Growing health and effectiveness

A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.
Showing posts with label suffering. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suffering. Show all posts

Monday, September 24, 2018

Life interruptions of hard times



One of the inescapable truths about God is that He does not see life from our point of view or what is best for us from our vantage point. Nowhere is this more evident than in our desire for a life of ease and comfort and His not uncommon "interruptions" that bring with them hardship, suffering and challenges that test our coping abilities. We often question His inscrutable ways as we wish our hardships away. Sometimes He seems to hear our prayers and other times the hardships seem to be the new normal and the circumstances of our lives do not change. And it misses a crucial point which CS Lewis in his wise way reminds us. "The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own,' or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life -- the life God is sending one day by day." God is never surprised by our circumstances. Nor does He always see our "negative" circumstances as such. Often He sees them as opportunities for our own growth so that in an inversion of what the world counts as good, He sees the hard as opportunities for our greatest growth and therefore greatest good. Given this, those negative circumstances that we see as life interruptions are often the richest life we will ever live as it drives us closest to God. If we will see it as such and if we will embrace what God has sent and trust Him in its midst.
Consider these words of James regarding such life interruptions: Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4)."

It is good to pray for resolution of the hard situations we face. It is also good to embrace what God wants to do in our lives through it. And finally it is good to trust Him fully in its midst. This is life lived in followership of Jesus.




Friday, February 27, 2015

The wrong questions to ask about life and God

We often ask the wrong questions about life. Questions that if we studied the life of Jesus, Paul and a host of Biblical heroes we would not ask. In fact, our questions reflect more of our society than of Biblical theology. Consider the following.

Why me God? We ask this question when suffering enters our lives but the real question is Why not me? Suffering and hardship is a part of the fallen world and I cannot think of a single great figure in the Scriptures who did not suffer and whom God did not use that suffering for redemptive purposes in their lives.

Why does this happen to me when I have served you so well? Another variation of the first question. Yet Jesus explicitly said that to follow Him is to daily take up our cross - as He did. Ironically, following Him closely will often result in more suffering than not because we are following in the "fellowship of His sufferings." What a privilege when it happens even if we would never ask for that privilege.

Why does God not give me all that I ask? Or answer my prayers? Jesus invites us to ask Him to fill all of our needs, even our "daily bread." I would posit that he does answer our prayers but in ways that are best for us. Some things we pray for would not benefit us if He answered as we asked. Yet, He hears and responds to all of our prayers but from His perfect and divine perspective.

What if I am not worthy to ask Him for help? But we are! Because His willingness to hear us is not based on our merit but on His wonderful grace. The truth is that in ourselves we are never worthy of His help. But in His love, mercy and grace He freely gives us His presence, help and the best. There is nothing we can do to cause Jesus to love us more and there is nothing we can do to cause Him to love us less. 

If I serve Him will He  be good to me? Yes! But that question presupposes that there is a quid pro quo between our followership of Him and His blessing on our lives (by our definition). God is always good and He is always sovereign and He always does what is best for us (Romans 8:28). The question is in our definition of "good." God is always "good." We often do not realize what that good is. We see it from a human perspective and He sees it from a divine perspective.

God, if I do this for you will you do this for me? God is not to be bargained with but to be followed, loved and served. He is infinite in His love, His wisdom, His sovereignty and we don't serve Him for personal gain but out of love for the One who gave His life for us. I may serve him faithfully like Dietrich Bonhoeffer and pay with my life. We don't bargain with God. We serve Him and trust Him knowing that He is good, sovereign and has an eternal plan that will make Him look good and His reputation lifted high.

Why would He take my loved one from me in death? It is one of those tough questions but we often forget the other side of the equation. There is nothing - nothing - that compares to being in His presence for eternity. We mourn but the one we lost would not return to their earthly existence for anything once they had tasted just a moment in His presence. We overestimate life (precious as it is) and underestimate heaven (awesome as it is beyond our comprehension). 

Here is the wonderful thing. We, like Job or David in the Psalms can ask of God any question we like. He hears us, empathizes with us, loves us and comforts us. He is not irritated by our questions but they often do not reflect a Biblical theology as much as our own pain and our societies values. In spite of that He loves us in spite of what we ask. 

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.


Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Give the gift of Hope this Christmas to those who need it

Nothing describes the incarnation better than hope. Yet there are many who need the gift of hope this Christmas. This book was written for those who are walking through hard times - to give them the ultimate hope. If you know someone who needs the gift of hope this Christmas, this is a gift that will deliver much needed hope. To order, just click on the book cover.





From the forward:
Life has come undone. One day life is normal, and the next day our
lives are thrown into confusion and chaos. Like a drowning person, we find ourselves fighting to get back to the surface so we can take a breath.Pain, fear, and uncertainty have taken over. It is hard to even grasp this new reality as our minds and hearts shout, “This cannot be!”

If any of this describes you, a friend, or family member, this book is written for you. This is an authentic experience with life and pain and faith. Ultimately, this book offers hope for what can be after life has come undone, but before we get to what can be we must deal with what is. We must struggle through the emotional turmoil when life’s rules change cruelly without our permission.

No matter how strong our faith, such events often create a crisis of
faith. To not ask hard questions about God’s love and faithfulness in the trauma of life undone is abnormal, maybe irrational. Never is our understanding of God’s love, grace, and mercy more challenged and the answers more important than when life is hard and hope is scarce. We hang on to faith by the tips of our fingers as our minds work to encompass issues we have never had to understand except in a theoretical way.

To all of this there are no easy answers and often just more questions. The life undone forces us to question and reexamine the very core of what faith and life are about. I have asked these hard questions, and I am sure you have as well.

I invite you on a journey toward a life of hope, wholeness, and freedom. You can get there, regardless of how your life has come undone. This is not a journey of easy answers but one of honest realities, unlikely gifts, divine scars, God’s goodness, and ultimately a freedom that you have never experienced before.

There is nothing theoretical about When Life Comes Undone. It
comes out of real life, real pain, real struggle, and real faith. It explores the question, How do we walk by faith when life is hard and hope is scarce? Where is God in our pain? Why does God allow life to come undone when I have served Him and followed Him? There are no easy answers, but there are divine perspectives that can help us on that hard journey we all walk at one time or another.

I have walked this hard path. Walk with me toward freedom.
When life comes undone, having a community of support becomes
crucial. You may choose to use this book in a small group with others who are on this journey. Finding your freedom may involve receiving from others as well as giving your compassion and prayer to others. Use the discussion questions at the end of each chapter in your small group. Each chapter also includes a prayer, as an example of praying boldly. I invite you to prayerfully read through this book, allowing God to minister to your heart and heal your pain.

Monday, March 3, 2014

The cards we are dealt

Two things I know: I know that life is not fair and I know that God always is.

We see evidence of the first truth every day: illness, job loss, unfair circumstances, just the plain stuff of life that is not always pleasant or desired.

All of us are dealt a set of cards in our lives, and sometimes the hand is not what we signed up for. Those are the situations that cause discouragement, fatigue, disappointment, depression and anxiety.

If all we had were the first truth, (and that is all most people in our world have) life would be most discouraging. But, we know that God is fair, He is good, and He loves to redeem the unfairness of life for His greater purposes in our lives. In fact, speaking of God's goodness and fairness, there is nothing in us that deserves His attention to our lives in any way. The question is not why God allows some situation in our lives but why He deeply cares for us when it occurs. 

Think of the cards you have been dealt, the good ones and the hard ones. And then consider Peter's words: "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed (1 Peter 1:6-7).

What is interesting about Peter's words is that God has a higher purpose for our lives than our comfort. More important than our comfort is the quality, strength and development of our faith - and faith is developed when we are at the end of ourselves and must turn to Him in our need. For the Christ follower there is nothing more important than faith and trust in the Father and it is our trials that grow our faith quotient.

But even that is overshadowed by our ultimate goal which is to result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Our faith, our response to the issues of life results in praise, glory and honor as others around us watch us handle the unfairness of life with genuine trust in our loving God. Our ultimate mission in life, after all is to make the father look good and the son well known.

We do that when we allow the unfairness and discouragements of life to be forged into cutting edge faith and in doing so we overcome the cards we have been dealt with the strong, tempered alloy of faith which brings great glory, praise and honor to God.

Understood in this light, each bad hand we are dealt becomes an opportunity to grow and to bring glory, praise and honor to God. It all depends on how we view life and its ultimate purpose. The shallow view is that life is about me. The grander view is that life is about God and how He wants to use me to bring glory, honor and praise to Him. How we view life and its ultimate purpose will determine how we respond to the cards we have been dealt.

If the cards in your hand today look unfavorable to you remember this truth. In the end you have the winning hand for God always has the last word.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Character in the hard times of ministry

Displaying true Jesus character is not too hard when times are good. It is, however, on display when times are bad or hard or from our perspective unfair. For Christian leaders it is tested when we don't get our own way, when we are under attack or when we are asked to leave a ministry. None of those are easy things and each one tests what is truly inside of our hearts.

It amazes and saddens me even though I have seen it many times when Christian leaders get angry and strike back when they are asked to leave their ministry. Many years ago, I had to make a choice when I resigned a ministry under adverse conditions whether I would strike back, denigrate others or try to guard my reputation which was being put through the ringer. The best decision I made was to leave it all in the hands of God and allow Him to sort it out. I have come to a principle that one never hurts the Bride, and when we do we will be held accountable for doing so.

The same is true when we don't get our way. That can be hard and sometimes can be painful. Yet, the test is not the actual decision that is made but our reaction to it. Do we truly trust God or do we need to rely on ourselves? How does our anger when it erupts serve His purposes? When I am unwilling to reconcile with a brother, how does that serve the Kingdom of God? 

Personal attacks where our motives or reputations are sullied are perhaps one of the hardest areas to deal with. King David experienced this and he concluded that he had to leave his reputation in God's hands rather than take it into his own hands. God does have a way of sorting things out and even if it does not happen in this life, He can vindicate in the next. Our responsibility is to not do damage to His reputation when our reputation is under attack. 

In all of this there are really two issues at stake. The first is our character - Godly or ungodly, Higher nature driven or lower nature driven. But the second issue is more significant yet - the reputation of Jesus and the Father as evidenced by our behavior. Here is the bottom line: When we display poor character in the crucible of pain, we ultimately hurt His reputation. In trying to protect our reputation, in biting back in anger, in refusing the path of peace we may have the satisfaction of some measure of revenge in hurting those who we perceive have hurt us but in doing so we hurt something far more precious - the reputation of God.

Monday, November 4, 2013

The unlikely gift of pain

I experienced my first real failure at age 28. My dreams were broken, the vision for my life in shambles, I had resigned from my church after four years of deep pain, had no idea what I would do next and was suffering from clinical depression. What I did not know then was that my “failure” would be used by God to mold, direct, soften and sharpen, and forge things in my heart that could not be forged except through pain.

It was not a fair suffering by any stretch of the imagination. One of the lessons I have learned over the years is that “fair” is not God’s greatest concern for our lives. His greater concern is that we become what He wants us to be for the sake of what He wants us to do. Life was not fair for Moses, Joseph, Paul, Jesus, David, Esther, or most of the great characters of Scripture.

In every case there was a testing of the soul, a forging of character, a decision that had to be made whether to trust in the midst of suffering and the learning that can only take place through pain. As a focusing agent, nothing does it like pain – regardless of the source of that pain. As a young leader I did not know the cost of leadership in terms of suffering and pain. As an older leader I realize that the lessons learned in suffering and pain would not have been learned in any other way. Suffering is both the cost of leadership and a prerequisite of becoming a leader of deep influence. There is no other way.

As I survey my life over the past thirty years I can trace all the major themes of my life to periods of deep pain. It was in those times that God most forged character, faith, heart, soul and mind. I would not willingly choose to repeat those periods of pain but I would also not trade them for anything. Without the pain I would not be who I am today. As one who wants to have deep influence I can say with honesty: “Thank you God for the pain I have endured. You used it to make me who I am.”

A sage of the faith once wrote, “God cannot use a man greatly until He has first hurt him deeply.” This is not a statement about God’s character but about what it takes to mold our character. A reflection on the great men and women of Scripture reveal periods of great pain and brokenness which made them who they were. One of the prices of developing great influence is the presence of suffering in our lives.

Peter, speaking to those who were suffering because of their faith put suffering into an eternal perspective. “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Peter 1:6-7).

Peter is clear that suffering is not a random event but is intimately connected to what God wants to do in our lives – to refine our faith and make us the kind of people who are genuine and authentic which results in praise, glory and honor to God.” There is an authenticity to the faith of those who have gone through deep waters and rather than abdicate to bitterness and a diminished life, follow even harder after God, trusting Him when it makes no sense to trust and learning his sufficiency in their pain.

Paul, understood the deep connection between understanding Jesus and suffering. “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:10-11).

To know Jesus is first to understand what it means to be “a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering” (Isaiah 53:3). While health, wealth and prosperity are proclaimed today as God’s will for all of His people, Scripture says that those who suffer share in the fellowship of Christ’s sufferings and the writer of Hebrews encourages us with the truth that “Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him” (Hebrews 5:8-9). If the very Son of God was molded by suffering how can any of His followers not assume that they too will be molded by the same?

Think about this. Without the dark nights of the soul, David would never have been able to write the Psalms, the place all of us turn when we suffer our dark nights of the soul. Without his wilderness experience, Moses would never have become God’s most humble leader with whom he spoke face to face. Without Abraham’s willingness to follow God not knowing how it would turn out he would never have become the paradigm of faith for all the generations after him. Without suffering, the messiah would not have become the bearer of our sin!

When all is said and done, God is more concerned about the refining of our faith and lives than He is for our comfort and ease. The picture that Peter uses of faith “refined by fire” is the picture of the heating of metals in the forge so that the dross floats to the surface and can be scraped off to be thrown out – leaving something pure and beautiful behind. Pain and suffering do for our hearts what the fire does for precious metals like gold. There is no other way to purity metal and there is no other way to purify and mold our hearts.

When I packed my truck on a September day to leave my pastorate, I had no money, no job to go to and no hope. I was devastated, sad, tired, depressed and had a lot of questions for God for which I was receiving no answers. My name and reputation were being trashed, lies were being told and I could not answer back but had to leave my reputation with God. At that moment I was in survival mode unable to see beyond the pain – and there was nothing at that time to see! It was a simple hanging on to God and that is all. There was no great faith, no assumption of what He would do. I was just trying to survive my faith.

I now have the perspective of 30 years to look back on those painful days. It was through that pain that my theology of grace became a lifestyle of grace where I no longer needed to prove myself to God or others. It was because of those circumstances that I ended up at the national office of the EFCA, something I had no desire or intention to ever do. It was through my dark night of the soul that I started to consult with church boards and staff on healthy leaders, intentional leadership and empowered structures which in turn birthed two books, High Impact Church Boards, Leading From the Sandbox and two others.

Through the tough days I learned that God would be faithful if I would just trust Him. I let go of my need for “justice” (sometimes vengeance) and left that issue with Him. My depression led me to counseling and medication which in turn gave me great empathy for those who suffer from emotional pain on a regular basis. Slowly over time, the pain gave way to mercy, grace and a spiritual perspective and memories that once tied my stomach in knots for days became merely parts of my biography that informed who I was today. Over time, the perspective of my pain turned from that of hopelessness and suffering to one of God’s gracious grace in my life that forged a more perfect me – the me God designed me to be.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Suffering, pain and God's sovereignty

I am convinced that nothing tests our theology of God's sovereignty than when life blows up in our faces and we are left with the pain of the results. I have had my share so can speak from some experience:  dreams shattered in I my pastoral experience; being turned down for the job I presently hold, two life threatening illnesses and more. Each time I had to grapple with the questions: Is God good, is He truly sovereign? Can I trust Him with my future? and can He redeem the pain, suffering and situation that is beyond my control and use them for His purposes.

Let's face it. It is easy to talk about His sovereignty and goodness in the good times. It is far more difficult to do it in the hard times! Those of us who preach and lead and teach often have fine tuned theology for others but it is when life comes undone that we grapple with it ourselves.

Etched in my memory is January 4, 2009 when I was pulled off an aircraft in Thailand, sent to the hospital and found myself on a ventilator that evening with massive pneumonia, Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome, and septic shock - for the second time in two years. Awake that night on a ventilator with all the pain it engendered, a bad prognosis, my wife on the other side of the planet and my 21 year old son signing medical consents and knowing the odds I had to grapple with the questions above. 

It called the question: What did I really believe about God's sovereignty and Romans 8? Was God good even if I had not survived? Could I truly trust God's purposes for my life? The truth is I felt not a whit like Isaiah 40:28-31:

Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom
29 He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

I felt a lot more like David in the Psalms where he despairs of his life and his soul is utterly cast down. And I knew that I had to choose like David did in Psalm 62 to trust God in spite of everything because He is sovereign and good and present and my salvation no matter what my situation. It was a choice I made late in the night as I wrestled with God and chose a path of faith. It was not easy and I had no idea of the outcome - even whether I would survive long enough to see Mary Ann when she arrived.

There are times when life surprises us, disappoints us and frankly betrays us. It is in those times that we make a choice to either believe what we have known to be true or not. Frankly, in retrospect, I am deeply thankful that I was faced with the choice on a number of occasions because it was in the crucible that faith and truth became truly real in my life and heart. It is the testing of our faith that makes it real. Every step of faith is a step toward God and toward His truth, promises, love and faithfulness. There is no other way to truly make it real!


Sunday, February 24, 2013

Suffering and freedom


Life lived with God is a journey of becoming free. It is a journey from selfishness to selflessness, from sin to righteousness, from facades to authenticity, from living by the expectations of others to that of pleasing an audience of one, from our sinful nature to a life in the Spirit. Every step toward freedom is a step in the right direction. Jesus said, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." Freedom in Christ is a wonderful place to live.

As citizens of a world that has been interrupted by Satan, we are held captive by many things: pride; independence; materialism; success; self-sufficiency; the expectations of others; sinful habits; distractions from those things that are most important and selfish hearts.

Every time one of those captive makers are stripped from our lives we become more free, more like the person God created us to be and our hearts more like His. In a divine reversal, what we consider to be the ultimate disaster can in fact be a freedom maker.

Once I have experienced a great failure, I no longer need to worry about failing. Once I have lost my self sufficiency I no longer need to pretend I am self sufficient and am free to rely on God. Once having been humbled by suffering in its many versions, I can let go of my pride - I am forced to and it is freeing. Now I can just be me! No longer do I need to pretend I am something I am not. I am free to live with authenticity.

When I have not lived up to the expectations of others I realize that not only can I not pull that off but I don't need to. Another step toward freedom. The pain of suffering clarifies those things that are not really important in my life that I can jettison without guilt - and I am free to focus on what is truly important.

The focus of dealing with tough life situations brings to the surface sinful habits and tendencies that in my pain I realize are wrong and counterproductive. Leaving them behind gives me freedom.

In thousands of way, large and small, suffering points us toward Christ and faith and trust and humility and toward a greater life of freedom. Counter intuitively, life come undone contributes to a life of freedom.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

When dreams are shattered

It is a great gift to come to the place where we have nowhere else to turn than to God - because in the end He is what we really need and is the only One who can resolve many of the issues we face!

That is the gift that shattered dreams gives us. They force us back to the One who has our destiny in His hands, they give us the choice of turning either to bitterness or to faith, and call the question on where our security lies. Each of these is a great gift from God if we choose to respond by moving closer to God.

That is a big IF. I meet those who allow their disappointment to move them toward diminished dreams, bitterness toward God and others and a quiet resignation that this is all there will be.

Then I meet those who allow their need to build character, deepen their trust in God, re-group and rather than live with resignation, boldly fight back with the hope that comes from faith in God.

What makes the difference?

The difference comes back to how we see God. Is He truly trustworthy? Is He truly good? Can I really trust Him with my life and destiny? Do I believe that He has greater purposes for my life than I can always understand? Can He redeem pain for His glory and my benefit?

If I can say yes to those questions I will be on a path toward growth, maturity and healing that will profoundly change me. If I cannot say yes to those questions, confusion or bitterness will be the path.

The key is understanding God and that takes time in His word and in His presence. Those who make that investment have a stockpile of strength and understanding and faith that carry them through the dark days. Those who don't - don't.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Faces


Faces

Guest Writer: Amy, A ReachGlobal misionary in Tanzania
Whenever you drive into downtown Dar and stop at a major intersection, little boys run up to your car.  They are about 10 or 12 years old, and hold a jug full of soapy water and a piece of a broken windshield wiper.  As soon as your car stops, they splash water on your windshield, "wash" the window in about 10 seconds, and then hold out their hands to be paid.

I used to get annoyed at these boys.  I really didn't need my window washed two or three times in a half hour (once at each intersection), and I didn't like that they assumed I even wanted my window washed.  I also didn't like that I am always targeted because I am white.

These boys are most likely all street boys.  Runaways from abusive homes, orphans, or cast out for one reason or another, and now literally living on the street.  Which is the life that very likely my Josiah could have been living, had circumstances turned out differently for him.  And so, a couple of years ago, when one of these boys tried to wash my windshield, all of a sudden, I saw Josiah's face there instead.

And I started to cry.  And instead of shrugging him away, I paid him.  Now I do every time.

Like every other American (and much of the world), I have been thinking and praying and mourning over the terrible tragedy of 20 lost little lives in Connecticut.  But what has struck me about the situation and how it is being presented is that this tragedy is somehow unusual for our world.

Did you know that in the past couple of weeks, 700,000 refugees have fled Congo?  That they are fleeing a militia that has been bombing and burning down their villages, raping and shooting indiscriminately?  Ironically, they are fleeing into Rwanda, country where only 10 years ago, the majority tribe massacred one million of their fellow countrymen/women/children, neighbor against neighbor, and usually with machetes?

Did you know that often in Africa, children suffer a fate far worse than being gunned down by a crazy person; instead they are handed a gun, forced to murder their own parents, and then conscripted into an army to kill their own neighbors and friends?



The United States will corporately mourn those 20 little lives lost on Friday, and rightly so.  But I can't help but ask, why are those little lives so much more valuable than the ones over here?  Why do people care so much about this tragedy, and barely cast a glance at Congo?  Why is anyone surprised that such an event would occur, when it has been happening in the rest of the world since Cain and Abel?

And I'm guessing it's because that people see their own children, or themselves, in the faces of those children from Connecticut.  They can imagine what it would be like to send their own little ones off to school, only to never see them again.  But they can't imagine a crazed, drug-induced militia entering their neighborhood, raping, burning, and shooting their small children, ripping open their pregnant women before handing their 10-year-old a gun and telling him to shoot his mother or die himself.

The American children have names and faces.  The African children don't.




Adopting three African children has broken my heart for other African children in ways that I never imagined, even after growing up here.  I see children here suffering and I see my children's faces instead.  I think about my children starving, alone, frightened, separated from their families by tragedy, fighting in wars.  Or even just living on the street, trying to make enough money for a meal by washing car windows.

So yes, mourn this tragedy, America.  See your children's faces in the newscasts and hug your own children tighter today.  But don't forget the millions of children and families who endure even worse things every day.  Adopt a child.  Sponsor a child.  Send money to churches in Rwanda who are helping the Congolese.

And remember that we're not celebrating Christmas because of the warm fuzzies and fun and sugar plums.   We celebrate Christmas because our world is desperately, horrifically, tragically broken and our only hope is in Jesus Christ.

A thrill of hope; a weary world rejoices.  For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!

Friday, September 7, 2012

The real test of the depth of our faith

Here is an interesting question to ponder. What is the real test of the depth of our faith? One could answer the number of years we have walked with Christ. Or, the depth of our theology. Perhaps the ministries we have been involved in. Our work for Jesus.

I don't think it is any of those and I don't think it is dependent on how long we have been Christ followers.

The real test of the depth of our faith is when we face a situation or adversity where all of our own resources have been exhausted and we choose to trust God for the outcome no matter what it is. That is the point at which our true depth is tested and revealed. Not in the good times but in the very tough times.

It is in those times when we must grapple with the question of whether God is sovereign over our lives and if yes, if He is also good, no matter what the outcome. It is in those times when we must choose His hope over our despair and trust over disillusionment or bitterness. I have watched young believers respond with amazing faith and old believers with bitterness toward God. When adversity comes, the true depth of our faith is revealed - without exception.

In an ancient day, when calamity was about to come on the people of Judah, God's man Habakkuk said this:

"Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food, 
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls, 
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights"
Habakkuk 3:17-19

Habakkuk passed the test. Will we and do we? Life is very complicated and inevitably we come to those junctures and seasons where we have exhausted our own resources. Then life becomes amazingly simple: do we trust Him with the simple Child like faith that Jesus spoke of - and in the end - that is the deepest faith.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

The heart of a Christian leader: sacrificial service



I have recently been mulling on the words that Paul wrote to the Corinthians in 2 Corinthians 6:3-10 and their implications for Christian leaders everywhere. The Corinthians were not an easy bunch to minister to. They were full of themselves it seems and rather ungrateful for Paul's ministry to them. He had opened his heart to them but they not to him (2 Cor. 6:11-13). All of us can relate to that at times in leadership.


Read carefully what he said about how he ministered to them.


"We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be descredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of god with weapons of righteousness in the right and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as imposters; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed: sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything."


These themes stand out:


- A life and ministry that are above reproach
- Kindness and patience toward those he ministered to
- A life lived in the presence and power of God
- A willingness to suffer hardship for the sake of the Gospel
- A spirit of joy in spite of those hardships


There was no sense of entitlement on Paul's part. Rather, there was a willingness to endure hardship, misunderstanding and physical deprivation for the Gospel. He did not envy those who had more (the Corinthian church was wealthy) because he understood what he did have in spite of all his difficulties. He took a humble posture even toward those who had a posture of pride.

This is evident from the last sentence which is profound: "having nothing and yet possessing everything."  He fully understood that whatever his personal circumstances he actually possessed everything in Jesus. 


It is very easy in ministry leadership to feel sorry for ourselves, to think about what we do not have that others have and to feel a sense of entitlement and pride. But the heart of a true Christian leader is one of sacrificial service that gets its true satisfaction from the One we serve.


I want the heart of Paul because it is the heart of Jesus.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Prayers of the People

For Brook, Heather, Paige, and Roger who all need our prayers.


I have the joy on occasion to attend an evangelical Anglican church. One of the things I deeply appreciate in their services is the emphasis on prayer. Prayers of the people, prayers of confession and prayers of praise. In many ways we have lost the emphasis on prayer in many of our evangelical churches.


My family knows the power of united prayer for without the prayers of many during my long illness of 2007-2008 and then again in early 2009, I would not be alive. Medical doctors cannot explain how I was healed. They know it was miraculous. 


The story can be read in When Life Comes Undone: Walking by Faith when Life is Hard and Hope is Scarce. The truth is that these situations come to us all at one time or another. The question when they come is do we have a group of friends who will pray passionately for our situation?


We take the power of prayer too lightly, at least in the west where we can rely on our own resources to fix things. But even with us, there comes a time when we have no other resource but Jesus. None. 


As I often say, "It is a wonderful thing to come to the place where we have nothing else to rely on but God. When all of our resources are  exhausted as eventually they are we have the one thing we have had all along: Jesus. And He is enough." I would not have said that before my own dark night of the soul but I have learned that not only is He enough but He is the single most important thing I need.


One of the greatest gifts we can give those around us is to become people of prayer for them. To lift those up in our circles who are hurting, who are sick, who are without hope, who are grieving or dealing with whatever real life has dealt them. It takes intentionality on our part but it is the very gift that we would ask for in our own dark night.


Prayer bring hope, it may well bring healing. It always brings the presence of a loving father. It brings us and those we pray for into the very throne room of the Lord of the universe. It brings a smile to God's face and a blessing on those we pray for. It is a hidden gift in that those we lift up may never know this side of eternity but they will know one day. 


We need one another and Jesus far more than we know. Let's lift up those who are need of God's intervention on a daily basis. Prayers of the people are beautiful on Sundays and necessary every day.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Quiet, patient, faithful courage

There are a segment among us who we need to encourage and give honor to. It is those who live with long term illness and pain and who endure it with patient, faithful courage. The cross they take up daily is a hard one because for many it is a constant one all day, every day.


Few things train us to trust God more fully than ongoing unremitting pain. Paul prayed that God would take His away and God declined saying that His strength was made perfect in His weakness. My dear friend Ann lives with it as she struggles with cancer treatments as does another friend Roger. 


What amazes me is how they handle it with a grace that seems supernatural - and that is exactly the case. It is the daily presence of Jesus and their trust in Him which makes all the difference. But the choice to press into Him daily is no less hard.


My friend, Joni Erikson Tada talks about the inner struggle she faces every morning when she wakes up and has to face the long and painful process of getting ready for her day. Every day she must make a choice and many days it is a hard choice that is a matter of sheer will.


The church needs to come alongside those who struggle with ongoing unremitting pain. Prayer, visits, practical help, meals, words of encouragement (and not flip encouragement or glib statements about God's presence). 


I pray for those who live a quiet, patient, faithful and courageous life with deep pain. I count them as heroes who know what it is to walk a hard path. I count them lucky for the grace they daily experience in the hard places. Don't ignore those in your midst who walk this path.



Sunday, April 8, 2012

Jesus and our pain


Guest blogger and partner, Mary Ann Addington
Co-Author of When Life Comes Undone

Last night as I was getting ready to fall asleep I was listening to 
John 11 from the YouVersion  app (LifeChurch TV).  It was one of those times when hearing it delivered in a novel way helped me to understand it in a new light.  

Three things stood out in a new way: First, how intentional Jesus was in letting Lazarus die.  Verse 5-6,”Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.  So that when he heard that he was sick, He stayed two days longer in the place where he was.”  Jesus had a purpose in allowing Lazarus to die and He knew that He would raise Lazarus from the dead.

Second, Jesus wept.  John 11:35 is the verse all kids love to get credit for memorizing.   Jesus had been confronted by Martha and then Mary for not showing up when they needed him and allowing their brother to die.  Jesus is not offended by their rebuke and gently reminds Martha that He is the resurrection and the life.   Mary, Martha, and Lazarus’s home in Bethany was a place where Jesus could just hang out over a good meal and enjoy the human pleasure of friendship.  When Jesus wept it was not for the death of a friend that he loved because he already knew that Lazarus would live again, but He wept for the pain in the hearts of his friends.

Third, Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and in doing so triggered the conspiracy by the chief priests and Pharisees to kill him.  It would have been a whole lot simpler to stay on the banks of the Jordan River and avoid that whole mess.

Like Martha and Mary there have been times in life when I have asked, “Why Lord?  Why did I have miscarriages instead of daughters?  Why did my mom have to die a long and painful death after a car accident?  Why do we still live with the results of serious illness? Why do we have to live with pain?   I don’t get why you allow babies to die, why people I love suffer and die; why there is so much cruelty and injustice.”  We all have heard people say if God is so good why does he allow bad things to happen to good people?  Why does life hurt so much some times?

In allowing evil God allowed each of us to choose to love Him and live for Him.  In coming to earth and dying and rising again Jesus provided the ultimate solution for evil and the opportunity for each of us to “rise again on the last day,” as Martha said.  

God could intervene in every situation and save us from them, but chose instead to provide a much bigger solution that lasts for eternity.  It would have been a lot less messy for Jesus never to enter into our problem of pain and evil and to suffer and die for a problem he had nothing to do with starting.  He could have stayed distant and fixed millions of painful situations without feeling the pain or effort of really getting in the mess of life with us.

Jesus wept.  Not for his loss, but for our pain.  When we cry out in pain, Jesus weeps with us.  He fully bought into our brokenness and he walks with us through the mess of our pain.  Sometimes when a prayer group I am a part of is praying for a victim of abuse or other hard situations we will ask them to ask Jesus where he was when it was happening .  So far, in our experience, they can always find him and he is always weeping with them in their pain.

Jesus came to earth and got into the messy business of humans.  Jesus suffered and died a messy death to provide a solution for the ultimate cause of our pain.  Jesus rose again bringing the promise of our own resurrection and eternal life.  Jesus wept and still weeps with us in our pain.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Things are not always what they appear to be!

One of the lessons of Good Friday is that what appears to be true is not always true. On this day the cosmic battle between Satan and God culminated in what Satan thought was his greatest victory. That battle had been waged from the time of the fall (Genesis 3:15) where God made it clear that one day Satan would be defeated. But on this day, Satan knew he had won. The Son of God is on the cross, alone, abandoned even by His Father who didn't seem able to rescue Him. Thirty pieces of silver was all it had taken, the best deal ever in the history of evil.

The disciples knew it was over. Jesus' friends knew it was over. The Jewish authorities knew it was over - their problem solved, a rival gone. Not only that but for those who cared, evil had won over good and righteousness. For the followers of Christ, this was the ultimate sadness. They had expected righteousness to triumph and instead, evil had prevailed. The one who had called Himself the Son of God, dead on a bitter cross. 



Little did they know that what appeared to be the final chapter was only the beginning of a new chapter because out of the jaws of apparent defeat, Christ would not only be resurrected but in that resurrection he sealed the fate of Satan and evil and unrighteousness for all time and made it possible for the created to have a relationship with the creator. Apparent defeat was only the prelude to total victory! 

Not for one moment had the events of Good Friday been out of the control of the heavenly Father even though it looked like the Father had lost all control. He is sovereign and nothing under His control can ever be out of control. The world learned that on Easter Sunday.


Think about your own life for a moment. Where are the areas that seem to be out of control? Where does it feel like evil has won? Where are the apparent areas where you feel defeat, discouragement, sadness or pain? It is easy to see the Good Friday moments in our lives when it is clear that God has not acted and we need His help. It is harder to wait for the resurrection moments when God shows up as He always does and redeems what we thought was unredeemable - often in surprising and unique ways.


Whatever your circumstance you can be sure that Easter is coming and that things are not always what they appear to be. In the end, nothing that is in His control can ever be out of control and God always prevails. Our job is to walk by faith in the Good Friday moments of life when life is hard and hope is scarce, waiting for our Easter to arrive when He shows up and redeems our situation. The fun thing about Easter was that it was such a surprise. Invite Jesus to surprise you in your situation today.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

The church needs persecution to stay healthy

Persecution is good for the health of the church. In some ways I don't like that but my experience is and church history tells us that when the church is under pressure it sheds its baggage and rises to the occasion in serious faith. It also separates those who are cultural Christians and serious Christ followers. 


Serious Christianity brings persecution because it is a threat to Satan's territory. When the church is not challenged it often becomes stagnant and is no longer a threat to the evil one. The experience of the early church as recorded in Acts is evidence that persecution lights a fire under the church and the church on fire results in persecution.


In China the church under communism flourished. In Iran today, the church under pressure is growing. In Saudi Arabia under extreme pressure, cell groups are springing up. Indian Christians have significant persecution in many parts of their country and the church is growing regularly. 


Contrast that with the relative limited impact the church in the west has today where it is easy to be a believer and where there is little cost associated with following Jesus. When faith is easy, it is also often shallow. When it requires a cost, it goes deep and calls the question as to our sincerity in following our Lord.


There are many parts of the world where suffering for faith is considered a mark of honor. Paul expressed that sentiment when he talked about sharing in the sufferings of Christ. Jesus promised that those who followed him would be subject to persecution and ill treatment. That is why He spoke of taking up His cross and following Him.


I do not pray that the church would be free from persecution. I pray that God would build His church and whatever it takes for that to happen is to the church's advantage. I also believe that it is going to take pressure on the church in the west if it is going to become vibrant again. 

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Failures and disappointments are often God's redirection

Our ability to see the full scope of our lives and God's plan is amazingly limited. As Paul says, we see through a glass darkly but will one day see Him face to face. Because of our limited view, we often do not see that the failures and disappointments we face are nothing other than God's redirection of our lives to those places where He can use us the most.

Consider Moses who failed at being an Egyptian prince so God could use him to lead the people out of bondage. Or, Joseph who failed at being a brother so that he could save his whole family from famine. My greatest perceived failure brought me to where I am today, and right where I believe God wants me to be. As the book of Proverbs says, "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps (Proverbs 16:9)." How often God has redirected my steps in ways that I did not understand at the time but in retrospect have more clarity.


This ought to cause us to ask in failure and disappointment, "Is God up to something?" "Does He have something in mind that is greater than our disappointment?" Since He establishes our steps and has our best interests in mind, chances are He does. 


This allows us to change our prayer from "why?" to "What?" Obviously God has something different for us than we expected, the question is "what is it?" Asking why keeps us focused on our disappointment while asking what focuses on God's intentions and what He has for us next. Two very different perspectives that lead to two very different attitudes.


Here is something we know for sure: God is always up to something, even in our failures and disappointments. We are never abandoned or left alone so even in the worst place we can look with anticipation at what He has for us. This truth gives us the courage to move forward even in dark days. We know He is up to something, we just don't know what - yet!

Friday, December 30, 2011

His mercies are new every morning

In every situation we face in life, we have two choices: to focus on our issues and problems or to focus on God's mercy and faithfulness. Which we focus on determines our attitude, response and faith. 


We often sing the great hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness but many do not know the origins of that hymn. The year was about 586 BC and the Babylonians had just conquered Judah, destroyed the city, torn down the wall, decimated the temple and carried most of the population into captivity. 


The prophet Jeremiah is wandering through the wreckage of what had been Jerusalem, now a burned, destroyed hulk of a city. There was nothing to be joyful about. The sin of the people had brought the judgement of God after many warnings. So distraught was Jeremiah that the short book he wrote is called Lamentations meaning sorrows.


But in the middle of that song of sorrow, Jeremiah makes this profound statement:


Yet, this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord's great love
we are not consumed, 
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion,
therefore I will wait for him."
(Lamentations 3:21-24)

There is a reason the hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness, is sung at funerals and in seasons of turmoil. Like Jeremiah this is when we most need to remember and trust in the faithfulness of God. 

Whatever our situation today. However discouraging it may be. However great our anxiety or sorrow we can say with Jeremiah, "Great is your faithfulness" and allow that to be the basis of our hope, our trust, and a better future. Not only that but "His compassions never fail and are new every morning." There is no new day we face where we do not experience the mercies and compassions of our faithful father.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Dear Dad

We often do not realize that of the seven billion people on our planet,  one billion of us are impacted by disabilities, either personally or in our families. How we love, include, treat, care for and honor those with disabilities is a huge indicator of our understanding of the Gospel. All people are made in God's image, all are equally important to Him and all have an equal purpose in His plan. We acknowledge those truths by treating those with disabilities as Jesus did and loving them as Jesus did.


Longtime friends of ours, Barb and Tim are living with the realities of Tim's struggle with ALS. She is a great writer and this recent blog of hers caught my eye because it captures the heart that all of us ought to have in caring for those with disabilities. It is a heart of love and thanks in the midst of tough realities.



Dear Dad~
I miss you so much just now. It's been more than 10 years since you've gone to see Jesus. I certainly do wish there were times when I could still talk to you. Especially now.
When you were here on earth with me, we never took the time to talk about your handicap. You never told me what it was like to go through having a major stroke. You never told me what it was like when all of a sudden half of your body refused to work anymore. You never told me what it was like to try parenting your kids after such a tragic event. I am finding myself in a place where I sure could use your advice on those things!
For all these years, I've always thought God put me in my place in our family for a couple different reasons. First, I thought I was there to be your incentive to get better. After all, I was only two years old when you suffered your stroke. You had to get better in order to take care of me and to play with me, your baby girl. (A little self-centered purpose, I suppose.)
I have also come to think of my place in our family as God's protection of sorts. Knowing how much everyone else in the family kind of fell apart after your stroke, I have, again selfishly, thought God placed me so late after Kris so that I would be spared that pain. I was so much younger that I wasn't even aware really of what was happening in our family. I was not pulled into the whirlwind of chaos that they were sucked into.
So as I grew up, everything after your stroke was normal to me. To all my sisters and brothers, everything had dramatically changed. There was a "before" and an "after". But not for me. It was normal to see you limp as you walked. It was normal that your left arm was always in a sling. It was normal to watch Mom comb your hair and clip your fingernails. It was normal to have someone cut your meat for you. I never thought twice about any of those things.
But, Dad, I have realized that though my first thoughts are still correct, I must now add another reason for my place in our family. God put me in our family, growing up with handicap as normal so that now I am just reverting back to my "normal" to comb Tim's hair, to clip his nails, to feed him his lunch, to help him dress and undress. It was God's way of preparing me for what's happening right now.
And I also need to add to the long list of things you taught me: You taught me how to help people in a way that is compassionate and preserves their dignity. It really is no big deal for me to help Tim on a daily basis - and it is thanks to you for that. Growing up around a handicap that seemed normal was one of your biggest gifts to me. Thanks for not talking about it. That kept it just a normal part of my daily life.
And can you thank our Father in heaven for me too? Not only did he place me in our family to help you recover from your stroke and to protect me from the aftermath of that stroke, I have just realized that he placed me in our family to prepare me for the journey I am walking right now. It's truly amazing how something so tragic so long ago can be used in such a powerful way almost 40 years later! He really is an amazing God that way.
I am envious that Tim will join you so much sooner than I will. Be sure to show him the best fishing spots you've found so far. It wouldn't surprise me if you have already met Tim's grandpa and you're planning your first fishing trip together for when he joins you! I miss you so much, but am happy that you are hanging with Jesus!
Love you,
Your little girl

If you would like to follow this couples journey, you may do so at Life Stitches. I honor those like Barb and Tim who walk the path of suffering with dignity and faith.