All of us have critics. Those who disagree with us, who don't like our leadership style or who offer candid feedback to us on decisions we make. These may be fellow colleagues, employees, board members or even supervisors. How should we respond to the criticisms we encounter? For those who want to be humble, the answer may be that they will accept everything at face value and try to appease their critics. For those who are prideful, it may be a matter of ignoring critics altogether. Neither of these responses are healthy or helpful.
How we respond to those who are critical of us depends on some key factors.
1. Are the individuals who are critical people who we know have our best interests in mind? If yes, we should listen. If not we should be wary of their advice.
2. Is the criticism accompanied by helpful solutions or is it just criticism? Those who want to help bring solutions to the table. Those who simply want to criticize don't.
3. Is the criticism delivered in a loving or an unloving manner. Those who deliver it lovingly are likely to have your best interests in mind. Those who don't usually do not have your best interests in mind.
4. Are the individuals who make suggestions people who normally are encouraging to you or discouraging to you? The former should be listened to, the latter probably not.
5. Is the criticism leveled at you personally or at a decision you might have made? If it is levelled at your personally you may want to take it with caution as opposed to a critique of a specific decision.
6. Does the individual who is critical desire a dialogue and conversation with you or simply want to critique you? There is a big difference between the two. If they want a dialogue it is worth having it. If their interest is simply to attack you or a decision, it is likely that they don't have your best interests in mind.
7. If the individual who is critical is someone who has developed trust with you over a period of time it is worth listening. If they have no history of trust, probably not.
8. If those who are critical indicate that they speak for others but are unwilling to identify who the "others" are it is not worth your time to take them seriously. Anyone can claim that "others" agree with them but if they are unwilling to share who those individuals are, their comments should carry little if any weight.
9. Are your critics flexible and thinking people or are they black and white in their thinking. The first category should carry more weight than the second.
It is easy for someone to try to make us feel guilty for decisions we make. There is no limit to those who will do so. That does not mean that we should listen to them or be intimidated by their counsel. We should be smart about who we listen to and who we ignore. Listen to those you should listen to and ignore those you should not.
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