| Wanting a Mom and a Dad |
| Children of Same-Sex Couples |
| Eric Metaxas http://contentz.mkt3980.com/mson/2013/06/03/cbC5o1Hs5wcc/index.html |
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Insightful post by Eric Metaxas on same sex marriage and its impact on children
As we earn more do we start to need more and actually give less?
There is an irony in the statistics of Christian giving. The more one has or makes, the smaller the percentage they often give. Those with lower incomes give a higher percentage of their wealth to Christ than those who have higher incomes.
It makes me wonder if the more we make the more we think we need and therefore protect our wealth. In other words, the thresh hold of need rises as our income rises along with a perceived need to protect that wealth.
The result is that in general, those who have the most give a lesser percentage than those who have less. Is it possible that God's generosity to us often creates a greater dependency on material things because our attention becomes increasingly focused on wealth as security rather than on Jesus and a life of faith?
Becoming more conservative in our generosity to God as wealth increases is at odds with the Scriptural principle of being generous with God in proportion to how He has and does bless us. Consider 2 Corinthians 9:6-9. "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."
The irony is that God's blessing - which He freely gives to us - can cause us to be less generous back to the One who gave us the blessing. It was the caution God gave the Israelites in Deuteronomy 7. The more we depend on our wealth for security the less we live by faith.
I love Paul's words to Timothy in 1 Timothy 6:17-19. Command those who are rich in this present world...to do good, to be rich in good deeds and to be generous and willing to share."
He does not say to give it all away. He simply encourages generosity and an open hand. God's generosity to us is a model of what our generosity to Him should be.
One last thing: Most of us don't consider ourselves as wealthy. We see wealth as relative to those who have more than us. But, if our combined family income is $100,000 or more annually we are in the top one half of one percent of wealthy globally. That helps put it in perspective for all of us. Fifty four percent of our world lives on $3.00 per day or less and 91% of our world lives on $10,000 per year or less.
It makes me wonder if the more we make the more we think we need and therefore protect our wealth. In other words, the thresh hold of need rises as our income rises along with a perceived need to protect that wealth.
The result is that in general, those who have the most give a lesser percentage than those who have less. Is it possible that God's generosity to us often creates a greater dependency on material things because our attention becomes increasingly focused on wealth as security rather than on Jesus and a life of faith?
Becoming more conservative in our generosity to God as wealth increases is at odds with the Scriptural principle of being generous with God in proportion to how He has and does bless us. Consider 2 Corinthians 9:6-9. "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."
The irony is that God's blessing - which He freely gives to us - can cause us to be less generous back to the One who gave us the blessing. It was the caution God gave the Israelites in Deuteronomy 7. The more we depend on our wealth for security the less we live by faith.
I love Paul's words to Timothy in 1 Timothy 6:17-19. Command those who are rich in this present world...to do good, to be rich in good deeds and to be generous and willing to share."
He does not say to give it all away. He simply encourages generosity and an open hand. God's generosity to us is a model of what our generosity to Him should be.
One last thing: Most of us don't consider ourselves as wealthy. We see wealth as relative to those who have more than us. But, if our combined family income is $100,000 or more annually we are in the top one half of one percent of wealthy globally. That helps put it in perspective for all of us. Fifty four percent of our world lives on $3.00 per day or less and 91% of our world lives on $10,000 per year or less.
Monday, June 3, 2013
What in the world are you thinking?
That is a question many staff want to about their leaders. What is on their mind? What are they thinking? How are they evaluating the work of the organization? What is coming in the future? What ideas are percolating in their minds.
A large part of staff trust in their leaders (whether at the top or leaders of teams or divisions) has to do with knowing what their leader is thinking. It not only builds trust but it provides a great deal of stability on the staff because disclosure eliminates surprises and allows staff to move in the same direction as their leadership.
Leaders who don't practice appropriate disclosure can come off as aloof and unapproachable. Not a recipe for trust and collegial relationships. There is a deep desire for good staff to understand what is on the minds of their leaders and to be able to move forward with them toward the same goal.
If you are a leader, how disclosing are you with your staff? Obviously we are the most disclosing with our senior staff and appropriately disclosing with others. The members of the ReachGlobal cabinet - the senior team I lead know exactly what I am thinking at any point in time which has built significant trust and allows us to think corporately about the future.
The more private we keep what is in our minds the less powerful our leadership. The more disclosing we are, the more effective our leadership.
A large part of staff trust in their leaders (whether at the top or leaders of teams or divisions) has to do with knowing what their leader is thinking. It not only builds trust but it provides a great deal of stability on the staff because disclosure eliminates surprises and allows staff to move in the same direction as their leadership.
Leaders who don't practice appropriate disclosure can come off as aloof and unapproachable. Not a recipe for trust and collegial relationships. There is a deep desire for good staff to understand what is on the minds of their leaders and to be able to move forward with them toward the same goal.
If you are a leader, how disclosing are you with your staff? Obviously we are the most disclosing with our senior staff and appropriately disclosing with others. The members of the ReachGlobal cabinet - the senior team I lead know exactly what I am thinking at any point in time which has built significant trust and allows us to think corporately about the future.
The more private we keep what is in our minds the less powerful our leadership. The more disclosing we are, the more effective our leadership.
The dysfunction of control in ministry organizations
Control is the opposite of empowerment. Empowerment releases people within specified boundaries to use their gifts and abilities for maximum ministry impact with definable ministry outcomes. All too often, leaders or an organization's culture mitigate against empowerment and exercise stringent control over people and methodologies.
Control is not always overt but it has the same consequences as if it were. My own organization used to insist that there were only a few ways to do church planting around the world. People who were entrepreneurial and tried other methodologies were sometimes marginalized because they did not use the prescribed methods. The 'system' (beliefs and practices) was the controlling factor.
In local churches, many congregations have the sense that they must control their leaders, insisting that all decisions come back to them. Many leadership boards believe that they need to control the staff or they might do something unwise. Staff members often believe that they need to control volunteers to guard the quality of ministry and on it goes.
The worst form of control comes in the form of a church 'boss' who has the power to hold informal veto power over any key ministry decision, and/or an insecure leader who must micro-manage staff and activities out of his or her need to know everything, have a hand in everything and take the credit for everything.
Good leaders and good organizations and good teams empower people for ministry within appropriate boundaries and encourage them to play to their strengths in alignment with their gifts. Jesus empowered His disciples, and the leaders He left behind were told to empower and release others - the theme of Ephesians 4. Leaders determine whether their culture empowers its people or controls its people.
Healthy leaders and organizations empower while unhealthy leaders and organizations control. The first encourages people to use the best of their gifts and abilities while the second disempowers and discourages.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Do you have a cause worth giving your life to?
How passionate are you about the work God has called you to? Is it something that gets you up in the morning ready to tackle the day, knowing that it is worth giving your life to? That is one of the secrets of people of deep influence. They believe with all their heart that what they do matters, that it is of eternal consequence and that every day counts in the journey they are on.
I believe in the cause God has given our organization. “We are a gospel centered movement changing lives, communities and institutions worldwide in the power of God’s Spirit.” Even more significant for me, it aligns with God’s call on my life and my convictions so there is huge convergence between the organization I lead and His call on my life. Every day is a day to advance that cause!
The absence of a compelling cause in our personal and work lives is a debilitating condition that sucks away our energy, diminishes our joy and compromises our impact. And too many people suffer from the condition. It is sad in that God has created us specifically to accomplish something of great value for him and then gifted us for that specific influence (Ephesians 2:10). The route to deep influence is in understanding His calling and finding a cause congruent with that calling that gives us passion, conviction, joy and eternal impact.
These words may frustrate you because unlike me you do not lead the organization and those who do have not articulated a cause worth giving your life to. You are not alone but there is hope!
A cause worth giving our lives for starts with us. We are not dependent on others to determine God’s call on our lives. That is our responsibility! Once we know what that call is and how He has wired us, we live out that calling no matter where we are. This is particularly important for those who don’t yet have convergence between the strengths and passions God has implanted in them and their day to day work. We can live out His call vocationally or avocationally – the importance is that we are living it out. If it is truly His call and our passion we will find ways to answer that call no matter what we are doing vocationally!
Many people of deep influence live their lives in the secular workplace where they live out God’s call on their lives. They know that full time ministry is not the only way to impact our world and in fact, those who are in vocational ministry will often never touch the people and institutions they can touch. They are the Nehemiahs and Daniels and Esthers who have amazing influence because of their character and commitment to bring the ethics of the kingdom to the marketplace.
The fact is that entire organizations can be influenced and transformed when God’s people live out their cause in the marketplace. People are treated better, ethics are higher, excellence grows, and communities are made better because people of deep influence quietly live out their cause and God’s call on their lives.
If you are a part of a Christian organization, never underestimate your influence on the organization you are a part of in helping them come to clarity on their cause. Most leaders who don’t have a clearly defined cause would love to have one but need help getting there. Leadership can come from the bottom, the middle or the top if done wisely but persistently.
For years at the EFCA national office, I did not have a senior position but through my writing, relationships and the team I led I was able to have influence on the direction of our movement. In fact, position is not the key factor – influence is. Figure out how you can have influence and encourage missional clarity and a cause worth giving oneself to from whatever place you are in the organization.
There are times when it is worth looking for a different ministry organization to serve if you are convinced that they cannot come to clarity around a passionate cause, or that you will not find convergence between your strengths, wiring and call in the place you currently work. There are organizations that simply lack the will to live out a clear and passionate cause because it is far more comfortable to settle for what is rather than to press into what could and should be. I would not last very long in a comfortable organization and most people of deep influence will not.
The very fact that you are willing to look elsewhere may be a wake up call to your organization that not all is well. If it is not, it is confirmation that you made the right choice! The world has far too many sleepy and non missional congregations and ministries. Deep influence is rarely found there.
I am so passionate about the cause I am a part of that I have told my family that if anything ever happens to me in the pursuit of that cause that they should know that I left this earth a happy and fulfilled man. The cause of the gospel is worth that to me and the multiplication of Gospel centered churches that bring hope to the hopeless and transformation to communities is worth every bit of energy I expend and even my life. It is a cause that is God sized, eternity driven and worth the “prize” that Paul speaks of for all of us.
People of deep influence are driven by a cause greater than themselves and one that has eternal consequences. They are driven by the same passion that drove Jesus to take the hard road to Gethsemane. They never settle for a life of comfort over a life of influence and impact and if it comes to it, they are willing to pay the price for that which they are passionate about – whatever it may be. Do you have such a cause?
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
I believe in the cause God has given our organization. “We are a gospel centered movement changing lives, communities and institutions worldwide in the power of God’s Spirit.” Even more significant for me, it aligns with God’s call on my life and my convictions so there is huge convergence between the organization I lead and His call on my life. Every day is a day to advance that cause!
The absence of a compelling cause in our personal and work lives is a debilitating condition that sucks away our energy, diminishes our joy and compromises our impact. And too many people suffer from the condition. It is sad in that God has created us specifically to accomplish something of great value for him and then gifted us for that specific influence (Ephesians 2:10). The route to deep influence is in understanding His calling and finding a cause congruent with that calling that gives us passion, conviction, joy and eternal impact.
These words may frustrate you because unlike me you do not lead the organization and those who do have not articulated a cause worth giving your life to. You are not alone but there is hope!
A cause worth giving our lives for starts with us. We are not dependent on others to determine God’s call on our lives. That is our responsibility! Once we know what that call is and how He has wired us, we live out that calling no matter where we are. This is particularly important for those who don’t yet have convergence between the strengths and passions God has implanted in them and their day to day work. We can live out His call vocationally or avocationally – the importance is that we are living it out. If it is truly His call and our passion we will find ways to answer that call no matter what we are doing vocationally!
Many people of deep influence live their lives in the secular workplace where they live out God’s call on their lives. They know that full time ministry is not the only way to impact our world and in fact, those who are in vocational ministry will often never touch the people and institutions they can touch. They are the Nehemiahs and Daniels and Esthers who have amazing influence because of their character and commitment to bring the ethics of the kingdom to the marketplace.
The fact is that entire organizations can be influenced and transformed when God’s people live out their cause in the marketplace. People are treated better, ethics are higher, excellence grows, and communities are made better because people of deep influence quietly live out their cause and God’s call on their lives.
If you are a part of a Christian organization, never underestimate your influence on the organization you are a part of in helping them come to clarity on their cause. Most leaders who don’t have a clearly defined cause would love to have one but need help getting there. Leadership can come from the bottom, the middle or the top if done wisely but persistently.
For years at the EFCA national office, I did not have a senior position but through my writing, relationships and the team I led I was able to have influence on the direction of our movement. In fact, position is not the key factor – influence is. Figure out how you can have influence and encourage missional clarity and a cause worth giving oneself to from whatever place you are in the organization.
There are times when it is worth looking for a different ministry organization to serve if you are convinced that they cannot come to clarity around a passionate cause, or that you will not find convergence between your strengths, wiring and call in the place you currently work. There are organizations that simply lack the will to live out a clear and passionate cause because it is far more comfortable to settle for what is rather than to press into what could and should be. I would not last very long in a comfortable organization and most people of deep influence will not.
The very fact that you are willing to look elsewhere may be a wake up call to your organization that not all is well. If it is not, it is confirmation that you made the right choice! The world has far too many sleepy and non missional congregations and ministries. Deep influence is rarely found there.
I am so passionate about the cause I am a part of that I have told my family that if anything ever happens to me in the pursuit of that cause that they should know that I left this earth a happy and fulfilled man. The cause of the gospel is worth that to me and the multiplication of Gospel centered churches that bring hope to the hopeless and transformation to communities is worth every bit of energy I expend and even my life. It is a cause that is God sized, eternity driven and worth the “prize” that Paul speaks of for all of us.
People of deep influence are driven by a cause greater than themselves and one that has eternal consequences. They are driven by the same passion that drove Jesus to take the hard road to Gethsemane. They never settle for a life of comfort over a life of influence and impact and if it comes to it, they are willing to pay the price for that which they are passionate about – whatever it may be. Do you have such a cause?
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Marginalization of the elders among us
One of the things that bothers me in the contemporary church is a tendency I see in some quarters to marginalize the generations that are older than us.
America is a youth culture - it celebrates youth and many congregations have bought into that youth culture at the expense of our older generations who paved the way for us and who often pay the bills for us still today. Besides, what ever happened to all people matter to God? Since when do we not need the white hair generation to pass on some wisdom and experience to the youth of today?
Now you may be thinking that I am just one of those cranky older folks since I am eligible for AARP (but not a member) at 57. I don't feel marginalized - yet, but I know many who do and I often wonder how those who do it (some pastors) will feel when they reach retirement. What I do know is that I no longer fit the targeted market of many churches. I am just glad Jesus does not have a target market as I might not fit it. Churches often seem to though.
All of God's people have a legacy to fill for as long as they are alive. The moment we marginalize them, pigeon hole them or treat them with a lack of respect and dignity we have lost our way. It is what the Pharisees did with various segments of the population. It is not what Jesus did.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Leadership and power
As a student of people, a leader, a leadership coach and an avid reader of biographies (including those in Scripture) I often think about the relationship of power and leading. I am convinced that power leaves no individual unscathed unless it is deliberately and continually managed and tempered because leadership includes the exercise of influence and power by its very nature.
We have all heard the adage that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Most leaders would not want to think that the adage pertains to them. Certainly leaders I know are generally not corrupt. But, the ability of power to change us can be subtle and insidious. And dangerous.
Consider: because leaders are in a position of power over others it is possible for them to live with greater autonomy and lesser accountability than others. After all, it is a difficult thing to challenge someone who has your livelihood in their hands. The very nature of the relationship makes it so. I know many staff who wish they could say some things to their leader but do not feel the freedom to do so. Perhaps it is true for some of my own staff. Those who have authority over others have much more freedom to speak into the lives of those they lead than the other way around.
That sense of power and freedom can lead unhealthy places: no longer listening to others as we should; carelessness in how we treat others; skirting ethical edges knowing that we will not be called on it; hubris; believing our own press (usually not very objective); thinking ourselves better than we really are (most leaders do); isolation; lack of transparency and even honesty and the list could go on. Any student of leadership, leaders and history knows the story. And it is not pretty.
I am convinced that the greater our leadership platform the greater our need for deep introspection of our lives, an understanding of our fallenness, temptations, and predilections and the depth of relationships with others that can help keep us honest: really honest. Because power all too often leads to dishonesty - the ability we have to fool ourselves regarding our motivations and our actions.
Deeply introspective leaders are more aware and conscious of who they are, what drives them, what their shadow side is and how they need to manage that shadow side than leaders who hide behind the addiction of activity. Driven leaders are often running from themselves, while introspective leaders are driven to understand themselves and live in a place of health! Much of that introspection needs to be around how we manage living with influence and power while living in personal health and wholeness.
Here are some introspective questions leaders can ask of themselves:
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
We have all heard the adage that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Most leaders would not want to think that the adage pertains to them. Certainly leaders I know are generally not corrupt. But, the ability of power to change us can be subtle and insidious. And dangerous.
Consider: because leaders are in a position of power over others it is possible for them to live with greater autonomy and lesser accountability than others. After all, it is a difficult thing to challenge someone who has your livelihood in their hands. The very nature of the relationship makes it so. I know many staff who wish they could say some things to their leader but do not feel the freedom to do so. Perhaps it is true for some of my own staff. Those who have authority over others have much more freedom to speak into the lives of those they lead than the other way around.
That sense of power and freedom can lead unhealthy places: no longer listening to others as we should; carelessness in how we treat others; skirting ethical edges knowing that we will not be called on it; hubris; believing our own press (usually not very objective); thinking ourselves better than we really are (most leaders do); isolation; lack of transparency and even honesty and the list could go on. Any student of leadership, leaders and history knows the story. And it is not pretty.
I am convinced that the greater our leadership platform the greater our need for deep introspection of our lives, an understanding of our fallenness, temptations, and predilections and the depth of relationships with others that can help keep us honest: really honest. Because power all too often leads to dishonesty - the ability we have to fool ourselves regarding our motivations and our actions.
Deeply introspective leaders are more aware and conscious of who they are, what drives them, what their shadow side is and how they need to manage that shadow side than leaders who hide behind the addiction of activity. Driven leaders are often running from themselves, while introspective leaders are driven to understand themselves and live in a place of health! Much of that introspection needs to be around how we manage living with influence and power while living in personal health and wholeness.
Here are some introspective questions leaders can ask of themselves:
- Are there any areas of my leadership life where I am skirting the ethical edge because I can?
- Have I lost the ability to be honest with myself about what drives and motivates me?
- Do I hold others to a standard that is different than the standard I hold myself to?
- Do I give my staff complete freedom to approach me on any issue regarding my leadership? Do I foster an open and candid atmosphere where staff feel free to challenge me and to ask hard questions? Am I willing to give my staff the ability to give me feedback on my leadership?
- Is there any area where I am using my power or influence for personal gain rather than for missional effectiveness?
- Do my ends ever justify my means when it comes to accomplishing the mission?
- Have I allowed leadership to develop a "pride of place" in my life that has crowded out personal humility?
- Do I have a set of core leadership values or guiding principles that I can articulate for myself and hold myself accountable to?
- What safeguards have I built into my life to keep power from changing me?
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
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