Transparency in the church: Twelve principles for dealing with bad news!

 

One of the unfortunate practices of the church is to spin problematic news rather than to be candid enough that reasonable people can understand what is going on in a particular situation. Spin, of course, is the manipulation of a message so that what is problematic or plainly bad looks less so and those who are resposible are able to offload responsibility. 

We watched in bemusement as the leaders of Willow Creek and Harvest Bible Chapel tried to protect themselves by massive spin - denying that there was anything wrong until events forced their hand. The truth is that many of us looking in knew there was more to the story than was being shared and the denials in the face of multiple situations and people coming forward made it impossible to believe the spin.

When one hears spin from Washington or in the news, it is often apparent. It is no different with a church. Eventually the truth is going to come out and leaders who have spun the story or manipulated the facts to make things look better than they are will lose their credibility when it does. Hence the resignations of entire boards at Willow and Harvest. Whatever the original issues, the spin caused tremendous damage to the church and the belief that their leaders had told them the truth. The result is that both organizations are in significant trouble as congregants are leaving in significant numbers. 

Bad news can be handled if it is communicated truthfully. This does not mean that leaders must tell all they know but it does mean that what they share must be true. In addition, they must share enough of the facts for reasonable people to understand and to have context.

 Here is the irony of spin. In an effort to preserve their reputation as leaders or the reputation of a leader who has made mistakes or is guilty of impropriety, all parties involved in the spin lose far more credibility than they would have if they had simply told the truth. Enough truth for people to understand what went wrong.

Here are some principles when something goes wrong or must be reported to a congregation.

First, don't hide the issue. You actually win points for being candid in a timely manner.

Second, you do not have to reveal everything you know but you must reveal enough for reasonable people to understand what you are dealing with.

Third,when bad news ocurrs, come with a good plan of how you intend to address it and ensure that you will get to the bottom of whatever has happened.

Fourth, run a good process and report back to the congregation what has been discovered. It is foolish to run bad process and face criticism for both the problem and the response to the problem.

Fifth, remember that if you do not share adequate information it will come back and bite you every time. Truth does rise to the surface eventually and on that day those who dealt with the issue will also face scrutiny and evaluation as well as the one responsible for the original issue. 

Sixth, if you attempt to protect the guilty you become one of the guilty. Lack of truth is enanthema to God and to those you serve. When there is smoke and fire and leaders try to downplay that reality, they engage in lies and falsehoods. 

Seventh, it is the job of leaders to protect their flock. Being dishonest or covering up what is evident or true is not protection but collusion. 

Eighth, always get outside counsel. When the stuff hits the fan, it is hard for those who are in leadership to be objective. Our instinct is to want to make the issue go away. To "protect the church" by pretending the issues are not as bad as they seem. Outside counsel from someone who has experience in these situations will go a long way to get it right the first time. 

Ninth, allow outside wise and godly counsel to help you in your communication with the congregation. You don't want, like Willow, to have to come back a second time or a third time to "clarify" rather than simply communicating bad news upfront.

Tenth, once you have told the truth, ask the church to pray. Asking the congregation to pray when you are not being upfront won't work. People know when they are being manipulated and not being told the truth. In these situations, you will not get prayer but gossip, questions and anger. 

Eleventh, you need a plan for helping the congregation heal. This may take time and trying to "get it behind you" without adequate process will often cause more pain that it will healing. Again, outside counsel can help you get this right. 

Finally, be compassionate toward the guilty but don't protect them. That is not your job. Truth means that you are upfront with the issue without seeking to protect. Grace means that we seek to help the individual(s) involved find healing as well. 

The situation at Willow and Harvest today would look much different if these twelve principles had been followed. The pain experienced by these congregations was greatly intensified by the actions of leaders. While these are highly visible examples, the same responses are played out in smaller churches regularly. Remember the more spin there is, the longer it will take to heal and the more cynicism will grow - which will hamper future leaders from leading with trust. 

The society of the Bent and Broken

We live in a broken world. Some of us know it better than others. In many churches there is a Celebrate Recovery ministry which ministers to those who know they are broken. Ironically, many others in the church are also broken but they hide behind a facade of "respectability" - pretending and posturing to prove all is well. 

Those who are broken but choose to hide that brokenness not only don't get better but they live double lives, torn between who they want to be and who they know they are. Unfortunately, the very place that was designed to be the place of transparency and healing is most often a place of hiding and judgement. In many churches grace is very hard to find - if you are broken. 

Without grace, there cannot be healing. Without transparency and the safety of sharing ones brokenness there is no healing. We are great in the evangelical world of shaming the broken which is a defensive mechanism to keep people looking at others rather than looking at ourselves. Why is there Celebrate Recovery? Partly because it is a safe place to admit brokenness. Most of the church is not safe and many are hiding those places where they are bent out of fear of what people will think. And say. And judge. And shame. And shun.

The pharisees were like many in the church. Yes, there are many pharisees in the church. They objected to Jesus spending time with prostitutes, tax collectors and the general riffraff of his day. Why did he spend his time there? Because these people knew and admitted their brokenness. Leaving Jesus to say that he came for the sick, not the healthy. Of course, the pharisees of that day or this are not healthy either but are good at pretending. And when a woman poured expensive perfume on his feet and someone objected at the waste of money, Jesus looked at him and said those who have received much grace appreciate that grace. Those who don't think they need it don't appreciate.

There are churches here and there that break the mold: places of safety, transparency and healing. Having worked with many churches, however, I believe them to be a small minority. I no longer expect churches to play the role of healing. Rather, those who know their brokenness and have found healing reach out with amazing grace and come alongside those who need love, help and grace. 

Read the Gospels and see how Jesus interacted with sinners. Ironically the only people he was judgmental of were those who refused to admit their brokenness. Again the pharisees. 

The cost of elephants and the cost of transparency

Elephants are those issues that a team or organization knows is present but no one feels that they can talk about. That fear comes from knowing that the leader is not willing to put those issues on the table and you will be met with resistance, pushback or retribution. The number of elephants in any organization is a direct indicator of its health. The greater the number of elephants, the more unhealthy the organization. A low number of elephants indicates a healthier organization. 

Here is what we forget. There is a high cost to elephants. Elephants represent issues that ought to be addressed because they are negatively impacting the organization or team. Choosing to leave elephants alone means that these issues cannot be solved. And the ironic thing is that everyone is aware that the elephant exists even as they try to pretend that it is not present which of course they know it is. Elephants breed cynicism and mistrust when unaddressed.

There is an alternative to letting the elephants be but it also comes with a cost. The alternative is transparency, what I call in my writings Robust Dialogue. Its definition is that any issue can be put on the table with the exception of a personal attack or hidden agenda. 

The cost? The cost is that Robust Dialogue means that there will be uncomfortable conversations from time to time. Yet without uncomfortable conversations there is no significant progress, there are no paradigm shifts and there are no game changers. Elephants keep progress from occurring while Robust Dialogue forces the conversation and drives change in the process. So the cost of elephants is stagnation while the cost of Robust Dialogue is hard conversations and progress. 

Both elephants and transparency have a cost attached. And a result. The question is which result do we want? If you are a leader at any level, which culture are you creating? If it is a culture of not rocking the boat you will allow elephants to exist and guard the status quo. It is a comfortable place for you to be. If it is a culture of transparency you will drive progress at the cost of hard conversations. It may be uncomfortable but it will be far more successful. 

You may think there are no elephants on your team or in your organization. There is one good way to find out. Ask your staff what elephants exist that need to be named? They will tell you and once an elephant is named it is no longer an elephant but simply an issue to be discussed.

The church is often a place of lies rather than a place of truth

No, I am not talking theology, especially in the evangelical world. I am talking about how we pretend we are "all together," the struggles we hide and the huge lack of transparency about our lives because it is not safe to tell the truth: That we are broken, struggling, hurting people, deeply in need of grace and deeply in need of the support of other believers if we could only tell them our need.

But in most churches, telling others our need can be dangerous. People talk, people can subtly condemn and in truth, being transparent is a threat to the system as most churches are not transparent. After all, as believers we must have our lives together.

We forget what drew people to Jesus: His indescribable grace and acceptance and love. That is also what draws people to us (if they are drawn to us) and should be the biggest magnet in the church. But that means we must major on God's grace and that those who walk through our doors will feel that grace no matter what their background or their struggles.

And this is what we cannot forget. I can know Jesus for many years and still desperately need His grace and forgiveness. The fact that I have known him does not exempt me from my need of Him. If we all understood that in the church it would be a far more transparent and grace filled place. 

Ironically, our struggles are common struggles so pretending they are not there is silly. It is also a lie. And it keeps us from supporting one another, praying for one another and doing what God does so well, extending grace to one another. 

What would it be like if our churches were the safest place on the face of the earth to be transparent rather than the most unsafe? What would it be like if rather than lying to one another (by not admitting the truth of our need) we were truthful with one another? I suspect we would be healthier people because through the grace and support of others many would get whole. And I suspect many would be drawn to us because they see in us a transparent honesty, grace and the truth that brings healing.

And it is healing that we all need.