the majority world can be targets of opportunity for pedophiles as they know that there may be less scrutiny than in the west. In addition, in any given year, tens of thousands of kids and adults from churches in the US go abroad to work with children internationally. The question is whether mission agencies take appropriate measures with those who will have contact with children on those trips.

Suggestions:
One, require a background check such as a local church would do for those who will be working overseas with minors - either missionary kids or local children.

Two, before the event, train the adults and children involved in the procedures you have in place to prevent any abuse or opportunities for abuse. Most local churches have such procedures in place that you can borrow from. A best practice would be a mission wide procedure for training those working with minors.

Three, have a zero tolerance policy for mission staff or those working as volunteers. If an incident occurs, report it immediately to both the immediate supervisor and a senior leader. The reason you report it to both a senior leader and the immediate supervisor is to ensure that it is not covered up. If it involves a short term team member, that member should immediately be flown home. If an allegation is made against someone on staff, they must immediately be removed from all contact with minors and if proven they should be removed from the mission. Pedophiles are highly likely to re-offend and no ministry can take that chance. In addition, ensure that the intake process for full time missionaries includes testing for personality disorders and pathology. Tests like the MMPI can save you a lot of pain by keeping the wrong people from going to the field in the first place.

Four, never cover up an offence of pedophilia. The greatest tragedy of the New Tribes episode is that they chose to protect offenders, even leaving them in place or transferring them to other schools. Even those they called home were not held accountable. This allowed, like it appears at Penn State, for the abuse to continue. Protecting the abuser virtually guarantees further victims.

Five, take responsibility for helping a victim get help. The victim is not the individual who offended but the individual they violated. It is amazing to me that in both ministry and places like Penn State there was a greater protection of the violator than the victim. This is a huge violation of trust - as New Tribes discovered and Penn State will discover. Hold the accuser responsible, don't cover up and do all you can to get the victim help.

Minor children must be protected in every way we can from those who would abuse them and cause them a lifetime of emotional trauma. Does your mission have safeguards in place?

Who is rich?

2011-11-15T07:58:00.001-08:00

There is a lot of discussion among politicians about the rich today. Of course no one seems to know how to define who is rich and who is not. Usually those who have more than us are rich and we are not. And there is always someone who has more. As I suggested in yesterday's blog, in a consumer society we start to believe the messages we are constantly bombarded with that wealth is the secret to satisfaction and happiness. I actually agree that wealth is a secret to happiness - it is all in the definition of wealth.

As an aside, 91% of our world lives on $10,000 a year or less and 54% of our world lives on $3.00 a day or less. So that puts wealth in perspective for most of us. By that definition I am wealthy - and so are most of my readers.

Financial wealth is nice but it won't bring happiness. Dollars are not the true definition of wealth. If it were true, only wealthy individuals would be happy and the more they have the happier they would be. We all know that is not the case. For many there is an inverse correlation between financial wealth and happiness precisely because the expectations that financial wealth can deliver satisfaction is an empty promise.

Want to get truly wealthy? I do! The Apostle Paul actually tells us how. He tells us "to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to generous and willing to share (1 Timothy 6:18)." In other words, give yourselves away, give your time and energy away and generously share what He has given us with others.

The result? "In this way (we) lay up treasure for (ourselves) as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that (we) may take hold of the life that is truly life (1 Timothy 6:19)." Here is the irony, in giving ourselves away and in being generous we not only put deposits into our future life in heaven but we "take hold of life that is truly life" in this life.

Both Solomon and Paul tell us that God "richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment (1 Timothy 6:17)." But enjoying what God has given does not take place when we hold on to it but when we are generous with it. And generosity can happen if we make $10,000 a year or ten million a year. It is not how much we have but it is what we do with what we have.

In politics today it is popular to tell the millionaires and billionaires that they should be more generous. In the Kingdom, God asks all of us to be generous. And ironically, the more generous we are the more we actually enjoy the provision God gives us. Good deeds, generosity and a willingness to share is life giving to us, while holding on to it is life taking and draining. It also stores us treasures in heaven where we will spend eternity rather than 80 plus years. Which bank account makes more sense?

A singular question

2011-11-15T06:55:00.001-08:00

We live in an economic system that thrives by convincing us that we do not have enough, need better, need more, need new. With Thanksgiving upcoming we enter into the most intense (insane?) season where all the forces are designed to convince us that the glitter of those gifts will make us happier, more fulfilled and somehow more productive and effective (aah, my technology).

Here is the question! Am I content with what God has given to me today? Are you content with what God has given you today? Or, do we believe that his provision today is inadequate? In which case, we are suggesting that God does not give us our "daily bread."

Contrast our inner struggles (most of us have them) about whether we have enough with Paul's attitude. "For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:11-13)."

What was Paul's secret? Why could he be content in whatever situation he found himself in? Is it possible for you and I in a day when more and better screams at us everywhere we go. Where someone else always has more than us?

I think the secret is found earlier in this passage where Paul says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7)."

Paul's secret is not that he has all he may want. His secret is that he can present his requests to God who can and will meet his needs. And in sharing those needs with God, he could live with a peace that transcends anything our world could ever understand about contentedness and satisfaction because it is divinely given. Paul had needs as we have needs. He probably had desires as we have desires. But his attitude of thanksgiving for what God had given and the ability to share his needs with God gave him a peace that transcends all understanding. Thus his contentedness - in whatever circumstance he found himself.

There is no better time to grow our thanksgiving and peace and contentedness than in the Christmas season. Are you and I content today? It is a great gift to live with divine contentedness.

Living well and dying well

2011-11-14T02:23:00.001-08:00

This morning I received news that a good friend of mine and a ministry leader in Chicago had passed into the arms of Jesus on Saturday night. His had been a hard battle with colon cancer over the past several years and he died in the loving arms of his wife, his hand being held by his daughter.

Glen lived well! He had given his life to the urban poor and racial reconciliation for decades, being on the forefront of that hard work before the church in the United States was engaged. He and his family walked the walk as they lived in the neighborhood in which they worked. As a white leader, he teamed with an African American leader to forge a new way of thinking about what it meant for whites and blacks to work and worship together for Jesus in the days after the race riots in Chicago, a ministry that continues to this day. In every way, Glen lived well.

It was not an easy walk, including the death of his adopted son in recent years and numerous challenges that come when one is pressing into Satan's territory. Through it all, Glen displayed a kind demeanor, a deep sense of calling and a tenacity that touched all around him. Glen had a theology of life and ministry which He lived out so very well. Glen never became angry with God even when treatments made life incredibly difficult and his energies depleted. He continued to do what he could and spent time with family and friends even welcoming them when he was at home in hospice.

But Glen also had an understanding of death. He fought his diagnosis with all that he had for the sake of his family and ministry but determined that if this was his time that he would die well - and he did. He understood that life is not all there is, and that in fact, the best was yet to come and once he went on hospice he turned his eyes toward his next chapter and died in peace and dignity.

I spoke to a group of Parish Nurses on Saturday who often minister to those who are dying and they reflected on the difference between the deaths of believers as against non-believers. How peaceful and even holy the moment is when believers take the step into eternal life compared to non-believers.

Having been on the brink of death on several occasions I know a bit of the inner struggle - but I am determined to live well and to also die well. We live by faith and we die by faith. We neither overestimate the value of this life or underestimate the value of life with Jesus. For those of us in the second half it is something to think about. I look at many who have gone before me and am determined that I too want to die well when the time comes, full of gratitude for the life God has given, full of faith in a loving Father and full of anticipation of finally looking into the eyes of the one who made my life what it was - Jesus.

Let's leave a faithful legacy in life, and in how we face death, as all of us do and where the ultimate test of our faith is tested.

Driven leaders and their staff

2011-11-12T04:06:00.001-08:00

One of the chief distinguishing marks of Jesus was his care, love, concern and compassion for people. His ministry was all about people. He always made time for the hurting and troubled and disenfranchised. He came to this planet to seek and to save....people.

It is possible for leaders to become so driven by their mission that they miss the people part! In fact, some leaders are users of people to accomplish their own ends and drive their mission forward at the expense of those who work for them. I know of a well known church, for example that sees massive turnover of its large staff regularly because of the lack of compassion and drivenness of the leader that negatively impacts the very people that support the ministry. His driven nature and success at all costs mentality leaves no room for anyone who does not live up to his standards.

The problem is that it is about the standards and vision and direction of the leader alone rather than a team that works together to accomplish the mission. Leaders who abuse in their drivenness have not developed a team mentality. They are the sheriff rather than the coach.

Driven leaders often hurt people because their focus is so much on success (whatever their definition) that they see those working for them as a means to that success rather than fellow colleagues on a journey of ministry together toward a common goal. It is really about their goal not a common goal. Any time we begin to use people toward our ends we have violated them and have moved away from the example of Christ.

Leaders must always lead and part of that leadership is encouraging their staff to be all that they can be and to maximize the gifting God has given them. Ironically, when leaders put people before mission, the mission is more effectively accomplished because staff are empowered, released and motivated. When the mission comes before the people who must accomplish it, people are often violated in the process.

Healthy leaders put people first. They create healthy teams of empowered individuals who together figure out how to tackle the mission and accomplish the goals of the ministry. It is about us, not me!

Job One of a Leader

2011-11-11T08:37:00.001-08:00

Many ministry leaders miss the single most important factor for success (apart of course from the Holy Spirit). That one factor is the key to charting the right course, staying on that course and seeing everyone go in the same direction. Very simply it is clarity of who you are, where you are going and how you will get there.

The lack of clarity is one of the key reasons that otherwise good ministries stall out, plateau, suffer from multiple silos and disconnected programs and eventually move into decline. It happens to churches and ministries frequently.

My conviction is that the first job of any leader is to provide maximum clarity to those they lead about who they are, where they are going and how they will get there. The second job is to ensure that there is alignment around that clarity and the third job is to ensure that there are results that reflect that clarity. Specifically, there must be clarity on mission (why do we exist?), guiding principles (what are our non-negotiables?), central ministry focus (what do we need to be doing all the time?), and culture (what do we want to leave behind?).

That sounds easy but it is actually takes significant work to define these correctly. Define them right and you will get traction. Define them wrong and you may be chasing after the wrong things. Don't define them at all and you are just hoping that you get to where you want to go which you probably will since the destination is undefined!

Think about this. Without clarity:
-People will go in whatever direction they think they should go.
-You cannot hold people accountable for specific and objective results.
-There is no ministry wide alignment or focus because there is no clear definition.
-People will fill in their own definition of their own clarity leading to multiple visions, directions and silos. You will never have people on the same page!
-There is no unifying vision or common mission.
-You will not attract or retain the best people because they will not be content to give their energies to an undefined goal.
-You never know whether or when you have achieved success.
-Followers become disillusioned because they sense the fogginess of purpose which eventually leads to conflict.
-Someone other than the leader will step into the gap with their clarity and eventually undermine the leadership of the leader (who is not leading).
-You end up with an accidental culture rather than an intentional ministry culture.

Put in that light, the clarity issue clearly becomes critical.

What keeps leaders from getting to clarity for their team, church or organization? For some it is conflict avoidance as defining clarity is inevitably going to create robust dialogue and conflict as to what the clarity should be. For some it is a matter of focus. They are too focused on other things that they miss the main thing. For some it may be a lack of understanding how to get to clarity. (For those in this camp, take a look at my book, Leading From the Sandbox, chapters two, three and four that are all about getting to clarity).

In my role as an organizational leader I consider job one that of providing maximum clarity to those I lead and am the chief evangelist of that clarity. Why? Because I am convinced that the clarity we have around the four key questions of mission, non-negotiables, focus and culture are the very things that are going to get us to the greatest success. There are many things I could do but neglecting this one would cause the whole organization to suffer. On the other hand, the more focused we are on our clarity the greater our success will be.

Clarity is challenging but it is job one of any leader. Miss that responsibility and everything suffers. Get it right and everything else is enhanced.

Church conflict, christian character and the reputation of Jesus

2011-11-10T10:53:00.001-08:00

Church conflict inevitably happens since their populations are made up of "flawed saints." I am currently involved in consulting with a number of congregations walking through conflict and the thing that grabs my attention time after time is that those who claim to love Jesus are quick to damage His bride - the church - when they don't get their way in the church. Here is the irony: many are willing to trash, divide, hurt and engage in unholy conduct in the church (Jesus' most precious possession) and yet claim to love the Lord of the church. It is not compatible, it does not compute and God is not pleased!

I am not saying that important issues in the church must sometimes be addressed, even when it makes others unhappy. However, when our actions, words, attitudes and conduct violates what Jesus has to say about those issues, we have crossed a line into sin. Our cause may be righteous but if our conduct is sinful we are in the wrong and the loser is the church and the reputation of Jesus. Spiritual issues must be dealt with in spiritual ways. When they are not we have crossed a dangerous line.

Many of us have an inadequate view of the place and theology of the church in God's plan. According to Scripture, the church is the bride of Christ. He has placed His whole plan for the salvation of the world at the feet of the church as His chosen instrument to reach the world. Further, He loves the church and members of the church are members of "His body." As His bride, His reputation is wrapped up in the conduct of the church. Trash the church and you trash His reputation. Divide the church and you divide His body. Be careless about preserving the unity of the church and you are playing careless about His bride.

Think about this: if someone violated your children or tried to destroy or hurt your family you would hold them responsible for the damage they inflicted. Why do we think Jesus is any less grieved and angry when people are careless about their conduct in the church that results in damage to His family? And to make it worse, it is members of His family hurting His family! To top it off, it is people He redeemed who are hurting others who He redeemed.

The reputation of Jesus is either lifted up or brought down by the conduct of His church. One of the greatest proofs of His transformation in our lives is our ability to disagree with one another while continuing to love one another and refusing to hurt each other in the process. Acts 15 and the council of Jerusalem gives us a good example of Christian leaders working out disagreements while retaining their Godly character. There was robust dialogue which resulted in conflict being resolved in a godly way. However, when our disagreements result in sinful behavior toward one another we are not only trashing each other but we are trashing our Lord - strong words but true.

When dealing with conflict in the church we ought to ask several key questions:
One: How do we address the issue without hurting the bride?
Two: Does my conduct in any way move away from the christian character I have been called to?
Three: What other Godly individuals can we call in to help us negotiate our issues when we come to an impasse or are we afraid of accountability?
Four: Are we together living out the teaching of Philippians 2:1-5, along with the example of Christ?
Five: Am I coming at this issue from a spirit of humility or pride?
Six: Do I have bitterness and anger in my heart toward anyone on the other side?

Any church engaged in conflict needs to think deeply about these words of Paul. "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also the the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:1-5)."

What gets pastors into trouble with their congregation

2011-11-09T08:02:00.000-08:00

Pastoring today is one of the most challenging jobs on our planet. You have as many expectations as you have parishioners, there are strong opinions on almost everything, church unity is easily disrupted and spiritual battles are always being fought.

All of that is true but it is also true that pastors can cause pain for themselves if they do not pay attention to a set of core disciplines or practices. Those non-negotiable core disciplines include the following:

One: Not putting adequate time into message preparation. Yes I know that the seminary lingo that one should put an hour into every minute of speaking is generally impossible and that the bar on preaching has been raised dramatically in the past three decades as good preaching and teaching has become available to anyone who looks via radio and the Internet.

However, when I hear complaints regarding preaching it is almost never that their pastor does not live up to some well known and gifted speaker. Rather it is that they do not preach messages fully rooted in Scripture and applicable to the real issues of life. Our people will give us great grace in not being the greatest preacher in the world but they will not forgive us for not rooting our messages solidly in God's Word and making its application to real life clear. Preaching rooted in God's word has power regardless of the skill of the speaker as God's Word changes lives. Pop theology and psychology does not change lives - the Word does.

Two: Not building strong team among staff and volunteers. Disunified staff or lack of alignment of staff and key leaders causes lack of unity and alignment in the church. Too many pastors see the job of building a strong team as an afterthought rather than a central part of their role. It matters because a cohesive staff is necessary for a missional direction and well planned ministry. Lack of staff unity or alignment will eventually cause a lack of unity in the church that will come back and bite the senior leader.

Three: Not being able to articulate a clear vision and direction for the church. When there is not clarity over who we are or where we are going, churches start to drift and that drift is uncomfortable for many in the congregation even if they cannot articulate it. For leaders in the congregation (elected or not) it is a huge issue because they understand that clarity of direction is key to getting healthy ministry done. Congregations are not looking for pastors who have the leadership skills of some high profile mega church leaders but they are looking for clarity of direction - and they have every right to expect that from their leader.

If a pastor is not gifted in defining a clear vision and direction, it is critical that they bring around them people who can help them do so. When this is not done well, congregations not only drift but they turn inward and conflict often results. Lack of direction will eventually compromise a pastor's ministry.

Four: Poor Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Poor EQ translates into poor relationships, defensiveness, inability to develop a culture where robust dialogue is encouraged, a need to be right, being unapproachable, inability to deal with people who disagree with them, personal insecurities, hubris, narcissism and so on. EQ issues will catch up with a pastor because their ability to lead always comes back to healthy relationships and personal influence. Where healthy relationships are not the norm, conflict results, good people gravitate out of the church and the culture of the church starts to reflect the dysfunction of the senior leader. In addition, healthy people spot poor EQ easily and are often not interested in working closely with leaders of poor EQ.

Healthy and wise pastors pay a huge amount of attention to these four areas because the lack of health in these four will, without question, compromise their leadership and may even become the cause of having to leave their church. When pastors get into trouble it is not always the fault of others. It can be the inattention to key issues of leadership that define their role. These four are always central.

Deal with it!

2011-11-08T09:18:00.000-08:00

It is an all too common scenario when consulting with churches or ministries. They have a problem with a staff member who does not belong or a member of the church who is behaving in ways that hurt the body and a leader says to me, "We should have dealt with this a long time ago." Had they done so they probably would not need someone to come in and help them with the fallout!

What happens when we put off dealing with issues? They don't go away - they simply become more difficult to deal with in the future. Take a staff member who does not fit the team. Whenever you deal with the situation there is fallout because all staff have a constituency. Don't deal with it when you should and that constituency just becomes stronger and the fallout worse when one is forced to finally deal with the inevitable. If that staff member is undermining the senior leader (yes it happens when people have their own agenda) the longer one waits the weaker the senior leader becomes.

Often leaders (pastors, elders, ministry leaders) put off dealing with the hard issues because they don't want to endure the pain that accompanies the addressing of the issue. Rather than settle for the short term pain that is followed by a far healthier culture they prolong their pain by not taking the action they know they should take. Their fear of the pain actually causes the ministry longer and deeper pain than if they had addressed the issue earlier. Sometimes to the chagrin of their successor, they simply leave the problem in place and force someone else to deal with it. Welcome to your new job :).

In the name of grace (and I am a great believer in grace) and conflict avoidance we often prolong the pain to an organization even when we know in our gut that no matter what we do, nothing is going to change. By choosing avoidance we put anchors on the ministry that keep dragging along the bottom, slowing everything down while we are trying to catch the wind and sail. I have known pastors and leaders that could not let a staff member go even though they know in their heart of hearts that that member is hurting the rest of the team. I know leaders who would not deal with church thugs even though those individuals created chaos in the congregation. Avoidance does not work. It creates greater problems and pain and the longer one waits to address the problem the more difficult it is to do so.

The only good solution is to deal with it. Be smart and wise but deal with it.

Listening to our spouse

2011-11-07T05:53:00.000-08:00

There have been a number of key decision points in my marriage where I have been ready to do something and Mary Ann expressed significant reservations. Those reservations kept me from moving ahead until we were both on the same page and were a great gift to me. In fact, I believe that spouses who don't carefully listen to one another on major decisions are not only foolish but potentially failing to listen to the Holy Spirit. I won't say that I was not sometimes irritated by her reluctance to agree with me but I will say she was invariably right and I would have paid dumb tax had I not listened.

Not listening is foolish because there are few people who know us better than our spouse! They know our strengths, weaknesses, tendencies, dark sides and all that makes up who we are. Furthermore, two people engaged in a decision is far better then one, especially when both have to live with the consequences. When I have an especially contentious issue at work or with an individual I will always talk it over with Mary Ann and will listen carefully to her counsel and usually my response is better for it.

But there is another factor that we often forget. As believers, we live with the gift of the Holy Spirit. The question is whether we are listening to the Holy Spirit in our busyness. My observation is that Mary Ann, like many women, are more reflective than many men and hear the whispers of the Spirit better than many men. Those whispers, however, are whispers from God who has our best interests in mind - always. Thus when our spouse indicates reservations it may just be that it is not them speaking but the Holy Spirit through them.

All married couples face significant issues together. The simple practice of praying about these issues together, talking about them and listening carefully to one another on all of them can lead to better decisions, wiser actions and most of all the best shot at hearing the Holy Spirit in the process. We ignore the reflections of our spouse to our peril and may even miss the direction of the Holy Spirit in the process.

Theologians in the pews

2011-11-05T02:34:00.000-07:00

OK, I don't like the lay/clergy distinction but recognize it is there. However, there is a long history within the evangelical tradition of theologians in the pews, not simply in the pulpit. In fact, it was the theologians in the pews who left the state church in Europe and formed "free churches" when the theologians in the pulpits no longer held to the truth of the Scriptures. This illustrates the importance of ordinary men and women who are also biblically literate. We cannot simply outsource the role of theologian to those with the requisite degrees. We need people who think deeply on the things of Scripture and their application to life and the church.

Perhaps the Bereans of the New Testament best illustrated this tradition as they carefully studied the scriptures. Today, every tool available to pastors is also available to the rest of us - even tools to study the original languages (without having to learn them and most pastors forget what they learned of those quickly and use those tools as well).

There are many believers who are content with a simple knowledge of God and Scripture. But the health of the church requires that there are also those who go deep, drinking regularly at the well of truth and are able to teach and translate that truth to the lives of everyday people. It is a laudable goal, especially if that learning first goes into the lives of the learner.

When I was a child it was not unusual to have such people fill the pulpit from time to time. Today that is rare but there are more people who can teach and preach than we often acknowledge. It makes a statement when someone without a seminary or Bible school degree gives the message. It illustrates to others that Biblical truth is accessible to all rather than some.

It is often those "lay theologians" who challenge the church in missional directions. They are less enamored with "scripture light" that characterizes much of today's preaching. That is why effective Bible teachers in the local church are so loved. Many want to delve more fully than Sunday mornings lend themselves to.

If you are a lay theologian, a theologian in the pew, I salute you. You are deeply needed by the body. Keep it up and help all of us both love the Word more deeply and apply it more effectively. If you are a pastor, what are you doing to encourage, use and build into the skills of your theologians in the pew?

Our bucket list for Jesus

2011-11-03T04:19:00.000-07:00

Lot's of us have bucket lists - those things we want to do before we die. One friend of mine wants to play the top 100 golf courses in the world, another to visit all the countries of the world: I have told him it is easy to get into all of them but tough to get out of some of them. Bucket lists are fun, give life color and reflect our various interests.

What about a Jesus bucket list? Things we want to do for Jesus in the years He gives us. Those too are fun and reflect our gifts and spiritual interests - and have meaning for eternity. One couple I know of wants to support 100 children in need and they keep increasing the number to get there. Another wants to give one million dollars in compassion funds to the least of these. Another wants to make one short term trip each year to strengthen pastors in the majority world who get little or no encouragement from others. Mary Ann and I desire all of our neighbors to come to Christ and we work and pray toward that end.

God gave us the ability to dream, imagine and envision what can be. This is part of being made in the image of God. That creativity can be channeled in many directions. One of those directions should be bringing bits of heaven to earth (The Lord's Prayer) wherever we can in line with our gifts and abilities. The world will not be changed by the programs of our churches (good as they are) but by the acts of ordinary men and women living out their God given destiny.

All of us have dreams of things we want to do in this life. Let's add a bucket list for Jesus to those dreams. Many things don't cross the line from time to eternity but these things will.

Parents: a major inhibitor to sending new missionaries

2011-11-02T03:44:00.000-07:00

This blog may rub the wrong way - welcome to the genre. And I don't really want it to. I am the parent of two grown men and the grandfather of one precious boy. But, the fact remains that it is not unusual for young people being called into missions to face strong resistance from their own Christian parents.

The arguments often start with safety: after all we read many bad things about the world on a regular basis. Then there is the economic argument: missionaries don't make much and it takes a lot to raise a family these days. Or, it is the fear or reality of not having grandchildren close to home. In my experience, the greater the economic wealth of the family the more resistance there is to blessing adult children who choose to give their lives to Christian work, especially overseas.

At the core of this resistance is the belief that the primary end of our lives is about economic stability, health, safety from all possible threats, the best opportunities for our children and the accumulation of enough wealth to cover the eventualities of life. That is why other successful individuals told my parents many years ago that they would be throwing their lives away if they went into foreign missions.

So let me ask the obvious question. Is our highest goal to achieve the American dream or to follow the leading of Jesus wherever He chooses to lead us? Jesus answered that question definitively when in the Garden he rejected the alternatives and said, "Thy will be done." Abraham answered that question when he left the stability of Ur for Canaan. Paul answered that question when he followed Jesus to be the missionary to the very Gentiles he had hated. How have you answered that question and does it apply to your children and grandchildren as well?

Family is precious. God is more precious yet and he cares for our family in ways we never could. My "poor and deprived" upbringing in Hong Kong from the point of view of many back home was the richest existence I could have and the greatest contribution to God's plan for my life. God provided for our family in amazing ways.

If your children or grandchildren are called by God to difficult places, never get in the way of His call on their lives. And never confuse the highest goal of life with the American dream - or the dream of a good life. The good life and the best life is always found where Jesus is and where He calls us to be.

The world hits 7 billion

2011-11-01T02:14:00.000-07:00

It is a big milestone that our world reached just yesterday - at least officially. It is especially amazing when you consider that the world's population was 1.7 billion in 1900 and only 600 million in 1700! It is also a reminder of the challenge we have to reach an exploding world with the good news of Christ.

The corollary to the large numbers is that in our connected, globalized world, it is possible to reach more people more quickly than ever before. Our world is largely accessible today, something that was not true when I arrived in Hong Kong as a child with my parents in 1960. In the preglobalized world (then) the evangelization of the world looked like a daunting task. Travel was difficult and expensive, communication was slow and by letter and the gospel was not well known in many places.

Not only is the world far more accessible today but there are far more believers globally who can partner together in sharing the Gospel. It is those partnerships, I strongly believe, that are the key to seeing the Gospel expand rapidly. Churches and agencies in the west partnering with the global church to train church planters, pastors and missionaries and leveraging our various skills and strengths for a common cause. The majority world church is hungry for shared strategies and healthy partnerships to reach their own populations and beyond.

Many look at population growth and see coming disaster. I look at global growth and see opportunity for the expansion of heaven's population where every language, tribe, nation and people will be represented. We have the opportunity in our globalized world to see that population expand more quickly than ever before.