Twelve Traits of a Humble Leader

 

There is much discussion about humility in leadership. It's a good discussion for all leaders to have. However, it is the behaviors of humble leaders that are most important. Humility in leadership is seen in how a leader acts in very tangible ways. Here are some of the most important traits of a humble leader.

Humble leaders:

• Listen far more than they speak. They genuinely want to know what others think and they listen carefully.

• Seek a diversity of opinions rather than simply listening to those who agree with them. They want to know as much as they can and listen to a wide variety of advice.

• Ask many and good questions. They engage in dialogue and conversation rather than telling people what they think.

• Serve those who work for them rather than expecting others to serve them. Like Jesus they come to be served rather than to be served.

• Are non-defensive when challenged. 

• Engage in robust dialogue where any issue can be put on the table with the exception of a personal attack or hidden agenda.

• Do not ask staff to do what they are unwilling to do themselves.

• Are deeply introspective and understand their strengths, weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

• Live with an attitude that they have nothing to prove, nothing to lose and nothing to hide.

• Are appropriately transparent regarding their areas of growth and personal challenges.

• Are not easily angered and keep their emotions in check. 

• Treat all people with respect, dignity and kindness.

It is one thing to believe that we are humble. It is another to actually live with the traits of humility. 

5 marks of humility among leaders

Leadership humility is easily lost as leaders see success and begin to believe that they have all the answers. That is not lost on those they lead. However, there are five practices that can help leaders stay humble and lead with humility. They will also help her/him lead better.

First: I don't have all the answers. We all know that people who think they have all the answers are self-deluded. One of the most humble attitudes leaders can model is that of communicating to their staff that "we have challenges we need to solve, and we need to figure out solutions together because I don't know the best way forward. I may have ideas but I am open to dialogue, discussion and other ideas."

This paves the way for the second practice: I want your input and I will listen to what you have to say. It is amazing what solutions emerge when we are willing to actively solicit opinions and ideas from those around us. And then actively listen to others, no matter where they are in the organization or team. Leaders who actively ask questions, listen well and show respect for the ideas of others lead better and have better information. They also know what their staff are thinking.

Third, if something goes wrong I will take the hit and protect my staff. This is a real test of humility. All of us want to blame others when things go wrong but the best leaders take the blame when there is a problem. Behind the scenes, they may need to have hard conversations but in public they are willing to take the blame for the team.

Fourth, when things go right they give the credit to the team. No leader sees success without the hard work of a team and the best leaders give that team the credit for success. Humble leaders do not call attention to themselves but to the team that did the work together. One of the quickest ways to lose the respect of others is to take credit for what the team did.

Which leads to the fifth practice. A culture where we "do things together."  Staff are not servants to a leader. A leader is an active member of the staff as together they tackle the problems and opportunities they face. "We are in this together" is a powerful ethos for leaders to cultivate with their staff.

Humility is not simply a matter of our heart but it is a matter of our practices in leadership.

Arrogance or humility in leadership is found in how we treat staff

While many have been watching high profile evangelical leaders who have treated staff and congregants poorly, the truth is that this happens all the time in otherwise good evangelical churches and Christian ministries. I routinely see this first hand as I consult and hear regularly from people who have experienced heavy handed treatment. I would say that there is more pain from poor treatment of staff in the church and ministry world than in the corporate world. This is partly because they can get away with it as people are not likely to cause division by broadcasting the issues.

Mistreatment of people is a sign of leadership arrogance. Often boards are complicit as well when they do not verify what they are hearing from their senior pastor or allow what they know to be heavy handed tactics. Here are some common ways that arrogance is demonstrated in the treatment of staff and/or congregants.

One: Staff who try to raise legitimate issues or engage in legitimate dialogue are shut down by senior leaders through intimidation or threats. This is far more common than many people realize. The threat can be for their job (and there are many ways to threaten one's job subtly), it can be around causing division (by a difference of opinion?), ridicule, or a pattern of simply firing those who disagree. When there is fear within a staff culture there is clear indication that intimidation is taking place and there are many churches where this is the case.

One of the most egregious kinds of intimidation is a gag order where staff are not allowed to talk about issues with themselves, with members of the congregation or with elected leaders and  their leadership will not let them into the process of ministry decisions. They are essentially left without a voice, without a place to go with their concerns and live with the fear that if they voice their concerns they will be called to task. All such gag orders are a sign of poor leadership, they are dysfunctional, they lead to toxicity and a culture of mistrust and eventually good people will choose to leave. 

A second sign of arrogance in leadership is when staff are let go without due process. Even with "at-will" employment in many places I am amazed that there are not more lawsuits for staff being fired by senior leaders for highly questionable leaders (I just want them gone) without due process. Sometimes the fired staff are not even told why they are being let go. Due process means a process where the issues are explained, there is the ability for the staff person to defend themselves and if necessary there is a third party present. I have seen countless examples where staff are "gotten rid of" by senior leaders who either don't like them, don't like their opinions or simply want to fill slots with sycophants who will do their bidding - all without true due process.

Even when there are performance issues, the first question should be, has this person been coached and mentored and can we help them get to where they need to go. If many senior leaders were treated like they treat their staff, they would understand what it feels like to be at the capricious will of a dysfunctional leader and it does not feel good. 

Another way that arrogance is expressed in treatment of staff is very simple: not listening to staff, not soliciting their views, and not engaging them in the process of ministry decisions even though they are stakeholders and will be impacted by those decisions. I am always amazed when senior pastors (many when they first arrive and are going to solve everything that is bad in the church - from their perspective) make sweeping unilateral decisions without even engaging their senior staff. It is a fast way to lose all coinage with staff. And it is highly disempowering. 

Why do I call behavior like this arrogant? Because it is clearly all about the leader and what he/she wants and not about the staff. Anytime we mistreat staff we are using our authority and power in ways they were never meant to be used. Nor did Jesus operate this way. Humility is a recognition that we need each other, honor each other, build team and always treat others with fairness, integrity and dignity. Humble leadership may take more time to get some things done but it will build to last with a reservoir of trust. Arrogant leadership can move fast but at the deficit of trust and through using and abusing staff along the way.

A word to elected leaders. Behaviors like this are usually blissfully ignored by boards. Why? Their leader is getting things done or they simply don't want to address it. Ultimately if such behaviors are taking place on your watch you are responsible even if not the agent. Poke around a bit and make sure that your staff culture is as healthy as you are told it is. Often it is not. I know because eventually I get called into situations when they come apart and I always wonder why leaders either did not know or did not intervene.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.

Organizational pride and its impact on ministry

The problem of pride does not just impact individuals. It infects churches and Christian organizations as well. And it's impact is just as insidious.

The root of organizational pride is usually found in a period of "success" sometime in the ministry's history - the glory days if you will. For churches this is usually when they had the largest attendance and they were a big deal in the community. Years later, even with new circumstances and different numbers, those years are remembered and in the corporate memory they are still "a big deal." Even when in decline, years later, many churches believe they are still back in the glory days.

Like individual pride, organizational pride has its consequences. Pride keeps us from seeing our current reality. Pride keeps us from getting help. Pride keeps us from understanding that times have changed and so must we. Pride keeps us from learning from others - after all we are the experts. At all levels, organizational pride is a cancer that erodes our effectiveness and holds us back.

It is also a foolish posture because no organization stays at the top of the list forever. Ironically many ministries have the greatest pride long after the big time is over. And it keeps them from moving into a new future of productive ministry. 

Humility is not only the posture of a mature ministry but it is the key to moving from one period of ministry to another. A humble ministry does not get stuck in a past period of productivity since it has nothing to prove in the present. Humble ministries learn, grow, re-invent and focus on the present and future while prideful ministries focus on that period of success in their past: a crucial difference. 

I have worked with ministries who were immensely successful in a period of their ministry. That success made them resistant to the very changes that were needed to move to a new level of ministry effectiveness. They didn't want to hear that what got you to here will not get you to there. Their pride got in the way of seeing what they needed to see to move forward.

A period of success can fuel pride and in an ironic twist, that pride keeps us from moving forward in the present. Resist it if you are a leader. Humble ministries are far more nimble and change friendly than prideful ministries. Humble ministries have nothing to prove and nothing to lose. 

Why humility is so important in leaders

There are many things that make for a truly good leader but there is one thing that no good leader can do without - humility. Think of how many times humility is referenced in Proverbs.  One cannot be the kind of leader God wants without a great deal of humility.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom (Proverbs 11:2).

Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life (Proverbs 22:4).

Life is not about me
It is easy for leaders to forget that. Leaders get attention, they often get credit and it is easy to slip into a mindset that life revolves around us. It doesn't even if we think it does. When we live in pride we focus on ourselves. When we live in humility we focus on God and others. There is no leader who has fallen who did not start to believe that life was about them - which is why they got into trouble. 

The ministry I steward is not mine
How big is your church. Tell me about your mission! How subtle it is but how easy it is to start to believe that what we lead is somehow ours. It isn't. It is God's and we are simply stewards on His behalf for His fruit in dependence on His Spirit. We ought to be proud of what God has done and does through the ministry we steward but we cannot allow pride to creep in to the place where we think it is our ministry. Humility reminds us that we steward a ministry or a team for a season and then we pass it on to the next one who will steward it well. 

The team I lead is not there to serve me
Humble leaders serve their team in order for the team to be as successful as it can be and its members as fruitful as they can be. Prideful leaders take their teams for granted and expect that the team is there to serve them. Not so! Jim Collins talks about level five leaders who serve their teams and live with great humility. He is right. It is New Testament leadership where leaders serve rather than are served. Only humility makes that possible.

My ideas are not the only ones that matter
Proud leaders talk a lot. Humble leaders listen a lot. There is no robust dialogue with leaders that think they have a corner on ideas or direction. Only humble leaders are willing to hear things that they don't like to hear, listen to differing points of view and be open to honest feedback. A sign of humility in leadership is the extent that honest, open, candid dialogue can be had - with the leader present and even to him or her. 

The moment I start to believe my own press it becomes about me. When I take credit for what the team has done or what God has done it is about me. As soon as it becomes about me it is no longer about Him. To the extent that I live in humility it is about Him and to the extent that I live in pride it is about me. And it is very easy to slip from humility to pride. It takes a significant effort to stay on the side of humility.