Rethinking the relationship between pastors and lay leaders

If you are a pastor you have high expectations placed upon you to preach, to be a great administrator and lead well. That you must lead is usually a non-negotiable. But, let's face it, many of us are not wired very significantly in the leadership area - and that's not what we signed up in ministry to do. Yet in most of our congregations there are highly skilled leaders from the business world who are just waiting to be tapped and their skills used in the ministry arena but they are left on the sidelines or asked to usher or serve in a role that is not in alignment with their significant leadership gifts.

God never asked us to be what we cannot be. All of us are wired and gifted in a few specific areas and everything else is a weakness. Our weaknesses will never be our strengths. We need to bring around us a team of qualified individuals who can play to strengths that we do not have so that we can play to strengths that we do have.

The most untapped resources in our churches are lay leaders who could use their leadership skills in the church, come alongside pastors who may not be wired to lead, and as a team, bring a level of leadership to the congregation that would infuse it with huge energy, creativity and missional impact. When we don't tap into those resources we leave much of that impact unused on the table.

What gets int he way of this happening? First, I think it is our assumption that as the pastor we must be the leader. Why? God gave different gifts and if that is not our primary gift we are fooling ourselves that He thinks we can be the prime mover. Certainly we must be a primary spokesperson for the vision but why would we expect that we must be the primary developers of mission, vision and strategy if that is not our gift? It is theologically contradictory.

Second, I think it is often an ego issue. We look at leaders who pastor large churches and we think we should be able to do that (by the way not all of them are good leaders either). Our ego can get in the way of realizing that their gifts are not our gifts. We forget that the mission and effectiveness of our congregation is more important than our ego and that we need help. Yet, surrounded by people who could help us, we sometimes are reluctant to share the leadership ministry of the church in any substantive way or to seek other's counsel, advice or invite them to help us lead more effectively. One day God might ask us way.

Churches need good leadership. I am an advocate of finding the best-possible people and asking them to serve on the senior leadership board of the church and then to take the best of those leaders and bring them to the table to help craft the most missionally compelling ministry paradigm the church could possibly have. It is not about us - it is about Jesus and His Kingdom and bringing the maximum number of people to Him and deploying them in meaningful ministry so that we reach maturity in Christ (Ephesians 4).

The alternative to this kind of Biblical view of gifts and the humility to admit we need help is found in the ineffectiveness of so many churches today and in ministries that founder. Bill is an example. He is the quintessential shepherd/pastor: high relational skills and great caring skills. His preaching skills were good enough that the church he led grew to about 500. Each time it reached the 500 level it was like it hit a ceiling, would level off for a while, then decrease.

The church was filled with highly trained professionals, many of whom had strong leadership gifts and several of whom led huge organizations. Over time, Bill invited many of these onto the board but once there, they experienced huge frustration because they were not invited to help lead the church in any strategic way. That was Bill's prerogative and he saw himself at their level and could not admit that he needed help (and these were his friends who desperately wanted to help him).

When a crisis developed over the lack of congregational direction and people started to migrate out of the church (lack of missional direction will do that), Bill clung to the belief that he was a leader and could solve the problem. He could not and eventually resigned, bitter and angry, under the pressure of a church leadership crisis. Six months later he found himself another congregation to lead where the scenario played itself out again and two years later was asked to leave over failed leadership.

Bill and the two congregations could have been saved a whole lot of pain if he had admitted that missional and directional leadership were not strong suits and had surrounded himself with willing leaders who would have played to their strengths while he played to his and together led their congregations to places of missional effectiveness. But his ego would not let him do this and the churches suffered because of it. Ultimately it is the kingdom that suffers when we don't engage other highly gifted leaders!

Charting a healthy change process

When you are going to propose major changes to an organization it is important to have a clearly defined process up front that you intend to follow and that will help the organization negotiate the whitewater that will result.

Prepare people for coming changes

People do not like surprises. Once you know that you are going to enter into a process of change, let people know and let them know why. You are not communicating final decisions; you are paving the way for changes that are going to come.

Always tie your process and proposed changes to your mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus or culture.

Remember that people are naturally change resistant. Thus if you are going to bring change you must appeal to values that are a higher value than their resistance to change. The discussion is not fundamentally about structure or programs; it is about mission fulfillment (ROM: return on mission). The more you communicate this, the more people will 'get it.'

One of the gurus on change processes, John Kotter, suggests that in order to get people's attention and convince them of the need for change, you need to "create a crisis." In the absence of a crisis, why change anything?

In ministry organizations, the "crisis" is that the lack of change will compromise (or is already compromising) our ability to do what Christ has called us to do. The result of change will be greater return on mission. Again, it is all about mission.

Recruit a guiding coalition

In any key change you are going to make, you want to have a guiding coalition of individuals who are on board and will publicly and privately support the process. This certainly should include all board members and key ministry staff members. (If you have board members or staff members who are not publicly supportive, you have other issues to deal with).

This should also include other people of positive influence in your organization - those who can help the early or late majority who may not understand the need for change. This is not about a lobbying exercise but recognition that people influence people and that within every organization there are key influencers. If these key influencers understand where you are going and the reasons for it, they become voices of reason and encouragement to the rest of the organization on the merits of moving forward. If you find that your key influencers are opposed, you may want to do more homework and groundwork before you move forward. After all, wise leaders are not going to propose something that they think will not have the support it needs to succeed.

A best practice is that before you propose major change, know that it is going to succeed to the best of your ability. You can test the waters by sounding out those who you need to be in the guiding coalition to influence others.

Provide ways for those in your organization to have input.
The higher the stakes in proposed changes, the more critical it is that you provide forums for members of the organization to ask questions and provide suggestions. The more open that leaders are perceived to be, the more likely the organization will be supportive of the process and outcome.

At this stage, proposed changes are seen to be in 'wet cement.' There may well be feedback or suggestions that would cause leaders to tweak or modify certain proposals before the cement hardens. This also allows those who will be affected by the change to speak into the process although they are not the prime movers in the process.

In the process...over-communicate with the organization.Possibly the greatest failure of leaders in a change process is the failure to adequately communicate with their organizations. This does not usually happen intentionally. Leaders already know what is going on and assume others do as well. In addition, once they have communicated, they feel that the job is done. This underestimates, however, the number of times necessary to communicate to a group before a message is heard. When there is not adequate communication, leaders are seen as aloof, arrogant, unaccountable, power hungry - all of which are probably far from the truth.

Trust is gained by leaders, in large part, by three simple disciplines: being missional, communicating well and listening.

Do everything you can to keep anxiety and conflict over possible changes low

As we have noted, anxiety over change often brings out the worst in people - much like weddings and funerals do within family systems. Leaders have a lot invested in major proposals they make and it is normal for them to become defensive when people push back hard or even attack. Whenever anxiety is present in a family system - and organizations are family systems - one of the jobs of leaders is to lower anxiety wherever possible. A key to this is a non-defensive attitude when challenged. If one responds low key and gently to emotional attacks, the level of conflict is usually lowered.

Do not neglect a prayer strategy for change initiatives

Our battle is not against "flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12)." If you are proposing change or a ministry initiative because it will give you a greater return on mission, know that the evil one will oppose you at whatever level he needs to, to keep it from being successful. The bolder your plans, the bolder his response.

And if Satan can bring division in the process, or encourage bad attitudes or sinful junk to surface, he will. Why? Because your changes will make your ministry more effective. Sorry, but he doesn't want that to happen.

Relax, persevere and lead boldly

Change is not about us. Ministry advances are not about us. God has called us to lead boldly, and even more so when leading is not easy. Leaders need to be wise, to respect process and people, and to trust God for the outcome. What will surprise us more often than not is that when we do this right, the vast majority of those we lead will respond positively - even when they are not innovators or early adapters. Why? Because they have the same desire to see Christ honored and His kingdom expanded as we do.

Pursuing wise men and women

Real wisdom is in short supply today. Too few people think deeply and equally few people have so saturated their thinking in Biblical paradigms that wisdom emerges from their lives. When you find a wise person, that individual is a treasure. When we are able to provide wisdom to others we become a treasure and gift to them.

Biblical wisdom is first of all grounded in "the fear of the Lord." It is an acknowledgement that God is above all and that the wise individual takes God into account in all of their thinking, actions, strategies and decisions. For the wise individual, God and the things that matter to God are central to everything!

That means that wisdom is not simply pragmatism. A course of action can be pragmatic but not take into account God's view of the matter. God's perspective, whether practical or pragmatic is central to a wise individual.

Wisdom is also the ability to understand a situation and know how to respond in a way that would please God, demonstrate mercy, fairness and righteousness, and accomplish what God has given us to accomplish.

Wise people are able to take complex issues and many moving parts and find a solution while keeping God's perspective or character in the center of the equation. That is a gift indeed.

Not all of us are given that gift but all of us have access to people who God has gifted in that way. Where you find them, get to know them, dialogue with them, ask them questions and look for their perspective. They will in turn ask you questions that will help focus the issues on what is most important and help you get to a wise solution.

Who are the wise people in your life? Do you spend enough time with them? I have a handful of wise people around me and they are a huge gift.

Finding the perfect chair

I have a fondness for comfortable leather chairs. In fact, I recently spent several months looking for the perfect leather chair for my home study. In the process I sat in many chairs in many stores, looking for the one that fit me the best. From that chair I can comfortably write this blog post.

Finding that perfect chair is a lot like finding the perfect work spot where our work responsibilities are uniquely designed to fit our passions, our skill sets and our sweet spot (those areas where we have great skill and strength). If you sit in a chair like that in your work you are a lucky individual indeed and it often does not take place until our forties and fifties when we understand ourselves more fully and have a team around us that makes it possible for various members to play to their strengths and thus, we to ours.

Our sweet spot is where we are most effective, where we are energized and where the responsibilities of our jobs are in line with our unique gifting and wiring. For me that means a job that allows me to architect the vision of an organization, mentor key leaders of the ministry, resource the ministry financially and otherwise and write. If I can spend a minimum of 60% of my time in those areas and better yet 80% of my time in those areas, I will be happy, challenged and effective. That is my perfect chair.

When less than 60% of our time is spent in areas of our sweet spot (which means that we are not that effective at them and that they drain rather than energize us) we will find ourselves fatigued and not very satisfied. If we agree that God wired us in a certain way, it then becomes imperative that we do what we can to spend as much of our time in the zone where he wired us rather than trying to do (not very effectively) those things we were not wired to do.

We usually start out our work careers doing many thing. Over the years we recognize that out of those many things we actually are best at a few things (none of us are great at more than two or three things). So our challenge is to figure out a way to get seated in a chair that has us doing primarily those things that we are really good at doing.

Some suggestions on getting there:

1. Talk to your supervisor or board about how you are wired and where you are most effective and satisfied and ask if you can dialogue about a restructuring of your job so that you are able to spend 60 to 80 percent of your time in those areas
2. If you are a ministry leader, intentionally build a staff or team around you that allows you to play to your strengths and offload to other gifted people those things they do well but you don't do well.
3. Be willing to give up things that you feel are obligations but not in your sweet spot and allow others to take them on. The fewer things we do that are focused in our sweet spots, the more effective we are.
4. Build a culture in your organization that says, to the very best of our ability we get people into their sweet spot even if it means that we annually look at job responsibilities and how we can best configure our staff for maximum effectiveness and job satisfaction. The book, Leading From The Sandbox can be of help to you in this.
5. Don't be satisfied with a chair that does not fit you. When you are uncomfortable you won't be happy or effective. If you cannot redefine within your organization you may need to look for a chair in another. Your legacy (what you leave behind) is dependent on it.

It takes time to find the perfect work chair but if you can and when you do you begin to live in the flow of everything God made you to be and it is a wonderful experience.

Investing in your staff

One of the highest callings in Christian leadership is to be in a position where one must discern the character, gifts, skills and abilities of others and direct them to a meaningful, purposeful, and fulfilling ministry. God’s call in our life is always to be in a context where we can grow in him and effectively serve him, using the gifts and talents that he has given us to serve his Kingdom communities (the Church) and be a witness to his compassion and love.

Therefore, one of the most important tasks of a leader is discerning proper placement for the service of those they lead. (I Corinthians 12). And then to mentor, develop and coach them in that spot.

Many leaders do not understand either the priority or the value of making a significant investment in their staff. From a priority standpoint, the better one's staff, and the better they are positioned for success and the better they are developed and empowered, the more missional success your ministry will achieve. Because ministry happens through people, the larger your ministry the less it will be directly impacted by you and the more it will be impacted by others. Therefore your investment in others becomes one of your most critical tasks.

From a value standpoint, staff who are invested in to help them grow, develop and work from their strengths, not only become better but they become deeply loyal to your organization.

As I have reflected on the senior level leaders in our organization who oversee many others it is my conviction that at least 25% of their time must be spent in the development, coaching, mentoring and placement of people so that they reach their full potential.

I believe that senior pastors have the same obligation with their staff, leaders and volunteers. The best ministries are those that have a huge commitment to develop and release their staff in line with the gifting God has given them.

The largest inhibitor to this practice is that many of us did not go into ministry to develop others but to do ministry ourselves. Thus as our leadership position grows or our ministry grows we continue to do ministry rather than making the fundamental shift to a leadership role of developing our staff for their maximum success - and therefore for your maximum success!

Take a look at your calendar and ask the question, in the course of my month, how much time do I spend in the mentoring, developing and coaching of those who report to me or to my larger staff (if some report to you through others). Many of us would find that we spend very little time in that arena yet it is one of the most important things we should be doing. How are you doing?

Growing our wisdom one decision at a time

There is much written in Scripture about wisdom. We all want it, all believe we have it and certainly don't like the alternative - being a fool. The thing about wisdom is that like a tree it grows slowly, one ring at a time, one layer at a time, one decision at a time and it is the accumulative layers of right thinking and right decisions and right priorities and right behaviors that build true wisdom.

Wisdom starts with "The Fear of the Lord." There is a lot wrapped up in that simple statement but fundamentally it is the acknowledgement that God's ways for our lives are the right ways even though we are constantly challenged by our selfish hearts, the media and our society that there are "better" ways than His ways. Or to put it another way, His ways are great, as long as they don't get in the way of My ways! When they do, well, lets say it is negotiable.

Those who grow little rings of wisdom have made the decision that His ways are indeed the right ways and they consciously and intentionally align their lives to be in sync with his ways. Wisdom, then is not just how we think, it is directly connected to the life choices we make and our obedience to God. It is not just about wise decisions, but about wise living.

Wisdom is also about what we choose not to do. Proverbs is a book that contrasts two types of people. The wise and the fool! Fools choose certain paths and the wise other paths. For instance, fools do not listen to other wise people. Fools, act on their own without consulting God or others. Fools are not discerning about their advisers or actions. It is an interesting exercise to look at the ways of the fool and the ways of the wise. Avoiding the practices of the former and committing to the practices of the latter are the way of wisdom.

Wisdom then is also about discernment: the discernment to avoid certain behaviors, decisions, actions and people, and the discernment to choose certain behaviors, decisions, actions and people. Fools lack discernment while the wise specialize in discernment.

Wise people are not born that way. They have chosen to grow it one decision, one action, one behavior and one discerning choice at a time until the cumulative effect is to default to a wise and Godly choice over a foolish and selfish choice. Like the rings of a tree, it is one season at a time that eventually shows its unique and faithful character, ring after ring after ring.

It does not happen by accident! It is a choice we make. Each time we have a choice.

Embracing the discipline of thinking deeply

Good leaders are good thinkers. They have embraced the "discipline" of thinking - and it is a discipline that can be learned, sharpened and honed with time and practice.

There are others who have ambition but not the will to think deeply. Instead of thinking deeply they copy ideas of others and apply them to their ministry, hoping for the same results. Usually they don't get the same results because they did not understand the underpinnings of the strategy that came from deep strategic thought.

The more leadership responsibility one has the more one needs to set aside for thinking - away from distractions, email, and interruptions. Where you have other deeply insightful and strategic people on staff you will want to engage them in dialogue on critical issues you face. Some think best in solitude, some think best in dialogue. Either way, the intellectual capital of others plays a major role in coming to the best solutions.

As an organizational leader, I allocate about 25% of my time for thinking, analysis, considering options and dialoguing with other key individuals. Most people gravitate toward action. Leaders activate but only after a lot of deep thinking.

Leaders also practice "grey thought." Thinking grey is the ability to evaluate and consider many different options - some of them contradictory - without coming to a conclusion until one needs to. Here is an irony. Great leaders put off making decisions as long as they can so that they can do all the grey thinking possible. That way when they come to a conclusion, they have considered as many of the ramifications as possible and have a much higher wisdom and success ratio than those who make quick decisions.

Distractions are the greatest threat to deep thinking. Twitter, facebook, CNN, Fox, Sirius, the pace of life, and the obligations we have all rob us of think time. They are good if used well and unhelpful if not. Those who run too fast - even with great success - often crash. They lose their bearings that could have been saved if they had taken the time to consider and think about their ministry and their personal life. This is why my study is a haven for me, it is a place to stay grounded, think deeply and avoid distractions.

Our own spiritual development is integrally tied to the discipline of thinking. One of the reasons for the shallow discipleship of our world today is that we don't take the time to consider the implications of what God says in his word. Reading his word or listening to a message is easy. Making thoughtful application of that word to our lives is far more complex and difficult.

Those who display Biblical wisdom are people who think deeply rather than shallowly and often rather than seldom.