If there had been no Good Friday or Easter morning

We take much for granted. As you walk through this week, consider the gift of the death and resurrection of Christ. Because if there had been no Good Friday or Easter Sunday….

You would have no church

There would be no Holy Spirit resident in our hearts

Funerals would be the final farewell

Guilt would last forever

Good News would be absent for all

Life purpose would be absent

Prayer would be futile

Reconciliation with God would be impossible

The evil one would have the final say

Evil would not be mitigated by God’s love – anywhere

There would be no New Testament

The failures of our lives could never be redeemed for a greater good

Suffering would have no meaning

Future hope would be non-existent

The One Friend we can always count on would be absent

Love motivated by Jesus would be non-existent

There would be no final justice

It would be a life without Jesus

There would be no Easter

Take time this week to reflect. Good Friday and Easter Morning are the game changers in human history - and in our own history.

The day between Good Friday and Easter morning

What do you think it was like the day after the crucifixion of Christ? Did Pilot wake up with a guilty conscience and wonder if he had done the right thing? Did the guards who had mocked Jesus and then seen Him on the cross, wonder if an innocent man had died? Did the crowds who had called for His life keep an embarrassed silence in a quiet Jerusalem? Someone was nervous for they asked the Roman garrison to post guards at His tomb. On the day after, Jesus' friends mourned, the Romans were nervous and some who had watched the execution were sure He was the Son of God.

It had to be a day like no other in Jerusalem. It had to be a day of quiet and consideration. It had to be a day of sober doubt after a day of impetuous action. I'll bet there were many disturbed consciences that day. The day between death and resurrection. A day of uncertainty and guilt. A day of hopelessness and sadness. But it was done and there was no undoing the events of the night before.

We have days like that! I have experienced whole periods of life that hang between hope and despair. Uncertainty reigns. Sadness is prevalent, maybe dominant. It is the time in between life as it was and life as it will be - but not yet knowing what will be. It is the dark night of the soul with all the questions, uncertainties and unknowns. It is those times of personal chaos when we have no idea and little hope that life will become whole again. It is the loss of hope most of all.

It is the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. It is real and it hurts and all of us experience it just as the disciples did, only in different ways. But there is another day coming...we know and we look forward to that day of hope. Always remember in the day of despair. The morning comes, and it comes with hope and resurrection power and salvation. In the in-between times, we need the words of Habakkuk, "Be still and know that I am God." Easter comes and so does Hope. 

One of the lessons of Good Friday is that things are not always what they appear

One of the lessons of Good Friday is that what appears to be true is not always true. On this day the cosmic battle between Satan and God culminated in what Satan thought was his greatest victory. That battle had been waged from the time of the fall (Genesis 3:15) where God made it clear that one day Satan would be defeated. But on this  day, Satan knew he had won. The Son of God is on the cross, alone, abandoned even by His Father who didn't seem able to rescue Him. Thirty pieces of silver was all it had taken, the best deal ever in the history of evil.

The disciples knew it was over. Jesus' friends knew it was over. The Jewish authorities knew it was over - their problem solved, a rival gone. Not only that but for those who cared, evil had won over good and righteousness. For the followers of Christ, this was the ultimate sadness. They had expected righteousness to triumph and instead, evil had prevailed. The one who had called Himself the Son of God, dead on a bitter cross. 

Little did they know that what appeared to be the final chapter was only the beginning of a new chapter because out of the jaws of apparent defeat, Christ would not only be resurrected but in that resurrection he sealed the fate of Satan and evil and unrighteousness for all time and made it possible for the created to have a relationship with the creator. Apparent defeat was only the prelude to total victory! 

Not for one moment had the events of Good Friday been out of the control of the heavenly Father even though it looked like the Father had lost all control. He is sovereign and nothing under His control can ever be out of control. The world learned that on Easter Sunday.

Think about your own life for a moment. Where are the areas that seem to be out of control? Where does it feel like evil has won? Where are the apparent areas where you feel defeat, discouragement, sadness or pain? It is easy to see the Good Friday moments in our lives when it is clear that God has not acted and we need His help. It is harder to wait for the resurrection moments when God shows up as He always does and redeems what we thought was unredeemable - often in surprising and unique ways.

Whatever your circumstance you can be sure that Easter is coming and that things are not always what they appear to be. In the end, nothing that is in His control can ever be out of control and God always prevails. Our job is to walk by faith in the Good Friday moments of life when life is hard and hope is scarce, waiting for our Easter to arrive when He shows up and redeems our situation. The fun thing about Easter was that it was such a surprise. Invite Jesus to surprise you in your situation today.

The prophet Isaiah said it well. "He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him and by his wounds we are healed. 

The Thursday before Good Friday

What would you be doing the night before your death? Jesus had a supper prepared and invited some of his most trusted friends - His disciples. And then He did an amazing thing. Laying aside his outer robe he did what no self respecting man did - unless he was a slave. He washed His disciples feet: the ultimate sign of humility.

Think about this:

He washed the feet of Judas who would betray Him.

He washed the feet of Peter who would deny Him.

He washed the feet of Thomas who would doubt his resurrection.

He washed the feet of His beloved three who would not even stay awake in the garden and pray with Him.

And then He said, you are my friends. And He prayed one of His most significant prayers: what we call the High Priestly prayer found in John 17.

Even more profound, in that prayer He prayed for us: You and Me. On the night before His death He was thinking of all those down through the ages who would believe in Him as their Lord and Savior. 

He prayed for our joy - read it!

He prayed for our protection - it is there.

He prayed for our sanctification - becoming like Him.

He prayed for our unity: That those who believe in Him would be unified.

He prayed for our ministry that we would represent Him well.

This is the love of Christ. That he would minister to the one who would betray Him, the one who would deny Him, the ones who would not stay awake with Him and each of us who follow Him whose lives have been transformed by His love.

If we were to follow His example, what would the church look like?

Are you writing promise checks you cannot cash?

It is easy to say "yes" when we know we ought to say "no." It is easy to promise delivery on promises with unrealistic deadlines. These are "promise checks" that we are unable to cash. 

Why would we say yes when we should not, or promise to reach deadlines that are unrealistic? Let me suggest that there are often three reasons. First, we want to be liked and a "yes" to a request is an unconscious response that we hope will bring affirmation. Second, if we are conflict adverse, a "yes" when we should say "no" is clearly easier. Third, some of us are just wired to help others out so it seems to be the right thing to do. However, these can quickly backfire on us when we are unable to deliver on our promises. In not delivering we produce frustration in others and guilt in ourselves and finally, with time as our most precious possession, we eat up our own time with activities that we should not be engaged in.

It is easy to say "yes" in the moment and to regret that "yes" in the longer term. Every promise has a price tag attached that will require our time and attention. When we say yes to the wrong things we will create issues for ourselves and others. Most of us have done it and most of us have later regretted it. There are also people around us who may use our propensity to say "yes" to offload responsibilities they have.

How can we avoid this trap, especially when we feel we need to answer in the heat of the moment? My first suggestion is to develop a standard answer that gives you time to evaluate the request. Saying, "Let me think about that and I will get back to you," gives you necessary time to think through the request before you make a promise.

Then there are some questions we need to ask ourselves:

• If I agree to the request, do I have the time to fulfill it in the time frame requested?
• Is this request something that I am truly responsible for or is it really someone else's responsibility? 
• Am I trying to feel good, make others feel good toward me or am I simply avoiding the conflict that might come if I say "no." In other words what are my motivations to agree or disagree to the request?
• Will my "yes" create negative a impact for me with my time or energy, those around me like my family when I need to spend extra time working or will my "yes" take me away from more important work that I am responsible for?
• Is the request consistent with my priorities or will it detract from things that are more important in my life and work?

Asking these questions will often bring us to conclude that we should either decline the request - or modify the timetable. Of course that raises the question for the conflict adverse as to how they will communicate that back to the one asking for your time and attention.

One does not need to give all the reasons that you decline a request. The more you share, the more insecure you will come across and some people will take advantage of that. A simple answer like, "I appreciate the request but as I have thought about it I realize that I am full up at the moment and need to decline" will suffice. In most cases you don't need to justify your answer. Just be straightforward with your answer.

As hard as it is for some of us to say those words, it is deeply liberating when you realize that you did not add time and energy to your already busy life and you did not write a promise check that you cannot cash.

5 marks of a good consultant

It is normal for a business, non-profit or ministry to need a consultant from time to time. However, there is often a built in bias against "another" consultant based on prior (less than satisfying) experiences. In addition, there may be staff who resist bringing in an outsider due to their own insecurities and fear of change. Often they will say, "We have our own staff who can figure this out." The truth is that their staff might be able to help another organization figure it out but we are often blind to issues within our own organization. 

Finally, the right consultant can say things that if articulated by staff could create conflict within the organization. However, as a neutral outsider who has not have a "dog in the fight" the consultant can ask questions, press into issues and even suggest alternatives that would not be heard from someone on the inside. In addition, a consultant can comment on staff members who may no longer fit the role that they are in.

The challenge of course is to find the "right" consultant who will help the organization address the gaps that may be keeping it from reaching its full potential. They have the ability to understand the moving parts (like the Rubik cube) and get the right pieces in place for  a solution. I believe that the marks of the best consultant are as follows:

1. They have a successful track record to helping organizations understand the issues they are facing and to articulate those issues with simplicity and clarity. The way to find that out of course is to talk to other organizations they have worked with. Good consultants don't complicate issues that may already be complicated but are able to synthesize and simplify issues that need to be addressed. Remember that the core issues may not be the ones that convinced you an outside consultant was necessary as presenting issues are not always the real issues but rather manifestations of something more fundamental.

2. They have the ability to be independent in their thinking. This is especially important as staff will frequently lobby consultants to take their position or their solution. The best consultants gather data from as many individuals as they can, examine the issues and while empathizing with those they talk to keep an open mind until they are able to identify the real issues and make recommendations to the organization.

In one situation where I was asked to deal with a difficult conflictual situation within a congregation, one of the elders asked a prior client if I could be objective. Then answer was, "Oh, he will be objective but you might not like his objectivity." The elder was willing to trust me based on prior work I had done and while I did not deliver the solution he would have wanted he told me some time later that he would have made the same recommendations if he were in my shoes.

A good consultant is willing to speak truth to those in leadership with diplomacy but full candor. This requires not only objectivity but courage as some may not like the candor.

3. They don't come in assuming that the presenting issues are the real or core issues that need to be addressed. Frequently, presenting issues merely mask deeper and more important issues with staff, leaders, organizational structures or strategy. The best consultants don't assume that what is presented on the front end will be the core issues they address but wait to understand how the interconnected parts fit together.

4. They will walk with the organization to solve the problems they identify. It is one thing to say "Here are your problems." It is another to say "Here are your problems and these are my suggestions for resolving them." The best consultants say, "Here are your problems from my perspective (with the data to back up their observations), these are the solutions I would recommend and I am here to help you implement those solutions." 

The ability to help an organization implement solutions is critical because often the "outside voice" of one who has no role in the organization is necessary to resolve the issues and help the organization move on. This is a coaching, truth telling and diplomatic role (especially when it is necessary to make some personnel changes) that give those in authority the data and insight they need in order to walk through the necessary change process. Even seasoned leaders often need coaching in the change process. 

5. They have healthy Emotional Intelligence. Why is this so important? It is because resolving issues always involves some kind of change and change impacts people and people must be persuaded that a certain course of action is in their best interest. This is often the toughest part for a consultant. I have always maintained that understanding the issues is about 10% of the challenge while the other 90% is helping to manage the change process because people are involved at every point. All of that takes good relational and emotional intelligence to understand others and help persuade them that making these changes will allow them be more successful as an organization. 

All of these marks can be ascertained by dialogue with a potential consultant as well as talking to those they have served in the past. This is a unique skill set that sets the best consultants apart from the rest.