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A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.
Showing posts with label Kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kindness. Show all posts

Saturday, December 7, 2019

5 Practical Indicators of Spiritual Transformation


Spiritual transformation is the goal of our lives as Christ followers - something all healthy church leaders think about for the congregation they lead. I am often asked whether spiritual transformation can be measured. The answer is yes! In fact, there are some practical indicators of spiritual transformation in the life of a believer and corporately as a congregation. These five indicators, or their lack, speak directly to whether spiritual transformation is taking place.

The first indicator is kindness. This is about being friendly, generous, and considerate to others - those we naturally like and those we don't. Kindness is a trait of God and is often translated "loving kindness" in the Old Testament. It is God's posture toward us, and therefor as we become transformed by Him, we grow in our loving kindness toward others. It is an attitude that is reflected in our words and actions toward those around us.

Congregations characterized by kindness indicate a high level of spiritual transformation. They are generally peaceful and friendly and exhibit love for one another. They care about one another and show that care in practical ways. You cannot be kind and ignore the needs that those around you may have. Kindness and grace have much in common. 

The second indicator is forgiveness. Those who are quick to forgive - and willing to forgive even the hard things and hard people exhibit the character of God. This is not a human trait but a divine one. Untransformed people hang on to their grievances and bitterness, while transformed individuals choose to forgive, leave their bitterness and hurt behind and live in God's forgiving grace. 

Forgiveness is not easy and often must be done repeatedly, hence the words of Jesus that we must be willing to forgive many times. In forgiving, we shed our bitterness and choose to live in peace.

How many congregations are characterized by factions, gossip, harsh attitudes, and conflict? These are all indicators of a people in need of God's transformation. Churches can be mean places with mean people! Where forgiveness is the hallmark, however, none of the above are usually present because an attitude of forgiveness rules them out. Every time we forgive, we demonstrate the attitude of God toward us. And we choose His way over our way.

The third indicator is generosity. This is an unselfish attitude toward others characterized by generous attitudes where we think the best, generous actions where we help those in need - or those we simply desire to bless. If a selfish attitude is all about me, a generous spirit desires to bless others. It is an unselfish life. Generous people always want the very best for others.

Congregations marked by generosity are contagious because generosity is contagious. Generosity of spirit, time, encouragement, help and forgiveness. This is something you feel and experience from someone who has it and congregations who live it.

Then there is the indicator of humility. Not thinking too highly of ourselves. In fact, this is one of the most powerful traits of one who has been transformed because they understand that life is not about them. Humility indicates that we focus not primarily on ourselves but on Jesus and others. We don't need to fight for our own way or prove ourselves to others. It is a heart at peace because we have nothing to prove, nothing to lose, and nothing to hide.

Congregations marked by humility have very little conflict, look out for others, and are not pretentious but service oriented. Humble congregations are those that are focused on God, His will, and plans and serve others generously. Even other congregations in the community need help. Pride says life is about us. Humility says we are here to serve.

Finally, there is the mark of patience. Here is something to consider. Impatience is a sign that my needs were not met, that my agenda was not kept, that someone did not live up to my expectations, or that someone's spiritual life is not growing at the pace I want. The common word here is "my" and "I," which is not an indicator of transformation. It focuses on myself and what I want without appreciating others and their situations. Patience is a character trait of God, who is infinitely patient with us on a daily basis.

Congregations marked by patience are generally full of grace and give one another great latitude. They are understanding, kind, and not easily irritated. Oh, and they are patient with their leaders, and their leaders are patient with the congregation. What a joy that would be in many congregations.

Can spiritual transformation be measured? It can be! By the growth of these traits in ourselves and in our congregations. It is hard work, but with the help of the Holy Spirit, it is all about becoming more about Jesus.


TJ Addington is the lead at Addington Consulting. We solve dysfunctional cultures and teams and help you build healthy, scalable organizations of clarity, alignment, and results. If the pain is high, you need Addington Consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

tjaddington@gmail.com



Monday, June 18, 2018

Be kind to those who irritate you because....

We make many assumptions about people around us, especially those who tend to irritate us. Why do they behave the way they do? Why do they irritate us? Why are they so irritable? There can be many "Whys." When irritated, Remember: "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." 

It is easy to respond harshly, cynically or irritably to those who respond poorly to us. The natural response is to respond back in kind. Or to confront. A loving response is to reply with kindness and see if you can uncover the pain that is causing their reaction to you. 

Sometimes pain is public like when one loses their job or a family member dies. Most pain is held in private hidden from the outside world: marriages in crisis, severe financial pressure, decisions that need to be made. Everyone has either public or private pain. Usually it is private and until we understand the issues someone is dealing with we cannot understand them - or their reactions. Once we do, we can not only minister to them but understand why they responded the way they did. 

We live in an increasingly polarized and busy world where relationships that allow us to share deeply are becoming more rare. Being sensitive to those around us and responding to them in kindness, knowing that we don't know their struggles, is a posture of love that can open the door to better understanding.



Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Dropping bread crumbs to the Kingdom

Mary Ann and I travel...a lot. And we meet a lot of people in the process. One of our favorite things to do is to engage them in conversation whether expats like us or nationals whom we meet. Our goal is to engage them in conversations about Jesus, or just love on them, tip them well and perhaps share some of the books we have written.

Mary Ann describes it as dropping bread crumbs for the kingdom. It may just be a simple conversation or an act of kindness. One of the things we love to do is to show our appreciation for those young men and women who serve us in our hotels. The truth is that they often receive no regard. So we love to go out of our way to show them kindness and appreciation monetarily. Often they make next to nothing and our gift is huge in their economy. They end up as friends on Facebook which transcends international barriers. 

We also ask questions to get their stories. As we do so we realize how blessed we are compared to so many. No one asks about their background or families so we do. We get email addresses so we can write and thank them and often they turn into long term relationships. If we can help them in some way we do. And it is a joy. 

All of us meet people in the course of our days where we can drop crumbs of the Kingdom. It is what Jesus did and it is what we can also do as we join him in His work of bringing His love and appreciation and message to those around us. Never forget how starved people are for genuine love and attention. Just last night Mary Ann and our son Chip stopped to visit with Johann, here in St. Paul who was from Germany. He was clearly hungry for community and love. 

We often do things like loan a car, or caring for a friends yard when he had a stroke. Small things that make a difference. Mary Ann will often bring our dry cleaner a cup of coffee and engage him in conversation. Small things that make a difference. Tonight as I came home from a three week trip, my driver asked what I do. I said among other things that I write books. He asked what kind of books and I said leadership books and one on the ten most important questions people can ask about their lives. He said, "I'd love to read that." I told him that if he would bring the luggage in I would get two books for him. Bread crumbs to the Kingdom. He thanked me profusely.

What crumbs are you dropping?

Posted from Oakdale, MN

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.