The difference between resolve and pushiness in leadership

Leaders are by definition people with resolve. They believe that a certain path is the right path and will seek to move other leaders and the organization down that path. Along they way, they are not intimidated by barriers but seek to find ways to resolve those barriers. 

Some leaders, however, are pushy and sometimes even bully or intimidate others to get their way. That is resolve but it is usually a personal agenda rather than a corporate agenda and in the end hurts our cause more than it helps. Here are some downsides of being pushy to get our way.

First, people may accede to us because we have worn them down but that does not mean that we have buy in. We won the war of getting our way but probably lost valuable leadership coinage in how we did it. Assent is not the same as support.

Second, if things go south after we have pushed people to accept our agenda, they will not be helping pick up the pieces. Why should they? It was not their agenda but ours. In fact, they are liable to think we pretty much got what they expected!

Third, when there is not corporate buy in by the key stakeholders we are operating alone and autonomously. When pastors make key decisions without the support of their board or senior staff, for instance, they are walking alone. Being alone is dangerous as we are likely to overlook unintended consequences which would have become evident if a larger group was involved in the decision.

Healthy resolve comes out of conviction of a healthy direction for our team or organization. However, it is also tested for support. There have been times when I suggested key directional moves when my senior team was not ready for what seemed a radical decision. I chose to back off, keep in dialogue and try again when the timing was right - and we were able to move forward. In some cases not everything went as planned and we learned lessons along the way and tried again. The key thing was that I had the support of those who needed to buy in so I was not left hanging on my own.

I have met some pushy leaders. They got what they wanted for a period of time but when push came to shove, they were abandoned by those around them who felt used rather than engaged. Team members eventually concluded that it was not healthy resolve but pushiness and manipulation that allowed their leader to get his/her way and that in failing to engage them (and marginalizing them when they disagreed) it was more about a personal than a corporate agenda.

Resolve is healthy. Being pushy and manipulative is not. Nor does it work in the long run.

The one word that sums up all of life and ministry

That word is "Jesus."

So simple, so central and so core to everything we are and do and yet so easy to forget. 

I have my plans for the day. I have plans for my life. I have plans for the ministry I lead. But the one thing I can never forget is that it is not about me. Nor is it about the ministry I am part of. All of life is about Jesus. 

Which raises a question. Are my plans His plans? Have I talked deeply with Him about my day? Am I keeping Him central to all that I do and think and say? Is it possible that there are many days that I live out my plan but forget who is central to that plan?

For me the last two weeks have been discouraging and frustrating. I was supposed to be in Montana working on a book about Jesus and His plan for our world. Instead I am recovering from a third ICU stay for severe pneumonia and have yet to add one word to the manuscript. 

My plans were not His plans. And yet, he was amazingly gracious once again in healing me. And so I am again reminded that life is not about me but about Him. As I was reminded of this, it changed my perspective on the upcoming day. All of life and all of today is about Him. If today I can focus on Him my day will be complete whether or not I add a word to the manuscript. In fact, He writes the manuscript of life, not us. And His manuscript is perfect and without errors.

Don't forget today who life is about: It is all about Jesus.

Influencing the next generation of Christian leaders

I have a deep passion for influencing the next generation of Christian leaders. In fact, this will likely be my most significant legacy as it is an investment in the future of God's leaders and His Kingdom. When we invest in the next generation we multiply our influence in ways that we could never imagine. It is what Jesus did with the disciples and what Paul did throughout his ministry career. I fear that the emphasis on personal success today often detracts from a larger vision of God's success which will only be accomplished as each new generation of leaders is raised up.

In influencing the next generation I look for a specific kind of person, starting with those who demonstrate a deep love for God and a deep personal humility. They know that life is not about them and they are willing to dialogue about their lives, motives, hearts, dreams and practices. One of those I periodically mentor comes to our meetings with a list of questions to discuss. He is like a sponge as we talk through the list and explore possible solutions. There is no defensiveness on his part and he is willing to talk about hard things. Those who think they have it all together are not worth my time as they are not ready like the individual above to dialogue, think and consider.

I also look for those who are actively doing something with their faith. They are not about the theoretical but the practical. They may be in secular employment or ministry but their motivation is to live out the Kingdom life in their context. It is those who are grappling with real life questions that come out of real life ministry whom I am most interested in. 

What I do not care about is what denominational tribe they come from or what stream of evangelicalism. In fact, I find it deeply rewarding to bless those who come from different tribes and different streams than mine. I learn much in the process and I am constantly reminded of the colorful mosaic that makes up the family of God. There will be ONE family in heaven and I want to practice that today. It develops in me a kingdom heart and a larger vision for what God is up to and wants to accomplish.

Along the way I have discovered that the more I am willing to give myself away the greater my heart grows for those things that God cares about. The truth is that I may get more out of these mentoring relationships than the other individual. If you are not currently giving yourself away to the next generation I would ask why?  

Have a good leader? Encourage them!

Working for a healthy, empowering leader is not something we should take for granted. Leadership is like health: You don't realize how important it is until you don't have it! Never take good leadership for granted because it is not as common as we might wish.

If you work for a healthy and empowering leader, consider telling them what it is about their leadership style that you appreciate. Be specific and genuine. Not only will you encourage them but you will reinforce in their thinking those characteristics that are important to their leadership. What we take for granted in a healthy leader may not be the case with a future leader.

If your organization has an ethos of healthy leaders down through the ranks it is because a senior leader and his/her team has created a culture of health and empowerment. This never happens accidentally but is created intentionally, often at significant cost to senior leadership whose commitments are often a threat to the status quo.

When I am with an organization to speak or consult and I find a staff that is happy, empowered and treated well I will specifically mention this to the senior leader. I know they paid a price and worked hard to create a healthy culture. I want to encourage them in that journey. If you work for one of those, thank them, encourage them and pray for them.

The folly of excuses

Have you noticed that almost no one takes responsibility for bad decisions or failures today? From the White House briefing room where everything is explained away, to our own lives where it is easy to say "It was not my fault," there is a dearth of those who take responsibility when something goes wrong. Witness the hearings on Capital Hill regarding the IRS or the roll out of Obama care where absolutely no one takes any personal responsibility but shifts the blame to others. Unfortunately it also happens in ministry organizations as well.

Common dodges of responsibility include:

• I didn't make the decision
• I was not informed
• I would have done things differently
• This is obviously spiritual warfare
• If person x had done their job right, this never would have happened
• It was a decision of the board

It is all quite foolish! And those around us recognize our excuses for what they are. It is also foolish because it robs us of certain important things.

It robs us of our integrity! Excuses are nothing less than a dodging of responsibility and to put the blame on others when we are responsible, in part or in whole is to lie. And those around us see the lie for what it is. The reason we would dodge responsibility is our pride. Ironically when we own up to what happened, we gain respect.

It robs us our leadership capital. Leaders take responsibility for what happens on their watch. The best leaders admit when things went south and take responsibility for it even if they were not personally responsible. They don't gloss or dodge. They also work quickly to fix it.

It robs us of an opportunity to learn and grow. Every failure is an opportunity to do something better and address something in our thinking or our system that caused that failure. When we dodge and gloss we effectively lose that opportunity because rather than facing the issue and fixing it we dodge the issue and therefore the opportunity to learn from it.

There is something deeply refreshing about men and women who make mistakes and are up front in admitting it. We are after all human! Admission is a sign of humility while excuses are a sign of foolish pride. Excuses started immediately after sin entered the garden as Adam blames Eve and Eve blames the serpent. Excuses are a sign of our sinful nature while taking responsibility is a sign of spiritual maturity. The former robs while the latter builds character.

Three groups of people I try to keep a distance from

To the extent that we have choices about who we work or spend time with there are three groups of individuals that I am generally wary about - and keep  my distance from. And, I would not choose to have them as colleagues or staff - if they were unable to address their issues.

Those who leave a trail of hurt or wounded people behind them. These can be highly successful people but their ambition and drive cause them to use people to achieve their ends even when it ends up hurting those very people. When there is a trail of bodies behind an individual, no matter how successful they are, there is a fatal flaw that does not reflect Jesus.

Those who are passive aggressive in their behavior. This can be crazy making because to your face these individuals are agreeable but behind your back and with others they can be be doing just the opposite. But because the behavior is not up front and honest it can be hard to pin down. The behavior is a form of dishonesty and double dealing that hurts the team or organization.

Those with significant hubris. Unchecked egos cause individuals to make selfish decisions that are primarily about them rather than the organization or team. Since healthy teams are built on the good of the whole unchecked pride is incompatible with team health. Whenever it is more about us than the mission we have a serious problem. Prideful people usually don't treat others well as life is about them.

It is not unusual for leaders to need to address these kinds of behaviors. To the extent that I can avoid them I do. I don't need the drama! 

Leaders and the fruit of the Spirit

Why is it that there seem to be so many leaders in the ministry world who are pushy, pugnacious, self-centered, unkind in their comments and generally not nice people to work for? And, while they want staff to serve them they often do not serve staff and in not a few instances create toxic workplaces for those below themselves. Sometimes, their behaviors are so extreme that they make headlines in CT and other publications. The number of dysfunctional Christian leaders seems out of proportion to the general public. There I have said it!

Juxtaposed to these behaviors are the Fruit of the Spirit which are to characterize all believer's lives and one would assume an even higher standard for those who are in ministry leadership, including church board members: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, gentleness and self control (Ephesians 5:22). It is interesting that the last descriptor listed is "self control" which means that our impulses are kept in check whether it is attitude, treatment of others, use of power, our words or our demeanor.

My sense is that we pay far too little attention to our inner life as leaders which would include the nurturing of the behaviors that reflect the Holy Spirit rather than our own ambitions or inadvertently taking on the leadership methodology of the world around us. Thus what we espouse and how we lead are often in conflict with one another. 

It is sad for me to see the number of visits to blogs on dysfunctional leaders, toxic workplaces and abusive behaviors. Since my readership is largely from the evangelical world that says something about what people struggle with in terms of their own leaders. My conclusion is that leaders whose behaviors don't reflect the fruit of the Spirit should not be in ministry leadership roles. Sadly if they can "produce" they keep ending up in such roles. 

For my fellow leaders, a regular check on how we are doing against the Spirit's grid is an important exercise. We also might become happier and healthier in the process.