My love/hate relationship with the Christmas Season

I admit to having a love hate relationship with the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Don't get me wrong - I love Christmas. It evokes in me memories that go back as far as my mind can remember, all pleasant. And the gift, miracle, and incomprehensible nature of the incarnation is so amazing that just thinking about it in all its dimensions puts an overload on the neurons in the brain. It is truly a wonderful time of the year. And then there is family time: I look forward to having my grandsons in my home for a few days, their parents and my younger son and girlfriend. The tiny house will ring with laughter and rich conversation.

Nor am I a scrooge about giving gifts although in recent years Mary Ann and I have no longer given gifts to one another but simply enjoyed the season. What do we really need at this stage of life? But I do enjoy giving gifts to friends and family. Generally however, you will not find me anywhere near a mall at this time of the year because  my tolerance for crowds is limited and the meaning of Christmas has so little to do with the commercial holiday it has come to be where retailers bet their whole year on making money in the period between Thanksgiving midnight and December 31st (ah the post Christmas mark downs).

This is where the love/hate thing kicks in. I love Christmas, as I love Easter morning. But I keep thinking of Jesus' words that a mans happiness does not exist in the abundance of his possessions and it seems to me that in large part that is what Christmas has become: more possessions, more debt, moving merchandise. 

It all seems so incongruent with the God of he universe coming as a peasant baby to rescue a world in darkness and sin. He did not come bearing gifts but the gift of himself, undeserved, unexpected ( by most) and the whole scenario incomprehensible to many. When God gave His greatest gift to us, he gave Himself; His Son. Perhaps the greatest gift we can give in this Christmas season is ourselves to others who are in need. God made it personal, we can make it personal. God did not send a card, He sent a Son. His gift didn't help the economy of Bethlehem as he was delivered in a stable. 

We get upset when Christ is taken out of Christmas (Xmas). But perhaps this advent season we ought to think more deeply than that   at the amazing gift that was given by an amazing God and make that our focus rather than the commercial holiday it has come to be. Rather it is the event that changed everything for all time from that moment until eternity future.

For to us a child is born

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace

there will be no end.

He will reign on David's throne

and over his kingdom

establishing and upholding it

with justice and righteousness

from that time on and forever.

The zeal of the Lord Almighty

will accomplish this.

(Isaiah 9:6-7)

The gift of God to us: Emmanuel - God with us

It is my favorite name for Jesus. And it encapsulates the amazing and incomprehensible gift of God to us for it literally means "God with us." 

It is fitting that Jesus arrived in the squalid confines of Bethlehem. It was the other side of the tracks - more of a slum than the cute Christmas villages we put up on our mantels. A birth in a stable is a messy affair but our hearts are messy, our lives are messy and many of the situations we face are the result of living in a fallen and messy world. The gift of Emmanuel is that He chooses to enter into our mess, whatever our situation and be with us. In the incarnation He became one of us and through the Holy Spirit daily lives with us.

Think of the worst situation you can imagine, or the one you or a close friend is going through right now and then remember, Emmanuel is with you, just as when He first entered this world in Bethlehem. Not only that but He is walking through whatever situation you have with you. God with us. As Paul said, there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8).

The gift of God to us was not only Jesus in the incarnation but Jesus who would for the first time live in each of His followers through the gift of the Holy Spirit. Emmanuel, God with us. It is the gift that keeps on giving, every year, every hour, all the time.

Lessons from the Duck Dynasty controversey

I have been reflecting on the controversy surrounding the comments of Phil Robertson of the Duck Dynasty show in an interview with Gentlemen's Quarterly. His comments regarding sin have created a firestorm from the left because he labeled homosexuality, adultery, bestiality and so on as sinful behaviors. In fact, he was loosely quoting Paul from the New Testament in his comments. It did not go over well. He was fired from the show and it sounds like the show is now over which in the large scheme of things is not a bad thing if one is looking for culture on television.

However, I do think it raises some issues to consider. First, it is clear that the general public has moved so far from its Biblical moorings that even the suggestion that some behaviors labeled in Scripture as sin is controversial. 

We need to accept the fact that increasingly the convictions that those who take the Scriptures as truth are going to be marginalized when they speak about issues that our culture accepts as normal and appropriate. In case this bothers us we need to remember that God's truth has always been and always will be counter cultural. 

Many will appropriately raise the issue of "free speech" which is unfortunately not appreciated when it expresses convictions that are not politically correct. It is a good discussion to have as those who call for tolerance are in fact some of the most intolerant. It is unfortunate that one cannot express their convictions today without being attacked but it is reality. 

The left is not the only group that has been intolerant in their attitudes or unloving in how they express themselves. Many Christians are just as guilty. The fruit of the Spirit applies to how we engage our culture and those who we disagree with: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness and self control.

Further, I was interested in what Phil went to when he was asked about a definition of sin. While I don't disagree with his list as it reflects biblical truth, there are many other sins that are equally sinful: lust, gossip, slander, angry words, racism, marginalizing of those who are not like us, all of which we struggle with on a daily basis. 

This raises the wisdom of labeling the sins of those who sin differently than us as egregious when each of us struggles with our own sinful nature. Sin is not simply those things that are sins of others. All of us struggle with our own demons which the Holy Spirit wants to conquer. It is easy to identify the sins of others and it makes me feel good that I don't do those things while not reflecting on my own sinfulness. There is a reason that many believers are seen as intolerant and angry - they rail against those things that they are against rather than communicating those things that they are for.

Then there is the issue being wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Here is the truth: I want to have influence for Jesus and that is rarely gained by getting in the face of others. Apart from the Pharisees, Jesus was remarkably loving and grace filled when he confronted those who were living in sin. He spoke with both grace and truth. 

As believers who want to influence our world for Him, we need to be deeply sensitive to how we interact with those who do not know Him. Public proclamations are rarely going to do that. Certainly there are times when the church needs to stand for righteousness, justice and mercy (we often do the first while downplaying the second and third) but it must be done in a loving and kind way that clearly demonstrates the grace of Jesus along with the truth of Jesus.

In the final analysis, our influence for Jesus is far more effective when we simply love those around us, identify with the struggles they have because we too struggle with sin, and demonstrate the grace of Jesus and when appropriate speak of the truth of Jesus. I am far more interested in helping people find Jesus and allowing the Holy Spirit to work in their lives as He has in mine than in labeling their sin and trying to fix them. That in the end is His work not mine.

Remember that when Paul wrote the words that Phil was loosely referencing, he was not writing an open letter to society but was talking to those who were in the family of God. We need to focus on the sanctification of our own lives and allow the Holy Spirit to so shine through us that others see the grace and truth of Jesus in our lives and open conversations that allow us to share with others. There are many ills of society but I need to remember that I suffer from many ills myself. I can influence society and should but I also need to be deeply conscious of my own brokenness and the need for daily grace to live the Jesus life. 

I have dear friends who live alternative lifestyles. What they need is what I need - a relationship with Jesus that leads to life transformation where the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin and leads us to the freedom of forgiveness and a life that reflects His grace and truth. Their sin may be different from mine but we are all sinners in need of His grace. How we love others and communicate the good news of Jesus will make all the difference in whether we are heard or ignored.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

When not to write new organizational policies

Policies are necessary tools in order to ensure fairness, clarity and legality. That being said, there are times when it is not helpful to write new policies. I would suggest that the more policies proliferate in an organization the less healthy the organization. Here are some reasons not to write new policies.

Someone did something they should not have done so we write a policy to ensure that it does not happen again. This is the genesis of many new policies but think about this: Because one staff member did something dumb, everyone is now bound by an unnecessary policy when what should have happened is that the individual situation was dealt with. Deal with individuals who do foolish things rather than write a policy that applies to everyone. Sometimes writing new policies rather than dealing with the individual is the cowards way out of an important discussion that needs to take place.

We want to control behaviors so we write policies. The problem is that policies do not control most behaviors. If you hire the right people who have the right motivations you have no need to control their behavior with policies. You cannot write enough policy to cover all potential behaviors and it is futile to do so.

One can read an organization's policy manual and chances are that policies that seem to be no brainers, that feel controlling or paternalistic were written in reaction to some situation which should have been handled with the individual rather than for all.

Policies are designed to ensure that an organization operates within the law, that people are treated fairly and with due process, that money is handled ethically and that the highest moral and ethical standards and expectations are understood by all. Good policies are simple, clear and kept to a minimum. When tempted to write new policies because a staff member has done something foolish, ask yourself, could I handle this with the individual rather than write new policies? 

From time to time it is wise to review one's policies and ask the question as to whether specific policies are really necessary.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Ambiguity is the enemy of unity

There are times when we are tempted to be ambiguous in our answers, directions or instructions. This is especially true of those who by nature want to be liked and default to telling people what they want to hear rather than what one really thinks. Or, simply trying to avoid issues that might be conflictual. It is a mistake!

Ambiguity on the part of a leader is the enemy of unity. A unified team is always based on a high degree of clarity where all involved are clear about their roles and the game plan. Ambiguity, or lack of clarity either out of carelessness or out of a desire to please everyone and avoid conflict actually creates conflict since different people hear different things or in the absence of clarity assume different things.

Conflict is a natural part of team dynamics, at least healthy conflict where differences need to be sorted out and negotiated. When leaders fail to do this out of a conflict avoidance posture, they create the very conflict that they sought to avoid only worse. And it is frustrating to staff members who find themselves at odds with others precisely because their leader was not clear in the first place.

Clarity is a friend of unity while ambiguity is its enemy.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The Twitter principle: Simplify, clarify and focus

The twitter principle is powerful when it comes to bringing clarity, focus and simplicity to almost any endeavor. The challenge is to clearly state your case in 140 characters or less. That forces one to simplify, clarify and focus!

Take, for instance the mission I lead, ReachGlobal. With 550 personnel working with scores of partnerships that touch nearly 100 countries there is obviously complexity involved. Yet we can clarify our purpose in the space of a tweet: We develop, empower and release healthy national leaders in order to see transformational churches multiplied. 

That simple statement sums up our philosophy (it is not about what we do but what we help others do), our goal (transformational churches multiplied) and our method (we develop, empower and release). In addition it touches on our culture of health since only healthy personnel can develop healthy national leaders.

Can your church sum up its philosophy, goal and methodology in a tweet? Chances are it it cannot it is too complicated and many even in leadership cannot easily remember or communicate what is truly important.

If you preach or teach, can you sum up the big idea in the space of a tweet? If not chances are that you are not clear on the essence of what you are communicating. And if you are not, neither will your listeners. How many left church today not totally sure what the message was about?

One can take almost any endeavor at work and ask the question, can we explain our mission in 140 characters or less? If so you know where you are going and if not probably not.

Clarity, focus and simplicity are keys to leadership at any level. Use the Twitter Principle to help you get there.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Have you ever wondered what was happening in heaven in the days before the incarnation?

Have you ever wondered what the days leading up to the incarnation were like in heaven? Certainly the angelic hosts knew what was up as they would play a part in the story. Were they in awe (or perhaps disbelief) that the creator was now to become a creature? The one who created creation was now to become a part of that creation?

And what about the Trinity? For all of infinite time they had been one in three and now that unity would be disrupted in a way it had never been before. Soon Jesus would be talking to the Father through prayer rather than the living with Him as One. How did they process the new reality that was about to come?

And Jesus! What did He think about taking on the flesh of those who He had created, going from Spirit to human form not only for thirty three years but forever - identifying for eternity future with those He had created? Moving from the splendor of heaven to the squalor of Bethlehem. How did He process the fact that His life would end in death with the Father's face turned away? 

And the Holy Spirit! Knowing that after the resurrection of Christ, He would from that time on take up residence in every one who called themselves a Christ follower. Infecting every community, workplace, home and situation where those Christ followers lived, worked and traveled with the righteousness of God and heaven.

What words passed between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit regarding the imminent defeat of the evil one who had thrown a perfect creation into disarray and brought so much pain, suffering and heartache into a world hijacked from perfect goodness to grinding evil? What kind of pain had the Godhead suffered watching the insanity of a world gone wrong? Knowing what was intended and how humanity had become inhumane.

As the time of the incarnation drew nearer, did heaven become quiet? Were the angelic hosts peering over the balcony of heaven watching in disbelief for what was going to happen? They certainly could not imagine doing what Jesus was about to do. Were they watching Joseph and Mary who would become mom and dad to God?

One thing is sure. The incarnation changed our planet forever and the eternal destinies of all who embrace Jesus. But it had to have shaken the heavens as well. 

The devil's ponzi scheme

Treasures are powerful magnets that have a tremendous pull on our lives one way or the other. They are never a neutral force. Our use of our treasures and our attitude toward them will either help or hurt our relationship with God. With treasure there is never any neutral ground. This is what Jesus wants us to understand.

Matthew 6:19-21: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Here is the connection between our hearts and our treasure: Our hearts always follow our treasure! “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Our heart follows our treasure so making sure our treasure is in the right place is foundational for how we relate to God.

Our treasure impacts our relationship with God!

Each of us has two investment strategies we can follow with the stuff God has given us and which strategy we choose will determine how connected we are to our Father.

The first investment strategy is that we can invest in ourselves. The mindset of the person who uses their treasure to invest in themselves, their priorities, and their desires without regard for what God might want with their treasures can be described this way: What I have is mine, life is about me, I am the owner of all that I have, I earned it and the focus of my life is on me.

In verse 19, we see what Jesus has to say about investing in ourselves: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.”

Do you see why Jesus says this is a bad idea? It’s the Bernie Madoff thing. You think you can store it up – that it can provide security – that it can deliver on its promises that it will make you happy and satisfied and fulfilled and you find out that is not true and in the end the treasure box is empty because you can’t take it with you.

Actually, thinking that our stuff can buy us happiness is the Devil’s Ultimate Ponzi Scheme: He wants us to think that our stuff will make us happy, that our stuff will buy us security, that life is about us and our pleasure when in truth his promises are empty promises and all of us have learned one way or another that stuff cannot deliver on its promise.

Have you ever wanted something really, really badly? You thought about it, fantasized about it, dreamed about it and finally the day came and you got it. And a couple of years later you asked yourself what the big deal had been?

For years and years I drove beater cars. Every time I got in my car I wondered what it would be like to have a really nice one. Every Sunday I would drool over the new car ads and finally one day I found the car of my dreams, a brand new white Accra with tan leather seats, six speeds (my son says it goes really fast like 120) sport tires and that awesome new car smell. I was in heaven…for a time. Nine years later I am used to it, I like it but it certainly did not deliver on much life satisfaction. It is only a car! You ever had that happen?

The ponzi scheme of the devil is that our stuff will deliver on life satisfaction when in fact, the more we have the more unsatisfying it is because the more evident it is that our stuff is just stuff. And one day like those who invested with Bernie – it is also all gone.

Jesus has an alternate investment strategy. He says we can invest in God’s Kingdom, verse 20. “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal.” This is actually an amazing statement because Jesus says, you cannot take your stuff with you but you can send it on ahead of you.

Here is the mindset of those who invest in His kingdom. They see all of what they have as His rather than theirs. They see life as about Him, not me. Rather than owners they see themselves as stewards. Rather than I earned it, they know He gave it. Rather than a focus on me, they have a focus on God and His purposes.

Those are very different world views. The first world view says life is about me so that I will accumulate all that I can, spend all that I can and save all that I can. The second world view says that life is about God so that I will give all that I can, share all that I can and invest everything I can in things that will build His kingdom. These world views are 180 degrees from one another.

How is it that we can store up treasures in heaven with our treasures on earth? Think about this: There are only three things that cross the line from time to eternity. Our own spiritual maturity; the lives we have impacted with the love of Jesus; and the financial investments we have made that helped others find Christ or grow in Christ. Nothing else crosses the line from time to eternity.

But, any treasure that I invest in the expansion of God’s kingdom becomes a treasure that I store up in heaven because it resulted in lives changed and people coming to Christ. You cannot take it with you but you can send it ahead of you. The ponzi scheme of Satan cannot deliver and you lose it all in the end. Invest in God’s kingdom and you live with the investment results for all eternity. Which choice are you making with your treasure?

Why does it matter? Because our heart and life focus follow our investments! Verse 21, “For where your treasure is, there you heart will be also. Remember the two life views? Our treasures are either focused on ourselves or on God’s kingdom and our hearts follow the direction in which we invest our treasures: Self or God. Each of us has one treasure but two investment options. Our hearts will follow the investment option we choose.

Jesus wants us to understand that we cannot be focused in both directions! We are either focused on ourselves or on God’s Kingdom. Where we have our treasures is where our focus goes. Our hearts and life focus follow our investments. Jesus wants us to carefully consider which direction our lives are focused: On ourselves or on God!

Treasures are powerful magnets that have a tremendous pull on our lives one way or the other. They are never a neutral force. Our use of our treasures and our attitude toward them will either help or hurt our relationship with God. With treasure there is never any neutral ground.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Incarnation and the heart of God

There is no more beautiful story than that of the incarnation. We have trivialized the incarnation into a nice holiday season with presents and fancy trees when the reality was stark and harsh.

The Son of God, the one who was present at the creation of the world, the one who mankind rejected to go their own way, the king of the universe, was willingly sent by the Father to become a baby in a squalid town, Bethlehem, to grow up in a working class home making furniture. Think of that, the one who had made the world, the mountains, the seas, the animals and the sky, who put the galaxies in their place is now sawing tables and chairs.

In becoming a man, in taking on our humanity, everything changed in how we could relate to God for in becoming like us and living with us for a season we could touch, hear, learn from and relate to the unapproachable God. The Apostle John put it this way, “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). Never again could men and women say, “I cannot understand God” for now they had met and can continue to meet the Lord of the universe through the person of Jesus Christ.

When at thirty years old, Jesus started his ministry he was clear about one thing. The only way to the father, the only way to salvation, the only way to know God was through him. He declared, “I am the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to the father except through me” (John 14:6). There are no alternate routes, there are no other spiritual guides, he and he alone is the route to the Father!

This is not politically correct and never has been. If you read the gospels and the life of Paul you discover it was not well accepted in that day either. For the religious officials in Judea, Jesus could not be the awaited Messiah because he came in poverty and died on a cross in shame. For the Greeks and Romans with all their various “new age” type religions including statues to “unknown God’s” (just to stay on the safe side), a savior who died and rose again was nothing less than foolishness on a grand scale.

In our day, Christianity is vilified and marginalized and alternate spiritual routes are explored and embraced no matter that they contradict one another and have no basis for truth. I am intrigued by how quickly people grab on to numerous alternate spiritual routes that have no validation in history and no internal consistency, but only vague and foggy spiritual language but it is believed as truth while Christianity with its historical grounding, Scriptures and internal consistency is rejected as foolishness.

One of the lies of the evil one is that life is about us. There is another lie: that we can choose our path to God – which is a grand lie indeed since it elevates our wisdom above God’s and allows us to create our own God, our own path and our own spirituality. That is a greater lie than the first one because now life is not only about us but we have the ability to determine its destiny.

If Jesus was trying to create a popular religion he failed miserably. God does not appear as a baby, make furniture, live itinerantly without a home, befriend prostitutes and the sick and the poor and sinners. He does not allow himself to be nailed to a cross so that he can bear our sin on his own body, naked, bleeding, diminished and alone. He would not choose twelve followers who would not qualify for anything other than blue collar work and tell them to change the world (which they did). He would not choose ordinary people like us down through the centuries to keep on changing the world – which he does.

Jesus did not come as a religious guru, or to found a popular religion. He came as the Lord of the Universe, took on our bones and flesh and with truth and grace pointed us to himself as the one who could save us from our sin, give hope to the hopeless, heal the sick and lead us into a relationship with the father – through him. And Jesus and the message of the gospel have been transforming individual lives, one at a time ever since. Not in religion but in relationship.

Anyone who is serious about a relationship with Jesus Christ must confront the claim he made that he is the only way to the father. There are no alternate routes. If he is wrong on that he was not God. If he is right on that he is the only God.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

transformative leadership

My colleague Alvin Sanders defines transformative leadership as the ability to convince people to do what they don't naturally do. I think that is a pretty good definition and it is every leader's challenge.

Organizations, including ministries, naturally gravitate toward what is comfortable rather than what is missional and best. It is why it is so easy to slip into an institutional mode, lose one's cutting edge and all the while think that all is well until we wake up one day and realize that we are no longer effective. 

Think for instance of how easy it is in the church to focus on ourselves, fill our lives with programming and activities and to almost ignore the mandate to be salt and light in the world. That comfort zone is reflected by the amazingly low new conversion statistics in most churches. We simply don't have the time or inclination to develop friendships that are genuine outside of the church. Where you do see regular conversions happening you have a transformative leader who has convinced the congregation to do what they don't naturally do! But what God calls them to do.

Or take the issue of dealing with conflict. Most people are conflict avoiders who would rather not deal with relational difficulties. In organizations where there is a Matthew 18 practice (keeping short accounts and dealing with conflict) you have a transformative leader who has convinced the organization to do what it does not naturally do.

Transformative leaders see through a lens of what should be rather than what is and lead their team, division or organization to healthy practices that others often ignore because they are harder, uncomfortable and not what folks naturally do. It is why their staff look different than the average and why their results are better and their culture healthier. 

If you are a leader, are you a transformative leader or one who easily settles for what is comfortable? Jesus was a transformative leader and I believe He desires us to be the same.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Spotting your future leaders is often counterintuitive

Every organization needs good leaders and a leadership bench. Often, however, the very people we need to help us lead in the future are under our nose but we miss them because they are "leaders in the raw" whose behaviors don't look like leadership material today. In fact their behaviors today may cause one to assume that they are not potential leaders. It is counter intuitive but here are some of the traits of your future leaders that should cause you to pay attention.

They have strong opinions
All leaders do. In the case of leaders in the raw however, those opinions have not yet been tempered by diplomacy so those opinions may come off as sounding arrogant or obnoxious. Now some people are arrogant and obnoxious but often what sounds like such is actually a future leader who is yet unpolished.

They have lots of ideas
People with lots of ideas are obviously thinkers. Granted there are people with lots of ideas and no ability to carry them out but it may be that they are on to something and we should pay attention.

They question the status quo
That is what leaders naturally do. This can be threatening to us because they are questioning how we currently do what we do. There is no need to be threatened - and there is reason to pay attention even if some of their analysis may sound naive. Those who question the status quo are often leaders in the making.

They are not afraid to get in your face
Truth is, you may have to get in theirs to talk about attitude or how they express themselves. But the very fact they are willing to go head to head with you is an indication that there may be a leadership gene that does not yet know how to finesse the message.

They are passionate about what they think
Passion is a trait of a leader. They believe deeply and that belief can easily come out in less than helpful ways when they are young. I am not talking about those who are inflexible in their beliefs but those who have a passion around their opinions and actions.

They want to change the world
Those of us who have been around a while know that none of us can change the world. But we can change something in the world for the better. Those who want to change the world when they are young may not know that life is not that simple but we should pay attention to the underlying desire that is expressed.

They attract others to follow them
This is the definition of a leader (whether a good one or not - others are following). Leaders must lead and there is something about them that causes others to follow. 

They have strong personalities
Yep, that is what leaders have. The strength of their personalities when young can be irritating and cause them friction with others but it is a sign that there are deeply held beliefs and passions that lie beneath the surface. Leaders are not shrinking violets after all.

The behaviors of a potential leader or leader in the raw may seem irritating, caustic, arrogant, or cynical to more mature leaders. And, indeed, that is often the case in terms of how they come across. Because they have strong personalities it is often necessary to "get in their face" and talk about how they come across, how they are perceived when they speak passionately and about behaviors that are counter productive. 

None of that, however, should keep you from paying attention, developing them, giving them opportunity to lead something at an appropriate level and to mentor the underlying leadership piece toward greater health and maturity. The very behaviors you may not like today are the ones that you need in a more mature form tomorrow. If you are a leader think of your younger days and you get the drift.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Ten things I wish more ministries understood

Having worked in the ministry arena for many years I have seen a whole spectrum of organizational health from the excellent to the ugly. I am thankful for each organization that is committed to health and focused ministry. On the flip side there are some key things that I wish every ministry understood. I list them below in no particular order.

One: Money is not the answer to everything!
Ministries, unlike business does not have to make a profit, just stay in the black. Because they rely on donation income it is easy to think that they can always get more - that the key to more ministry is more money. Actually, while funds are important, there is never an unlimited pot and it may well be that we could accomplish just as much if not more by doing what we do differently. That is how the rest of the world operates and we should as well.

Two: Size is not the determiner of success
Using the size of a ministry (or church) as the determiner of success is foolish. Large organizations can look impressive but be highly ineffective. The larger one is the more difficult it is to be nimble and flex to meet the missional agenda. I desire an effective organization, not a large organization.

Three: People matter - a lot
Staff are not tools to accomplish our mission. They are the heart of any ministry and we are stewards of their gifts. Too many leaders are so focused on their own agenda that they are willing to use staff for their ends rather than mobile staff toward common ends. There are frankly too many toxic leaders in ministries who disempower and discourage good staff.

Four: Commitments mean something
Our word is our bond and when we promise something we need to keep our promises. For some reason Christian leaders seem to be less concerned about keeping their promises than they should be - all in the name of pushing their mission forward. Ethics and truth matter a whole lot and say a whole lot about an organization. This even means that we pay our bills on time!

Five: Spirituality does not make up for substandard organizational practices
I know Christian organizations that are known for prayer retreats and who talk a lot about following Jesus whose organizational practices would get low marks in the real world. They pay poorly, treat staff poorly, allow toxic leaders to lead and rarely chart a consistent course. Their "spirituality" does not make up for their shoddy organizational practices. It never does. Ministries of all organizations should be committed to the highest degree of excellence.


Six: Faithfulness is not the whole picture
I have talked to many in ministry who would say that faithfulness in doing what they do is the most important thing, irregardless of the results of their work. Often they quote from John 15, where Jesus talks about Him being the vine and we the branches. They are right about the importance of faithfulness and wrong about the importance of fruit. That passage talks about "much fruit." Results matter in all arenas of life including ministry.

Seven: It is OK to transition people out of the organization who do not fit
Many ministries have a sense that they need to be life long employers to those who have been faithful staff members even after those staff member no longer make the kind of contribution they ought to make. This is both poor stewardship for the organization as well as for staff members who are no longer in their lane. Leaders who think this way do neither party any favors. Rather it is an abdication of responsibility to both.

Eight: You have to know who you are and where you are going
Organizational clarity is leadership 101. What has God called us to do; what are our non-negotiables in how we do ministry; what must we focus on day in and day out and what culture must we have in order to fulfill our mission? Many ministries have foggy clarity leading to equally foggy results. Focus matters!

Nine: Senior leaders should always be held accountable
There is a tendency in the ministry world for leaders to have very little accountability for their actions or for the results of the ministry. Yet they hold others accountable and are ultimately responsible for the ministries results. I know many outstanding ministry leaders but I also know of many who frankly don't belong in leadership because they are not stewarding the organization well or are not fulfilling their own role well (after all they have staff to carry the water for them). Accountability always starts at the top.

Ten: Governance boards should ask the hard questions
That is what governance boards do but my experience is that this is rare in the Christian arena. After all we are doing ministry and we assume the best and don't want to be seen as having a business agenda in a ministry world and we gloss over what would never be glosssed over in the secular arena. That is an abdication of the oversight role of a board. If they do not ask the hard questions which sharpen the leader and the organization who will?

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

I want to have a voice but I am not in charge

This is a common issue, especially for staff members who are wired to lead but are not in a place of leadership yet. You see things that could be done better or opportunities that are not being exploited and you want to have a hearing. Sometimes no one is asking your opinion and other times when you  have pressed in you didn't get the hearing you wanted. What do you do?

Being heard in large part depends on how, when and what we choose to address. Let's start with the how. Often when we feel passionate about something we speak equally passionately, even forcefully and with emotion. This is rarely going to get the hearing we desire as leaders don't like to be forced on an issue. In addition, the emotion behind the conversation may cause a leader to feel that one has an agenda. 

Finally, the use of strong language - which leaders in the raw often use - is unlikely to garner a hearing. Leaders are usually willing to listen to a well articulated view that is shared without emotion and which is directed at the health of the team or organization. How we say what we say has a direct impact on how it is heard and responded to.

Then there is the what. It take wisdom to decide whether one should address certain issues. I remember a time when my senior leader was convinced on a course of action that I was sure would end in a disaster. While I had expertise in the area he chose not to ask me what I thought and I chose to not interject believing that he was not going to hear me anyway. 

The upshot was a loss of 1 million dollars over a year's course at which time he came to me and asked me to fix the area in question and eventually lead it. Had I pressed in when I could have I would not have been heard. Eventually I was heard and had the opportunity to redesign the whole division. Even when we believe we are right, there are times that it is not worth the capital expended in addressing, especially if we perceive we will not be heard.

Which leads us to the when. Again this is a wisdom question. Leaders are busy people with many issues on their minds. While what is on our minds is important to us, it may not rise to the importance in the mind of a leader. Look for an opportunity where it is possible to have a conversation in a natural and relaxed way rather than trying to press in on an already busy mind.

In addition, no matter where we are in the organization we can model excellence in our work, probity in our conversation and wisdom in our decisions - all of which give us influence when speaking to issues. 

As a young leader who wanted a voice but did not have the position, I learned the hard way on these three principles. Some I handled well and some not but keeping the how, when and what will give you a much greater voice from whatever chair you fill in the organization.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

When leaders themselves become the barrier to effectiveness

Ministries often find themselves plateaued and unable to break through that barrier. There are many factors that can be in play but one of the common factors is the senior leader himself or herself. The larger the organization the more disciplined a leader must be if they desire to see that organization grow and become more fruitful and effective.

Leaders often lead out of a personal style without much thought to how that style impacts their organization. I was once called in to do a church consult with a church of around 500. The pastor was highly relational and a great speaker but operated by the seat of his pants in terms of management style. That frustrated his staff who didn't know where he was or what he was doing. In addition, they felt neglected as he didn't provide them with clear guidelines for what he wanted and often micromanaged or changed what they had done.

His board, made up of retired professional folks - former CEO's and corporate types were frustrated by what they perceived as a lack of organization - they were right.

When I shared the frustrations of his staff and board with the senior pastor his come back was "well that is who I am." All true. But what I told him was that if he continued to do life as he was that he would be the barrier to the growth of the church, he would lose key staff and he would face frustrations with his board. If he wanted to take the church to the next level of growth he needed to change how he led. Or, he could grow another church to the five hundred mark doing life as he currently did (although again he would frustrate his staff in the process).

My friend chose to modify his life and leadership with the help of an executive coach.

This scenario is a common one and it explains why many churches will grow steadily and then growth stops. It has met the leadership ceiling of the senior leader - and unless the senior leader changes his leadership priorities to reflect the size of the church, the church will remain plateaued. It often takes an outside coach or consultant to help a leader understand how they can modify their leadership to take the church to the next level.

There are some principles that are fairly constant in this regard.

Focus matters. The larger the church or organization the fewer things a senior leader focuses on and they are disciplined in that focus. In my role, I have focused in on only four key areas that are critical for me to do. Everything else can and is done by others. Getting the focus right and being disciplined in keeping focused is a rare but critical component.

Clarity matters. The larger the church or organization the more clarity matter because the senior leader cannot provide individual clarity to staff or volunteers. There must be organizational clarity so that everyone knows what the the boundaries are and what the missional goals are. Lack of clarity actually becomes a barrier to additional growth.

Staff matters. The larger the church or organization the more critical it is to have the most competent staff possible because the senior leader does not have the time to manage key staff. This means that senior leaders must hire people more competent than themselves in their area of ministry and then delegate and trust those staff to deliver in their area. On this score there is another principle. The larger the church the fewer direct reports the senior leader has. I have three - in an organization of 550! This is not always easy for senior staff to accept but it is a critical part of the focus of senior leaders.

Results matter. The larger the church or organization the more critical it is for the senior leader to focus on results rather than activity. Everyone is busy but not everyone sees the same results. The question is whether we are focused on results or activity! They are not the same thing.

Here is the bottom line. Bright people can take an organization to a certain level on the strength of their energy, ideas, personality or gifts. But they will hit a leadership ceiling where key disciplines of leadership either are embraced or the organization will not continue to grow. That is where the hard work begins! What a leader does at that juncture will determine whether they help their organization break through the growth barrier or live at the barrier.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Living the gospel every day

So often we forget: The gospel is not only that which brought us to Jesus but it is that which sustains us on a daily basis. We have two daily needs - to preach the gospel to ourselves and to live out the gospel - every day.

What do we need to preach to ourselves daily? That the Father forgives our sin, accepts us fully, loves us unconditionally, empowers us with His Spirit and that we can rest in His presence as ones who He sees through Jesus as holy in His sight. We have no need to prove ourselves to God or to win his favor. We have His favor and all the benefits of our redemption - Ephesians 1 and 2 are a great reminder. 

Why do we need to be reminded to live out the Gospel daily? Because there is no arena of life that is exempt from being lived in light of the Gospel that has changed us. Every relationship, thought, decision, relationship, interaction, conversation, choice - all of life is to be lived in light of the Gospel and the new life we have been called to in the Kingdom.

Try praying this simple prayer each morning. "Jesus, remind me constantly of your love, presence, forgiveness and empowerment. And help me today to live out the Gospel in all that I do and say and think."

How different our world would be if all of His people lived out the Gospel daily in all the circles of people and influence they have. The Gospel is meant to touch all of our life and it is meant to touch all those we come into contact with. To say it another way, we are to be Jesus to all those we come into contact with. 

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Never Forget

Every December 4 through January 14 since 2007 I daily read the blog www.reachtj.blogspot.com as a remembrance to the hope we have in Jesus and the grace that he extends so freely to us. The blog is the account of my 42 day hospital stay from which I never should have survived - but God gave my family hope and He extended to me  the grace of an extension of life for which I am eternally grateful. 

The battle between life and death started on December 4 when I entered the hospital unable to breath. They quickly determined that I was in congestive heart failure and had massive pneumonia and a huge pleural effusion (a collection of fluid in the wall of the lung-like having a liter of pop stuck inside your lung wall). What they would not know for a week was that it was MRSA  or Methicyllin resistant staphylococcus aureas- a "super bug" pneumonia. This would lead to septic shock, Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome, a failed mitral valve in my heart, high fevers that required ice cooling jackets, the shutting down of some of my organs, heartbeats of 220 or higher without the ability to shock my heart back into rhythm - all this while I was in a coma and on a ventilator. On a number of occasions the doctors gathered the family to prepare them for my imminent death.

Amazingly God gave my wife, Mary Ann, hope two days into this ordeal. Two days later was the day that I told her I believed I was going to die. It was the day that they would put me on a ventilator from which I should not have woken up alive. It was the day that I could barely breath as I felt I was drowning in my own fluids. But two days before that day as she sat by me bed she asked Jesus, "How should I pray?" And God replied in an audible voice (to her), "It will be very close, but T.J. will live." A voice of hope when there was no human hope. A voice of hope that she clung to during the next weeks of a life and death struggle. When the doctors gently told the family there was no hope she stood on the hope God had given her. She was a rock of faith as were my sons Jon and Chip who walked through the dark days with her and became men in the process. I owe a deep debt of gratitude to the love and perseverance of Mary Ann, Jon and Chip!

Our family experienced amazing grace during and after those days. Our prayer partners came to pray and love on the family. Friends gathered around and sheltered them in their love. And time and again, God gave His grace when it was needed. One night as my youngest sister was standing by my bed angry with God tired and discouraged, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Immediately she knew that it was going to be OK whether I lived or I died. She turned to see who was there but there was no one. She knew she had been touched by God or an angelic being. On another day, a nurse came in tears to Mary Ann and said through tears, "I was just in T.J.'s room and God gave me a vision of him alive and well!"

People often ask me what I remember from my coma. Only one thing. I knew that my lungs were ruined but that God had a set of perfectly healthy lungs for me. That was the Spirit's encouragement to me when I was deeply sick and unable to process what was going on. Another blessing!

Most of all we were blessed through the thousands who prayed for God to do something miraculous and extraordinary. It is the faith and prayers of thousands around the world whom God answered in His sovereignty in choosing to heal my broken heart, clear my lungs, defeat MRSA, septic shock, cool the fevers until the day I walked out of the hospital on January 14, a product of His grace.

God gives us hope in all situations and His grace is with us always. Think back to the situations you have been in where He has shown you His hope and His grace and never forget. Never forget! It is His grace that sustains us day to day, it is His hope that walks with us through the dark nights of the soul that we all experience. Someone asked me, "How do you remember?" One of the ways I remember is to read the blog put up for me daily from December 4 to January 14. It is a month of remembrance for me.  I will follow that practice until I see Jesus face to face and can thank Him in person. 

I am a walking billboard of God's hope and grace. So are you. Never forget. Always live in thanks for His hope and grace. 

http://www.reachtj.blogspot.com/

When elephants fight the grass gets trampled

It is a saying from Congo, and it is about what happens when leaders get into disputes with one another. Who gets hurt when leaders fight? The people they are supposed to be leading are nowhere more evident than when there is conflict among leaders in the local church.

Divided congregations almost always reflect split boards and/or staff. Fractures in leadership will spill over into the church body. It may take time, but it will happen. And it can be from dysfunction among staff or boards.

In one situation where I provided counsel, a large church exploded when the senior staff's fractures became public. It was hidden for years, but when it finally came into the light, sides were taken, offenses were taken on, and the result was a competing church started, others leaving in discouragement and what will be years of healing ahead. When elephants fight, the grass gets trampled.

It is no different when there is ongoing tension between the senior pastor and the board, and it can be the fault of either party. Those tensions do not go unnoticed in the congregation because people can read attitudes, words spoken, and words not spoken. Given enough time, those divides become more extensive and more challenging to heal, and eventually, the conflict escalates, and who gets hurt in the process? Members of the congregation who had nothing to do with the issues, who have little context for what happened but who got trampled in the process. When elephants fight, the grass gets trampled.

This is why it is so critical in the local church to have unity, clarity, alignment, and healthy relationships between leaders. It does not mean that they cannot disagree, but it does mean that they know how to disagree agreeably and guard the spiritual climate of the congregation. When leaders fight, someone gets hurt. It is also essential to have a board and staff covenant that spells out how members work together in health rather than dishealth. 

Don't allow the grass to be trampled in your church!

Ambition and ministry

Ambition is a truly delicate issue for those of us who are in full time professional ministry. In fact, I believe it can be perilous and at the root of much ministry dysfunction, but more about that later. First, by ambition I am not speaking about:

• Wanting to use our gifts to their fullest. After all they were given to us by God to be used fully for him.
• Wanting to have the greatest influence for God that we can within the arenas He has given us. Of course that is the catch - within the arenas He has given rather than the ones we try to manufacture for ourselves.
• Being available to God for any assignment He may have for us. But they are His assignments not ours.

Given that caveat I would suggest that ambition as the world uses the term - to get ahead, achieve success, grow something big, make a name for ourselves and grasp the gold ring are incompatible with those in ministry. In fact, I can give story after story of ministry leaders driven by the their personal ambition and ego that have ended up not only hurting themselves but their ministries and the people they leave in the wake of their own ambitions. 

At its worst, ambition becomes narcissism and there are plenty of narcissistic leaders in the Christian arena: more so I suspect than in the secular arena. I have seen any number of Christian leaders create carnage in the wake of their ambition and then go on to do it again and again. Using a veneer of spirituality it is possible to really about furthering our own life ambitions and advancement.

Why are these incompatible with leading ministry? Because they are far more about us than they are about Him. In fact, it is possible to use ministry as a means of self advancement rather than for the advancement of His kingdom. Any of us in full time ministry know that and deal with the internal struggle on an ongoing basis. If we don't we should!

Contrast that kind of ambition that has self very much at the center with the words of Jesus in the Gospel of John that he simply does and says what the Father has told him to do and to say. Certainly Jesus was not out to make a name for himself (even being God)  but was only concerned about the name of the Father and glorifying His Father. 

Or think about Paul whose ambition was to know Christ and to make Him known (Philippians). In fact, contrast Paul's lack of personal ambition with the ambition of the pseudo apostles in 1 Corinthians who held themselves up against Paul. Their concern was their reputation, lifestyle and standing while Paul says in his defense that he came with trembling and trepidation to preach of Christ and Him crucified. 

These are perhaps important correctives to the celebrity leadership culture we find in the Christian church today. We celebrate superstars and public Christian leaders who lead large ministries as if that is kingdom success. It is no more kingdom success than the pastor who serves his church of 150 with humility and faithfulness. It is all a question of motivation as well as how we define success. And whether our driving ambition is for ourselves or for Jesus and His reputation.

I believe all of us in full time ministry need to grapple with the following questions on an ongoing basis.

• Am I comfortable and OK with the role He has called me to play in His service today? If he were to have me play this role for the rest of my life would I be OK with that?
• Do I believe that it is He who elevates us to larger ministry platforms or do I need to seek that elevation myself?
• Am I maximizing my gifts and influence today with the platform He has given me or am I longing for something different?
• Is my ministry more about me or more about Him? 
• What is my definition of ministry success and does that definition square with the Scriptures?
• How much of my personal definition of success and self worth is driven by the definitions of success around me in my culture?

I am always struck by the life of Moses. When he was forty and thought he was something God could not use him. When he was eighty and didn't think he was qualified God chose Him for the one of the greatest leadership assignments in redemptive history. Moses got it right. Do we?

In loving memory

Our most faithful dog Starbucks passed from this earth this past week after eleven years of faithful friendship at the Addington home. God send her to us at just the right time and she was bar none the best pet one could have.

We often take for granted the richness of God's gifts to us. Starbucks was one of those gifts. No matter how stressful our day, she was always there wagging her tail (I love you), giving small licks (give me some love) and wanting to be with us wherever we were (please let me snuggle with you). Every day she would welcome me home at the same place at the top of the stairs and if I had been gone for weeks it did not seem to matter in the least. Ever forgiving for all slights she waited for another chance to wag her tail and express her love. Many early morning blogs were written with her next to me on the couch.

Today there is a strange emptiness in the home and in a corner of our bedroom where she kept faithful watch over her "charges." She walked with our family through a decade of life and change: kids going to college, two near fatal illnesses, a job change and all the mundane stuff that makes up life but which she brought greater richness to.

Ironically, given what I blog on she was a very self defined dog. She knew what she wanted and was never shy to seek to get it. If she wanted something she would sit and give one an intent stare for as long as it took for us to figure out what we were supposed to know and do. If we got it wrong she moved not an inch. I suspect she felt we were hard to train. And like her owners she did not easily change her mind. We will forever remember her and appreciate what she brought to our lives. Another gift from a loving God whose creation is amazing.

I am so very thankful

Dear Father:

I have so much to be thankful for this year. Every perfect gift comes from you. You are the source of my hope, the ever present help in trouble, the One who has walked with me through every joy and sorrow I have experienced. You are my rock, my salvation, my savior, my hope, my forgiver and everything I have. You are the great I am!

I thank you my family - all of them and how they enrich my life and challenge me.

I thank you for my Christian family who walk through life with me - fellow pilgrims on the journey.

I thank you for my friends for life who know me for who I am and still love me deeply. Examples of You and Your love.

I thank you for the friends I have seen leave this earth this year who I will one day see again with You. They are examples to me and were Jesus to me.

I thank you for meeting the needs I have. My daily bread is your gift. All that I have is from You and is Your provision.

I thank you for being with me through difficult times. The pain is often real but your presence is even more real.

I am thankful for the disappointments I have encountered this year for they give me the opportunity to trust You.

I thank you for hope. Hope for tomorrow, next week, next month and next year and hope for eternity with You and experience your grace and provision in their midst.

I thank you for the incarnation so that I can know you through Jesus in so real a way. Your visitation to this earth changed my life forever.

I thank you for grace and forgiveness. I need it so very much every day and You are always there and always faithful.

On this Thanksgiving day I simply thank You. You are my greatest gift on every day. 

What keeps you awake at night?

What keeps you up at night or wakes you up and prevents you from going back to sleep?

Often the Holy Spirit wants us to pray for a specific issue in our lives or in the lives of others. It is amazing how often God wakes us up at a specific time to pray for a specific need for someone we may know. During one long hospitalization of my own, people reported on the blog that the Holy Spirit kept waking them up at 3:00am in the morning. Because those came in from around the globe, God literally raised up a 24 hour prayer covering at 3:00am in the morning.

There is another reason we may wake up.

My experience is that we can avoid issues that the Holy Spirit wants to get our attention on with our schedules and busyness. But one cannot avoid the night. When He chooses to get our attention at night, when we wake up, there is no place to hide and we face ourselves more candidly than we sometimes want to.

Most of us are very good at avoiding areas of life where we need spiritual renovation. It is not comfortable to peel away layers of our lives that we know deep down are not healthy. It is far easier to ignore areas of dishealth than to admit that they exist and that we need to deal with them. But the Holy Spirit does not let us off that easy because He wants us to be whole, healthy and spiritually alive. And one of His strategies is to gently encourage us to face ourselves - often in the middle of the night when our distractions are at a minimum - and we have nowhere to hide.

Often our busyness is a strategy to hide from issues and closets in our life that need urgent attention but we would rather not face.

Whether it is a situation we struggle with or an area of our lives that needs attention, those issues that wake us up and keep us up are areas that we need to press into with intentionality.

If it keeps you awake, pay attention. It will help you get to sleep!

Low organizational EQ and its impact on staff

Here is an interesting question: Do organizations have a corporate EQ? I firmly believe the answer is yes and it is the sum of the EQ of its leadership and staff. Poor EQ in an organization leads to poor decision making and acceptance of behaviors which would not be permitted in a healthier organization.

A reader of this blog recently wrote me about an organization he had worked for and made this statement which goes to the heart of the issue: "So often there is just wholesale action with so little consideration of the effect. The EQ of the whole organization is unbelievably low." Notice the connection here between wholesale action, lack of consideration of the impact and low EQ within the organization as a whole. 

What are some of the signs of poor organizational EQ? One of them is allowing staff to stay in place even when they create relational chaos around them. I have seen ministries suffer significantly because of one highly dysfunctional leader who created chaos for those who worked for him but was protected by those above him. 

Organizations with low EQ often lack the ability to talk about the elephants in their midst. Thus even when significant issues are present those impacted by the dysfunction do not have the ability to talk to and be heard by those who could deal with it. One of the key signs of poor EQ is the inability to handle conflict: talk about it, deal with it and resolve it. The more organizational elephants there are the lower the organizational EQ.

Making decisions without thinking through the ramifications is another sign of poor organizational EQ. Have you ever watched a ministry make a series of sweeping changes that made no sense and had major unforeseen (by them) consequences? People with good EQ think through the ramifications of what they do with great care and solicit the input of those who can give good counsel. They are rarely caught unawares of the consequences of their decisions. Those with poor EQ tend to make decisions without adequate thought and get caught in the backdraft of those decisions.

Poor EQ also keeps organizations from admitting when they are wrong just as it keeps individuals from the same. When bad things go wrong there are two ways out for ministries with poor EQ. The first is to spin the situation the best they can which often lacks key elements of truth. The second is to spiritualize the situation and play the "God card." "God is leading us to do such and such" which sounds great but is often more about not solving problems earlier and now needing to spin the outcome. God gets blamed for a lot of bad decisions by ministries! 

Spirituality is not necessarily a sign of good EQ.  Sometimes it simply gives a veneer of spirituality to an otherwise toxic workplace. In my experience there are few things that create greater cynicism than poor EQ covered with a veneer of spirituality by leaders.

Truth is a sign of good organizational EQ while spin is a sign of poor EQ. Ironically people usually see through the spin and the only ones fooled are the individuals (leaders) who are creating the spin.

A key indicator of good or poor EQ in individuals is how they treat those around them. The same is true with ministries and organizations. Poor treatment of people internally and externally is a sign of poor EQ. It may be in not protecting them from toxic leaders, in not keeping their commitments, in not dealing with problems which then leave staff or others vulnerable or poorly managed transitions that leave people hurt. 

Those who work for ministries with poor EQ pay a high price, as do those from the outside who also get caught in the dysfunction. It is a sad but not uncommon scenario. If you are in such a situation and find it "crazy making" don't be fooled that it is you who is responsible. You may well be working in an unhealthy environment where the organizational EQ is creating chaos and dishealth. 

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.