Why frustration can be a good thing for leaders

Leadership frustration is not a bad thing. In fact, it is usually an indicator that something is up that needs attention. It is not unlike a fever when we get sick, an indication that something is wrong with our health. And like a fever, leadership frustration should also not be ignored. It is an important symptom that needs to be addressed.

Consider these four kinds of frustration.

Frustration with a staff member

Ongoing frustration with a staff member always needs to be addressed. It may be that they are in the wrong spot, have not been able to keep up with a growing organization, are not team players or have an attitude problem. Whatever the issue, that frustration cannot be ignored as it is a symptom of some kind of dysfunction in the system that if ignored has a ripple impact across the organization.

Frustration with decision making

When it becomes hard to make decisions it is usually an indication that the leadership system of the organization is outdated and does not reflect present realities and needs to be addressed. Permission withholding cultures create frustration while permission granting structures makes decision making and leadership a friendly experience. When it becomes frustrating to make decisions, you know that it is time to look at your systems.

Frustration with boards

When there is tension between senior staff and boards it almost always indicates a lack of clarity of roles between boards and staff. This lack of clarity can be addressed by policy governance but it does need to be addressed because while clarity may be the bottom line issue, it is easy to assume bad motives when staff and boards go sideways. 

Frustration and all is well

This is the most difficult frustration. Being frustrated when things are going well. Often this is an indication that we are no longer challenged in our leadership role. That may mean it is time to leave for a new challenge. It also could be that it is necessary to rethink our role and refashioning our job so that we are playing to our strengths and using our gifts to their maximum. Again, unaddressed, 

being underutilized impacts our own attitudes and happiness and therefore those who we supervise.

Frustration is a symptom. Don't ignore it, just as you would not ignore a fever.

The best ministry is relational.

It is easy to forget in a day of unprecedented technology - email, blogs, twitter and the like that the best ministry is relational - face to face. It may take longer but it is certainly more effective.

Think of the difference between Old Testament days when God communicated in various ways but rarely face to face to the incarnation when God, in the form of the Son, Jesus, came and dwelt among us. It was that deeply relational connection with Jesus over three years that prepared the disciples for their future ministry.

In our driven and out of control schedules we often miss the importance of relationship or even of face to face communication. Even in my world of having staff around the world Skype makes it possible to talk face to face where one can see one another, look into one another's eyes and read one another's faces. 

God is a personal God and we are in a personal ministry of representing Him. Given the choice choose personal communication and face to face over emails and impersonal communication.  

The future may not be what you think it will be. Check out these fascinating statistics regarding Africa. 

The amazing, surprising, Africa-driven demographic future of the Earth, in 9 charts

Unity among believers: It is often a higher value to God than it is to us

Jesus makes a profound statement in His high priestly prayer when he asks the Father: "Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one" (Jn 17:11). Think about that! He is praying that His followers would have the same unity as the Son and Father do! Contrast that with the reality we often see of disunity, division, conflict and bad attitudes toward fellow believers.

This plea for unity is echoed by Paul in 1 Corinthians and Ephesians notably. In Ephesians 4:1-6, Paul makes this a very practical plea to the Ephesian church spelling out the character qualities that make unity possible: "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."

What makes unity possible? Humility, gentleness, patience, bearing with one another in love and an effort to preserve it.

The sad thing is that God's people often do not hold the unity of God's family in the same regard as Jesus does. Evangelicals are very quick to judge one another. Very quick to jump on bandwagons against other believers who don't agree with them on some point or to make assumptions about others without getting the facts (and no, just because it is on the internet does not mean it is true). And very quick to gossip in ways that bring disunity rather than preserves unity.

The bottom line goal is given to us by Paul. "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." If we all made that effort, the prayer of Jesus in John 17 would be realized more often.

Your best leadership decision can backfire if....

Making the right decision as a leader is always our goal. But in some ways the decision itself is the easy part. The hard part is running a process that will make the decision a win rather than a liability. Many great decisions run aground because of poor process.

Process involves a number of key pieces, any of which if not addressed can cause your direction to backfire.

• Have I consulted all the key stakeholders who will be impacted by the decision that is being made?
• Have I developed a guiding coalition of people who can and will support the decision and help explain and commend it to other?
• Have I considered the unintended consequences of the direction that is being considered?
• Have I carefully laid out a process of communication, explanation, dialogue and the sequence of who needs to be told when?

Many leaders suffer from impatience to get something done and in their strategic bent make great decisions that end up badly because they did not run good process. Remember that by the time we have come to a conclusion we have processed the issues but those who will be impacted have not. We need to run process twice as leaders: Once in our own thinking and then again to help others get their hands around it as well. 

Good ideas gone awry usually do so because of poor process. And once they go awry they are harder to do the second time because of the poor taste left in the wake of bad process.

A ministry creed

Ministries talk a lot about their unique philosophy of ministry - the things that drive how they do what they do. But have you considered your philosophy of how you work with other ministries? 

ReachGlobal's approach can be summed up in two phrases: "It is about the Bride, not the brand," and "We don't own, control or count anything as ours." Unlike the business world where there is much that is appropriately proprietary, the ministry world is all focused on the same thing: Making the Gospel well known.

Because it is about the Bride (the church) not the brand (my brand of the church) we can and will cooperate broadly with others who are both missional and evangelical. We do not allow the small differences in theology to keep us from working with those, like us who want the Gospel to penetrate our world. Nor do we assume that our brand has a corner on the truth. In heaven there will be no brands except a Jesus brand!

With the declaration that we don't own, control or count anything as ours, we willingly give away everything and anything we learn along the way, want to be generous in helping other ministries and will never control our ministry partners. Who owns it all? Jesus! We want to make His name well known and His reputation great. We live in the spirit of unity that Jesus prayed for in John 17. It is a great place to live.

Have you thought deeply about your ministry philosophy as it relates to other ministries? We opt for being a ministry of humility and service.

What is your gold standard?

A distinguishing difference between organizations that do exceedingly well and those that are average is that the former has a Gold Standard that defines who they are, what they do and what the results of their work should look like. There is great clarity which is known and lived out by all employees.

The Gold Standard reflects the deeply held aspirational values of the organization. It includes clarity of mission, guiding principles, knowing what must be focused on day in and day out and the culture it is committed to creating. Without such a Gold Standard, there is no clearly focused missional agenda that brings alignment, ignites passion and keeps everyone moving in the same direction.

I am not referring to those ubiquitous documents that reside in dusty binders – the work of the obligatory five year strategic planning. We all know how effective most of those documents are. I am referring to a Gold Standard that is known and personally held by leaders as non-negotiables for the organization and communicated all the time to all the staff. Every staff member from the senior leader to the building engineer should understand, know and be able to communicate that Gold Standard.

The Gold Standard brings clarity to the aspirational values of the organization. I have written elsewhere that the first most important job of a leader is to provide maximum clarity to his/her organization or team about what is important to the organization. The second most important responsibility is to see that there is alignment around that clarity and the third most important responsibility is to see that there are results on that clarity.

But it all comes back to an articulation of what that clarity is – the Gold Standard for your church, your team or your organization. Without clarity you can be good at some things but you will never be great. My rule is that if you cannot communicate your clarity on one page it is too complicated and will not be remembered. Ministry is complex, complexity is confusing so your Gold Standard simplifies your complexity into an easy to understand, easy to articulate one page picture of your clarity.

Those who have read Leading From the Sandbox know that the organization I lead uses a sandbox metaphor and picture to communicate our clarity. With one picture we can visually communicate our Gold Standard. 

There is no more important work for leaders than to do the hard work of identifying your Gold Standard. That Gold Standard becomes the glue that holds the organization together because it communicates who you are, where you are going, your non-negotiables and the results of your work. It is your true north, the directional arrow, the goal and the target. In the process it aligns your people in a common direction and helps focus the organization on what really matters to you. Get to clarity and you have a shot at greatness.