Critical spirits and the Christian community

If there is one thing that I wish we could erase from the Christian community it is the spirit of criticism. I am not talking about raising legitimate concerns about issues or circumstances but about individuals who consistently stir the pot and whose default is to criticism rather than to encourage. Criticism is not a spiritual gift! In fact it is just the opposite - it emanates from a spirit of mistrust, pride and superiority.

A spirit of criticism is life taking rather than life giving and as such is not from the Father (John 10:10). It emanates from the lower nature. There are congregations that specialize in criticism and it holds them back from being all that they can be. There are individuals whose specialty is criticism and I for one don't want to have such on my staff or for that matter in my circle of friends. I prefer to rub shoulders with life giving individuals rather than life taking. The world is cruel enough and adding critical spirits to it is anything but edifying.

The book of Ephesians talks a lot about the kinds of attitudes and words that should characterize believers and none of them include a spirit of criticism. In fact, we are told that nothing should come out of our mouths that does not uplift those who we speak to. Something to consider.

Before we criticize we ought to ask ourselves these questions:

• Is this simply a preference for how I would do things?
• Will my comments encourage or discourage?
• What is it in me that creates a critical spirit?
• How would I feel if I had made this decision and was criticized for it? 
• How would Jesus approach this issue? Would he approach this issue?
• Do I really want to weigh in on this issue? The more critical we are the less we are heard. Does this raise to the level where it is really necessary for me to be critical?

Leaders are especially magnets for criticism. They make decisions and many love to second guess what those decisions should be. Board members or staff who have a spirit of criticism are the cause of much discouragement for leaders. For those who have such a gift of criticism I wish they could walk for a week in the shoes of a leader. It is easy to criticize. It is much more difficult to come up with real solutions.

Think of the fruit of the spirit. None of the characteristics include a spirit of criticism. We ought to be quick to encourage and slow to discourage. Criticism is the ultimate trigger for discouragement. Even when Jesus confronted sin he did so with great grace (the pharisees excepted). A spirit of criticism is not a spirit that comes from our Savior.

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.

Want to grow your staff or elder/leadership board?

Deep Influence, which will release on Jan 1, 2015 is an excellent resource for your staff and elder/leadership board. If you are a ministry leader these are twelve issues that you wish your staff and board understood. This book with its accompanying questions will help you grow yourself and those who work with you. The chapter titles are as follows :

Forged on the Inside

Choosing a Posture of Humility

Embracing Spiritual Transformation

Suffering and Leadership

Managing the Shadow Side

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Leading from Who God Made Me to Be

Choosing Intentionality

Thinking Like a Contrarian

Living with the Freedom of Clarity 

Powerful Transparency

Guarding our Hearts

To order at the lowest price and with $2.00 per book discounts for ten or more you can order from the author's bookstore.

Some of the book's Endorsements

“We get formed from the outside in, but we lead from the
inside out. T. J. Addington explains this process with clarity and
conviction. In an age of superficiality, he will guide you to the
deeper places of influence and change.”
John C. Ortberg
Author, speaker, and senior pastor of Menlo Park Presbyterian
Church in Menlo Park, CA

“I’ve been a fan of T. J. Addington for a long time. I’m a wiser
and better leader because of his writings. But Deep Influence is
his most important contribution yet. Every young leader will
gain decades of leadership wisdom forged in the painful trenches
of reality. Veteran leaders will be inspired to finish strong.”
Gene Appel
Senior pastor of Eastside Christian Church in Anaheim, CA

“Any leader willing to offer his story authentically and invite
others to do the same is an author worth paying attention to.
T. J. is a man who has cultivated his inner life around the person
of Christ and allowed God to shape and reshape his heart, mind,
relationships, and priorities. He has led from a spiritual depth
and now is sharing his biblical and transformational insights
in Deep Influence. I’m delighted to encourage Christian leaders
to consider each chapter herein with prayerful seriousness and
godly attentiveness.”
Stephen A. Macchia
Founder and president of Leadership Transformations, director
of the Pierce Center at Gordon-Conwell Seminary, and author
of Becoming A Healthy Church and Crafting A Rule of Life


“My friend T. J. Addington is a wise leadership guru, and
Deep Influence is his most profound book on the subject! A
seasoned, reflective practitioner, T. J. masterfully tackles the most
challenging terrain of leadership—the inner life of the leader—
along with the empowering practices each leader must cultivate.
Few books effectively deal with leadership from the inside out.
This is one of the best!”
Edmund Chan
Leadership mentor at Covenant EFC and founder of
Global Alliance of Intentional Disciplemaking Churches

“As a wife, mother, and educator, I’ve been challenged and
reminded through this book of what it truly means to live an
authentic life in Christ. It begins with humility and honesty—
seeking the heart of God and living out all that He calls us to be.
It is through this personal relationship with Christ that we are
then able to be molded and crafted to become effective in our
leadership roles and to influence others. If your desire is to live
out your calling with great effectiveness as you reflect Christ to a
seeking world, Deep Influence is just the navigation you need!”
Melissa Larson
Adjunct professor of Biblical and Theological Studies at
University of Northwestern

“If you are not yet convinced that the most difficult challenge
you will face as a leader is in ‘self-leadership,’ then read Deep
Influence. My dear friend T. J. Addington sharpened his ministry
leadership out of the depths of life experience even as God
granted and grew him into a major leadership role for the global
church. Deepened by a vital spiritual relationship with God,
he enriches fellow leaders with practical wisdom toward deep influence for God’s purposes.”
Ramesh Richard, ThD, PhD
President of RREACH, professor at Dallas Seminary, and
founder of Trainers of Pastors International Coalition (TOPIC)

“Deep Influence is an invitation to listen to a seasoned leader’s
voice dripping with the life-giving wisdom of Jesus. The
practices in this book will lead to an exegesis of the heart and
guide the reader into the lifelong journey of allowing God to
mold ‘who we are,’ which informs ‘what we do.’”
Tom Smith
Pastor, husband, co founder of Rhythm of Life, and author
of Raw Spirituality: The Rhythms of the Jesus Life

“Deep Influence cuts to the core of leadership and returns
character to the central place it occupies in God’s eyes. I have
shelves full of books on leadership, but this one leaves you
knowing you can be better and lead better. It is significant
without being tedious, direct but not discouraging. Buy it, read
it, mark it up, and read it again. Addington ought to be on top
of the pile.”
David W. Hegg, DMin
Pastor, adjunct professor, and author of The Obedience Option

“Deep Influence, every chapter, was a deep dive into my
motives, methods, mind, mission calling, leadership style, and
relationships that brought me to a place of unexpected and
unconventional light, revealing a clear, fresh, exciting perspective
to press forward. T. J. humbly said it well—‘Depth matters’—
as he carefully and biblically aimed at my life through the person
of Jesus Christ and hit my inner target: the sanctum of my heart.
This book is a transparent, transformational leadership mirror
that leads to intentional joy and freedom. Ephesians 2:10 came
alive in me, and it will in you.”
Doug Fagerstrom, DMin
Senior vice president of Converge and author of The Ministry
Staff Member and The Volunteer

“With skill and clarity, T. J. Addington argues that leadership
is not about technique—it is about character. What matters
most is not how we lead but from what source we choose to lead.
Whether you are a ministry leader or a leader in the marketplace,
this book describes the practices that will enable you to lead
from the inside out. If you want to grow as a leader, this book
is a great place to start.”
George Davis, PhD
Senior pastor of Hershey Free Church in Hershey, PA

“Deep Influence draws an effective map for exploring the inner
life so often neglected by today’s image-conscious leader. T. J.’s
emphasis on personal integrity, authenticity, and emotional
intelligence offers a healthy antidote to the toxic influence
of every leader’s shadow side. His practical, personal counsel
encourages, challenges, and inspires every leader to pursue the
slower, more intentional, inside-out path to deeper, lasting
impact in ministry.”
Russ Kinkade, PsyD
Psychologist and executive VP of Shepherds Ministries

A fascinating blog from Bill Gates

We live in a material world: How cement, iron
and other stuff makes modern life possible.

Worship leadership calls for worshipers, not spectators

An insightful article on worship

Do You Hear The People Sing?

Give the gift of Hope this Christmas to those who need it

Nothing describes the incarnation better than hope. Yet there are many who need the gift of hope this Christmas. This book was written for those who are walking through hard times - to give them the ultimate hope. If you know someone who needs the gift of hope this Christmas, this is a gift that will deliver much needed hope. To order, just click on the book cover.

From the forward:
Life has come undone. One day life is normal, and the next day our
lives are thrown into confusion and chaos. Like a drowning person, we find ourselves fighting to get back to the surface so we can take a breath.Pain, fear, and uncertainty have taken over. It is hard to even grasp this new reality as our minds and hearts shout, “This cannot be!”

If any of this describes you, a friend, or family member, this book is written for you. This is an authentic experience with life and pain and faith. Ultimately, this book offers hope for what can be after life has come undone, but before we get to what can be we must deal with what is. We must struggle through the emotional turmoil when life’s rules change cruelly without our permission.

No matter how strong our faith, such events often create a crisis of
faith. To not ask hard questions about God’s love and faithfulness in the trauma of life undone is abnormal, maybe irrational. Never is our understanding of God’s love, grace, and mercy more challenged and the answers more important than when life is hard and hope is scarce. We hang on to faith by the tips of our fingers as our minds work to encompass issues we have never had to understand except in a theoretical way.

To all of this there are no easy answers and often just more questions. The life undone forces us to question and reexamine the very core of what faith and life are about. I have asked these hard questions, and I am sure you have as well.

I invite you on a journey toward a life of hope, wholeness, and freedom. You can get there, regardless of how your life has come undone. This is not a journey of easy answers but one of honest realities, unlikely gifts, divine scars, God’s goodness, and ultimately a freedom that you have never experienced before.

There is nothing theoretical about When Life Comes Undone. It
comes out of real life, real pain, real struggle, and real faith. It explores the question, How do we walk by faith when life is hard and hope is scarce? Where is God in our pain? Why does God allow life to come undone when I have served Him and followed Him? There are no easy answers, but there are divine perspectives that can help us on that hard journey we all walk at one time or another.

I have walked this hard path. Walk with me toward freedom.
When life comes undone, having a community of support becomes
crucial. You may choose to use this book in a small group with others who are on this journey. Finding your freedom may involve receiving from others as well as giving your compassion and prayer to others. Use the discussion questions at the end of each chapter in your small group. Each chapter also includes a prayer, as an example of praying boldly. I invite you to prayerfully read through this book, allowing God to minister to your heart and heal your pain.

Listening to voices that make us feel uncomfortable

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned as a leader is to listen to voices and opinions that make me feel uncomfortable. It is not that I need to agree with them but I do need to listen to them and evaluate the perspective I am hearing. 

Think of the complexity of the world in which we live. We have perspectives of men and women (often different), first and second generation immigrants (often different), the outlook of various racial groups (witness Ferguson) and significant differences in the outlooks of differing age groups. It is in this environment that we are called to do ministry and advance the kingdom of Jesus - together.

I think it was no accident that Jesus brought together the most amazing group of disciples that would never have bonded apart from Him. He was making the point that in Him we can become one. In Him there is no Jew or Gentile, male or female, free or enslaved. In Him we  are one. The challenge of course is in living that truth out in the real life ministries we are a part of. Not easy indeed but possible if our vision is on the family God is intent in creating as His family. 

That means, however that we need to listen to the voices that make up the family we are a part of. All of us seen from our own perspective while Jesus desires us to see from His perspective. And His perspective takes in all of His people and their views and unique outlooks on life. Can it be uncomfortable? Yes! Can it help us grow and expand our views on life and ministry? Absolutely! It is our unity in our diversity that makes us the strongest as God's family. In that sense I love to be made uncomfortable because it helps me understand Him in a fuller way and the family of God in its fullness. 

The theology of the priesthood of all believers is a powerful reason to listen to fellow believers and seek to understand their perspective. They like us have the Holy Spirit dwelling in their hearts and it is us together that make up the wonderful and diverse family that is His family.

The kind of leader I aspire to be

There are no perfect leaders. The question is what kind of leader we aspire to be and what we are willing to do about it. I aspire to be a particular kind of leader that is counter cultural because that is what Jesus was. He sets the agenda for leaders who represent Him. I aspire to be a leader who is:

• Humble - knowing who I am, knowing who I am not and knowing Who gave me the gifts I have and why He gave them.
• Missional - possessing clarity on what God has called me to do and clarity on what He has not called me to do.
• Healthy - in my physical life, spiritual life, emotional life, relational life and skill set.
• Empowering - committed to developing, empowering and releasing others into their God given destiny.
• Christ centered - where it is all about Him and not about me.
• Intentional - living out the clarity that God has given me and not being distracted by less important things.
• Learning - we never arrive and I desire to keep becoming better at what God has called me to do. My goal is to create a culture of robust dialogue and learning so that we never become complacent and always keep growing.
• Gracious - treating people the way Jesus treated them and caring for them the way He cared for them.
• Candid - without spin or pretense, providing honest feedback and analysis.

Those I lead will be the first to tell you that I don't do any of this perfectly but I hope they would affirm that this is my heart, my intention and what I aspire to. What kind of leader do you aspire to be?

All of T.J. Addington's books are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 discount on orders of ten or more.