While I was critical of World Vision's recent decision to hire "Christians in Gay marriages" I applaud their willingness to acknowledge two days later that they were wrong. Too many organizations and individuals are unable to make that humble statement and it takes humility. They did it and I applaud Rich Stearns and his board. They did the right thing and we should take them at their word and move on.
I have seen elders in local churches do some unfortunate things and on occasion I have seen them own those decisions in front of congregations and say they were sorry. That not only takes courage but it is the right thing to do. I applaud them and their congregations ought to be the first to let go of their anger, forgive and move on together.
As a leader I know that it is not easy to say "I blew it" and sometimes I have had to take responsibility for things that happened on my watch even when I was not directly responsible. But it is the right thing to do - hard as it is. It is interesting that in a few cases, no matter how many times I apologized for certain actions people did not let go of the "offense."
All of us blow it. All of us need from time to time to own our stuff and ask forgiveness, apologize or make amends. When someone does, we need to celebrate that they did the right thing and move on. The lack of forgiveness among some evangelicals is a sad thing. If I don't forgive, why should I be forgiven and none of us is above that need. So, I hope that believers will not abandon World Vision or the work they do or the kids that are impacted. Let's move on.
(Posted from Milwaukee)
Showing posts with label confession. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confession. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Monday, December 3, 2012
The object of our anger in sinful situations
Recently I had to struggle with the failure of a Christian leader who I admired and respected. The pain of his actions have impacted numerous people including those who were closest to him. There have been the normal emotions of anger, betrayal, disappointment, grief and amazement at the behavior. These are normal emotions which only time, forgiveness and reconciliation can heal. Fortunately, no act of sin is beyond Jesus's work for us on the cross so I remain hopeful.
It did raise some questions for me, however. How does one respond in such a situation? I know that forgiveness is necessary and the twin roads of accountability and grace are the means to healing. But I was also struck by two other emotions.
The first is that I was angry with sin. Think about the pain in your own life that has been inflicted by others. Then consider the pain that has been inflicted by ourselves to us and to others. Sin is ugly and painful and harmful to all concerned. I hate sin and the more of it I find in my life or see its workings in others the more I hate it. There is nothing good or redeeming or worthwhile about sin. That is why Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice to forgive our deep, innate, wicked sinfulness.
Anger at sin is an appropriate emotion - perhaps even more than anger at those who perpetuate it. That does not let them off the hook but it is a reminder that the effects of the fall are huge and universal and very personal. I think of the pain my own sin has had on those I love and it makes me sad.
Then I found myself angry at Satan. He loves sin and the destruction and carnage it brings while God hates sin and died for it. Satan is a master at using sin to destroy relationships, people, ministry, families and whatever he can. This is the point that Paul was making in Ephesians 6. Behind every sinful action is a sinful being whose minions are ever working to hurt and destroy and kill. Especially those who follow Jesus.
Finally I found myself sad for the one who violated trust and those whose trust was violated. I was reminded of the need for spiritual armor and vigilance in my own life. The phrase "there but for the grace of God" became more clear in my own mind. We are all fallen and vulnerable apart from the grace and power of Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
Am I disappointed with my friend? Does he need to confess and make restitution? Are there people who should be angry with his actions? Are there consequences to his actions? All yes. And I have often been disappointed with myself. But my anger is largely focused on sin itself and the one who is the author of sin, Satan. And I am even more aware of the vulnerability of us all, living in a fallen world - the legacy of our first parents, Adam and Eve. And the need we have for Jesus and salvation and the power of the Holy Spirit in our daily lives. I will not throw the first stone in condemnation! I will encourage him toward wholeness.
It did raise some questions for me, however. How does one respond in such a situation? I know that forgiveness is necessary and the twin roads of accountability and grace are the means to healing. But I was also struck by two other emotions.
The first is that I was angry with sin. Think about the pain in your own life that has been inflicted by others. Then consider the pain that has been inflicted by ourselves to us and to others. Sin is ugly and painful and harmful to all concerned. I hate sin and the more of it I find in my life or see its workings in others the more I hate it. There is nothing good or redeeming or worthwhile about sin. That is why Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice to forgive our deep, innate, wicked sinfulness.
Anger at sin is an appropriate emotion - perhaps even more than anger at those who perpetuate it. That does not let them off the hook but it is a reminder that the effects of the fall are huge and universal and very personal. I think of the pain my own sin has had on those I love and it makes me sad.
Then I found myself angry at Satan. He loves sin and the destruction and carnage it brings while God hates sin and died for it. Satan is a master at using sin to destroy relationships, people, ministry, families and whatever he can. This is the point that Paul was making in Ephesians 6. Behind every sinful action is a sinful being whose minions are ever working to hurt and destroy and kill. Especially those who follow Jesus.
Finally I found myself sad for the one who violated trust and those whose trust was violated. I was reminded of the need for spiritual armor and vigilance in my own life. The phrase "there but for the grace of God" became more clear in my own mind. We are all fallen and vulnerable apart from the grace and power of Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
Am I disappointed with my friend? Does he need to confess and make restitution? Are there people who should be angry with his actions? Are there consequences to his actions? All yes. And I have often been disappointed with myself. But my anger is largely focused on sin itself and the one who is the author of sin, Satan. And I am even more aware of the vulnerability of us all, living in a fallen world - the legacy of our first parents, Adam and Eve. And the need we have for Jesus and salvation and the power of the Holy Spirit in our daily lives. I will not throw the first stone in condemnation! I will encourage him toward wholeness.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
I was wrong
Those are hard words for leaders (and others) to say. In fact, they are so hard that you rarely hear them and when you do it is not that direct but some softer variation. Spin and circumlocution are not the purview of politicians alone.
Leaders don't like to be wrong. The best leaders work very hard to anticipate unintended consequences of decisions and mitigate against wrong decisions for the good of the organization. But all of us blow it from time to time: A bad hire; words that hurt; actions that disempower; strategies that betray us and the list could go on.
Often when that happens we try to explain our way out of it. Why we did it, what we missed, why it was the right thing to do at the time - as if any of those things mitigate against the fact that we were...well...wrong.
How refreshing it is when a leader simply says. "I was wrong." Those around them know the truth anyway so a candid reply beats a defense of ourselves every time.
I know leaders who have left a string of broken relationships behind them because they were unable to admit their errors when they violated other people or did not keep their word. You cannot restore broken trust without first admitting that you were wrong. Hard but necessary words.
The hardest words are the most important words. Others know it is hard and they respect those who can say them. It models a transparency and humility that is much needed in leadership circles. The irony is that we lose respect when we hang on to our pride and gain it when we admit our mistakes.
Leaders don't like to be wrong. The best leaders work very hard to anticipate unintended consequences of decisions and mitigate against wrong decisions for the good of the organization. But all of us blow it from time to time: A bad hire; words that hurt; actions that disempower; strategies that betray us and the list could go on.
Often when that happens we try to explain our way out of it. Why we did it, what we missed, why it was the right thing to do at the time - as if any of those things mitigate against the fact that we were...well...wrong.
How refreshing it is when a leader simply says. "I was wrong." Those around them know the truth anyway so a candid reply beats a defense of ourselves every time.
I know leaders who have left a string of broken relationships behind them because they were unable to admit their errors when they violated other people or did not keep their word. You cannot restore broken trust without first admitting that you were wrong. Hard but necessary words.
The hardest words are the most important words. Others know it is hard and they respect those who can say them. It models a transparency and humility that is much needed in leadership circles. The irony is that we lose respect when we hang on to our pride and gain it when we admit our mistakes.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Confession
I recently witnessed an unusual event: church leaders confessing their shortcomings to their congregation. The specifics are not important but the confession was profound because it happens so rarely. It modeled to the congregation an important truth: Sometimes we are wrong and simply admitting it and asking forgiveness is the right thing to do.
Here is an interesting observation. We are afraid to confess because we believe it will make us look weak. In fact, we gain respect when we confess our errors and ask forgiveness. Our confession is a statement of truth and truth is valued by others. Not only that but confession, when we have hurt another, or a group, immediately lowers the tensions among parties, allows grace to start to flow and is the doorway to a renewed relationship.
"I was wrong" are three of the hardest and most liberating words. That is the irony: hard and liberating at the same time!
As long as we resist confession when it is needed we keep relationships in gridlock and conflict. The moment we break our pride and admit our wrong, we start to move toward healing and freedom. It is the doorway to healing. But the door must be opened and it is only opened at the expense of our pride - a strong lock on the door!
If a relational door is locked because of an offence, take the necessary step to confess. God blesses the humble but opposes the proud. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I am proud of the elders who asked forgiveness of the congregation they serve. They took the route of humility. It was an example to everyone in that congregation. Some of us need to do the same with people in our lives.
Here is an interesting observation. We are afraid to confess because we believe it will make us look weak. In fact, we gain respect when we confess our errors and ask forgiveness. Our confession is a statement of truth and truth is valued by others. Not only that but confession, when we have hurt another, or a group, immediately lowers the tensions among parties, allows grace to start to flow and is the doorway to a renewed relationship.
"I was wrong" are three of the hardest and most liberating words. That is the irony: hard and liberating at the same time!
As long as we resist confession when it is needed we keep relationships in gridlock and conflict. The moment we break our pride and admit our wrong, we start to move toward healing and freedom. It is the doorway to healing. But the door must be opened and it is only opened at the expense of our pride - a strong lock on the door!
If a relational door is locked because of an offence, take the necessary step to confess. God blesses the humble but opposes the proud. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I am proud of the elders who asked forgiveness of the congregation they serve. They took the route of humility. It was an example to everyone in that congregation. Some of us need to do the same with people in our lives.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Sick churches and corporate repentance
It is a fact of faith that when we have engaged in sin, the price of moving forward is always deep repentance, and acknowledgement of our sin to Christ and a commitment to take on new practices. We understand this in the individual arena but what about situations where congregations have sinned. Can they move forward in strength without dealing with their sin and acknowledging that sin publically? I believe not.
In fact, I would suggest that there are many churches who have lived with sinful practices in their midst - gossip, unresolved conflict, negative attitudes, ill treatment of pastors, prideful boards, and you name it - who will never move into a place of spiritual health until they publically acknowledge the sinful practices, repent of them, commit to new practices and seek the forgiveness of those who have been hurt.
Interestingly, these are the very things that have been key features of revivals when they have occurred. Coming clean, acknowledging failure and seeking forgiveness are hallmarks of spiritual revival. So why would we believe that we can move forward in congregations when such sin has occurred without the spiritual renovation that must take place first?
Why don't more congregations practice confession and repentance? I believe the operative reason is pride. It means that we have to admit we were wrong, that we have accepted sinful practices, that we hurt someone and public hurt must be followed by public acknowledgement and confession. Rather than do that, we would rather take the easy way and retain our pride.
Years ago I was deeply wounded by a church I served. Years later the leaders asked to meet with me in private. They apologized for what happened but they never did so publically. Yet, the wounds has been public. They took the easy route which did nothing to heal the church nor to heal me.
Daniel nine gives us a great example of public repentance for public sin. On behalf of the nation of Israel, Daniel pleads for God's forgiveness after enumerating the sins of the people. Public sin calls for public repentance.
What is the price that congregations and church leaders pay for not being willing to repent of public sins? I believe that God simply withholds his blessing from them. God does not bless proud hearts but humble hearts. Public confession of public sins is a sign of a humble heart. Most congregations won't go there but those who do see God do extraordinary things.
In fact, I would suggest that there are many churches who have lived with sinful practices in their midst - gossip, unresolved conflict, negative attitudes, ill treatment of pastors, prideful boards, and you name it - who will never move into a place of spiritual health until they publically acknowledge the sinful practices, repent of them, commit to new practices and seek the forgiveness of those who have been hurt.
Interestingly, these are the very things that have been key features of revivals when they have occurred. Coming clean, acknowledging failure and seeking forgiveness are hallmarks of spiritual revival. So why would we believe that we can move forward in congregations when such sin has occurred without the spiritual renovation that must take place first?
Why don't more congregations practice confession and repentance? I believe the operative reason is pride. It means that we have to admit we were wrong, that we have accepted sinful practices, that we hurt someone and public hurt must be followed by public acknowledgement and confession. Rather than do that, we would rather take the easy way and retain our pride.
Years ago I was deeply wounded by a church I served. Years later the leaders asked to meet with me in private. They apologized for what happened but they never did so publically. Yet, the wounds has been public. They took the easy route which did nothing to heal the church nor to heal me.
Daniel nine gives us a great example of public repentance for public sin. On behalf of the nation of Israel, Daniel pleads for God's forgiveness after enumerating the sins of the people. Public sin calls for public repentance.
What is the price that congregations and church leaders pay for not being willing to repent of public sins? I believe that God simply withholds his blessing from them. God does not bless proud hearts but humble hearts. Public confession of public sins is a sign of a humble heart. Most congregations won't go there but those who do see God do extraordinary things.
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