Dealing with distractions in our spiritual lives

 

Jesus was a master storyteller. His stories, or parables, were intriguing, sometimes shocking, but always very personal in their application. They speak directly to our lives. One story that describes each of us in some way is the Parable of the Sower found in Luke 8:4-15. Pay close attention to this parable because you are there.

While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up. Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seeds fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still, other seeds fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.” When he said this, he called out, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

His disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that, “‘though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand.’

“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way, they are choked by life’s worries, riches, and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering, produce a crop.

Since we know Jesus and want to follow Him, I will focus on two kinds of soil that apply to us. The first is the seed sown among the thorns. These are people who hear, but life’s worries, riches, and pleasures choke them as they go on their way, so they do not mature.

All of us fall into this trap at times in our lives. Perhaps we live most of our life here, or maybe it is a particular season/s of our life. We want Jesus, and we want to grow. Still, we are distracted, majorly distracted by the worries and anxieties of life, by the pursuit of wealth and stuff, and by our desire to experience the good life (our pleasures). Here is the individual who is so busy in their work, busy with life, and so consumed by activities that God gets marginalized, and space for God becomes scarce. Too often, we run on fumes in our busyness and what gets lost is space for God in our lives.

There is a cost to this kind of lifestyle. Jesus says that the result is that people living in this zone don’t mature. Instead, life’s worries, riches, and pleasures choke their spiritual growth. 

In all honesty, one of my greatest fears in life is that I don’t mature as a Christ-follower. I fear not getting to a place of spiritual maturity and continued growth throughout my life. One of the most strategic things we can do is be honest about how much space we are giving God in our lives, how much growth is actually occurring, and how intentional we are about becoming more like Jesus. Whatever picture we paint for the outside world, we know in our heart of hearts how serious we are about maturing in Him.

Jesus contrasts the seed that falls among the thorns with the seed that falls on good soil. “But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.” 

Here is where we want to be. Notice how Jesus describes those who are good soil. They have noble and good hearts. Why are they described this way? Because they hear the word, they retain it and apply it, and the result is a crop of righteousness in their lives. 

So what is the critical difference between those whose spiritual growth is choked out and those who are good soil? Three simple things. First, those with good soil are not distracted, and they have space and time for God. The word of God intentionally nourishes their lives. They learn that word, retain that word, seek to understand it, and then apply it in their lives. None of this happens without intentional effort. It is an arrangement of our lives so that God is not lost and we have space for Him. We make space for Him. We intentionally find time for Him and His word, and we apply that word equally deliberately to our lives. That is good soil, and it bears a generous crop of spiritual maturity and righteousness in our lives.

Which of these two kinds of soil describes you today? If you are not entirely in the good soil description, do you want to be? If the answer is yes, what changes do you need to make to your life so that God is more central, so you have more space for Him, and what can you do to better understand and apply His word to your life?

Father, I pray that you would help me live with Good soil that hears your word, understands your counsel, and applies it to my life. I want to experience the harvest of righteousness. Help me experience more of you, Jesus, and fewer distractions. Amen.

The question for today: How do I need to rearrange my life to give more space and time for God and His Word so that I live in good soil rather than among the thorns?

Lessons I have learned in working with church conflict

 

After many years of working with churches that find themselves in conflictual situations, I have concluded that there are six non-negotiable principles for a successful outcome.

First, an outside facilitator is usually necessary. The nature of conflict is that people take sides so it becomes very difficult for anyone from within to play the role of a neutral mediator. In fact, the larger the conflict the more critical it is that the individual you bring in is trusted by both sides to have the best interests of the church at heart. The sooner you bring someone in when it is clear that the situation is dangerous the better.

Second, the issues that are fueling the conflict need to be brought into the light. Conflict thrives in the shadows, in gossip, in cliques, in assumptions and behind the scenes. Bringing all the competing agendas, attitudes and positions into the light and allowing all members of the congregation to understand what is being said, what is happening and what the issues are takes the mystique out of the situation and allows everyone to respond from a position of knowledge. It also removes the power of those who have an agenda but have not been willing to make it public but have instead been putting on pressure from behind the scenes. Getting everything on the table allows all stakeholders to understand what is going on and to have a voice in solving the issues. Ironically, those who are most vociferous in their opinions overplay those who agree with them when in fact, if all facts were known, the majority would not agree. 

Third. Reconciliation is always preferable to disunity. This is actually a hard concept for many who have taken a position in church conflict. First, our natural tendency is to take a hard line and once we have told others about our own line-in-the-sand it is humbling to change our position. Second, the longer conflict goes on, the more we see the members of the opposing side as evil, dishonest, disingenuous, people with bad motives and once we demonize people it is hard to ever think that reconciliation is possible. 

To not be willing to consider reconciliation is to make a mockery of God's reconciliation with us and His call for us to be reconcilers. Speaking of church conflict, this is what Paul had to say to the Corinthians. "I appeal to you brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought (1 Corinthians 1:10)." 

In Ephesians 4:1-6 Paul writes, "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to one hope when you were called - one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." Having said that, I acknowledge that sometimes it is not going to be possible to reconcile and stay together. Sometimes it means that we part ways and speak well of one another.

Fourth, ground rules need to be established. One of the most incendiary fuels in all conflict is the absence of ground rules - what is acceptable and what is not. For a list of the ground rules that I recommend, see my blog, Negotiating church conflict in a healthy manner. Or if you want to keep it very simple, look back at the passage in Ephesians 4:1-6 where he says be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. When you think about it, these characteristics are almost always lacking when conflict is taking place. What gets in our way? Pride, wanting to get our own way, anger, and our emotions.

Five, you probably will not convince everyone. There are people who don't want to reconcile. There are people whose pride is far greater than their humility and they have no desire to seek a win/win solution. In working with churches in conflict, I don't do very much to try to convince the unconvincible even if they have the loudest voices. I am looking for people of peace and reason who are willing to work together to see the church come together in unity. This does not mean that the issues that have caused disunity are swept under the rug. To the contrary, as principle two states, they are all on the table and those that need to be addressed are addressed. To do that successfully, however, it requires men and women of peace and reason, whose personal agendas do not cloud their emotions.

Who is most likely to leave in church conflict? Those who have taken a hard stand and cannot or will not compromise that stand. Frankly, it is good for them to leave because they will simply contribute to ongoing conflict if they are not willing to come together with the rest of the congregation.

Sixth: It is a process. Church conflict does not start overnight and it does not get settled overnight. It may take a year in some cases to bring the church back to health. The benefits of doing so far outweigh the trauma of either a church split (which damages churches for years to come) a powerplay by a faction in the church (which causes huge trauma to a church and a significant lack of trust) or not dealing with it at all which dooms the church to later issues.

What is needed for a healthy process is a willingness of the congregation to work together recognizing that how they handle their differences will either enhance or diminish the reputation of Jesus. If His reputation is at stake - and it is - I will do all I can to enhance it.

Additional blogs on church conflict:

Negotiating church conflict in a healthy manner

8 Reasons in my experience that churches experience major conflict

Church conflict: Finding the core issue and the common source

Seven things to understand about church conflict

Church conflict, christian character and the reputation of Jesus