Congregational meetings and church health

The first congregational meeting I attended in a church I was a member of was a disaster. A staff member had been let go, and a delegation came to defend him and skewer the church leaders. In the heat of the moment, the church chairman told someone to call the police! It went downhill from there. 

The tone, behavior, and tenor of congregational meetings say a lot about the health of the church. If dysfunction exists in the congregation, it is likely to show itself here. Because it is here that leaders either choose to be properly transparent or to hide their agendas and where the congregation has a chance to say what it wants to say in whatever way they choose to do so. Here are some markers of congregational meetings and what they say about the health of the church.

One: Leaders have the opportunity to craft public meetings, which means that they have the ability to control the agenda in ways that are either healthy or unhealthy. When leaders surprise the congregation in public meetings in large ways, they have led poorly, as this is not the place to drop something large on the congregation, and expect that they will act on it quickly. Usually, surprising the congregation in a public meeting means that the leadership did not have the will or the courage to lay the groundwork ahead of time.

Two: How transparent leaders are on issues that they can be candid about says a lot about their leadership. When they are secretive, don't answer the concerns of the congregation or will not explain issues that deserve an explanation, they are usually working from defensive, fearful, or authoritarian positions. Where there are complicated issues to discuss, such as budgets or bi-law changes, good leaders will provide venues prior to the meeting so that all concerns can be addressed. However, in either case, their willingness to listen, respond and be honest is a key indicator of their health.

Three: The attitude of the congregation in public meetings says much about the health of the body as a whole. When public charges are made in a less than loving matter, when opinions are expressed with anger or where there are personal attacks or hidden agendas behind comments and questions, it does not come from Jesus! The fruit of the Spirit in all congregational deliberations is a sign of its health and the absence of its dishealth.

Four: This is one that many leaders don't get. When they don't provide adequate communication, don't listen to their congregation, or have an agenda that the congregation does not desire to follow and does not feel right about, they will be challenged where there is an opportunity, and this is one of those opportunities. When leaders will not address the concerns of many, there will be an eruption somewhere, and it is often in this venue. While I don't condone any eruptions that don't display the fruit of the Spirit on this one, I don't blame the congregation but insensitive leaders who have not done their job well. If you frustrate the congregation long enough, it will come out at some point.

Congregations are families. When families get along it is because they are operating out of health. When they don't get along they are operating from dishealth.

How do you know if your meetings are healthy? Ask yourself if you want to go to them. If you have anxiety over them or feel the tension in the room, there is dysfunction afoot. Leaders, especially, ought to be aware of those tensions and do what they need to do in order to lead well.

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

The discipline of giving people the benefit of the doubt

Giving those around us the benefit of the doubt when their questions, words or actions irritate us is a discipline - because what we often want to do is to either judge their motives or respond in kind. As Paul says about the fruit of the Spirit: it is loving, peaceable, patient, kind, gentle and exhibits self control. Perhaps the last is the hardest. 

Why do we give the benefit of the doubt to others?

First, when we don't we run a real risk of being wrong about their motives. Why run that risk and complicate the relationship or make judgments about others that are in fact not true?

Second, the character of Jesus calls us to grace with others. I am so glad Jesus chooses to give me that grace on a daily basis?

Third, when others are irritating they are often acting out of frustration and the stresses of their own lives. A kind word and attitude in response can be a cup of cold water to a thirsty soul. Life is often not kind to people but we can be.

Fourth, we desire that others give us the benefit of the doubt so it is only right that we do the same. As a leader I am often privy to information that others don't have and cannot share. I am grateful when people realize this and are willing to trust me even when they don't have all the information. I have the same obligation to them.

Fifth, When we harbor anger, grudges and judgement in regards to others it is a burden on our own emotions. It robs us of our joy and colors our perspectives. Why live in that prison? 

Finally, as Jesus would remind us, the log in our own eye is more critical than the sliver in another's eye. 

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

When my church doesn't grow!

With all the hype about church growth and large churches it can be a discouraging road when the church we pastor does not grow substantially. Of course we often forget that the average size church in the United States is well under 200 people. Yet the churches and pastors that get the greatest attention are in the thousands and are seen as the measure of success. 

How do I respond when I pastor a smaller church and over the years there is not appreciable numerical growth? Let's talk some perspective here.

Remember, a large church is not by definition a better or healthier church. I know because I have consulted with many churches of all sizes. Church size is not a measure in itself of success. The number of missionaries sent by small churches, for instance, far outnumbers the missionaries sent by large churches, as a percentage. 

No church grows forever. That is a myth. There are limits to an organizations size. Some leaders are able to grow a larger church than others simply because of their organizational skills but that does not mean that those in a smaller church are any less of a leader. Usually they have much greater shepherding gifts than those who pastor large churches.

Many people prefer a smaller church that is more like a family than the anonymity of a large church. Some people like to get lost in the crowd or have many programs at their disposal. Other love the relationships and family feel of a smaller church. I know many people who have moved from large churches to a smaller one - and loved it.

Our focus should not be on numbers which in the United States is usually transfer growth. It should be on developing the healthiest church we can, one that is full of grace and truth, that is Gospel and Jesus centered where people are always taking the next step in their relationship with God. That will naturally result in people coming to Jesus and growing to look like Him. A healthy church, large or small creates healthy disciples and disciplemakers. Whether one's church becomes large or mid-size or small what matters most is its health. At the same time we should remove barriers to growth so that the church can grow in numbers if God so blesses. 

Our goal should not be to compete with other churches or compare ourselves with them. It should be to be the healthiest congregation possible so that we look like the church of Ephesus: a unified, empowering, releasing, God honoring church where we become more like Jesus and reach out to those who don't know Him. God's smile on our congregation and our shepherding is not dependent on our size but on our desire to reflect Him.

Finally a note to church leaders who often pressure their pastor on the attendee numbers. Be careful. Yes, there are pastors who contribute to a congregation's plateauing and decline and need to do something about it. However, if those same leaders are not helping the church become a healthy and spiritually vibrant church - but are only focused on the numbers they are contributing to the dishealth of the congregation rather than to its health.

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

Nine Church board mistakes I have been seeing lately - from Tony Morgan

See this short but insightful article on church boards. 

9 Church Board Mistakes I Have Been Seeing Lately

See my dialogue with Tony Morgan on church boards here

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

Overcoming fear and choosing faith

I am convinced that one of the greatest barriers to living the life of faith is fear. Think of the spies that were sent out to spy out the promised land and apart from one said it was impossible to enter the land. The people were too big and fierce. Think of Moses who argued with God that he was not able to lead the Exodus. Think of the eleven disciples watching Peter get out of the boat in the storm while they quite contentedly stayed in the back of the boat. 

The currency of the kingdom is faith while the currency of our world is one of fear. Politics are driven by fear. How much of the advertising we see is driven by fear? Fear of not having enough to retire. Fear of illness. Fear of a lack of security. We have to ask ourselves, which currency do we traffic in: Fear or Faith?

Faith according to Hebrews 11 is irrational from a human point of view. Faith caused a whole line of Biblical heroes to do the irrational - leave their homes like Abraham - choose the death of martyrs - build an ark when there was no rain - hid a child like Moses knowing God would rescue him - walk around Jericho and see the walls collapse - be saved because Rahab believed and the list could go on. Why? "Because faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1)."

Following Jesus is a step of faith, one at a time. It chooses to traffic in faith rather than fear. It chooses to bet on the uncertainty of following Jesus rather than staying in the comfort zone. It is willing to step out of the boat like Peter rather than stay in the comfort zone like the other 11. It is not without accident that the most often repeated command in all of scripture is "Do not fear." God knows that we naturally choose fear over faith. He asks us to choose faith over fear.

Fear keeps us from giving generously as we will not have enough. It keeps us from taking steps of faith that God lays on our hearts because we are uncertain of the outcome. It keeps us from radical obedience because we love our security. It keeps us from saying yes to God because we are afraid of the outcome. Peter understood something that the other eleven did not when he got out of the boat and joined Jesus on the stormy water. He understood that being with Jesus and where He wanted him was the safest place he could ever be. 

What are you afraid of today and where do you need victory over fear? It is only solved by faith: one step at a time, one decision at a time, choosing to trust. And He is trustworthy. Remember, when Abraham left his home he had no GPS to follow or Google to find out where he was going. He simply chose by faith to follow God. And he became the paradigm for faith in the New Testament. By faith.... 

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

When do you know it will not work with a staff member?

The organization I lead loves to be a place of grace and to maximize a staff member's gifts and wiring. However, there comes a time in all organizations or ministries when it is obvious that things are not going to work in the long term. Most of us in ministry are eternally optimistic that things will work out. It is the nature of ministry. But there are times when we need to recognize that it is not going to work. What are the signs that this is the case?

First, when we keep running into attitudes or behaviors that are counterproductive to the mission of the ministry or the team a staff member is on. I spoke to a leader recently who has a staff member whose behaviors indicate unteachability and a significant amount of hubris. 

He has coached and told the staff member that his behaviors are counterproductive. But nothing changes. I suggested that he is dealing with someone who does not listen or believe that what he is saying is true. Unteachable people are unlikely to succeed as they tend to sabotage themselves.

Second, when the staff member does not seem to value the mission or non-negotiables of the organization and want to do their own thing it is a warning sign. Teams and organizations only work well when everyone is in alignment with the rest of the group. Lone rangers don't work well on a team or within an organization.

Third, when there are significant EQ issues that keep popping up you know you have an issue. The question here is whether the individual can be coached toward greater EQ health. However, when there is significant pride or there is a teachability issue this becomes difficult, if not impossible.

Fourth, when you have tried to get someone a productive lane but there continue to be relational and emotional issues that keep getting in the way you know that it is probably not going to work. 

The bottom line is that when an enormous amount of time and energy has been expended in trying to make it work and it continues to remain problematic it is most likely not a good fit. Optimism needs at some point to be tempered by reality. It is amazing how the exit of one staff member can be the key to freedom, joy and productivity of the rest of the team. It is not always a conclusion we desire to come to but in these circumstances it is usually the right conclusion.

We cannot solve all the issues of staff members. It is not that they cannot find a place of effectiveness somewhere but sometimes it is not with our team or organization. Learning to be realistic as well as redemptive is a skill all leaders need to learn. After all, when it is not working for the leader it is usually not working for the rest of the team either. When we have done our best and it still does not work we need to take action - for our well being as well as for the well being of the organization.  Ironically it is usually the best for the staff member who does not fit as well. Run good process but don't prolong the pain.

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

The relationally grounded pastor from Leadership Journal

The Relationally Grounded Pastor

An interview with Eugene Peterson

A Leadership Journal interview


TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.