You may be surprised by the title of the blog but
the fact is that there can be significant value in conflict if it handled
correctly. I am not talking about conflict that arises from poor EQ or power
games. I am talking about the conflict of ideas, methodology and priorities.
Why can this be a good thing? For one, it reveals
that there are issues that are not clear among those who are experiencing the
conflict. Lack of clarity is never a good thing (see yesterday’s blog) so the
very fact that there is a lack of clarity gives you the opportunity to work
through the issues and come to clarity on an issue that needs clarification.
In addition, it is in the clash of ideas that the
best solutions are found. That is why the best organizations today are
relatively flat where information is available to all and where it is OK to
press into things that we believe need pressing into. Where robust dialogue
cannot be had, you have an organization that will suffer because of it. The
ability of staff to be able to be candid with one another and their leaders is
a barometer of the health of the organization.
One of the common mistakes in conflict is to
personalize it rather than to keep it de-personal and seek to identify the
clash of values, ideas, or outcomes that has caused the conflict. Getting to
what lies behind the conflicting views can help us understand the root issue(s)
and allows the group to think through the implications of those root issues.
This takes a non-defensive posture by all and a willingness to allow the robust
conversation that needs to be had. Often, when you dig to find the root issues
– and this only happens in dialogue – you realize that there is an important
issue at stake and it was the conflict that brought it to the surface.
Healthy groups have learned the skill of
non-defensive conversation and have the ability to keep the conflict centered
around issues rather than people. That is a learned skill and a sign of healthy
emotional intelligence. It also allows you to use conflict to your advantage
rather than allowing it to control you.
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