It is not something that we often think about but there is a challenge to organizational success: It often outgrows the ability of it's senior leader to lead it. Someone who shined at one stage of an organization's life cycle actually can become an impediment to that very organization in its next period.
It is a variation on the Peter Principle which states that every individual gets promoted to their level of incompetence and stays there. In this case, however, the leader is not the the one getting promoted. Rather, the organization's success has caused growth which adds complexity and therefore a different set of leadership skills than the senior leader has. The result, however, is that the organization now has a leader who is no longer effective in the same organization that they were effective in previously.
I often see this in churches where the growth of the ministry takes the senior leader out of their lane as it requires a different set of skills than it did when the church was smaller. Some senior pastors can grow with the growth of the ministry and some cannot: they are simply not wired to lead a larger organization. Thus their initial success now becomes their greatest liability and if not cognizant of the dynamics at play can actually hurt the very ministry they worked so hard to build.
At this juncture staff often become restless because they sense a leadership void in the church. Boards can become frustrated because they sense the same but cannot put their finger on what is wrong since things worked in the past. Congregants who sense that the ministry is drifting without a purpose often quietly move on. And, senior leaders can become defensive when the issues are brought up because they don't want to leave and like the frog in the kettle don't realize that the temperature has gone up because of their own limitations.
Often a leader in this situation will sense there is something askew and depending on their personal emotional security will seek counsel and feedback from others. Where they come from a place of insecurity they will often ignore the symptoms and resist candid conversation on the issues.
All of us have limitations on our ability to lead. Understanding those limitations allows us to maximize our leadership potential and part of that equation is knowing when we have reached that place. Because once we do, we either reconfigure our job, move on or start to erode the successes of the past. Part of good EQ is understanding ourselves, our lane and the role in which we will be most impactful. This often takes the perspective of others around us who see things we may not see and can give us honest feedback.
Our limitations are not a failure on our part. They often simply reflect how God designed and wired us (Ephesians 2:10) and part of our responsibility is to stay in the lane for which we were designed and where we will be most successful. There are many things I am not qualified to do but when I stay in the lane God designed for me I am fulfilled and productive. And, I never want to hurt the very ministry I have worked so hard to build. Besides, it is not my ministry but God's!
If the ministry we lead outgrows us, we have much to celebrate: We took it as far as we could and now we hand it off to someone who can take it further. Not for our glory but for His! And if it is His glory we seek we will always do what is right for the ministry even if it feels inconvenient to us.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Not complaining, just saying
If you must be in the hospital you need a sense of humor. And if you are going to get sick, the Deaconnes hospital in Bozeman, Montana is awesome. Great care and great people - the two go together. However there are some things that I wondered about.
Hospital food. OK enough said, except for most of my stay, when they did feed me it was a clear liquid diet. Like, jello, water, some sort of broth and apple juice. Now being a simple guy I figured that Diet Coke had to qualify too. After all you can see through it just like jello, but sadly, no, it is not part of a liquid diet. I settled for water.
"The Management." There were a number of signs in my room that were signed by "The Management." Who is the management? If I asked to speak to the "management" who would show up? And further, why do I need to know that these instructions come from the "management?" Another thing, what if you ignore the instructions? What does the "management?" do? Kick you out? Give you a lecture? decrease your grade? It can be scary to be in the hospital and thinking you might just tick off the "management." Being who I am I kind of ignored the "management" and nothing happened.
Before I could leave, my nurse had to walk me through my post-hospital instructions. There was an ambiguous reference to dealing with anxiety so being inquisitive I asked her what that was about. She said that when I was in the ICU I became anxious. Hmmm, was that when I could not breathe and they were going to intubate me again? There is something about not being able to breathe that makes me anxious at times. But better people probably don't have that issue. So I'll work on it.
Last thing. Did you ever notice it is hard to leave a hospital? It is kind of like being in jail. Quite easy to get in and a lot harder to leave. There is always one more form to sign or permission to get. It is a daylong process every time I have had to work it through. Maybe the "management" is checking to ensure that I have not stolen any of the dandy furnishings in my room! Or maybe I am such a model patient that they didn't want to see me leave. I am pretty sure it is the latter.
So glad to be out and thanks to all the caregivers at Deaconnes hospital. And for all those who were praying a huge thank you. There were some amazing God moments. For now, I am hiding out in the Montana mountains off the grid (true statement) hoping that the managment does not find me. Oh, and I miss the hospital gown with the constant breeze in the back.
Hospital food. OK enough said, except for most of my stay, when they did feed me it was a clear liquid diet. Like, jello, water, some sort of broth and apple juice. Now being a simple guy I figured that Diet Coke had to qualify too. After all you can see through it just like jello, but sadly, no, it is not part of a liquid diet. I settled for water.
"The Management." There were a number of signs in my room that were signed by "The Management." Who is the management? If I asked to speak to the "management" who would show up? And further, why do I need to know that these instructions come from the "management?" Another thing, what if you ignore the instructions? What does the "management?" do? Kick you out? Give you a lecture? decrease your grade? It can be scary to be in the hospital and thinking you might just tick off the "management." Being who I am I kind of ignored the "management" and nothing happened.
Before I could leave, my nurse had to walk me through my post-hospital instructions. There was an ambiguous reference to dealing with anxiety so being inquisitive I asked her what that was about. She said that when I was in the ICU I became anxious. Hmmm, was that when I could not breathe and they were going to intubate me again? There is something about not being able to breathe that makes me anxious at times. But better people probably don't have that issue. So I'll work on it.
Last thing. Did you ever notice it is hard to leave a hospital? It is kind of like being in jail. Quite easy to get in and a lot harder to leave. There is always one more form to sign or permission to get. It is a daylong process every time I have had to work it through. Maybe the "management" is checking to ensure that I have not stolen any of the dandy furnishings in my room! Or maybe I am such a model patient that they didn't want to see me leave. I am pretty sure it is the latter.
So glad to be out and thanks to all the caregivers at Deaconnes hospital. And for all those who were praying a huge thank you. There were some amazing God moments. For now, I am hiding out in the Montana mountains off the grid (true statement) hoping that the managment does not find me. Oh, and I miss the hospital gown with the constant breeze in the back.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Update on TJ
Sorry for the delay in Blogging. My wife and I travelled to Montana last Thursday and I ended up in the ICU with pneumonia an Saturday. For prayer updates you can visit reach TJ at www.reachTJ.com
Friday, June 20, 2014
You are not hearing me!
What does that statement mean? Do they think I need hearing aids? Or that I don't understand what they are saying? Or not paying adequate attention. Well I guess on a bad day all three are possibilities! But no, that is not usually what this statement means. In most cases what they are saying is "you must not be hearing me because you won't agree with me." Or to put it another way, "if you truly heard me, you would agree with me."
Not necessarily so!
The truth is that I do hear you but I just don't agree with you on the point you are making. Nor do I or others need to. Self definition is all about the ability to have a personal position that may well be different than someone else's position and be OK with that. Those who use the phrase "You are not hearing me" are saying the opposite: You need to adopt my position, and they are not OK with others holding a contrary position.
This phrase can actually be used to manipulate others by keeping a conversation going on the pretext that we are not hearing or understanding what the other party is saying. Truth is we did hear, we did not agree and that is that! It is not only OK but it is a sign of a self defined person. This of course does not rule out constructive dialogue between differing points of view. What it does rule out is that we are not hearing. We are but simply choose not to agree.
Not necessarily so!
The truth is that I do hear you but I just don't agree with you on the point you are making. Nor do I or others need to. Self definition is all about the ability to have a personal position that may well be different than someone else's position and be OK with that. Those who use the phrase "You are not hearing me" are saying the opposite: You need to adopt my position, and they are not OK with others holding a contrary position.
This phrase can actually be used to manipulate others by keeping a conversation going on the pretext that we are not hearing or understanding what the other party is saying. Truth is we did hear, we did not agree and that is that! It is not only OK but it is a sign of a self defined person. This of course does not rule out constructive dialogue between differing points of view. What it does rule out is that we are not hearing. We are but simply choose not to agree.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
My insincere apology for any offence I might have committed
All too often when we have done something that we need to apologize for we further complicate matters with "half apologies," or "self justifying" apologies - neither of which are true apologies. In fact, the absence of apologies for wrongs committed is ubiquitous in all of society today, including the Christian community. We just don't like to admit we were wrong and need to do something about it.
What is a half apology? It often goes something like this: "If I have offended you in any way please forgive me." Now think about that for a moment. The very reason the individual is apologizing is that they know they have offended the other party - and they know how they offended.
Putting the "if" in the apology along with the "any way" makes it a very general and comfortable apology. In effect it says, I don't know if I offended you or how but should it be the case please forgive me. This kind of apology minimizes the offense by suggesting we don't know what we did and the impact the offense had on others. By making it very general it also conveniently lets us off the hook from needing to specifically admit what it was that we did to cause the offense. It may even put the blame back on the other individual for being so thin skinned that they took offense at such a trivial matter.
The "self justifying apology" goes something like this. "If I have offended you in any way please forgive me" and then proceeds to justify why we did what we did. In other words it is far more about justifying our actions than it is about apologizing for them. The apology is simply the pretext for the self justification.
What makes an apology a sincere apology? First we name the behavior or action that has caused the problem so that it is specific. Second we recognize how that behavior or action impacted another party (whether intentional or not). Third we ask for forgiveness without any self justification.
Where there has been a misunderstanding it is perfectly reasonable to explain what we intended to do which was perhaps either misinterpreted or was just careless on our part. There is a difference between explanation and self justification and the one we are apologizing to will know which one we are presenting.
Neither half apologies or self justifying apologies are sincere apologies. They are often made out of necessity (we have been called on our behavior) rather than out of contrition (we know we were wrong). But the truth is that whoever we apologize to knows whether it is sincere or not. And so do we.
What is a half apology? It often goes something like this: "If I have offended you in any way please forgive me." Now think about that for a moment. The very reason the individual is apologizing is that they know they have offended the other party - and they know how they offended.
Putting the "if" in the apology along with the "any way" makes it a very general and comfortable apology. In effect it says, I don't know if I offended you or how but should it be the case please forgive me. This kind of apology minimizes the offense by suggesting we don't know what we did and the impact the offense had on others. By making it very general it also conveniently lets us off the hook from needing to specifically admit what it was that we did to cause the offense. It may even put the blame back on the other individual for being so thin skinned that they took offense at such a trivial matter.
The "self justifying apology" goes something like this. "If I have offended you in any way please forgive me" and then proceeds to justify why we did what we did. In other words it is far more about justifying our actions than it is about apologizing for them. The apology is simply the pretext for the self justification.
What makes an apology a sincere apology? First we name the behavior or action that has caused the problem so that it is specific. Second we recognize how that behavior or action impacted another party (whether intentional or not). Third we ask for forgiveness without any self justification.
Where there has been a misunderstanding it is perfectly reasonable to explain what we intended to do which was perhaps either misinterpreted or was just careless on our part. There is a difference between explanation and self justification and the one we are apologizing to will know which one we are presenting.
Neither half apologies or self justifying apologies are sincere apologies. They are often made out of necessity (we have been called on our behavior) rather than out of contrition (we know we were wrong). But the truth is that whoever we apologize to knows whether it is sincere or not. And so do we.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Is Evangelical Worship headed for a HUGE crash?
Many congregants will resonate with this insightful article on the contemporary worship scene. Written by Jamie Brown, the Associate Pastor of Worship and Music at the Falls Church Anglican in northern Virginia.
Is Evangelical Worship headed for a HUGE crash?
Is Evangelical Worship headed for a HUGE crash?
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
How to spot a bully in the church
Newsflash: There are often people in a church who are bullies and get away with it because church leadership is too nice to call them out on their destructive behavior. Often we know something is not right but how do we know when behavior has crossed a line and is unacceptable? Here are some behavioral signs that you may be dealing with a bully.
They have to get their own way. If a group decision is not their liking and they insist that things are done their way, beware.
They intimidate in order to get their way. It can be intimidation in attitude, not letting go of an issue, always pushing or threats of one sort or another.
They triangulate others into their orbit in order to put pressure on leaders. Talking around about their "concerns" (which is nothing other than manipulation) they develop a group that they rope into their point of view so now there is a group dynamic to the bullying.
They criticize others, usually leaders in private seeking to undermine the authority of a leader or leaders. Often those they talk to will take up the offense or cause without any reason for doing so.
No matter how much attention they are given or how many conversations one has with them they do not move off their position. It is their way or no way.
They often raise their issues in congregational meetings seeking to force the hand of leadership. Nor are they nice about what they have to say.
They do not respect authority. Especially church authority - unless they are in church leadership in which case they demand others respect their authority.
They cloak their concerns and language in spiritual terms. When behaviors don't match the words, don't be fooled. This is not spiritual it is about power and getting one's way.
When confronted they deny, fight back or lie. They are not willing to be held accountable.
They hurt people who get in their way but they are never wrong and rarely apologize. After all it is about them, not others.
Why do bullies get their way in many churches? Because they can and because fellow Christians are not very smart about what is going on. After all, would a fellow Christian have ulterior motives??? The answer in many situations is "absolutely." Don't be fooled and don't be intimidated, and don't allow these kinds of behaviors in your church. It is divisive, dangerous, ungodly and evil. Call it for what it is.
They have to get their own way. If a group decision is not their liking and they insist that things are done their way, beware.
They intimidate in order to get their way. It can be intimidation in attitude, not letting go of an issue, always pushing or threats of one sort or another.
They triangulate others into their orbit in order to put pressure on leaders. Talking around about their "concerns" (which is nothing other than manipulation) they develop a group that they rope into their point of view so now there is a group dynamic to the bullying.
They criticize others, usually leaders in private seeking to undermine the authority of a leader or leaders. Often those they talk to will take up the offense or cause without any reason for doing so.
No matter how much attention they are given or how many conversations one has with them they do not move off their position. It is their way or no way.
They often raise their issues in congregational meetings seeking to force the hand of leadership. Nor are they nice about what they have to say.
They do not respect authority. Especially church authority - unless they are in church leadership in which case they demand others respect their authority.
They cloak their concerns and language in spiritual terms. When behaviors don't match the words, don't be fooled. This is not spiritual it is about power and getting one's way.
When confronted they deny, fight back or lie. They are not willing to be held accountable.
They hurt people who get in their way but they are never wrong and rarely apologize. After all it is about them, not others.
Why do bullies get their way in many churches? Because they can and because fellow Christians are not very smart about what is going on. After all, would a fellow Christian have ulterior motives??? The answer in many situations is "absolutely." Don't be fooled and don't be intimidated, and don't allow these kinds of behaviors in your church. It is divisive, dangerous, ungodly and evil. Call it for what it is.
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