Lessons I have learned in working with church conflict

 

After many years of working with churches that find themselves in conflictual situations, I have concluded that there are six non-negotiable principles for a successful outcome.

First, an outside facilitator is usually necessary. The nature of conflict is that people take sides so it becomes very difficult for anyone from within to play the role of a neutral mediator. In fact, the larger the conflict the more critical it is that the individual you bring in is trusted by both sides to have the best interests of the church at heart. The sooner you bring someone in when it is clear that the situation is dangerous the better.

Second, the issues that are fueling the conflict need to be brought into the light. Conflict thrives in the shadows, in gossip, in cliques, in assumptions and behind the scenes. Bringing all the competing agendas, attitudes and positions into the light and allowing all members of the congregation to understand what is being said, what is happening and what the issues are takes the mystique out of the situation and allows everyone to respond from a position of knowledge. It also removes the power of those who have an agenda but have not been willing to make it public but have instead been putting on pressure from behind the scenes. Getting everything on the table allows all stakeholders to understand what is going on and to have a voice in solving the issues. Ironically, those who are most vociferous in their opinions overplay those who agree with them when in fact, if all facts were known, the majority would not agree. 

Third. Reconciliation is always preferable to disunity. This is actually a hard concept for many who have taken a position in church conflict. First, our natural tendency is to take a hard line and once we have told others about our own line-in-the-sand it is humbling to change our position. Second, the longer conflict goes on, the more we see the members of the opposing side as evil, dishonest, disingenuous, people with bad motives and once we demonize people it is hard to ever think that reconciliation is possible. 

To not be willing to consider reconciliation is to make a mockery of God's reconciliation with us and His call for us to be reconcilers. Speaking of church conflict, this is what Paul had to say to the Corinthians. "I appeal to you brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought (1 Corinthians 1:10)." 

In Ephesians 4:1-6 Paul writes, "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to one hope when you were called - one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." Having said that, I acknowledge that sometimes it is not going to be possible to reconcile and stay together. Sometimes it means that we part ways and speak well of one another.

Fourth, ground rules need to be established. One of the most incendiary fuels in all conflict is the absence of ground rules - what is acceptable and what is not. For a list of the ground rules that I recommend, see my blog, Negotiating church conflict in a healthy manner. Or if you want to keep it very simple, look back at the passage in Ephesians 4:1-6 where he says be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. When you think about it, these characteristics are almost always lacking when conflict is taking place. What gets in our way? Pride, wanting to get our own way, anger, and our emotions.

Five, you probably will not convince everyone. There are people who don't want to reconcile. There are people whose pride is far greater than their humility and they have no desire to seek a win/win solution. In working with churches in conflict, I don't do very much to try to convince the unconvincible even if they have the loudest voices. I am looking for people of peace and reason who are willing to work together to see the church come together in unity. This does not mean that the issues that have caused disunity are swept under the rug. To the contrary, as principle two states, they are all on the table and those that need to be addressed are addressed. To do that successfully, however, it requires men and women of peace and reason, whose personal agendas do not cloud their emotions.

Who is most likely to leave in church conflict? Those who have taken a hard stand and cannot or will not compromise that stand. Frankly, it is good for them to leave because they will simply contribute to ongoing conflict if they are not willing to come together with the rest of the congregation.

Sixth: It is a process. Church conflict does not start overnight and it does not get settled overnight. It may take a year in some cases to bring the church back to health. The benefits of doing so far outweigh the trauma of either a church split (which damages churches for years to come) a powerplay by a faction in the church (which causes huge trauma to a church and a significant lack of trust) or not dealing with it at all which dooms the church to later issues.

What is needed for a healthy process is a willingness of the congregation to work together recognizing that how they handle their differences will either enhance or diminish the reputation of Jesus. If His reputation is at stake - and it is - I will do all I can to enhance it.

Additional blogs on church conflict:

Negotiating church conflict in a healthy manner

8 Reasons in my experience that churches experience major conflict

Church conflict: Finding the core issue and the common source

Seven things to understand about church conflict

Church conflict, christian character and the reputation of Jesus

The Challenge of Legalism

 

One of the challenges of life in Jesus is that of living in freedom rather than in bondage to rules and regulations. This isn’t because Jesus gives us unnecessary rules and regulations. It is because we often create those rules because we believe they are necessary for Godly living, and then we impose them on others as well. In fact, if you have been around any church long enough, you discover what is acceptable and what is unacceptable and I am not referring to the teaching of Scripture but to the rules we impose. 

For instance, growing up, I was not allowed to play outside on Sunday. Not sure why but it was a rule in our household. We also didn’t have a television because they were not conducive to Godly living. Nor did we go to movies or school events where dancing was taking place. In some churches and whole denominations, drinking alcohol is prohibited. The joke in the south, where this is prevalent, is that everyone goes to the next county over to purchase their liquor because they don’t want to be seen purchasing it in their own backyard. In other churches you must tithe ten percent of your income. Some people have a highly regulated set of rules for how you raise your children, ostensibly based on Scripture. Others have rules for how you date or don’t date if you are single. 

All of these are personal convictions that are legitimate to hold. But, they are personal convictions and should never be imposed on others. When we do we become legalists who are making rules that Jesus does not make and imposing rules for living that He does not impose. It is called legalism. The problem with legalism is that it moves our faith from a personal relationship with our creator to a set of rules and laws. The former is life giving and vibrant. The latter is dead faith and trying to earn God’s favor with rules and regulations. One focuses on a relationship with Jesus and the other on traditions imposed by men.

Those who make such rules are very good at trying to convince you that you should keep them, and equally good at creating guilt if you don't. But remember Paul’s words. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

Paul calls legalism, with its rules and regulations, slavery. We become slaves to rules as a way of pleasing God. Don’t go there, says Paul. He says to the Galatians “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened by a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1).

Does that mean that we are free to do anything? Not at all. Paul writes, “You my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command; ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” (Galatians 5:13-15).

Paul is saying three things here. First he tells us not to become enslaved to a bunch of rules and regulations that are not from God. Second, to live in freedom. But third, to not use our freedom to indulge our flesh - to get involved with things that are not good for us. And finally, rather than living by rules and imposing those rules on others, we are to simply focus on loving each other. 

Living by rules and regulations creates friction and dissension. The human tendency is to keep adding to those laws and regulations, and lots of energy goes into making sure that everyone is toeing the line. Ironically many people look for rules in their Christian lives. Jesus gives us principles to live by but there are many areas where we make lifestyle decisions based on our conscience. But they are our decisions and not binding on others.

And our decisions in areas of life that Jesus has not specified are based on our freedom. We are free to choose how we live because Jesus has called us to freedom. Our choices are based on our conscience and are not to be imposed on others. Nor can others impose their decisions on you. 

Paul actually calls legalism, or the imposition of rules and regulations that Jesus has not specified, another gospel. He calls it this because legalism assumes that if you keep these rules God will be pleased with you. This was the religion of the Pharisees. They had rules for everything and keeping those rules meant that you were pleasing God. Jesus, however, said no! That is not true faith and that is not the gospel. The Gospel is trusting in Jesus for our salvation based on His death for our sin. 

Are you living in the freedom that God called you to in Him? Are there lifestyle decisions that you are keeping that someone else has told you to keep but where Jesus and Scripture are silent? Is your relationship with God more about rules and regulations than it is a relationship with Jesus? If so, Jesus invites you to a life of freedom, unconstrained by the rules of others. He really does!

Father, help me to live in your freedom and to use that freedom to serve you and others. Free me from the burden and guilt of man made rules and regulations and give me joy in my relationship with you. Amen.

The question for today: What are the rules and regulations I have adopted because someone told me to? Do I agree with them? Does Jesus demand that I keep them?

When the Church and Government are intertwined the Prophetic Witness of the Church is Compromised

 

Last week a group of prominent American evangelical leaders wrote a letter to Patriarch Kirill, head of the Russian Orthodox Church imploring him to intervene and stop the bloodshed in Ukraine. He has fully endorsed the Russian onslaught of Ukraine and fully supports President Putin.

One could wonder why a so called Christian leader could in good conscience support what we are watching in Ukraine: The brutality, the targeting of civilians and the raw use of power to destroy a people and a country. It is a good question and one that religious movements everywhere should pay attention to - including in the United States.

Why would the Russian Orthodox Church support what President Putin is doing, which includes the slaughter of fellow believers in Ukraine? The answer is simple. The Russian Orthodox Church and its leader has made a Faustian bargain with the government of Russia. In exchange for their support of the government, they receive the security of being able to operate unimpeded by the Russian government and even receive significant financial support from the government. Unlike other Christian movements in Russian who are under significant pressure, they reign supreme.

In exchange, the church promises to support the Russian government, endorse their policies, and even join the government to defend Russia against negative Western influences. Understand that this is a partnership between the government, the church and inevitably the Russian intelligence agencies who are intertwined with this whole security issue. 

To complicate issues, in 2019, many Ukrainian parishes left the Ukrainian Orthodox Church with was under the Russian Orthodox Church to form a new Orthodox church of Ukraine. This infuriated the Russian Orthodox Church and Mr. Putin who saw this as a threat to Russia.

David French in an insightful article entitled The Best of Christian Compassion, the Worst of Religious Power says this about the current situation in Russia. "This is the church at its worst, when it weds itself to state power and wields the sword to advance God's kingdom on earth. We are watching the deep darkness of malevolent Christendom, a religious movement that will slaughter innocents to fight "decadence" and bomb hospitals to combat "sin." When you see Putin's armies advance, you can think, this is why our nation rejects established religion."

Ironically, it is also believers who are laying down their lives to fight this onslaught of the Russian government and Russian Church as well as Christians who are providing much of the relief to the refugees that are inhabiting Ukraine or fleeing Ukraine.

It should also be noted that many evangelicals over the past several decades have been seduced by Putin's "religious veneer" as a member of the Russian Orthodox Church and a friend of its Patriarch. Indeed, they are joined at the hip, both benefiting from the arrangement but there is nothing Christian about Mr. Putin nor is he a person of personal faith. He cares about one thing only: Power and his agenda of recreating the Russia that existed before communism. Ironically it would seem that the Russian Orthodox Church wants exactly the same thing and in its proximity to power it also has power. 

None of this, however, has anything to do with Jesus or the Gospel. I think regularly of the hurting heart of God watching what people are doing (in His name) in Ukraine. It is sick and sad and not Jesus in the least. 

All of this should cause the American church and especially evangelicals to be reflective on the dangers of intertwining the church with politics or the church with the political power of the government. And it has done plenty of this. Any of these "bargains" end badly for Jesus and the church. The power of the church comes from the power of the gospel, not from its proximity to political power. The situation with the Russian Orthodox Church is a warning as to where this relationship will end. Power corrupts politicians but it also corrupts religious movements who seek to derive their influence and power from those who are in power and have influence.

The religious right in the United States needs to understand the truth about power that Paul wrote in Romans 1:16-17. "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed - a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: 'The righteous will live by faith.'"

The power the church needs and has comes from the gospel and not from political proximity. When the church and government are intertwined the prophetic witness of the church is compromised and its power is diminished. 

See also, Putin is the New Stalin and Russia, Ukraine and the thin veneer of civilization

Putin is the new Stalin

 

I have come to the conclusion, with considerable unhappiness that Putin is the new Stalin and just as President Xi is taking China back to the days of Mao, so Putin is taking Russia back to the days of Stalin. And in both cases, those were dark days where many suffered unjustly. Why do I suggest this. Consider the following which come directly out of Stalin's playbook.

Those who disagreed with Stalin paid for that disagreement with their lives, imprisonment (Siberia) or torture. The same is happening under Putin. He has killed his enemies in Russia and outside of Russia, has imprisoned thousands and even a statement of opposition to the current war can get you fifteen years in ugly Russian prisons. And, like Stalin he seems to care not what the rest of the world thinks.

Putin, like Stalin dresses actions with a veneer of judicial "fairness." Time and again, charges against his political enemies have been decided before a trial which is simply window dressing.

Subordinates would not tell Stalin what they really thought for fear of their jobs or lives. Neither does it seem that Putin's people are willing to speak truthfully with him if it means disagreeing with him.

Stalin was willing to kill people indiscriminately to accomplish his purposes without an ounce of remorse. He starved the Ukraine killing millions, and shot those who got in his way, or that he thought might get in his way. Putin used these kinds of tactics in Chechnya, Syria and now in Ukraine. People's deaths don't bother him. Shelling hospitals and schools and residential areas is a war tactic. Millions of refugees does not phase him. He will do whatever he needs to in order to accomplish his ends. Without apology and without conscience. There is a ruthlessness to both men that defies logic or humanity.

Putin, like Stalin is a liar to the core of his being. Both believe that the more you say something untrue the more the population will embrace the lie. And in many cases that is what happens. It is impossible to believe anything that Putin says and the same was true of Stalin.

Stalin tightly controlled the media in order to ensure that his party line was the one line that was communicated. Putin does the same thing and has essentially shut down any independent media in the country by passing laws that lie about the war or the country or its leaders. Of course the definition of a lie is whatever Putin does not want to hear.

Putin sees himself as a Tsar - one who is all powerful, always has the final say and whom no one can cross. While Stalin would not have thought of himself that way, he cultivated the same result by ruthlessly eliminating any and all rivals. Putin, like Stalin is consumed by his legacy and power.

Both men were and are deeply suspicious of people of faith. Stalin closed the churches and imprisoned or killed pastors. Putin has co-opted the Russian Orthodox Church for his own political purposes and has made the lives of evangelicals very difficult. The Orthodox church has made a Faustian bargain with Putin and benefits monetarily from that bargain (or did till the ruble became worthless). Evangelical Christians who will not make such a bargain are harassed, denied building permits or the ability to minister as they desire.

Both Stalin and Putin are characterized by an utter lack of any sense of righteousness. For them it does not exist. What matters is raw unadulterated power. Period. Anything or anyone that gets in the way of that power or their personal will can be sacrificed at will.

What characterizes both men is the utter disregard of what the world thinks of them. Apart from wanting to be feared, they are willing to engage in war crimes, killings, corrupted judicial proceedings and blunt force to get their way regardless of world opinion. It takes a very cold and ruthless heart to go there but that is what we are dealing with.

Moving from places of anxiety to places of peace

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Anxiety and worry are a part of the human condition. It is easy for someone to say, you shouldn’t worry, but I don’t know anyone who can go through the situations of life without anxiety and worry. We are finite human beings, and the fact that we cannot know the end from the beginning makes worry a part of life.

That being said, moving from worry to faith, from anxiety to dependence on God, is one of the journeys that Jesus invites us on. He does not want us to live with worry and anxiety but to live with faith and trust and allow our concerns to be carried by Him and not by us. 

I find it interesting that the words “do not be afraid” are repeated 365 times in the Bible, once for every day of the year. We need to hear these words every day because we need them daily. Scripture reminds us not to worry about having enough money for tomorrow because God looks after His own. We are told not to worry about the future because each day has enough worries of its own, and He carries them for us. We are told not to be anxious but to give our cares to Him.

There is an antidote for worry, and that is prayer. As Paul says in Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 

We are invited in all situations, in all circumstances to bring our anxieties to Jesus in prayer and petition, and present our requests to God. Interestingly, Paul says that we should do this with thanksgiving. Why Thanksgiving? Because He is capable and able to intercede in our situation and carry our worries for us. And the exchange is this: We give him our anxieties, and he gives to us the peace of God which transcends all understanding. And that peace will guard our hearts and our minds - where anxiety and worries live - in Christ Jesus. I’ll take that exchange any day.

Some years ago, I was on a flight from Bangkok to the United States, and just as the plane was ready to take off at the end of the runway, the flight attendant saw that I was sick and had lapsed into unconsciousness. I woke up with my 20-year-old son kneeling beside me, and I heard the pilot announce that we were returning to the gate for a medical emergency. I asked my son if that was me, and he said, “yes, dad.” A few minutes later, we arrived at an unknown hospital to figure out what was wrong. 

They thought I had suffered a seizure, but there was no evidence of this with a brain scan. But over the course of the day, I went from sick to very sick to needing to be intubated in the ICU. A year earlier, I was intubated for a month in a coma in the United States for multiple organ failure and MRSA pneumonia and never should have survived. It was a 45-day hospital stay that took me years to recover from. Now a year later, still in recovery, I found myself in the same situation in a foreign country: organs shutting down, massive pneumonia, and knowing that my odds were not good.

I asked the doctor if they were going to put me into a coma like the year before, and he said no. “We will put you under to intubate you, and then you will be awake.” So, an hour later, I found myself awake, with a garden hose contraption down my throat, hooked up to some 15 pumps of various kinds and a breathing machine, and massive, unbelievable pain.

That first night I contemplated my odds. They were not good. I asked God to remove my pain, but that didn’t work. And then, as I reflected, my mind kept going back to a message I had preached about Peter getting out of the boat and walking toward Jesus and Jesus saying to him. Do not be afraid. And I asked God to take away my fear of death and the fear of the unknown. It was a gigantic struggle that first night, and it was repeated again and again as it would be 14 days before I was off the ventilator. But amazingly, God did exactly what He promised, and I traded my fear and anxiety for a supernatural peace that only God can give. 

The pain did not lessen. In Thailand, they didn’t provide pain medication, and with massive pneumonia, you feel like you are breathing through mud. Every hour they would disconnect the breathing machine, bag me to breathe, and vacuum out my lungs so that I could breathe again freely. That experience was like having a heart attack, and every hour felt like twenty-four hours of terrible pain for fourteen days. But, I traded fear for peace because of God’s promise. I realized that the greatest gift is when we come to the end of all of our resources, and all we have left is Him. Then we realize that He is all that we need.

Jesus is inviting you today to trade your worries and anxieties for His peace. That takes place as we bring our concerns to him daily in prayer and petition - with thanksgiving. And He can take those anxieties on Himself and leave us with supernatural peace. So whatever your anxieties are today, He invites you to give them to Him.

Father, I freely admit that I need more of your peace and less of my worry and anxiety. I give you my deepest fears and anxieties today and ask that you fill me with your peace that passes all understanding. Thank you for your goodness to me and your desire to carry my burdens yourself. Amen.

The question for today: What worries and anxieties do I need to give to Jesus in exchange for His supernatural peace.

Creating Space for God in our Busy Lives

 

When you are used up and tired out, frazzled and discouraged, where do you wish you could go? For me, it is a stream in Montana where I am fly fishing in pristine water, the mountains in the background, and the big sky that gives Montana its name, Big Sky Country. For me, it is a place of peace, restoration, and refreshment. It is where I can step out of the rush of life and experience quietness and rest for my body and soul.

I am sure you have a place like that, as well. It is where we wish we were when we wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety on our minds. Our lives are so very full, so packed with people and activities, so filled with obligations that we often lose our joy, our purpose, and our connection with God. The more we wish we could go to our place of peace, the more we probably need to live with less noise, busyness, and obligation. 

Why is this so important? Scripture says in several places and in several different ways to “Be still and know that I am God.” How hard it is to just be still. Being still is turning off all the external stimuli that bombards us constantly. It is finding time to be alone with God because there is a connection between stillness and experiencing the presence of God. 

Think of this as space. You have a limited amount of space in your life. That space is filled with all the things that make up our lives. Family, relationships, kids, ministry, work, recreation, television - whatever it is that fills your space. However, the question is this: How much space is left for God in your day or week? Each of us has the same amount of space in a 24 hour day. But is there space left over for God? Or is He crowded out? 

One of the things that stands out with Jesus is that he routinely went away alone, up the mountain to quiet and secret places, where He could be with His Father. So here is the God of the universe making Space for His Father because He needed it just like we do. So again, the question. How much space do you make in your life for God, or is He crowded out?

Here is the interesting thing. It takes some space to recognize and live in the presence of God. “Be still and know that I am God.” It is stillness in making space for God that we best recognize His presence and feel that presence. The reason is simple. Like in any relationship, where there is no quality time, the relationship suffers. That is why we spend quality time with our spouse or close friends. It is in quality time together that we know and appreciate one another. 

I wonder how often we miss out on God’s personal touch on our lives because we are too busy to let Him in. When we fill our lives with wall-to-wall activities, we start to live out of obligation instead of in the grace and peace of Jesus. Our lives become activity and obligation without rest and the grace, peace, and presence of God. That is a common tradeoff in a world with too little space for God. 

Lent is a time to be still and know that He is God. To be still and silent enough to experience His loving presence and allow Him to restore your peace. Instead of activity and obligation, it is a time to carve out space for Him to occupy. 

One of the significant figures in the Old Testament was a prophet by the name of Elijah. In 1 Kings, we find him running for his life from an evil king. He is tired, worn out, discouraged, hungry, and used up. It was one of those kinds of seasons of life. Finally, after traveling forty days and nights, he reached a place called Horeb, the mountain of God, and he went into a cave to spend the night.

Let’s pick up the story from 1 Kings 19:9. “And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.” So the Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. A fire came after the earthquake, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

Did you catch that? The Lord was not in the wind. He was not in the earthquake. He was not in the fire, but he came with a gentle whisper. It is often how God talks to us. But unless we make space for Him and find times when we can be in His presence without distractions, we don’t experience His peace or hear His whisper. That whisper and that presence are exactly what we need on a regular basis.

God designed us for Himself. So when we are overcommitted and tired for long periods, the chances are that we are doing things He never asked us to do and living out of obligation rather than in fellowship with Him. 

Father, teach me to make plenty of space for you in my life. Teach me to turn off the noise and distractions and obligations that keep me from your presence and from hearing your voice. Remind me often that space for you is the most crucial space in my life. Teach me to be still and know that you are God. Amen.

The question for today: What can I do to live a less distracted life and make more space for Jesus in my day? 

Choosing to Live by the Spirit

 

It is easy to be good and pleasant to those we like. But, it is a lot harder to do the same with those who irritate or, worse, anger us. Or, people we frankly just don't like very well. People we disagree with. People we find offensive or situations where our emotions get the best of us. It is easy for our emotions to hijack our "goodness" in all those cases.

We say words that reflect our emotions, which can be harsh and unkind. Think of emails you have written that you wish you could take back. Or words you spoke to a family member or friend that you wish you had never uttered. Angry, unkind or negative words that hurt someone. It may have made us feel good at the moment, but we know they were not words that pleased God.

We can say the same for how we treat people. We can give them the cold shoulder, ignore them or mistreat them. The ultimate way to hurt them is to gossip about them, share negative information or drop subtle hints that it would be good to pray for them because….and we piously suggest what they need prayer for. It is simply another way of sharing negative information and leaving a poor impression.

OK, OK, you say. "I get the picture." Have you ever wondered why we do these things, and every one of us has been guilty? Maybe even in the past day or week. The answer is simple. They are called "acts of the flesh" in the New Testament relating to our natural human nature. It is who we are, having been born into a sinful world with a sinful nature. 

Here is how Paul puts it in Galatians 5:19-21. "The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."

 

It's not a list that we are proud of, but every individual since the sin of Adam and Eve in the garden struggles with the flesh or the lower, unredeemed nature. It is why Jesus came to die for us to pay the price of our sinfulness. He came to redeem us from the need to live by the flesh and give us the freedom to live by the Spirit of God. 

Again, Paul in Galatians 5: "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you bite and devour each other, watch out, or you will be destroyed by each other."

Did you catch how God wants us to treat one another? He wants us to serve one another in love. As people who God has redeemed, we can resist our lower nature, which is at war with our new spiritual nature. "For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" 

So what does it look like to love your neighbor as yourself or to serve one another in love? Do you remember the description of our lower nature? There is also a description of our spiritual nature which is the result of God's Holy Spirit who lives in our hearts. He takes up residence in us when we give our lives to Jesus. These are called the Fruit of the Holy Spirit because they reflect the character of God. And since we have God resident in our lives, we have access to God's character. 

Here is what God's character looks like, according to Galatians 5:22-26. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking, and envying each other."

Wow: Think of what relationships would look like if, instead of the way of our flesh, we specialized in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. It is the way of the Spirit. Paul says that the other way, the fleshly way, the lower nature way, was crucified or put to death with its passions and desires when we came to Jesus. He nailed that junk to the cross when He died for us. All so we could live by the Spirit and treat others how God treats us.

This is the way of love and the way of God. This is the life we have been called to. As Paul says, "since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." Or, to put it another way, let's live and act and speak like the Spirit who lives in our hearts. 

Think of the people in your life who are the most difficult to love and be kind to. And then ask the question: What would my attitudes, words, and behaviors look like toward them if I lived out the Fruit of the Holy Spirit? If I specialized in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? And then Paul says, "Just do it." You have the ability through the Holy Spirit to live that way. Just do it.

The Christian life is about less of our old sinful nature and more of the Fruit of the Spirit who lives in us. It is less of me and more of Christ. So today, ask God to help you live with less of you and more of Him.

Father, would you help me to be conscious at all times of how I can live with less of my old unredeemed self and far more of you. Please help me reflect your Spirit in my words, attitudes, and how I treat others. Especially those who are hard for me to love. Amen.

The question for today: In what relationships do I need to have less of me and more of the Holy Spirit?

Understanding what it means to forgive others

 

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving  each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Few things are more like Jesus than a willingness to forgive those who have wronged us. We don’t forgive because we don’t believe they deserve it and often that is right. We don’t forgive because we are bitter at some offense and don’t want to give up our right to that bitterness. We don’t forgive because it is, frankly, unnatural to us to do so. Why would I forgive someone who has hurt and harmed me? Or someone close to me?

And so we often allow offenses to fester for years, sometimes decades. In some cases the one who hurt us has gone to the grave and we still carry that offense and still deal with anger and bitterness. The dilemma we have with the act of forgiveness is that we often don’t want to do it but we know God commands us to do it. It can be one of the hardest acts of obedience that we ever have to take depending on the offense.  

There are some myths that surround the issue of forgiveness which also get in our way. The first myth is that someone must ask for forgiveness before we grant it. If only life was that simple. One of the most difficult things about forgiveness is that those who have hurt us rarely apologize to us, ask forgiveness or acknowledge the depth of their hurt to our hearts, souls or bodies. In fact, we don’t forgive primarily for the individual who wronged us but for our own sake. When we refuse to forgive, we allow ourselves to be incarcerated in a cell of bitterness even while we have the key to unlock the cell door - forgiveness - but we choose our dingy cell to the joy of sunlight, freedom, and peace. The one who wounded you may well not deserve your forgiveness, but you deserve to forgive them so that you don’t live life in the prison of bitterness.

Myth two: Forgiving means forgetting. Our memories don’t work that way. We don’t forget moments or periods of intense pain. They are indelibly locked in our brain. The pain we feel when we remember those events may start to fade with time, and the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives. but we will not forget. The goal of forgiveness is not to forget. Rather, it is to be free of the bitterness and hate that we feel for those who wronged us. The more freedom we experience, the more healing we can experience. As we heal the memories don’t go away but the pain associated with them starts to recede. 

Myth three: Forgiveness relieves us of the pain of the wounds inflicted on us. Not so. The pain only recedes with the passage of time and the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. As we heal, the pain may become less painful and there may come a day when there is no pain left. But that only happens when we choose to forgive and give up our bitterness.

Myth four: It is easy for a Christian to forgive. Not so. Forgiving others is one of the most difficult things we will ever do, and the greater the wound the harder it is to forgive. This was the topic of one of Jesus’s parables: The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant. As Jesus was dialoguing about this parable, He had this conversation with Peter: “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” - Matthew 18:21-23

Why would Jesus say this? He said it because of how hard it is to forgive. In many instances, forgiveness is a process of forgiving, and forgiving, and forgiving until finally we don’t need to forgive any longer. It is a hard discipline that must be exercised time and again until the pain has receded and the bitterness is gone. It may be the hardest thing you will ever do. The command to forgive is one of the hard sayings of Jesus because it goes against everything inside us.

Is this not why holocaust survivor Corrie Ten Boom forgave those who committed the most heinous crimes against her? Her father and her sister Betsie died at the hands of the Nazi's and she endured the infamous Ravensbruck prison camp. Years later she recounts the day she forgave her SS guard.

“It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, the former SS man who had stood guard at the shower room door in the processing center at Ravensbruck. He was the first of our actual jailers that I had seen since that time. And suddenly it was all there – the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie’s pained, blanched face.

He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. “How grateful I am for your message Fräulein”, he said “To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!” His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side. Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.

I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your Forgiveness. As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.

And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.”

Ultimately we forgive because He commands it and Paul reminds us to forgive as God in Christ forgave us. And it is in that hard act of obedience and a lessening of our pride and will that we start to find obedience, healing, and in many cases, relational healing as well. Is there someone that you need to forgive today and will you do that in this lenten journey?

Father, help me though your Spirit take the step of forgiveness that I need to take and in so doing lesson my bitterness and allow me to start healing. This is a hard step but one that you command me to take. So I will do it. Amen.

The question for today: Is there someone that I need to forgive?

Seeking a life of Peace in a world of conflict

We live in an increasingly fractured world: Divided by politics, race, international conflicts, and personal slights and offenses that become the grounds for division. The sad thing is not that such fracturing is commonplace but that it has become commonplace among God’s people and in our families and congregations. We divide over theological and personal differences; over politics; over offenses that we experience and won’t give up. We are a divided people and relational conflict is commonplace.

And we have our principles, convictions and beliefs and these often cause us to double down, refuse to forgive or to look for ways of relational peace rather than division. Our world has always been divided. But: into that divided world came a Savior whose purpose was to bridge the gap between God and ourselves and between us and those around us.

To be like Jesus is to be a peacemaker. Jesus Himself said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” To follow God is to join Him in bringing peace to our fractured world.

The world of Jesus’ day was a world of conflict and division as well. Jews and Gentiles didn’t get along. Slaves and free did not relate. Men and women were divided by how one treated the other. The differing ethnic groups that made up those ancient cities gave all kinds of reasons to live with division. And finally, the socio economic differences between rich and poor, entitled and those without power all contributed to a world of division and conflict. And into that brew comes Jesus, the One who consistently subverts the status quo and says to them all “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” 

I am sure that many who heard that statement were shocked because they had their convictions and their principles and they were sure they were right and therefore had no obligation to work toward relational peace. Yet, Jesus said, to be like God you must be a peacemaker. That is who He is. 

Jesus was called the Prince of peace. Paul writes this about His death on the cross. “For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one spirit.”  Ephesians 2:14-18

The common word in these verses is “peace.” Peace with God and peace with one another based on Christ’s work on the cross. At the cross, says Paul, Jesus destroyed the hostility between us and God and the hostility between us and our neighbor. Jesus came to bring peace and calls us to join Him in seeking peace wherever possible. 

How do we do that in a world that is so divided? Here are some of the principles Paul gives us.

• Be devoted to one another in love.
• Honor one another above yourselves.
• Share with the Lord’s people who are in need.
• Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
• Live in harmony with one another.
• Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position.
• Do not be conceited.
• Do not repay anyone evil for evil.
• Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.
• Do not take revenge.
• Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
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All of these instructions are found in Romans 12 and Paul sums it all up when he says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Jesus is calling us to a life of less conflict and more peace. To avoid division wherever possible and to contribute to peaceful relationships, especially among members of God’s family but also beyond.

As we let go of our egos and as we elevate Christ rather than ourselves, we are called here to do all we can to live in harmony, peace, and love with one another. So our question today is twofold: First, who am I divided from or have conflict with? Second, what can I do to seek to bridge that gap, just as Jesus gave His life to bridge the gap between God and us and between us together?

Peacemaking is not an easy task. It may mean that I have to forgive. It may mean that I have to humble myself to have a conversation I don’t really want to have. It may mean that I need to lay aside my pride and find ways to bless others who irritate us or who have offended us. It may mean that I need to be more tolerant of others' political choices and bless them in spite of those differences. It might mean that God is calling me to bury the hatchet of conflict and division and embrace others as Christ went to the cross to embrace me. 

As we follow in the footsteps of Jesus on His way to the cross, let's also follow in His footsteps in making peace where we currently experience conflict. “Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God.”

Father, help me to become a person who loves peace and who is committed to making peace where there is division. In the words of the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi:

“Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; Where there is injury, pardon; Where there is doubt, faith; Where there is despair, hope; Where there is darkness, light; Where there is sadness, joy. O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; To be understood, as to understand; To be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive. It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.” Amen.

The question to consider today: Is there a relationship or situation where I can contribute to peace?

The Ego Challenge

 

Less Ego and More Humility

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” James 4:10

Ego is truly an enemy in our lives. Ego seeks to elevate us above others. Ego convinces us that we need to be right and get our way. Ego keeps us from asking for forgiveness when we have wronged others. Ego keeps us from forgiving those who have hurt us. Ego causes us to compete with those we ought to be cooperating with. Ego drives our need to put others down so that we can be elevated. Ego causes us to project an image to the public that is not the real us. We want to look better than we are so we hide our weaknesses and fears, pretend we are better than we are and present a false self rather than our real self.

We are learning in this series that less can be more. This is very true when it comes to our egos. In fact, a life anchored in Jesus has nothing to prove, nothing to lose and nothing to hide. If I have something to prove I am playing to my ego. If I have something to lose, it is my pride. If I have something to hide it is my desire to look better than I am. In Jesus we don’t have to hide or pretend or compete. We can just be ourselves and live in humility knowing that we are complete and accepted by Him. 

Humility is understanding who we are, our strengths and our weaknesses and not needing to make ourselves look better or hide the real us. In Romans 12:3, Paul writes this: “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.”  

Here is why humility ought to be central in our lives. Our strengths and gifts were given to us by God. We are simply stewards of what He has given. Remember, life is not about us but about Him and the strengths He has given to each of us are designed to be used for His purposes, not to make us look good. Here is the irony of ego in God’s kingdom. Humility is a sign of strength while ego is actually a sign of weakness.  

But there is more. Ego is all about drawing attention to ourselves while humility is about caring about others and their needs. The more pride I live with, the more I will neglect both God and others. After all, ego is all about me. Not Jesus, not others, but me. Humility allows us to place our dependence on Him and serve others because we see them as women and men and children made in God’s image. Seen in this light, ego is the enemy of a life anchored in Jesus which is about Him and others rather than a life that revolves around me.

Solomon spoke to the issue of pride and humility in Proverbs 3:5-8. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” 

Can you remember a time when you were wise in your own eyes and rather than trusting God, you did your own thing and ended up in the ditch? It can happen in our finances, our marriages, our relationships and in any arena of life. We often spend a great deal of our lives trying to fix what we got wrong because we trusted in our wisdom rather than in God’s. Less ego and more humility, faith, and dependence is a sign of a disciple of Jesus. 

Think about the benefits of humility:

• With humility I can forgive others because I don’t need to hold an offense
• With humility I can reconcile broken relationships rather than live in conflict
• In humility I can choose to follow God’s way rather than my way
• In humility I can live with nothing to prove, nothing to lose and nothing to hide
• With humility I don’t need to get my way
• With humility I don’t need to have all the answers
• With humility I can be far more attentive to the needs of others
• With humility I don’t need to lift myself up by putting others down

You can see how ego and pride are intertwined with our lives, words, motives and decisions. Jesus asks us to lay it all down and to choose a life of humility. As James says, as we humble ourselves before the Lord, He lifts us up. Subversively, the way up is actually the way down. 

Humility is one of the beautiful descriptors of Jesus. In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says this: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Did you catch what He said? “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart.” Jesus was a subversive force and calls us to the same. One would think that pride, ego and power are the way to significance but Jesus, turning conventional wisdom on its head says no: humility is. Less of us and more of Him leads to less ego and more humility. Again, less is more. A life anchored in Jesus has nothing to prove, nothing to lose and nothing to hide. It is a life of humble dependence on the father with a concern for those around us. That is the way to significance in the Kingdom. That is freedom.

Father, I invite your Holy Spirit to convict me where my ego gets in the way of my followership. Remind me when I choose my way over your way or live with something to prove, something to lose and something to hide. Amen.

The question to consider today: Are there areas where I need to lay down my ego and choose humility and dependence?

Russia, Ukraine and the Thin Veneer of Civilization

 

The world has been watching the face of evil as the Russian army has invaded Ukraine dislocating a million plus individuals to date, killing innocent civilians in a brazen act of violence inflicted by one country (primarily its leaders I suspect) against another. For many of us, words cannot convey our horror at what the Russian army is inflicting on Ukraine. 
Watching world events there is one truth that I see all too often. Riots in our own country, racism that inflicts pain and unfairness, conflicts like we are watching in Europe, ongoing civil wars in places like Congo all point to one truth: The veneer of civilization is very thin and very precious to maintain.

My further observation is that evangelical leaders can be naïve to a fault - thinking of those who have lauded Mr. Putin for his tough stances. Mr. Putin is a corrupt leader who has robbed his nation of its wealth allowing a minimum of 30% of its national wealth to be concentrated in the hands of a few individuals. This was not earned money but stolen money. He kills his enemies, silences his critics, imprisons those who are a threat, oversees a corrupt government and system that cares little for fairness or justice. He is Stalin in a "nicer" form - or was, until Ukraine when his true credentials were on display for the world to see. Just because he lights candles in a Russian Orthodox Church does not a Godly man make. Why anyone would laud him as a good man or a decent leader is a mystery to me. Ice water flows through his evil heart.

I would arrive home after trips to Russia and hand in expense reports with descriptions like "graft" and "corruption." There are many things about Russia and its people I enjoy but its government from the local to the national level is deeply corrupt, anti-Christian (evangelical) and very difficult to deal with. 

On just one trip I was charged $25.00 for a two kilometer taxi ride (they wanted $50), charged extra bribe money to board two flights, had $200 stolen, was extorted at the train station, was searched by police on the street, had a dinner in a private residence interrupted by police who then demanded that I show up at the police station in the morning (I agreed to since I was leaving by train that night at midnight - they are probably still waiting for me). Oh, at breakfast, lunch and dinner, the car you might be driving is pulled over because the traffic cop needs money for food and the standard fine for anything car related will conveniently purchase said meal. Those were just the highlights not counting the mafia characters who tried to extort me. 

Events at our capital last year would indicate that the veneer of American civilization is also thin and getting thinner. All of which begs for the transformation of the human heart through the rebirth Jesus offers. There is no other ultimate solution to the problem of sin and evil and our world specializes in both.

The Intentional Act of Lessening

The Intentional Act of Lessening

He must become greater; I must become less. John 3:30

Who does your world revolve around? For most, the world revolves around me. Life is about us. We count the responses we get on Facebook, love to be recognized and want to be somebody. Often we are unconsciously in competition for position, maybe power, affirmation from others, and often recognition. When we don’t get our way we can feel robbed and diminished. 

This is not a new issue. In fact, there was a brief overlap in the ministries of John the Baptist and Jesus. Both were calling people to repentance and baptizing those who answered the call. After Jesus was baptized, many people gravitated away from John and toward Jesus and this became a source of consternation for John’s disciples who thought that John was not getting the recognition he deserved. They brought their concerns to John but his answer surprised them.

John replied, “A person can receive only what is given them from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah but am sent ahead of him.’ The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less.”

John perfectly captures the relationship between us and God when He said “He must become greater; I must become less.” Not only that, but John says this brings him joy. In that one sentence, John captures the essence of the Christian life. Life is not about us but about Him. That is a radical statement in a world that seeks to focus all of life around us as the center of the universe. In a world where nearly everyone believes that life revolves around them, John says, Jesus must become greater and I must become less.

John is saying that his job is not to lift himself up but to lift up the name and reputation of Jesus. Life is not about me but about Him. He is God. He is my creator. He is the one who redeemed me. He died to bring me into His eternal family. He holds my life in His hand. 

Here is one of the ironies of life. When we try to make life about us we diminish God and our lives become poorer and less fulfilling. But when we choose to make God the center of our lives, we experience life as we have never known it. Life centered on us is a diminished life but life centered on God is fullness of life.

There is a reason for this. When God created mankind he made him for fellowship with Him. But when Adam and Eve sinned, there was something great that was lost. This is why their sin is called “the fall.” We all suffer from that fall. Mankind fell out of relationship with God and lost the most meaningful part of life. 

Solomon spoke of this in Ecclesiastes 3:9-11. “What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

Here is our dilemma. There is a hole in our hearts because we were made for God. He planted the seed of eternity in our heart and until we fill that place with Him, we live a diminished life. The more of Him we put into our lives and hearts, the more contentment and happiness we experience. Because life is really about Him and not us. In lessening our need to be at the center and placing Him at the center of our lives we experience true life. 

Here is how the Apostle Paul talks about the blessings we have in Christ. As you listen to this, think of the amazing gifts we have in Christ. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.” (Ephesians 1:3-10).

These are just a few of the amazing gifts we have as children of God. As we make life about Him we experience a whole new life and find the satisfaction and meaning we desire in the deepest places of our heart.

How do we become less so that He can become greater in our lives? It is a matter of focus and intention. Do we give Him time in our day so that we find ways to connect with Him? Do we conform our lives to His teachings so that we are following Him rather than ourselves? For many of us, the problem is that we are too busy to connect with Him. Personal busyness is a symptom that life revolves around us. Carving out quality time with Him is a sign that we want our lives to revolve around Him.

As you walk through the 40 days of Lent, consider finding some extra time each day to spend with God.  Maybe reading a few verses each day and then applying them to your life. Extra time to spend in prayer with Him. The more we focus on Him rather than on ourselves, the more we experience true life. 

Father, I pray with John today that my life would become less so that you become greater. And in that counterintuitive equation I thank you that you will bring me the most satisfying life I could ever have. Amen.

The question to consider today: How can I make more room for Jesus in my day?