What would happen if we helped Christ followers think of themselves as kingdom entrepreneurs? That is like entrepreneurs in the market place who are always looking for new opportunities. Like them we should be training those entrusted to us in the church to always be looking for new opportunities to bring Jesus into the picture with those around us.
In many ways, our emphasis on programming in the church and then the need to staff that programming has trained people to be passive in the ministry department, waiting to be invited or told about the role they should play. Not only are these opportunities often not in the sweet spot of those asked but it also centers much of the ministry inside the church rather than in the world where we are called to have major influence.
The church is the most viral organization on the face of the earth. There are believers in every corner of the world, in every social strata, in every profession (well almost on that one). If each of us, scattered across the landscape were to see ourselves as a kingdom entrepreneur placed there directly by Jesus in order to make his reputation great and his name well known who knows how much influence the church would once again have!
It also places the responsibility on those who have been given it: Each of us (Ephesians 2:10). And it challenges us to live out our calling in unique and creative ways always consistent with how God uniquely, handcrafted us for that very purpose. And there is no age limit here, young or mature. All of us can be kingdom entrepreneurs. It is also deeply consistent with the parable of the talents where each one given a sum of money by the master going on a trip was expected to find ways to multiply that sum in a creative way.
What is the church missing today? In many cases it is people who think and act like kingdom entrepreneurs where everyone is in the game with and for Jesus.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Ten ways to create unnecessary chaos in relationships
In recent days I have had my share of brushing up against chaotic and conflictual relationships between individuals or groups. What I have seen is messy, probably unnecessary and certainly painful but it got me thinking of the many ways that we can create unnecessary and painful chaos in relationships.
One. Triangulate with others instead of going to the source. When I share my issues about another person with anyone other than that person, I have brought them into my issue and often into an alliance with me against others. When you think about that, how crazy is that! It does not solve the problem but rather enlarges the circle of those who now have problems but who cannot solve them because their problem is a problem by proxy (actually our problem) but not theirs.
Two: Copy emails about conflictual situations to those who are not involved. Of course once you do that they are now involved and often others get inadvertently roped in. Why do we copy emails to people who have not business getting them? It is usually a power play or a way to bring in others to "our side" and it certainly enlarges the circle of mistrust, doubt and information.
Three: Sharing second or third hand information. Second hand information is not usually real information. At least it is often highly suspect because no matter what if it is second hand we don't know all the facts but just some of the facts. We ought not share what we don't know about another person's experience.
Four: Going on a crusade against another individual or group. There are people who believe that they need to solve problems that they are not in a position to solve but they go on a crusade to do so anyway. I am not talking about a "whistle blower" situation but especially in Christian circles, taking matters into our own hands to take care of situations that are more likely the purview of a church or ministry board to deal with. There are many dysfunctional situations I may know about but do nothing about because they are not my purview to solve.
Five: Planting seeds of distrust against another by sharing gossip or even "facts" that they can do nothing about. If people need to know, the right people need to know, not the wrong people. Too often we don't discriminate on that score.
Six; Ignoring issues that we are in a place to deal with and the responsible person. Often, leaders who are conflict adverse don't deal with issues they know are problematic and therefore allow the dysfunctions to spill over among others. This is the source of much pain in the local church when leaders choose not to confront behaviors that are problematic.
Seven: Not telling people the truth. Truth should be shared graciously and only with the right people but if we have issues we need to share those issues in the right way and at the right time. Then we need to leave those issues with those who are in a position and who have the responsibility to do something about it. What they do is not my responsibility. Being honest with them is.
Eight: Demonize those who disagree with you or who are the objects of your unhappiness. It happens all the time in Christian circles. We divide the world into good people and bad people, righteous and unrighteous. Is life that easy? and which group would we be in? In this world view we are in whatever group someone else puts us in. Life is not that easy. Good and Godly people can do and say unfortunate things but it does not make them worthy of demonization. We ought to be happy that Jesus does not see us that way.
Nine: Taking up someone else's issue as ours. Another form of triangulation. Your issues are yours and mine are mine. I can give you counsel or take your counsel but the issues are still either yours or mine. When I take up your issue, I get involve in conflict that is not my own. I am always ready to mediate conflict but I do not want to get involved in the issues of others that I cannot solve.
Ten: Being unwilling to be a third party to solve relational difficulties. "Blessed are the peacemakers" says Jesus. What would happen if every time we heard there was conflict we offered our services to seek to resolve the conflict rather than get involved in the conflict itself. The world would be a different place.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
One. Triangulate with others instead of going to the source. When I share my issues about another person with anyone other than that person, I have brought them into my issue and often into an alliance with me against others. When you think about that, how crazy is that! It does not solve the problem but rather enlarges the circle of those who now have problems but who cannot solve them because their problem is a problem by proxy (actually our problem) but not theirs.
Two: Copy emails about conflictual situations to those who are not involved. Of course once you do that they are now involved and often others get inadvertently roped in. Why do we copy emails to people who have not business getting them? It is usually a power play or a way to bring in others to "our side" and it certainly enlarges the circle of mistrust, doubt and information.
Three: Sharing second or third hand information. Second hand information is not usually real information. At least it is often highly suspect because no matter what if it is second hand we don't know all the facts but just some of the facts. We ought not share what we don't know about another person's experience.
Four: Going on a crusade against another individual or group. There are people who believe that they need to solve problems that they are not in a position to solve but they go on a crusade to do so anyway. I am not talking about a "whistle blower" situation but especially in Christian circles, taking matters into our own hands to take care of situations that are more likely the purview of a church or ministry board to deal with. There are many dysfunctional situations I may know about but do nothing about because they are not my purview to solve.
Five: Planting seeds of distrust against another by sharing gossip or even "facts" that they can do nothing about. If people need to know, the right people need to know, not the wrong people. Too often we don't discriminate on that score.
Six; Ignoring issues that we are in a place to deal with and the responsible person. Often, leaders who are conflict adverse don't deal with issues they know are problematic and therefore allow the dysfunctions to spill over among others. This is the source of much pain in the local church when leaders choose not to confront behaviors that are problematic.
Seven: Not telling people the truth. Truth should be shared graciously and only with the right people but if we have issues we need to share those issues in the right way and at the right time. Then we need to leave those issues with those who are in a position and who have the responsibility to do something about it. What they do is not my responsibility. Being honest with them is.
Eight: Demonize those who disagree with you or who are the objects of your unhappiness. It happens all the time in Christian circles. We divide the world into good people and bad people, righteous and unrighteous. Is life that easy? and which group would we be in? In this world view we are in whatever group someone else puts us in. Life is not that easy. Good and Godly people can do and say unfortunate things but it does not make them worthy of demonization. We ought to be happy that Jesus does not see us that way.
Nine: Taking up someone else's issue as ours. Another form of triangulation. Your issues are yours and mine are mine. I can give you counsel or take your counsel but the issues are still either yours or mine. When I take up your issue, I get involve in conflict that is not my own. I am always ready to mediate conflict but I do not want to get involved in the issues of others that I cannot solve.
Ten: Being unwilling to be a third party to solve relational difficulties. "Blessed are the peacemakers" says Jesus. What would happen if every time we heard there was conflict we offered our services to seek to resolve the conflict rather than get involved in the conflict itself. The world would be a different place.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Friday, January 16, 2015
Facts, gossip, innuendo and assumptions
There is a big difference between facts, gossip, innuendo and assumptions. The facts can be verified. The other three are hearsay and often if not usually wrong. Yet it is very easy to assume that the latter three are "facts" and many do.
I have seen a number of situations recently where there was circulation of information that was heavy on gossip, innuendo and assumptions but the facts were in short supply. Why? Because those circulating the information did not have first hand information - only what they had heard or assumptions they had made. Or, they had taken what they heard and made assumptions about motives and what the "truth" was.
Such is the destruction of many relationships and the root of much conflict in organizations and churches. Not truth that we are sure of but rather gossip, innuendo and assumptions that "we are sure of" and feel free to share with others. Who wins? Not Jesus who is full of grace and truth but the Evil One who is the father of all lies.
Even facts can be interpreted wrongly if we assume wrong motives. All facts are suspect if we assume there is a bad agenda behind them. Again, we must be careful as to what motivation we attribute because it is very hard to judge motivations. We can make statements about behaviors but rarely about the motivations behind the behaviors.
All of us ought to be wary of information that we don't know to be true. And even then we ought to be wary of judging the motivations behind the "facts." If we get either wrong we may well be playing into the hand of the Evil One.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
I have seen a number of situations recently where there was circulation of information that was heavy on gossip, innuendo and assumptions but the facts were in short supply. Why? Because those circulating the information did not have first hand information - only what they had heard or assumptions they had made. Or, they had taken what they heard and made assumptions about motives and what the "truth" was.
Such is the destruction of many relationships and the root of much conflict in organizations and churches. Not truth that we are sure of but rather gossip, innuendo and assumptions that "we are sure of" and feel free to share with others. Who wins? Not Jesus who is full of grace and truth but the Evil One who is the father of all lies.
Even facts can be interpreted wrongly if we assume wrong motives. All facts are suspect if we assume there is a bad agenda behind them. Again, we must be careful as to what motivation we attribute because it is very hard to judge motivations. We can make statements about behaviors but rarely about the motivations behind the behaviors.
All of us ought to be wary of information that we don't know to be true. And even then we ought to be wary of judging the motivations behind the "facts." If we get either wrong we may well be playing into the hand of the Evil One.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Thursday, January 15, 2015
When board members don't get their way
One of the reasons that I believe humility is so important for those serving on a church board (and other ministry boards) is that we must be willing to allow the board to make decisions and then set aside our personal preferences and accept that decision. It is the way boards are supposed to operate but unfortunately there are often board members who refuse to give up their pet issues or put issues to rest that the board has decided. It causes frustration for other board members and can often lead to dysfunction on the board.
There are some individuals who cannot give up their issues no matter how often the board decides differently. The issues just keep coming up and the board member just keeps pushing. Such an individual does not belong on the board because they do not have the humility or flexibility to allow the board to make corporate decisions - decide issues - and move on. It is what boards do.
What drives such frustrating behavior? It can be a lack of humility. It can be a personal agenda. It can be that they are just inflexible individuals and they elevate their preferences to the only solution even when the majority disagrees. I often get push-back when I suggest one must guard the gate to church leadership. Some believe that all that matters is that someone loves Jesus. That is just foolishness! When individuals do not allow the board to operate as it should they hurt the board, the leadership and the church. I often tell congregations that they get what they deserve when they don't guard the gate.
Boards need to learn how to clarify expectations of board behavior and they need to learn how to police renegade board members. If you have someone who will not let an issue go in the face of board action, ask them to step off. They simply don't understand how boards work.
See also
Rethinking leadership selection in the church
Eight dysfunctions of church governance boards
Dumb things church boards do
Board members and their intellectual capacity
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
There are some individuals who cannot give up their issues no matter how often the board decides differently. The issues just keep coming up and the board member just keeps pushing. Such an individual does not belong on the board because they do not have the humility or flexibility to allow the board to make corporate decisions - decide issues - and move on. It is what boards do.
What drives such frustrating behavior? It can be a lack of humility. It can be a personal agenda. It can be that they are just inflexible individuals and they elevate their preferences to the only solution even when the majority disagrees. I often get push-back when I suggest one must guard the gate to church leadership. Some believe that all that matters is that someone loves Jesus. That is just foolishness! When individuals do not allow the board to operate as it should they hurt the board, the leadership and the church. I often tell congregations that they get what they deserve when they don't guard the gate.
Boards need to learn how to clarify expectations of board behavior and they need to learn how to police renegade board members. If you have someone who will not let an issue go in the face of board action, ask them to step off. They simply don't understand how boards work.
See also
Rethinking leadership selection in the church
Eight dysfunctions of church governance boards
Dumb things church boards do
Board members and their intellectual capacity
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Loud voices are not necessarily majority voices
We make a major mistake in the church when we simply assume that loud dissenting voices reflect the will of the congregation. Often they don't. In fact, in many cases, they reflect the voices of themselves and a few friend but not the congregation at large. It may seem like they do because of the noise but be very careful in your assumptions. Often it is just noise.
I have worked in a significant number of situations where churches were in crisis. That crisis was sometimes caused by the pastor or congregants. What I have learned is that what is presented at the outset is often not what I discover upon due diligence. And that the analysis given to me by strong figures in the church (pastor or lay) is often not representative of the church at large.
I am not discounting the perspective of those loud voices. Often, their perspective makes sense even when it does not reflect the will of the majority. What I am saying is that one needs to be careful not to make assumptions as to the legitimacy of the claims until one has done due diligence and can substantiate claims one way or another. That is why I think "grey" in conflictual situations until I have run my process. Grey thinking means that I am listening and observing without drawing concrete solutions until I have all the facts, not some of the facts.
One needs to listen carefully to both loud and quiet voices in any conflict situation. Often the quite voices are more prescient and accurate that the loud voices who get the most attention. What it appears on the surface is not always what is true in the end.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
I have worked in a significant number of situations where churches were in crisis. That crisis was sometimes caused by the pastor or congregants. What I have learned is that what is presented at the outset is often not what I discover upon due diligence. And that the analysis given to me by strong figures in the church (pastor or lay) is often not representative of the church at large.
I am not discounting the perspective of those loud voices. Often, their perspective makes sense even when it does not reflect the will of the majority. What I am saying is that one needs to be careful not to make assumptions as to the legitimacy of the claims until one has done due diligence and can substantiate claims one way or another. That is why I think "grey" in conflictual situations until I have run my process. Grey thinking means that I am listening and observing without drawing concrete solutions until I have all the facts, not some of the facts.
One needs to listen carefully to both loud and quiet voices in any conflict situation. Often the quite voices are more prescient and accurate that the loud voices who get the most attention. What it appears on the surface is not always what is true in the end.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
If I could do it over as a young leader I would have...
If I could do it over as a young leader..
I would have been less defensive when people pushed back at me
I would have had fewer hills to die on
I would have been more flexible
I would have worked harder to stay connected to people who didn't like me
I would have lived with less anxiety
I would have been more patient in achieving our goals
I would have trusted God more and me less
I would have said "I don't know" more often
I would have cared a bit less as to what people thought of me
I would have been more comfortable just being me
I would not have tied my identity to my ministry job
I would have been more gracious and diplomatic
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
I would have been less defensive when people pushed back at me
I would have had fewer hills to die on
I would have been more flexible
I would have worked harder to stay connected to people who didn't like me
I would have lived with less anxiety
I would have been more patient in achieving our goals
I would have trusted God more and me less
I would have said "I don't know" more often
I would have cared a bit less as to what people thought of me
I would have been more comfortable just being me
I would not have tied my identity to my ministry job
I would have been more gracious and diplomatic
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
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