Growing health and effectiveness

A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Confession

I recently witnessed an unusual event: church leaders confessing their shortcomings to their congregation. The specifics are not important but the confession was profound because it happens so rarely. It modeled to the congregation an important truth: Sometimes we are wrong and simply admitting it and asking forgiveness is the right thing to do.


Here is an interesting observation. We are afraid to confess because we believe it will make us look weak. In fact, we gain respect when we confess our errors and ask forgiveness. Our confession is a statement of truth and truth is valued by others. Not only that but confession, when we have hurt another, or a group, immediately lowers the tensions among parties, allows grace to start to flow and is the doorway to a renewed relationship.


"I was wrong" are three of the hardest and most liberating words. That is the irony: hard and liberating at the same time! 


As long as we resist confession when it is needed we keep relationships in gridlock and conflict. The moment we break our pride and admit our wrong, we start to move toward healing and freedom. It is the doorway to healing. But the door must be opened and it is only opened at the expense of our pride - a strong lock on the door!


If a relational door is locked because of an offence, take the necessary step to confess. God blesses the humble but opposes the proud. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I am proud of the elders who asked forgiveness of the congregation they serve. They took the route of humility. It was an example to everyone in that congregation. Some of us need to do the same with people in our lives.

1 comment:

Tina Hollenbeck said...

Yes, it was a truly profound moment! In fact, it was the moment that convinced my husband and I to stay and be part of the healing. But please pray for us (the church), as the ugliness appears not to be over yet. It seems there is a disheartening unwillingness to forgive among some despite that profound confession. Sigh.