When a pastor resigns but doesn't leave

I recently received a call from a staff member of a large church that I know well. Their long-time pastor has resigned. Not only is he still on the payroll, but he remains in town and meets with several dozen key church leaders regularly, including several elders.

This leader has been the impetus for many staff members leaving the church over the years due to his domineering manner, bully tactics, and desire to get his own way. He has a terrible reputation among the staff he worked with but is loved by the congregation, who are unaware of the internal dysfunction. He gets his own way, and the board does not constrain him. He is a force of nature, and they will not go head-to-head with him.

The elders are well-meaning but naïve. They allowed a dysfunctional situation to exist for years longer than they should have. They had the information they needed to deal with the situation but did not. And now, when they have secured a resignation, their former leader is inexorably linked to the congregation through the leaders he meets with weekly, including several elders. After all, it is only a bible study!

Why do intelligent people often check their intellect at the door of a church board meeting? As if the pastor has all wisdom and they none? In my years of consulting with congregations, I have seen this repeatedly. Often, after due diligence, I tell the board what I have found, and what amazes me is that they are not unaware. But they have not done anything about the matter. In the meantime, people have been hurt.

These same elders plan to have a new pastor by the end of the year. Even though the most recent pastor has been there for several decades. I told the staff member who spoke with me that no wise pastor would touch this church, given the history above and the ongoing relationship of the past senior pastor with the church. Oh, there will be plenty of pastors willing to come because it is a well-known church. But they will never be their own leader, and they are likely to be a short-term casualty of the prior pastor who, while "gone," is still "there." He got his way for years, and he will continue to get his way if he stays. He will also most likely end up destroying the ministry of the new leader.

As I listened, I had two reactions. One was amazement at the lack of discernment on the part of the leaders. The other was, "I have seen this kind of situation too many times," where board members are simply not thinking wisely about the situations they face. This is not leadership. This is not being innocent as a dove but wise as a serpent. I am sad but not surprised. Their actions or inaction are setting up the next leader to fail and, in doing so, to hurt the congregation they are responsible for.

Leaders: Lead with wisdom and don't be naïve about the intentions and actions of others. Please! Don't be foolish in the name of "nice." 

Managing problematic firings or resignations

How does one message the resignation of a staff member when they have chosen to resign because they are not on the same page as the leader or organization - or have been asked to resign for the same reason or for reasons of effectiveness?

All of us who have supervised for a while have probably handled these situations in ways that we wish we could have done differently. But our dumb tax is what helps us figure out what not to do in the future.

There is no perfect way of handling situations like this but here are some things to think about.

We are often tempted to try to paint the resignation in a rosier fashion than is warranted, both to save face for the ministry and the one who is leaving. It is good to be gracious always in our communication. However, if it is well known that there has been either conflict or a problem, messaging the leaving in a rosy fashion can come across as disingenuous to those who know better. In that case it is better to be factual - than to write something that is not true.

Resignations can be problematic both for the ministry and for the one leaving. The first thing I do in these cases is to have a candid discussion with the one leaving as to the implications of how both sides handle the transition. In a ministry, how we handle transitions comes down to not hurting the work God is doing even if we feel we have been ill treated. For a staff member in a church to seek to divide the church in their anger is to hurt the bride of Christ, not a wise thing to do regardless of how we view the circumstances.

The discussion should start with the question, "What will honor God as we walk through the transition?" I have watched staff member handle themselves with great honor and others who have handled themselves with amazing dishonor. How we handle these situations is really a reflection of our character. To the extent that we can control the situation we want to honor God in the process.

If there is bad blood it is wise to sit down with the one leaving and talk about the implications of what both sides say. If you plan to give a severance package it is always a wise thing to tie that severance package to an agreement as to what each side is going to communicate. There is no place for trashing one another in the process and the employer has some pull in that they can tie a severance package to a legally binding agreement as is done in business all the time.

Where there is a belligerent attitude on the part of the one departing, it is fair to say to them that you intend to be gracious in your response - but that if they choose to trash the ministry on the way out that you reserve the right to be more forthcoming in response if necessary to the questions that will come from those whom the employee has communicated with. That gives them an incentive to be circumspect in what they say.

It behooves the ministry to be as generous as they can be when there is a problematic resignation. Whether we like it or not, people have a constituency and their constituency will often take up their offense. You do not need to be apologetic for doing the right thing but one does want to be able to show grace and care in the process.

This also goes to helping the individual, where appropriate, with finding another job through an outside service. Again, a generous spirit is far better than a stingy one, even if one thinks that the staff member does not deserve it.

Often a staff member will ask for several months so that they can find another job. If the resignation is problematic this is not a good idea because the awkwardness of the situation will inevitably affect the rest of the staff. It is better to agree to paying them for a period of time but ask them to spend their time looking for another job and not continuing on in their current role in the process. I have tried it. It rarely works.

It goes without saying that you want to ensure that you do not open yourself up to legal liability in this process. Consult an HR professional to ensure that you are within the law in what you do and what you say and that you have adequately documented what you need to document.

In churches there is often a belief that the congregation needs to know everything. Not only is that a foolish thing to do but it is very easy to open yourself up to legal liability by disclosing certain information.

Again, an HR professional can keep you from making a misstep here. I strongly advise that any communication that is made is run by either an attorney or HR professional in today's litigious environment. I have actually seen staff members who are leaving, whether forced or not, bring their attorneys to church business meetings to see what is or is not being said.

Finally, leaders should be wise but not intimidated by a staff member that is intent on hurting the ministry on the way out. That behavior is actually proof that you have made the right decision.

What we aim for is a process that honors the ministry, the individual leaving and the people of God.