Transparency in the church: Twelve principles for dealing with bad news!

 

One of the unfortunate practices of the church is to spin problematic news rather than to be candid enough that reasonable people can understand what is going on in a particular situation. Spin, of course, is the manipulation of a message so that what is problematic or plainly bad looks less so and those who are resposible are able to offload responsibility. 

We watched in bemusement as the leaders of Willow Creek and Harvest Bible Chapel tried to protect themselves by massive spin - denying that there was anything wrong until events forced their hand. The truth is that many of us looking in knew there was more to the story than was being shared and the denials in the face of multiple situations and people coming forward made it impossible to believe the spin.

When one hears spin from Washington or in the news, it is often apparent. It is no different with a church. Eventually the truth is going to come out and leaders who have spun the story or manipulated the facts to make things look better than they are will lose their credibility when it does. Hence the resignations of entire boards at Willow and Harvest. Whatever the original issues, the spin caused tremendous damage to the church and the belief that their leaders had told them the truth. The result is that both organizations are in significant trouble as congregants are leaving in significant numbers. 

Bad news can be handled if it is communicated truthfully. This does not mean that leaders must tell all they know but it does mean that what they share must be true. In addition, they must share enough of the facts for reasonable people to understand and to have context.

 Here is the irony of spin. In an effort to preserve their reputation as leaders or the reputation of a leader who has made mistakes or is guilty of impropriety, all parties involved in the spin lose far more credibility than they would have if they had simply told the truth. Enough truth for people to understand what went wrong.

Here are some principles when something goes wrong or must be reported to a congregation.

First, don't hide the issue. You actually win points for being candid in a timely manner.

Second, you do not have to reveal everything you know but you must reveal enough for reasonable people to understand what you are dealing with.

Third,when bad news ocurrs, come with a good plan of how you intend to address it and ensure that you will get to the bottom of whatever has happened.

Fourth, run a good process and report back to the congregation what has been discovered. It is foolish to run bad process and face criticism for both the problem and the response to the problem.

Fifth, remember that if you do not share adequate information it will come back and bite you every time. Truth does rise to the surface eventually and on that day those who dealt with the issue will also face scrutiny and evaluation as well as the one responsible for the original issue. 

Sixth, if you attempt to protect the guilty you become one of the guilty. Lack of truth is enanthema to God and to those you serve. When there is smoke and fire and leaders try to downplay that reality, they engage in lies and falsehoods. 

Seventh, it is the job of leaders to protect their flock. Being dishonest or covering up what is evident or true is not protection but collusion. 

Eighth, always get outside counsel. When the stuff hits the fan, it is hard for those who are in leadership to be objective. Our instinct is to want to make the issue go away. To "protect the church" by pretending the issues are not as bad as they seem. Outside counsel from someone who has experience in these situations will go a long way to get it right the first time. 

Ninth, allow outside wise and godly counsel to help you in your communication with the congregation. You don't want, like Willow, to have to come back a second time or a third time to "clarify" rather than simply communicating bad news upfront.

Tenth, once you have told the truth, ask the church to pray. Asking the congregation to pray when you are not being upfront won't work. People know when they are being manipulated and not being told the truth. In these situations, you will not get prayer but gossip, questions and anger. 

Eleventh, you need a plan for helping the congregation heal. This may take time and trying to "get it behind you" without adequate process will often cause more pain that it will healing. Again, outside counsel can help you get this right. 

Finally, be compassionate toward the guilty but don't protect them. That is not your job. Truth means that you are upfront with the issue without seeking to protect. Grace means that we seek to help the individual(s) involved find healing as well. 

The situation at Willow and Harvest today would look much different if these twelve principles had been followed. The pain experienced by these congregations was greatly intensified by the actions of leaders. While these are highly visible examples, the same responses are played out in smaller churches regularly. Remember the more spin there is, the longer it will take to heal and the more cynicism will grow - which will hamper future leaders from leading with trust. 

The rare magnet of grace

We live in a harsh world. It is not just our differences and the polarization of our society but it is the attitudes that accompany our differences. Attitudes of derision, anger, ill will, verbal assaults and relational separation. Such a context makes it all the more remarkable to meet people who practice the grace of Jesus toward others.

Extending grace to those we think don't deserve it is the most counter intuitive act we could perform. The only reason we can do this is that we recognize God did the same for us and we of all people did not deserve His grace. Not then and not now. But He extends it regardless because that is who He is.

Grace is wonderful when extended to us by God and others. It can be inconvenient when we are called to extend it to those around us. Especially those who irritate and anger us. Those who have hurt or failed us. Those who have committed some sin that we can condemn them for because it is worse than our own sin (in our eyes). But the thing about grace is that it is by definition unmerited favor. It is reserved only for those who don't deserve it. And none of us do! 

I had an uncle by the name of Warren. I always loved to be in his presence because he was a person of grace. Never condemning, always loving and accepting. There was no hint of condemnation in him. In this he was like Jesus. And very different from many Christ followers I know. 

Personally I don't believe the church has much of a greater understanding of grace than the rest of our world. We can be just as condemning, exhibit the same animosity toward those whose views do not match ours and perhaps even more judgmental of others since we can use the cudgel of Scripture to put others down. And we do. Just listen to the conversation of many. 

Of course we have a Scriptural excuse. We need to be people of grace and truth like Jesus was. We are very good at the truth part, which is where our attitudes of judgement come from. But we are very weak at grace, extending unmerited favor. 

And we forget that even when sharing truth, Jesus was normally very gentle: the woman at the well; the woman caught in adultery; the rich young ruler. Our truth can be hard and cutting. His was soft and gentle which made it all the more remarkable and caught his audience off guard. Even His truth was filled with grace. Truth if not communicated with the fruit of the Spirit is not God's truth.

I no longer assume Christ followers will be people of grace which makes it all the more beautiful when they are. While I too fail at it many times, I want to learn to be more like Jesus in this - and my uncle Warren. And to live out the admonition of Paul in Ephesians 4:32-5:2. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

That is grace! Who can you show some grace to today?

Our commitment to speaking truth as leaders and Christ followers

One of the attributes of God is that He is truth incarnate. If you do a search of words like "truth," or "lies" you realize that God's character demands truthfulness from His people. But even more significant are Jesus' statements in the Gospels that Satan is the father of lies. Thus, when we speak truth we emulate the character of God and when we knowingly speak untruth or spin the truth (so that it is no longer truth) we emulate the Evil One. There is no other conclusion.

The lack of truthfulness in our lives or organizations is designed to make us look better than we are or to cover up our own mistakes. It is what Washington does, it is what corporations do it is what happens daily all around us. It is an acceptable practice in many circles. But it should not be acceptable in the lives or organizations that represent Jesus. If we represent Him we must emulate His character and truth is at the heart of who He is.

Spinning the facts to make ourselves look good is so ubiquitous in our society that it pervades many of God's people. I often work with churches where leaders have not only not told the truth to the congregation about issues they were dealing with but actually lied. They would say to protect people. Silence is far better than lying and while one does not have to share all truth, whatever is shared must be true. 

Often we add some truth to falsehoods to make our statements plausible. But as CS Lewis points out in The Last Battle, The Chronicles of Narnia, "By mixing a little truth with it they had made their lies far stronger." 

We have had instances in our own organization where someone was not truthful in their communications. I take these instances very seriously as the leader of ReachGlobal because our integrity is at stake. When we become aware of such issues (thankfully rare) there is literally a "come to Jesus meeting" since such violations go to the core of who He is and who we represent. We either emulate the Father of truth or the father of lies. It is that simple.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

A thought on Christian dishonesty

There is a phrase - "evangelistically speaking" that characterizes too much reporting on ministry results in the Christian world. We feel like we need to help Jesus out by exaggerating numbers whether it is the number of those who attend our church, results of ministry efforts, people who have come to Christ, or often, the results of our own ministries. 

Actually, it is not about Jesus at all but about us. We feel a need to inflate our results because it makes us feel good. But if it is not accurate it is also not honest. In written materials we can imply things that are not true and in general we can inflate the truth beyond what is really true. Consider a fast growing church where we report on the growth that sounds so impressive but don't add that 80% of our growth comes from those who transfer from another church.

I guess that this is one of those evangelical sins that we see as acceptable. But it should not be. Jesus is responsible for the fruit of our ministries and he does not need our help in making Him look good. Furthermore we are not being honest with ourselves let alone others and truth is a big deal to God - He is truth incarnate. The next time we are tempted to inflate the truth beyond what is true we ought to stop and consider.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The problem with small untruths

It is easy to justify a small untruth. It is small and insignificant and has little impact one way or another. Except: With that small lie, I have moved the boundary of my moral compass ever so slightly, but it has moved which makes it easier next time to move it just so much more until the boundary become malleable and subject only to what I can justify. 

This last statement is very important because most of us will not tell an untruth that we cannot justify. That is why lies start small. It is something that is not too hard to justify and if the boundary of truth moves ever so slowly we can keep up with it. And the thing about self justification is that because a lie creates dissonance between our belief system and our actions it becomes necessary for us to justify the action and pretty soon we actually believe our own justification, skewed as it is.

I have met very bright, sometimes brilliant Christian leaders who have caused immeasurable hurt to others through promises not kept, untruths, financial mismanagement, unjust firings and the like. And they have a justification for all of it. Nothing is their fault, they don't take any responsibility and their justifications while absurd to others make perfect sense to them. They believe their own lies. Why? Over time their moral boundaries moved ever so slightly until they were now a great distance from where they started and the only one who does not see it is the individual himself or herself.

The problem with small untruths is that multiplied over and over they become large untruths. And one day, there is no way to even confront those lies because the justifications are believed by the one who has moved their moral boundaries. And it happens to believers and non-believers alike. Even Christian leaders!

Truthful disclosure in ministry settings

One of the hallmarks of Jesus was his commitment to truth. It was not a hard truth for it was almost always delivered with grace (Pharisees excepted on occasion) but it was truth. Falsehood is one of those things listed in the Proverbs as detested by God.

Yet, ministries are notorious for delivering half truths, non-truths and outright falsehoods when dealing with issues that are unpleasant. This breeds predictable and appropriate cynicism among those who know the full story and is at worst no different than the spin control we see all the time from governments and at best is disingenuous. 

I am not suggesting that in every situation we disclose all that we know or could disclose. That is neither necessary nor appropriate in many cases. I am arguing that what we communicate must be true and accurate and that if someone knew all the facts they would be satisfied that what we communicated was not misleading. It is a matter of integrity, of truth and of the character of God who is the father of truth as opposed to Satan who is the father of lies.

This applies to situations where we might be tempted to spiritualize as a method of spin. Here we blame God for the situation we find ourselves in rather than taking responsibility for our own actions. I remember a time when an organization I was a part of lost a great deal of money through poor decisions and the leader talked about God wanting us to become more dependent on Him. I suspect that God actually wanted better management practices and I didn't buy the line. 

When we choose not to tell the truth we are also communicating that God's people cannot handle the truth. The truth is that we learn how to handle difficult situations by wrestling with them, not by avoiding them. It may not be a pleasant conversation but it should never be an untrue conversation.

I have elsewhere shared some principles for those instances when we need to have difficult conversations with our staff or congregations. One of the things that should separate us from the rest of the world is that we are people who worship the God of truth whose character is true and therefore our words must also be true and righteous and straight. Falsehoods are lies and lies do not come from God. Make sure that your words are always truthful even if you are not sharing all the truth you know.

The power of truth in as an accelerator of growth

The willingness to look truth in the eyes is one of the keys to organizational health. Too often, leaders gloss over problems and issues in the organization they lead rather than facing them squarely, admitting that they exist and using that reality as an opportunity to grow, become better and rattle the comfort of the status quo. The very thing we are often afraid to admit - our organizational shortcomings become powerful tools for change when named.

From time to time I receive a call from a ministry or industry leader who says, "We have a problem,  would you be willing to help us figure it out, identify it and solve it." That immediately tells me that this organization has the courage to be truthful about their situation, allow a third party who has fresh eyes to look at it and use the information to improve. It takes courage to bring in an outside party who can name the issues and help frame the solutions. 

Often we gloss over issues and problems that we know are resident within our organization as if ignoring them will somehow help them go away. We gloss out of fear, because we are afraid of what we might actually find or because we are conflict avoidant. It is a mistake! It is a mistake because the very problems we seek to ignore could become our greatest accelerators of growth if we were willing to face them squarely, name them and focus on solving them. 

I live by a simple leadership premise (and it works personally as well). Truth about our situation can be one of the greatest accelerators of growth when we are willing to face reality and solve problems. Seen in that light, problems are an opportunity not a threat. Truth has power. Wishful thinking does not.

Slippery truth and its signs

From time to time I run across people who I start to realize are slippery with the truth. Behind a veneer of spirituality and Christian words they have the ability to spin any situation in a way that makes them look good and which justifies their actions, even when those actions are clearly problematic.

Slippery truth is nothing less than lying and if you do it long enough it is possible to no longer even realize that one is not being honest. The habit turns truth telling into spin and that spin is so ingrained that the one doing it starts to believe their own distorted version of truth. It actually becomes truth to them because they not only convince others but themselves of their version.

What are the signs of slippery truth?

First when explanations over time do not square with the facts as you know them or are used to justify unwise, dishonest or self-serving actions. Those explanations may be framed with sincerity and even spiritual language but your gut says that the truth has been reframed for personal reasons.

Second, when what is communicated is consistently that the individual is right and others are wrong. Or, that your interpretation of events and actions is faulty and theirs is correct. It is spin to exonerate self by the refashioning of truth.

Third, when clearly serious issues are downplayed as insignificant or unimportant and explanations given that are clearly meant to minimize what others would consider serious. Minimization of what others consider serious ethical or moral issues is a definite sign of spin to justify otherwise problematic behaviors.

Fourth, when an individual tries to simply talk himself or herself out of an otherwise clear moral or ethical bind. Some people think that if they talk enough, long enough and from enough angles that they can avoid accountability for their actions.

These behaviors become deeply destructive over time because they start to become truth for the one practicing them, hence my name slippery truth which is not truth at all. Second, the habit of engaging in slippery truth and can turn into pathological lying. I know a few of those and they are or have been Christian leaders. Third, these behaviors fuel narcissism because they are designed to protect the self at the expense of others and truth becomes whatever is convenient and helpful to the individual, which of course is not truth at all but dishonesty.

The Scriptures have a great deal to say about truth. God is a God of truth. Jesus came in truth and grace. Dishonesty in any form is anathema to God (see Proverbs and the Psalms). Furthermore, the center of a healthy life is one that is undivided and the only route to an integrated inner life is a life of truth. The Devil is called the Father of Lies. For those who may be tempted by slippery truth they need to understand that it is a path of the evil one while truth is the path of God.

Don’t be fooled by people who exhibit slippery truth even if they are considered church leaders or ministry leaders. Slippery truth is dishonesty plain and simple. We ought to call it for what it is and treat it for what it is: a lie.