Pride is ubiquitous among leaders in the Christian world. The interesting thing about pride is that it is often rooted in insecurity. If I am insecure I don't want to be wrong and if I don't want to be wrong I will insist that I am right which leads directly away from humility and straight toward pride.
But why do we live with needing to hide our insecurities and weaknesses and mask them with certainty and a need to be right? May I suggest that it is because we are trying to prove something about ourselves? That we are good enough? That we are not failures? That we are worthy people? That God will be happy with us? That we are successful?
Is it possible that at the heart of our pride and fear of failure and therefore a need to be right and in charge is that we do not understand grace? What is grace about other than that God accepts us with all of our sin, weaknesses, dysfunctions, dark sides, and all the rest we can name. And if He accepts us and loves us and if we live in His grace, why do we need to pretend we are something we are not or fear our insecurities? After all, God knows everything about us fully and yet loves us fully. He loved us when we didn't know Him and even then extended grace.
Understanding God's grace is necessary to give ourselves grace. And if I am living in grace I don't need to pretend, I don't need to be right, I don't need to prove myself to others and I can admit my insecurities, failures and other areas of struggle. And that is the key to a life of humility. Pride is all about a facade to protect ourselves. Understanding grace removes me from the necessity of the facade and allows me to be real - the real me - warts and all. And it allows me to be OK with the journey I am on toward greater likeness to Jesus but knowing it will remain imperfect until I see Him.
I suspect that humility and grace are deeply intertwined and that understanding, living in and extending to ourselves God's grace is a key to the ability to live humbly. Humility is a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude where we don't need pretense. It is an honest life. Honest about who we are, the gifts God has given us, the brokenness we have and the journey we are on. I am not sure that true humility is possible without a good understanding of God's grace.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Friday, March 6, 2015
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Negative voices are empowered because they talk with one another
Why can a few negative voices make such a difference in an organization? It is really quite simple. People with negativity find each other, talk to one another and create bonds with each other around their unhappiness. Of course others are left out of the conversation but the negative voices reinforce themselves and it feels like they represent the majority. Usually they do not.
These alliances often create significant dysfunction. For instance, a negative staff member of an organization finds a receptive ear with a board member (going around the leader) and they start back channel discussions around their concerns. All of a sudden this board member has "information" (tainted as it may be) but none of the other board members are in on the conversation or can bring balance. The leader is also in an unfair place as he/she does not know where the negativity is coming from.
These alliances reflect poor EQ. We should be able to disagree with one another and stay connected rather than needing to connect over what we don't like. Relationships built on common enemies or "concerns" are not true relationships. They are simply alliances built around an issue. And when the issue is a negative one, the relationship gets it fuel from the negativity, never a healthy fuel.
What is interesting is that those involved often lose their ability to truly see reality. They assume that there are far more people who are in agreement with them than is actually the case. That is because negativity is reinforced by talking to others who agree with their position. Often in church conflicts this is the case. People will tell me that the vast majority of folks agree with them when in reality it is actually a few. But negativity feeds their reality until they don't see accurately.
When I hear common negative language or mistrust I assume that there are folks allied around a common issue. I do not assume that it reflects the majority opinion even though it is loud. These are times when it is important that those who don't agree speak up and not stay silent. Silence contributes to the negativity. Being self defined can change the equation. Don't get caught up with others where the relationship or common interest is a negative one. It is rarely healthy or productive.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
These alliances often create significant dysfunction. For instance, a negative staff member of an organization finds a receptive ear with a board member (going around the leader) and they start back channel discussions around their concerns. All of a sudden this board member has "information" (tainted as it may be) but none of the other board members are in on the conversation or can bring balance. The leader is also in an unfair place as he/she does not know where the negativity is coming from.
These alliances reflect poor EQ. We should be able to disagree with one another and stay connected rather than needing to connect over what we don't like. Relationships built on common enemies or "concerns" are not true relationships. They are simply alliances built around an issue. And when the issue is a negative one, the relationship gets it fuel from the negativity, never a healthy fuel.
What is interesting is that those involved often lose their ability to truly see reality. They assume that there are far more people who are in agreement with them than is actually the case. That is because negativity is reinforced by talking to others who agree with their position. Often in church conflicts this is the case. People will tell me that the vast majority of folks agree with them when in reality it is actually a few. But negativity feeds their reality until they don't see accurately.
When I hear common negative language or mistrust I assume that there are folks allied around a common issue. I do not assume that it reflects the majority opinion even though it is loud. These are times when it is important that those who don't agree speak up and not stay silent. Silence contributes to the negativity. Being self defined can change the equation. Don't get caught up with others where the relationship or common interest is a negative one. It is rarely healthy or productive.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Our commitment to speaking truth as leaders and Christ followers
One of the attributes of God is that He is truth incarnate. If you do a search of words like "truth," or "lies" you realize that God's character demands truthfulness from His people. But even more significant are Jesus' statements in the Gospels that Satan is the father of lies. Thus, when we speak truth we emulate the character of God and when we knowingly speak untruth or spin the truth (so that it is no longer truth) we emulate the Evil One. There is no other conclusion.
The lack of truthfulness in our lives or organizations is designed to make us look better than we are or to cover up our own mistakes. It is what Washington does, it is what corporations do it is what happens daily all around us. It is an acceptable practice in many circles. But it should not be acceptable in the lives or organizations that represent Jesus. If we represent Him we must emulate His character and truth is at the heart of who He is.
Spinning the facts to make ourselves look good is so ubiquitous in our society that it pervades many of God's people. I often work with churches where leaders have not only not told the truth to the congregation about issues they were dealing with but actually lied. They would say to protect people. Silence is far better than lying and while one does not have to share all truth, whatever is shared must be true.
Often we add some truth to falsehoods to make our statements plausible. But as CS Lewis points out in The Last Battle, The Chronicles of Narnia, "By mixing a little truth with it they had made their lies far stronger."
We have had instances in our own organization where someone was not truthful in their communications. I take these instances very seriously as the leader of ReachGlobal because our integrity is at stake. When we become aware of such issues (thankfully rare) there is literally a "come to Jesus meeting" since such violations go to the core of who He is and who we represent. We either emulate the Father of truth or the father of lies. It is that simple.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
The lack of truthfulness in our lives or organizations is designed to make us look better than we are or to cover up our own mistakes. It is what Washington does, it is what corporations do it is what happens daily all around us. It is an acceptable practice in many circles. But it should not be acceptable in the lives or organizations that represent Jesus. If we represent Him we must emulate His character and truth is at the heart of who He is.
Spinning the facts to make ourselves look good is so ubiquitous in our society that it pervades many of God's people. I often work with churches where leaders have not only not told the truth to the congregation about issues they were dealing with but actually lied. They would say to protect people. Silence is far better than lying and while one does not have to share all truth, whatever is shared must be true.
Often we add some truth to falsehoods to make our statements plausible. But as CS Lewis points out in The Last Battle, The Chronicles of Narnia, "By mixing a little truth with it they had made their lies far stronger."
We have had instances in our own organization where someone was not truthful in their communications. I take these instances very seriously as the leader of ReachGlobal because our integrity is at stake. When we become aware of such issues (thankfully rare) there is literally a "come to Jesus meeting" since such violations go to the core of who He is and who we represent. We either emulate the Father of truth or the father of lies. It is that simple.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Communication silos and integration
It is not uncommon for a leader to have many one on one conversations with members of his/her staff but not to inform others of the contents of those conversations so that they are the only ones who have all the information. FDR was famous for this tactic. What it does is to give the leader the power of information but to leave staff in the dark. It is disempowering to staff and actually a dysfunctional way to lead (FDR notwithstanding).
Whenever any of us have conversations with other staff whether we are the leader or a staff member there must be a question asked at the end of the conversation. Who else needs to know about what we talked about? Often our conversations have implications for others and it is our responsibility to let them know of ideas being considered or decisions made or contemplated - if it will impact them.
Because information is power and because healthy leaders share rather than hoard power, we need to ensure that those who need to know are in on the conversation even if not physically present. Few things silo organizations or individuals more than siloed conversations and decisions. Not everyone needs to know everything but we need to be sensitive to what they do need to know.
In a flat world this is everyone's responsibility, not simply the leader. I am responsible for sharing the information I have that others need. They have the same responsibility. Don't allow siloed conversations when they have implications for others. Share what you need to share. It builds trust, keeps everyone in the loop and removes unnecessary silos.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Whenever any of us have conversations with other staff whether we are the leader or a staff member there must be a question asked at the end of the conversation. Who else needs to know about what we talked about? Often our conversations have implications for others and it is our responsibility to let them know of ideas being considered or decisions made or contemplated - if it will impact them.
Because information is power and because healthy leaders share rather than hoard power, we need to ensure that those who need to know are in on the conversation even if not physically present. Few things silo organizations or individuals more than siloed conversations and decisions. Not everyone needs to know everything but we need to be sensitive to what they do need to know.
In a flat world this is everyone's responsibility, not simply the leader. I am responsible for sharing the information I have that others need. They have the same responsibility. Don't allow siloed conversations when they have implications for others. Share what you need to share. It builds trust, keeps everyone in the loop and removes unnecessary silos.
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Conversation with Hugh Halter on bi-vocational church planting
Interesting conversation today about bi-vocational church planting of small kingdom communities in the United States as a means of multiplying the church, doing evangelism among friends and forming relational communities that are connected. It costs almost nothing, allows those driven for evangelism and ministry to use their gifts and multiplies the church.
This is not the answer for all church planting but it is a lane that needs to be far more visible and honored in the United States. Interestingly this is exactly what we do internationally. The three largest inhibitors to the multiplication of the church globally - including the United States is the belief that you need to have real estate, a building and a full time pastor. Forming Kingdom communities costs almost nothing, releases God's people and is all about relationships. It is similar to what happened in the early church.
We use this approach in the developed and undeveloped world but it is not an honored model in the United States but I predict it is coming. Many young leaders are not interested in the traditional model but are interested in an evangelistically and discipleship model based on relationships, community, releasing everyone in ministry and keeping expenses low. These Kingdom communities can multiply in relationship together and form a larger community.
What gets in the way of seeing this as a viable model in the US? It is our metrics of success which focus on numbers, buildings, budgets and staffing. But often to the exclusion of relationships with unbelievers, evangelism (rather than church transfer) and releasing everyone in ministry within close community.
Unfortunately in the large church model we often pay people to do ministry rather than open opportunities for the congregants to do significant ministry. Kingdom communities open doors for far more significant ministry for ministry driven professionals and congregants.
This is not an either or but a both and. Those denominations that open a lane and honor those who plant Kingdom communities will lead those who only use the traditional model where it is not unusual to invest $250,000 in a church plant - many of which fail.
Check out Hugh's book. We do it internationally. Why not domestically?
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
This is not the answer for all church planting but it is a lane that needs to be far more visible and honored in the United States. Interestingly this is exactly what we do internationally. The three largest inhibitors to the multiplication of the church globally - including the United States is the belief that you need to have real estate, a building and a full time pastor. Forming Kingdom communities costs almost nothing, releases God's people and is all about relationships. It is similar to what happened in the early church.
We use this approach in the developed and undeveloped world but it is not an honored model in the United States but I predict it is coming. Many young leaders are not interested in the traditional model but are interested in an evangelistically and discipleship model based on relationships, community, releasing everyone in ministry and keeping expenses low. These Kingdom communities can multiply in relationship together and form a larger community.
What gets in the way of seeing this as a viable model in the US? It is our metrics of success which focus on numbers, buildings, budgets and staffing. But often to the exclusion of relationships with unbelievers, evangelism (rather than church transfer) and releasing everyone in ministry within close community.
Unfortunately in the large church model we often pay people to do ministry rather than open opportunities for the congregants to do significant ministry. Kingdom communities open doors for far more significant ministry for ministry driven professionals and congregants.
This is not an either or but a both and. Those denominations that open a lane and honor those who plant Kingdom communities will lead those who only use the traditional model where it is not unusual to invest $250,000 in a church plant - many of which fail.
Check out Hugh's book. We do it internationally. Why not domestically?
All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence, are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Deep Influence is coming to the Glen Erie Conference Center in Colorado Springs March 7
If you are in that area, I would love to have you join me for a day of Deep Influence.
http://www.gleneyrie.org/Our-Events/Deep-Influence
http://www.gleneyrie.org/Our-Events/Deep-Influence
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