A willingness to reconcile is a sign of Christ in us

I have written recently on the propensity of people to cancel out those they disagree with, the lack of kindness and love among church board members and evangelicals at large. It is as if the church has lost the ability or desire to be peacemakers in the midst of conflict. To be willing to take on the humility of Jesus who "made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross" (Philippians 2:7-8). All for our benefit

How often we are unwilling today to initiate a conversation to say "I am sorry." How often we are unwilling to enter into a conversation to resolve conflict and differences. We would rather walk away - and in that act - we carry our animus and bitterness or sense of offense with us. How often we are unwilling to take the first step toward reconciliation. Instead we insist that the other party do so. How often we refuse to forgive one another and instead carry our offenses with us.

In doing so we drop friendships, leave churches, leave conflict unresolved, carry a burden Jesus never intended us to carry and deny the power of God who came to reconcile us to Him and then to one another. In fact we are told that we are ministers of reconciliation just as Jesus was with us (2 Corinthians 5:11-21). And, He took the first step when we didn't deserve it. Otherwise there would have been no reconciliation with Him. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).

Yet, too often we refuse to reconcile and hang on to our pride. I have done it and you have done it and it is a denial of the One who chose to forgive us when we didn't deserve it. So we cancel one another, split congregations, leave churches, refuse to talk to those we have differences with (unless they repent) and in the process deny that Jesus is Lord in our own lives. 

I am sad for the church today with its conflict and strife. I am sad for my heart when I contribute to the same. In fact, in my Easter journal entry I wrote down these commitments regarding how I want to treat fellow believers:

In my relationships with other believers,

• My goal is to understand and seek peace
• To refrain from judging when it is not necessary or productive
• To think the best rather than the worst
• To forgive freely even when I am hurt
• To ask forgiveness when I have hurt others
• To pray God's blessing on those I would rather cancel
• To ask God to change me before I ask Him to change others
• To be as gentle, patient and kind with those who irritate me as God is with me
• To seek to apply the Fruit of the Spirit with those who I don't like as well as those I do like
• To think about my relationships in light of eternity
• To give up my "rights" to my attitudes, judgements, harsh words, gossip, hard feelings and desires for retribution in pace of the attitudes of Jesus

In several conversations over these issues, people have said to me. "I am not ready to do that," or "that is too hard." Or, "I don't want to do that and don't intend to." There have been times when I have said that as well so I do not and cannot cast stones. 

But whenever we choose the route that is easiest rather than the route that Jesus calls us to and which reflects His character toward us we choose a life of bondage over freedom.

Here is the thing. The evil one comes to steal, kill and destroy - and that includes our friendships, relationships, the unity in the church and our own well being. The good shepherd on the other hand comes to bring life and life abundant (John 10:10). This includes reconciliation of relationships, something that is often difficult without the help of the Holy Spirit. 

Years ago, I held on to an offense that I felt justified about. Another brother in Christ said to me, "you are the more mature one here, go and make it right." It made me angry because I was the one who was wronged. But he was right and I eventually did so. Jesus said, Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall see God." Why? Because that is the nature of who God is and He calls us to the ministry of reconciliation.

Who is it that we need to be reconciled with today? Are we willing to act and encounter His freedom in our lives, or will we refuse and live with a burden of our own making? It is always our choice.

But it is a choice! Either way it is a choice!