Leadership malpractice

Leaders face many temptations, which, if not guarded against, will hurt their leadership. Here are ten that I often think of and that are often not given adequate attention.

One: Starting to coast on past development in the middle and later years. When leaders don't stay sharp and don't have an intentional development plan, they hurt themselves and the team they lead. Intentionality must be ramped up in the middle and later years if we stay in the game. Not having a growth plan is leadership malpractice, especially for those in senior positions. Their lack of growth and development harms everyone under them. Leaders should only be allowed to operate with an annual development plan.

Two: We become set in our paradigms and lose the necessary flexibility all leaders need. The world changes quickly, and we need to continue to understand those changes and stay flexible in our approaches to maintain our ability to remain relevant. We should become more flexible as the years go by and realize the limitations of our knowledge, wisdom, and contributions to others. 

Three: Becoming less receptive to the ideas and feedback from others because we feel we have the knowledge base we need. When we stop listening to others, asking questions, and inviting input, we become less and less effective. No one has the complete knowledge base they need. Instead, we are deeply dependent on the expertise and skill of others as our leadership platform grows. When we become unwilling to hear candid feedback or ideas that are not ours, we are in a danger zone, and it is only a matter of time until our behaviors find us out.

Four: Getting into a rut by staying too long in our role. This does not necessarily mean we need to change jobs, but it does mean that we constantly need to look for new challenges that cause us to think, grow, and learn new things. This is why number one is so significant. One way to stay out of the inevitable rut is to develop intentionally. Those who wait too long in a single role experience a diminishment of thinking skills, strategy, and creativity as they stop using these necessary leadership functions. 

Five: Allowing our time with Jesus to become professional (related only to our work) rather than personal and intimate (related to our heart and life). It is an easy trap to fall into and one that we must constantly fight if we are going to allow Jesus to continuously transform our lives. This is a dangerous place for those who profess faith in Christ or work in ministry. Our relationship with God is only as current as the last time we spent with Him. Neglect of the spiritual is dangerous for those in any leadership position, especially those in professional ministry.

Six: Taking too little time for reflection and thinking. Leadership means responsibility, and it is easy for our activities to crowd out the reflection we need. When we are young, we run on energy to a great extent. As we mature, we need a lot of wisdom, but wisdom comes from having the time to think and reflect. The best leaders allocate more rather than less time to reflection and feeling as the years pass. This is the most challenging work a leader does because the pressure is always to be doing something when we should be doing a more excellent reflection and thinking that can lead to significant leadership breakthroughs. No one will do a leader's thinking for them.

Seven: Taking our staff for granted rather than realizing they are one of our highest priorities. No matter how good our team is, unless we are building into them, encouraging them, and helping them grow, we lose critical influence with them and the organization. Leaders either grow their subordinates or stagnate the organization by not doing so. The development and encouragement of staff are the quickest ways to significantly increase the organization's impact. It is literally a multiplication metric.

Eight: Allowing ourselves to become disengaged from the leadership work we do. This may reflect deficits in some of the issues above, but disengagement and autopilot always threaten good leadership. When we stop paying attention to our leadership tasks, it is usually because we are paying attention to lesser things and priorities in our lives. We have lost our way as leaders when we allow the less important to get in the way of the truly important. You cannot coast and lead well at the same time.

Nine: Not developing outside interests that can feed our lives. All of us need things that refresh us and delight us. Leadership is hard. Having other interests actually refreshes us for better leadership. Outside interests add richness to our lives and are indispensable to healthy leaders. For me, this is often reading one of the books stacked on my desk, photography, cooking, and, more recently, time in the gym. Doing less to achieve more and balancing life with multiple interests are keys to leadership success.

Ten: We should not allow our identity to be defined by our role in leadership rather than by our identity as healthy individuals. Leadership is a role we play, but it should not define who we are personally. We are people like everyone else and need to be comfortable outside our leadership role. It also helps us not take ourselves too seriously. Life is more than the role we play in our work. 

Traits to look for in a leader

Leaders have many different kinds of wiring and lead with varied styles. I celebrate those differences. When hiring or promoting, I care much about how a person leads, but I care even more about what lies behind their leadership. There are certain traits that I look for in leaders, which are, for the most part, personal traits that spill over into how they lead.

A Missional heart
Our leadership is not about ourselves but about Jesus and what He wants to accomplish on this earth. A kingdom heart understands that we are not building something for ourselves but for Him. Whether our assignment is in a ministry, a non-profit, or a business enterprise, this is true. What we do needs to contribute to the good of society and the welfare of others so the focus is not on us but on those we exist to serve. Jim Collins called these kinds of leaders Level Five Leaders. They are other-focused rather than on themselves.

Humble
Humble leaders can focus on others and the mission because they are not building a kingdom for themselves. Humble leaders can live and lead with personal transparency and have a "nothing to prove and nothing to lose" attitude. They are open and non-defensive when challenged. Humility is critical because it allows us to focus on others and a mission rather than on ourselves.

Intentional
There are two ways to live: intentionally or accidentally. The best leaders understand how they are wired and what they have been called to do and not do. They organize their lives around the most important rather than simply responding to life. Everything about their priorities and time management is intentional and focused. They understand that the most essential checks they write are not financial but "time checks," and that time is the one thing they cannot get back or replace. Thus, they choose carefully and use their time wisely. They understand that saying "no" often allows them to say "yes" to the right things. 

Clarity
Clarity is required for intentional living. Clarity about how God has gifted and wired us, our leadership priorities, and organizational clarity all contribute to the ability to be deeply intentional. With clarity, we can understand what is essential and what is a distraction. With clarity, we can say no, so we can say a larger yes. With clarity, we can live in our strengths rather than run in lanes we were not designed for.

Accountable
Those who lead others and expect them to be accountable must be accountable themselves. To lead, one must be willing to follow! Lack of accountability is about hubris, while accountability is about humility and a healthy commitment to health. This includes responsibility for results. They live with a great deal of self-awareness and self-accountability. 

Reflective
The best leaders are deeply reflective people about themselves, others, the organization, methodology, and life. They are thinkers rather than simply doers. Their actions result from thinking and reflection rather than merely responding to events around them. They are thinking, reflective practitioners. This means that they build into their day and week periods of reflection, perhaps journaling but certainly deep thought, where they constantly align their activities with their purpose and life mission. 

Inquisitive
The best leaders are deeply inquisitive, always asking questions, probing people in their organization and others, and desirous of learning and growing. They ask "why" often and don't assume that conventional wisdom is always wisdom. They assume that conventional wisdom is conventional but frequently not wisdom. They ask questions that others don't ask, even when it makes them or others uncomfortable. They intentionally seek feedback from those who only sometimes agree with them in their desire for the best answers. 

Team focused
Healthy organizations are formed around teams that work synergistically under good leadership and are accountable for results. Thus, leaders must be willing to work with and through teams rather than independently. As they lift up team members, they delegate opportunity and authority for team members to excel and flourish. 

Generous
Leaders give themselves away to help others succeed and ensure the organization achieves its objectives. They are servants to those they lead and understand that they succeed as others succeed. Thus, they mentor, coach, and help others grow with a generous spirit. They see those they lead as a trust rather than an irritant. They are generous in giving opportunities away, encouragement, time with staff, and praise for work well done.

Healthy EQ
Unhealthy EQ is the greatest killer of leadership, creating relational chaos in its wake. No matter how brilliant an individual is, they should not end up in a leadership role if they have EQ issues.  Healthy EQ, on the other hand, builds healthy relationships, which leads to healthy collaboration and the building of healthy teams.

Leadership coaching, governance/board training, staff/culture audits, change management, conflict management, establishing clarity, creating healthy cultures, leadership, and organizational consulting. tjaddington@gmail.com

Leaders are stewards: The question is what are you stewarding and for whom?

 

Most would acknowledge that leaders are stewards. By definition, stewardship means that we look after the interests of someone or something else rather than ourselves. However, what we are stewarding and for whom requires some deep thinking and regular realignment because it is easy to get this wrong. We can inadvertently steward the wrong thing! This is true whether you lead a team or an organization. 

At any one time, if we are not careful, we may be stewarding (and looking after the interests of) ourselves or others and a mission. 

Leaders have the power to set agendas and focus. They also have the opportunity to look out for their interests or the interests of others. They can guard or give away authority and power. In fact, when a leader guards their authority, rather than sharing it, it is a sign that their stewardship is more about them than it is about others. 

The more autonomous a leader is in their decision-making (rather than sharing that decision-making with other competent individuals), the more their stewardship is about their interests, their ego, and their power. Often, they do not see it, but those around them do.

In all of this, ego is the enemy. Ego is about me and my interests, and to the extent that we focus on retaining our power and authority or arranging things for our interests and agenda, we are stewarding ourselves, not a mission or on behalf of an organization and its staff. 

There are four characteristics of those who are true stewards rather than faux stewards.

One: they think mission and something greater than themselves, talk about that mission, and encourage the whole organization to align their work around the accomplishment of that mission. It is not about themselves but about something greater than themselves.

Two: they lead from a place of great humility. This means that they bring others into the decision-making process, don't need to get their own way, admit when they are wrong, are non-defensive, open, and take differing opinions easily. 

Three: They share decision-making, power, and authority in appropriate ways, giving these to other competent people rather than hoarding them for themselves.

Four: They genuinely care about people around them, and their words, interactions, and actions reflect that care. Ego-driven people care about themselves, while humble leaders care about others. 

If you lead others, take a moment to reflect on this issue of stewardship and the four markers of those who are true stewards. All of us can improve, and this is an issue that leaders need to be aware of on a regular basis. 

Grow your self awareness and become a better version of you

 

Dictionary

Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more

self-a·ware·ness

noun

1. conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires.

   "the process can be painful but it leads to greater self-awareness"

Do you know who you are and why you do what you do? Do you know how others experience you? Too often we pay too little attention to understanding ourselves and in the process we hurt others around us and are often not remotely aware that we did so.

Each of us impacts those around us. We cause them to experience emotions like joy, acceptance, grace, condemnation, irrelevance, judgement or any number of positive or negative emotions. Self awareness is the ability to understand how others perceive us and what they experience in our presence. Awareness is the first step toward ensuring that our impact on others is what we desire it to be.

How we impact others is directly connected to our ability to understand our own behaviors, motives and attitudes. Many of us are not completely aware of why we say and do what we do. This can be because we speak and act before we stop and consider what we are doing and why.

Years ago I learned that when I responded quickly, I often did so without the diplomacy I truly desired. What I said may have been true but it was blunt and hard. I actually put a post-it in front of me in many meetings that said KMS. Keep Mouth Shut. Practicing KMS allowed me to consider what I was going to say and how I was going to say it. 

When I was in contentious situations, I leaned to not only KMS but to respond to a frontal attack with a question. It gave me time to think about my response and to invite dialogue rather than to respond out of emotion, thus bringing down the tension rather than contributing to it. 

I also learned that when someone "Pushed buttons in my emotions" the issue was not what they said (no matter how irritating or out of order) but something in me that caused me to react to their statement. Thus I started to become more aware of my own emotional responses and seek to understand why my emotions were struck by their words. 

Those who best understand themselves and who learn to regulate their emotions and responses become healthier versions of themselves. Self aware individuals often have more influence than non-self aware individuals because their responses are more mature, better regulated and in understanding how others experience them they can avoid behaviors that push people away and focus on those that bring people closer. 

Leaders who develop healthy self awareness tend to create healthier cultures in their organizations than those who don't. Do some research, and become more self aware. It will not only help you but it will bless those around you.

Characteristics of Gracious Leaders

 

I love meeting gracious leaders. There is a quality that endears them to insiders and outsiders alike. Moreover, they possess essential characteristics that all leaders can emulate and learn from. Here are some of the most important.

When they are with you, they focus on the conversation rather than thinking about other things. Being present in the moment when with others is a discipline that says, "You are important," and "I am interested in what you are saying." Too many leaders do not allow themselves to be fully present but are obviously thinking about other things.

Gracious leaders like to listen and ask questions. In other words, they focus outwardly on others rather than inwardly on themselves. As a result, they engage in your life, your ministry, your family, and you!

Gracious leaders are generous in their praise, thanks, and appreciation and sparing in criticism. When they need to press into an issue, they do it gently and clearly, but you always get the sense that they care about you and want you to succeed.

They don't hold grudges and have short memories of adverse events in the past. Gracious leaders have a way of focusing on the positive while not ignoring the negative. They keep short accounts, let you know what they think even when course corrections are needed, and then move on.

The language of gracious leaders is uplifting, encouraging, and life-giving. That last quality is critical. Think about those you interact with that discourage or drain you. Gracious leaders are the opposite. After interactions with them, you are filled and encouraged because gracious leaders are life givers rather than life takers. You want to be around them as a result.

Gracious leaders may be busy, but they are never too busy to take the time to stop, acknowledge others, and interact with them. As a result, they give the impression that their staff and constituency are supremely important and do so because it is genuinely true as outward-focused individuals.

Gracious leaders can be generous with others because they are comfortable in their own skin and at home with themselves. In other words, they have paid attention to their own hearts and inner lives, and as a result, that healthy inner life spills out into their relationships with others. Their graciousness is a discipline (how I treat others) and a habit (because they are internally healthy). 

In many ways, the Fruit of the Spirit encompasses the character of a gracious leader. It is a worthwhile exercise for leaders to regularly ask themselves if their relationships are characterized by the fruit of love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. The more we focus on these and develop our inner lives around them, the more gracious we will become.

Don't allow these issues to derail your great leadership

It is possible to have effective leadership skills and still undermine one's leadership. And this is not only a risk for young leaders for often for leaders that have seen significant success. 

Hubris. This should be obvious, but it isn't always! Success breeds confidence, and that confidence can cause us to overestimate our wisdom and underestimate our need for counsel. This can creep up on us over time without our realizing it until we are no longer open to the input of others, which eventually comes back to bite us.

Schedule. Good leaders are in demand. That demand can cause us to say yes too often and no too seldom. Busyness wears us down, tires our bodies and minds, and robs us of thinking time and even time with God. Schedule erosion eventually catches up to us in negative ways.

Entitlement. Successful leaders can start believing that the rules don't apply to them as to others. One of the ways this often plays out is in behaviors that they would not allow others to exhibit but which they feel they can. This may be carelessness in treating others in words or attitudes or taking staff for granted. Because they have the positional authority, they often get away with behaviors that they shouldn't, but by doing so, they lose the respect of their staff.

Laziness. Many leaders who saw success in one period of life lose their edge in another because they no longer feel the need to stay sharp, learn new skills, and understand the changing environment around them. This can result from out-of-control schedules or hubris, but whenever we stop being intentional in our development, we begin to lose our ability to lead well.

Health. I understand this and have had to become deeply intentional about addressing my health issues. When we don't, those issues often compromise our energy and our ability to carry out our leadership roles. In the second half of life, this is one that leaders must become more intentional about if they are going to go the distance.

Transformation. It is what God wants to do in our hearts, thinking, priorities (lifestyle), and relationships, and it is a lifelong process. I love the comment my brother made at my father's funeral service. "He was not a perfect man, but he kept getting better." Cooperating with the Holy Spirit to become everything God made us to be and to become more and more like Jesus is one of the prime responsibilities of leaders who model transformation for others. When we lose our intentionality here, others notice, and it sabotages our leadership.

Clarity. Lack of personal and leadership clarity leaves our staff and us without focus. No matter how brilliant one is, a lack of focus confuses those we lead. Life should be a journey toward ever greater clarity about what God wants us to do (and alternatively not do), what our priorities should be (and there should be only a few), and what the target is for our work (without which our staff will lack direction). 

Discipline. No amount of brilliance makes up for the lack of discipline in our lives. Our personal discipline reflects our understanding of God's call on our lives and our commitment to stewarding the gifts He has given for maximum impact. Lack of discipline communicates a carelessness about that stewardship. 

Jesus. Life is not about us but about Him. It is easy to forget that and focus on our things rather than His. But, whenever we take our eyes off Him, we start to sink as Peter did when He left the boat to be with Him. To the extent that we lose that focus, we hurt our leadership - and ourselves.

What sabotages your leadership? It can be one of these, or it can be other things. Being sensitive to whatever it is will allow us to go the distance.

The whiplash effect of leaders who easily change their minds and strategies

 

One of the most difficult challenges many staff teams face is a leader who has new ideas on a frequent basis. Those new ideas can set off a chain of changes that reverberate through the staff and organization as there is a scramble to implement the newest version of the leader's vision or strategy.

Any change that comes from the top impacts the organization. And changes are absolutely necessary from time to time. 

The challenge comes when a leader frequently tries new ideas as they seek the holy grail of organizational success without understanding the disorienting nature of what they think are simple (and brilliant) ideas. 

For the leader, the new solution seems obvious and simple. For staff, the new solution often creates frustration as their prior efforts to implement the last great idea are now supplanted by the need to scrap that work and work on a new strategy. This can create cynicism among staff who scramble to keep up with the latest strategy. Sometimes those new ideas are called the "flavor of the month" as staff knows there will be a new idea soon.

Resisting this temptation is part of the maturity growth of a leader.

This is not about resisting change. It is about being wise and managing change properly. How one does change management matters because many are impacted. Frequent changes indicate that the leader himself/herself is not clear as to where they are going. Lack of clarity in the mind of a leader is problematic!

A leader who frequently changes their mind or strategies often has not done the hard work of clarifying the organization's direction. Clarity of the organization's identity and what they are about must always precede strategies. When strategies come without organizational clarity, you simply get chaos as leaders throw ideas at the wall to see what may or may not stick. 

Wise leaders are clear on who the organization is and where it is going. In addition, they vet any proposed changes with other leaders to ensure that they have considered the unintended consequences of their decisions. And, they talk candidly with those who will be affected by the new direction so that staff is not taken by surprise. 

In my leadership history, I have waited up to a year to make a proposed change until I knew I had the support and understanding of the leadership team. I learned that I could not make unilateral changes but needed the wisdom and support of those around me to negotiate change successfully. That helped ensure I didn't act precipitously and create organizational whiplash. The counsel of others kept me from making changes too quickly, but I had to learn to work with my senior team rather than make unilateral decisions.

Clarity and care in the change process are part of a leader's maturity growth. Guided change based on clear objectives can keep leaders from creating whiplash with their staff. 

Church staff cultures: Who is responsible for ensuring that it is healthy?

 

In my many years of working with churches, I have encountered many situations where the culture of the staff is unhealthy. In many cases, these are good churches with vibrant ministries, and congregants would not necessarily know there are internal challenges. Although, inevitably, dishealth at the staff level does spill out into the congregation. It is usually only a matter of time.

Who is responsible for creating a healthy staff culture? That always falls to the senior leader who sets the tone. While they don't do this alone, they are the gatekeepers for ensuring it happens. While there are many facets to a healthy culture, I would argue that the following are critical: 

• The focus is always on Jesus and His mission for the church. It is always His agenda that matters, not ours.

• There is an intentional culture of candid conversation where any issue can be put on the table except for a personal attack or hidden agenda. In other words, there is the freedom to express one's views without fear of reprisal. This takes a leader who is non-defensive and open.

• There is clarity around the mission, the values, the direction, and each staff member's job. Without clarity, there cannot be alignment or desired results.

• There is an intentional disciple-making culture. That is the mandate for the church, but many churches don't have a plan. Without a disciple-making plan, it won't happen.

• All staff and members are treated with respect and kindness, and there is a marked absence of gossip or behaviors that don't fit a Jesus culture (think the fruit of the Spirit).

• A spirit of new ideas, innovation, and better ways of doing things is fostered.

• Staff are heavily empowered to carry out their work with great accountability. Empowerment and accountability go together. Senior leaders don't micromanage staff but empower them.

• Senior leader(s) serve their staff rather than believing that staff should serve them.

Where there are dysfunctional staff cultures, one or more of these elements is absent. In many staff cultures, there is not clarity, there is control rather than empowerment, staff are not treated with dignity and respect, alignment is not present, open dialogue is not allowed, and while there may be many good things happening ministry wise, they don't move people in a common direction of becoming disciples of Jesus. This is true of large and small congregations. 

Signs of an unhealthy staff culture include mistrust, keeping quiet, not being candid about what one sees, cliques, gossip, keeping your head down, and a low happiness factor. Add to that a significant amount of turnover as staff members get tired and worn down by the unhealthy culture. 

And so much of this comes back to a leader who is humble, put's the agenda of Christ above his/her own, is open, and has good Emotional Intelligence (EQ). I have never seen an unhealthy staff culture where there was not an unhealthy leader, nor a healthy culture without a healthy leader. I have never seen an exception to that rule. 

The core marks of a healthy leader are humility, a servant spirit, a desire to hear the opinions of others, the willingness to delegate authority and responsibility, the ability to clarify, treat everyone with respect, and a commitment to put the agenda of Christ first. 

Unfortunately, where the culture is unhealthy, it will inevitably impact the congregation as a whole because both health and dishealth spill over to the larger body.

So who is ultimately responsible for ensuring the health of staff? It is the board. The senior leader creates the culture, but a church board monitors that culture. Where there is a failure to create a healthy culture and a failure to monitor and deal with it, you have a major failure of leadership!

What is growing in your organization's culture?

 

Organizational culture and what it looks like is a critical component of any for-profit or not-for-profit enterprise. And you can be sure that your culture is growing either health or dishealth that will impact your organization. In fact, Culture is never neutral. It either contributes to a healthy organization or creates dysfunction and frustration. With culture, there is no neutral ground. 

Everyone who has worked anywhere has stories about culture. Many of them are unhealthy. The question is, why does dysfunctional culture so often get ignored? Why do leaders not deal with unhealthy aspects of their organization's culture?

Because culture sits in the background as an invisible, silent backdrop, we can simply get used to what it is without asking why or noticing its lack of health. We say about difficult people, "They are just like that," rather than asking why we tolerate their behavior. We get used to and content with what is rather than asking what could be. 

We may even have a level of cynicism about people or situations that frustrate us but assume nothing will ever change. We learn to accept substandard behaviors or lack of excellence and follow through. We are not surprised or bothered by unproductive meetings or unkept promises. We are used to what is. 

This is why there are often deep pockets of dysfunction in organizations, sometimes around one unhealthy individual that doesn't get addressed, yet it infects the whole. These pockets of dysfunction are like a petri dish of bacteria that is growing ugly stuff, but we are so used to it that we hardly notice. 

Sometimes, an organization's dysfunctional culture is so obvious that all see it. In other cases, that dysfunction is like a quiet illness permeating the company. Those pockets of dysfunctional culture create dysfunctional organizations which impact every individual, every team, and everything they do. 

Try a small experiment. Ask your coworkers or staff these three questions:

• If you could change three things about your workplace, what would they be?
• If you were in charge, what would you do differently?
• How would you rate the health of our culture on a scale of one to ten, with one being the lowest and ten being the highest? Why did you pick that number? What would make your score higher?

These questions and their answers are all about the culture and practices of your workplace. Some would object that the questions ignore many good things. That is probably true, but it is not the good things that create issues in an organization. Rather, it is the problematic things! If you focus on dealing with dysfunction and dishealth, along with a set of agreed-upon behaviors and attitudes, the culture of your organization will improve significantly over time. The result will be a more engaged workplace. 

What leaders and board members don't know and why

 

If you are in a leadership position, or a board member I have a question for you. How much do you really know about what is happening in your organization?

Studies show that leaders know far less than they think they do about what is really happening in their organization and that ignorance poses a danger to their leadership. It has been suggested that executives see 4% of the problems, Team Managers see 9% of the problems, Team Leaders see 74% of the problems and staff see 100%of the problems.

Anyone who consults, as I do, understands that this dynamic creates all kinds of issues that are dangerous to the organization. These include disgruntled staff, strategies that are no longer working, leaders who are creating more harm than good, and broken systems that eat up time and energy, and cost. 

Why does this "iceberg of ignorance" exist? Here are some reasons.

First, senior leaders (and board members) don't ask people in the organization the kinds of questions that would provide them with real knowledge. In fact, many in leadership don't ask questions at all. Rather, they assume that because they are in leadership that they understand and know the facts. That is a very dangerous and erroneous assumption. Leaders are often the last to know the actual state of affairs because unless asked, staff will not take the risk of being the bearer of bad news. 

Second, many leaders want to hear what makes them comfortable, not the real issues. Thus, they not only don't ask hard questions but they resist information that they find inconvenient. Staff quickly discern what it is that leaders want to hear and tailor their messages accordingly. It is simple self-preservation.

Peter Drucker is considered a management guru. He knew a ton about what was going on in industry and business. How did he know what he knew? Every morning for many years he would call "line operators" in various businesses and ask probing questions. He didn't call the presidents, vice presidents, or leadership team but those who actually did the work. And then he listened and asked follow up questions. 

One of the most strategic things any leader can do is to invest time, real time, in talking to staff at all levels. And in those conversations, ask good questions, listen carefully, and follow the trails that appear.

Here are some basic questions that will create meaningful dialogue and provide the leader with real information.

• On a scale of one to ten, what is your happiness factor in your work?
• What would make it higher?
• Do you have the necessary tools to do your work well?
• Are you being used to your fullest potential?
• What issues do you see from your vantage point that keep our organization from being as successful as it could be?
• Are there any people you work with who you think is in the wrong position?
• If you could change three things about our culture what would they be and why?
• If you were the president, what would you do differently in our organization?
• How can I and our management support you better?

The only way to truly understand what is going on outside of the rooms and meetings of power is to engage and listen to those who work at different levels of the organization. Never assume that you are getting the straight scoop from senior management. They often don't know because they don't ask the questions. But if you want to lead well, you will!

Ask the questions, listen carefully, and follow the trails and you will learn a great deal about the organization you lead. Ignore that discipline and you will be leading from ignorance. Many leaders do! Don't be one of them!

Ten Self Management Principles that will Impact your Leadership

 

Healthy leaders have learned the art of self-management, knowing who they are how they act and react, and the model they set directly impacts those who work under their leadership. There are ten critical self-management principles that all leaders should pay attention to.

Our Attitudes

Leaders do not have the luxury of being careless with their attitudes - toward people, situations, or life. One of the jobs of a leader is to inspire others toward healthy action, encourage the staff, and maintain a positive outlook on life, even when life is not cooperating. Their attitudes impact everyone around them.

Our Emotions

All of us have emotions. Leaders learn to manage their emotions so that their emotions do not cause them trouble. Think of how angry eruptions and words spoken in the heat of emotion cause harm to people. Leaders who cannot control their emotions cause uncertainty for their staff. It has been the downfall of many otherwise bright leaders.

Our Empathy

Without empathy, leaders are not seen as caring individuals but as cold and lacking concern. Some people have a lot of natural empathy. When that is not the case, leaders must cultivate the practice of empathy. Empathy is the key to healthy relationships, and relationships are the key to leadership.

Our Self Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to discern how we are perceived by others and how our actions, attitudes, and words impact others. Lack of self-awareness causes great misunderstanding and assumptions by others that we don't care. Leaders who are not naturally self-aware need coaching and feedback from others if they will lead successfully.

Our Focus

Focused leaders develop focused staff, while the opposite is also true. Good leaders hold themselves to a high standard of discipline in their work, including eliminating those things they should not do and focusing on the most strategic.

Our Empowerment

It is easy to control. It is harder to properly empower, but that is the key to a healthy team, and healthy leaders are rigorous in empowering others within boundaries to accomplish their work.

Our Boundaries

Boundaries are the things we do not allow in our behavior and in the behavior of others because it is hurtful to the culture we want to create. In effect, leaders set the boundaries for what is out of bounds within the organization or team.

Our Example

We lead most powerfully by example. When our stated commitments and examples are not in alignment, the result is cynicism. When they are in alignment, staff know that we are serious. Examples speak louder than words.

Our Humility

Everyone thinks they are humble, but that is the insidious nature of pride. Humility comes when we know our strengths are acutely and equally aware of our shadow side and our need for others. Humility is cultivated through time with God and a great deal of introspection.

Our Service

Few things speak louder than our commitment to serve those we lead and help them be all they can be. For leaders, life is not about us but about others and the mission that binds us together. The more we serve, the better leaders we become.

Each of these ten areas of a leader's life must be practiced intentionally for successful, healthy leadership.

Five ways that living in grace impacts our leadership and relationships

 

There are few issues more important to us personally or in our leadership than a proper understanding of grace. Our understanding, or lack of it, has significant implications for how we lead and how we respond and interact with others. It is one of those areas where theology and practice intersect in important ways.

First, leaders who understand and live in grace do not have a need to prove anything to God or to others. If I live in grace, I do not need to worry about being wrong, nor do I need to live with defensiveness. Many leaders in the Christian arena are more about proving they can be successful than they are about serving Jesus. Grace frees us from the need to prove anything to God or others and, therefore, allows us to live in freedom.

Second, leaders who understand and live in grace don't need to seek perfection, which is really all about proving something to others. They can rest in the fact that God is in control, and while we do the best we can, we can leave the results to God. We sow and water, but only God can bring the harvest. Without grace, leaders feel they need to produce results. Living in grace allows us to rest in Him, do the right things, and trust Him for transformational results.

Third, leaders who understand and live in grace are able to extend grace and understanding to their staff. This is not an excuse for allowing shoddy work. It is a posture of wanting the very best for others and extending the same grace that Jesus extends to us. Harsh leaders simply don't understand grace. Think of the Fruit of the Spirit, and you get the picture of what grace looks like in relationships. 

Fourth, leaders who understand and live in grace create cultures in their teams and organizations of grace. The culture of an organization is often a direct reflection of the leader's own spiritual and emotional health. Legalistic or harsh cultures simply reflect the ethos of their leadership. Where a leader understands and lives in grace, he/she creates that culture in the organization.

Fifth, leaders who understand and live in grace create cultures where there is no fear of candid dialogue and diverse opinions because grace allows us to live with a Nothing to Prove and Nothing to Lose attitude. Without defensiveness, we can invite honest dialogue, deal with elephants, and create a culture of grace and truth. Where that is not the case, I would argue that the leader (and or staff) are not living in grace.

I would guess there are many other implications of a life of grace. What I do know is that leaders who understand and live in grace create healthy cultures, and those who don't won't.

The most important trait of a church leader

In the years that I have worked with church leaders I have come to the conclusion that the single most important prerequisite for serving in leadership is a deep level of humility. The immediate pushback on this is that clearly, church leadership requires someone who knows and loves Jesus. That is true. But here is something that is also true. There are many leaders who claim to know and love Jesus but who are not humble and they often destroy the work of a healthy board. All other factors aside, without humility one cannot lead well.

Consider:

Humility is the key to leading on behalf of Jesus, the Shepherd of the Church. Church leaders are under shepherds and their role is to lead the congregation on behalf of Jesus. He sets the agenda for the church, not us. Many church leaders have agendas for the church. It takes a humble, Christ centered leader to lead a people to where God wants them to go. 

Humility is the key to ensuring that a church is a "Church called TOV" to use the title of a recent book. TOV is the Greek word for goodness and too many churches are not places of goodness (amazingly enough). It is often the lack of humility among senior leaders and board members that prevent TOV from being the prevailing culture because other personal agendas get in the way of God's agenda. 

Humility is the key to treating others with dignity, respect, kindness, and to empower others to flourish in their God given lane with their God given gifts. Proud leaders control others. Humble leaders empower others. The need of a leader to get their way, control those around them and "use" people for their own purposes destroys a TOV culture.

Humility is the key to creating an open learning culture. Proud leaders don't listen to others. They listen primarily to themselves or the yes people they surround themselves with. It takes humility to create a culture of robust dialogue - where any issue can be put on the table with the exception of a hidden agenda or a personal attack. 

Humility is the key to making decisions because the best decision making is not by one person alone but by a group of called, gifted leaders. Which means that there are times that I must submit my preferences to the decision of others. That takes humility and a theology of the giftedness of the group.

Humility is the key to personal spiritual growth and ongoing transformation. Proud people think they have it all together while humble leaders are very aware of their need for ongoing growth and transformation. And, they are willing to go there because they are not stubbornly holding on to their pride. There is no true personal growth without a spirit of humility.

None of this should surprise us as Paul points out in Philippians 2 that humility is a core feature of Jesus himself. In fact, in Matthew 11:29, Jesus says, "I am gentle and humble in heart." How many of us can say that about ourselves? How many church leaders and pastors can claim the same? Without humility we cannot be like Jesus or lead like Jesus.

One critical issue for new leaders: The speed of change is directly related to the speed of trust

Coming into an organization as a new leader is an event that will test the ability of even the best leader to manage the transition well. This is because change is an inevitable part of the process. Each leader has unique gifts and skills and they are hired because their gifts match the organizations needs at that time. So change is a given. Yet, that very change although needed, and even endorsed by those who hired the leader can be a difficult process. There are three reasons for this. 

One. Regardless of your resume or accomplishments which may bring great hope to the organization, you as an individual do not yet have the trust of the staff. This is even more important if the previous leader had violated trust with the staff as you may be seen through their lens.

Two. You are coming with a vision for the future but there is often a DNA and a culture that will stand in your way until it is changed - if it needs to be changed. In other words, if culture needs to shift, that is perhaps your most important work because culture trumps everything (even the best leadership), Until you have a culture that will allow you to move forward without a drag on the organization, many of your efforts will prove futile.

Three. In most organizations you have two primary staff constituencies: those who represent the past and will cling to the ideals of the past and those who represent the future and want to move forward. How one deals with this will vary but a new leader needs to recognize that both groups exist and until there is alignment, some things will have to wait.

The key to navigating these three realities is to build as much trust with staff as quickly as possible. Trust is the most important coinage a new leader has so developing that bond of trust is the most important and pressing job. 

Trust comes before most actions although taking some actions can actually build needed trust.  This will be counter-intuitive for many leaders because leadership is all about action. New leaders come in with a vision and an outside perspective that allows them to see what others don't see and they are ready to move! What they don't understand is that those they lead can either make their life easier or harder depending on the degree of trust that exists. Trust can be built quickly if you have a strategy for doing so.

Here are proven ways to get to where we desire to go.

First: Honor the past but build for the future. Too many leaders act as if nothing done before their arrival has any significance, forgetting that the present staff was all part of the past to one degree or another. It is not necessary to criticize the past if one has a vision for the future.  Honoring the past while you build for the future does not disenfranchise staff who were part of the past.

Second: Listen - a lot. Trust happens when individuals feel that their story and opinion counts. A new leader usually comes into their position with a well formed direction they intend to lead the organization. This a time to listen before revealing all that is on their mind. There is a large upside to this. In listening carefully to key staff, one can also make judgments as to whether they will fit in your preferred future. Listening builds trust in a significant way.

Third: Ask a lot of questions rather than making statements. Dialogue trumps telling every time and dialogue is nurtured by good questions. The answers to your questions also tell you a great deal about the thinking ability of staff, the vision and dreams that they have and the thoughtful nature of their responses. 

I have realized on a number of occasions that if I had not taken the time to get to know staff I would have made poor decisions. I would have let people go I actually needed and I would have kept those who did not actually fit. Our first impressions may not be accurate and until there is dialogue one will not know.

As you listen, you are making judgments regarding people and strategies. Where there are things you strongly disagree with, keep your own counsel or speak only to those who can help you make necessary changes. Careless words to others will cost one needed trust. 

Fourth, affirm everything and everybody that you can. You may not be able to affirm everything but you can affirm some things. The same is true with people. And remember, if there is a significant need for organizational change, it is because of a prior leader who allowed the organization to atrophy. There are staff who probably knew what was happening but their hands were tied. Don't blame them for what they were not responsible for. Be generous with your praise even if you intend to change many things. Criticism elicits no coinage. Affirm what you can and where you cannot, be light on criticism.

Fifth: be gracious even with those who won't be with you in the future. Graciousness costs you nothing. It is easy to be critical but the best leaders practice graciousness even when making needed changes. This means that we watch our words, our criticisms and our attitudes. 

Sixth: Share your vision for the future but cast it in "wet cement" so that staff can dialogue with you on that vision. In order for your vision to become a shared vision you need to engage people in significant dialogue. One cannot just pronounce vision. And a new leader's vision will not prevail anytime soon unless he/she can bring staff along with them. Find multiple ways and venues to share a new vision for the future and engage in dialogue. Again, listen carefully. Staff may know things you don't know and will either be able to help you or hinder you.

Seventh: As new leaders we come in with our plans but we need to realize that an organization can change only as fast as people can react to the speed of change. The speed of change is directly connected to the speed of trust. The higher the trust level of staff the faster the change. The lower the level of trust the slower the change. What this means is that the speed of change we are proposing is only possible if we are paying equal attention to the speed of trust. 

I have watched new leaders this transition because they believe that leadership is simply making the right calls. They made what they thought were the right calls but didn't listen to the wisdom of others, nor did they develop the level of trust they needed to bring staff with them. Eventually staff rebelled or constituents pushed back and it was over - especially true in nonprofits and churches.

Remember the speed of change is directly related to the speed of trust. Change always requires trust if you desire to being people with you.

So what is the most important job of a new leader who desires to bring change to an organization? It is the building of trust because trust is the coinage that allows them to lead in new directions and in new ways. The faster that trust can be developed, the faster the change can be implimented.

Team leaders straddle two worlds

Team leaders live and operate in two worlds and how well they do this will determine their effectiveness. Team leaders who do not understand the two worlds they straddle usually get themselves into trouble so understanding the two worlds is critical to leading well.

World one is the team they belong to and where their primary loyalty lies. This is not the team they lead. It is the team they belong to. Many team leaders do not understand this principle: Their loyalty is not primarily to their own team but to the higher team they are on. 

Let me illustrate. For many years I served as the leader of an international mission. But the senior team I belonged to was the senior team of the denomination. Thus my primary loyalty was to the team I was on and it was my responsibility to ensure that the team I led was always in alignment with the team I was on. 

On that senior team my job was not to advocate for the organization I led but to represent the whole organization - its mission and not "my slice of the pie." 

World two is the team that we lead. Every team has a unique mission that must exist in alignment with both the organizational mission as well as the other teams that make up the whole. That the team does this is the responsibility of the team leader. In this scenario, there is no place for politics, turf wars, silos or competition although this often exists and causes dysfunction within the organization.

Team leaders have the following responsibilities that impact both worlds.

• They must represent the ministry as a whole on the senior team they are on
• They must ensure that the team they lead is always in alignment with the organization's mission
• They cannot allow politics, turf wars, silos or competition to divide their team from the organization as a whole or from other teams
• The cannot engage in Leadership Default 

This last point is critical. Many team leaders want to be seen as one of the team. It is easy when decisions are made at the organizational level for a team leader to blame those above them for decisions because they don't want to take responsibility for those decisions. 

I call this Leadership Default because in blaming those above them, the team leader has introduced an us/them mentality to the organization and chosen to cause division between their team and the organization. This is a dysfunctional way to straddle the two worlds of a team leader. 

Team leaders have responsibility to the team they lead and the team they are on. Which one comes first matters and how they navigate those two relationships brings either alignment or division.