Here is an ironic truth: The most important things that most boards need to discuss are the very things that no one desires to put on the table because it is too controversial, will open a can of worms or be pushed aside because it is a political or personal hot topic.
Here is a principle: If a board doesn't want to talk about a certain subject, that is the very subject that they ought to be talking about. First and foremost.
Why? Because those unspoken discussions are the real issues that are impacting your ministry. Everyone knows it but no one has the courage to put it on the table. It is an elephant in the room. But here is the thing about elephants:
Principle: Elephants are only elephants when they remain unspoken issues. Once you name an elephant, it is no longer an elephant. Rather, it is an issue and issues can be discussed.
But since these are often awkward conversations which is why no one wants to raise them, how does one raise those issues in a sensitive manner? The answer is simple: Ask permission.
Principle: When you have a sensitive subject on a board to raise, ask for permission to raise it! It is unlikely to be turned down and it gives people a chance to understand that something sensitive is coming.
For instance, "Folks, I have something I would like to put on the table that I think we all know is there but it is awkward for us to discuss so we leave it alone. Yet it has significant implications for our congregation. Do I have your permission to candidly share my concern?" The answer is almost always "yes, of course, please share." With that permission you have the opportunity to name the elephant which then becomes and issue that can be discussed. Do it gently and honestly and you will have a hearing.
Principle: When there are elephants in the room, most board members want a way to put it on the table but they don't know how. If one courageous and kind board member will put it on the table, others will almost always start to interact and relief takes place that we can at least start a conversation on an important subject.
If there are elephants in your boardroom, be the courageous one who asks permission to put it on the table and starts a conversation. Remember, the elephants that you don't want to discuss are in fact the most important things for you to discuss.
