When convictions become theology

I have convictions based on my reading of God's word but my convictions are not theology - only what is explicitly taught in the Scriptures can be theology. But too often, our convictions become theology for us and we then believe other should abide by our theology.

Convictions are those issues where the Holy Spirit speaks to us about our lives as to how we apply Scripture in our context. For instance, I have a conviction regarding certain lifestyle issues that Scripture does not directly speak to. It is my understanding of what God want's for my life based on the application of His truth to my life. But that does not mean that I can insist that others live by those same convictions for they are mine and not Scripture's. My convictions do not equate to theology. Thus we cannot impose them on others.

One of the great freedom's about following Jesus is that He gives us freedom in those areas where Scripture does not speak to follow our own consciences. The good news is a Gospel of freedom rather than a system of legalism. We can choose to freely follow certain practices and we can choose to allow other to do the same - as Jesus gives all of us freedom to make those choices. I do make certain lifestyle choices were God gives freedom but I will not impose those choices on others because they are my choices and are not theology. I will also resist any attempts by others to impose on me their choices or convictions that are not theology.

Freedom is a wonderful thing. Lets use it carefully and joyfully and not allow convictions to become theology.

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Leaders who lose credibility by listening to their constituency

This is going to sound counter intuitive since we are all told to listen to those we lead. However, there are scenarios where listening actually hurts the credibility of a leader. Let me explain.

Most leaders know they have to listen to those they lead. So most do. However there are leaders who listen (because they have to) but have no intention of actually addressing the concerns of those they are listening to, even when it is a deafening roar. They can therefore say they listened but nothing was ever done to address legitimate concerns expressed leaving those who shared with even greater frustration than before they shared. It is a disingenuous listening because the leader has no intention of actually doing anything about what he/she heard but they can say, "I have heard all of you." The truth is that it was a disingenuous hearing.

Take a leader who introduces significant change without running process or building a consensus among those who will be impacted by the change. They can expect some push-back as change is not easy for people to deal with. But suppose they receive very significant push-back from people who are not known to be difficult or contentious. A wise leader would pay attention to that. 

When reasonable people - and many of them - are saying "this is not wise" good leaders listen. Dysfunctional leaders on the other hand will often say "talk to me," listen to the concerns and then ignore the concerns (after all they are not concerns to them) while saying "I have heard you." Now the offense is not only bad leadership in not running process and unwise change tactics but they have now minimized people who actually have valid concerns. The offence is now significantly greater than it was originally because those who shared their concerns to no avail now know that their leader frankly does not care. He/she plays the game but has an agenda they are intent on regardless of what others think.

Let's take this one step further. Because the leader has encouraged people to share their concerns with him/her (while not intending to do anything with them), they now know who is not supportive of their decisions. Often, those who share their concerns are seen by insecure leaders like this as "malcontents," "difficult," or "problem people." Never mind these same people have been long time supporters and participants in the ministry. It is in these cases that one starts to hear a great deal about church unity and in extreme cases, church discipline (the Mars Hill story). Dysfunctional leaders are unable to deal with those who disagree with them and get in the way of "their way."

If one is going to listen to their constituency (which they always should), leaders must be willing to hear them and respond to legitimate issues where they can or should. To listen and ignore good advice - especially when it comes from reputable people and a large group of people is usually indicative of an insecure or even narcissistic leader who must have his/her own way. It is sad but happens all too often in the Christian community.

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.

What is our shadow side and how do we deal with it?

Shadow sides of our lives are terribly important to acknowledge, understand and manage. I would suggest that there are three kinds of shadow sides to be aware of.

First, there is the shadow side that is the flip side of our strengths. Every strength has a shadow side. The "harmony" strength is a wonderful example. Those with Harmony (Strengthfinders) like there to be understanding and peaceful relationships. A potential shadow side,  however would be that those with harmony might be tempted to avoid dealing with conflict. Just because I don't like to deal with conflict does not mean that that I should avoid it. Those with harmony often must "manage" their tendency to run from conflict management. Every strength has a shadow side and it is worth thinking through one's own strengths and the potential downside that needs to be managed.

Second, there is the shadow side of our families of origin or early experiences of life. Our early experiences and upbringing in life can be both positive and negative. If I received conditional love and acceptance as a child I may well do the same with others, or assume that God does the same with me (He does not). If I lived with a parent who said I would not amount to anything I might spend the rest of my life trying to prove them wrong even when they are long gone. Understanding and coming to grips with the shadow side of our families of origin allows us to respond to the dysfunctional pieces and manage them when they pop up their ugly heads on our thinking or relationships.

Third, there is the shadow side of our own sinful nature. Those besetting sins, or our personal vulnerabilities that we are aware of. Being aware of our sinful tendencies allows us to intentionally ask the Holy Spirit for help and victory over those areas. Sin cannot be managed but needs to be forgiven and we need to learn to live in grace. We can, however, develop strategies for dealing with our temptations and vulnerabilities starting with an awareness of when we are most vulnerable. Understanding our sinful tendencies, living in God's daily grace and forgiveness, asking the Holy Spirit to make us sensitive to our relationship with Jesus and being deeply aware of situations where we are most vulnerable can all help us grow in grace and lesson our sinful tendencies.

Shadow sides are a fact of our human existence. Growth in how we deal with them is one of the key issues in our own maturity.

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.

You can now purchase T.J.'s books from him for the best price and significant discounts on bulk orders of ten or more

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"Lent courage and borrowed faith"

It was exactly seven years ago that I ended up in the hospital for what would be a 42 day hospital stay that I never should have survived. Many who read this blog prayed for me during that time for which I am profoundly thankful. It was a horrific struggle for life where God's intervention was miraculous and gracious - I am a walking billboard of His grace.

My sons were deeply impacted during this event and another a year later - a repeat ICU stay in Thailand. As he has reflected on how he made it through these two events where his dad should have died, my son Chip has made a profound statement: "I made it through on lent courage and borrowed faith."

What he means by this is that it was the courage and faith of those around him that gave him the courage and faith to face these traumatic events. He is a person of deep faith himself, but in the middle of trying to deal with the very real possibility that his father would die, it was the support of those around him that gave him the strength to face it with courage and faith. "Lent courage and borrowed faith."

We should never underestimate the significance of coming alongside those who are going through personal struggles. It is often our faith and courage that lends them what they need to face situations that are life changing and difficult. When we are going through the dark night of the soul we often don't have the personal energy we need to be strong and courageous but we can lean on those around us who do. Their ministry to us is to give us the faith and courage we need in our time of difficulty when we need it most but are too weak to appropriate it ourselves.

Who is it that you can lend courage and faith to today?

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.

12 signs of humility and arrogance in leaders

Indicators of Humility

• I have a proper view of who I am, who I am not and know the source of my strengths

• I am a secure individual and therefore unthreatened

• I know that I need others and treat them with honor and respect

• As a rule I am non-defensive

• I listen carefully to others and display flexibility

• I do not need to have my own way on most things

• I am willing to share authority and decision making with others

• I intentionally solicit feedback and am open to critique

• I pay great attention to my shadow side and manage it

• I give credit away in success and take responsibility in failure

• I surround myself with people who will tell me the truth

• I live under authority and accountability

• I realize that my leadership is not about me but about the mission

Indicators of Arrogance

• I am self involved and have an inflated view of my own importance

• I live with insecurity which impacts my actions

• I use others for my purposes and marginalize them if they disagree with me

• I display defensiveness and do not want to hear contrary opinions

• I do not listen carefully to others and am inflexible when others suggest modifications to my plans

• I am unwilling to share decision making with others

• I resist feedback or critique that is not in agreement with me

• I pay little attention to my shadow side and rarely if ever acknowledge it

• I take credit for success and blame others for failures

• I surround myself with “yes” people

• I resist accountability and chafe under authority

• The ministry is more about me than the mission

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.

Leaders who bring transformation to their team or organization

The best leaders are transformative leaders. Transformative leaders are not only committed to transformation in their own lives but also in bringing transformation to the teams or organizations they lead. Just as individuals need transformation, so do teams and organizations on an ongoing basis. Healthy teams and organizations are led by leaders who are committed to ongoing organizational transformation.

In order to bring needed transformation, leaders must have the ability to realistically "look beneath the hood" of their ministry in order to see what is really there. Especially in the Christian world, we are very good at seeing the good and glossing over the problematic. The best leaders are deeply realistic and are able to evaluate both.

Having evaluated what is really there there are four things good leaders never do.

First they don't criticize the past. This is a temptation for new leaders who can find it easy to criticize those who went before them. It is a very bad idea. We honor the past even as we build for the future. It was those who built the ministry to where it is that makes it possible for us to now move it forward. Honor the past rather than criticizing it.

Second, they don't blow up the organization to rebuild it. That is rarely a good option as it disenfranchises all those who are presently in it. We may need to make changes but staged change is far better than abrupt change.

Third, they don't overwhelm people with a lot of changes. Most people are change adverse. Staging change is hard enough for constituents. Overwhelming people with huge change all at once is threatening. Fixing everything at once is just a bad idea and sends a negative message.

Finally, good leaders don't ignore the issues. To do nothing is not a sign of a transformational leader.

Rather than the above, a wise leader prioritizes the issues that they see need to be addressed and start a dialogue with stakeholders in order to build support for the needed change. This is all about running good process and helping people anticipate what is coming and why. Hopefully a guiding coalition has been built of those who are ready to support the necessary changes.

In making changes, good leaders always honor the people involved. We honor them by engaging them, helping them understand, listening carefully, being flexible where we can be and doing everything to make people comfortable in the midst of change.

Transformational leaders have a certain profile. They are obviously realistic. They are also non-defensive when there is push back or when others around them push into issues that might irritate a leader. Defensive leaders shut down dialogue while non-defensive leaders invite it. This is a critical skill whenever change is necessary as well as a sign of good emotional intelligence. The focus in any change is the good of the organization as a whole while honoring people in in the process. And it is a process, rather than an event. Change events frustrate people while running proper process engages people.

If the forging of a leader is that of paying attention to the inner life of that leader, so the forging of healthy teams and organizations is that of paying attention to the inner dynamics that make for healthy, transformational organizational cultures.

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.