Many of us say yes to invitations, obligations, and favors too easily. In doing so, we rob ourselves of the time, energy, and opportunity to do far more important things.
Why do we do it? Often, because we are well-meaning, it is hard for us to say no. We like to be liked, and our willingness to say yes may make us popular with the one who asked. We want to be needed, and the request validates our importance. We like to have influence, and this is an opportunity to be influential.
Unlike many commodities, time is the one thing that you cannot get back. Money comes and goes, but time simply goes. Every time we say yes to an obligation, we write a "time check." It serves as a time check for both the event we've committed to and the time required for our preparation. The obligation may seem small, but when you add this obligation to many others it starts to add up.
How does one be more discerning in determining what to say yes to? Several suggestions:
One: Practice not saying yes immediately. Instead, say, Thanks for that invitation. Let me take a look at my schedule. That answer allows you to think about the invitation and determine whether you want to make the time investment.
Before responding, consider the time you would be obligated to spend and whether this obligation interferes with more important activities, such as time with your spouse, family, close friends, hobbies, rest, or ongoing education. It is easy to say yes, but there is a tradeoff for every yes you give. Does the tradeoff make sense, or is it a distraction from more important priorities in your life? Many people have a plan for your life, but your inner compass on what is most vital for you can only be made by you.
Remember that your calendar tells the story of your priorities, and often, our priorities are not well thought out when it comes to how we spend our time. We should be as careful about how we spend our time as we are about how we spend our money. Or more so because you cannot recover time.
Three: Practice the art of saying no more often. A no can be a positive thing - a gift to you. It gives you time to pursue those most important relationships, priorities, and goals that you have. It saves us from the trap of being overcommitted, over tired, and frustrated by our lack of time for the things and relationships that are most important to us.
Every time you say no for a good reason, you give yourself a gift. And the opportunity to invest your time in things that are close to your heart.
TJ Addington is an executive and leadership coach, an organizational consultant, and a culture specialist. I am a certified master coach with Intelligent Leadership (John Mattone Global). You can contact me at tjaddington@gmail.com. My passion is to help organizations and individuals maximize their gifts and potential.
