Too many leaders, especially when they are young have not learned that negotiation is a key to their leadership. Negotiation is the art of taking into account the various perspectives and concerns of a number of parties and coming up with a solution that can be supported by all.
Needing to have our way and not being open to other perspectives or willing to compromise with others is a sign of pride, stubbornness and often gets black and white leaders into trouble. People rightly start to perceive them as unreasonable and hard to work with.
This does not mean we cannot have strong opinions. It is a mark of a leader but why is my strong opinion superior to another's strong opinion? Because it is mine? Because I need to be right? Because my ego and person hood is so wrapped up in getting my way? When one looks at it that way it looks, well, arrogant and ugly!
Healthy leaders state their positions but also invite robust dialogue on issues, believing that better answers come from a number of competent people grappling with an issue than just them. They also have an attitude that it is about the mission, not about them and so don't take it personally when they don't get all that they want.
All of life is a negotiation at some level. My marriage is. My leadership is. Even the relationship with my kids was. Sure there are convictions that we won't compromise on but all too often what we won't compromise on is not conviction but preference. The best leaders invite opposing views and bring their group to a healthy consensus. They know how to negotiate and compromise.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
When leaders create conflict
Leaders of organizations, churches and teams often have a role in creating conflict that is unhealthy. Much conflict could be avoided if leaders could avoid these mistakes.
Ambiguity
Leaders who are unclear as to who the organization is and where it is going and how it will fulfill its mission create conflict through their lack of clarity. When mission, guiding principles, ministry focus and culture are not clear, there is ample room for misunderstanding, unmet expectations and therefore, conflict over direction or philosophy. Healthy leaders are very clear on the critical elements and do not leave the door open for ambiguity which will naturally lead to conflict.
Disempowering actions
Leaders who seem to promise empowerment but in reality disempower their staff through micromanagement, lack of clarity or not delegating appropriate authority and responsibility create conflict by their actions. Empowerment is only possible where there is great clarity over mission, values, focus and culture. But it also requires the delegation of authority. Where clarity, delegation and authority are not matched, there is a recipe for conflict.
Dividing the team or teams
When leaders vilify or put down one member of the team over against another they automatically set the stage for conflict on the team. When a leader plays one group against another (for instance staff against the board or their team against a senior team) conflict is set up by the leader. (See the two posts on Leadership Default). Leaders who do this, and many do, set their organization up for conflict.
More concerned with their image than missional effectiveness
Leader who care more about being popular than missional will often create conflict because they are not able to be defining with their team (those they lead) because they are more interested in being liked by their team and therefore play to the team's desires rather than to the mission of the organization. Or, leaders may think it is about them, more than it is about the mission and take credit for success that ought to go to the team. Wise leaders understand that it is not about them but about the mission of the organization.
Telling the team what to do rather than engaging their team in the process
Some leaders, under the guise of 'leadership,' prefer to make pronouncements to their team about what they need to do rather than engage the team in meaningful process and dialogue to get to a mutually agreed upon strategy. While team member may 'agree' verbally, they do not necessarily agree 'with the heart' and feel bullied into a position that is not one they buy into. Again, this is a tactic that may work for a while but in the long run produces unhealthy relationships and lack of trust.
Good leaders can prevent most conflict by being clear on the big rocks of the organization, appropriately empowering their leaders or team, never creating division within the team or between teams, making the mission the focus, not themselves, and engaging their team in dialogue and process toward a mutually satisfying solution.
Ambiguity
Leaders who are unclear as to who the organization is and where it is going and how it will fulfill its mission create conflict through their lack of clarity. When mission, guiding principles, ministry focus and culture are not clear, there is ample room for misunderstanding, unmet expectations and therefore, conflict over direction or philosophy. Healthy leaders are very clear on the critical elements and do not leave the door open for ambiguity which will naturally lead to conflict.
Disempowering actions
Leaders who seem to promise empowerment but in reality disempower their staff through micromanagement, lack of clarity or not delegating appropriate authority and responsibility create conflict by their actions. Empowerment is only possible where there is great clarity over mission, values, focus and culture. But it also requires the delegation of authority. Where clarity, delegation and authority are not matched, there is a recipe for conflict.
Dividing the team or teams
When leaders vilify or put down one member of the team over against another they automatically set the stage for conflict on the team. When a leader plays one group against another (for instance staff against the board or their team against a senior team) conflict is set up by the leader. (See the two posts on Leadership Default). Leaders who do this, and many do, set their organization up for conflict.
More concerned with their image than missional effectiveness
Leader who care more about being popular than missional will often create conflict because they are not able to be defining with their team (those they lead) because they are more interested in being liked by their team and therefore play to the team's desires rather than to the mission of the organization. Or, leaders may think it is about them, more than it is about the mission and take credit for success that ought to go to the team. Wise leaders understand that it is not about them but about the mission of the organization.
Telling the team what to do rather than engaging their team in the process
Some leaders, under the guise of 'leadership,' prefer to make pronouncements to their team about what they need to do rather than engage the team in meaningful process and dialogue to get to a mutually agreed upon strategy. While team member may 'agree' verbally, they do not necessarily agree 'with the heart' and feel bullied into a position that is not one they buy into. Again, this is a tactic that may work for a while but in the long run produces unhealthy relationships and lack of trust.
Good leaders can prevent most conflict by being clear on the big rocks of the organization, appropriately empowering their leaders or team, never creating division within the team or between teams, making the mission the focus, not themselves, and engaging their team in dialogue and process toward a mutually satisfying solution.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Who did you thank or express appreciation to today?
"Thank you." "I appreciate that." "You did a marvelous job on that." These and other words like it are powerful and encouraging and say that we notice, that we are thankful for the contribution of others and that we care about them. It is stopping long enough to think about others rather than simply ourselves.
Those who thank God often and others around them live with a whole different outlook on life than those who do not. It is the attitude Jesus commends, after all, how can we not live in thanksgiving with all He has done for us. The more we live with appreciation and thanksgiving the more we see life through a positive lens.
The more we thank others the more we recognize the value of those around us. It changes our attitude toward them and allows us to develop an attitude of graciousness toward others. In a bottom line world it makes a great difference in our lives and in the lives of others.
What are you thankful for today that you need to express to your Father. Who do you need to express your appreciation to today. Everyone needs the encouragement and we need the outlook on life that it brings to us.
Those who thank God often and others around them live with a whole different outlook on life than those who do not. It is the attitude Jesus commends, after all, how can we not live in thanksgiving with all He has done for us. The more we live with appreciation and thanksgiving the more we see life through a positive lens.
The more we thank others the more we recognize the value of those around us. It changes our attitude toward them and allows us to develop an attitude of graciousness toward others. In a bottom line world it makes a great difference in our lives and in the lives of others.
What are you thankful for today that you need to express to your Father. Who do you need to express your appreciation to today. Everyone needs the encouragement and we need the outlook on life that it brings to us.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Ten self management principles that will impact your leadership
Healthy leaders have learned the art of self-management knowing that who they are, how they act and react, and the model they set directly impacts those who work under their leadership. Let me suggest that there are eleven critical self management principles that all leaders should pay attention to.
Our Attitudes
Leaders do not have the luxury of being careless with their attitudes - toward people, situations, or life. One of the jobs of a leader is to inspire others toward healthy action, encourage the staff and be able to maintain a positive outlook on life, even when life is not cooperating. Their attitudes impact everyone around them.
Our Emotions
All of us have emotions. Leaders learn to manage their emotions so that their emotions do not cause them trouble. Think of how angry eruptions and words spoken in the heat of emotion cause harm to people. Leaders who cannot control their emotions cause uncertainty for the staff they lead. It has been the downfall of many otherwise bright leaders.
Our Empathy
Without empathy, leaders are not seen as caring individuals but as cold and lacking concern. Some people have a lot of natural empathy. When that is not the case, leaders must cultivate the practice of empathy. Empathy is a key in healthy relationships and relationships are a key to leadership.
Our Self Awareness
Self awareness is the ability to discern how we are perceived by others and how our actions, attitudes and words impact others. Lack of self-awareness causes great misunderstanding and assumptions by others that we don't care. When a leader is not naturally self aware they need coaching and feedback from others if they are going to lead successfully.
Our Focus
Focused leaders developed focused staff while the opposite is also true. Good leaders choose to hold themselves to a high standard of discipline in their work including eliminating those things they should not do and focusing on the most strategic.
Our Empowerment
It is easy to control. It is harder to properly empower but that is the key to a healthy team and healthy leaders are rigorous in empowering others within boundaries to accomplish their work.
Our Boundaries
Boundaries are the things we do not allow in our behavior and in the behavior of others because it is hurtful to the culture we want to create. In effect, leaders set the boundaries for what is out of bounds within the organization or team.
Our Example
We lead most powerfully be example. When our stated commitments and example are not in alignment the result is cynicism. When they are in alignment, staff know that we are serious. Examples speak louder than words.
Our Humility
Everyone thinks they are humble but that is the insidious nature of pride. Humility comes when we know our strengths, are acutely and equally aware of our shadow side and our need for others. Humility is cultivated through time with God and a great deal of introspection.
Our Service
Few things speak louder than our commitment to serve those we lead and help them be all they can be. For leaders, life is not about us but about others and the mission that binds us together. The more we serve, the better leaders we become.
Each of these ten areas of a leaders life must be practiced with intentionality for successful, healthy leadership.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Our Attitudes
Leaders do not have the luxury of being careless with their attitudes - toward people, situations, or life. One of the jobs of a leader is to inspire others toward healthy action, encourage the staff and be able to maintain a positive outlook on life, even when life is not cooperating. Their attitudes impact everyone around them.
Our Emotions
All of us have emotions. Leaders learn to manage their emotions so that their emotions do not cause them trouble. Think of how angry eruptions and words spoken in the heat of emotion cause harm to people. Leaders who cannot control their emotions cause uncertainty for the staff they lead. It has been the downfall of many otherwise bright leaders.
Our Empathy
Without empathy, leaders are not seen as caring individuals but as cold and lacking concern. Some people have a lot of natural empathy. When that is not the case, leaders must cultivate the practice of empathy. Empathy is a key in healthy relationships and relationships are a key to leadership.
Our Self Awareness
Self awareness is the ability to discern how we are perceived by others and how our actions, attitudes and words impact others. Lack of self-awareness causes great misunderstanding and assumptions by others that we don't care. When a leader is not naturally self aware they need coaching and feedback from others if they are going to lead successfully.
Our Focus
Focused leaders developed focused staff while the opposite is also true. Good leaders choose to hold themselves to a high standard of discipline in their work including eliminating those things they should not do and focusing on the most strategic.
Our Empowerment
It is easy to control. It is harder to properly empower but that is the key to a healthy team and healthy leaders are rigorous in empowering others within boundaries to accomplish their work.
Our Boundaries
Boundaries are the things we do not allow in our behavior and in the behavior of others because it is hurtful to the culture we want to create. In effect, leaders set the boundaries for what is out of bounds within the organization or team.
Our Example
We lead most powerfully be example. When our stated commitments and example are not in alignment the result is cynicism. When they are in alignment, staff know that we are serious. Examples speak louder than words.
Our Humility
Everyone thinks they are humble but that is the insidious nature of pride. Humility comes when we know our strengths, are acutely and equally aware of our shadow side and our need for others. Humility is cultivated through time with God and a great deal of introspection.
Our Service
Few things speak louder than our commitment to serve those we lead and help them be all they can be. For leaders, life is not about us but about others and the mission that binds us together. The more we serve, the better leaders we become.
Each of these ten areas of a leaders life must be practiced with intentionality for successful, healthy leadership.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
You get what you create and allow in your organization
Organizations have cultures. In large part they are what the senior leader intentionally creates as the culture of the organization. It is also deeply impacted by what a leader allows within the team or organization. "You get what you create and allow" in your organization (thanks to Henry Cloud for this quote).
For instance consider what happens when leaders allow the following:
What leaders allow they get! There are things that leaders should not allow or put up with if they want to create a healthy culture. But unless a leader draws clear boundaries on what they allow in their organization or team (or church) they will get behaviors that hurt the rest of the team.
On the positive side, leaders create a kind of culture through the expectations they create. In our organization that includes things like:
What you allow (or don't) and what you create (or don't) becomes the culture of your organization. Something to think about.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
For instance consider what happens when leaders allow the following:
- Negative attitudes that corrode enthusiasm and optimism.
- People that do not keep their commitments and are not challenged.
- Conflict that goes unresolved.
- Complaining, gossip and poor attitudes.
- Lack of cooperation and collegiality
What leaders allow they get! There are things that leaders should not allow or put up with if they want to create a healthy culture. But unless a leader draws clear boundaries on what they allow in their organization or team (or church) they will get behaviors that hurt the rest of the team.
On the positive side, leaders create a kind of culture through the expectations they create. In our organization that includes things like:
- When something goes wrong we do autopsy without blame.
- We practice an non defensive attitude of nothing to prove, nothing to lose.
- We always encourage robust dialogue where any issue can be discussed as long as there are no hidden agendas or personal attacks.
- We lead through team.
- We have a no elephants policy. Once named they are no longer elephants, simply issues to be discussed and resolved.
What you allow (or don't) and what you create (or don't) becomes the culture of your organization. Something to think about.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Six questions that can help you vet ministry ideas and choices. When to say no
What does your ministry - church, mission, para-church or other - say yes to and what do they say no to? Ideas, opportunities and options are easy to come by. What is more difficult is knowing if one should spend energy, time and resources on a particular idea, proposal or opportunity. And if your gut says "no" how do you communicate that to those who made the suggestion?
No ministry can do everything. The most effective ministries have a clear focus on what God has called them to do and are wise in the decisions they make regarding ministry opportunities.
Remember:
- Not all ministry opportunities are equally important.
- Some opportunities will dilute your current effectiveness.
- Everything you do takes time, resources and energy.
- Maximizing your influence means that you have a grid by which to say yes and no.
I have served in both church and mission settings. In both, there are more requests, opportunities and ideas than one can accommodate and stay focused and effective. It is not a question of whether someone is called to fulfill a certain ministry. The question is whether you are called to fulfill it and if this is the right time to do so.
There are a number of questions one should ask about potential ministry opportunities that can help determine whether one should move forward.
One: Does it fit our mission? Your mission is your true north so if a good idea does not fit your mission it will become a distraction. A good idea that does not contribute to your mission is a bad idea - for you.
Two: Is it truly strategic? Not all opportunities are equal. Some will give you significant ministry leverage and others will not. Maximizing our ministry opportunities is simply wise stewardship.
Three: Do you have the resources, time and energy to meet the opportunity without diluting other important things you are doing? You have limited resources so you need to understand the impact of saying yest to other ministries you are engaged in.
Four: Is there qualified, passionate and available leadership to make it happen well? Many ministries fail at this point. There may be a need but without the passionate leadership of a qualified individual it cannot flourish.
Five: Is there a plan or just an idea? Without a well thought out plan your opportunity is likely to fail. Ideas are not plans. Plans are necessary to flesh out a ministry opportunity and in that exercise you learn a lot about its viability.
Six: Do you have an evaluation process to determine whether what you started should be continued. The lack of evaluation is a key reason that ministries build up a stack of general ministries which yield general results.
It is a good thing to say NO if these six questions cannot be answered adequately. Saying yes to a few strategic options is far more effective to saying yes to all options. And that means that we also need to say no.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Expanding our influence and span of ministry
Most of us desire to expand our spiritual influence and our span of ministry. In order to do this there is one skill that we must learn and practice and that is to authentically give ministry away to other qualified people.
Take the local church. Many ministries that I observe do not do this well. Typically there is an invisible string that goes from the senior pastor to each ministry in the church. The result is that the church can only grow to the extent of the number of strings and relationships the senior pastor can juggle. He becomes the bottleneck because one way or another he has the final say.
Another outcome of this management style is that those who run the various ministries are not truly empowered within appropriate boundaries to lead themselves. They are always looking over their shoulder to see what the senior pastor wants or will say.
I have a core conviction that in order to expand our influence and span of ministry we must do three things. One: develop good people. Two: Empower good people. Three: Release good people. I call it Develop, Empower and Release. The more we do this, the more influence we will have in the kingdom.
On the other hand, the more I need to control or pull strings, or look over the shoulder of good people, the less true influence I will have since I am limiting them from fully taking responsibility and meeting their potential.
This is about giving ministry away, which is the job of those called into full time ministry according to Paul in Ephesians 4:12. Now we need to give ministry away to the right people. But once we find them, once we develop them, we must empower them and release them. They then take full responsibility for their ministry within agreed upon boundaries and not needing our permission are given the freedom to soar.
The more we do this the more spiritual influence we have. We gain spiritual influence by giving it away. We lose spiritual influence by not giving it away.
I am convinced that this is the key in missions today. Missionaries are there to raise up indigenous leaders as quickly as possible and then empower and release them to do what they can do better than we in their culture. As we multiply ourselves by giving ministry away we expand our influence and span of ministry. To the extent that we do not, we limit our influence and span of ministry.
My observation is that missions are notorious slow in giving ministry away, in truly empowering and releasing. We talk the talk but we do not walk the walk. Instead we create dependencies which may make us feel good (we are needed) But which does not expand our spiritual influence and release others to be all that they can be.
Here is the irony. When we hang on we lose influence but when we give it away we gain influence. Think about your ministry. How much are you genuinely giving away? How much are you hanging on to? Why would you hang on? How much are you trying to control and how much are you giving up control by empowering other good people?
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
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