Husbands who abuse and church leaders who don't act or downplay the abuse

I am reposting a blog from Elisabeth Klein with permission entitled Churches, Wake Up to Abuse. This is a real issue and one that many church leaders do not take seriously enough.

I am a very grateful girl. My pleas for help were misunderstood for a dozen years. And now, in this safe place, I can honestly say that I am grateful that they were.  Hear me out.

Because my experience is one of not being helped and being helped, I know both sides of the continuum because I experienced both sides of the continuum firsthand.

I do not wish it on anyone else, of course. I wish every pastor and church leader and adult ministries director and small group leader understood the difference between marriages going through a rough patch and marriages that are characterized by abuse or addiction issues. But that is not the case.  I hear stories all the time of women who went to their church for help, thinking it was their safest place, and not getting it.

In fact, I’m reading Jeff Crippen & Anna Wood’s A Cry for Justice right now. These people get it.  This is an all-too-familiar cycle that already-abused women suffer through at the hands of their church leadership. Please read this with an open mind and heart…if you are a church leader, does this sound like you?

“1. Victim reports abuse to her pastor/church leader.

2. Pastor/church leader does not believe her claims, or at least believes they are greatly exaggerated. After all, he “knows” her husband to be one of the finest Christian men he knows, a pillar of the church.

3. Pastor/church leader minimizes the severity of the abuse. His goal is often, frankly, damage control (to himself and to his church).

4. Pastor/church leader indirectly (or not so indirectly!) implies that the victim needs to do better in her role as wife and mother and as a Christian. He concludes that all such scenarios are a “50/50” blame sharing.

5. Pastor/church leader sends the victim home, back to the abuser, after praying with her and entrusting the problem to the Lord.

6. Pastor/church leader believes he has done his job.

7. Victim returns, reporting that nothing has changed. She has tried harder and prayed, but the abuse has continued.

8. Pastor/church leader decides to do some counseling. He says “I will have a little talk with your husband” or “I am sure that all three of us can sit down and work this all out.” Either of these routes only results in further and more intense abuse of the victim. This counseling can go on for years! (One victim reported that it dragged on for nine years in her case).

9. As time passes, the victim becomes the guilty party in the eyes of the pastor/church leader and others. She is the one causing the commotion. She is pressured by the pastor/church leader and others in the church to stop rebelling, to submit to her husband, and stop causing division in the church.

10. After more time passes, the victim separates from or divorces the abuser. The church has refused to believe her, has persistently covered up the abuse, has failed to obey the law and report the abuse to the police; and has refused to exercise church discipline against the abuser. Ironically, warnings of impending church discipline are often directed against the victim!

11. The final terrible injustice is that the victim is the one who must leave the church, while the abuser remains a member in good standing, having successfully duped the pastor/church leader and church into believing that his victim was the real problem.”

In my first twelve or so years of asking for help, this was my cycle, and it happened several times.  I can gratefully say that I did eventually get the help that I (and my marriage) so desperately needed, but I need you to hear me.  The above cycle is real. The above cycle happens more than you want to believe. The above cycle absolutely MUST STOP.

If you are a pastor or are in church leadership, I believe that God is counting on you to wake up and to get this right.  His children are in need of your help, your intervention, your wisdom, your prayer, your support.  If this sounds like how you’ve handled these situations in the past, it’s not too late to make living amends by doing research and changing your approach.  Please. On behalf of every woman who is dying (physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually) in her marriage, I am begging you to do things differently from this point forward. Marriages and hearts and lives are at stake.

Two questions I’d like to leave you with from A Cry for Justice:

Do I see abuse in the same light as the Lord does, or have I been guilty of minimizing or even denying it?

Have you ever considered that the Pauline exception of abandonment just might include the emotional, spiritual, or financial abandonment often faced by victims of domestic abuse?

Please allow me to pray for you as you lead and counsel and offer support:

Jesus, I lift up every pastor and church leader who comes in contact with a woman in an abusive or addiction-fraught marriage. Please open their eyes and minds and hearts to the realities of these women. Please give them the humility to admit if they’ve been wrong and the courage to course-correct. Please give them the wisdom they need to stand up and fight for these women, for their children, even for their husbands. Please do something, Jesus. We need you.  These women and children need you.  Amen.

Recommended resources:
A Cry for Justice by Jeff Crippen & Anna Wood
Divorce and Remarriage in the Church by David Instone-Brewer
Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage by Elisabeth Klein
The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick
No Place for Abuse: Biblical and Practical Resources to Counteract Domestic Violence by Catherine Clark Kroeger

The art of critical analysis and distinguishing between what is and what we wish it to be

It is very easy to assume that all is well in our ministries, on our boards or with our ministry teams whether or not it is actually true. One of the deficits of ministry leaders is that we are often not very skilled at critical analysis and don't take the time to evaluate deeply our actual health from what we wish that health to be. We tend to look at our ministries through rose colored glasses, assume the best and do not have mechanisms to verify the actual situation.

In my work with churches, for instance, boards often assume that all is well with the staff until one day they get a wake up call and realize that there are all kinds of dysfunction on staff due to poor leadership of their senior pastor in that arena and they have a major problem on their hands. Their assumptions were wrong and they had not done due diligence to monitor what was compared to what they assumed it to be. In most of these cases the problems had been brewing for years and it was still not identified and dealt with.

The same is true for boards themselves where we assume all is well and one day realize that we have not been guarding the unity of the board and have been living with unhealthy relationships and practices and there is now division. It did not happen overnight. We were simply blind to it. 

I could give many other examples but it comes down to this. Are we paying attention to the various aspects of our ministry and asking the hard questions as to what is really happening or are we assuming the best and glossing over the problems. Critical analysis is not always easy, it can be threatening, and it takes time but it is the only way to ensure ongoing health and effectiveness.

For boards and senior leaders: Don't just take everyone's word that all is well. Ask the hard questions and find ways to verify. This is one of our jobs. We celebrate success and progress but we are also always alert to what is "under the hood" and where the issues are that need to be addressed. It is learning to distinguish between what really is and what we wish them to be.

Understanding one of the most important countries in Africa

Every now and then a book comes along that is truly outstanding and this is one. Congo, often called the heart of Africa, has been a place of mission activity for many, many years. It is one of the richest countries in the world in natural resources but a failed state. It has suffered one of the longest civil wars, dictatorships, has a legacy of slave trading going back to when it was a possession of King Leopold of Belgium. It is also a place where the church is growing and flourishing and where there is a deep desire for the Gospel to transform the country and it is a country in need of transformation.

In many ways Congo is a metaphor for much of Africa and this book will keep your attention as it unfolds its history through the eyes of those who lived it. I highly recommend it to everyone who wants to learn more about Africa and to all who support mission efforts in Congo it is a must read.

Congo: The Epic History of a People, by David Van Reybrouck.

How to destroy a good decision

The answer is very simple: Run a bad process! I have come to the conclusion that it is easier to make the right decision than it is to run the process necessary to carry it out well. And good decisions, executed badly hurt your organization in a significant way.

Take for example a decision to let a staff member go who is under performing and creating significant issues for the rest of the staff. At some point after trying to coach and having been candid with the staff member to try to help them grow you make the (right) decision that they need to leave your team. The easy part is done.

The hard part is the process by which you make the transition. Do you know who their constituency is that may take up their cause? Is there a way to help them go to another job rather than just leave the present job? Can you convince them to not "burn" your ministry on the way out because of anger? If challenged, can you demonstrate that you ran proper process before you made your decision? Is that process documented so that you are not running into legal trouble? Are there timing issues involved? Do you know how their responsibilities will be handled when they are gone? Have you thought through your communication plan? Are there people you need to talk to personally? Are there any unintended consequences to what you intend to do?

Good decisions handled badly destroy whatever forward process your decision was meant to bring. Even a bad decision handled well is better than a good decision handled badly. 

Often we put great care into getting our decision right but are careless in the execution of the decision. The truth is that often we need to put more time into the process than the decision itself. Making good decisions and running good process are both critically important.

What I have learned from leaders who have failed or disappointed me

Like most of us who have been around a while I have seen my share of Christian leaders who have failed the test of leadership. This has included affairs, financial misappropriation, addictions, extreme narcissism, unwillingness to be accountable to their boards, staff abuse, plain poor leadership and the list could go on. Just do a Google search and there is no lack of  high profile leaders whose lives have come undone.

As in all of life there are lessons to be learned here and these are some of the lessons I have learned.

One. All of us have feet of clay and struggle with our own shadow side. Leaders do as well. No one is exempt from one's lower nature or the normal temptations of life. Thus while we hold Christian leaders to a higher standard, they too will fall in a fallen world. While disappointed, I am no longer surprised. But for the grace of God go I.

Two. That being the case I no longer place any individual on a pedestal believing they are different. The higher one places them the further they fall and the greater the disappointment. I pray for leaders in my life but recognize that they are subject to the same life issues that I am. I refuse to become a groupie of the latest high profile Christian leader.

Three. I cannot outsource my relationship with God to others. I am personally responsible for my life, my spiritual growth, the use of my gifts and how I use my life for God. Thus when a leader falls, the truth is that it does not impact my spiritual life and I do not become disillusioned. 

Four. I recognize that one of the reasons leaders fail is that they get caught up in their own success and people no longer tell them the truth. I am committed to being respectful but absolutely honest with leaders around me, resisting the temptation to treat them differently or to be less than candid. What they do with it is their business. Mine is not to contribute to the problem.

Five. I must guard my own life so that the common factors that contribute to leadership failure do not become my experience. This includes accountable relationships, encouraging my staff to be candid and upfront, living with humility and being deeply aware of my own shadow side and vulnerabilities. No one is exempt from the issues that contribute to failed leadership. 

World conflict, the gospel and our personal response

It is easy to watch the news of the various conflicts in our world such as that between the Palestinians and Israel or Russia and Ukraine and simply think about who are the good guys and the bad guys, informed by our political persuasion or where we are from. I believe that for believers, the issues are more complex than this.

I am not naive about world realities. Those movements who engage in ethnic cleansing, the eradication of believers or those not like them (ISIS) or who simply disregard human life for their own purposes are quite simply evil and must be dealt with if we believe in the sanctity of human life. The purpose of government is to maintain peace and there are times when evil must be addressed whether the genocide in Rawanda or the Nazi aggression in the Second world War. 

Certainly I have strong feelings on many matters informed by my own world view. I am an avid reader of history and world events and see issues from the perspective of my Third Culture upbringing. As one involved in the proclamation of the Gospel, however, I have a higher interest and that is seeing the Gospel spread. Ultimately the hope of our world is not in any political system or government but it is quite simply Jesus. 

Yesterday I wrote this letter to a friend in Russia (who is ethnically Russian) who is engaged in ministry there and was pointing out atrocities of the Ukrainians against the Russians. Of course the perception in most of the west is that the aggression in this region was initiated by Russia upon Ukraine.

I am grieved about the loss of life on both sides in this conflict. I know that all of us have our personal opinions on where the most culpability lies. War is a dirty business and the innocent are the biggest losers. I believe the Gospel is the only true answer to our world’s conflicts including this one.

As I travel and do ministry abroad I don’t do so as an American citizen but as an ambassador of the Gospel and therefore never engage in public political discussions (even though I have convictions on them). I am praying for the advance of the Gospel in Russia and Ukraine. As you may remember my wife’s father was from Ukraine and most of her relatives reside there.

I also pray that Russian and Ukrainian believers will not be divided by what their governments do, good or bad. We are citizens of the Kingdom of Jesus and He is the one who unites us.

Our world is a complicated place, diminished and wounded by sin. I grieve for the loss of life in Gaza and in Israel. I pray peace as Paul told us to pray. I pray for God's will to be done on earth as it is in heaven as Jesus taught us to pray. I know there are aggressors and I know that many innocent people are caught in the crossfire.

If we look at the situation in Israel there are no simple answers either. Both Israel and the Palestinians have been involved in horrific actions against one another and there is enough blame to go around and neither government is righteous and no government will be until Jesus returns. Jesus died equally for the Israelis and the Palestinians. He cares about justice and mercy and walking humbly before God and that applies to nations and individual.

I am often asked in third world countries about the politics of America and the perception that Americans are all about wars, drones, bombs and aggression. My standard answer is that I am not here to represent any government and there are no righteous nations. The hope of the world is Jesus. I do have political opinions but they have never appeared on this blog in my role as one involved in world missions. I leave that to others and my government does not necessarily reflect my convictions. 

There are people called into the political arena (Daniel in the Old Testament was one). I pray for them and I pray for righteous decisions to be made in a complicated, broken and often brutal world. My role is to champion Jesus.

The future of evangelical denominations. Which will thrive and which will not

Are denominations a thing of the past and destined to disappear? Certainly many of the main line denominations have been in decline for decades now and while they may have money they have fewer and fewer churches and congregants. Some are already relics and irrelevant although they don't seem to know it yet. Their decline has little to do with where denominations are but much to do with their theological drift and the long ago loss of the Scriptures as truth. Yes they are a thing of the past.

What about denominations in the evangelical world? It depends! Denominations that are primarily about structure, institution and authority are likely to become increasingly irrelevant in today's world where churches can choose their affiliation, if any. On the other hand denominations that are movements driven by vision and common purpose (broadly defined) will not dissappear. Movements grow while calcified structures die.

Here are the characteristics that I believe will define growing denominational movements.

1. They are all about the proclamation of the Gospel and are rooted in the authority of Scripture.
2. They have an ethos that encourage local churches to flourish and minister in their unique ways without control.
3. They welcome innovation, new ways of reaching people and new forms rather than trying to fit people and congregations into a specific structures or philosophy.
4. They guard the theological integrity of the movement through ordination - one of the few structures that do matter.
5. They encourage movements within the movement which naturally occurs as visionary pastors become movement leaders and plant other congregations that look like them - or not.
6. They value the Bride over the brand (denomination) and have Kingdom hearts that work with, bless and champion other evangelical churches and groups for the spread of the Gospel and reaching whole communities. They are non-territorial.
7. They are vision driven rather than structure driven. Structures simply serve mission and vision. Structures in growing denominational movements will be kept to a minimum and only what is helpful to the movement.
8. Their leaders are people with kingdom hearts whose sole purpose is to see the Gospel expand and local churches and their leaders reach their full ministry potential. They lead out of influence rather than authority 99% of the time.
9. Denominational movement leaders are not the experts but are skilled in helping congregations and their leaders ask the right questions and can point people in the right direction when that is desired. 
10. They are constantly guarding against the movement becoming about structure and institution. They guard the missional ethos.

What I am describing are movements, rather than what we typically think of when we hear the word denomination. There will always be movements. Old ones die and new ones emerge. Denominations that are movements rather than institutions are far more likely to thrive and survive in the coming decades. 

Leadership board time outs for reflection

Many church and ministry boards would benefit from a periodic "time out" from their regular agenda to talk to God and themselves about their ministry. Even in good board work we get caught up in the routine which can mask issues or opportunities that would help us clarify, move forward and become healthier. Here a few but powerful questions that can be used in a "time out" session where decisions are not going to be made but rather where dialogue can take place without the press of other business.

1. Where are we seeing God work in significant ways and how might we leverage that work?
2. Has God been speaking to any member of the board about any aspect of our ministry? What are they hearing or sensing from God and do others have the same sense? And then press into this in prayer.
3. How are we doing as a board relationally with each other, in the way we do our work together and in moving the ministry forward in an intentional manner?
4. Are there any elephants that we have allowed to fester - things that we know need to be addressed by that we are afraid to verbalize. What are they? Once named, elephants are simply issues that can be talked about.
5. Have we become complacent in any area of our leadership work? In what areas? How can we do better?

You may have other key questions that can be used to spark conversation but taking time out to simply reflect can spark thinking, debate, prayer and dialogue. Most importantly it may help the ministry significantly move forward.

No time to think

This insightful article from the New York Times talks about the frenetic schedules we keep and hints at why we do so. It is well worth reading and thinking about - if you have the time! The deficit of thinking time is one of the epidemics of our time, and leaders are not exempt!

No Time to Think 

When failure is not failure

Many of us in Christian ministry have very high standards for ourselves, often too high. We are not able to relax in the fact that we cannot do everything to perfection and some things not even in the ballpark. Yet we often live with a sense of failure when something does not go right, if we don't get something right or when others tell us that we simply don't have the skill to do something. 

In real life that is normal. Why do we who are in ministry need to perform to standards that are not normal? Yes we serve the perfect God who always gets it right but that same God gave us specific gifts (Ephesians 2:10), called it good and was content that he wired us for a few things and not all.

In my work with staff of ReachGlobal and other ministries one of the key issues is always helping leaders understand their gifting, play to their strengths and get out of areas where they are not gifted. Often what I get when we talk about the latter areas is a sense of failure on their part. But it is the furthest thing from failure. It is simply recognizing how God did and did not gift them. Half of success is knowing what we are not good at so that we can focus on those things we are good at. 

The most successful people I know are those who can tell you the instant you ask what they are not good at and what they are good at. And rather than a sense of failure on the former they are fulfilled and happy and vow that they will stay in their lane of gifting because that is what God made them for. 

Real failure for many is never admitting that they are not wired for certain things. Success is knowing what we are wired for and playing to our strengths. That is when failure is not real failure but rather success. It took me some time to learn this but when I did it was liberating.

How people respond to organizational change and why it matters

Many are familiar with the bell curve that describes how people respond to change: innovators; early adapters; middle adapters; late adapters and laggards. In my experience in the change process I have another set of suggested categories to watch for. Where individuals are on this continuum from change resistors to evangelists for change makes a great difference when you are considering them for leadership positions either on staff or a board.

Resisters. Like the laggards on the bell curve, these are people who will actively resist change because they are simply wired that way. This is the individual who told me, "T.J., you can bring whatever change you want to the organization but don't expect me to do anything different." No rationale is going to change the mind of a resister.

Protectors. The protector is also highly resistant to change but for another reason. They believe in the status quo, the way things have been done in the past and they will actively try to protect "what is," rather than embrace "what could be." This was the individual who told me and many others that the changes I was bringing to ReachGlobal would destroy the mission. 

Cynics. This group is simply cynical about change unless the proposed change is their idea. They tend to view change as "the flavor of the month" and are often vocal about their opinion. Cynics generally don't trust leaders so proposals brought by leaders are quickly discounted.

Loyal followers. These individuals have a deep commitment to the organization and team. They accept change if there is a good rationale for it. These are staff who say, "Just tell me which direction we are going and I will go with you." 

Idealists. This is an interesting group with an upside and a downside when it comes to change. When creating change one inevitably creates a gap between what is and what should be. Idealists are highly impatient to get to what should be and believe that we should be there now. On the up side, they want the change. On the down side they can become highly critical that we have not arrived. Thus on any day they can be either an ally or a critic.

Realists. This group is supportive of change, realizes that it will take time and process and is generally comfortable with that process. They are helpful in realistically figuring out how to get there and can live with the tension of what is and what should be.

Change agents. These individuals not only support proposed changes but will be active agents in helping the organization get there. They are your front lines in speaking a new language, setting a new course and helping redesign philosophy and strategy.

Evangelists. These are the champions of change who publicly and privately live the change out, help others understand and get there and advocate for the new direction.

In my experience it is the realists, change agents and evangelists who will help drive change while the resisters, protectors and cynics will actively undermine change. Loyal followers and idealists will go with you but will not drive change. 

Think about the implications of these eight ways that people respond to change in terms of who you hire, who you put into leadership and who you ask to serve on a board. One church leader, after hearing these descriptions aptly commented, "no wonder so many boards are stuck." He is right. Resisters, protectors and cynics must be managed but beware of allowing them into positions of leadership and influence! 

Assumptions and facts: Get them in the correct order

It is easy to draw assumptions and even easier to draw bad assumptions based on either a lack of facts or selective facts. It is human nature to make assumptions quickly about people or situations. Mature individuals, however are circumspect, think grey and get the relevant facts before drawing any conclusions.

Think about this: How often have you heard something and drawn negative conclusions about an individual or organization without knowing the full story? Why is it that we are far more likely to draw a negative rather than a positive conclusion? And how often have you been wrong when you heard "the rest of the story?"

Good counselors know this and when one party comes in to complain about the other they resist the temptation to believe everything they hear as the full story. It is rarely the full story and without all the facts, impossible to know.

I like to practice the art of thinking grey, keeping an open mind, when I am given one sided facts. If it matters to me I will make the necessary inquiry to ascertain their veracity which is usually a personal conversation with someone. If it does not matter or pertain to me I simply recognize that I don't know the full details and don't desire or need to know them.

Correct assumptions come from knowing the facts first. Incorrect assumptions come from getting facts and assumptions in the wrong order. Resist the temptation as incomplete or wrong facts will lead to the wrong conclusion.

A spam filter for the mind

Our minds are bombarded daily by thousands of messages, many of which are at direct odds with the truth and purity of God. And they matter because unfiltered crud corrodes our thinking, dulls our conscience and small bits at a time can replace truth with error. No matter how good our theology or precise our doctrine, unless we are vigilant with what and how we process all of those messages we are at risk. 

Paul makes this point in 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 when he writes, "4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Obviously the divine power has to do with the Holy Spirit within us which has the power to demolish strongholds (of the enemy). This includes strongholds in our own lives whatever they may be that set themselves up against the truth of God. But that takes vigilance and Paul's next statement speaks to that: "and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Think about this. Our days are made up of a series of thoughts, messages, ideas, temptations, attitudes - all that moves through our brains. Paul says that he pays attention to the information traveling through his mind in order to take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ, or to synthesize it in light of what God has to say.

We are not at the mercy of the messages that come our way. The Holy Spirit will help us if we ask to be aware of those messages and where they differ from the truth of God or the holiness of God. We have the ability to take every thought captive if we live with an awareness of the Holy Spirit and choose to think critically.  

Five current dangers to global missions

It is ironic that in the very day when it is possible to reach more people more quickly with the Gospel that there are significant dangers to the mission enterprise, especially from the Western world. These dangers may well significantly decrease the Western church's influence globally, a position that they have led for many years.

What are these dangers?

First, it is increasingly hard for many missionaries to raise their support. Missions is not cheap nor should we expect it to be. There is a cost associated with sending people globally to share the good news. Ironically, the costs are really no different than many of our domestic ministry efforts but our focus is so much on what serves us (our local church) that we are less likely to support ministry efforts further away and for which we get no direct benefit. 

Ironically, as many churches have reduced support for global missions, many of their parishioners have increased their support for missions at the expense of the general budgets because of their view of misplaced priorities.  Having said that it is also true that many congregations need to balance their overseas missions with local mission efforts. Acts 1:8 talks about Jerusalem (our city), Judea (our greater area), Samaria (the people nearby who are not like us) and the uttermost parts of the earth. Missions is walking across the street as well as crossing an ocean.

Second, many evangelicals don't really believe that lost people are truly lost and will spend eternity in hell. We have not done a good job of teaching the eternal realities of a relationship with God and the consequences of the lack of that eternal relationship. Scriptures are clear: People who don't know Jesus spend eternity without him and the name for that awful place is hell. Unless we are compelled to be God's ambassadors as Paul was (2 Corinthians 5:11-21) we will not value the mission enterprise highly.

Third, many churches have redefined missions in terms of humanitarian work rather than meeting the needs of the heart as well. Clean water, orphan care, poverty alleviation and concerns for sex trafficking are very important issues but solving these will not solve the eternal issue that Jesus came to solve which is a relationship with the living God who gives life and abundant life. 

All of our ministry should be holistic as Jesus's ministry was - he cared about the whole person. But he never cared about the whole person at the expense of hearts that needed forgiveness and wholeness. Often, compassion ministries will open the door for hearts to hear the good news but the first without the second is not missions.

Fourth, many ask if missions is simply not relevant in our day since there are many believers around the world. Let's just send money to national missionaries and let them do the rest. Reread the Great Commission in Matthew 28. It was a command to go to all the nations and make disciples until the end of the age. That is, until Christ returns. The job of missionaries is changing - from being primarily doers to being primarily equippers and partners with nationals globally but the need to go has not changed. Nor has the Great Commission been modified. 

Fifth, the world is increasingly seen as dangerous. So was the world in Paul's day at least in its response to the Gospel and those who bore the good news. The world has always been hostile to the Gospel. I am currently reading a history of Congo and the price that missionaries paid even in the past two centuries in that country. Yet much of the country knows Jesus because of those who were willing to live with the privations of life there and who were willing to risk their lives as well. If we only took the Gospel to places where the State Department has no travel warnings it would be a small number of countries indeed. Jesus gave his life for us. Are we willing to take risks for Him?

I am not pessimistic about missions at least in many quarters. Our own agency has the highest numbers of missionaries it has ever had for which I rejoice. At the same time I am aware that without vigilance our traditionally high value on missions can wane and that would be a great tragedy. 

Avarice

av·a·rice

Extreme greed for wealth or material gain

Whenever I used a word like this at our dinner table as my kids grew up they would say, "Dad, that is a big word." And it is a big word. In fact, it is one of the 7 deadly sins of the Catholic church.

Given the number of email notices I receive every day of lotteries I have won, inheritances I am named in and special deals where I can share in millions of profits I have to assume that there is a ready audience that is moved by avarice. (To my IT guru, Jason - how come this stuff gets through my spam filter?)

Those in Christian ministry are not immune to avarice. In fact, we often rub shoulders with those who may have much more than we do (ironically, no matter what our station in life there is always someone who has much more than we do so we might as well get over it). Entitlement is easy to nurture. After all we work hard, we have sacrificed much (our thinking), and we deserve (whatever it is).

Avarice is based on two false premises. The first is that life is about me. Why would I have greed for wealth or material gain except that I feel that life is somehow about me? The second is that material wealth is a source of happiness - the opposite of what we preach and intellectually know to be true. The wealthiest Christ followers I rub shoulders with know all too well that life is not about them which is why they are extremely generous with their wealth. They also know that wealth does not equal happiness. They have wealth but their happiness and joy comes from Jesus alone. Wealth cannot address any of the ultimate questions or challenges of life. In fact, the burden of wealth can create its own challenges.

The Apostle Paul ministered to people of wealth and influence as well as those who were poor and on the margins of society. He writes to the Philippians that "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:11-13)."

Notice that Paul twice uses the verb "learned." Eliminating avarice and becoming content is something that is not normal to our lives. It is the work of the Holy Spirit and it is a learned behavior. If Paul had to learn this we do as well.

Life is about Jesus and He is the ultimate provider. Don't allow avarice to cloud your happiness.

As you get older, what are you getting better at?

What are you really and truly good at? And as you get older are you getting better at what you are truly good at?

This is a matter of focus. Where we shine is a sign of how God make and wired us (Ephesians 2:10). So finding ways to focus on those areas makes all the sense in the world.

I write a blog, and books, because God made me to write among a few other things. The more I do it the better I become (on most days). If I ignored it, or allowed other things to crowd it out it would not develop as it could.

Generally we shine at two or three things. And we feel God's smile when we do those things. We know we are in our lane and we are filled and satisfied. Knowing those things and finding ways to use those gifts allows us to hone them and grow them.

What are you truly good at? Are you taking the time to develop those gifts or does the busyness of life crowd them out? Getting better at what God made us for is part of the stewardship of our lives.

And it is satisfying to our soul. It is how God made us.

The loss of hospitality and deep relationships

We are in the process of looking for a flat/condo after living in our small twin home for 28  years. Using a nifty program I get regular updates for all condos for sale in the Twin Cities. Not having been in the housing market for a long time, I am noticing the wonderful kitchens, updated bathrooms, and all the improvements that have been made in the past three decades.

But one thing stands out in a huge way. The living room areas are small and designed in a way that allows for a couch and a few chairs that in almost every instance face a wall with fireplace and television. 

Now granted, these flats - the ones I am looking at are not large, they are 1,300 to 2,000 square feet. But, looking at the living room space it is clear that they are not meant for entertaining or having friends over, nor for individuals to be talking to one another but for sitting and watching TV. In other words, little hospitality or conversation (even with spouses) but TV time. In many ways it is a metaphor for our age. Now I also understand that places like Starbucks or the local coffee shop may be the new place for gathering with friends, but still something is lost when people are not let into our own space - our home.

I am not a television prude and I love fireplaces. But I am committed to relationships and hospitality, both deeply Christian values and it sparked a question in my mind about whether we as a culture are losing those values. How we use our spaces says something about how we live and what we value. Many of the flats I have looked are also in the city where unfortunately life is more anonymous though it need not be. 

Our life with Jesus is a relationship. Our life with others is a relationship. Influence and friendships come from relationship. The deepest and most meaningful things in life all stem from relationship. In the busyness of life today, many are too consumed with their own stuff for relationships. But life is about relationships.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The ministry machine: do you run your organization or does it run you?

Has the industrial age changed our ministries in ways that are problematic? Read this intriguing article from Holy Soup. It is worth thinking about. 

The Ministry Machine

For those of us in the business of communicating: Ten tips for better slide decks

The following article on preparing great slide show presentations is worth the read for those of us who spend our lives communicating.

Ten tips for better slide decks

Courtesy of the TED Blog

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Ten marks of a united church leadership board

United boards are a critical part of the health of a congregation since the congregation will often reflect the health or dishealth of its board. Consider these marks of a united board and think about your own board. 

One: There is absolute freedom to bring one's opinion and view to the table. Unity does not mean we think alike. In fact, many boards that look unified because there is not disagreement are not unified at all. There simply is not the safety to be honest and elephants multiply.

Two: There is deep respect for one another and for differing points of view. Respect goes to how we treat each other and interact with one another. 

Three: Jesus is central. If Jesus is not central to all of our planning and discussions you are left with competing agendas of what the church is or should be. The church is about Jesus and He is the unifying factor for any church board.

Four: Once decisions are made all will support that decision outside the board room. Unity is a choice and it must be made over and over as we submit to the will of the majority. The board always speaks with one unified voice. 

Five: When tempers flare, forgiveness is asked for and received quickly. Unity does not mean that we cannot strongly differ. It does mean that we keep very short accounts.

Six: Prayer is central to the decision making process. If Jesus is central to all we do, talking to Him before we make decisions is central to how we proceed. Boards that pray together are far more unified than those who don't. Jesus unifies them.

Seven: Factions are called out. Divided boards are a recipe for a divided congregation. Divisions on the board that become apparent need to be called out and repented of. If not, they become permanent fixtures on the board.

Eight: There are no elephants. Many times we avoid hard subjects because we are afraid of conflict. Unresolved issues are even more dangerous than conflict. If there are elephants, name them.

Nine: Ego's are checked at the door. If it is about Jesus it is not about me or getting my way. Humility is required for a unified board. Together we seek God's way not our way.

Ten: Personal transparency is cultivated. Individuals who can be transparent about their personal lives are far more able to be honest and candid about ministry issues. As we pray for one another we get to know one another and that breeds respect and a desire to work together. If it's all business it is not a church board.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Remembering what the gospel is all about

When I saw this picture from our team in Rome it instantly reminded me of what Jesus does for each of us. He liberates us from our past, gives us a vision for our future, brings us life, joy, purpose and meaning. If a picture can say it better than any words, this one does! It says freedom, inexpressible joy, liberation, new life, and abundant LIFE. It is the defeat of the one who robs us of life and a victory for the One who gives life in all of its abundance - Jesus! (John 10:10). 

In our service of Jesus, never forget that the Good News is all about the life change and liberation that Jesus brings, one life at a time. The family above has been finding that liberation one at a time over a period of years. If you have family members who don't know Jesus, don't give up. The same with friends, and colleagues and neighbors. When the Holy Spirit breaks through everything changes. Everything!

Take a moment and think back to your experience when the Holy Spirit broke through in your life and then remember that is what He desired for everyone. Celebrate His work in your life and pray for those who need it in theirs.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

How accessible should those in ministry be to all those who want their attention or help?

For those in full time ministry (and others) there is the ongoing challenge of our availability to the many who want our attention or help. Most go into ministry because they have a deep love for God and people and the people needs are many. Where do we draw the line on our availability? What boundaries do we set so that our own health is not compromised? This is especially an issue for pastors.

Let's start with the proposition that there are always more needs than we can meet. That means there are limits to our ability to help. Too often, however, the only thing that keeps us from doing more is that we are so exhausted that we cannot. At some point physical or emotional exhaustion kicks in and forces us to back off but that is already an unhealthy place to be. The more we bump up against physical or emotional limits the greater our own risk of being the one in need! 

How do we know when too much is too much? All of our circumstances are different but let me suggest four questions that can help us evaluate when we need to back off.

When my availability to others keeps me from getting the rest and refreshment I need or the time with Jesus I need, it is too much! Running on empty is not a healthy place to be for any period of time. Only healthy people can help others and when our own health is in jeopardy we are too available and need to back off. If my ministry for Jesus detracts from my time with Jesus, we have our priorities askew, and many in ministry fall into that trap.

When my availability to others starts to negatively impact my marriage and family life, it is too much! On one of our many vacations to Montana my kids threatened to throw my cell phone in the Gallatin River if I took one more call (yep I was fishing at the time). They were tired of me doing work on our family vacation. Our marriages and our families are our first priority and if we start to compromise them to help others we are in dangerous territory.

When my availability to others takes me away from those key things that God has called me to do, it is too much! I know that God has called me to pay attention to certain priorities in life and ministry. It is easy to allow those things to slide because of the many needs around us but it is also a mistake. Remember, we are not the answer to all of the problems people have. There are others who can help and we have limited time and energy. If my life or ministry priorities are compromised by the time I make myself available to others (which could consume all of my time) I have not put appropriate boundaries around myself.

When my availability to others creates within me a sense of anger or frustration, it is too much! Ironically, when we make ourselves too available because we like to help people we start to become irritated by those very people: not because they are irritating but because we have reached our own emotional limits and we cannot handle giving more time. Whenever I find myself frustrated or angry that I am being imposed on I know that it is my issue and that I need refreshment and rest myself. 

Boundaries matter. If you are married and in ministry, ask your spouse how they would answer these four questions. They will be more objective than we will be.

Christians must not obscure the gospel by seeing other issues as more important.

A great article by Ed Stetzer on keeping the Gospel central in our churches

Beware of Obscurantism

Overcoming the fear that makes for cautious ministry

I meet a lot of ministry staff who tell me that their leader lives with fear. Fear that something may go wrong; fear of criticism from others, fear that they will not look good (there are many perfectionist leaders). That fear makes them cautious and their caution keeps them from trying new things or allowing their staff to do the same. 

Fear is a symptom of insecurity! If you live with fear it is because you are an insecure leader and there are many reasons why we might live with insecurity. But it is also a very unhealthy place from which to lead for insecurity is a form of bondage to our or someone else's expectations. Or our imagined expectations of others.

Here is a great question to ask when fearful of trying something new. What is the worst possible outcome that could occur? Someone might disagree and be upset? Someone will get upset at any major change! It might go wrong? Things go wrong routinely so get over it! That I might look bad? That is ego speaking, not a healthy person who lives with a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude! 

Another question: If this idea works, what could it do to add depth to our ministry endeavors? Without new ideas and innovation, the world does not move forward. In fact in their absence the world stagnates and is diminished. If you always do what you always did you always get what you always got. No new endeavor is possible without risk but without risk no innovation occurs. Ever!

Most ministries do not lack new ideas. Rather they lack leaders who will allow those ideas to be tried and tested. And tweaking is not the answer: Tweaking is fear based change. One can tweak endlessly and never get to the kind of ministry breakthroughs that you desire. Where ministries have gone stale it almost always includes an element of fear that has kept them from trying new things. Fear drives away innovation while a willingness to risk embraces it.

Who are your true friends? Ten markers

That is an interesting question in a day when friendships are often shallow, fleeting, easily broken or exist with an agenda of personal gain. Even in the church friendships prove to be fragile and often break with church disagreements. As you think about these markers of true friendship consider who your true friends are and to whom you are a true friend.

True friends:

• Are always there to help in a time of need
• Accept you for who you are, warts and all
• Allow you to have different opinions than they do
• Will tell you the truth but in a way that is honoring and gentle
• Do not allow side issues to derail the friendship
• Are disclosing about the struggles they have
• Pray for you
• Make it a priority to be together when that is possible
• Encourage you always
• Forgive shortcomings easily

All of us are hungry for true friendships and they are not easy to find. In our home we talk about "friends for life." Those with whom we make a life long investment in regardless of the miles that may separate us. And with Skype, email and the phone, one can stay in touch. True friendships easily transcend the miles.

Remember that friendships are investments. Some of the most precious investments we will ever have. 

How do local churches compete with all the ministry non-profits looking for funds?

This is a question that concerns many pastors and church boards. My answer is very simple: You don't compete! You don't need to. Before I share some practical suggestions let's look at some realities of how and where people give.

Many pastors teach storehouse tithing or giving. In other words, the tithe belongs to the local church (see Malachi 3 as a common text) and anything over a tithe is fair game for any ministry. The problem with this is twofold. First it assumes that the tithe is the standard in the New Testament. I would suggest it is not. The New Testament standard is generosity in our giving to God's work (2 Corinthians 8-9, 1 Timothy 6:17-19). It is a lifestyle of generosity in all respects including giving.

In addition, and many pastors don't get this, the most wealthy congregants are often not going to give ten percent of their giving to the local church because it would overwhelm the budget and creates dependencies on that donor. I suspect that on the issue of storehouse giving, pastors preach it and congregants largely ignore it.

I do, however have four suggestions for pastors and church leaders. The first is to communicate the central place that the local church plays in God's economy and plan for the world. Every local church is a kingdom outpost from which God intends to reach the world. God specifically chose and designed the local church as his instrument to reach the world rather than para church ministries which should serve the local church in its mission. The better my understanding of the central role of the church, the more likely I am to be generous in my giving to it.

Second, talk vision rather than financial need. Giving flows toward vision! And here is a critical point. If your congregation has significant vision for what they believe God wants to do in and through them and if they are seeing God work on a regular basis, giving will come. Not because you have a mortgage or salaries to pay but because you have a vision for your congregation, community and world. Giving flows toward vision!

Many churches suffer from chronic monetary shortages not because the resources are not there but because the vision is not there. And, I fully believe that God always provides for what He has called us to do. When the funds don't come in it is usually because our vision is too small or we are doing something God has not called us to do.

The last point leads me to a caution. If the vision we are raising money for is the vision of an individual such as the pastor or influential leader rather than the vision of the leaders and congregation it will often suffer. The church is not a vehicle for us to see our individual dreams realized but to see a corporate mission accomplished. When giving goes down be aware that it may mean that people are voting with their pocket book and have not bought into a shared vision. Often when giving goes down we put additional pressure on people to give when in reality we ought to work harder on a shared vision.

Putting pressure on people to give often has the opposite effect. We don't like to feel manipulated or pushed. Encouragement is great, pressure is counter productive.

Third, thank those whose spiritual gift is giving. Do it appropriately but thank them. Other ministries do. And we thank those who use other gifts in the body, why not this one? Let them know how their generosity is impacting the mission and vision of the church for the cause of Jesus.

Finally, here is something to consider. We are told by Paul to be content with what God gives us. Can that also apply to congregations? Do we believe that He provides us with what is necessary to do what He as actually called us to do? Can we live within our means as a congregation as we teach families and individuals to do? Something to think about.

The difference between resolve and pushiness in leadership

Leaders are by definition people with resolve. They believe that a certain path is the right path and will seek to move other leaders and the organization down that path. Along they way, they are not intimidated by barriers but seek to find ways to resolve those barriers. 

Some leaders, however, are pushy and sometimes even bully or intimidate others to get their way. That is resolve but it is usually a personal agenda rather than a corporate agenda and in the end hurts our cause more than it helps. Here are some downsides of being pushy to get our way.

First, people may accede to us because we have worn them down but that does not mean that we have buy in. We won the war of getting our way but probably lost valuable leadership coinage in how we did it. Assent is not the same as support.

Second, if things go south after we have pushed people to accept our agenda, they will not be helping pick up the pieces. Why should they? It was not their agenda but ours. In fact, they are liable to think we pretty much got what they expected!

Third, when there is not corporate buy in by the key stakeholders we are operating alone and autonomously. When pastors make key decisions without the support of their board or senior staff, for instance, they are walking alone. Being alone is dangerous as we are likely to overlook unintended consequences which would have become evident if a larger group was involved in the decision.

Healthy resolve comes out of conviction of a healthy direction for our team or organization. However, it is also tested for support. There have been times when I suggested key directional moves when my senior team was not ready for what seemed a radical decision. I chose to back off, keep in dialogue and try again when the timing was right - and we were able to move forward. In some cases not everything went as planned and we learned lessons along the way and tried again. The key thing was that I had the support of those who needed to buy in so I was not left hanging on my own.

I have met some pushy leaders. They got what they wanted for a period of time but when push came to shove, they were abandoned by those around them who felt used rather than engaged. Team members eventually concluded that it was not healthy resolve but pushiness and manipulation that allowed their leader to get his/her way and that in failing to engage them (and marginalizing them when they disagreed) it was more about a personal than a corporate agenda.

Resolve is healthy. Being pushy and manipulative is not. Nor does it work in the long run.

The one word that sums up all of life and ministry

That word is "Jesus."

So simple, so central and so core to everything we are and do and yet so easy to forget. 

I have my plans for the day. I have plans for my life. I have plans for the ministry I lead. But the one thing I can never forget is that it is not about me. Nor is it about the ministry I am part of. All of life is about Jesus. 

Which raises a question. Are my plans His plans? Have I talked deeply with Him about my day? Am I keeping Him central to all that I do and think and say? Is it possible that there are many days that I live out my plan but forget who is central to that plan?

For me the last two weeks have been discouraging and frustrating. I was supposed to be in Montana working on a book about Jesus and His plan for our world. Instead I am recovering from a third ICU stay for severe pneumonia and have yet to add one word to the manuscript. 

My plans were not His plans. And yet, he was amazingly gracious once again in healing me. And so I am again reminded that life is not about me but about Him. As I was reminded of this, it changed my perspective on the upcoming day. All of life and all of today is about Him. If today I can focus on Him my day will be complete whether or not I add a word to the manuscript. In fact, He writes the manuscript of life, not us. And His manuscript is perfect and without errors.

Don't forget today who life is about: It is all about Jesus.

Influencing the next generation of Christian leaders

I have a deep passion for influencing the next generation of Christian leaders. In fact, this will likely be my most significant legacy as it is an investment in the future of God's leaders and His Kingdom. When we invest in the next generation we multiply our influence in ways that we could never imagine. It is what Jesus did with the disciples and what Paul did throughout his ministry career. I fear that the emphasis on personal success today often detracts from a larger vision of God's success which will only be accomplished as each new generation of leaders is raised up.

In influencing the next generation I look for a specific kind of person, starting with those who demonstrate a deep love for God and a deep personal humility. They know that life is not about them and they are willing to dialogue about their lives, motives, hearts, dreams and practices. One of those I periodically mentor comes to our meetings with a list of questions to discuss. He is like a sponge as we talk through the list and explore possible solutions. There is no defensiveness on his part and he is willing to talk about hard things. Those who think they have it all together are not worth my time as they are not ready like the individual above to dialogue, think and consider.

I also look for those who are actively doing something with their faith. They are not about the theoretical but the practical. They may be in secular employment or ministry but their motivation is to live out the Kingdom life in their context. It is those who are grappling with real life questions that come out of real life ministry whom I am most interested in. 

What I do not care about is what denominational tribe they come from or what stream of evangelicalism. In fact, I find it deeply rewarding to bless those who come from different tribes and different streams than mine. I learn much in the process and I am constantly reminded of the colorful mosaic that makes up the family of God. There will be ONE family in heaven and I want to practice that today. It develops in me a kingdom heart and a larger vision for what God is up to and wants to accomplish.

Along the way I have discovered that the more I am willing to give myself away the greater my heart grows for those things that God cares about. The truth is that I may get more out of these mentoring relationships than the other individual. If you are not currently giving yourself away to the next generation I would ask why?  

Have a good leader? Encourage them!

Working for a healthy, empowering leader is not something we should take for granted. Leadership is like health: You don't realize how important it is until you don't have it! Never take good leadership for granted because it is not as common as we might wish.

If you work for a healthy and empowering leader, consider telling them what it is about their leadership style that you appreciate. Be specific and genuine. Not only will you encourage them but you will reinforce in their thinking those characteristics that are important to their leadership. What we take for granted in a healthy leader may not be the case with a future leader.

If your organization has an ethos of healthy leaders down through the ranks it is because a senior leader and his/her team has created a culture of health and empowerment. This never happens accidentally but is created intentionally, often at significant cost to senior leadership whose commitments are often a threat to the status quo.

When I am with an organization to speak or consult and I find a staff that is happy, empowered and treated well I will specifically mention this to the senior leader. I know they paid a price and worked hard to create a healthy culture. I want to encourage them in that journey. If you work for one of those, thank them, encourage them and pray for them.

The folly of excuses

Have you noticed that almost no one takes responsibility for bad decisions or failures today? From the White House briefing room where everything is explained away, to our own lives where it is easy to say "It was not my fault," there is a dearth of those who take responsibility when something goes wrong. Witness the hearings on Capital Hill regarding the IRS or the roll out of Obama care where absolutely no one takes any personal responsibility but shifts the blame to others. Unfortunately it also happens in ministry organizations as well.

Common dodges of responsibility include:

• I didn't make the decision
• I was not informed
• I would have done things differently
• This is obviously spiritual warfare
• If person x had done their job right, this never would have happened
• It was a decision of the board

It is all quite foolish! And those around us recognize our excuses for what they are. It is also foolish because it robs us of certain important things.

It robs us of our integrity! Excuses are nothing less than a dodging of responsibility and to put the blame on others when we are responsible, in part or in whole is to lie. And those around us see the lie for what it is. The reason we would dodge responsibility is our pride. Ironically when we own up to what happened, we gain respect.

It robs us our leadership capital. Leaders take responsibility for what happens on their watch. The best leaders admit when things went south and take responsibility for it even if they were not personally responsible. They don't gloss or dodge. They also work quickly to fix it.

It robs us of an opportunity to learn and grow. Every failure is an opportunity to do something better and address something in our thinking or our system that caused that failure. When we dodge and gloss we effectively lose that opportunity because rather than facing the issue and fixing it we dodge the issue and therefore the opportunity to learn from it.

There is something deeply refreshing about men and women who make mistakes and are up front in admitting it. We are after all human! Admission is a sign of humility while excuses are a sign of foolish pride. Excuses started immediately after sin entered the garden as Adam blames Eve and Eve blames the serpent. Excuses are a sign of our sinful nature while taking responsibility is a sign of spiritual maturity. The former robs while the latter builds character.

Three groups of people I try to keep a distance from

To the extent that we have choices about who we work or spend time with there are three groups of individuals that I am generally wary about - and keep  my distance from. And, I would not choose to have them as colleagues or staff - if they were unable to address their issues.

Those who leave a trail of hurt or wounded people behind them. These can be highly successful people but their ambition and drive cause them to use people to achieve their ends even when it ends up hurting those very people. When there is a trail of bodies behind an individual, no matter how successful they are, there is a fatal flaw that does not reflect Jesus.

Those who are passive aggressive in their behavior. This can be crazy making because to your face these individuals are agreeable but behind your back and with others they can be be doing just the opposite. But because the behavior is not up front and honest it can be hard to pin down. The behavior is a form of dishonesty and double dealing that hurts the team or organization.

Those with significant hubris. Unchecked egos cause individuals to make selfish decisions that are primarily about them rather than the organization or team. Since healthy teams are built on the good of the whole unchecked pride is incompatible with team health. Whenever it is more about us than the mission we have a serious problem. Prideful people usually don't treat others well as life is about them.

It is not unusual for leaders to need to address these kinds of behaviors. To the extent that I can avoid them I do. I don't need the drama! 

Leaders and the fruit of the Spirit

Why is it that there seem to be so many leaders in the ministry world who are pushy, pugnacious, self-centered, unkind in their comments and generally not nice people to work for? And, while they want staff to serve them they often do not serve staff and in not a few instances create toxic workplaces for those below themselves. Sometimes, their behaviors are so extreme that they make headlines in CT and other publications. The number of dysfunctional Christian leaders seems out of proportion to the general public. There I have said it!

Juxtaposed to these behaviors are the Fruit of the Spirit which are to characterize all believer's lives and one would assume an even higher standard for those who are in ministry leadership, including church board members: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, gentleness and self control (Ephesians 5:22). It is interesting that the last descriptor listed is "self control" which means that our impulses are kept in check whether it is attitude, treatment of others, use of power, our words or our demeanor.

My sense is that we pay far too little attention to our inner life as leaders which would include the nurturing of the behaviors that reflect the Holy Spirit rather than our own ambitions or inadvertently taking on the leadership methodology of the world around us. Thus what we espouse and how we lead are often in conflict with one another. 

It is sad for me to see the number of visits to blogs on dysfunctional leaders, toxic workplaces and abusive behaviors. Since my readership is largely from the evangelical world that says something about what people struggle with in terms of their own leaders. My conclusion is that leaders whose behaviors don't reflect the fruit of the Spirit should not be in ministry leadership roles. Sadly if they can "produce" they keep ending up in such roles. 

For my fellow leaders, a regular check on how we are doing against the Spirit's grid is an important exercise. We also might become happier and healthier in the process.

Is your denomination slowly committing suicide? A must read from Church leaders.com

A most insightful article from George Bullard on denominations today.

Is your denomination slowly committing suicide?