Managing problematic firings or resignations

How does one message the resignation of a staff member when they have chosen to resign because they are not on the same page as the leader or organization - or have been asked to resign for the same reason or for reasons of effectiveness?

All of us who have supervised for a while have probably handled these situations in ways that we wish we could have done differently. But our dumb tax is what helps us figure out what not to do in the future.

There is no perfect way of handling situations like this but here are some things to think about.

We are often tempted to try to paint the resignation in a rosier fashion than is warranted, both to save face for the ministry and the one who is leaving. It is good to be gracious always in our communication. However, if it is well known that there has been either conflict or a problem, messaging the leaving in a rosy fashion can come across as disingenuous to those who know better. In that case it is better to be factual - than to write something that is not true.

Resignations can be problematic both for the ministry and for the one leaving. The first thing I do in these cases is to have a candid discussion with the one leaving as to the implications of how both sides handle the transition. In a ministry, how we handle transitions comes down to not hurting the work God is doing even if we feel we have been ill treated. For a staff member in a church to seek to divide the church in their anger is to hurt the bride of Christ, not a wise thing to do regardless of how we view the circumstances.

The discussion should start with the question, "What will honor God as we walk through the transition?" I have watched staff member handle themselves with great honor and others who have handled themselves with amazing dishonor. How we handle these situations is really a reflection of our character. To the extent that we can control the situation we want to honor God in the process.

If there is bad blood it is wise to sit down with the one leaving and talk about the implications of what both sides say. If you plan to give a severance package it is always a wise thing to tie that severance package to an agreement as to what each side is going to communicate. There is no place for trashing one another in the process and the employer has some pull in that they can tie a severance package to a legally binding agreement as is done in business all the time.

Where there is a belligerent attitude on the part of the one departing, it is fair to say to them that you intend to be gracious in your response - but that if they choose to trash the ministry on the way out that you reserve the right to be more forthcoming in response if necessary to the questions that will come from those whom the employee has communicated with. That gives them an incentive to be circumspect in what they say.

It behooves the ministry to be as generous as they can be when there is a problematic resignation. Whether we like it or not, people have a constituency and their constituency will often take up their offense. You do not need to be apologetic for doing the right thing but one does want to be able to show grace and care in the process.

This also goes to helping the individual, where appropriate, with finding another job through an outside service. Again, a generous spirit is far better than a stingy one, even if one thinks that the staff member does not deserve it.

Often a staff member will ask for several months so that they can find another job. If the resignation is problematic this is not a good idea because the awkwardness of the situation will inevitably affect the rest of the staff. It is better to agree to paying them for a period of time but ask them to spend their time looking for another job and not continuing on in their current role in the process. I have tried it. It rarely works.

It goes without saying that you want to ensure that you do not open yourself up to legal liability in this process. Consult an HR professional to ensure that you are within the law in what you do and what you say and that you have adequately documented what you need to document.

In churches there is often a belief that the congregation needs to know everything. Not only is that a foolish thing to do but it is very easy to open yourself up to legal liability by disclosing certain information.

Again, an HR professional can keep you from making a misstep here. I strongly advise that any communication that is made is run by either an attorney or HR professional in today's litigious environment. I have actually seen staff members who are leaving, whether forced or not, bring their attorneys to church business meetings to see what is or is not being said.

Finally, leaders should be wise but not intimidated by a staff member that is intent on hurting the ministry on the way out. That behavior is actually proof that you have made the right decision.

What we aim for is a process that honors the ministry, the individual leaving and the people of God.

theological arrogance and humility

The study of theology is an interesting discipline: it can breed either great humility or arrogance - even massive arrogance.

What makes the difference? It is whether we put ourselves under the authority of that which we study, or inversely above it because of our expertise in our ability to slice and dice fine points of theology and exegete Greek, Hebrew and theological systems.

The study of theology ought to force ourselves toward humility. No matter how much we know, there is so very much more that we don't fully understand and grasp. The study of God is a limitless study and the more we understand the more we realize we don't understand. 

Just try to grasp a God with no beginning, who exists three in one, who is all knowing, all holy, all powerful and all loving. God is infinite so how do infinite minds believe they can fully understand the infinite or be proud of what they know? As Solomon said, "of books and learning there is no end." Indeed! We will spend an eternity seeking to understand the infinitely and majestically holy God. Eternity has no end!

What I don't understand are brilliant theologians who also have great arrogance: They know all the answers, are always right, glory in their knowledge and allow no grey in theological discussions. Rather than being humbled by the immensity of our God and the glory of His character, their pride actually places themselves above the Word they study and the God they serve. 

Arrogance and God's word and character are incompatible. Unfortunately there are those who fit this description who actually teach those who will pastor churches, a sad commentary on seminary education in some quarters.

Whenever I develop pride about my Biblical knowledge, ability to exegete the Word, or perceived expertise about God, I am moving from living under the Word and its Author to living over the Word and its Author. 

Each of us chooses one stance or another. Pride is incompatible with Jesus and the Word. Those who study a majestic God with a heart that is open cannot help but to bow their hearts, lives and intellect before Him. If they don't do that now, they will one day when He returns when every knee will bow before Him.

The challenge and danger of a divided ministry board

If you sit on a ministry board that is divided and in conflict, you need to know that the division is highly likely to negatively impact the organization you oversee. Divided boards are a clear warning that danger is imminent for the ministry as a whole and it is therefore imperative that the board do whatever it needs to do - including disciplining and humbling itself to resolve the issues.

There are a number of ways that boards become divided. How it become divided is not the relevant issue here. That the board is able to get on one page is! Not to do so is to place the ministry in jeopardy which violates the board's responsibility to protect and ensure that the ministry flourishes. 

Let me suggest that divided boards must grapple with a number of key issues:

Clarity 
It is critical that divided boards are clear as to what the mission and the priorities of a ministry are. Philosophical differences reflect a lack of clarity and until that lack of clarity is dealt with the board will remain divided.

Humility
Divided boards are often the result of one or more individuals who will not submit their will to the will of the group. This is both unbiblical and it is poor leadership. If a board member cannot in good conscience submit to the will of the majority they should resign. Allowing the board to remain divided hurts the organization.

Practices
At times, boards are divided because the board does not have good governance practices. For instance, I have worked with boards where disgruntled staff are regularly talking to board members who then have information that other board members don't have and which undermines the leader. Often, a change in governance practices can bring the board greater health.

Makeup
There are times when the only way to solve a divided board is for the minority to choose to step aside so that the board can move forward in in unity. While it is a significant step to take, divided boards are dangerous and if the division be resolved together it is better for the minority to step aside. 

Divided boards usually need an outside consultant to help them work through divisive issues. Consultant's however can only help if the board as a whole is willing to humble itself and deal with its dysfunction, whatever the source. Wherever we stand, the ministry as a whole and its health comes before our own desires. 

Don't ignore a divided board. Do whatever is necessary to deal with it for the sake of the ministry.

What is in your hand?

I have been reflecting recently on the conversation that Moses had with God at the burning bush. Like us, Moses felt completely inadequate to do what God was calling him to do. And of course he had numerous objections to his ability to do what God was asking him to do.

One of the most interesting parts of the conversation takes place in Chapter four. "Moses answered, "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'the Lord did not appear to you?' Then the Lord said to him, 'What is that in your hand?' 'A staff' he replied. The Lord said, 'Throw it on the ground.' Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake and he ran from it....."

Now there was nothing significant about a staff, every shepherd had one. But God took what was in Moses hand, an ordinary staff and used it for his purposes. I am convinced that God never calls us to do something for Him without giving us what we need to do it and it is often right there - in our hand.

Here is a great example from the missions world. A few years ago when there was political instability in Cote d'Ivoire and Guinea refugees began pouring into Liberia. Titus Davis, a movement leader in Liberia was moved in his heart to minister to the refugees since he and so many Liberians had lived as refugees during their civil war. Rather than writing to others for money, he contacted churches in Monrovia and asked them to help. They collected some money and purchased bags of rice and bundles of used, clothing, put it all in a taxi and headed to the refugee camps by the border.

He and another couple of leaders began sharing the food with pregnant women and nursing mothers as well as giving the clothes to those in need. He had been trained in the chronological storytelling evangelism strategy and while they were ministering to the physical needs of people he was telling them stories of God's redemptive plan. 

These refugees were almost 100% Islamic, but they were moved in powerful ways by the compassion of Christ and the story of redemption demonstrated by Titus and his friends. People followed him home every evening wanting to know more about Jesus. People came to Christ and churches were planted. 

Some of these folks wanted to know how they could share this with their people when they returned home so Titus began training them in the story telling evangelism strategy (orality) and eventually did multiplication church planting training with them. When the civil unrest ended and people returned home to both countries, church planting followed because one leader took what he had in his hand and trusted God to use it.

What is in your hand that God can and wants to use? 

  

Why humility is so important in leaders

There are many things that make for a truly good leader but there is one thing that no good leader can do without - humility. Think of how many times humility is referenced in Proverbs.  One cannot be the kind of leader God wants without a great deal of humility.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom (Proverbs 11:2).

Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life (Proverbs 22:4).

Life is not about me
It is easy for leaders to forget that. Leaders get attention, they often get credit and it is easy to slip into a mindset that life revolves around us. It doesn't even if we think it does. When we live in pride we focus on ourselves. When we live in humility we focus on God and others. There is no leader who has fallen who did not start to believe that life was about them - which is why they got into trouble. 

The ministry I steward is not mine
How big is your church. Tell me about your mission! How subtle it is but how easy it is to start to believe that what we lead is somehow ours. It isn't. It is God's and we are simply stewards on His behalf for His fruit in dependence on His Spirit. We ought to be proud of what God has done and does through the ministry we steward but we cannot allow pride to creep in to the place where we think it is our ministry. Humility reminds us that we steward a ministry or a team for a season and then we pass it on to the next one who will steward it well. 

The team I lead is not there to serve me
Humble leaders serve their team in order for the team to be as successful as it can be and its members as fruitful as they can be. Prideful leaders take their teams for granted and expect that the team is there to serve them. Not so! Jim Collins talks about level five leaders who serve their teams and live with great humility. He is right. It is New Testament leadership where leaders serve rather than are served. Only humility makes that possible.

My ideas are not the only ones that matter
Proud leaders talk a lot. Humble leaders listen a lot. There is no robust dialogue with leaders that think they have a corner on ideas or direction. Only humble leaders are willing to hear things that they don't like to hear, listen to differing points of view and be open to honest feedback. A sign of humility in leadership is the extent that honest, open, candid dialogue can be had - with the leader present and even to him or her. 

The moment I start to believe my own press it becomes about me. When I take credit for what the team has done or what God has done it is about me. As soon as it becomes about me it is no longer about Him. To the extent that I live in humility it is about Him and to the extent that I live in pride it is about me. And it is very easy to slip from humility to pride. It takes a significant effort to stay on the side of humility.

What altitude are you flying at?

One of the critical issues for leaders is to determine what altitude they need to fly at and then do their best to stay there. For instance, as the leader of an  organization, my responsibility is to fly at the 40,000 foot level so that I can see the horizons from the best vantage point. My senior team members need to be at 30,000 feet and their area leaders at 20,000 feet and many more will be at ground level.

If I default to flying lower than I should be (by getting into issues that someone else should be dealing with), I am compromising my leadership because I have defaulted to old habits and old responsibilities. My job is not to deal with 20,000 foot issues but with 40,000 foot issues.

Joel is a leader who rose through the ranks of a mission organization to become a senior leader in that organization. He started as a missionary 'on the ground,' then became a team leader, soon an area leader and then a senior leader. In this role he needed to be flying at 30,000 feet but there were things he loved to do at the 5,000 foot level and he had a habit of 'losing altitude' to get into things he used to do and enjoyed doing. Yet he was now responsible for a huge area of the world, scores of missionaries and many national partnerships.

His leader had to coach him to stay at the 30,000 foot level. Could he still do the things he used to do? Not personally. If he wanted those projects to get done he had to find someone to do it through rather than doing it himself. His altitude was 30,000 feet as a leader, not 5,000 feet. It took coaching and practice but he learned to stay at the right altitude.

This does not mean that leaders are aloof or distant from those they lead. Leaders are always with those they lead. What it means is that we are doing those tasks that are appropriate for our current role and have given up those things that were appropriate for our past role. You cannot take on new responsibility - and do it well - without giving up old responsibility.

Further, when we hang on to the old tasks we disempower those who should be responsible for those tasks. Remember, healthy leaders make the transition from independent producer to leading through others. This transition - related pain of loss is a natural result of agreeing to fly at a higher altitude than we previously did.

Understand the altitude that you need to fly at and stay there. It is a transition from a lower to a higher altitude. It requires you to give things away, empower others and ultimately to lead at the level you need to lead. When you lead at the right altitude, you allow others to lead at their appropriate altitude.

Laggards in churches and ministry organizations

Laggards, those who will resist change of any kind are found in every congregation and every organization. They are highly resistant to change (they are traditional - they like the way it is and always has been). My friend Larry Osborne from North Coast Church in Vista, California calls these folks "squeaky wheels."

Laggards are usually a small minority (perhaps 16 percent) that cause a whole lot of heartburn for leaders for one reason: They can have very loud voices and cannot be convinced.

They are the individuals who speak the most and the loudest and are often the most negative. Because they are loud, others in your congregation or organization may wrongly assume that their view is held by many.

Leaders often spend an inordinate amount of time trying to placate the squeaky wheels. Someone has said that 80 percent of our time is often spent trying to keep 20 percent of our organization happy. It is not a wise use of our energy.

Think about that! No matter how much time you spend trying to convince the squeaky wheels, you will not be successful. They are deeply change resistant. You are wasting your time, because they will always find something to squeak about. They are not bad folks, they are simply wired to resist change.

We would be better off allowing squeaky wheels to squeak and work to convince the other folks in the organization who can be moved, than to waste precious time and energy trying to convince folks who will not be convinced. Love them, listen to them, and don't assume that they speak for the majority. Usually they do not.