I feel like a failure as a leader

In my role as an organizational leader or consultant with other organizations it is not unusual to tell leaders that they are not in their ideal lane or playing to their skill set. This may be a pastor who cannot and does not manage staff, organizational leaders that are ineffective in determining how to accomplish their vision or leaders who have no idea how the shadow side of their strengths disempowers others. Often, the conversation about "lanes" and sweet spots is a result of being asked to help solve issues within the organization that are a result of a leader being out of their lane.

Here is the common but totally wrong response: "I have failed as a leader." Why wrong? Because all of us will generally be substandard at those things God did not wire us to do. We were wired on purpose by God to do the "good works" he designed specifically for us and gifted for that purpose (Ephesians 2:10). Of course we will be successful if we apply ourselves at those things He designed us for and conversely we will be poor at those things He did not design us for.

When we are not in our lane, and don't do well, the solution is not to work harder, longer or try to learn a new set of wiring. Rather it is to acknowledge how God created and designed us and get into a role that is inside the lane He designed us to play. When we work in the wrong lane we frustrate ourselves and those around us. When we run in the lane He designed us for we flourish and do well. 

Getting in our lane requires us to understand first what we are not good at and accept it. Some years ago I interviewed many members of an organizations staff and then shared with the leader what he was really good at and what he was really bad at. One of his first concerns was that his staff not know the weaknesses he had! The humor in it was that I knew about those weaknesses because his staff shared them with me. Yet he was not comfortable admitting that he had weaknesses. This is not only insecurity but bad theology because God gave us a gift or gifts but not more than a few. My staff will readily tell me what I don't do well and they work hard to keep me out of those lanes so their lives are easier!

It also means that we focus on those things we are good at and allow others to do what we are not good at. Usually, when leaders get into things that they are not gifted for they create chaos and disempowerment by doing so. Staff want to say, "Don't do that! You just put your nose into things that I can do very well and which you don't. Stay in your lane!" If you are a secure leader, simply ask your staff for examples where you operate out of your lane of giftedness and create problems for them. Pastors are often guilty of disempowering staff by getting into things that others are tasked with and which others also do much better than they.

If you are out of your lane, don't feel like you have failed as a leader. Rather, work to get into a place where you are playing to your strengths and don't assume you should be great at everything. You are not. No one is. Often our failure is simply in not understanding or accepting the lane God made us for. 

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Thoughts on Fergusun

A moving blog from the Gospel Coalition

A surprising map of the world's most and least religiously diverse countries

See this very helpful article on religious diversity across our globe. You may well be surprised.

A surprising map of the world's most and least religiously diverse countries

It was not a surprise to God

I have a dear friend who I had the joy of leading to Christ many years ago. This week I received news that he has been diagnosed with stage four prostate cancer - although treatable. He had gone in for surgery on a disc and in the course of the surgery they discovered a tumor from the unknown cancer. Upon awakening the doctor had to tell him that the rather routine surgery had discovered something really serious. My friend's reply to this surprise was "Well, God was not surprised!"

That response is one that applies to all of the surprises in life and leadership. We may be surprised but God is never surprised. That truth can give us confidence to trust Him for the very things that cause us anxiety and concern. Nothing surprises God and therefore we can be assured that He can help us work through our issues as a sovereign and faithful God.

Think of the largest issues you have faced - or face right now. The news may seem overwhelming as for my friend. Then remember: God was not surprised. In fact, nothing happens in our lives, good or bad, which does not first pass by the hands of God and which He does not use to build our faith. He knows, He cares and He superintends the outcome for His purposes. That ought to give us a quiet settled confidence not matter the situation. 

A life posture of humility

Scripture has a great deal to say about humility as this trait is deeply valued by God as opposed to a posture of pride. Psalm 131:1 says it well: my heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty. I do not concern myself with great matters, or things too wonderful for me."

Humility is a posture toward God and life. It includes the concept that there are many things we don't know and many things that we cannot know in relation to God who knows all things. Above all it is a posture of trust in God rather than in ourselves.

Psalm 131:2 says, "I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me." Humility is dependence on God, just as a young child is dependent on its mother and trusts his/her mother for one's daily needs. 

We often think that the best and brightest are those who know all the answers, are self sufficient, self made and have it all together. God says  not! The best and the brightest understand that a posture of humility rather than pride is what God looks for. And that is based on a posture of dependence on God rather than independence from Him.

Our hope is not in ourselves. Our wisdom comes from above. Our provision is a gift of God. As the Psalmist concludes, "put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore. It is a life posture of humility.

Change is often necessary but the process we use will either create greater unity or dissention

Bringing change is a tricky business. Often the need for change, whether in a church or organization is profound. The world never stops changing and therefore while our eternal truths remain the same, change is inevitable. However, many change processes are deeply flawed and lead to the ministry taking steps back - and conflict rather than the intended result of leading it forward in unity.

I watch this often in churches where a pastor, often new decides that new ways of doing ministry are needed. What they often forget is that those who have been there a long while are used to what is. It is comfortable for them and most people simply don't like change. Here are some of the mistakes I watch in churches and organizations make leaders bring change.

1. They move too quickly. Just because the leader is ready to bring change does not mean their people are. Fast change is usually going to bring conflict, misunderstanding and even deep division within the organization. I have watched congregations literally lose half of their people when quick changes were made.

2. They don't talk and dialogue with their people at length before the change. People have strong opinions and feelings. If one can present a case for change that makes sense, most people will go with you but only if they have been part of the process and understand the end goal. The less dialogue up front, the more resistance there will be. Because that resistance is often an emotional response, it can cause emotional responses that are strong.

3. They don't take into account the various constituencies of the group. Sometimes it is wise to move in new directions without disenfranchising those who are vested in a different paradigm. Examples in the church might be worship styles or a desire to start small groups. Simply chopping out the old and putting in the new when it disenfranchises a significant segment of people is not wise. This is where patience and process is needed to get where you need to go without creating conflict and irritation.

4. They don't admit when significant resistance comes that the execution might be flawed. Sometimes one needs to take a step back before one can make a step forward. If people are balking it probably means that the change has been too fast, that process was not run and that some "compromises" need to be made. One can only move as fast as the organization is willing to follow. Significant resistance is a sign that you may need to evaluate the plan. I am not talking a few loud voices but significant groups.

5. They see resistors as "evil" or "bad" rather than understanding that often this is not the case. This further divides the group into those who support and those who oppose which then fractures relationships. When we categorize people we lose relationship and relationships are keys to major change. This is further complicated when leaders start to discount the opinions of those who resist.

Change is always an art. It is the art of helping people see where we could go and that in order to get there change is needed. But, the five mistakes above can be deadly if they are not taken into account. It is the job of leaders who bring change to ensure that it is done in a timely, wise, relational and healthy way so that the end product is both greater effectiveness and greater unity.

Transitioning: How to transition well when it is time for a leader to leave their position

This is a podcast from Leary Gates and guest Roger Thompson on what it means to transition well. Going out at the top of your game!

Podcast on transitioning