Living out God's grace

 

It is not by accident that the hymn, Amazing Grace is a favorite for so many. It captures so well the essence of what attracted us to Jesus and redeemed us, and it will indeed be something that we will spend eternity trying to comprehend. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9)."

I am convinced that we will never fully understand the full scope of God's grace on this side of eternity, but that it must be something we push into daily. The more we understand His grace in our lives, the more content we are in Jesus, the more grace we show others, and the more we look like Jesus. He is the essence of grace, which made Him the magnet for the people He encountered.

Understanding grace is a life changer for us and how we relate to others. Too often, we are recipients of God's grace but are not students of what it means to extend that same grace to others. Legalism, conditional acceptance, interpersonal conflict, and lack of love, even in the church, are evidence of the great need for God's people to grow in grace. Knowing the truth is not enough for Christ's followers. Living out the truth with the grace of Christ is what will attract others to us and then to Jesus. Jesus came full of "grace and truth." Do we?

For instance, when I truly understand and live out grace:

-I no longer try to earn God's favor but understand that there is nothing I can do to make Him love me more, and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less. Therefore I can be joyful and content in my daily walk with Him.

-I do not need to play the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others but rather extend to them the grace God extends to me, pray for them, and be patient with their faults as God is with mine. I am slow to judge, quick to think the best, and remember how patient and gracious God is with me in my personal growth as I extend that same attitude toward others.

-I can forgive myself for my shortcomings, knowing God has already done that. My motivation to grow in my obedience is no longer about earning His favor but rather wanting to please Him out of gratitude for His amazing love.

-I forgive others quickly, knowing that Jesus extends that gift to me daily. I cannot withhold from others what Jesus has so graciously extended to me. I don't give people what they deserve but what they don't deserve, just as Jesus did not give us what we deserve.

-I no longer look at people the way the world does but know that every individual I encounter has eternal value in His eyes and, therefore, must in my eyes. I go out of my way to love those that others don't love and to give value to those that others forget. 

-I don't display conditional love, just as Jesus does not give me conditional love. Unconditional love is the love of grace, an act of our will based on God's unconditional love for me.

-I love to surprise people with grace when they least expect or even deserve it. Just like Jesus with tax collectors, prostitutes, adulterers, lepers, and all considered undeserving and worthy only of judgment. After all, God surprised us with grace when we did not deserve or expect it.

-I am not hard or harsh, even when I need to bring correction to a brother or sister. Rather, my motivation is always love that comes out of God's gracious love in my own life. I display toward others the same graciousness that God gives to me daily.

-I love to encourage those who have messed up that God is not finished with them yet and that He can redeem their sin and give them hope and a purpose. After all, that is what God did for us. He is the hope for the broken, the guilty, and the hopeless. There is no person and no situation that God cannot redeem so we become evangelists of His hope.

There are many other characteristics of living out a life of grace. One of the most valuable things we can do is to regularly think about our relationships, attitudes, words, and actions from a filter of God's grace to us. Reading the gospels regularly helps us to capture the secrets of Jesus' grace to inform us of what it means to live a grace-filled life.

What the Gospels teach us about how we should relate to and treat others

 

I am convinced that an understanding of how Jesus related to people is critical to our own interactions - at least as believers. There are four Gospels which is maybe a sign that we were to pay attention to them.

It is intriguing that we read in John 1:14 that Jesus came full of grace and truth: in that order. My observation is that those who claim to be Christ-followers love "truth." Just read social media and listen to those who share their thoughts in social media spaces. There are plenty of our versions of the truth. I say versions because not everything we call truth is actually God's truth. But absent all too often is grace.

Unless he was speaking to the Pharisees who were serial grace killers and legalists, Jesus negotiated conversations with amazing grace. Take the woman at the well in John 4. She was an individual with a broken life, living in immorality and deeply in need of truth. Jesus engages her without judgment and with amazing grace. He acknowledges her brokenness but did so in a way that did not scare her off or shame her. 

In fact, even though he acknowledged her brokenness, she promptly went and called her village to come and meet this man. She said  “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” They came out of the town and made their way toward him." Now she would never have done this if Jesus had not led with grace rather than a harsh truth.

Truth without grace is not Jesus yet we practice it all the time. We judge others for their sin, we say things that lack the fruit of the Holy Spirit, we treat people poorly as if we have the moral right to do so and we do it in the name of God. I suspect that when we do so we are not speaking for God, and certainly not like God. Those of us who know Jesus only know Him because He showed us grace - amazing grace and invited us to Himself.

The lack of grace and the focus on truth and our requisite judgmental attitudes is a large reason that people are not attracted to us, to our congregations, and ultimately to Jesus. He came to us full of grace and truth. People may listen to truth but generally only when that truth is full of grace. As Gandhi famously said, I like Jesus but I just don't like Christians. He did not see them as nice people.

I have been the recipient of harsh truth as well as amazing grace by others. Which of those do you think healed my heart? Which of those do you think encouraged me to look again at Jesus? I would guess that you have had the same experience. I would also guess that you can name those who treated you like Jesus did and those who didn't.

Growing up in an evangelical tradition that majored in truth at the expense of grace, I have been more and more attracted to Jesus and His example in the Gospels of speaking truth saturated with grace. Remember, He came full of grace and truth - in that order.

How are you doing in relating to others on the basis of grace before truth?

TJ Addington is the lead at Addington Consulting. We solve dysfunctional cultures and teams and help you build healthy, scalable organizations of clarity, alignment, and results. If the pain is high, you need Addington Consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

Becoming practitioners of grace

 

There seems to be a dichotomy between how Jesus practiced truth and treated people and how believers practice truth and treat people. I am always fascinated by the interactions that Jesus had with people whose lives were far from Him. That is until they met Him. Think of the Rich Young Ruler exchange or the conversation with Nicodemus, or the conversation with the woman at the well or the many people He healed. 

Here are some observations. First, Jesus was a magnet for people who needed grace. Second, Jesus had a way of sharing truth that was not offensive to those who heard it. Third, Jesus was infinitely gracious toward those He interacted with.

Now I contrast that with what I see in many Christian circles today where we lead with our truth and the Bible and judgements around the lifestyle choices and situations of those we come into contact with. Gandhi put his finger on the issue when he wrote “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” Even though I don’t want to admit it, I believe Gandhi is right. I speak for myself, and many I know, and admit that we often don’t look like Jesus.

What are many Christians known for? We are known for all the things we are against. We fight culture wars and target sins we think are the most egregious (which usually means they are not our sins, which are many). We can be critical, judgemental, and even harsh in our words. And we cloak it all in Scripture, using the Bible as a hammer to prove our point. I find this really interesting because this is not how Jesus engaged those who didn’t know God. He didn’t use Scripture as a hammer. He entered into relationships and dialogue and did so in an amazingly grace filled way. He connected with people. He was for the people He connected with. Rather than condemn those who were in sinful lifestyles he had empathy and compassion for their situation and engaged with them. 

Jesus especially loved dinner parties where he mingled with whoever wanted to show up. In fact, the very people that we often won’t hang with because their lifestyle is sinful. And then we wonder why they don’t show up for church. I wonder if we have not been more conditioned by the church experience we grew up with than we have the Gospels and the example of Jesus. We have prioritized truth over grace and acceptance and relationships and love. 

There is a foundational verse in John 1:14. This verse ought to inform our understanding of how we approach those around us. “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

Where the text says that He made his dwelling among us, the literal translation is something like He came and pup-tented with us. He came and camped with us. This fascinates me because there is so much emphasis among some Christians of being very separate from the world. That was not Jesus’s style. He came to live among us. That is why He was able to identify with people. He was the most approachable individual who ever lived and I want to be that way. He was a magnet for people and I want to be that way. 

John further says that Jesus came full of Grace and Truth. So let's talk about the order of those two words. Grace comes before truth. That is because truth without grace is harsh and hard. Yet many believers try to lead with truth (this is what the Bible says) and in the process they push unbelievers away. And even fellow believers. Think of the many moralistic messages that are posted on social media. It may be truth, but it is often lacking in grace and usually not understood at all by unbelievers. In the process we lose the very people that many of us would like to reach.

The grace that Jesus exhibited was magnetic. It drew people to Him and He didn’t lead with social media (OK I know there was none in the day) but He led with relationships. This was in contrast to the teachers of the law who were usually in the business of condemnation rather than  grace, acceptance and love. The teachers of the law were known for all the things they were against, for calling out sin and judgmental attitudes. In contrast, Jesus was known for His love of people, compassion for their brokenness, and great tenderness in how He dealt with them. It was always grace and truth in that order.

As I read the Gospels I am more convinced than ever that we need a new movement of grace in our day that is for people and that is like Jesus. The more grace we possess, the more people will gravitate toward us and Jesus. The less grace we possess, the more we repel people and we become the barrier to them finding Jesus. 

At the heart of being a practitioner of grace is the practice of accepting others rather than judging others. It is easy to judge. Especially because it makes us feel better about ourselves. If I can judge others I can ignore my own ubiquitous shortcomings. Yet, the only reason we have a relationship with Jesus is because He accepted us with grace. He didn’t tell us all the things that were wrong in our life but invited us into relationship knowing that, over time, His Spirit would change us. He didn’t try to fix us but brought us into a relationship. Rather than judging, He loved and rather than condemning He showed mercy and compassion. I want to look like Jesus and I bet you do too. 

I have a vision of a people of God who are so gracious and loving and full of grace that we are magnets for both believers and unbelievers. I have a vision of a people who look and act with the grace and love of Jesus. In this Lenten season, as we celebrate the resurrection of Christ, let's live that resurrection life out with His grace and love. 

Father. Save me from judgmentalism and harshness and give me a vision of a life so characterized by your grace that people are attracted to me and then to you. For you are the source of grace. Amen

Embracing His Grace

 

If there is one word that describes Jesus it is the word grace. John describes Jesus this way in John 1:14. “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, Full of grace and truth.” He says further, “Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” 

Jesus was a person of Grace who offers us grace and invites us to live in His grace. It is the greatest gift we could ever have. 

I had a favorite uncle. His name was Warren. The thing that was so wonderful about Warren is that when you were with him you always felt absolutely accepted and loved. There was no judgment. It was pure acceptance and love. It was very different from a lot of Christians I knew who were critics and legalists rather than lovers and acceptors. To be in Warren’s presence was to feel totally accepted. That is grace.

In the passage we read from John above, it says Jesus came full of grace and truth. Phil Yancey writes this in his book, Vanishing Grace, “The church has worked tirelessly on the truth part of that formula: witness the church councils, creeds, volumes of theology, and denominational splits over minor points of doctrine. I yearn for the church to compete just as hard in conveying what Paul calls the “incomparable riches” of God’s grace. Often it seems, we’re perceived more as guilt dispensers than as grace dispensers.” 

To be a grace dispenser we need to live in that amazing grace ourselves. Perhaps our problem is that we don’t understand grace. Paul writes this about how we come into relationship with God. “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved…and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can  boast.” (Ephesians 2:4-9).

How did we come to God? By grace. We did nothing except choose to believe. And even this was grace. We didn’t come into relationship with Him out of any goodness on our part. In fact, we were dead in transgressions but by His grace we were saved. In fact, there is nothing you can do to make God love you more and there is nothing you can do to make Him love you less. We exist as Christ followers in His grace from start to finish. We live in His grace.

We often think that we need to live up to some standard in order for God to accept and love us. That is not true. He loves us regardless with an amazing love. He calls us out of that place of love and grace to follow Him which means changes in our lives but it is not out of earning any love from God. You cannot earn His love. He offers it freely along with his forgiveness and salvation. Period. Full stop. 

This is what I experienced when I was in the presence of uncle Warren. He exuded love and acceptance and grace. He was like Jesus. Unlike a lot of other people I have encountered whose acceptance you needed to earn and whose critical spirit wounded you and you never felt good enough. Many churches are like that but that is not Jesus.

It is no secret that we Christians can be the most critical and unloving people, both with each other and with those who we perceive to be antagonistic toward God. When we are critical and unloving to fellow believers we miss the point of grace which is that it cannot be earned. If God accepts them I need to as well. In our critical spirit we kill the grace of Jesus, and in effect, require others to earn our love even though Jesus freely gave us His love. 

When we are unloving to those who don’t claim to be believers in the name of defending truth we miss the spirit of Jesus as well. Henri Nouwen, one of my favorite authors, prayed this about those who he could see as enemies or ungodly. “God, help me to see others not as my enemies or as ungodly but rather as thirsty people. And give me the courage and compassion to offer your Living Water, which alone quenches deep thirst.” 

In a New York Times Opinion Piece, Peter Wehner wrote this. “If you find yourself in the company of people whose hearts have been captured by grace, count yourself lucky. They love us despite our messy lives, stay connected to us through our struggles, always holding out the hope of redemption. When relationships are broken, my wife Cindy told me, it’s grace that causes people not to give up, to extend the invitation to reconnect, to work through misunderstandings with sensitivity and transparency.

You don’t sense hard edges, dogmatism or self-righteous judgment from gracious people. There’s a tenderness about them that opens doors that had previously been bolted shut. People who have been transformed by grace have a special place in their hearts for those living in the shadows of society. They’re easily moved by stories of suffering and step into the breach to heal. And grace properly understood always produces gratitude.”

That was my uncle Warren. That is Jesus. That is what we all long for and that is the gift of grace. As Philip Yancey says, we can be guilt dispensers or grace dispensers. I pray that God would make me much more of a grace dispenser as I understand how God loves and accepts me. 

Grace dispensers are like magnets to others because they exhibit the character of Jesus. Churches that are places of grace and acceptance are all too rare and so beautiful when found. So here are two questions for us today. Are we living in the grace of Jesus rather than trying to earn his love? And, are we like Jesus in dispensing his Grace to all those around us. Even those we consider ungodly and our enemies?

Grace Killers to Avoid

 A culture of grace is often missing among God's people. And it is a big disconnect for those of us who represent the King of Grace - Jesus. I am talking about the ability and willingness to give one another the benefit of the doubt, accept that others are not perfect and are in need of grace and extending it even as we desire it to be extended to us.  

Here are seven common grace killers:

Critical spirits and sharp comments. When we allow ourselves to have critical spirits toward others we set ourselves above them in our attitude and demeanor. When we make sharp comments we compound our error and in essence demean others. Even when it is necessary to have a difficult conversation one can speak graciously with truth and ever conscious of our own issues. All of us live under God's grace which He extends daily. To follow Him is to extend that same grace to others. 

Playing the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others. Needing to fix other people's issues is far more about us than it is about them. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict each of us about areas in our lives that need renovation. Sure there are times when we need to talk to others about issues in their lives but we ought to do it with great care. I have found that praying for others is often a far better approach than trying to fix others. God is perfectly capable of getting anyone's attention but He does it with amazing mercy and love.

Expecting others to live by our own convictions. Believers have a wide variety of convictions and practices that fall into the grey zone between what God commands and what He leaves to our conscience. Each of us makes lifestyle choices in those areas where God has not spoken clearly. When we are critical of those who make different choices than we do we are imposing legalism on them and moving from grace to control. We are also again playing the role of the Holy Spirit in their lives. 

This extends to our theology. There are many points of theology - beyond the pillars of what it means to be evangelical that Christians differ on. When I insist that others slice and dice their theology they way I do I am arrogantly suggesting that I have a corner on truth and they do not. What is it in me that does not allow others to come to their own conclusions on issues that are not clear in Scripture? One day we will all stand before God and realize how little we actually knew of Him. Yet we are unable to be flexible with the convictions and practices of others.

Gossip and talking to others about issues rather than to the one we have an issue with. This is a huge grace killer and ubiquitous among God's people. Gossip is no different than writing a critical email and copying it to the world. Its ripples continue on and is a way to lift ourselves up by demeaning others. At its heart it is pure judgement and is from the Evil One rather than the One who gives life (John 10:10). Untold harm is caused to reputations and relationships when we engage in this grace killing behavior.

Assuming ill motives on the part of others. This is a grace killer because we are usually wrong (the motives were not poor) but our assumption about motives (as if we can know the heart of another) causes us to think poorly of them. Grace says that I will not assume the motivation of others because I cannot know it unless they tell me. Giving others the benefit of the doubt is about grace. Only God knows the heart.

Holding on to bitterness and choosing not to forgive. Lack of forgiveness and bitterness is at the root of a great deal of relational dysfunction and critical spirits. It not only kills grace in the relationship but in our own spirits that are poisoned by our refusal to forgive and let go. We become a prisoner of our own bitterness and the poison of that bitterness spreads to others around us. It is our choice to forgive or not to forgive but it is God's command that we do.

Lack of empathy and understanding. It is easy to become impatient and critical of others because we don't understand what they are dealing with in their own lives and we have not taken the time to find out. All of us live with either public or private pain from time to time and our lack of empathy for the issues others struggle with often cause us to be impatient and critical. The truth is that if we had to walk in their shoes we would probably  be struggling with some of the same things.

The Fruit of the Spirit is all about grace in our relationships. The fruit of our lower nature is not about grace but about us. In every relationship we have the choice of extending and living out the Grace God extends to us or conversely, choosing the selfish route of judgement and critical spirits. 

I would sum up the attributes of grace this way:

I will be slow to judge and criticize

I will be patient and forbearing with others

In my words and attitudes I will seek to encourage and lift up rather than discourage and tear down

I will not judge motives

I will forgive easily

I will allow the Holy Spirit to convict others rather than playing that role myself

I will be empathetic and understanding

I will seek to display the Fruit of the Spirit in all of my relationships and interactions

I will choose to assume the best

I will refrain from gossip

Five ways that living in grace impacts our leadership and relationships

 

There are few issues more important to us personally or in our leadership than a proper understanding of grace. Our understanding, or lack of it, has significant implications for how we lead and how we respond and interact with others. It is one of those areas where theology and practice intersect in important ways.

First, leaders who understand and live in grace do not have a need to prove anything to God or to others. If I live in grace, I do not need to worry about being wrong, nor do I need to live with defensiveness. Many leaders in the Christian arena are more about proving they can be successful than they are about serving Jesus. Grace frees us from the need to prove anything to God or others and, therefore, allows us to live in freedom.

Second, leaders who understand and live in grace don't need to seek perfection, which is really all about proving something to others. They can rest in the fact that God is in control, and while we do the best we can, we can leave the results to God. We sow and water, but only God can bring the harvest. Without grace, leaders feel they need to produce results. Living in grace allows us to rest in Him, do the right things, and trust Him for transformational results.

Third, leaders who understand and live in grace are able to extend grace and understanding to their staff. This is not an excuse for allowing shoddy work. It is a posture of wanting the very best for others and extending the same grace that Jesus extends to us. Harsh leaders simply don't understand grace. Think of the Fruit of the Spirit, and you get the picture of what grace looks like in relationships. 

Fourth, leaders who understand and live in grace create cultures in their teams and organizations of grace. The culture of an organization is often a direct reflection of the leader's own spiritual and emotional health. Legalistic or harsh cultures simply reflect the ethos of their leadership. Where a leader understands and lives in grace, he/she creates that culture in the organization.

Fifth, leaders who understand and live in grace create cultures where there is no fear of candid dialogue and diverse opinions because grace allows us to live with a Nothing to Prove and Nothing to Lose attitude. Without defensiveness, we can invite honest dialogue, deal with elephants, and create a culture of grace and truth. Where that is not the case, I would argue that the leader (and or staff) are not living in grace.

I would guess there are many other implications of a life of grace. What I do know is that leaders who understand and live in grace create healthy cultures, and those who don't won't.

Practicing space and grace in a time of division and conflict

Our world is increasingly polarized, and it is easy for us to judge others who don't believe what we do politically, theologically, or in how they choose to live their lives. When my kids were teenagers, they told us that their friends' parents believed we were bad parents because of how we raised the boys and what we allowed them to do. In fact, we can find many reasons to judge one another within the body of Christ. Even what a speaker wears on the platform can become a subject of judgment and public comment.

The tendency to judge others for their convictions or lifestyle choices is nothing new. It happened in the church in Rome, and Paul devoted considerable attention to this topic in Romans 14 and 15. The controversy was over whether people could eat food offered to idols as the pagans regularly did, how one practiced the sabbath, and other issues where people's convictions differed. 

Paul counseled the believers in Rome to extend to one another space and grace. Space to make decisions based on their conscience in areas where there is no obvious right or wrong, and grace to resist the temptation to judge or look down on others for their choices. Paul reminded the Romans of three things in this regard.

First, we all make choices that we believe honor God, so why would we judge one another? "For none of us lives to himself alone, and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord." Romans 14:7-8

Second, we will give an account of our choices to God one day. It is not our place to judge others but to ensure we live in a way that pleases God. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.

"You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. It is written: 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me;  every tongue will acknowledge God.' So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another." Romans 14:9-13

Third, Paul uses the example of Christ, who accepts us, to encourage us to accept one another. "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, to bring praise to God." Romans 15:7.

There is a wonderful beauty in the church when we can encourage one another, accept one another, and give the space and grace that Jesus gives to us. The world has enough divisiveness, and we are called to unity, peace, grace, and patience with one another. That is a congregation that is inviting and loving.

As we enter a divisive campaign season, argue over whether one's church should meet in person and navigate the views on Covid, space, and grace that are desperately in need. We cannot control what others do, but we can influence our own attitudes.

The society of the Bent and Broken

We live in a broken world. Some of us know it better than others. In many churches there is a Celebrate Recovery ministry which ministers to those who know they are broken. Ironically, many others in the church are also broken but they hide behind a facade of "respectability" - pretending and posturing to prove all is well. 

Those who are broken but choose to hide that brokenness not only don't get better but they live double lives, torn between who they want to be and who they know they are. Unfortunately, the very place that was designed to be the place of transparency and healing is most often a place of hiding and judgement. In many churches grace is very hard to find - if you are broken. 

Without grace, there cannot be healing. Without transparency and the safety of sharing ones brokenness there is no healing. We are great in the evangelical world of shaming the broken which is a defensive mechanism to keep people looking at others rather than looking at ourselves. Why is there Celebrate Recovery? Partly because it is a safe place to admit brokenness. Most of the church is not safe and many are hiding those places where they are bent out of fear of what people will think. And say. And judge. And shame. And shun.

The pharisees were like many in the church. Yes, there are many pharisees in the church. They objected to Jesus spending time with prostitutes, tax collectors and the general riffraff of his day. Why did he spend his time there? Because these people knew and admitted their brokenness. Leaving Jesus to say that he came for the sick, not the healthy. Of course, the pharisees of that day or this are not healthy either but are good at pretending. And when a woman poured expensive perfume on his feet and someone objected at the waste of money, Jesus looked at him and said those who have received much grace appreciate that grace. Those who don't think they need it don't appreciate.

There are churches here and there that break the mold: places of safety, transparency and healing. Having worked with many churches, however, I believe them to be a small minority. I no longer expect churches to play the role of healing. Rather, those who know their brokenness and have found healing reach out with amazing grace and come alongside those who need love, help and grace. 

Read the Gospels and see how Jesus interacted with sinners. Ironically the only people he was judgmental of were those who refused to admit their brokenness. Again the pharisees. 

For those who have experienced failure

Failure comes in many forms but one of its realities is that in its aftermath, those around us often define us by that failure - some forever. That often contributes to those who have experienced failure to also see themselves as defined by their past. After all, that is how others see them. 

What is particularly interesting is that this often happens among Christians who would be the first to proclaim that we worship a God of Grace. We sing about Grace and mercy in our worship services and then consign some of those around us to an attitude that does not reflect either grace or mercy. Unlike Jesus who lifts people out of their ditch and encourages them to move on, our attitudes can actually keep people in the ditch and discourage them from moving on. And I suspect that there will be some readers who think that is a good thing for those who have failed.

Here is an insightful statement for those who have experienced failure.

"If you have people who want to live in your history, let them; but don't for a minute think you have to live there with them. You cannot move into your destiny if you don't let go of your history. Surround yourself with people who define you by your purpose rather than your past."

One cannot fight what others think of them. Some will always see you through the lens of your history. But you don't need to live in your history nor does God want you to! He wants you to live in your purpose and in freedom. And there are people who will define you by your purpose. Those are the people you need to bring around you. 

With a repentant heart and the help of God, David moved on from his failure and was called a man after God's own heart. Moses was able to move on from his failure with time and God's encouragement and was called the most humble man who ever lived - a far cry from the arrogance of his youth. Paul said it well in Philippians 3:13-14, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

God does not want us to live in our past. He came to redeem us from our past failures. He calls us to live in His grace and freedom. Others may not want you to live there but He does so let those who want to live in your history do so. But you...move on into a new history through the grace and mercy of Jesus who came for that very purpose.

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