When congregations don't let leaders deal with staff issues

There are many congregations that make it very hard for their leaders to lead. In doing so, they severely hinder leaders from carrying out their Biblical leadership mandate, and just as importantly hinder the congregation from maximizing its ministry opportunity. Let me share a real life example that I have seen played out a number of times. While the example is specific to a staff situation, the principles apply to many situations that leaders face.

The Scenario:
A board must deal with a staff situation where a staff member no longer fits the ministry, is not performing well or is uncooperative with the senior pastor. In either case, the senior pastor or leadership board must help make a staff transition if the ministry is going to move forward. These are always hard issues for a senior leader and for a leadership board.

The board works to help the staff member move to another ministry and does so with grace and a healthy process. An announcement is made that honors the staff member and indicates that he/she will be leaving the church. Immediately, leaders start to get calls from members of the church. There is pressure to change the decision and there is pressure to explain why the decision was made.

When leaders indicate that the decision has been made after prayer, discussion and with due process, they then receive a letter from the "loyal opposition" in the church calling for a congregational meeting to discuss the situation. This comes out of a faulty understanding of "congregationalism" where it is believed that all decisions of the church must be discussed and decided by the congregation and that they have the right to weigh in on any decision. (There are several blog entries under the lable of "congregationalism" that address this issue).

The problem

In doing this, the congregation (or members of the congregation) place the leadership board in an impossible situation. First, they deny the leadership the ability to lead. Leadership is not about taking a poll and simply doing what the majority of the group want to do. Biblically, leaders are called to oversee the health and direction of the congregation. And, as they lead, congregations are asked to cooperate with their leaders so that their leadership is a joy and not a burden (Hebrews 13:17-18).

Second, to say to leaders that you cannot make staff decisions is to handcuff them and create a culture that is permission withholding rather than permission granting. In other words, you cannot make key decisions without our permission.

This actually stems from a posture of mistrust toward leaders which is prevalent in many churches but which violates the culture that the New Testament describes for the church. Essentially it is importing the mistrust that society has for its political leaders and importing it into the church. The church, however, is to have a culture of trust rather than mistrust.

Third, how do leaders discuss staff issues (performance, cooperation, effectiveness) in public? Why would we assume that those discussions are private in the workplace but public in the church? From a legal perspective you cannot do that, nor does it honor the individual involved. So in asking for "all the information" from leaders, congregations place their leaders in an impossible bind. They are not free to share "all the information," nor should they.

Even if the information was freely shared (lawsuit anyone?) how is a congregation supposed to process that information? They are not the supervisor of the staff, they do not know the dynamics of the staff and they cannot resolve issues that there may be.

The congregation is asking its leaders to disclose what they cannot and should not disclose, and insisting that they get to make the decision even though they do not have the information and should not have the information and are coming at the issue from a position of mistrust (otherwise why are they challenging the decision?).

Why would anyone choose to lead in a setting like that and why would we assume that a congregation with this culture would flourish in ministry? You cannot handcuff leaders and honor God and you cannot handcuff leaders and be effective.

Should a senior pastor know what people give in the local church?

OK, I acknowledge that this blog will be controversial to some and runs against "conventional wisdom." The truth is that conventional wisdom is not always wisdom. So I will wade in and at least raise some issues to consider.

As one who has helped many churches raise funds for capital projects and consulted with churches on other issues I have often been privy to giving information. I have also had the privilege of working with very generous individuals in a development capacity. It is against that background that I raise this issue.

If I were a senior pastor today, I would want to know what individuals in the church were giving for these reasons:

So I can thank them
Think about this. We thank people who use their gifts of teaching, leadership, administration, care and those who make sacrificial personal investments in ministry but because of our "taboo" on knowing what people give it is usually not possible to sit down with someone who has been extraordinarily generous and thank them - and tell them how their investments in the ministry are making a difference.

Many generous individuals give large sums of money outside of their local church - which is to be expected. But when they do, someone says "thank you" and "let me tell you how your dollars are making a difference." That is not the motivation to give but it is a real encouragement when someone does give. We do not encourage those who give generously in the church enough - especially when a senior leader does not know who to thank.

So I understand their spiritual commitments
The commitment of being generous to God is a very direct indicator of spiritual commitments and maturity. As a leader I would never want to place someone in a leadership position who was not a regular giver because it tells me something about where their heart is. If you doubt that connection, just pay attention to how much Jesus talks about the heart, money and the connection between the two.

I would not want someone in leadership who did not have a devotional life, who was not committed to personal growth, or who is stingy with God. It is an indicator of immaturity and immaturity does not fly in church leadership.

So I know how much to listen if someone is in serious disagreement with leaders or church direction
Read this section carefully. I am not saying that we pay attention to those who have money more than we pay attention to those who do not. But here is an interesting observation that I make from experience. It is not unusual for someone who is perceived to have money to use that perception to try to influence decisions that are made.

Let me give you an example. A church I was working with was entering into a major expansion project. An individual who was perceived to have means was a vocal opponent and would not let go of his opposition. When we looked to see what his giving record was, he was giving nothing to the church - which would have shocked many.

Now why would a church leader take someone seriously who had no stake in the ministry? In fact, why would a church leader who is responsible for the spiritual health of the flock, not sit down with someone like that and confront him with the fact that he is not living in obedience in a major area of his life and that until he does, he does not have the credibility to speak to the issue?

We would have a conversation if someone's marriage was on the rocks, if they were involved in pornography, or living in conflict with someone - so why would we not have a conversation if they are ignoring this area of Christian obedience? In my experience, and this should not surprise us, it is those who do not have a commitment to giving - often who are in leadership positions in the church who most vocably argue that no one should know what people give. Isn't that telling?

So that I would know if there are spiritual issues that need to be addressed
People who do not give are hiding deeper spiritual issues in their lives. Generosity with God is such a basic and fundamental indication of commitment to Him and maturity in our walk with him that the lack of it - from those who would otherwise claim to be fully devoted followers is an indication of deeper spiritual issues. If I care about people and their spiritual commitments I would be concerned about the lack of obedience in this area of life.

We would lovingly talk to someone who started to ignore church attendance or someone whose marriage seemed to be on the rocks, or someone who seemed to be straying in some other area of life. So why would we not lovingly talk to someone whose spiritual claims are not matched by their personal commitments in the area of giving?

But, Scripture says no one should know what we give
Actually, Scripture does not say that. It says that we should not trumpet what we give for purposes of being praised, just as Jesus criticized the pharisees for praying and fasting in pubic for the purpose of "looking spiritual."

Why are we willing for a pastor to know the intimate details of the troubles we face but not a key area of our spiritual lives?

But, if the pastor knows what someone gives he will treat them differently than others
That could be true, but not in the sense that one might think. If as a pastor I knew someone did not have a commitment to giving to their church I would indeed make a judgment and it would be that there is not a stake in the ministry. At the same time, knowing that someone does have a financial stake in the ministry tells me something about their spiritual maturity and commitment to the church. The issue is not whether they are a wealthy giver or a modest giver, it is the fact that they are living in obedience in this core area and have a commitment to the ministry.

Scripture says that we do not treat people differently because they are wealthy or poor. It does not say that we listen to everyone equally. I listen to those who have a stake in the ministry and a commitment to the ministry as demonstrated by their participation, the use of their gifts, their giving and their time and energy on behalf of the ministry. Those are also the only ones that I would entrust to place in leadership positions - which is consistent with New Testament teaching.

I raise these issues for your consideration. I know that not all will agree and some will strongly disagree. But it is something to think about.

Advice for young leaders

Contributing Writer: Lindsay NormanI often find that young leaders are enthusiastic to be mentored and to learn. There are books and materials for individuals already in leadership roles, but significantly less material that covers how young leaders can grow to their potential. Here is what I have found helpful as I intentionally walk the road to develop my full capacity.

Get a Mentor

Only after having a few mentors in my life can I look back and say this has been, and continues to be, one of the most pivotal elements to growing as a leader. I had mentors in leadership roles who recognized I was a leader years before I did. Feedback I received from one of my mentors was, “Lindsay, you need to be in a role where you are standing on your tip toes every day. Be in a role that is just out of reach the majority of the time so that you are challenged.”

Mentors listen, love and speak into your life. The best part about them is that the relationship is judgment free. The purpose of mentoring is to come along side and be a life coach. The assumption is already there that the “mentee” is learning and growing. It is assumed there will be bumps along the way to growth. That removes the judgment factor. It’s assumed we will mess up! The mentor is there, not to prevent you from messing up, but to help process through why and help you look to the future.

Consider yourself a learner

Every leader goes through an extraordinary amount of learning. Learning about the organization, about other leaders, former leaders, and most importantly, learning about yourself are all critical pieces to development. It is difficult to made effective decisions as a leader if you don’t understand the ethos, mission and vision of the organization.

It is equally difficult to lead well if you don’t understand how the other leaders lead. For the sake of optimal effectiveness as a young leader, I don’t want to be making decisions regarding circumstances that are the responsibility of other leaders.

Finally, and I believe most importantly, a potential leader must learn about themselves. As an upcoming leader, the question must be asked, “How am I wired? Where are my strengths? What am I passionate and really good at? What energizes me?”

This can be done through self-knowledge tools like executive testing or other tools like Myers-Briggs, Gallops StrengthsFinders, or the Firo-B. This can also be done by engaging with a life or work mentor/coach who you trust and who knows you well. There is a great deal of resources on the Internet and in books stores that are available today to help us learn about ourselves.

Learn from Mistakes

It is nice when others make the mistakes before we do, isn’t it? As a potential leader, it is critical to learn from the “dumb tax” others have paid. Believe me, you’ll pay your own dumb tax, you don’t need to pay the same tax as others. As you see mistakes or learn from others past mistakes, ask yourself these questions, “Why did that happen? What were the circumstances? What were the decisions that led up to that mistakes? Who was involved? How can I learn from that mistake?”

As a potential leader, look at the mistake from every angle. Critically think through the situation. And most importantly, don’t judge! You will have your opportunity to make your own mistakes! Mistakes are good. The shape, mold, and sharpen us in our thinking, strategies and leadership. Mistakes by ourselves or others should not be dismissed before a thorough autopsy has taken place. The more learning that takes place early in your leadership development, the more effectively you can navigate leadership in the future.

Take Risks

At some point, the bird knocks the baby out of the nest! Why? Because they need to grow, mature and face the realities of the world. As a leader, in order for us to develop, we need to begin making decisions.

I would recommend making decisions after having organizational context (don’t jump into a leadership role and start making decisions with gaining context and playing the role of “learner”) and touching base with a mentor or supervisor. I don’t touch base with a supervisor because I want them to make the decision for me. I touch base with my supervisor or mentor/coach because I want to process my plan of action and decision-making with them.

By doing this, it allows them to speak into any other aspects I haven’t thought of. It allows me to practice decision-making before the decision actually gets made. After doing this a number of times, a potential leader should be learning about all the factors necessary for a good decision. Eventually, independent decisions can be made. This process also builds the trust of your supervisor that your judgment can be trusted.

Growth can’t be done without taking risks. Good mentor/coaches will also encourage you to take risks. How do you learn unless you try?

Ask Questions

As a potential leader, I don’t have all the answers. Yes, you heard me correctly. I can draw on my own experience and on my knowledge of the organization, but that only gets me so far.

Questions need to be asked for the purpose of further understanding and for information to make good decisions. Again, having a good mentor/coach or a supervisor who is intentional about your leadership growth is critical so you can ask questions without judgment.

Knowing where and when to ask question is equally important. If I am in a meeting with all organizational leaders and I am finding that I don’t understand something, I often make a note to myself and ask someone at a break, especially if it is evident that all others in the room are following the conversation. On the other hand, if I am “picking up” that others may have questions like I do, I will ask. If you want to grow as a leader, listening and asking questions is important.

EQ – So Important!

Where do I communicate skepticism about a process, policy or decision that has been made? When do I ask tough questions about other leaders or the organization as a whole? What is my role in the organization? Where do I vent? When and how do I support decisions even if I don’t fully agree with them?

Knowing how to answer and navigate these questions is a direct reflection on your emotional intelligence (EQ). As an up and coming leader, observing, listening, asking questions, and dedicating yourself to learning should help you get a feel for how to answer these questions. Many times, these questions should be directed toward your mentor/coach who can help you navigate the situation.

If you are going to create trust with other leaders and coworkers, how you navigate these questions is critical. The answers will differ depending on the organization or ministry you serve in, the communication process in place, the leaders within that organization, and the trust that is built into that organization or ministry. It is difficult to verbally ask some of these questions to others if you are not trusted or if you do not trust the leadership. More importantly than knowing when to ask these questions is knowing WHEN NOT to ask these questions.

Emotional, spiritual and physical refreshment

One of the greatest gifts I ever received came ten years ago when my friend, Grant, took me fly fishing on the Gallatin River in Montana. This is the river where the wonderful film “A River Runs Through it” was filmed. Since that time we have vacationed every year in Big Sky where I am now.

All year I look forward to Montana. I want to walk the Gallatin and the streams looking for that special trout. As satisfying as outfoxing the rainbow is the fresh air, mountains, running water, wildlife and the wonderful exhaustion that comes at the end of a full day. Two to four weeks in Montana can bring a level of refreshment that almost nothing else can.

A key component of healthy living is ensuring that we get the rest, refreshment and refueling we need. Not to the exclusion of other priorities but as one of our key priorities. Why? We cannot run on empty forever. When we do something suffers – physically, joy, spiritual perspective, or emotional health.

I was talking to a friend about a well known Christian leader last year and my friend said, “He says he is running on fumes.” Within weeks word hit the national news that his personal life was a mess and he lost his ministry. Our bodies and minds were not made to run on fumes. It is the red zone on our personal tachometer that if you do it for too long, engine damage will occur. Yet that is often the pace at which we live.

When we run too fast, we easily lose perspective. When we are lazy we give up spiritual influence. The trick is to live with intentionality, pay attention to the important things – the big rocks and build in opportunities for refreshment.

The book of Ecclesiastes is a fascinating read. You can read it and conclude that Solomon was a huge pessimist – “Meaningless! Meaningless! Says the Teacher, Utterly Meaningless! Everything is meaningless” (Ecclesiastes 1:2). Sounds pretty pessimistic to me.

But you need to read on. Solomon’s point is that all the work, success or money in this world will not fulfill us if we have not integrated an eternal purpose into our lives. That is why many of the most successful people in our world are unhappy people. They have everything but the one thing they crave, satisfaction and purpose, is missing. That only comes when we embrace our eternal purpose.

Solomon also says that all the pleasures of the world – and he had a lot of experience in those was equally meaningless, again, unless it was infused with God’s pleasure. That is why the toys of life and the experiences of life pursued by so many are equally frustrating because the guy with the most toys does not win after all. In themselves, they do not have the ability to bring satisfaction or meaning in life.

But, if we live our lives with purpose, understanding that it is about relationship with God and work for God, then both our work and our fun, our work and our relaxation are infused with God’s purpose, joy and satisfaction.

Thus Solomon’s words “A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him who can eat and find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God (Ecclesiastes 2:24-26).”

Both work and refreshment are blessed by God when we understand the purpose of our lives – to live in relationship with him and carry out His unique role for our lives.

Those whose lives are most fruitful are also those who take the time to think, reflect, dialogue with key friends, and be quiet long enough that God can pop things in our minds that we actually hear. Being more productive in life does not necessarily mean working harder, it means working smarter – and taking the time to decompress and let our minds be available for bigger things.

All of us can find places of refreshment, even in our busy days. I think the genius of Starbucks, for instance is that one can get away, have a good brew, enjoy a quiet environment with a book or laptop and have a mini oasis in a busy day.

Because I travel regularly, I have used my airplane time to think, read, journal and meditate – rather than “work.” Hotel rooms can be a place of refuge in the evening – if the television is not turned on – a habit I have developed. I even have a recliner in my office where I can shut the door and be alone during a busy day.

Key to regular refreshment is finding those practices that bring refreshment to you. Every one of us is wired differently. I find it hard not to be doing something. Whether it is fly fishing, cutting trees, writing, reading or walking, I do my best thinking when I am doing activities that fill my tank. One of the main reasons I write, whether books or this blog is that in writing, I am able to crystallize my thoughts and I do my best thinking by putting it in words. The activity of writing helps me think deeply and clarify issues that have been ruminating in my mind.

I have other friends who use the 18 holes of golf to do some of their best thinking. Some do it with one or two other people over coffee and sharing their lives transparently with trusted friends. Our friend Barb loves to walk and does her best thinking and praying on her daily hike. Carol loves to garden and does a lot of thinking as she pulls weeds and pinches old buds. Mark loves to do it on his boat as he searches for the big fish in the Florida Keys. Bill does his best thinking reading a great book. For some it is knitting or some sort of handwork – like hand tying flies for fly fishing.

We live in a performance oriented society. But here is something to consider: who we are and who we become is more important that what we do and what we accomplish

The healthier we are emotionally, spiritually and physically, the more productive we will be. But there is no way to micro-wave health. And, it is easy to ignore and not easy to quantify. Others don’t necessarily see our emotional or spiritual health until the deficit of taking care of them cause problems in our lives.

What people see of us is a small portion of who we really are. Our thoughts, motives, intentions, intimacy with Christ, or lack of it, the habits that we practice, or don’t, the practices we cultivate in our hidden lives are the powerful but hidden core of who we are and they form the character that flows out of us.

Why do we find this so difficult when we know it is so important? Because it is hidden! Others do not see what is in our hearts, and the demands of life and work are so pressing. But we ignore our hearts to our peril. The public ‘us’ is only an extension of the private ‘us.’ Character is what we are when no one is looking – and character is formed in the dark, before we need to exhibit it.

Jesus regularly withdrew to “a private place to pray” and spend time with the Father. How often do we follow his example? Is there room in our busy lives to do ‘soul work,’ allowing Him to mold our thinking, priorities, passions and innermost hearts?

Building times of refreshment into our lives is key to ensuring that we give ourselves and the Spirit opportunity to keep our hidden self healthy so that “who we are” informs “what we do.”

Everywhere I go, people tell me, life is too busy. For most of us it is and the cost is emotional, spiritual and physical. As our spirits become eroded over time, our effectiveness wanes and the joy and satisfaction that Solomon refers to is diminished.

It will mean using the “amazing power of no” so that we have time for our own refreshment. It means that we will be proactive in planning or finding ways for refreshment during our busy days, weeks and months. It will pay off with greater joy and satisfaction as God does his thing in our hearts and as we allow our batteries to be recharged. It will allow us to live and minister out of greater personal health because we have taken the time to stay healthy spiritually, emotionally and physically.

Seven Practices that keep us growing

Do you have a plan for continuing to grow spiritually, emotionally, relationally and to continue to develop the strengths God has given you? Each of us has a way of learning and growth that works for us. I want to suggest that there are seven disciplines that directly relate to maximizing our growth, potential, and therefore legacy.

The people we know

If you surround yourself with people who are wiser than you – some of their wisdom will rub off. The most influential people I know are deeply intentional about their relationships. They purposefully pursue relationships with individuals they respect and that they know they can learn from.

God has blessed Mary Ann and me with some of the most outstanding friends one could ever have. Each of them has influenced us in a very specific way including our faith, obedience, marriage, leadership, emotional intelligence – and the list could go on. This rich mosaic of quality friends as left an indelible mark on our lives.

We have a saying called “friends for life.” We intentionally pursue relationships with people who want to share the journey with us and then we are intentional in keeping the relationship close.

Relationships are an investment. If you invest in healthy relationships with people who are passionate about living out their lives for maximum impact you will be deeply influenced by their lives. The advice most of us got as kids is true: you become like the friends you keep. We have many acquaintances but we nurture our key relationships – more precious than all the gold in the world.

It is these key relationships that can speak into our lives, tell us truth but with the knowledge that we can trust them explicitly. There is also huge accountability built into such relationships because there is a transparency about one another and the issues we face. I know that if I were to start walking down a dangerous path exactly who would show up at my door and get my attention. I also know who will encourage us, help us and share our joys and burdens.

All of us have friends – but not all of us cultivate key friendships that have the power to help us grow, develop and become all that God made us to be. One of the young people I have mentored is moving from Minnesota to Los Angeles. He asked for any parting advice I might have. I said, “find a good church and then find the most mature, gifted, passionate individual or couple and pursue that relationship.” I said, “don’t worry about age differences, economic or educational differences, be intentional about the relationship.”

Our key friendships matter if we are going to keep growing and stay on the cutting edge of life and ministry. Choose them carefully and then nurture them regularly. Each of my friends is a faithful mentor in some area of life. Not formally but informally. I am better for every one of them.

The books we read

Books, really good ones, are like relationships. They mold us and cause us to think deeply. The issue is not how many books we read but the quality of the books we read. C.S. Lewis is a close friend of mine – as I have enjoyed his company having spent a great deal of time with his books. As are many others including my hero Winston Churchill with whom I have spent many hours, sans cigar!

As I get older I spend less time with books of business and strategy and far more time with books of the heart. Not that I ignore the former (especially don’t ignore the ones I have written) but the reality is that to finish well, my heart has to be in the right place so it has become a priority.

Choose books with care. As it says on the t-shirt book lovers wear, “too many books, too little time.” Read books that will challenge your thinking rather than simply confirm what you already know. Read deeply, allowing the writer to ruminate in your thoughts. Shallow thinking is one of the sins of our time. Read ancient as well as new – all wisdom does not reside in the present. Some of the deepest thinkers are long gone but you can meet them in their writing.

The experiences we choose

Experiences can change our lives, our perspectives and our understanding. I remember asking Jot and Marietta to travel to China with a small group I was leading. Jot later told me, “I thought why would I want to go to China?” They came and have had a many other trips back, have led ministry teams and have been active in China ministry. Experiences change us.

While we all love good experiences, the trick is to choose some that will stretch us and take us out of our comfort zone. Whenever I travel internationally, I ask to be brought to the poorest area of town. I know that 54% of our world lives on $3.00 a day or less. I want to get a reality check and see the needs as well as what God is doing in amazingly tough circumstances. You cannot make too many of those trips and come away unchanged and more deeply committed to ministries that help the hopeless as well as give them eternal hope.

I remember a ministry trip our church took to train teachers in rural Yunnan province in China. When we arrived at the college, people saw the dorms (horsehair mattresses), the toilets (holes in the floor), the food (hmm, pretty bad), the bugs (really big), the air-conditioning (open windows) and several were ready to turn around and go right back home. Yet, at the end of the ten day training period, no one wanted to leave.

Stretching ourselves with experiences that are out of our comfort zone can be game changers for us. Our cautious living may keep us in the safe zone but not in the growth zone.

The ministry we undertake

Using our gifts in ministry will always help us grow and stay fresh. But it can be scary and intimidating as well. Ministry changes us because we are joining God in His work. And when we join Him in His work, nothing stays the same.

Earlier this year, Mary Ann got a call from one of her former students at the high school whom she had helped when she became pregnant in ninth grade.

Now graduated, she was living with her boyfriend who was abusing her, had a four year old daughter and her dad had come to live with them to try to protect her. None of the three were employed. Talk about a messy situation.

She rounded up some help, called the police to meet her at the apartment, found a place for the dad to live and another place for the gal to live then networked around to find the dad a job. The gal she rescued was too used to a life of chaos to live in the order she found herself in and she went back to the abusive boyfriend several months later. The dad has remained employed and is growing in his faith.

I am always amazed when I watch Mary Ann pull something like this off. But she is in her sweet spot and ministry is often messy. But in the mess we watch God work, change lives, become whole – and learn to trust Him when things don’t go as planned – as they often do not. While Rebecca has gone back to her old ways, other members of her family are exploring faith.

You cannot stay engaged in real ministry with real people in real situations and not grow and change. Every time we take a step of faith in joining God in what He is doing, we deepen our own faith and are willing to take an even greater step of faith in the future.

The risks we take

On a regular basis, God calls us like he called Peter, to step out of our comfortable boats and to follow Him in some endeavor that requires us to trust Him and take a giant step of faith.

My friend Mark was a successful stockbroker and investment advisor when God called him to start a church that would reach the unchurched young professionals in Rockford, Il. Mark had no seminary degree, already had a well paying job but he had a passion for those who didn't know the Good News. Nothing in his resume, however, indicated that he was going to be successful in church planting – except that he was passionate.

They held their first services in Mark’s living room using videos for the preaching from Willowcreek Community Church. That risk paid off. Today, ten years later the church runs about 7,500 per weekend and they baptize in excess of 500 new believers every year. Mark sold his brokerage business so that he could lead the church full time.

It is always worth taking the risk when it is clear that God is in it. Risk forces us to trust God in ways we have not had to trust before. The comfort zone is a dangerous place for growth and development. It is in the red zone where we see the most growth but we must be willing to take the risk – to grow. My experience is that God is often calling us to risk something for Him. Those who respond, grow. Those who do not, don’t.

The questions we ask

We grow when we choose to be inquisitive. I love spending time with my friend Ken. He asks tons of questions – about everything. It does not matter if he is meeting with a twenty-something or someone like himself who runs a large corporation. He is always asking, listening, learning.

Some people don’t ask many questions because they think that it is a sign of weakness. I had lunch with the senior executive of a ministry that serves other ministries including the one I work for. In the two hour lunch, he asked one question, at the end. Otherwise it was all about him. I told a friend on the way out, this individual is not a good leader and he is not a learner.

Asking questions is an art that can be learned. The simple question, “What do you think about….” can open great conversation, give you a glimpse of a different perspective and learn something new.

The obedience we pursue

Nothing will cause us to grow, develop and stretch like a commitment to be a fully devoted follower of Christ. Many of us have a “negotiated followership.” We follow when it is easy and convenient, but where followership is inconvenient we fudge. That is why studies show that there is very little difference in lifestyle between those who claim to be evangelicals and the rest of society.

Non-negotiated followership is the commitment to align our lives with Jesus and Scripture through the empowerment of His Spirit. Every time we take a new step of obedience, we change and we grow – closer to what God wants us to be.

The New Testament is explicit that there are things that we are to “take off” and other things that we are to “put on.” Our life is a journey of taking off those things that are part of our sinful nature and putting on those things that are from the Spirit of God. Nothing will bring more personal growth than a commitment to continuously align our lives with His.

Our commitment to keep growing, stay engaged and join God in His work takes intentionality and a set of disciplines that is designed to keep us on the growing edge.

Legacy

What if you could actually shape the legacy you leave? Rancy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon had that opportunity when he discovered that he was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. Millions have been impacted by "The Last Lecture he gave on lessons he had learned in his life.

The courage and grace with which Randy and his wife Jai faced his early death riveted and inspired many. His book has caused many to think about the power of legacy and what they will leave behind.

All of our lives have a finish line. The question is, when we reach that line, what have we left behind? What legacy will we leave?

Fast forward to the day of your funeral. Your family is there, your kids, your spouse - if you are married - and your closest friends. If you could listen in on their conversation what would you want to hear? What will your kids say about you?

When I consult with organizations on issues like their preferred future, we never start with the present. Rather we ask the question, what do you want to look like in ten years? What kind of organization do you want to be and what kind of impact do you want to have? You look first at the end and then you design a plan that will make it possible for the organization to reach its target.

Here is an interesting concept. We often live life without much of a target - driven by the moment, our jobs, the expectations of others and the overwhelming busyness of life - hoping we get it right. But too many get to the finish line with a long list of regrets.

They realize that they didn't invest enough time in their children or marriage. They regret that they did not have more time for deep relationships. They wish that there had been more time for reflection and thinking but now there is too little time for those things that suddenly are more important than the salary they pulled down or the ladder they climbed.

It is possible to minimize the number of regrets we have a the finish line by determining now what we want our legacy to be. And then to use the legacy we want to leave as the blueprint for how we choose to live our lives. In other words we need to start with the end result we want and then design our lives in a way that is most likely to get us there.

God did not design live to be randomly or carelessly lived. He created each of us uniquely first for relationship with Him and then for work for Him. There is purpose to our lives - an eternal purpose that will outlive our days on this earth.

In the parable of the talents (Matthew 25), the master calls his three servants and tells them that he is going on a long journey. He divides his wealth and tells them to invest it well so that there is a return when he comes back.

Upon his return, two of the servants had doubled the money given to them to manage. To these two, Jesus said, "Well done, good and faithful servants. You have been faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness (Matthew 25:21).

The third servant was preoccupied with his own life issues and frankly didn't have time for his master's investments so he merely buried it and offered a lame excuse for why he had not invested them on his master's behalf. Jesus' words for the third servant were harsh. He had not paid attention to his master's business but only to his own.

There is both a message of blessing and a warning in this parable. Of course, the master is Christ, his servants are us. The talents (money) he handed out are the gifts and opportunities he has given to us to use on his behalf for the unique work he prepared for each of us to accomplish on his behalf. Our choice is whether we will faithfully steward what He has entrusted or whether we will live a life of self preoccupation and selfishness.

Using the gifts God has entrusted to us is one of the greatest blessings any of could experience because these investments have eternal value. Those of us who take our opportunity seriously will be with many individuals in heaven who our lives touched - many whom we never met - because we used the gifts God gave us to attain a lasting, eternal legacy.

Take a few moments and jot down what you want your legacy to be and then ask whether you are living out the priorities that will get you where you want to be when you reach the finish line. It makes all the difference in this world - and the next.

The mentor/coach model of supervision

What does it mean to be a supervisor? For many the word 'manager' comes to mind. But think about that. Do you like to be managed? For many, that word spells control and it is not a cool or empowering word. What it says is that my manager does not trust me to do the job I have been hired to do or that two people need to have a hand in doing my job - my manager and me.

One of the most frustrating issues good people face is the sense that they have too little freedom to use their gifting, skills and creativity to accomplish the work they have been hired to do.

Do you really want to 'manage' others? Most ministry leaders and supervisors I know find the traditional job of 'managing' others frustrating and time consuming. And it should be because good people were not made to be managed. They were made to be empowered, set free and then coached and mentored. If people on your team cannot be set free, empowered and then coached, you have the wrong people on the team.

A mentor coaching model is dependent on your staff having a clear plan and a clear understanding of what spells success. Thus the importance of Key Result Areas (KRAs) and Annual Ministry Plans (AMPs). If you need more information on KRAs and AMPs you will find a clear paradigm in the book, Leading From the Sandbox.

I am going to make a distinction between mentoring and coaching. They are different sides of the same coin, each with its own focuses. A good team leader needs to practice both, depending on the circumstances.

The Practices of Coaches

Coaches want to release the gifting and potential in others
Coaching is not about helping others become like us! Or having them do things the way we would do them. Coaching is about releasing the gifting and potential in others and helping them become as successful and impactful as they possible can be.

'Release' is a key word for a coach. Good people have been gifted by God with unique skills and particular ways of approaching problems and situations. Coaches want to tap this potential and these gifts, pulling them out so that the gifting and potential are released in increasingly productive and effective ways.

Coaches don't tell, they ask
Releasing the potential in others means that our challenge is not to tell people how we would do things if it were us, but to help those we coach figure out how to solve problems and meet challenges themselves. Coaches ask questions, lots of questions, questions that make others think and come to good conclusions.

Coaches care about the whole person
Many leaders and organizations simply use people. While good organizations, teams and leaders are deeply missional, coaches understand that there are many factors in a person's life that affect their work, their emotional health, and their makeup. Caring about the whole person is one of the keys to unlocking potential.

Coaches are exegetes of those they coach
People are different and need to be approached differently. People cannot be treated alike in a cookie-cutter way. Individuals are just that - individuals, and our approach, whether mentoring or coaching, needs to fit who they are and the wiring they have.

Coaches hold people with an open hand
The ultimate test of whether we want the best for those who work with us and for us is: Do we hold them with an open hand? Are we willing to develop them for their sake even if it means that we end up developing them out of the organization?

Holding people with an open hand and wanting the best for them engenders huge loyalty and appreciation. The message we give is that we ultimately care about them, and what God wants for their lives, not what we want for their lives or what we can get out of them. When we try to control others we are violating them and may be violating God's best for them.

Coaches always try to keep their people engaged
People, especially highly motivated people, are not static. They grow, they change, they get bored, and they periodically need new challenges. My philosophy is that I want to find the very best people I can find and then keep them highly motivated by changing their responsibilities when I need to.

The Practices of Mentors

Mentors give honest feedback
Constructive feedback is often missing in ministry organizations where the culture is supposed to be 'nice.' The lack of honest feedback hurts the individual and the organization. It does no one any favors and can eventually result in people actually being let go for behaviors that might have been modified if someone had been courageous enough to be honest.

Mentors get people individual training when necessary
Good mentors not only provide honest feedback but also, where necessary, insist that an employee or team member receive help that will allow them to be more effective. This often means help from a psychologist or a good mentor, especially when someone is dealing with behaviors that negatively impact their own lives, the lives of others or those on their team.

Mentors care about their people but they also want a winning team
Leaders build teams that can win. Healthy leaders are committed to results, insist that the team play well together, that players are playing to their strengths, and that the results re consistent with the mission of the organization.

This means that if changing the responsibilities or team members to better organize the team for effective ministry is necessary, they will do it. It also means that there are times when they need to let someone go because they cannot play at the level needed in their ministry role, or the person is not effective in their job even after intensive mentoring. Good leaders do not allow the mission of the organization to be compromised by keeping people who are not effective.

Being a mentor/coach with those you supervise takes more time but it also brings out the best of those who work with us, engenders huge loyalty and yields huge ministry dividends. It is worth the investment.