A key to wisdom is introspection - a rare commodity in a hurried world

 

Wisdom cannot be microwaved! It comes from deep reflection, asking the right questions and careful self analysis. That is why it is in short supply today. Our world values quick answers and fast results. It favors the busy. Wisdom, however, favors introspection, truth and self-analysis.

Given that, what are some of the keys to becoming a person of wisdom?

Times of solitude

I am indebted to Henri Nouen on his insights into the necessity of solitude for personal transformation. He often wrote of the necessity of solitude - without the distractions of media or others - where we were forced to think deeply about the scaffolding of our lives. In fact, he suggested that we often avoid solitude because of what we might find when we have to face our true selves. Wisdom favors those who can and will look deeply into themselves, like King David, to see if there are any displeasing ways in us. 

A source of truth

There is no wisdom without an unchanging source of truth that becomes the mirror against which we examine ourselves. For Christ followers, this is Scripture. But here is the problem: Most of us are too busy to read Scripture and think through its implications for our lives, decisions, thinking, attitudes and words. We want wisdom but we don't want to pay the price for it. Or, we read the latest book on leadership, self help (good as those are) and ignore the foundational truth of God's Word on which wisdom is always based. 

Solomon said it this way in Proverbs 2:1-8. "My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones."

The wisdom of others

Wise individuals are readers. They have the humility to understand that they need many mentors and many of those mentors can be found in reading the wisdom of others. I don't have many books - I have many mentors on my shelves. Each one teaches me something about life and challenges my thinking. 

A journal

Why keep a journal? It helps us to reflect on our lives, lessons we are learning, changes we would like to make and clarify our next steps. As Solomon wrote, finding wisdom is like mining for it, searching for its nuggets and brining our lives into alignment with that wisdom. There is no better way to accomplish this than to take the time to clarify your observations and commitments through the discipline of writing. 

The common denominator in introspection and wisdom

The common denominator - and one reason there is not enough wisdom evidenced in our world is that it takes time. Wisdom cannot be microwaved. It is developed over time, taking the time to think deeply so that we can apply the principles to our lives and live with intention and wisdom. We can live fast and come to the end of our lives having missed the most important truths by which to live or we can live slower and take the time to live out those truths today. 

What wise people know about gossip

Gossip is one of the most destructive habits we can engage in. Often it is nothing less than character assassination since our information is often incomplete, second hand and wrong. Wise people know four things about bad news they hear regarding others.

One: There is always more to a story. Usually when we hear bad news about another person it is at best partial news. Take a marriage conflict or a divorce. Hearing from one partner does not give one a complete picture. There is always more to a story. Wise individuals think grey about negative information passed on about others because they know there is always more to a story.

Two: There is always the rest of the story. Even when people do bad things, that need not be the end of the story because with redemption and change the end of the story can be different than the current story. Wise people know that we need to give people the opportunity to change their story rather than assume their current story is the full story.

Three: Good people can do bad things. Do you doubt this? Consider yourself. Each of us do bad things but we don't consider ourselves bad people. God sees us as holy people who still sin. Therefore, don't write others off because of their bad actions. Wise people know that good people can do bad things and don't demonize the person.

Four: People love to believe and share the worst about others rather than the best. It is our lower nature to share the worst about others rather than the best about others. We are really good at it. Perhaps it makes us feel better about ourselves. Wise people know this tendency and keep in mind that there are likely very good things about the character and behavior of those they are hearing negative things about.

These four truths can change our paradigms when it comes to gossip. Wise people always keep these in mind and therefore resist gossip. It also gives them a more compassionate and gracious response to those who have done bad things. It need not be the end of the story and it is unlikely the full story.

The pursuit of wisdom

Wisdom in our world is short supply. It has been supplanted by instant gratification, pragmatism, a pursuit of the superficial and hectic schedules that drive out reflection and intentional living. Wisdom is a trait all of us desire but one that many are not willing to pay the cost for.

Wisdom comes at a cost just as any other pursuit of value does. Things of great value do not come cheaply or easily. 

It was the writer of Proverbs that said "My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding (Proverbs 1:1-6)."

At its most foundational level, wisdom comes from and mirrors God who is the source of all wisdom. Thus it goes without saying that understanding Him and His desires for our lives is central to learning to walk in wisdom. We do that by spending quality time in the Scriptures which is where we start to understand the heart of God, the principles of God and what it means to follow him. The Scriptures are called the ancient paths in Proverbs and those ancient paths are the paths of wisdom. 

Ironically, while we love to be cutting edge and modern and up to date - the wise individual walks the ancient paths that God laid down for us. The path to wisdom in the current world is an ancient path found in the unchanging character of God.

In the Scriptures we find the word of God but it is in prayer that we commune with God. Where we talk face to face as it were and wrestle with the issues of life and His work in our lives. Prayer is time exposure to God and in that time together we don't change God's heart but our heart becomes more like his. As our hearts become like His heart we start to desire to live by His wisdom.

Wisdom does not become operable in our lives until we choose to take what we have learned in Scripture and apply it to the situations we face on a daily basis. That takes deep reflection on our part and is the reason that many choose to journal - recording their thoughts, clarifying their priorities and measuring their lives against the Ancient Paths laid down by God. It is not possible to pursue wisdom without regular reflection, evaluation and realignment of our lives.

In our pursuit of wisdom, choosing to spend time with people of wisdom is one of the best investments we can make. Other wise people help us to think more wisely ourselves. They ask great questions and offer us perspectives that others would not. Wise friends are not caught up in the zeitgeist (beliefs, ideas and spirit of an era) but in the character of an unchanging God.

The magic, pain and wisdom of reflection

There is no wisdom without reflection. Deep thinking brings understanding and truth and yet we do it too seldom because it requires two commodities rare in our lives: silence and time alone. Precious space for our minds to be cleared of distractions. Without reflection we will not learn the lessons of our past, have wisdom for the present or chart a wise course for the future.

There is magic in reflection when we are able to connect the dots of our lives with insights into ourselves or God or the journey we are on. It is why I journal and walk and reflect. It is why David of the Old Testament meditated and reflected on the truths of God and one can discern his own connecting of the dots in the Psalms that he wrote. Those who write know the magic of insights that come in the reflective solitude of words meeting paper.

If there is a reason we don't reflect more, perhaps it is because along with magic, reflection can bring pain. Things we have done that hurt us or others, things others have done that hurt us, the regrets of life that can accumulate over time. Scriptures speak of Godly sorrow, sadness over actions or words that none of us escape this side of heaven. Yet even this is a blessing as we contemplate how we will live in the future, experience once again the grace of God that always encompasses our brokenness and overwhelms us with His limitless love. Without reflection on our brokenness we cannot experience Gods grace or live in  true humility.

There is a direct correlation between the quality of our reflection and the wisdom with which we live our lives. Wisdom requires reflection: time to consider our motivations, the paths we walk, priorities we establish and the plans we are making. Insight into any of these requires deep reflection.

Why do we read C.S. Lewis, the Psalms, or devotional books? Because the writers were people of deep reflection and we are blessed by their insights. Each of us can do the same.

The important role of wisdom and discernment in leadership

I have met leaders in the Christian arena who are deeply political and find ways to negotiate their agenda by alliances and tactics that would make Washington proud. At the other end of the spectrum are leaders who have rejected that approach and simply believe that if they do the right thing (sans politics) that they are leading well, no matter what the consequences. 

I would like to propose a third alternative: Leading in wisdom and discernment. As was said about David in Psalm 78, "David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them." Skillful hands refers to a leadership that was rich in wisdom and discernment. 

Political leadership is maneuvering, manipulating and plotting to get one's agenda. Wisdom is about discerning how to move forward in a way that is productive while understanding the dynamics of organizational leadership and people but without manipulation or coercion. 

Wisdom and discernment does take into account potential individuals or groups who may not want to play ball or cooperate with a leader's decision or direction because that is wise. The difference is in how we seek to achieve our agenda. By manipulation and outsmarting or through discernment and wisdom as how best to proceed? It is being in the words of Jesus as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." This can mean understanding the political agendas of others and responding appropriately without being political or manipulative ourselves.

Too many Christian leaders get outsmarted by people who have ill motives and personal agendas because we cannot believe that someone would play dirty: they are naive. That is where shrewdness comes in - understanding where others are coming from and what their agenda may be. Innocence comes in when we don't respond with the same tactics. While I don't want to stoop to unhealthy tactics I also want to be highly discerning about the actions and motives of others who can and sometimes do hurt ministry.

Wisdom and discernment require time to think and ponder key decisions that we are thinking about making. Is the timing right? How will they be received? Who is going to push back and why? What are the potential unintended consequences? Whose agreement would it be wise to have on the front end? How do we communicate the decision? And so on. In fact, as a leader I want to be one step ahead of others rather than one step back. That is discernment! And wisdom.

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Leaders and wisdom: Six important principles that contribute to wise decision making

How often have you watched a leader, ministry or company do something incredibly stupid with significant unintended consequences? The visceral reaction of "that was really dumb" is really another way of saying, "that decision lacked wisdom." Let's be clear, all of at some time have been guilty of acting with a lack of wisdom. For leaders, however, wisdom is one of the most important commodities and its deficit over time can lead to significant leadership failures. 

Wikipedia defines wisdom as "the ability to think and act utilizing knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense and insight." In other words, it is the ability to take information that is available to everyone, synthesize it well and apply it to a specific situation for the best possible result. 

While I believe there is a spiritual gift of wisdom and that the Holy Spirit is a giver of wisdom, the components needed to make wise choices and decisions are available to believers. The question is why some make better decisions than others. For all of us this is an important question. For leaders it is especially important as their decisions impact others around them.

I would suggest that the answer lies in these arenas:

1. Wise leaders take longer to think through a decision allowing the information they have and the various consequences of the decision to be understood before they act.
2. Wise leaders engage others in the decision making process, knowing that they are unlikely to see all the angles of the situation well. They especially talk to the stakeholders who will be impacted by their decisions.
3. Wise leaders ask God for divine insight that comes through the Holy Spirit.
4. Wise leaders do not act out of emotion but out of conviction and are able to wait till emotions have cooled.
5. Wise leaders have a set of guiding values and principles that guide their lives and will not violate those in making decisions. This prevents them from straying from their own convictions.
6. Wise leaders are willing to back away from their decision if it becomes clear that they have missed something important.

All of us have access to the same information. It is how we utilize that information in making decisions that makes the difference between wise and unwise decisions.

(Written from Berlin, Germany)

Just because something sounds spiritual does not mean that it is or that it is wise

I am always amused or bemused by folks who parse Scripture so closely to come up with non-negotiables that sound deeply spiritual but are in fact deeply counter productive.

Take a church board I have been watching recently where every decision must be made unanimously because that is what God would want. Really? First off, the New Testament calls to unity have nothing to do with how boards make decisions. Second, even the leaders in the New Testament did not always agree. Third, such a practice means that one individual can hold up an entire board and church because unanimity is required.

However spiritual it sounds, it makes for dysfunctional boards and decision making. And in practice, the board I have been watching has made some terrible decisions and has been unable to get its act together precisely because everything must be unanimous. What you end up with are decisions at the lowest denominator that can be negotiated or a board with a few dominant voices with the rest being “yes” people. It is actually one of the most unhealthy ways to make decisions because it puts tremendous pressure on those who might disagree to come to agreement. After all unless they do, there is no way forward.

Or take the practice where all pastors must be on the board because they are elders. It sounds spiritual but in practice it makes it nearly impossible for the senior leader to exercise leadership and authority over his staff - who by virtue of being board members - are also his bosses.  Periodically I receive calls from senior pastors who wonder how to get at issues with a staff member who is also a member of his board. Good question! This practice also confuses management (what staff do) with governance (what boards do). This spiritual sounding practice almost never works in the long run.

Then there are those churches who have a policy that they will never borrow money because of a rigid reading of one verse in the New Testament that does not speak to that issue clearly anyway. For some reason it is OK to borrow money to purchase a house but not build a church. Now a congregation may choose to build debt free but that is a choice not a requirement dictated by Scripture.

The next time you hear something that sounds spiritual but which causes complications ask yourself the question: Is it really a biblical mandate or it is someone’s personal preference that they have couched in spiritual language and with Biblical texts that do not in fact require a certain practice. Usually it has to do with someone wanting their own way and exercising control. The opposite of what is truly spiritual which is a willingness to abide by the decisions of the group.

Conventional wisdom is conventional but often not wisdom

There is a poster that I have never forgotten: If you always do what you always did you always get what you always got. People of influence understand that truth and don’t want to “get what they always got.” They are never satisfied with the status quo but want better, more effective, and a greater ROM (Return on Mission).

For example, in the past several decades we have assumed (conventional wisdom) that if we do certain things in our churches that those things will result in mature believers. Recent studies have rocked the church world indicating that this conventional wisdom was conventional but not wisdom as the promised maturity among congregants is in short supply. Because of that realization there is a massive effort underway today to determine better ways to see spiritual transformation take place.

In another example, the church world has been dramatically changed in the past decade by “video venues.” Essentially these are services that use the video from the main service location to other locations either on church property or on distant campuses. When the idea was first proposed people said, “no one will watch a message on video” (conventional wisdom). Today the practice is helping ministries grow all over the world using technology. It took a handful of church leaders who said, “I bet this will work, let’s try it.”

The world of missions has been going through a significant transformation as well. One of the most significant transformations has been the shift of missionaries from being primarily hands on practitioners (they are the experts and do ministry) to that of being primarily coaches and trainers (working alongside indigenous leaders) to raise up and champion healthy national workers who in most cases can do better in their context than we can. That shift took place when a number of mission leaders started to ask if there was not a better way to reach a world that has exploded from 1.7 Billion in 1900 to 7 billion today.

There are many such shifts that literally change the ministry landscape. But they start with a leader who asks why things are done the way they are, thinks deeply and comes up with a solution that is radically different than conventional wisdom that results in significant ministry leverage.

Contrarian thinking is characterized by these elements:

 Conventional wisdom is not simply accepted as wisdom

 Current practices are always scrutinized for better ways

 The questions “why” or “why not” are frequent

 Knowing what others are doing and why is constant

 Multiple voices are encouraged to speak into issues

 Risk taking and innovation are valued

 Leveraging for maximum ministry results is the constant goal

 Thinking grey is common

Innovation comes from thinking differently. And this is a key requirement for leaders of deep influence: They take the time to think, probe, question, dialogue, mull, read, talk to others of deep influence and always question what is for the sake of what could be.

The nemesis of leaders is the pace at which they run which is why the issue of intentional living is so critical. Unless I build significant “think time” into my schedule I don’t even have the time to question conventional wisdom and therefore am unlikely to see significant breakthroughs in the ministry I lead. Yet, how many of us really want to do the same thing over for the same results? It may be that “think time” needs to be at the very top of our list if we want to be people of deep influence.

Think time does not mean simply sitting still. For me, my best thinking comes either when I am writing or doing something deeply relaxing like fly fishing. In both cases, my mind clears of other issues and I can focus in a relaxed way on issues that I have been considering. In the absence of other distractions I come to clarity and ways in which our organization can be better at what it does. In fact, my annual weeks in Montana on vacation and fly fishing are some of the most productive weeks for ReachGlobal and the writing I do.

The busier I am with activity, the less creative thinking I do. And while I may fool myself into thinking that all that activity is critical the truth is that it takes only one significant breakthrough to change the whole equation and take us to a whole new level of ministry – but that significant breakthrough only usually comes when we have time to think. Activity is often the enemy of better ministry paradigms.

Pursuing wise men and women

Real wisdom is in short supply today. Too few people think deeply and equally few people have so saturated their thinking in Biblical paradigms that wisdom emerges from their lives. When you find a wise person, that individual is a treasure. When we are able to provide wisdom to others we become a treasure and gift to them.

Biblical wisdom is first of all grounded in "the fear of the Lord." It is an acknowledgement that God is above all and that the wise individual takes God into account in all of their thinking, actions, strategies and decisions. For the wise individual, God and the things that matter to God are central to everything!

That means that wisdom is not simply pragmatism. A course of action can be pragmatic but not take into account God's view of the matter. God's perspective, whether practical or pragmatic is central to a wise individual.

Wisdom is also the ability to understand a situation and know how to respond in a way that would please God, demonstrate mercy, fairness and righteousness, and accomplish what God has given us to accomplish.

Wise people are able to take complex issues and many moving parts and find a solution while keeping God's perspective or character in the center of the equation. That is a gift indeed.

Not all of us are given that gift but all of us have access to people who God has gifted in that way. Where you find them, get to know them, dialogue with them, ask them questions and look for their perspective. They will in turn ask you questions that will help focus the issues on what is most important and help you get to a wise solution.

Who are the wise people in your life? Do you spend enough time with them? I have a handful of wise people around me and they are a huge gift.

Growing our wisdom one decision at a time

There is much written in Scripture about wisdom. We all want it, all believe we have it and certainly don't like the alternative - being a fool. The thing about wisdom is that like a tree it grows slowly, one ring at a time, one layer at a time, one decision at a time and it is the accumulative layers of right thinking and right decisions and right priorities and right behaviors that build true wisdom.

Wisdom starts with "The Fear of the Lord." There is a lot wrapped up in that simple statement but fundamentally it is the acknowledgement that God's ways for our lives are the right ways even though we are constantly challenged by our selfish hearts, the media and our society that there are "better" ways than His ways. Or to put it another way, His ways are great, as long as they don't get in the way of My ways! When they do, well, lets say it is negotiable.

Those who grow little rings of wisdom have made the decision that His ways are indeed the right ways and they consciously and intentionally align their lives to be in sync with his ways. Wisdom, then is not just how we think, it is directly connected to the life choices we make and our obedience to God. It is not just about wise decisions, but about wise living.

Wisdom is also about what we choose not to do. Proverbs is a book that contrasts two types of people. The wise and the fool! Fools choose certain paths and the wise other paths. For instance, fools do not listen to other wise people. Fools, act on their own without consulting God or others. Fools are not discerning about their advisers or actions. It is an interesting exercise to look at the ways of the fool and the ways of the wise. Avoiding the practices of the former and committing to the practices of the latter are the way of wisdom.

Wisdom then is also about discernment: the discernment to avoid certain behaviors, decisions, actions and people, and the discernment to choose certain behaviors, decisions, actions and people. Fools lack discernment while the wise specialize in discernment.

Wise people are not born that way. They have chosen to grow it one decision, one action, one behavior and one discerning choice at a time until the cumulative effect is to default to a wise and Godly choice over a foolish and selfish choice. Like the rings of a tree, it is one season at a time that eventually shows its unique and faithful character, ring after ring after ring.

It does not happen by accident! It is a choice we make. Each time we have a choice.

Where are our Christian Statesmen and Stateswomen today?

With the loss of yet another christian statesman in the person of Chuck Colson and a generation that is leaving us it begs the question as to who will carry that role in the future. When Billy Graham goes to be with Jesus the most visible statesman of our generation will be gone and in many ways his voice has been fading already.


Because many of us can play that role in our small corner of the world I have been reflecting on what the characteristics of a Christian statesman or stateswoman would look like. Here my thoughts.


They are deeply grounded in Jesus and in a thoroughly Christian worldview. These are people who think deeply about the issues of society and how those issues intersect with the values and priorities of God. Issues like justice, fairness, the ability to speak in the public square, bringing our deepest values into the marketplace and  congruity between what we espouse and how we live. Chuck Colson, John Stott, Francis Schaeffer, Mother Theresa and Timothy Keller are examples of those who have bridged the sacred/secular divide through a Christian worldview. Each brought or bring spiritual wisdom to bear on the challenges of our society.


They are publicly non-partisan individuals who build bridges instead of walls. One of the great barriers to Christian statesmanship today is the divisiveness of our political system. I honor each individual of faith who works in that difficult environment but by its very nature it is partisan and dividing rather than bridge building and uniting (with few exceptions).


Jesus is not the God of the Green Party, the Libertarians, the Republicans or the Democrats. He is the Lord of all and His truth supersedes all partisan squabbles. Thus it is a huge mistake for those who would speak for God on any issue to become spokespersons at the same time for any political party. We do speak to issues that are close to God's heart. We do not marry our position with a party because God is not the God of any political party. In western democracies, no party has a corner on the truth and all have a corner on some truth.


All of us have political views but Christian statesmen and women speak to the issues that transcend any party. They speak from a position of truth, not politics and from a deeply held Christian world view. In doing so they can build bridges across political parties and do what politics can only rarely do - bring people together rather than divide.


They are deeply humble individuals who are not looking for personal fame or recognition. Here is an irony. While power, fame and position are the coinage of our world, people are drawn to the truly humble who are not trading on any of those but only on deeply held belief and truth. What else did Mother Theresa have? Certainly no power or position and her fame (what she did not ask for) was a direct result of her humble service. Mother Theresa could speak truth in places of power where it made people deeply uncomfortable because of the power of her very life.


The minute that humility gives way to pride, the Christian statesman or woman have lost their ability to speak with clarity on any subject and indeed the desire to fan the flame of adulation will cause them to modify their message because truth is rarely popular in the long run.


They are diplomatic and loving even in their truth telling. One of the reasons that Christian states-people build bridges is that they are kind, compassionate, humble and kind with people - especially those who disagree with them. What soul was more kind and gentle than John Stott? Who could not like his self effacing personality, easy smile and kind actions? Why was it that Chuck Colson, one of the most partisan individuals prior to his faith could build bridges that transcended politics? Even when Mother Theresa was at her feistiest who could get in her face?


When prophets get angry they lose their audience, with good reason. Christian states-people reflect the character, attitudes and relationships of Christ. 


I don't know who the next Christian states-people will be, at least the prominent ones. I do know that all of us can live out these qualities in our corner of the world, with the people we know and perhaps hundreds of thousands of smaller Christian states-people is more powerful than an well known handful.

Sages among us

Sage is almost synonymous with wisdom. Specifically, it is the wisdom that can only come with experience and a life lived long. In a day when we celebrate youth, we often miss what youth need more than anything else: the wisdom and counsel of those who have followed Jesus and gone the distance well. 


When I listen to the life stories of sages I know I am always amazed at the experiences they have had, the lessons they learned along the way, how they overcame adversity and even how they live with the challenges of advanced age. One of my personal sage heroes died recently at 103. She was a woman full of wisdom, experience and deep faith.


One church I know has asked it's sages to share their stories, one each month, at length. They have recorded the sessions and are building a library of shared wisdom. More importantly, they are reminding the rest of the church that there are people among them who have withstood the test of time and whom we ought to honor and learn from. 


The elderly in society are often marginalized as unimportant. In the church, these individuals ought to be honored: they are the examples to us of what it means to go the distance, stay the course and live out their faith over the long haul. Further, they have a wealth of wisdom that needs to be shared. 


Does you congregation have a way to tap into the sages among you? Can we move from programs to keep our seniors happy to proactively seeing them as sages with something to teach the rest of us? Many of them are Hebrews 11 heroes who have walked the walk, talked the talk and gone the distance. Rather than marginalize them, we need to honor them.

Seven practices of leader learners

The task of leading becomes ever more challenging given the forces and pace of change. In addition, our busyness as leaders gets in the way of our ability to process, think and reflect on the key issues our organizations face now and in the future. There are, however, seven practices of leader learners that can change the very nature of our leadership. I use the term leader learners deliberately. Not all leaders are learners and not all learners are leaders but leaders who are also learners have a powerful combination.

1. Read widely. Anyone looking at my library would say that it is eclectic: biographies, science, psychology, theology, fiction, classics and the new. Wide reading expands our minds to think bigger thoughts, to prompt new ideas and to give us a rich knowledge base from which to draw life, leadership and practical skills. Reading beyond our expertise area is particularly enriching.

2. Ask questions. We are surrounded by people who do interesting things. Regardless of their occupation or expertise, asking a lot of questions expands our own thinking. What is their strategy, what informs their decisions, why did they do what they did, what is the biggest dumb tax they have paid and what are they learning presently? Learn from others.

3. Think deeply. A friend tells me the story of Bill Gates at a resort in Hawaii where he just sat, rocking back and forth for most of a day - thinking. Thinking deeply is a lost art because we have far too many distractions that vie for our attention. Taking the time to think deeply over issues that matter yields insights that are had no other way.

4. Think differently. Common wisdom is very common and often not wisdom. Question everything! Why do we do what we do the way we do it? Are their "game changers" that would take us to a whole new level rather than a small tweak? Look for contrarian thinkers who give you advice that you might not even agree with but which causes you to consider. Innovators are people who are always asking the why question. They can be irritating but they are also the people who leapfrog others because they think differently.

5. Hang with innovators and creative folks. I am not the most creative guy in the world but I know a lot of people who are and the more time I spend with them the more creatively I think. I especially love time with young creative leaders who see life through a different lens than I do at 55. I need them to stay young!

6. Pray for wisdom and insight. They Holy Spirit has intelligence about what we do that we don't! Ask Him for insight and wisdom and expect that He will talk back. I am convinced that the best ideas I have had did not come from me but came from Him. Ask and you shall receive!

7. Whiteboard monthly. Take just one big rock a month, get the right people into a room and have a whiteboard session around that issue. You will be surprised what the combined intelligence will yield compared to you alone. So simple, but it takes time. I rarely tackle an issue alone. I want the multiplication factor of bright folks and their combined intelligence for the best solution.

The common denominator of these seven practices is time and intentionality. Of course that is what it takes to be a leader learner.

Every sentence we speak is an expression of our inner spiritual condition

If the discourse on CNN, Fox, or CNBC are any indication, the level of dialogue, conversation and discussion in our world has continued to sink to new lows. Even among God's people, there is often a great deal of carelessness in what we say and how we say it. Yet, Jesus was clear that what comes out of our mouths reflects the contents of our hearts and our words for better or for worse reflect our followership of Jesus.

Scripture would encourage us to reclaim wise, considered and honoring speech. Solomon wisely wrote, "Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few (Ecclesiastes 5:1-3)." Or as David wrote, "May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer (Psalm 19:13-14)." 


Words matter. Words either lift the reputation of Jesus or bring it down. Words encourage or discourage. Words heal or wound. Words either take into consideration God's point of view on issues or merely ours. Words are powerful and can cause pain for a lifetime or healing from a lifetime of pain. Words reflect the life giving of Jesus or the life taking of the evil one. Careless words hurt while considered words bring life. Words matter.  Every sentence we speak is an expression of our inner spiritual condition.


Here are some biblical principles regarding our words, speech and conversation.

• Coarse and vulgar language does not honor God.
• The wise listen, evaluate and consider before talking. It is considered rather than careless speech.
• When needing to speak truth we do so in love, humility and with words that bring people toward us rather than push them away.
• Gossip, slander and second hand information are rigorously avoided.
• Our conversation should build others up and encourage them in their life and faith.
• Our words are either life giving or life taking: the first reflects Jesus and the second reflects the evil one (John 10:10).
• Our opinions (words) should be reflective of what we understand God would have to say about any given situation.
• Our words either bring people nearer to God or push them further away. Our words either lift ourselves up or lift God up.
• We will account for all the words we speak in our lifetimes so we ought to speak with eternity in mind.

Never underestimate the power of our words for good or evil. How many of us remember words spoken to us that have hurt for a lifetime - and words of healing that have been deeply healing. Because so much of our life involves, words, speaking, conversation and dialogue, much of our life is defined by the words we speak. Much of our impact on others is defined by the words we speak in their presence. Most of all they reflect the contents of our hearts and minds. 

Leaders set the standard of discourse in their organization as parents do in the home. In all conversations each of us sets the tone by how we choose to communicate. Our words have great influence over others. 


May we be Jesus with our words and speech!

When leaders receive pushback

As leaders we have limited time, energy and leadership capital. We also have agendas for our team or organization that we believe is helpful and directionally sound which is what leaders by definition do. But not all of those agendas are equally important and some will face significant pushback. Knowing when to yield, when to wait and when to press on is an important trait of a healthy leader.

Pushback from your team (or board) can mean a number of different things. It can mean that they are not ready for your proposal and you need to do additional work to explain or prepare them. It can mean that there is something in your proposal that they are cautious of – which is a good thing to pay attention to as a leader. It may mean that you have not done a good enough job of explaining the benefits of the proposed direction.

When pushback comes the first key is not to react or go on the defensive. Both reactivity and defensiveness send a message that we are closed to dialogue, questions or analysis. And it indicates that getting our way is personal which is the wrong message to send. In fact, welcoming questions, concerns or dialogue and acknowledging their legitimacy brings those who raise them into the proposal in a positive way.

Honest dialogue around the idea you have put on the table – without defensiveness – often leads to additional shaping of your proposal that not only strengthens it but leads to the ownership of others who now also have a stake in the idea. Remember, you have had time to process the idea – they have not. You have put your stamp on the proposal, allowing them to do the same brings mutual ownership.

If after dialogue there is still not mutual ownership or consensus, it is often wise to suggest that the group take more time at a later date to discuss it and simply give it time. Middle and late adaptors need time to process, think and reflect before feeling good about a major decision. Giving it time also indicates that you are not going to “run over them” to achieve your wishes but desire the team or board to be with you in it. Whenever we try to force people to agree we lose leadership coinage because they feel violated and disempowered. Sometimes we simply need to wait until there is better understanding. Waiting is far better than dying on the wrong hill.

Leaders who must get their own way are usually poor leaders who lose the confidence of those they lead. Leaders who respect others, honor process and people in decision making and foster open dialogue along with a willingness to be flexible are wise leaders. Most foolish of all are leaders who in the face of pushback or caution from their board or team simply do what they want to do anyway. Every time that happens they lose significant leadership capital

Undiscerning church boards: A case study

I never cease to be amazed at how naive and undiscerning church  boards can be. Here is a case study from several years ago. 

The church has gone through a period of turbulent waters for a number of reasons and the senior pastor resigns. In the interim a staff member who loves nothing else better than to lead steps into the breach, is regular in the pulpit, and leads the staff. In addition, he puts his name in to become the next senior pastor and it is clear he desires the job. It is no secret that he wants the senior position. I will call this individual Bill.


When the search committee makes its decision, Bill is not chosen. Instead, it is Steve from outside. But when Steve comes, Bill is not asked to leave so Steve is working with the individual who wanted his job and believed should have his job on his staff.

Over the next several years, it is quickly apparent that Bill believes he is a better leader than Steve, passively resists his leadership - sometimes actively, is critical of Steve when they meet and tensions are present. Their philosophies of ministry are worlds apart, their style very different and Bill is often critical of how Steve leads. 

Yet the leadership of the church does nothing about it. They like Bill and Bill feels "called to be at the church"  and has a history at the church. Thus the board has set Steve up for an inevitable clash, for leadership pain, inability to build his own staff and a major lack of alignment on the staff. When it comes to how they would do things, Bill and Steve live on different planets.


When I met with Bill and Steve at Bill's request, I asked him who the better leader was and Bill told me in front of Steve that he was by far the better leader. I asked why he stayed at the church when he could not lead from the "first chair" and he said that the church needed his "prophetic voice" and would never leave. In other words, the church would not succeed without him and it was his prophetic voice that the church needed. I strongly suggested as an outside consultant that this arrangement would not work and that it was in fact doomed to fail. Bill came off as overly impressed with his own importance and the need of the church for his presence.


Over a period of months, as Steve pressed into this impossible situation, Bill decided that he should resign - reluctantly. He sent a letter of resignation to the elders and to my astonishment, several of the elders recommended that they should not accept the letter of resignation and that Steve should figure out how to work with Bill.

Never mind the lack of alignment, insubordination and the fact that Bill really wanted Steve's job. For some, Steve himself was the bad guy here who could not humble himself to work with Bill. In the meeting, he took a number of amazing shots for not making it work.


I was frankly stunned, sitting as an outsider listening to this conversation. Here was a group that had chosen Steve as their pastor over Bill and had then allowed Bill to stay so you had two competing leaders! Then when the inevitable tensions arose, Steve was the bad guy and should just "get along." If even Paul and Barnabas could not figure that out, how do we expect others to figure that out? I suggested that if they were that committed to Bill, they should have made him pastor rather than calling Steve, that they had set Steve up for this by keeping Bill on staff and that I had told Steve he should leave if the board did not support him on this.


Then, even more astonishing to me, they made it clear that Bill could stay in the church and some think he should be allowed to lead a ministry there as a lay leader - in spite of the fact that Steve now has a volunteer leader who wanted his job, does not respect him as a leader and who I predict will undermine Steve in subtle or not so subtle ways. In my world, Bill would be thanked for his service and asked to find another church. But, no, preservation of the unity of the body means that he should stay and even be eligible to serve in a lay leadership role.


Jesus told us to be innocent as doves and wise as serpents. Too many church boards lack basic wisdom in the name of "grace," and frankly violate other Scriptures by letting the fox into the hen house in the name of unity and grace. If these leaders are not careful they will lose a staff member but it will not be Bill. It will be Steve who they called but chose not to support and whose decisions in matters like these actually made it difficult for him to lead! And if Steve does eventually leave, they will get what their leadership deserved. They were not wise, did not support their pastor, did not make good decisions early on and did not think through the consequences of their decisions.


Wisdom is lacking in far too many board rooms of churches. In this case the word "foolish" from the book of Proverbs is far more applicable than the word "wisdom." Time will tell whether this board gets its act together. I pray they do.

Pursuing Wisdom

Conventional wisdom is always conventional and rarely wisdom. All one needs to do is to look at the life choices so many make to know that true wisdom is in short supply today. The book of Proverbs says that there is no greater gift than that of wisdom which starts with the Fear of the Lord and then cascades down into our lives, relationships, priorities, and ministries. All of life is to be soaked in the wisdom from above (James).



From a Biblical perspective, wisdom is the ability to look at life, situations and relationships from God’s viewpoint and to respond in ways that are consistent with His character but which are also smart and prudent. Wisdom takes into account potential solutions and unintended consequences. It then charts a course of action that is most likely to be productive and minimize the unintended consequences.


From time to time as an organizational leader I have had to intentionally move someone out of the organization because of disruptive behavior. As a leader I have the responsibility to guard the ministry. As a Christ follower, I want to do so in as redemptive a way possible. How I proceed is a matter of wisdom, taking into account all the relevant factors, including the knowledge that the individual in question has a constituency and that if my actions are perceived as being harsh or unfair, they will respond negatively and cause additional issues for the organization.


Wisdom requires the pursuit of God, the pursuit of an understanding of ourselves, the counsel of others and a willingness to go against the tide of conventional thinking. For men and women of deep influence, the pursuit of wisdom and the translation of wisdom into the everyday situations they face is a top priority. A life of wisdom creates a powerful influence because it is a living out of the very wisdom of God.


Wise individuals think deeper, act slower and with more prudence and forethought than those who lack wisdom. Because of their measured responses they are more likely to act with both grace and truth and minimize unintended consequences. They can both think grey and be decisive when they need to be. They are unthreatened by other strong opinions and invite those opinions to the table. They are also wise enough to know what they don’t know and to listen carefully to others. They are genuine pursuers of wisdom.


As I have matured in my own life I have learned that knee jerk reactions to situations are usually more harmful than productive. I have learned to curb my tendency to becoming anxious over situations that produce the need to act “now.” Rather I have learned that time is usually on my side, that trustworthy counselors will keep me from making foolish decisions and that measured responses are far better than quick responses. In essence, I have grown in wisdom and that growth has helped me lead better and has resulted in deeper influence.


I am a fan of the wisdom literature in Scripture. I am challenged by what is classified as “foolish” and drawn to the life of the “wise.” I see where I have been the fool and where I have grown in my wisdom. I am reminded that truly wise individuals are contrarian thinkers in the eyes of the world. They go against the stream of common wisdom. I am also reminded that it is as I think deeply and Biblically and heed the counsel of other wise individuals that I am at my best and avoid my worst. And finally, I am reminded of how far I have to go!

Innocent as Doves, Wise as Serpents

I am constantly amazed how naive we choose to be as believers regarding "wolves" in the church who have personal agendas that they hide behind a spiritual facade. This was the case in a call I received recently from a pastor and his board chair. A former leader in the church who has a poor track record of working with others has been quietly working those who will listen in the congregation regarding the senior pastor - subtly undermining him - even though the church board is fully supportive of his ministry.

I asked them if this gentleman's stated "concerns" are his real agenda and they said no. I asked if the board had faced the fact that they had a wolf in their midst that they needed to confront and they said no. I asked if they believed that he had a hidden agenda and they said yes.

Why are we so naive? So unwilling to name agendas for what they are, so unwilling to confront behavior that is blatantly sinful? Think about Jesus when he interacted with people. He saw right through them. He made statements or asked questions that revealed motives and behaviors for what they were.

Jesus told us to be innocent as doves but wise as serpents. Wise people understand, are willing to name and to confront behaviors that hurt the church. They don't allow people to to undermine the church while hiding behind spiritual talk or facades. Like Paul in his letters to Timothy and Titus they see sinful behavior for what it is and are willing to name it and wisely confront it.

I believe we use the excuse of "grace" to not confront wolves in our midst because we fear them and don't want to go head to head with them. In the meantime, the wolves rip through the congregation doing quiet but real and often longtime damage.

Innocent of doves means that we have pure motives. Wise as serpents means that we see issues for what they are and deal with them as leaders. How is your board doing?

The Game of Chess and Decision Making

The game of chess can provide us with some lessons for decision making. Chess is all about understanding and predicting how your move will be met by your opponent. Great chess players run through an analysis of the potential ramifications of their move and what the consequences might be.

Good decision making does the same thing. Every decision has ramifications for others and, if we are not careful, unintended consequences. Wisdom is to try to understand and predict how our decision will be met by others and the potential ramifications of that decision. Decisions impact people so wise leaders try to understand that impact before they announce their decision.

Some of the questions to consider when one is making a decision are:

• Who will be impacted?
• What are the potential downsides?
• Why might it be resisted and by whom?
• What is your strategy for dealing with that resistance?
• What kind of preparation or explanation will alleviate resistance and even garner support?
• If someone made this decision for you what would you want to know?
• Have you run the decision by trusted colleagues who can give you a read on potential "unintended consequences?"
• Do you need to prepare people by letting them know what you are thinking and allow for input?

The goal is to be aware of both consequences and response so that you can be strategic in rolling out a decision that has impact on others and minimize the downsides. The larger the decision the more critical it is to take the time to think through how it will be received.

Where it is possible a best practice is to tell staff or your board what you are thinking of doing and why so that they can give you any feedback before you pull the trigger. Giving them the opportunity to dialogue with you beforehand helps them process what is coming and may give you valuable information that might either cause you to tweak the decision or know how to sell the decision.

Another best practice is to talk with a colleague outside your organization who has not skin in the game and let them ask you the questions you may not have thought of.

The key is not to be surprised - in chess and in decision making.