Growing health and effectiveness

A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.
Showing posts with label jealousy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jealousy. Show all posts

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Seven indicators that our ego may be getting in the way of our leadership


An overly inflated ego is a challenge for leaders who are often in their positions because they have seen success. The success that positions one for leadership can also be our subtle undoing when we allow it to feed our ego, which has a voracious and unrelenting appetite. 

Most of us like to think we are not conceited, yet that is the most fantastic conceit of all. However, we can be aware of signs that our ego (and conceit) are getting in the way of our own emotional health and leadership. Awareness can help us manage the appetite of our egos.

Being defensive or angry when we are challenged.
Defensiveness is nothing more than our ego screaming, "Don't challenge me because I am right," even when we are not. It keeps us from hearing the truth and perspective from others, leaving us with only our limited perspective. This is why the best leaders train themselves to be open to differing perspectives and cultivate a non-defensive attitude.

Being reluctant to delegate
An unwillingness to delegate is often our ego speaking: "No one can do this as well as I can." In most things, others can do things better than we can, but who wants to admit that! Healthy leaders do. In fact, they encourage others to find better ways of doing things to build better organizations. We may not realize it, but an unwillingness to delegate can indicate an unhealthy ego.

We need to always get our own way.
Why would we need to always get our own way if not because our own self-worth or conviction that we are always right reveals an overinflated and unhealthy ego? Healthy leaders desire to do the best thing to reach the desired outcome, which has nothing to do with whether it is their way or not. Unhealthy egos demand their way regardless of whether other ways might be better.

Being jealous of the success of others
Whenever we become jealous of the success of another, we should sit up and take note that we have an ego problem. Jealousy over the success of another is a sign that we believe their success somehow diminishes us! Only unhealthy and hungry egos react this way. These egos will resist hiring anyone who might outshine them in some area, and is a dangerous trait.

Taking credit for success and deflecting blame for failure.
This happens in ministry, business, politics, and everywhere there are people. We love to overinflate our abilities and underinflate our weaknesses. Accolades feed our hungry egos, and those same hungry egos don't want to admit failure, so they deflect it to others. Healthy egos share success with the team and are willing to take responsibility for failure. Healthy egos never need to be fed at the expense of others in success or failure.

A critical spirit
Critical spirits can come from a need to build ourselves up by putting others down or an attitude of superiority - both of which are connected to unhealthy egos. If we become critical, we must ask ourselves why we see a need to diminish rather than encourage others. An attitude of criticism is rarely a sign of a healthy leader, and it usually has to do more with them than with those they are critical of.

Slowing down on learning and developing
How is this related to ego? It is an assumption that we no longer need to learn new things or put it another way; we already know all that we need to know. That is a lie of our ego. The need to invest more time in learning is critical because our world is changing at an increasing rate. Humble individuals invest in learning, while proud people feel they don't need to.