Growing health and effectiveness

A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.
Showing posts with label pride. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pride. Show all posts

Monday, March 8, 2021

The key to humility is personal security



The more secure I am in who God made me to be
 and who my Father in heaven is,
 the better I can lead with humility
 rather than pride. 

Proud people are often insecure people. Because of their personal insecurities, they need to be right, control others, get their way, have the approval of others, and have a need to prove something to the world and those around them. Those who have personal security, on the other hand, know who they are and have nothing to prove, nothing to lose, and nothing to hide. They can be humble!

Jesus illustrates this in John 13 when on the eve of His death He washes the feet of His disciples. "The evening meal was in progress and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him" (John 13:2-5).

What Jesus did here was astonishing to His disciples. In fact, when Jesus got to Peter, he balked and told Jesus there was no way He could wash His feet. This job was for servants, not men of stature and dignity. Further, Jesus was the master, and masters didn't serve their disciples; it was the other way around. Jesus did what many leaders today will not or cannot do. He served His disciples and demonstrated that service with this humble act.

What struck me recently, however, are these words that precede his foot washing. "Jesus knew that the father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist."

These are not insignificant words! Jesus knew who He was in relation to His father. He was personally secure, even on the eve of His death. He knew who He was, and He knew who His father was and therefore was not at all embarrassed to wash His disciple's feet, although they were embarrassed that He would do so. 

Here is the truth. The more secure we are in ourselves, the less we must prove ourselves to others. The more secure we are in our Heavenly Father, the more we can serve others humbly rather than live with pride. At its root, pride comes from personal insecurities and our need to prove something. Humility comes from personal security and the lack of a need to prove anything to anyone. Security removes our need to position ourselves, prove ourselves or lift ourselves up. Security frees us to serve as Jesus served us and serves us still.

In leadership, humility is a key trait for lasting influence. To lead humbly, we need to understand that our leadership is a stewardship and not a right. The more secure I am in who God made me to be and who my Father in heaven is, the better I can lead with humility rather than pride. 




Saturday, February 2, 2019

When it is finally time to lay the burden down

Most of us carry burdens that weigh us down and cripple us from being all that we can be. They are heavy, and they are exhausting. This is nowhere more true than when we have blown it, been grievously wrong, hurt someone, or been guilty of grave sin, and the load we carry is guilt, shame, and a desperate attempt to hang on to our dignity. Some carry this load for years, some for decades, some for most of their lives. And it only gets heavier.

And heavier.

What keeps us from laying it down? To admit our fault, take responsibility, and seek forgiveness? Only one thing: Our Ego or pride. To realize is to say, "I am the one." To take responsibility is to say, "I did it." To seek forgiveness is to say, "I was wrong; will you forgive me?" Our pride and ego keep us from all three of those actions. They are too hard, and yet the burden carried is far weightier.

And each time we deny our guilt, the weight gets heavier.

The greatest enemy to our burdens is our pride. We are not meant to carry this weight. It is why Jesus came and died. We don't have to pretend we are better than we are, as our goodness is that of Jesus living in us, not who we are by ourselves. The Apostle John says, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." We are sinners. It is who we are. It is why we do what we do. It is the human condition. Yet John says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:8-9).

But it is hard, and we are used to carrying the weight.

But to lay it down, we must fight the battle with our egos and pride to get from "I am without sin" to "I need to confess my sin. I did it. I am guilty. I need forgiveness." It is the battle that says, "I must retain my dignity," so I cannot admit it. Ironically, our dignity has nothing to do with us and everything to do with Jesus who imputes his righteousness to us. Our dignity reflects Him and the fact that we are made in His image. We have inherent dignity in Jesus apart from our good works - or wrong. He gives us dignity. He gives us worth. He gives us love.

Wow. I don't have to worry about my dignity. Jesus gives me dignity.

Much of the Christian life is a journey from pride to humility. We all think we are humble and the more we believe that, the more pride we possess. We all think we are better than we are, and the more we believe that, the more deluded we become. Pride stands in the way of a life of followership because pride is about us, and followership is about Jesus. For many, humility comes hard. But the Father loves us enough to keep chipping at the façade of pride until the man or woman God made us to show up. Humble, unpretentious, and with a nothing-to-prove, nothing-to-lose, and nothing-to-hide attitude.

Jesus tells me to let go of my pride.

Ironically, when we let go of our pretense and pride, it is then that we can lay our burden down. Because then we can say, "I am the one, I did it, I was wrong, will you forgive me?" And with that, the burden can be laid down at the foot of the cross, paid for by Jesus, and we can stand upright again, purified of our unrighteousness. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30).

We can have rest for our souls. 

Is it time for you to lay a burden down? When we do, we go from weary and burdened to a place of rest and peace. And Jesus models the spirit that is necessary when He says, "For I am gentle and humble in heart."

Helping individuals and organizations go to the next level
AddingtonConsulting.org





Monday, August 17, 2015

Another word for unteachability is arrogance

I am always fascinated when I meet people who are truly unteachable. I have come to the conclusion that they suffer from arrogance. If I am unwilling or unable to receive constructive feedback I am saying "I am right" rather than "tell me more." 

In talking to a senior pastor recently who was involved in significant conflict in his church centered around how he led, I asked him if he would do anything differently. He said "no!" I was amazed. I have never been in conflict where I would not do something different. What he said was that he stood for truth which by implication meant that everyone who saw issues in his leadership obviously did not. Where do you go from there. My guess is that he will take his same issues to his next leadership role because he is unwilling to admit there was anything he did wrong. Or even invite a conversation around it. When we don't learn from our tough times we take our issues to the next place of ministry.

Why are people sometimes unteachable? They are hanging on to pride and in their pride they become arrogant thinking they are always right. It is a dangerous place to be and the longer we live there the stronger our defenses become. Sometimes it takes a truly huge breaking before one becomes teachable. 

In the Christian world, arrogance can take on a spiritual quality. "Not only am I right but I have God on my side." In talking to the individual above I questioned some of his actions from a wisdom and discernment perspective. His answer, rather than at least having a conversation was "I am glad I will be judged by God and not by you." Not only was he not willing to at least explore my proposition but he implied that God would vindicate him. How do you dialogue over that?

One thing I loved about my dad was that while had very strong opinions he was also someone who always wanted to get better, always wanted to learn and grow. All of his degrees did not make him arrogant and unteachable.  I understand strong opinions, I have a few not having fallen far from the tree. But I want to be like him in this regard. It is why I try to live the best I can by a "nothing to prove and nothing to lose attitude." 

A humble individual is a teachable individual. They desire and appreciate constructive words that are meant for our good. A true sign of our humility is our teachable and a sign of our pride is the opposite. As we gain experience and success we need to remember that humility is teachability no matter how successful we are. 


TJ Addington (Addington Consulting) has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

"Creating cultures of organizational excellence."

Sunday, March 8, 2015

How a life of grace makes humility possible and pride less likely

Pride is ubiquitous among leaders in the Christian world. The interesting thing about pride is that it is often rooted in insecurity. If I am insecure I don't want to be wrong and if I don't want to be wrong I will insist that I am right which leads directly away from humility and straight toward pride. 

But why do we live with needing to hide our insecurities and weaknesses and mask them with certainty and a need to be right? May I suggest that it is because we are trying to prove something about ourselves? That we are good enough? That we are not failures? That we are worthy people? That God will be happy with us? That we are successful? 

Is it possible that at the heart of our pride and fear of failure and therefore a need to be right and in charge is that we do not understand grace? What is grace about other than that God accepts us with all of our sin, weaknesses, dysfunctions, dark sides, and all the rest we can name. And if He accepts us and loves us and if we live in His grace, why do we need to pretend we are something we are not or fear our insecurities? After all, God knows everything about us fully and yet loves us fully. He loved us when we didn't know Him and even then extended grace. 

Understanding God's grace is necessary to give ourselves grace. And if I am living in grace I don't need to pretend, I don't need to be right, I don't need to prove myself to others and I can admit my insecurities, failures and other areas of struggle. And that is the key to a life of humility. Pride is all about a facade to protect ourselves. Understanding grace removes me from the necessity of the facade and allows me to be real - the real me - warts and all. And it allows me to be OK with the journey I am on toward greater likeness to Jesus but knowing it will remain imperfect until I see Him.

I suspect that humility and grace are deeply intertwined and that understanding, living in and extending to ourselves God's grace is a key to the ability to live humbly. Humility is a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude where we don't need pretense. It is an honest life. Honest about who we are, the gifts God has given us, the brokenness we have and the journey we are on. I am not sure that true humility is possible without a good understanding of God's grace.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Appealing to our vanity

From time to time I receive "notice" that I have been chosen as an outstanding contributor in some field and that upon the acceptance of my application (and significant fee) I may be approved to be included in this exclusive list of names to be listed in a fancy volume so that I can purchase it and put it on my shelf. 

Of course, this is not about my great accomplishments but someone making money but the fact that they publish said volumes year after year is indication that there is no shortage of vanity to take advantage of. My latest accomplishments seem to be in the field of HR which my own HR office would find highly comic, and highly suspect.

Studies show that we consistently overrate our abilities and wisdom and underrate out weaknesses and mistakes. No matter, we know better and often think of ourselves more highly than we should.

Those in Christian service who see success often start to buy the press they (we) receive. It is a dangerous path to walk down. The leaders I admire the most are the most ordinary of people, real people, who have not allowed anyone to place them on a pedestal, who discount the adulation they receive because they both know themselves well and know who gave them any gifts they possess. It is their humility and humanity (and these two go together) that endear them to others. 

Pride is one of the most often named sins in Scripture because God hates the haughty but loves the humble. The humble, after all, reflect the character of Jesus (Philippians 2). The humble reflect the character of God who has no need to be humble in any sense. As the beatitudes say, "blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth." I have made it an "unseen practice" when people are praising me to inwardly say, "Jesus it is all yours and any praise that comes to me is your deserved praise." I cannot claim credit for gifts that God gave me to steward. He was the source and His is the praise. It is why I am always uncomfortable in that situation.

It is easy to think we are humble. It is a lifelong discipline to stay humble, especially for those who are in the limelight. I will always remember the funeral of my mother in law, one of the most humble people I ever met. The place was packed. Not because she was somebody in circles that "mattered." Rather because from behind the scenes, she lived out her faith in humble acts of kindness that endeared her to all who came to her service. I receive accolades in this life. She may receive more of them in heaven. 

Guarding ourselves against vanity and practicing humility is one of the more important disciplines for those who end up in the lime light. 

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.


Friday, November 7, 2014

Arrogance or humility in leadership is found in how we treat staff

While many have been watching high profile evangelical leaders who have treated staff and congregants poorly, the truth is that this happens all the time in otherwise good evangelical churches and Christian ministries. I routinely see this first hand as I consult and hear regularly from people who have experienced heavy handed treatment. I would say that there is more pain from poor treatment of staff in the church and ministry world than in the corporate world. This is partly because they can get away with it as people are not likely to cause division by broadcasting the issues.

Mistreatment of people is a sign of leadership arrogance. Often boards are complicit as well when they do not verify what they are hearing from their senior pastor or allow what they know to be heavy handed tactics. Here are some common ways that arrogance is demonstrated in the treatment of staff and/or congregants.

One: Staff who try to raise legitimate issues or engage in legitimate dialogue are shut down by senior leaders through intimidation or threats. This is far more common than many people realize. The threat can be for their job (and there are many ways to threaten one's job subtly), it can be around causing division (by a difference of opinion?), ridicule, or a pattern of simply firing those who disagree. When there is fear within a staff culture there is clear indication that intimidation is taking place and there are many churches where this is the case.

One of the most egregious kinds of intimidation is a gag order where staff are not allowed to talk about issues with themselves, with members of the congregation or with elected leaders and  their leadership will not let them into the process of ministry decisions. They are essentially left without a voice, without a place to go with their concerns and live with the fear that if they voice their concerns they will be called to task. All such gag orders are a sign of poor leadership, they are dysfunctional, they lead to toxicity and a culture of mistrust and eventually good people will choose to leave. 

A second sign of arrogance in leadership is when staff are let go without due process. Even with "at-will" employment in many places I am amazed that there are not more lawsuits for staff being fired by senior leaders for highly questionable leaders (I just want them gone) without due process. Sometimes the fired staff are not even told why they are being let go. Due process means a process where the issues are explained, there is the ability for the staff person to defend themselves and if necessary there is a third party present. I have seen countless examples where staff are "gotten rid of" by senior leaders who either don't like them, don't like their opinions or simply want to fill slots with sycophants who will do their bidding - all without true due process.

Even when there are performance issues, the first question should be, has this person been coached and mentored and can we help them get to where they need to go. If many senior leaders were treated like they treat their staff, they would understand what it feels like to be at the capricious will of a dysfunctional leader and it does not feel good. 

Another way that arrogance is expressed in treatment of staff is very simple: not listening to staff, not soliciting their views, and not engaging them in the process of ministry decisions even though they are stakeholders and will be impacted by those decisions. I am always amazed when senior pastors (many when they first arrive and are going to solve everything that is bad in the church - from their perspective) make sweeping unilateral decisions without even engaging their senior staff. It is a fast way to lose all coinage with staff. And it is highly disempowering. 

Why do I call behavior like this arrogant? Because it is clearly all about the leader and what he/she wants and not about the staff. Anytime we mistreat staff we are using our authority and power in ways they were never meant to be used. Nor did Jesus operate this way. Humility is a recognition that we need each other, honor each other, build team and always treat others with fairness, integrity and dignity. Humble leadership may take more time to get some things done but it will build to last with a reservoir of trust. Arrogant leadership can move fast but at the deficit of trust and through using and abusing staff along the way.

A word to elected leaders. Behaviors like this are usually blissfully ignored by boards. Why? Their leader is getting things done or they simply don't want to address it. Ultimately if such behaviors are taking place on your watch you are responsible even if not the agent. Poke around a bit and make sure that your staff culture is as healthy as you are told it is. Often it is not. I know because eventually I get called into situations when they come apart and I always wonder why leaders either did not know or did not intervene.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Do fame and notoriety cloud one's thinking?

I have been mulling on a number of situations recently where Christian leaders have made really poor decisions in my view: Rich Stearns and World Vision's new policy to hire individuals in homosexual marriages; Rob Bell and his redefinition of heaven and hell and and the controversy over Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill who tried to manipulate the system to get his book on marriage onto the New York Times best seller list. I have another private list of individuals who have seemingly lost their way when they become Christian public figures. I saddens me and causes me to ask a question:

Do fame and notoriety cloud one's thinking and cause us to make decisions and pronouncements that are Biblically questionable? Does fame tend to give us more confidence in our own wisdom than in God's wisdom? Does it allow us to cross boundaries that we did not dare cross in the earlier years?

Fame and celebrity are a dangerous calling and few seem to handle it well. We see success and that success breeds pride and we begin to believe our own press which leads to the marginalization of those who don't agree with us and soon we become isolated and unaccountable - and eventually crash! Wisdom co-opted by pride! Youthful passion co-opted by ego! Jesus co-opted by us!

I am glad that I am not famous. I never want to be. To those who are I say this: There is never more important a time to develop a cadre who will tell one  the truth than when one is in the limelight. Because when the spotlight shines on us rather than on the One who created us, we have co-opted God and it rarely has a good ending.

To be clear, I don't know the motives or hearts of those named above and am not passing judgement. I am asking a question that their actions prompt. What I do know that when our name surpasses The Name, something is wrong. And when our pronouncements are at odds with His pronouncements, the same is true. 

There is never more important a time to develop accountability and humility and to guard the shadow side as when we become important in the eyes of others. And believe that we actually are.

(Posted from Milwaukee)

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Organizational pride and its impact on ministry

The problem of pride does not just impact individuals. It infects churches and Christian organizations as well. And it's impact is just as insidious.

The root of organizational pride is usually found in a period of "success" sometime in the ministry's history - the glory days if you will. For churches this is usually when they had the largest attendance and they were a big deal in the community. Years later, even with new circumstances and different numbers, those years are remembered and in the corporate memory they are still "a big deal." Even when in decline, years later, many churches believe they are still back in the glory days.

Like individual pride, organizational pride has its consequences. Pride keeps us from seeing our current reality. Pride keeps us from getting help. Pride keeps us from understanding that times have changed and so must we. Pride keeps us from learning from others - after all we are the experts. At all levels, organizational pride is a cancer that erodes our effectiveness and holds us back.

It is also a foolish posture because no organization stays at the top of the list forever. Ironically many ministries have the greatest pride long after the big time is over. And it keeps them from moving into a new future of productive ministry. 

Humility is not only the posture of a mature ministry but it is the key to moving from one period of ministry to another. A humble ministry does not get stuck in a past period of productivity since it has nothing to prove in the present. Humble ministries learn, grow, re-invent and focus on the present and future while prideful ministries focus on that period of success in their past: a crucial difference. 

I have worked with ministries who were immensely successful in a period of their ministry. That success made them resistant to the very changes that were needed to move to a new level of ministry effectiveness. They didn't want to hear that what got you to here will not get you to there. Their pride got in the way of seeing what they needed to see to move forward.

A period of success can fuel pride and in an ironic twist, that pride keeps us from moving forward in the present. Resist it if you are a leader. Humble ministries are far more nimble and change friendly than prideful ministries. Humble ministries have nothing to prove and nothing to lose. 


Monday, October 22, 2012

The dangers of arrogance in leadership

Arrogance: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions (Webster). 

Arrogance is one of the potential pitfalls of leadership, especially for highly gifted leaders whose drive and ambition combined with a high degree of self importance and a lack of accountability fuel an ever heightened sense of imperious assurance. 


What are the signs of leadership arrogance? 


Self importance. Arrogance is, after all, all about self. These are leaders who truly believe that they are somehow different from normal human beings. They often speak about what they are doing in extravagant ways and rarely ask about what others are doing. Their focus in on themselves, their ministry and their contribution to the kingdom. The common theme is that it is about them.


Imperious assurance. This is a grossly over confident attitude that what they are doing is right, that it will always work and is often combined with extravagant claims. Any time you hear someone say that what they are doing is going to change the world or the church or something forever, beware. It is often simply the extravagant assurance of an imperious and arrogant mind.


Superiority. This is the natural outcome of arrogance. The belief that one is superior to others and that the decisions they make are better decisions than what others could make. This often plays out in marginalizing other good people because they are by nature not as good or bright or strategic as themselves. The way to elevate oneself is almost always to de-elevate others in some way.


Unaccountability. Arrogant leaders will never admit that they are unaccountable but what they often do is to simply ignore those who  disagree with them (even if it is their board or close colleagues) and do what they are intent on doing. Because the rules do not apply to them and because they are so confident that they are right they simply forge ahead with their agenda regardless of the voices that try to speak into their lives or plans. 


If someone becomes an obstacle to them or strongly disagrees with them they are often marginalized and shunted aside. Arrogant leaders listen to those who fuel their self importance and discount those who don't. Often, those who were once close are discarded once they take the risk of disagreeing with them.


A force of nature. A force of nature is an apt description for highly arrogant leaders. They simply go where they want to go and do what they want to do regardless of who or what is in their path. In many cases, people intentionally get out of the way because being in their way is dangerous. Often boards or colleagues are unwilling to go up against them because the push back is so severe and the ability of arrogant leaders to sell their case and negotiate their way to what they want is exhausting. 


This is nothing other than raw intimidation to get their way. They know it but they also know that they can do it and that others will often scatter. Arrogant leaders are often highly skilled in manipulating those around them to get their way. That manipulation may be flattery, intimidation, anger, marginalization, negotiation, or just stubborn wills that refuse to be bent. What it amounts to is that they intend to get their way no matter what.


Risk and adrenalin. Massive arrogance causes unhealthy leaders to take risks that healthy leaders would never take. They posture the risk as game changing moves that will yield some amazing result. Often, it is risk and the adrenalin of running at warp speed, fueled by situations that must be solved (by them of course) that feeds their ego and need for stimulation. 


This is particularly dangerous in a ministry setting because it puts the entire ministry at risk if decisions are made that compromise it, and arrogant leaders are prone to take risks that others would not. Those risks are usually more for the fulfillment of their own ambitions than for the sake of the ministry they lead. They feed on crisis and complex situations that only they can solve.


It is not unusual for other leaders to not even know of some of the risks that the ministry has been subject to because in their unaccountably many arrogant leaders don't feel a need to disclose everything. They tend to disclose what they want people to know and keep close to their vest what they don't want to be known.


It should be obvious that these characteristics of arrogance are not only signs of dysfunctionality (think narcissistic personality disorder) but dangerous to the ministry they lead. In many cases, these leaders eventually crash themselves and the ministry they are leading. Often they move on and never acknowledge the damage they have done. In fact, their take is that whatever happened is someone else's fault. It is how they are wired because life is about them.


Whatever you do, if you see these characteristics, don't ignore them.


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Organizational pride and humility

Pride is not only an issue for individuals but for organizations as well. Ministries can be prideful or humble and while it is not always seen on the inside, it is usually evident from the outside.


Take a church, for instance, that experienced great success in its past. It was well known and looked up to. Years later when it has passed its prime the leaders and congregation still think of themselves as "that" church that had once been - proud of who they are when in fact they are long past that era and in serious need of change and renovation. What keeps them from that change? Pride!


Organizations tuat are proud become organizations that stop learning, listening to others, and become stuck in whatever era it was that saw their greatest success. Humble organizations are the opposite. They know they have a lot to learn, know that times and circumstances change and are always looking for ways to learn and grow.


Pride is as destructive to ministry organizations as it is to individuals. It inflates importance and therefore decreases a humble attitude of learning,. It overvalues itself and undervalues others. In doing so it becomes insular and sees no need to cooperate with others. After all, it has a corner on the ministry market. 


And it is a dangerous place to be because that corner is an illusion and the moment we stop learning, cooperating and valuing others our own decline is set in motion. We may not know it for a number of years but it will set in. 


I want the organization I lead to be the best that it can be. But that best is predicated on being a humble, learning, cooperating, giving and servant organization. Pride destroys effectiveness while humility promotes it.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Pedestals are dangerous places to be and to prop up

One of the risks of Christian leadership is that others often put them on  a pedestal, looking up to that leader as if they were from another species, seeing only the good stuff and none of the bad stuff. It really is a bad place to be for any number of reasons, least of which is that when the pedestal breaks it is painful for both the leaders and those who put them there. 

I also know leaders who love to be on the pedestal. They like the adulation, the otherness and the position it gives them. And, it insulates them from much of the scrutiny because the more removed they are the less others are able to challenge them. You don't say honest or hard things to unapproachable people - like leaders who foster a certain elevation from others. 

My advice to those who work for leaders who like the pedestal is that one does not treat them with deference, but like everyone else.  They may not like it but allowing them to be treated as special only feeds the unhealthy side of their leadership. I resolved long ago that I would always be respectful but never feed the egos of unhealthy leaders.

For the rest of us who may be put on pedestals by others, I have four suggestions. First, be candid about those things you can be candid about. We have the same struggles as everyone else. Being honest about those struggles helps others understand we are not different.

Second, be approachable. The more approachable we are the more human we will be while the more unapproachable we are the more "otherness" we foster. Let people get to know you as much as possible.

Third, be real. Pretense is dishonesty while just being real about who we are is honesty. The more transparent we are, the more human we are and the less others will elevate us.

Fourth, be humble. Humility is self effacing while pride elevates self. 

I have a good friend about whom people say, "He is without guile." I love that description. It is who I want to be. As such, I will not cooperate with anyone who wants to live on a pedestal or put me on one (God forbid).

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Pride and Christian Leadership

Personal pride and Christian leadership are fundamentally incompatible with one another. 

Signs of pride are easy to spot:

  • Loving the praise we get from others
  • Name dropping - we are on the in with the big shots
  • Letting others know how big and successful our ministries are
  • Not listening to others - we have the answers
  • Letting others know we are in charge
  • Taking credit for success
  • Blaming others for failure
  • Ignoring our shadow side
  • Narcissism (there is a lot of it in Christian leadership) 
  • Elevating ourselves
  • Defensiveness (pride central)
  • Putting others down

Think about this: Pride elevates self but we are to elevate Jesus. Pride says "I accomplished this" when in reality anything of spiritual significance was accomplished by God's power. Pride says, "I made something of myself" when in fact God gave us our skills and wiring as a gift to be used for Him. Pride thinks that our success is a reflection of our greatness when in effect, it is simply a gift from God.

If anyone had a right to pride it was Jesus but where do you see it? He claimed to speak the words of the Father, do the will of the Father and gave all the glory to the Father. He lived for the Father's glory rather than His own. When His disciples vied for position and glory He rebuked them saying that they were living by the world's values not kingdom values. 

The life of Jesus was one of humble dependence and servant leadership. Paul had the same mindset committed to boasting about one thing only - the cross of Christ. He took no credit for his accomplishments, great as they were but gave all the credit to God. He knew that "when he was weak, then he was strong," because it was all about God's power, not his wisdom or power. 

Why is there so much pride, so many egos and may I say it, narcissism among Christian leaders? It does not square with the life of Jesus or the life of Paul or the teaching of Scripture. We are nothing without God. My ability to write blogs and books is simply a gift I have been given. The leadership skills I have were also a gift from God to be used in trust for Him. What do I have to boast about except that God was gracious to me? And if I do take the credit am I not stealing credit from the One who rightly deserves all of it?

It is no wonder that many Christian leaders have major blow ups in their lives and ministries. Pride elevates self and minimizes Jesus and the greater the elevation of ourselves and the minimization of Jesus the more dangerous territory we are in. Narcissism is the ultimate elevation of self and rejection of Him. Once it becomes about us we have lost all ability to lead on His behalf. It is not that God abandons us, we have abandoned Him for all practical purposes.

It was pride that caused Satan to rebel against God. It was pride that prompted Adam and Eve to eat of the tree. It is pride that causes us to elevate ourselves but to the extent we do we are minimizing God. And that is a dangerous path to walk. Our hearts are indeed deceitful above all things. Guarding our hearts against pride is job one of anyone in Christian leadership.