Creating a Culture of Grace and Eliminating the Scourge of Gossip, Slander, and Judgementalism in your Congregation.

 

The damage that gossip, slander, and judgementalism do to our congregations and those within them (perpetrators and victims) is incalculable. I outline some of these impacts in Gossip and Slander, the Scourage of many Churches. 

What many church leaders do not understand is that they can actually create a culture where these spiritually damaging behaviors are not practiced in their congregations. This is a roadmap for moving toward a healthier church culture.

First, a note about culture. Culture is what you create or allow. In other words, whatever you allow in your congregation will become part of your culture. The alternative is to intentionally create a God-honoring culture and disallow behaviors that are antithetical to God's character, the fruit of the Spirit, and His teaching. 

In many places, the New Testament makes distinctions between behaviors we are to eliminate from our lives and those we are to practice. For instance, in Ephesians 4 and 5, we are told to eliminate falsehood, stealing, unwholesome talk, bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, malice, unforgiveness, sexual immorality, impurity, greed, foolish talk, coarse joking, and other behaviors that emanate from our lower nature. 

Rather than these, we are to put on truthfulness, forgiveness, love, kindness, and compassion, become imitators of God who live in love, wise living, speaking those things that build others up, unity, humility, gentleness, and peace. 

Paul wants us to declare certain behaviors illegal in the church because they don't reflect Christ and to focus on those that do. This is how you create culture. You call people to a higher standard and are clear on those things he wants us to eliminate and those he wants us to practice.

Disciplemaking churches are clear about behaviors that they will not tolerate. They are equally clear on a culture of grace and obedience. This takes ongoing attention, teaching, and explanation. For instance, when it comes to gossip, people need to understand:

• It does not please God
• It is a form of character assassination
• When we have an issue with someone else, we go to them directly and not to others
• Our words can heal, or they can hurt
• We don't do gossip and slander in our congregation
• We do use a Matthew 18 approach when we have differences
• We live in a culture of grace and extend that grace to others
• We allow the Holy Spirit to convict people of their sins (and ours)
• We will talk to those who traffic in gossip and slander within our congregation

The amazing thing is that you can dramatically eliminate divisive gossip and slander if you are intentional, remind people often, and are clear about how we live with one another. What happens is that you create an expectation of Jesus honoring behavior, and the public nature of your "culture creation" makes it difficult for those who traffic in gossip and slander to do so, as it violates everyone's understanding of who we are and how we love one another.

Think of what it would be like if you attended a church where:

• We accept one another and one another's shortcomings as Jesus does ours
• We are as patient with one another as Jesus is with us
• We speak words that build rather than words that tear down
• We love others as Jesus loves us
• We forgive others as Jesus forgives us
• We major on the Fruit of the Spirit rather than the fruit of our lower nature
• We do all that we can to live in peace and unity with one another

Those churches do exist, although not in the number they should. The reason is that we do not create culture but simply allow culture to happen. Don't do that. Remember that culture is what you create or allow, and the Scriptures give us great guidance on what we should not allow and what we should create.