Spiritual poverty

The greatest poverty of all is not physical poverty (as profound as that is in our world) but spiritual poverty, poverty of spirit and of the soul.  It is the poverty of being out of fellowship with our creator!

Satan delights in spiritual poverty for he knows that it robs life of its true meaning as men and women made in God’s Image. Anything he can do to encourage a substitute for the true God He will do. It may be an alternate definition of truth, the pursuit of stuff and wealth, the distractions of life or for believers, encouraging us to keep God on the periphery of our lives rather than in the center. Anything that keeps the created from the creator is fair game for Satan. For he knows that it is the creator who brings meaning to the created.

As a mission leader I have the opportunity to travel to many places in our world and we see first-hand the poverty of spirit that pervades our fallen world. It is seen in many forms. In India with Hinduism it is wondering which of the 30 to 40 million Gods one should worship and appease, never really knowing if you chose the right on. In Buddhism it is the endless cycle of existence in some form or another until you get it right.

In Islam it is either a fatalistic fear of God or trying to perform well enough to please Mohamed. In much of the former communist block it is atheism with no God at all. In each case there is a spiritual poverty that keeps people in fear or substitutes some lesser thing for the fullness that only Jesus can offer.

Solomon, with all his possessions understood how empty life was when lived apart from a relationship with God. In fact, he said that it is only God Himself who gives us the ability to truly enjoy those things God has given to us.

“Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him – for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work – this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20).”

Even those who profess faith in Christ can experience spiritual poverty when Jesus is not at the center of their lives. It is He who gives our lives meaning and purpose but unless we are living out His call on our lives we can experience significant emptiness. Life is more than the abundance of our possessions, the toys we can accumulate or the leisure we enjoy. All of those can be gifts of God, according to Solomon but only when God is at the center for it is He who gives us the ability to truly enjoy all of life.

How do we defeat Satan’s attempts to diminish our lives? We keep Jesus at the center of all that we are and all that we do. This includes nourishing our relationship with Jesus through His Word and prayer, being attentive to the voice of His spirit in our hearts, using the gifts He has given for His purposes and the advancement of His Kingdom and loving others as Jesus loved them. When Jesus is central to all that we do Satan is robbed of his ability to deprive us of God’s goodness, joy and purpose. Everything that takes away from our relationship with our Creator should be resisted and everything that keeps Jesus central in our lives should be embraced.

I will empower you but you need to keep me informed

I am a deep believer in the need for leaders to empower other good people rather than to micromanage, control or insist that things be done my way. It is only through giving opportunity away that we are able to sustain growth and see the organization realize its full potential. Leaders who don't empower others are doomed to plateau their ministry at some point. And to disempower other staff who could be doing a great deal more.

There is, however, a reciprocal responsibility to those leaders who empower and give responsibility: staff have an obligation to always keep their leader informed of things he/she need to know. In giving opportunity away, leaders take a risk: if things are not handled well it can come back to hurt the organization. Yet one cannot grow a scaleable ministry or business without empowering others. 

The responsibility of leaders is to build the right team and empower that team. The responsibility of that team is to keep the leader informed of things that the leader needs to know. No leader likes surprises, or to find out from others that something went south.  Sometimes things will go south, that is life but the first one to know should be the leader of the team or organization.

Wise leaders empower other good people. Wise staff keep their leader informed when there are issues. It is a relationship of mutual trust and support. 

Regrets in our lives

We all have them - no one goes through life unscathed by regrets. What do we do with them?

First, acknowledge them to yourself. They may be regrets of things we should have done or things we regret we did. Some may be sin, others simply choices we made that were not healthy. Acknowledging them is the first step in dealing with them.

Second, where forgiveness is needed, ask for it whether of God or others. It is amazing what happens when the grace of God washes over our regrets. When others forgive they exhibit God's grace in a personal way. Once dealt with, there is no point in re-sawing the sawdust. What God and others have forgiven is past and we can put it to rest. 

But, there is a third piece. That is reorganizing our lives so that we don't repeat the behaviors that caused us regret in the first place. It is choosing new decisions, paths and behaviors. If we do, we have learned from our failures and allowed them to move us into healthier places. It is the lessons not learned in regret that are most painful.

We have a gracious God who forgives willingly and quickly when we acknowledge our failures. Don't live with regret. Deal with it, learn from it and allow His forgiveness to wash over your heart.

Why I love working with my team

I am in an enviable position with a senior team that is amazing - 13 leaders. I love working with them, enjoy their company, and we are on a common mission to see 100 million people impacted with the gospel and to multiply transformational churches globally. Here is why I love working with them.

1. The team is deeply committed to our mission. The missional glue is strong and when a team lives and breathes an organization's purpose, there is energy, synergy and a common bond that is second to none.

2. The team has really good EQ! Problematic EQ can kill an other wise good team but this team has great EQ. We can engage in the most robust dialogue while staying in relationship and it is in our clash of ideas that we see the best decisions emerge. The high EQ factor makes for healthy relationships.

3. The team allows each leader to lead in their arena but supports one another heavily. There is no competition and no turf wars or silos on this team. We respect one another's expertise, support each other and work toward common goals. At the same time we can ask critical questions and challenge one another which keeps us sharp.

4. There are no elephants on the team - no issues that cannot be put on the table and discussed. And when they are there are no personal attacks or hidden agendas. Elephants are only issues in disguise that once named can be managed. We work together with a great deal of transparency and honesty.

5. The team is never satisfied with what is and is always pressing into what could be and greater missional effectiveness. I love the sense of urgency that the team has and while we celebrate the wins we are never content to stay where we are but are always asking how we can do better.

6. The team loves to pray together and for one another. They know that unless God is in it and unless we live in the power of the Holy Spirit that we're not going to get where we want to go. We enjoy our times of worship and prayer.

7. The team is always ready to think in new ways and try new things. There is no sense of status quo but one of entrepreneurial thinking that is refreshing and keeps me as the team leader on my toes. And they are not afraid to challenge me!

8. The team believes in ministry excellence. If we are going to do something we are going to do it well even if it means finding new and better ways of doing things. 

9. The team has longevity. While there is turnover as God leads individuals there are long term relationships on the team that have made for great trust and deep relationships. 

Every day I thank God for the amazing team He has provided me and ReachGlobal. Healthy teams are a joy to be a part of.

Deadly emails

Most of us have a love/hate relationship with email. On the one hand it is handy, on the other it can get out of control and start to control our lives. More significantly it is a terrible means of communication if there is any potential conflict involved. Email tends to escalate conflict and create misunderstandings. And we tend to be far more discourteous in emails than we would be in person.

Email communication is a bad idea in conflictual situations because it is easy to say things in a way we would not communicate in person and we cannot read the tone and body language of those we are talking to. Nor can we ask questions and seek clarification. Rather than solving a problem, email often creates greater problems. Don't use email as a substitute for a personal conversation by phone, Skype or in person when there is any possibility of misunderstanding.

I especially abhor the CC tab on emails that should go to the person we are dealing with rather than to the whole world. CC'ing others only broadens potential misunderstandings but is often a means of putting pressure on someone to respond the way we want them too since we have now raised the stakes by bringing others into the issue. 

The CC tab often violates the principle that we communicate with the individual with which we have a question or issue, rather than broadcasting it to a larger audience. My general rule is that if people are CC'd inappropriately I will only respond to the appropriate individual(s). 

Email's can be used to make assumptions about motives - which becomes a charge, rather than conversations where we are far more likely to ask questions of clarification. Because people often feel attacked in an inappropriate email they will often attack back which escalates rather than deescalates tension. 

Finally, don't hit the send button until you have read through one's email with this question: How will others likely read what I just wrote? Email's written in emotion usually express emotion that we don't really want to express - anger. Again, far better to ask some neutral questions for clarity than to fire off an angry email. You cannot take words back that have been released.

The book of James talks about the power of the tongue for good or for evil. It it was written today I suspect that the power of email communication would also be included. It can heal or wound. 

Insightful post by Eric Metaxas on same sex marriage and its impact on children

Wanting a Mom and a Dad

Children of Same-Sex Couples

Eric Metaxas http://contentz.mkt3980.com/mson/2013/06/03/cbC5o1Hs5wcc/index.html

As we earn more do we start to need more and actually give less?

There is an irony in the statistics of Christian giving. The more one has or makes, the smaller the percentage they often give. Those with lower incomes give a higher percentage of their wealth to Christ than those who have higher incomes.

It makes me wonder if the more we make the more we think we need and therefore protect our wealth. In other words, the thresh hold of need rises as our income rises along with a perceived need to protect that wealth. 

The result is that in general, those who have the most give a lesser percentage than those who have less. Is it possible that God's generosity to us often creates a greater dependency on material things because our attention becomes increasingly focused on wealth as security rather than on Jesus and a life of faith?

Becoming more conservative in our generosity to God as wealth increases is at odds with the Scriptural principle of being generous with God in proportion to how He has and does bless us. Consider 2 Corinthians 9:6-9. "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

The irony is that God's blessing - which He freely gives to us - can cause us to be less generous back to the One who gave us the blessing. It was the caution God gave the Israelites in Deuteronomy 7. The more we depend on our wealth for security the less we live by faith. 

I love Paul's words to Timothy in 1 Timothy 6:17-19. Command those who are rich in this present world...to do good, to be rich in good deeds and to be generous and willing to share."

 He does not say to give it all away. He simply encourages generosity and an open hand. God's generosity to us is a model of what our generosity to Him should be.

One last thing: Most of us don't consider ourselves as wealthy. We see wealth as relative to those who have more than us. But, if our combined family income is $100,000 or more annually we are in the top one half of one percent of wealthy globally. That helps put it in perspective for all of us. Fifty four percent of our world lives on $3.00 per day or less and 91% of our world lives on $10,000 per year or less. 

What in the world are you thinking?

That is a question many staff want to about their leaders. What is on their mind? What are they thinking? How are they evaluating the work of the organization? What is coming in the future? What ideas are percolating in their minds.

A large part of staff trust in their leaders (whether at the top or leaders of teams or divisions) has to do with knowing what their leader is thinking. It not only builds trust but it provides a great deal of stability on the staff because disclosure eliminates surprises and allows staff to move in the same direction as their leadership.

Leaders who don't practice appropriate disclosure can come off as aloof and unapproachable. Not a recipe for trust and collegial relationships. There is a deep desire for good staff to understand what is on the minds of their leaders and to be able to move forward with them toward the same goal.

If you are a leader, how disclosing are you with your staff? Obviously we are the most disclosing with our senior staff and appropriately disclosing with others. The members of the ReachGlobal cabinet - the senior team I lead know exactly what I am thinking at any point in time which has built significant trust and allows us to think corporately about the future.

The more private we keep what is in our minds the less powerful our leadership. The more disclosing we are, the more effective our leadership.

The dysfunction of control in ministry organizations

Control is the opposite of empowerment. Empowerment releases people within specified boundaries to use their gifts and abilities for maximum ministry impact with definable ministry outcomes. All too often, leaders or an organization's culture mitigate against empowerment and exercise stringent control over people and methodologies.

Control is not always overt but it has the same consequences as if it were. My own organization used to insist that there were only a few ways to do church planting around the world. People who were entrepreneurial and tried other methodologies were sometimes marginalized because they did not use the prescribed methods. The 'system' (beliefs and practices) was the controlling factor.

In local churches, many congregations have the sense that they must control their leaders, insisting that all decisions come back to them. Many leadership boards believe that they need to control the staff or they might do something unwise. Staff members often believe that they need to control volunteers to guard the quality of ministry and on it goes.

The worst form of control comes in the form of a church 'boss' who has the power to hold informal veto power over any key ministry decision, and/or an insecure leader who must micro-manage staff and activities out of his or her need to know everything, have a hand in everything and take the credit for everything.

Good leaders and good organizations and good teams empower people for ministry within appropriate boundaries and encourage them to play to their strengths in alignment with their gifts. Jesus empowered His disciples, and the leaders He left behind were told to empower and release others - the theme of Ephesians 4. Leaders determine whether their culture empowers its people or controls its people.

Healthy leaders and organizations empower while unhealthy leaders and organizations control. The first encourages people to use the best of their gifts and abilities while the second disempowers and discourages.

Do you have a cause worth giving your life to?

How passionate are you about the work God has called you to? Is it something that gets you up in the morning ready to tackle the day, knowing that it is worth giving your life to? That is one of the secrets of people of deep influence. They believe with all their heart that what they do matters, that it is of eternal consequence and that every day counts in the journey they are on.


I believe in the cause God has given our organization. “We are a gospel centered movement changing lives, communities and institutions worldwide in the power of God’s Spirit.” Even more significant for me, it aligns with God’s call on my life and my convictions so there is huge convergence between the organization I lead and His call on my life. Every day is a day to advance that cause!

The absence of a compelling cause in our personal and work lives is a debilitating condition that sucks away our energy, diminishes our joy and compromises our impact. And too many people suffer from the condition. It is sad in that God has created us specifically to accomplish something of great value for him and then gifted us for that specific influence (Ephesians 2:10). The route to deep influence is in understanding His calling and finding a cause congruent with that calling that gives us passion, conviction, joy and eternal impact.

These words may frustrate you because unlike me you do not lead the organization and those who do have not articulated a cause worth giving your life to. You are not alone but there is hope!

A cause worth giving our lives for starts with us. We are not dependent on others to determine God’s call on our lives. That is our responsibility! Once we know what that call is and how He has wired us, we live out that calling no matter where we are. This is particularly important for those who don’t yet have convergence between the strengths and passions God has implanted in them and their day to day work. We can live out His call vocationally or avocationally – the importance is that we are living it out. If it is truly His call and our passion we will find ways to answer that call no matter what we are doing vocationally!

Many people of deep influence live their lives in the secular workplace where they live out God’s call on their lives. They know that full time ministry is not the only way to impact our world and in fact, those who are in vocational ministry will often never touch the people and institutions they can touch. They are the Nehemiahs and Daniels and Esthers who have amazing influence because of their character and commitment to bring the ethics of the kingdom to the marketplace.

The fact is that entire organizations can be influenced and transformed when God’s people live out their cause in the marketplace. People are treated better, ethics are higher, excellence grows, and communities are made better because people of deep influence quietly live out their cause and God’s call on their lives.

If you are a part of a Christian organization, never underestimate your influence on the organization you are a part of in helping them come to clarity on their cause. Most leaders who don’t have a clearly defined cause would love to have one but need help getting there. Leadership can come from the bottom, the middle or the top if done wisely but persistently.

For years at the EFCA national office, I did not have a senior position but through my writing, relationships and the team I led I was able to have influence on the direction of our movement. In fact, position is not the key factor – influence is. Figure out how you can have influence and encourage missional clarity and a cause worth giving oneself to from whatever place you are in the organization.

There are times when it is worth looking for a different ministry organization to serve if you are convinced that they cannot come to clarity around a passionate cause, or that you will not find convergence between your strengths, wiring and call in the place you currently work. There are organizations that simply lack the will to live out a clear and passionate cause because it is far more comfortable to settle for what is rather than to press into what could and should be. I would not last very long in a comfortable organization and most people of deep influence will not.

The very fact that you are willing to look elsewhere may be a wake up call to your organization that not all is well. If it is not, it is confirmation that you made the right choice! The world has far too many sleepy and non missional congregations and ministries. Deep influence is rarely found there.

I am so passionate about the cause I am a part of that I have told my family that if anything ever happens to me in the pursuit of that cause that they should know that I left this earth a happy and fulfilled man. The cause of the gospel is worth that to me and the multiplication of Gospel centered churches that bring hope to the hopeless and transformation to communities is worth every bit of energy I expend and even my life. It is a cause that is God sized, eternity driven and worth the “prize” that Paul speaks of for all of us.

People of deep influence are driven by a cause greater than themselves and one that has eternal consequences. They are driven by the same passion that drove Jesus to take the hard road to Gethsemane. They never settle for a life of comfort over a life of influence and impact and if it comes to it, they are willing to pay the price for that which they are passionate about – whatever it may be. Do you have such a cause?

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Marginalization of the elders among us

One of the things that bothers me in the contemporary church is a tendency I see in some quarters to marginalize the generations that are older than us. 

America is a youth culture - it celebrates youth and many congregations have bought into that youth culture at the expense of our older generations who paved the way for us and who often pay the bills for us still today. Besides, what ever happened to all people matter to God? Since when do we not need the white hair generation to pass on some wisdom and experience to the youth of today? 

Now you may be thinking that I am just one of those cranky older folks since I am eligible for AARP (but not a member) at 57. I don't feel marginalized - yet, but I know many who do and I often wonder how those who do it (some pastors) will feel when they reach retirement. What I do know is that I no longer fit the targeted market of many churches. I am just glad Jesus does not have a target market as I might not fit it. Churches often seem to though.

All of God's people have a legacy to fill for as long as they are alive. The moment we marginalize them, pigeon hole them or treat them with a lack of respect and dignity we have lost our way. It is what the Pharisees did with various segments of the population. It is not what Jesus did. 

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Leadership and power

As a student of people, a leader, a leadership coach and an avid reader of biographies (including those in Scripture) I often think about the relationship of power and leading. I am convinced that power leaves no individual unscathed unless it is deliberately and continually managed and tempered because leadership includes the exercise of influence and power by its very nature.

We have all heard the adage that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Most leaders would not want to think that the adage pertains to them. Certainly leaders I know are generally not corrupt. But, the ability of power to change us can be subtle and insidious. And dangerous.

Consider: because leaders are in a position of power over others it is possible for them to live with greater autonomy and lesser accountability than others. After all, it is a difficult thing to challenge someone who has your livelihood in their hands. The very nature of the relationship makes it so. I know many staff who wish they could say some things to their leader but do not feel the freedom to do so. Perhaps it is true for some of my own staff. Those who have authority over others have much more freedom to speak into the lives of those they lead than the other way around.

That sense of power and freedom can lead unhealthy places: no longer listening to others as we should; carelessness in how we treat others; skirting ethical edges knowing that we will not be called on it; hubris; believing our own press (usually not very objective); thinking ourselves better than we really are (most leaders do); isolation; lack of transparency and even honesty and the list could go on. Any student of leadership, leaders and history knows the story. And it is not pretty.

I am convinced that the greater our leadership platform the greater our need for deep introspection of our lives, an understanding of our fallenness, temptations, and predilections and the depth of relationships with others that can help keep us honest: really honest. Because power all too often leads to dishonesty - the ability we have to fool ourselves regarding our motivations and our actions.

Deeply introspective leaders are more aware and conscious of who they are, what drives them, what their shadow side is and how they need to manage that shadow side than leaders who hide behind the addiction of activity. Driven leaders are often running from themselves, while introspective leaders are driven to understand themselves and live in a place of health! Much of that introspection needs to be around how we manage living with influence and power while living in personal health and wholeness.

Here are some introspective questions leaders can ask of themselves:

• Are there any areas of my leadership life where I am skirting the ethical edge because I can?
• Have I lost the ability to be honest with myself about what drives and motivates me?
• Do I hold others to a standard that is different than the standard  I hold myself to?
• Do I give my staff complete freedom to approach me on any issue regarding my leadership? Do I foster an open and candid atmosphere where staff feel free to challenge me and to ask hard questions? Am I willing to give my staff the ability to give me feedback on my leadership?
• Is there any area where I am using my power or influence for personal gain rather than for missional effectiveness?
• Do my ends ever justify my means when it comes to accomplishing the mission?
• Have I allowed leadership to develop a "pride of place" in my life that has crowded out personal humility?
• Do I have a set of core leadership values or guiding principles that I can articulate for myself and hold myself accountable to?
• What safeguards have I built into my life to keep power from changing me?

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Focused Leadership

One of the great sins of leadership today - across the board - is a lack of focus on what is most important with the resulting diffusion of energy, resources and results.

There is a natural human tendency away from focused living which requires more work, greater discipline and better thinking. As Jim Collins says, good is the enemy of great. Great requires focus. Good requires less.

My observation is that team members take their cues regarding focus from their leader. The less focused the leader, the less focused others in the organization. The more focused the leader, the more disciplined and focused those who work on their team. This puts even more responsibility on ministry leaders to model intentional, disciplined and focused lives.

The central practice of focused life and work is one we we often do not like: Discipline. Focus requires discipline and discipline implies bringing our priorities, time, energy and choices into line with what we have been tasked to do.

Lack of focus is really about laziness - the opposite of discipline. We don't like that word either but it describes the root cause of a lack of focus. One can do good work and be relatively lazy. One cannot do great work without discipline.

There are two areas where those who lead need to be constantly vigilant about their focus.

The first is missional focus. It is very easy to forget that our ministry must always be about fulfilling our mission. Mission drift is where we unconsciously drift away from the mission of the organization and it happens all the time.

Focused leaders think about mission every single day and they constantly remind their team that everything they do is both about their mission and must contribute to the mission. The less a leader thinks and talks mission, the less their team will live it.

It is very easy for leaders to move from missional to organizational. To focus on organizational issues instead of missional issues. Why? It is easier. It requires less work and less thinking. Focused leaders do not allow their missional focus to slip into organizational focus.

The second discipline is that of focused choices. The most precious commodity we have is our time - we can never get it back. The choices we make with how we spend our time reveal the level of discipline of our lives.

Truly focused leaders make choices about their activities based on whether that activity is critical in achieving their mission and they often say no to the nice in order to spend time on the critical.

The choices and activities of many leaders are not consistent with a missional focus. They do a lot of stuff, but it is often not the stuff that is most critical to lead them or their team to missional effectiveness. Again it is easy to default to organizational activity rather than the activity that will lead to mission fulfillment.

Focused leaders are always evaluating their choices and activities against the mission of the organization and exercise great personal discipline to focus on what is truly important in the fulfillment of mission.

How focused are you on the mission?

How disciplined are you in your choices and activity?

Are these two in alignment?

Barriers to good and timely decision making

It is the same in ministry or business. There are a a predictable number of barriers that staff can face in making even routine decisions that disempower them, and make it difficult to make timely and good decisions. Wise leaders do all that they can to remove these barriers for the sake of their staff and the organization as a whole.

1. Not having the organizational clarity needed to know on what basis I can make a decision. Because organizational clarity defines who we are, where we are going and the non-negotiables, it gives me a framework with which to make good decisions. In its absence I can only guess.

2. Not having clear boundaries from my leader as to what I can decide and what needs upward clearance. This is a leadership issue but when there is not clarity on "decision making authority" staff must by definition either ask permission or forgiveness.

3. A culture of blame when something goes wrong. In such cultures, staff members are reluctant to make decisions for fear that if it goes wrong, they will take the heat. So the ubiquitous CYA attitude that pervades many organizations to their detriment.

4. A culture of control that insists that all decisions are cleared by the senior leader or his/her designate. Control comes from a lack of trust in those who work for you to make their own good decisions. It becomes a huge bottleneck to forward progress and disempowers good staff. This will always plateau an organization because it is not a scaleable process.

5. Bureaucracy that requires decisions to be made multiple times at multiple levels. It is the difference between General Motors and Toyota in terms of how they operated over the years. Bureaucracy is a means of trying to control in the absence of clarity by getting multiple parties and levels involved even in routine decision making.

This is all about what it means to empower others. They will often do things differently than we would but if it gets us to the same destination, what is the difference. The greater clarity your organization has the easier it is for good staff to make decisions based on that common clarity. And to avoid decisions that would violate the culture and ethos of the organization. 

Removing barriers to good and timely decisions is a critical factor in a growing organization. If you want to know that barriers there actually are, just ask your staff. We might learn something.

Paying greater attention to gifting when it comes to those we put into church leadership

We ought to pay closer attention to the difference between leadership and caring gifts. For instance, many congregations have a group tasked primarily with leadership issues (usually the senior board or council of a church). Another board, committee or group meets individual needs of members in times of illness, difficulty or crisis.

The primary gifts needed to fulfill the leadership function are fundamentally different from those needed to fulfill a caring function. People in crisis need caregivers who are high on mercy, understanding and patience. What they don't need (or want) are type A leaders who want to give them the five steps out of their crisis in the next 48 hours, if they would only get their act together!

Those with strong leadership gifts are often not great at "feeling your pain." When enmeshed in caring ministries, many leadership-gifted individuals want to get on with the stuff of vision, strategy and decision-making.

At the same time, many decisions that leaders make are going to cause someone or some group in the church to be unhappy. High mercy individuals often find conflict difficult, and leadership has its share of conflict (good and bad kinds). I have encountered high mercy types in senior leadership roles who feel totally out of their comfort zone. They serve because they were asked, but it is a painful and frustrating experience for them.

Perhaps one of the reasons so many churches in the United States are at a plateau or in decline is that we have not asked enough leaders to lead and have paid little attention to where we deploy individuals in relation to their God-given gift set. My experience is that nominating committees (or whoever are the gatekeepers for those asked to serve) receive little or no training in the whole process of giftedness. Yet they are the recruiters of people into key ministry roles.

In the marketplace, huge energy and money is expended to get the right people into the right spot based on abilities and wiring. In the church, far too little attention is paid to this, even though the New Testament clearly articulates the principle.

Strong leadership boards are made up of individuals who have leadership or administrative gifts within their gift set, are comfortable in their leadership role, are people of proven influence, and are willing to carry out all the New Testament-given functions of senior church leaders.

Thanking those who mentored and influenced you

None of us became who we without the influence of some significant individuals in our lives. All of us stand on the shoulders of others whether parents, mentors, influencers, spouses and friends. Each of them was a gift to us and should be considered precious to us because God used them in our lives to make us better than we would have been without them.

Have you ever thanked those who helped mold you? Each of them gave us a great gift. I can look to parents, close friends, colleagues, a key seminary professor, Christian leaders who engaged with me when I was young, even those I know from afar through their writing but who had a profound influence. None of us are "self made." We bear the lessons, influence and maturity of others whose  faith and life have rubbed off on us. We are all better because of it.

In our fast paced and self centered world, don't forget to thank those who helped shape you. It is easy to take them for granted but also sad. They were faithful in some way that made us who we are. Lets thank God for them and lets thank them. When we get to heaven we will realize how much others helped shape us. All of us stand on the shoulders of others. A grateful heart recognizes their influence and takes the time to thank them. I for one am very thankful for those who invested in me.

The high wire of faith

Contributing Writer

Mary Ann Addington

When our son Steven was in 5th grade I was asked to be a parent volunteer on a 3 day class trip to Wolfridge Environmental Learning Center in northeast Minnesota. One of the activities was a high ropes course. Starting from a walk across a balance beam sort of structure, the course builds up to a thirty foot high Burma Bridge and ends in a zip line back to the ground.

The Burma Bridge was the most intimidating because one walks across on a single cable. Even being hooked into a cable above your head and cables at your side, you still have to step out onto the single line. After I coaxed and encouraged about ten 5th graders to go over the Burma Bridge, one youngster turned to me and said, “Mrs. Addington! Now it is your turn!”

This was not what I had signed up for, but I could hardly chicken out after telling all the kids that they could do it. As I was on the platform trying to figure out if there was any way out of stepping onto the cable, my fan club stood below. “Mrs. Addington, we know you can do it!” “Come on, Mrs. Addington, you helped us do it!”

With trepidation I take my first step out the cable holds and the line above is still hooked in. About half way across I even breathed enough to notice that above the trees I could see Lake Superior off in the distance. And to the delight of my fan club below I actually made it across the cable and back to terra firma.

Living by faith when life comes undone is much like walking the Bermuda Bridge. The cable is hard to walk, it is a long way down, and every step forward requires balance and the faith that the cable will hold and that the safety ropes can be trusted.

The first steps are the hardest but there comes a place where we actually start to breathe again. While we would never willingly sign up for it, we learn that we can take the step of faith, put our weight on the line and that the cable will hold the safety ropes hold.

Living on the wire of faith means sticking to the confidence that God is in control and can be trusted even when all evidence is to the contrary. During T.J.’s initial illness, I would be irritated with people who would say over and over how hard this must have been on his dad because he was a doctor and understood how sick Tim was.

I would think, “This is true, but give me some credit!” I am an RN with ER and ICU experience and had done of lot of research on MRSA and ARDS. I knew that this was really, really bad. There were numbers on his monitor that were worse than I had ever seen- except on someone who was dying. I could tell by the body language of the nursing and medical staff that they thought I was in lala land when I spoke of discharge planning.

Every night I would go to sleep at night listening to Lincoln Brewster’s “Another Hallelujah” and had to tell God that this would be my response to whatever happened the next day. Every day was like taking another step of faith on the high ropes, choosing to trust God.

I had to train myself to move from fear to trust countless times during the long ICU ordeal. “Fear not” is the most repeated command in all of Scripture because it is so easy to live in fear rather than in faith. It is a choice we make and it is really about whether we focus on our undoneness or on God.

My worst day in T.J.’s first ordeal in the ICU was when I received a call from his sister telling me to get to his room right away because his stats were terrible. I rushed back to the hospital from a nearby restaurant to find T.J.’s heart beating at 240 beats per minute. This was on top of his massive pneumonia, ARDS, septic shock and a failed mitral valve in his heart. His heart was desperately trying to compensate for the mitral valve failure and get oxygen to his organs.

The nurses hustled me out of the room so they could try and shock his heart back into rhythm. I went to a nearby room where I could see what was happening overwhelmed with fear. This was the worst it could be. Humanly speaking, T.J.’s heart would just give up. They could not do surgery to mend the mitral valve because he would not survive the surgery. It was God’s intervention or death. And that intervention had to be quick.

Sitting in that alcove watching the medical personnel around T.J.’s bed I wrestled with fear and faith in a way I had never done before. God had told me that it would be close but he would make it. Could I really believe that in the face of what I was watching? Was that rational? Could God really be trusted? Had I heard him right? This was one of the cases when the medical personnel would not even make eye contact with me because they knew the inevitable outcome. Indescribably fear gripped my whole body. I felt like I was about to go into a free fall from the high wire and there were no safety lines attached.

I chose faith over fear as hard as that was watching what I was watching. The staff were not able to shock T.J.’s heart back into rhythm and we knew that unless the mitral valve was healed there was no way he would survive. We put an urgent call for a day of prayer and fasting specifically asking for a miracle to heal the mitral valve. Across the globe those watching the blog (over 10,000 individual users) stormed the gates of heaven boldly asking for an outright miracle. Within that twenty four hour period it started to slowly heal! He was not out of the woods by any means but God was true to the words He had given me.

To this day, when T.J. visits his cardiologist he shakes his head and says, “How did you dodge that bullet?” They were certain that he would need surgery to repair the valve when he was well enough to have it – if he survived. On his most recent visit, the cardiologist told T.J. he did not need to come back.

One of the hard things is that God does not always do what we wish He would do. His ways are sovereign and we will not always understand His plans or purposes for our lives. But we always have the choice of focusing on Him or focusing on our circumstances. Our circumstances are unpredictable but His is always faithful. It is the choice we make between fear and faith when life comes undone.

God loves it when we choose to trust him! And it is as much as a choice as when we put our full weight on the cable and begin that hard walk. Trusting does not mean that we know how everything will turn out, but that we live in the confidence that God loves us like we love our kids and that He is in control. Trusting God brings peace, even when that does not seem logical.

Isaiah 26:3 has been up on my bathroom mirror since December of 2007:
You will keep in perfect peace

him whose mind is steadfast,

because he trusts in you.

It is not about me! It is about keeping my mind and emotions focused on who God is. It is not about whether I have done all the right things, or even that I am trusting the right way. It is about keeping our minds steadfast on who God said He is and what He has promised to do which includes peace when all evidence says that cannot happen. Life on the high ropes is not about us- it is all about God, His grace, and our simple trust in Him. It’s putting our weight on the wire one step at a time.

Older leaders and their attitudes toward younger leaders

Recently I asked a successful pastor in his fifties who pastors a large church in the Midwest what leadership lessons he had learned recently. His answer was interesting and I think relevant in many situations. He said, "I am learning the need to allow younger leaders to lead, to not get in their way, and to give them the freedom to do things the way they want to do them."

I believe his answer applies to churches, missions and other ministries. It is often difficult for leaders in their latter years to release leaders in their young years because younger leaders will often approach ministry and strategy differently than those of us in our fifties (me included).

He made an interesting observation: "It is easy to try to control these young leaders but it is counterproductive." I agree. When we bring young leaders onto our teams we must release them as we release all others to use their gifts in line with their wiring to accomplish what we have asked them to accomplish. They will challenge our methodology and paradigms and they will help us become all that we can be.

Key to releasing others is a secure leader who is not threatened by other good people who may well have ideas that are better than theirs. That takes a very non defensive attitude and humility. But again, it is not about us but about God and the building of his kingdom.

If you are a leader in your fifties and sixties and have younger leaders on your staff you may want to have a candid dialogue with your younger leaders and find out how free they feel, how empowered they feel. Often we don't realize that we are not truly releasing others fully. The more we do, the stronger our ministries will be - and the better leaders we are.

A vision, a plan and a leader

Want to get something done? Three things are needed every time! A vision (what do we want to accomplish?), a plan (how are we going to do it?) and a leader (who will lead the way?). It is pretty simple but all too often good intentions fall prey to the lack of one of these three.

Think of the local church where there is no end of ministry dreams and possibilities. Three simple questions need to be asked. What is the vision of this ministry and how does it fit with the vision of the church? The desire to do something is not a vision. Vision has to do with what we want to accomplish and why.

What is your plan is question two. Vision is not a substitute for a workable, reasonable, plan for how the vision is going to be carried out. The world has many "visionaries" who have no plan and generally they don't produce much.

Who is going to lead the way? No endeavor works without a leader who will take the responsibility to ensure that what needs to happen happens and will give coordination and encouragement to the group.

It is simple but then again most effective strategies are.

Dealing with people who just don't get it

Too often in Christian circles when faced with problematic behaviors we are far less candid and defining than we need to be in trying to address them. In our desire to be "nice" and exhibit "grace" we understate the issues hoping that the staff member will "get it" and respond. Usually it does not work and in fact backfires when the behaviors continue unabated. 

Ironically it is precisely because they don't "get it" in the first place that we are having the conversation.

In addition, our "nice" approach is not fair to the one we are trying to get through to as they are not experts in subtlety. The only thing that will get their attention if one wants to help them is candid, unadulterated truth and honest feedback delivered in a way that leaves no room for interpretation. It is not about being unkind. It is about being exceedingly defining.

What do we need to be defining on?

First we need to be defining on what the problematic behaviors are with examples so that the staff member understands precisely what behaviors we are talking about. While they may not agree that the behaviors are problematic they must be clear on our assessment of them.

Second, we must be defining on how the behaviors impact others or the team negatively. 

Third, we must be defining on what we expect in the future. If we leave any doubt as to our expectations it is highly likely that there will be little if any change. After all, why go to the trouble of modifying my behavior if there is not a clear and defined expectation?

Fourth, we need to be defining as to what the consequences may be if there is not significant progress on problematic behaviors. This means that there is a clear follow up plan and that the individual knows from the start that the conversation is not over.

People who don't get it need help in getting it. As we say in Minnesota, "Minnesota nice" does not work in these situations. Directness is imperative when dealing with those who don't get subtlety. 

Unselfish Kingdom driven leadership

As I watch fellow leaders - at whatever level they lead - I am struck that there are essentially two kinds of ministry leaders: Those who are consumed by their own success and those who unselfishly give themselves away to help others be successful. I call the latter, unselfish leadership.

Unselfish or generous leaders care about helping others around them be successful. They invest time in others, mentor and befriend other leaders, pray for them, spend time with them and build genuine friendships. Contrast that with leaders how don't have time for others because they are so consumed by their own concerns.

I have watched this with both ministry and workplace leaders. I remember a lunch I had once with the leader of a significant ministry that serves other ministries. In a two hour lunch, there were no questions asked about what I did or the ministry I represented. It was all about him! I left that lunch knowing that this was a selfish and self consumed leader. Fortunately I am surrounded by both marketplace and ministry leaders who represent generous and unselfish leadership.

We live in a day of significant ministry competition - something we don't like to admit. But here is the truth: only selfish, self consumed leaders compete - at least in the ministry world. Generous and unselfish ministry leaders are not competing. Instead they will do all that they can to help others succeed.

I am committed to giving myself away to others in any way that I can. It is the antidote to selfish living and competition. It is the way of Christ. It is also the route to spiritual influence. After all, wise leaders know that the ultimate goal is not building a personal kingdom but having the greatest spiritual influence that it is possible to have. Life is not about us! It is about God.

What motivates your ministry?

For those of us who are in ministry, paid or volunteer, full time or part time, the question of our motivation is central to how we will carry our ministry out. Here is the question: Is our ministry about us or about God and the gospel?

Now, that may seem like a funny question to ask anyone who is giving their time and energy in ministry. But actually it is not. Paul makes the point that there are people who minister out of selfish motives. It was true then and it is true now.

Those motives may be prestige, having a large church, being the best, pulling down a decent salary, being a leader, looking for respect, or any number of personal issues that drive us. I am convinced that there are an inordinate number of people in ministry who have deep personal needs and seek to fill those needs through ministry. Ministries either breed narcissism or attract it, I am not sure which but there are a lot of folks in ministry who have a need to "be someone."

This can be true of laypeople or full time workers. When motivations are not pure, when we are trying to fill personal needs through ministry we often end up hurting people and the ministry we serve. If it is about me, we have a problem.

I love meeting pastors in the majority (poor world) because they have little or nothing to gain by being in ministry. Unlike those in the minority (wealthy) world, they cannot pull down a decent salary, they are marginalized in society and often pay a heavy price personally for what they do. They are motivated solely by the desire to please God and share the gospel.

True motivation for ministry is that of humbly serving our God, and being passionate about the sharing of the gospel - period. If that is my motivation:

• I won't care who gets the credit


• I won't need the limelight


• I will be willing to give ministry away


• I will serve rather than want to be served


• I will partner with others


• I will empower others


• I will equip others


• I won't be enamored by the indicators of success that others are enamored by


• I won't need to get my own way


• I will lift others 
  

Our motivation affects our actions. Take a moment and reflect on your motivations in ministry today. Is it about you or is it about God and the gospel? Really!

Are you an individual producer or organizational leader?

For those who lead organizations, whether churches or other ministries there is a crucial piece of information that is needed when hiring or placing individuals in ministry spots. That is understanding the distinction between an organizational leader - one who leads others - and an individual producer.

Organizational leaders are people who are wired to lead through other people. They are gifted in mobilizing healthy teams of people to tackle ministry opportunities. They work through the team, lead through the team and accomplish the ministry responsibilities they have through team. They love to mobilize, empower and develop other individuals.

Individual producers on the other hand are wired to have ministry impact through their own ministry initiatives. They need hands on ministry impact, like to develop things themselves, minister themselves, and do ministry themselves rather than leading through other people.

Why is an understanding of this distinction important? If you put an individual producer in the leadership of a team they will not develop their team or lead through their team but because of their wiring will revert to doing things themselves. This will result in weak team because the team is not the focus of an individual producers attention - personal ministry is. Team is secondary to an individual producer. Their attention is on what they can personally do.

This distinction is all about wiring - not about capacity or brightness. There are many exceedingly bright individual producers. They are simply not wired to lead others and putting them in that position produces frustration for them and often for those they lead. This is often a challenge for pastors, many of whom are really individual producers by wiring but find themselves needing to lead a team as the ministry grows.

People are either wired as individual producers or organizational leaders. The key is understanding the wiring of good people so that those who are wired for hands on ministry are not taken out of their wiring to lead through others. On the other hand, organizational leaders love to lead through others and will make their team the focus of their efforts.

Think about yourself - which are you really wired for? Think about your supervisor - which are they wired for?

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Ten indicators of unhealthy teams

Unhealthy teams cause a high degree of frustration for team members. The following indicators - if true of the staff or team you serve on would indicate that you serve on an unhealthy team:

There is low trust among members
Low trust is usually generated by an unhealthy leader who does not create a culture of trust and transparency within the team. Mistrust of one another, questioning of motives, or a culture of fear (fear of doing something wrong or crossing one's leader) are symptoms of low trust.

You don't really like to be with team members
This is a logical outcome of a culture of mistrust. Closed doors, secretive meetings, lack of cooperation and are indicative of a culture of mistrust and in this ethos, staff members do not bond.

There is weak missional leadership
There is not a strong missional emphasis by the team leader and therefore the missional glue that holds the team together and motivates its efforts is absent.

Candid and transparent dialogue is discouraged
Unhealthy teams know that certain topics are off limits and that transparency will get them into trouble. Team members keep their real opinions to themselves rather than run the risk of getting into trouble by being truly honest.

There is ambiguity regarding roles
There is not a clear delineation of what individuals are responsible for. Rather, than clarity, supervisors simply tell their reports what to do and that agenda may change on the whim of the supervisor. Staff is never entirely clear about what their responsibility is.

Team member are not empowered to use their ideas, creativity and gifts in accomplishing their jobs
Rather, their supervisor wants them to do their job as he/she would do it. Supervisors regularly step in and change what has been done, are critical work or micromanage their team members.

There is not a mentor/coach paradigm of supervision
Rather than serving as a mentor/coach whose objective is to bring out the very best in their team members, supervisors tell staff what they need to do, do not regularly meet with staff to help them grow and tend to be critical rather than a cheerleader.

Your leader lacks self confidence and self assurance
Threatened leaders make for a workplace of fear and intimidation because their lack of confidence and assurance often causes them to be hard on those around them rather than release those around them.

There is a low degree of collaboration
Team members "keep their heads down" and do their own thing rather than enthusiastically working with one another and guarding one another's back.

There is a culture that discourages innovation
Especially if the innovation is not the idea of the leader, who needs to drive each part of the ministry. Staff members are not released to dream, innovate and try new things.

If your team has five or more of these characteristics, you serve on an unhealthy team.

Team resources include The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Patrick Lencioni and Leading from the Sandbox: Develop, Empower and Release High Impact Ministry Team, T.J. Addington

Ten indicators of a healthy team

How healthy is the team or staff that you serve on? You know you serve on a healthy staff when...

There is a high degree of trust among staff members

Healthy teams are trusting teams. They trust their leaders and they trust one another. The high degree of trust eliminates the need for hidden agendas, lack of transparency or the need to question motives.

You love to be with your colleagues

Healthy teams enjoy working together. They may not be "best friends" outside of work but they enjoy working and collaborating together

There is strong missional leadership

One of the marks of a healthy team is that they are passionately committed to achieving a clear, motivating, meaningful mission. It is the mission which provides the glue that holds them together

Robust dialogue is encouraged and practiced

On healthy teams people have full freedom to speak their minds without hidden agendas or attacking others. There is no fear in being candid and honest even when ones opinion may not be the mainstream view.

There is clarity of responsibility

Healthy teams practice clarity of responsibility so that each member knows what they are responsible for.

There is empowerment to accomplish your job as you see fit

Healthy teams have empowered cultures where good individuals are empowered to accomplish their job in line with their particular gifting and without the micromanagement of supervisors.

Your supervisor is both a mentor and a coach

Healthy teams have leaders who both mentor and coach their team members rather than simply telling them what to do . There is a monthly mentor/coach meeting with supervisors.

Your leader is self assured and non-threatened

Healthy teams have healthy leaders who are are secure in themselves and not threatened by other strong leaders.

There is a high degree of collaboration between members

Healthy teams are those who work interdependently rather than independently. Each member is both aware of and supportive of the work and responsibilities of other team members. The end goal is always that of accomplishing the mission of the organization.

There is a culture of innovation

If you always do what you always did you always get what you always got. Healthy teams encourage innovative ideas, practices and new ways of accomplishing ministry in order to stay on the front edge of effectiveness.

How many of these indicators are true of the team you serve on?

When churches come undone and need to heal

I have been called into many hurting church situations over the past several decades and counseled many others from a distance, often once a week including several days ago. What I have learned  over the past years is that when a church comes apart it takes more time to heal than people realize.

We often underestimate the healing process. We think that if we address the presenting issues (which do need to be addressed) that we will be OK and we can then move on. The truth is, however, that all healing takes time, usually more time than we want or expect. I am still healing from a severe illness some five years ago. Congregations that have been severely traumatized also take years to heal.

I have three suggestions for churches that have come undone and are in need of healing.

First, healing may well be the main work of the church for a season. While I didn't like it, coming out of hospital five years ago my main job for a season was therapy. The same is true for a wounded church. Relationships have been impacted, divisions have been caused, trust has been breached, sides have been picked. While many will simply want to move on what is really needed is a time of guided healing from someone who can help address the critical issues. Healing and health are not side issues but the central issue when a church as come undone.

Second, trust must be re-established. Congregations are like families and when trust has been broken there is nothing more important than to re-establish trust where that is possible and relationships where they have been broken. This not only takes time but it usually takes the facilitation of an outside neutral third party who can help parties hear and understand one another and hopefully reconcile. While many want to skip this hard step, underlying hostilities will dog the church for years if not resolved in a biblical manner.

Third, there are usually underlying issues that need to be addressed that either contributed to the church's trauma or might have prevented it in the first place.  While we cannot foresee future events we can learn from past events. It is not uncommon that in retrospect we see things that we should have noticed or paid attention to. Whatever they are we want to learn from the experience and put appropriate safeguards in place that would help us see and deal with dishealth in the future.

All of this is best facilitated by an outside facilitator or intentional interim pastor who has the skills to understand the dynamics involved and guide the congregation toward health. When this does not happen the congregation either repeats the dysfunction down the road or suffers additional pain from unresolved issues from the trauma it experienced but did not properly address.

Learning to discern the difference between what is negotiable and what is not and how it impacts your leadership

Too many leaders, especially when they are young have not learned that negotiation is a key to their leadership. Negotiation is the art of taking into account the various perspectives and concerns of a number of parties and coming up with a solution that can be supported by all.

Needing to have our way and not being open to other perspectives or willing to compromise with others is a sign of pride, stubbornness and often gets black and white leaders into trouble. People rightly start to perceive them as unreasonable and hard to work with.

This does not mean we cannot have strong opinions. It is a mark of a leader but why is my strong opinion superior to another's strong opinion? Because it is mine? Because I need to be right? Because my ego and person hood is so wrapped up in getting my way? When one looks at it that way it looks, well, arrogant and ugly!

Healthy leaders state their positions but also invite robust dialogue on issues, believing that better answers come from a number of competent people grappling with an issue than just them. They also have an attitude that it is about the mission, not about them and so don't take it personally when they don't get all that they want. 

All of life is a negotiation at some level. My marriage is. My leadership is. Even the relationship with my kids was. Sure there are  convictions that we won't compromise on but all too often what we won't compromise on is not conviction but preference. The best leaders invite opposing views and bring their group to a healthy consensus. They know how to negotiate and compromise.

When leaders create conflict

Leaders of organizations, churches and teams often have a role in creating conflict that is unhealthy. Much conflict could be avoided if leaders could avoid these mistakes.

Ambiguity
Leaders who are unclear as to who the organization is and where it is going and how it will fulfill its mission create conflict through their lack of clarity. When mission, guiding principles, ministry focus and culture are not clear, there is ample room for misunderstanding, unmet expectations and therefore, conflict over direction or philosophy. Healthy leaders are very clear on the critical elements and do not leave the door open for ambiguity which will naturally lead to conflict.

Disempowering actions
Leaders who seem to promise empowerment but in reality disempower their staff through micromanagement, lack of clarity or not delegating appropriate authority and responsibility create conflict by their actions. Empowerment is only possible where there is great clarity over mission, values, focus and culture. But it also requires the delegation of authority. Where clarity, delegation and authority are not matched, there is a recipe for conflict.

Dividing the team or teams
When leaders vilify or put down one member of the team over against another they automatically set the stage for conflict on the team. When a leader plays one group against another (for instance staff against the board or their team against a senior team) conflict is set up by the leader. (See the two posts on Leadership Default). Leaders who do this, and many do, set their organization up for conflict.

More concerned with their image than missional effectiveness
Leader who care more about being popular than missional will often create conflict because they are not able to be defining with their team (those they lead) because they are more interested in being liked by their team and therefore play to the team's desires rather than to the mission of the organization. Or, leaders may think it is about them, more than it is about the mission and take credit for success that ought to go to the team. Wise leaders understand that it is not about them but about the mission of the organization.

Telling the team what to do rather than engaging their team in the process
Some leaders, under the guise of 'leadership,' prefer to make pronouncements to their team about what they need to do rather than engage the team in meaningful process and dialogue to get to a mutually agreed upon strategy. While team member may 'agree' verbally, they do not necessarily agree 'with the heart' and feel bullied into a position that is not one they buy into. Again, this is a tactic that may work for a while but in the long run produces unhealthy relationships and lack of trust.

Good leaders can prevent most conflict by being clear on the big rocks of the organization, appropriately empowering their leaders or team, never creating division within the team or between teams, making the mission the focus, not themselves, and engaging their team in dialogue and process toward a mutually satisfying solution.

Who did you thank or express appreciation to today?

"Thank you." "I appreciate that." "You did a marvelous job on that." These and other words like it are powerful and encouraging  and say that we notice, that we are thankful for the contribution of others and that we care about them. It is stopping long enough to think about others rather than simply ourselves.

Those who thank God often and others around them live with a whole different outlook on life than those who do not. It is the attitude Jesus commends, after all, how can we not live in thanksgiving with all He has done for us. The more we live with appreciation and thanksgiving the more we see life through a positive lens. 

The more we thank others the more we recognize the value of those around us. It changes our attitude toward them and allows us to develop an attitude of graciousness toward others. In a bottom line world it makes a great difference in our lives and in the lives of others.

What are you thankful for today that you need to express to your Father. Who do you need to express your appreciation to today. Everyone needs the encouragement and we need the outlook on life that it brings to us.

Ten self management principles that will impact your leadership

Healthy leaders have learned the art of self-management knowing that who they are, how they act and react, and the model they set directly impacts those who work under their leadership. Let me suggest that there are eleven critical self management principles that all leaders should pay attention to.

Our Attitudes
Leaders do not have the luxury of being careless with their attitudes - toward people, situations, or life. One of the jobs of a leader is to inspire others toward healthy action, encourage the staff and be able to maintain a positive outlook on life, even when life is not cooperating. Their attitudes impact everyone around them.

Our Emotions
All of us have emotions. Leaders learn to manage their emotions so that their emotions do not cause them trouble. Think of how angry eruptions and words spoken in the heat of emotion cause harm to people. Leaders who cannot control their emotions cause uncertainty for the staff they lead. It has been the downfall of many otherwise bright leaders.

Our Empathy
Without empathy, leaders are not seen as caring individuals but as cold and lacking concern. Some people have a lot of natural empathy. When that is not the case, leaders must cultivate the practice of empathy. Empathy is a key in healthy relationships and relationships are a key to leadership.

Our Self Awareness
Self awareness is the ability to discern how we are perceived by others and how our actions, attitudes and words impact others. Lack of self-awareness causes great misunderstanding and assumptions by others that we don't care. When a leader is not naturally self aware they need coaching and feedback from others if they are going to lead successfully.

Our Focus
Focused leaders developed focused staff while the opposite is also true. Good leaders choose to hold themselves to a high standard of discipline in their work including eliminating those things they should not do and focusing on the most strategic.

Our Empowerment
It is easy to control. It is harder to properly empower but that is the key to a healthy team and healthy leaders are rigorous in empowering others within boundaries to accomplish their work.

Our Boundaries
Boundaries are the things we do not allow in our behavior and in the behavior of others because it is hurtful to the culture we want to create. In effect, leaders set the boundaries for what is out of bounds within the organization or team.

Our Example
We lead most powerfully be example. When our stated commitments and example are not in alignment the result is cynicism. When they are in alignment, staff know that we are serious. Examples speak louder than words.


Our Humility
Everyone thinks they are humble but that is the insidious nature of pride. Humility comes when we know our strengths, are acutely and equally aware of our shadow side and our need for others. Humility is cultivated through time with God and a great deal of introspection.

Our Service
Few things speak louder than our commitment to serve those we lead and help them be all they can be. For leaders, life is not about us but about others and the mission that binds us together. The more we serve, the better leaders we become.

Each of these ten areas of a leaders life must be practiced with intentionality for successful, healthy leadership.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.