11 steps to confronting problematic DNA in a congregation

Churches can experience spiritual renovation if their leaders are committed to helping the congregation become healthy. It is, however, not an easy process. Here are 11 steps to the process of confronting problematic DNA in a congregation. 

Remember that crisis can be a friend.

Spiritual renovation for congregations, like individuals, often starts in crisis. Pain is a friend for those who will listen - a wake-up call that not all is well. Rather than run, wise leaders use a crisis to ask important questions about the health of the church, about the past, and about the future. Crisis often reveals spiritual fault lines in a congregation - unhealthy DNA - that need to be addressed. Wise leaders know that you never waste the opportunity that a crisis presents.

Start to lead more intentionally.

Spiritual renovation of a congregation requires courageous leaders who are not afraid to face brutal facts, who are willing to admit sin or dysfunction and make commitments to change, and who will lead their congregation in a healthy spiritual direction. This never happens by accident but rather by charting an intentional process toward renovation.

Face reality

Wise leaders face reality rather than run from it, no matter how painful or unpleasant. Facing reality is a necessary prerequisite to healing and wholeness. Leaders in troubled congregations must first clearly understand the issues that have contributed to where they find themselves. Often, these issues are long-standing and may even go back to the founding of the church. Crisis can bring them to the surface and give leaders an opportunity to deal with them if we are willing to face reality rather than run from it or ignore it. This takes courage because there will always be pressure to ignore or cover up problems that have been longstanding. In fact, that is why they are longstanding problems in the first place.

Confess sinful practices or unhealthy practices.

Where there are significant areas of sin (often the root of unhealthy genetics), those sins need to be confessed and renounced by church leaders. The naming of the sin, along with its confession, is a powerful step for church leaders. Or, it may simply be unhealthy practices. Again, those unhealthy practices need to be named and a commitment made to better practices. 

Covenant to new practices

Unhealthy and sinful practices need to be replaced by healthy and godly practices. If a new genetic code is going to be planted in a congregation, it needs to be specified and articulated, and leaders need to commit to it first. A written document can become a reminder of your commitment to renovation - one that articulates both what has been confessed and what new practices have been embraced.

Recruit a guiding coalition.

Significant change across a congregation takes more than the influence of the leadership board. Bring into your process other leaders in the church who can embrace and model with you the changes that need to be made. And those who can lend their influence to the process.

Model, teach, and establish new practices

At this point, you will need to be proactive in teaching, modeling, and establishing new, godly, or healthy practices at every level of ministry. Talk frankly with the congregation from the pulpit, in small and large group settings, in membership classes, and wherever you can to remind them of 'who you are' as a congregation and the commitments you have made to be the authentic body of Jesus Christ. At all costs, keep the issues in front of the leadership community so that you model that to which you have called the congregation.

Establish a prayer coalition.

Things happen when people pray. The Holy Spirit starts to remind us of positive behaviors and convict us of sinful behaviors. Engage a prayer team to specifically pray that God would bring change to the congregation.

Don't be surprised if things get worse before they get better.

That may surprise you, but it is often the case. Exposing sinful, unhealthy, or long-accepted practices and calling people to new and healthier practices is not going to make everyone happy. Often, you will face deep resistance from a segment of the congregation even though you are calling the congregation to healthier and more godly practices. In many cases, this resistance comes from those who may have created those practices in the past and are therefore threatened by change. This is where many leaders cave to the pressure. Don't! It is a natural part of the process. 

Realize that it's OK when people leave during renovation - expect it.

If you have walked through significant crisis and change in a church-leadership setting, you know how discouraging it is to come to a meeting after meeting and hear the latest list of those who have left the church. Spiritual renovation in a church will often leave some people cold - people who have no desire or intention to renovate their attitudes or change their behavior. We cannot force others to change. Leaders need to know that it is OK when people leave. Don't let this intimidate you.


When leaders start to lead well, they help the congregation clarify who they are as a church and what their future is. Clarification causes some to say, I don't want to be on this bus anymore. It's going in a direction I don't want to go.' Often, those who leave your church disgruntled find another church where they can fit in and minister productively.

Hang in, trust God, keep praying, and lead wisely.

Spiritual renovation of congregations is not easy and is rarely fast. However, God wants to bring renewal. If leaders are patient, stay the course, do what is right, and keep praying, chances are good that renovation will come.

Creating cultures of excellence
AddingtonConsulting.org

How do Churches End Up with Domineering Bullies for Pastors - From the Gospel Coalition

How Do Churches End Up with Domineering Bullies for Pastors? 

From the Gospel Coalition

See also
Abuse in the Church: When the bully is the pastor 

Creating cultures of excellence
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Understanding what good and bad EQ (Emotional Intelligence) look like

Emotional Intelligence (EQ), is the ability to understand ourselves, know what drives us, accurately understand how we are perceived by others, and understand how we relate to others. EQ measures whether we have the relational skills to work synergistically with others while being ‘self defining’ and allowing others to speak into our lives or work without defensiveness. Many of the actions, responses, attitudes and relational tendencies relate to our EQ. Healthy leadership therefore requires healthy EQ since leadership is all about relationships and people. One can lead from a position of authority with poor EQ but one cannot lead through deep influence without healthy EQ.

I believe that we pay far too little attention to issues of EQ in the hiring of leaders, building of teams or in our own lives. There are many brilliant individuals whose poor emotional intelligence leaves havoc in their wake. Poor emotional intelligence on the part of leaders is the major cause of relational and leadership issues. It is an issue every leader needs to pay close attention to. Those who do not end up hurting their leadership and the organization they lead. Several key issues of EQ stand out for leaders.

Consider these signs of poor EQ

• Defensiveness
• Inability to resolve conflict or negotiate differences in a healthy way
• Lack of empathy and understanding leaving people feeling hurt
• Marginalization of those who disagree with us
• Narcissism, where it is all about “me”
• A need to get our own way
• Control of others rather than empowerment
• Inapproachability by staff, volunteers or board members
• Use of spiritual terms like “God told me” or “spiritual warfare” to shut down discussion
• Lack of flexibility and ability to negotiate issues for a win/win solution
• Holding grudges and lack of forgiveness
• Inability to play on a team
• A history of relational problems with people one has worked with
• Lack of sensitivity to how actions, behaviors or words affect others
• Personal insecurity
• Inability to be self defining while maintaining good relationships
• Attitudes of cynicism and mistrust toward others
• A poor understanding of one’s strengths and weaknesses
• A victim mentality where we are the victims and it is always someone else’s fault when conflict occurs
• Seeing the world in black and white where there are good guys and bad guys and not much in between leading to the demonization of others
• Needing to be popular
• Becoming enmeshed in other people’s issues
• High personal anxiety over aspects of my job
• Saying one thing to one individual and another thing to others

Consider these signs of good EQ

• I am approachable and have a nothing to prove, nothing to lose attitude
• I seek to resolve conflict quickly and well
• I am self defined but always leave the door open for dialogue with those who disagree and work to keep the relationship
• I live with self confidence but not hubris
• I am highly flexible
• I seek to understand myself well including, weaknesses and strengths and the shadow side
• I ask others for feedback on my behaviors
• I am a team player and value “us” more than “me”
• I work very hard to understand others and put myself in their place
• I don’t hold grudges and extend forgiveness easily
• I don’t need to be popular but I do desire to be respected
• When conflict occurs I take responsibility for my part
• There are no issues that are off limits for my team to discuss
• I am patient with people and always give them the benefit of the doubt
• I have a sense of humor about myself and don’t take myself too seriously

Creating cultures of excellence
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A question that too few leaders and supervisors ask of their staff

It is a simple question but one that unasked can have significant ramifications. It is this: Are you being used to your capacity? Or another way of asking this is Are you challenged and engaged? Often the answer is NO. The no signifies someone who wants more on their plate, who is underutilized and may not be fully engaged which leaves them vulnerable to looking for another job and another organization.

Of course, the loss to your organization whether they stay or leave is that gifts and potential are left on the table, a situation that few organizations can afford in our competitive day. All organizations have more that we could be doing than we do with the people we have. Leaving coinage on the table is foolish!

Why is this question not asked more often? It is because supervisors take the status quo for granted, and assume that staff are in their lane. When I do staff audits for ministries and organizations I find that there are many instances where staff feel underutilized and long for the opportunity to take on more responsibility. That is a gift to the enterprise if we can uncover it.

It is not unusual for staff to leave one organization and find another opportunity at another with higher responsibility and higher pay. Who loses? Usually it is the organization that missed the cue because they didn't ask and the staff member assumed that there was not way for them to develop in the place that they are. One simple question might have saved an employee who your organization had invested a great deal in.

Watch your staff and their abilities. Talk to them informally. Find out what their passions are and where they are on the happiness scale. Ask if they are engaged and fulfilled. And if not and you value them, try to get them into a place where they can use their gifts and abilities to the fullest degree.

Creating cultures of excellence
AddingtonConsulting.org

What is your word for the year?

Here is a simple exercise but one that can have a significant impact on your year. It is January so it is not too late to put into action. Consider praying about one word that you would like to focus on this year. My word for this year is peace. To be a person of peace, live in peace, have a home characterized by peace. Each morning as I awake I remind myself that I want to be a person of peace and live a peaceful life.

What is the one word that you would like to characterize your year? Courage? Reconciliation? Intimacy? Love? Joy? Patience? Healing? Leadership? Usually one does not need to think long and hard because you have already been thinking about something in your life that you need to focus on.

Because I journal I can note each day what I did to live out the meaning of the word peace. There are many opportunities and many ways I can do this. It is simply another way that I can be intentional in my life as I listen to God's promptings. If one does this year after year the cumulative affect can be significant.

What is your word?

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Life giving behaviors of healthy leaders

There are some life giving behaviors that good leaders engage in and live by. It is what sets them apart from other leaders, gives them great credibility and earns them the loyalty of their staff. It is also what makes their ministry or team successful. I say life giving because they give life to people and to the mission of the team or organization.

One: Good leaders never make it about themselves. They have the humility to understand that their leadership is about the mission they have been given and that they are stewards of that mission. Healthy leaders keep the focus on the mission, not on themselves. While relationships are critical the best glue is missional glue.

Two: Good leaders build a great team. Many leaders hire people who will do what they tell them. The best leaders hire people who they can empower within boundaries and release them. They empower rather then control and are not afraid of staff whose skills exceed their own. In fact they intentionally look for people who are better than they are in the areas they lead.

Three: Good leaders do not take credit for success. They give it to the whole team rather than take it themselves. They know that without God's empowering and the team they work with, success would not happen. It is not about me but about us together. Staff are not always out front and they appreciate it when their leader platforms them.

Four: Good leaders don't blame others for failures. Bad things happen and leaders know that if it happens on their watch they need to take responsibility. This sends a strong message that "my leader has my back." There may be private conversations but in public, there is no blame.

Five: Good leaders don't fail to address known issues. One of the things that gives leaders credibility with their staff is that they deal with issues even when they are hard. Issues that are not dealt with hurt staff and the ministry and staff need their leader to step into the tough places. Respect for a leader comes when they engage the issues rather than ignore the issues.

Six: Good leaders build a healthy life giving staff culture. Healthy cultures have an ethos of candid conversation, collegial relationships, trust, lack of turf wars, common mission, cooperation and humility. They avoid gossip, undermining of others, unresolved conflict, passive aggressive behavior,  and other negative behaviors that destroy healthy cultures.

Seven: Good leaders don't ask others to do what they don't do. They model the values and commitments of the organization, don't take advantage of their position and lead the way by example.

Eight: Good leaders pay significant attention to their staff. Making time for staff, being available to them, removing barriers they face and staying relationally connected are all factors in a healthy staff culture. They are never too busy to ensure that staff have what they need to do their job well.

Nine: Good leaders keep the mission central all the time. Few things are more demoralizing than mission drift because it robs the organization and staff of a cause worth giving their lives for. One of the first jobs of all leaders is to keep the mission front and central with great clarity.'

Ten: Good leaders continually clarify what is important. There is nothing more helpful to any team or organization than clarity. Ambiguity creates all kinds of questions while clarity answers those questions. Leaders clarify all the time.

Eleven: Good leaders foster candid dialogue and a non-defensive spirit.  It is wonderfully refreshing to meet leaders who encourage honest dialogue and who are totally non-defensive when their ideas are challenged.

Twelve: Good leaders lead collaboratively rather than autocratically. Collaborative leadership beats autocratic leadership every time because there is greater intellectual capital at the table as well as greater by-in. Few truly good staff will stay long term without having a voice at the table.

Thirteen: Good leaders require high accountability but exercise low control. They set appropriate boundaries but give a great deal of empowerment. Nor do they insist that staff do things their way but encourage them to use their creativity and gifts.

Fourteen: Good leaders develop their staff and the next generation of leaders. It is life giving when leaders are proactive in helping their staff grow. It is critical to the ministry to develop the next generation of leaders.

Fifteen: Good leaders don't stay beyond their usefulness. There comes a time for leaders to move on and it is better to move on when people want you to stay than leave when people want you to leave. And when they leave, they leave well!