Overcoming fear and choosing faith

I am convinced that one of the greatest barriers to living the life of faith is fear. Think of the spies that were sent out to spy out the promised land and apart from one said it was impossible to enter the land. The people were too big and fierce. Think of Moses who argued with God that he was not able to lead the Exodus. Think of the eleven disciples watching Peter get out of the boat in the storm while they quite contentedly stayed in the back of the boat. 

The currency of the kingdom is faith while the currency of our world is one of fear. Politics are driven by fear. How much of the advertising we see is driven by fear? Fear of not having enough to retire. Fear of illness. Fear of a lack of security. We have to ask ourselves, which currency do we traffic in: Fear or Faith?

Faith according to Hebrews 11 is irrational from a human point of view. Faith caused a whole line of Biblical heroes to do the irrational - leave their homes like Abraham - choose the death of martyrs - build an ark when there was no rain - hid a child like Moses knowing God would rescue him - walk around Jericho and see the walls collapse - be saved because Rahab believed and the list could go on. Why? "Because faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1)."

Following Jesus is a step of faith, one at a time. It chooses to traffic in faith rather than fear. It chooses to bet on the uncertainty of following Jesus rather than staying in the comfort zone. It is willing to step out of the boat like Peter rather than stay in the comfort zone like the other 11. It is not without accident that the most often repeated command in all of scripture is "Do not fear." God knows that we naturally choose fear over faith. He asks us to choose faith over fear.

Fear keeps us from giving generously as we will not have enough. It keeps us from taking steps of faith that God lays on our hearts because we are uncertain of the outcome. It keeps us from radical obedience because we love our security. It keeps us from saying yes to God because we are afraid of the outcome. Peter understood something that the other eleven did not when he got out of the boat and joined Jesus on the stormy water. He understood that being with Jesus and where He wanted him was the safest place he could ever be. 

What are you afraid of today and where do you need victory over fear? It is only solved by faith: one step at a time, one decision at a time, choosing to trust. And He is trustworthy. Remember, when Abraham left his home he had no GPS to follow or Google to find out where he was going. He simply chose by faith to follow God. And he became the paradigm for faith in the New Testament. By faith.... 

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

When do you know it will not work with a staff member?

The organization I lead loves to be a place of grace and to maximize a staff member's gifts and wiring. However, there comes a time in all organizations or ministries when it is obvious that things are not going to work in the long term. Most of us in ministry are eternally optimistic that things will work out. It is the nature of ministry. But there are times when we need to recognize that it is not going to work. What are the signs that this is the case?

First, when we keep running into attitudes or behaviors that are counterproductive to the mission of the ministry or the team a staff member is on. I spoke to a leader recently who has a staff member whose behaviors indicate unteachability and a significant amount of hubris. 

He has coached and told the staff member that his behaviors are counterproductive. But nothing changes. I suggested that he is dealing with someone who does not listen or believe that what he is saying is true. Unteachable people are unlikely to succeed as they tend to sabotage themselves.

Second, when the staff member does not seem to value the mission or non-negotiables of the organization and want to do their own thing it is a warning sign. Teams and organizations only work well when everyone is in alignment with the rest of the group. Lone rangers don't work well on a team or within an organization.

Third, when there are significant EQ issues that keep popping up you know you have an issue. The question here is whether the individual can be coached toward greater EQ health. However, when there is significant pride or there is a teachability issue this becomes difficult, if not impossible.

Fourth, when you have tried to get someone a productive lane but there continue to be relational and emotional issues that keep getting in the way you know that it is probably not going to work. 

The bottom line is that when an enormous amount of time and energy has been expended in trying to make it work and it continues to remain problematic it is most likely not a good fit. Optimism needs at some point to be tempered by reality. It is amazing how the exit of one staff member can be the key to freedom, joy and productivity of the rest of the team. It is not always a conclusion we desire to come to but in these circumstances it is usually the right conclusion.

We cannot solve all the issues of staff members. It is not that they cannot find a place of effectiveness somewhere but sometimes it is not with our team or organization. Learning to be realistic as well as redemptive is a skill all leaders need to learn. After all, when it is not working for the leader it is usually not working for the rest of the team either. When we have done our best and it still does not work we need to take action - for our well being as well as for the well being of the organization.  Ironically it is usually the best for the staff member who does not fit as well. Run good process but don't prolong the pain.

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

The relationally grounded pastor from Leadership Journal

The Relationally Grounded Pastor

An interview with Eugene Peterson

A Leadership Journal interview


TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

The use of church discipline to control people or shut down discussion in the church

This week another megachurch (pastored by Matt Chandler) had to apologize publicly for how they had exercised harsh and unfair discipline among its members. In this case it was over a wife's decision to divorce her husband who admitted to a long time addiction to child pornography which predated their marriage.

This comes on the heals of James MacDonald in Chicago (Harvest Bible Church) apologizing for discipline against three board members who had spoken out about practices in the church and of course the Mark Driscoll situation at Mar's Hill where the same issues were part of the demise of the church. See the original statement of the elders of Harvest Bible Church here.

These are examples of church discipline where boards and pastors, often out of a position of power or a desire to shut down legitimate discussion use church discipline as a lever to do so. When used this way it brings huge devastation to those who are the target and in the case of McDonald and Driscoll it had a significant impact on the church - which it should have had.

Harsh discipline for the wrong reasons and done in a spirit of control and authority is contrary to the teaching of Scripture and is on the extreme end of discipline - although it happens too often, and usually for the wrong reasons.

People speaking out about issues that are legitimate issues do not hurt the church. In fact if listened to they are a great help to the church. In these cases it is usually threatened leaders who turn to disciplinary action for their own purposes of control. Ironically when this happens it is the leaders themselves who ought to be disciplined! In addition, where leaders seek to control people (the Matt Chandler situation referenced above) in ways that are inappropriate is has a cultist feel rather than the feel of a culture of grace.  

Church discipline was never designed to control people or to shut down discussion. It was designed to be a process of grace and restoration in the lives of those who perpetuate heresy, who are living in ongoing egregious sin or who are intentionally bringing serious division to a congregation. It is also designed as a process (Matthew 18) and as a last resort. When used to shut down discussion or control people it has moved from its Biblical purpose to a power play on the part of leaders.

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

What missionaries aren't telling you (and what they need from you). From a veteran missionary

What Missionaries Aren't Telling You (and What They Need From You)

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

Some of the worst things leaders can do when there is controversy or conflict in the church

One of the most difficult jobs of a church leadership board in the local church is to deal with differences of opinion within the congregation especially when the issues are major, sides are being taken by parishioners and there may even be the possibility of a church split (whether that means many people leaving or the church literally splitting). 

Boards often respond to such situations just as a person does when attacked - with a defensive posture. Often it includes a circling of the wagons where there is a great deal of secrecy, the labeling of people who may disagree with their position as dissidents, an attempt to shut down discussion of the issues and even intimidation through threats of "church discipline." In other words, just as each of us operates in difficult circumstances with either good or bad EQ, there is a corporate board EQ that responds either in healthy or unhealthy ways to church related issues. 

Ironically, while boards can point the finger at what they may justifiably (or not) label behaviors of congregants as sinful or divisive, they can be equally guilty of the same behaviors. Of course they can use the "authority" card, even when their behaviors are not healthy!

I have several suggestions for boards who find themselves in this position.

One. Do not shut down legitimate discussion. Whenever we try to muzzle people we are operating out of fear rather than from a position of health. Whenever there cannot be a free discussion of differences - while staying connected with one another we are operating from fear. Healthy leaders both invite candid dialogue and work toward win/win solutions rather than a win/lose solution. They are non-defensive, open, listen carefully and work toward solutions that preserve the unity of the church. When boards circle the wagons free dialogue is over.

Two: Do not marginalize people who disagree with you. This is a common behavior when one feels under attack. Rarely is this about whether those who disagree with us are sinful or righteous, but rather that we disagree on process or solutions. Often division comes when one side or another takes a position that disenfranchises the other rather than looking for ways to address the concerns of both sides. 

Three: Don't do it alone. When issues become magnified and positions become stakes in the ground you often need an outside facilitator who can help moderate a discussion. A skilled outside facilitator does not have an agenda and therefore can speak to both sides and help them come together. Resisting an outside voice is usually an indicator that we want our way rather than a win/win solution. 

Four: Realize that the more you spin the issues and try to manage people who disagree with you the more dysfunctional the debate will become. People don't like to be manipulated and many boards who go on the defensive do just that with spiritual language, board "authority" and actions that put people in a corner. The more a board tries to "manage" the debate rather than allowing it to occur the more dysfunctional the debate will become. Ironically it is in trying to shut down discussion that the issues become even more problematic. When people don't feel heard, they will try all the harder to be heard. 

Five: Remember that you can split the church (the bride) simply by making it clear that "if you don't agree you should leave." Many will not fight a board and pastor but feel forced out nonetheless. When people start redirecting their giving, for instance, it is usually done because they feel no other way to send a message to leaders about the direction of the church. Leaders who don't pay attention to such signs are either in denial or foolish. I am always amazed by leaders (including pastors) who are willing to see large numbers of people leave who don't agree with them. They may get their way but there will be no end to the conflict as those who leave continue to have relationships back at the church they left. 

Six: You cannot move forward by marginalizing a segment of the church. Leaders need to honor the past as they build for the future. Being willing to sacrifice the past for the future is neither Biblical nor unifying. Yet it happens all too often. Ephesians 4:3ff is a good place to start in terms of how we see the folks in our congregations: 

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to one hope when you were called - one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."

Boards and other leaders who feel on the defensive need to live out the theology of unity. It takes wisdom and humility but it is possible.

Posted from Rockford, IL

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Ways that otherwise good leaders often sabotage their leadership

It is very possible to have significant leadership skills and still undermine one's own leadership. And this is not only a risk for young leaders for often for leaders that have seen significant success. 

Hubris. This should be obvious but it isn't always! Success breeds confidence and that confidence can cause us to overestimate our wisdom and underestimate our need for counsel. This can creep up on us over time without our realizing it until we are no longer open to the input of others which eventually comes back to bite us.

Schedule. Good leaders are in demand. That demand can cause us to say yes too often and no too seldom. Busyness wears us down, tires our bodies and minds, robs us of think time and even God. Schedule erosion eventually catches up to us in negative ways.

Entitlement. Successful leaders can start to believe that the rules don't apply to them as they apply to others. One of the ways this often plays out is in behaviors that they would not allow others to exhibit but which they feel they can. This may be carelessness in the treatment of others in words or attitudes or simply taking staff for granted. Because they have positional authority they often get away with behaviors that they shouldn't but by doing so they lose the respect of their staff.

Laziness. Many leaders who saw success in one period of life lose their edge in another because they no longer feel the need to stay sharp, learn new skills, and understand the changing environment around them. This can be the result of out of control schedules or hubris but whenever we stop being intentional in our own development we begin to lose our ability to lead well.

Health. This is one I understand and I have had to become deeply intentional about addressing my own health issues. When we don't those issues often compromise our energy and our ability to carry out our leadership roles. In the second half of life, this is one that leaders must become more intentional about if they are going to go the distance.

Transformation. It is what God wants to do in our hearts, thinking, priorities (lifestyle) and relationships and it is a life long process. I love the comment my brother made at my father's funeral service. "He was not a perfect man but he kept getting better." Cooperating with the Holy Spirit to become everything God made us to be and to become more and more like Jesus is one of prime responsibilities of leaders who model transformation for others. When we lose our intentionality here others notice and it sabotages our leadership.

Clarity. Lack of personal and leadership clarity leaves both us and our staff without focus. No matter how brilliant one is, a lack of focus creates confusion for those one leads and dissipates the energy that one expends. Life should be journey toward ever greater clarity about what God wants us to do (and alternatively not do), what our priorities should be (and there should be only a few) and what the target is for our work (without which our staff will lack direction). 

Discipline. No amount of brilliance makes up for a lack of discipline in our lives. Our personal discipline is a reflection of our understanding of God's call on our lives and our commitment to steward the gifts He has given for maximum impact. Lack of discipline communicates a carelessness about that stewardship. 

Jesus. Life is not about us but about Him. It is easy to forget that and to focus on our things rather than His things. Whenever we take our eyes off of Him we start to sink as Peter did when He left the boat to be with Him. To the extent that we lose that focus we hurt our leadership - and ourselves.

What sabotages your leadership? It can be one of these or it can be other things. Being sensitive to whatever it is will allow us to go the distance.

Posted from Rockford, Il

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.