In loving memory

Our most faithful dog Starbucks passed from this earth this past week after eleven years of faithful friendship at the Addington home. God send her to us at just the right time and she was bar none the best pet one could have.

We often take for granted the richness of God's gifts to us. Starbucks was one of those gifts. No matter how stressful our day, she was always there wagging her tail (I love you), giving small licks (give me some love) and wanting to be with us wherever we were (please let me snuggle with you). Every day she would welcome me home at the same place at the top of the stairs and if I had been gone for weeks it did not seem to matter in the least. Ever forgiving for all slights she waited for another chance to wag her tail and express her love. Many early morning blogs were written with her next to me on the couch.

Today there is a strange emptiness in the home and in a corner of our bedroom where she kept faithful watch over her "charges." She walked with our family through a decade of life and change: kids going to college, two near fatal illnesses, a job change and all the mundane stuff that makes up life but which she brought greater richness to.

Ironically, given what I blog on she was a very self defined dog. She knew what she wanted and was never shy to seek to get it. If she wanted something she would sit and give one an intent stare for as long as it took for us to figure out what we were supposed to know and do. If we got it wrong she moved not an inch. I suspect she felt we were hard to train. And like her owners she did not easily change her mind. We will forever remember her and appreciate what she brought to our lives. Another gift from a loving God whose creation is amazing.

I am so very thankful

Dear Father:

I have so much to be thankful for this year. Every perfect gift comes from you. You are the source of my hope, the ever present help in trouble, the One who has walked with me through every joy and sorrow I have experienced. You are my rock, my salvation, my savior, my hope, my forgiver and everything I have. You are the great I am!

I thank you my family - all of them and how they enrich my life and challenge me.

I thank you for my Christian family who walk through life with me - fellow pilgrims on the journey.

I thank you for my friends for life who know me for who I am and still love me deeply. Examples of You and Your love.

I thank you for the friends I have seen leave this earth this year who I will one day see again with You. They are examples to me and were Jesus to me.

I thank you for meeting the needs I have. My daily bread is your gift. All that I have is from You and is Your provision.

I thank you for being with me through difficult times. The pain is often real but your presence is even more real.

I am thankful for the disappointments I have encountered this year for they give me the opportunity to trust You.

I thank you for hope. Hope for tomorrow, next week, next month and next year and hope for eternity with You and experience your grace and provision in their midst.

I thank you for the incarnation so that I can know you through Jesus in so real a way. Your visitation to this earth changed my life forever.

I thank you for grace and forgiveness. I need it so very much every day and You are always there and always faithful.

On this Thanksgiving day I simply thank You. You are my greatest gift on every day. 

What keeps you awake at night?

What keeps you up at night or wakes you up and prevents you from going back to sleep?

Often the Holy Spirit wants us to pray for a specific issue in our lives or in the lives of others. It is amazing how often God wakes us up at a specific time to pray for a specific need for someone we may know. During one long hospitalization of my own, people reported on the blog that the Holy Spirit kept waking them up at 3:00am in the morning. Because those came in from around the globe, God literally raised up a 24 hour prayer covering at 3:00am in the morning.

There is another reason we may wake up.

My experience is that we can avoid issues that the Holy Spirit wants to get our attention on with our schedules and busyness. But one cannot avoid the night. When He chooses to get our attention at night, when we wake up, there is no place to hide and we face ourselves more candidly than we sometimes want to.

Most of us are very good at avoiding areas of life where we need spiritual renovation. It is not comfortable to peel away layers of our lives that we know deep down are not healthy. It is far easier to ignore areas of dishealth than to admit that they exist and that we need to deal with them. But the Holy Spirit does not let us off that easy because He wants us to be whole, healthy and spiritually alive. And one of His strategies is to gently encourage us to face ourselves - often in the middle of the night when our distractions are at a minimum - and we have nowhere to hide.

Often our busyness is a strategy to hide from issues and closets in our life that need urgent attention but we would rather not face.

Whether it is a situation we struggle with or an area of our lives that needs attention, those issues that wake us up and keep us up are areas that we need to press into with intentionality.

If it keeps you awake, pay attention. It will help you get to sleep!

Low organizational EQ and its impact on staff

Here is an interesting question: Do organizations have a corporate EQ? I firmly believe the answer is yes and it is the sum of the EQ of its leadership and staff. Poor EQ in an organization leads to poor decision making and acceptance of behaviors which would not be permitted in a healthier organization.

A reader of this blog recently wrote me about an organization he had worked for and made this statement which goes to the heart of the issue: "So often there is just wholesale action with so little consideration of the effect. The EQ of the whole organization is unbelievably low." Notice the connection here between wholesale action, lack of consideration of the impact and low EQ within the organization as a whole. 

What are some of the signs of poor organizational EQ? One of them is allowing staff to stay in place even when they create relational chaos around them. I have seen ministries suffer significantly because of one highly dysfunctional leader who created chaos for those who worked for him but was protected by those above him. 

Organizations with low EQ often lack the ability to talk about the elephants in their midst. Thus even when significant issues are present those impacted by the dysfunction do not have the ability to talk to and be heard by those who could deal with it. One of the key signs of poor EQ is the inability to handle conflict: talk about it, deal with it and resolve it. The more organizational elephants there are the lower the organizational EQ.

Making decisions without thinking through the ramifications is another sign of poor organizational EQ. Have you ever watched a ministry make a series of sweeping changes that made no sense and had major unforeseen (by them) consequences? People with good EQ think through the ramifications of what they do with great care and solicit the input of those who can give good counsel. They are rarely caught unawares of the consequences of their decisions. Those with poor EQ tend to make decisions without adequate thought and get caught in the backdraft of those decisions.

Poor EQ also keeps organizations from admitting when they are wrong just as it keeps individuals from the same. When bad things go wrong there are two ways out for ministries with poor EQ. The first is to spin the situation the best they can which often lacks key elements of truth. The second is to spiritualize the situation and play the "God card." "God is leading us to do such and such" which sounds great but is often more about not solving problems earlier and now needing to spin the outcome. God gets blamed for a lot of bad decisions by ministries! 

Spirituality is not necessarily a sign of good EQ.  Sometimes it simply gives a veneer of spirituality to an otherwise toxic workplace. In my experience there are few things that create greater cynicism than poor EQ covered with a veneer of spirituality by leaders.

Truth is a sign of good organizational EQ while spin is a sign of poor EQ. Ironically people usually see through the spin and the only ones fooled are the individuals (leaders) who are creating the spin.

A key indicator of good or poor EQ in individuals is how they treat those around them. The same is true with ministries and organizations. Poor treatment of people internally and externally is a sign of poor EQ. It may be in not protecting them from toxic leaders, in not keeping their commitments, in not dealing with problems which then leave staff or others vulnerable or poorly managed transitions that leave people hurt. 

Those who work for ministries with poor EQ pay a high price, as do those from the outside who also get caught in the dysfunction. It is a sad but not uncommon scenario. If you are in such a situation and find it "crazy making" don't be fooled that it is you who is responsible. You may well be working in an unhealthy environment where the organizational EQ is creating chaos and dishealth. 

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The ten top traits I look for in leaders

Leaders come with many different kinds of wiring and lead with varied styles. I celebrate those differences. When hiring or promoting, I care much about how a person leads but I care even more about what lies behind their leadership. There are ten traits that I look for in leaders that are for the most part personal traits that spill over into how they lead.

A Kingdom heart
In ministry settings a kingdom heart is crucial. Our leadership is not about ourselves but about Jesus and what He wants to accomplish on this earth. A kingdom heart is one that understands we are not building something for ourselves but for Him.

Humble
Humble leaders can focus on others and the mission because they are not building a kingdom for themselves. Humble leaders have the capacity to live and lead with personal transparency and have a "nothing to prove and nothing to lose" attitude. They are open and non-defensive when challenged.

Intentional
There are two ways one can live: intentionally or accidentally. The best leaders understand how God has wired them, what He has called them to do (and not do) and organize their lives around the most important rather than simply responding to life. Everything about their priorities and time management is intentional and focused.

Clarity
Clarity is required for intentional living. Clarity about how God has gifted and wired us, clarity in our leadership priorities and organizational clarity all contribute to the ability to be deeply intentional. 

Accountable
Those who lead others and expect them to be accountable must be accountable themselves. To lead one must be willing to follow! Lack of accountability is about hubris while accountability is about humility and a healthy commitment to health. This includes accountability for results

Reflective
The best leaders are deeply reflective people: about themselves, others, the organization, methodology and life in general. They are thinkers rather than simply doers. Their actions come out of thinking and reflection rather than simply responding to events around them. They are thinking, reflective practitioners.

Inquisitive
The best leaders are deeply inquisitive, always asking questions, probing people in their organization and in others, desirous of learning and growing. They ask the question "why" often and don't assume that conventional wisdom is always wisdom. 

Team focused
Healthy organizations are formed around teams that work synergistically together under good leadership with accountability for results. Thus leaders must be willing to work with and through team rather than working independently.

Generous
Leaders give themselves away to help others be successful and the organization reach its objectives. They are servants to those they lead and understand that it is as others succeed that they succeed. Thus they mentor, coach and help others grow with a generous spirit.

Healthy EQ
Unhealthy EQ is the greatest killer of leadership as it creates relational chaos in its wake. No matter how brilliant an individual is, if there are EQ issues, they will not end up on one of our teams. Healthy EQ, on the other hand builds healthy relationships which leads to healthy collaboration and the building of healthy teams.

TJ Addington of Addington Consulting has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

Challenging the status quo

It is easy to be a part of the pack going in the same direction, content with the status quo and believing in conventional wisdom. It is far harder to question the status quo and to believe that conventional wisdom is definitely conventional but rarely wisdom.

I am drawn to those who challenge the status quo rather than join it, who question conventional wisdom rather than blindly buy into it and who are willing to risk new ways in order to better fulfill God's purposes. If I am going to follow anyone, it will usually be those that don't follow the crowd.

Consider:

Conventional wisdom says that if you can convince people to live a certain way, with certain habits that they will become like Jesus. Yet the church has miserably failed with performance based Christianity and has not seen significant spiritual transformation take place among its people. Now, wise leaders are asking the question, how do we get to transformation of the heart rather than settle for conformity of the life.

Conventional wisdom says you need to dumb down the gospel if you are going to grow a church. Gospel light sells. Yet, some of the fastest growing churches are full of people who actually want to know what God says in his Word and they preach it boldly. Which produces the more mature believers?

Conventional wisdom says that missionaries should not give those they minister too too much responsibility too soon. They might mess something up. Yet, some missionaries follow the example of Paul and develop, empower and release new believers into ministry quickly. Which produces more fruit?

Conventional wisdom says that a church must program for everything and everyone and in a multitude of options, it will flourish. Yet many very large churches keep it very simple so they do the key things that help people grow and then give people time to be involve in ministry outside of the church. These often have far more influence for Christ than those who program aggressively.

Conventional wisdom says that we ought to do all that we can do to create and fill ministry slots in the church so that everyone is using their gifts. Of course we often totally ignore wiring and gifting when filling those slots - and we please the evil one by tying up our congregations inside the four walls of our church where they will be relatively ineffective at reaching the community.

Yet, those rare churches that focus on helping people do ministry in line with their gifting and wiring and to use them where God has actually put them six days a week see amazing things happen. In resisting the temptation to make ministry about the church they release people into ministry exactly where God wanted them to be to the chagrin of the evil one.

Conventional wisdom says that to be successful a church must be edgy in its worship. Yet, congregations that give options find that all kinds of people participate because they find a worship style that works well for them.

Remember conventional wisdom is always conventional. It is often not wisdom. Rather than simply following the crowd in ministry, ask yourself if there is another way that might produce even better results? Ask what the underlying assumptions are of the conventional way. Ask what the alternatives might be. Ministry pace setters do not live by conventional wisdom. They know it is often not wisdom at all.

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Fraud thriving in US churches but you wouldn't know it

Does your church have adequate safeguards against financial fraud? Forbes Magazine has an article on this topic that is worth reading if you are a church leader. 

Fraud thriving in US churches but you wouldn't know it

For the gold standard of financial accountability, visit the ECFA site. They have multiple tools and information on ethical and safe financial practices for ministries.