This is one church brand that no one can compete with

 

Churches spend an inordinate amount of energy to attract those who need Jesus to their ministry. This includes high-energy worship, attractive spaces, first-impression ministries, branding, swag, food, and seeking to differentiate one's ministry from others in the area. 

Nothing is wrong with these efforts except that they often miss the most important magnet any church could have. 

Ask yourself this question: What attracted people to Jesus? Think about that for a moment. Why did people want to be around Jesus? Why did they flock to hear Him? Or want to spend time with Him?

The answer is very simple: It was the way he loved people, accepted them, and demonstrated grace to them. He was the safest, most loving, grace-filled, merciful, and kind individual people had ever met. 

How many congregations have you experienced that have those qualities? When one finds that kind of community, it is a powerful magnet because it is a community that embraces a Jesus culture. No program, branding, swag, or first impressions ministry can compete with that kind of community.

Jesus is the brand. His culture is the brand. His love is the brand. All the ancillary stuff is nice, but what attracts people is the culture of Jesus.

Is it possible that in the absence of that kind of love, we try to find other ways to attract people to our ministry?

What would happen if we focused on helping people to look, live and love like Jesus? What if that was our strategy to attract people to our ministry? 

Not a program. Not a slogan. Not an initiative. Rather, a sustained, unchanging emphasis on developing people to look, live and love like Jesus: To love God with all our heart, soul, and mind and to love others as Jesus has loved us. 

I would come - and stay - and many others would as well. 

Let's not confuse our strategies for the ONE THING Jesus demonstrated and taught. They will know me by your love. That is the best attractional strategy any congregation could ever have. Bring the best you have. Be as friendly and welcoming as possible, but major in training people to look, live and love like Jesus. That is the greatest magnet. The rest is extra. Love is central. Jesus is the brand!

The sin of faux relationships in the church

 

faux

/fō/

Learn to pronounce

adjective

1. made in imitation; artificial.

   "a string of faux pearls"

   • not genuine; fake or false.

     "their faux concern for the well-being of the voters didn't fool many"

Congregations are supposed to be friendly, warm, kind, and welcoming spaces. In fact, if your church is indicative, it probably has a "first impressions" ministry to ensure that new folks are welcomed and feel at home. This is as it should be because it can be daunting to walk into a new space and feel genuinely at home.

The problem is that, in many cases, church relationships are not genuine. They are a lie. They are faux relationships that exist as long as you fit into the faux community that pretends it is a genuine community. It is a Potemkin village where it looks beautiful, but the beauty is a facade. 

Here are indicators that what you think is real is false and faux. If you leave a church for whatever reason, do people quit talking to you? Are the relationships over? It happens all the time because in leaving, you have violated the rules that we are together - a community. The truth is that in those situations, you were not a real community but a pseudo-community that exists as long as you are on the inside. Once on the outside, those relationships simply disappear. 

If you ask hard questions and irritate leaders or staff and they stop talking to you, you know that the relationships you thought you had were not genuine. They were false and faux. You have been effectively shunned and sent outside the camp, and you realize that what you thought was community was only community when you conformed to the group. 

The indicator of faux relationships is how quickly one can go from being on the inside to finding oneself on the outside. It is disorienting and crazymaking. How did you go from being a valued community member to a pariah in such a short time? And you ask yourself, was what I had real? And you conclude that it was not. All of a sudden, people don't talk to you, don't care for you, and you know that you have been put outside the "loving circle" of that congregation. In fact, you are no longer wanted!

Why does this matter? It matters because faux relationships are relationships of convenience - but they are not genuine relationships. They do not express the love that Jesus has for us and that we are to have for one another, which emanate deeply from the heart and persist in good and bad times, in times of agreement and disagreement. Real love is not easily destroyed or walked away from. Yet we do this in the church all the time. You are either on the inside or the outside!

I know people who have abandoned church altogether after experiencing faux relationships. The realization that they were loved and appreciated only when they toed the party line was a bitter pill to swallow. They realize that they were not loved at all.

There is a pragmatism that drives faux relationships. We won't find and retain new people if we are not a welcoming church. But we will not invest in those relationships because that takes time and effort. We want the community without the effort to actually build community. "Life Together," as Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes in his classic volume, is way too deep a commitment. So, in many churches, relationships look real but are not.

In an irony, Bonhoeffer says this about Christian community. "The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community." Here lies the reason there are so many faux relationships in the church. We have a dream of a community. We have slogans for that dream. We idolize that dream, but we don't actually choose to love those around us, and our dream destroys the very concept of a real community.

I have experienced this phenomenon at times in my own church experience. It is painful, sad and disorienting. The good news is that it convinced me that what I had was fake and that what I wanted was genuine. But it was deeply painful nonetheless. I invested that period of my life in a dream of community rather than in a real community. I, for one, want the real thing.

Don't settle for faux relationships in the church. They are fake, won't stand the test of time, and don't reflect the real love Jesus calls us to have for one another. 

If you are a church leader, I don't care what your dream for community is. Remember the words of Bonhoeffer, "The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community." 

Church staff cultures: Who is responsible for ensuring that it is healthy?

 

In my many years of working with churches, I have encountered many situations where the culture of the staff is unhealthy. In many cases, these are good churches with vibrant ministries, and congregants would not necessarily know there are internal challenges. Although, inevitably, dishealth at the staff level does spill out into the congregation. It is usually only a matter of time.

Who is responsible for creating a healthy staff culture? That always falls to the senior leader who sets the tone. While they don't do this alone, they are the gatekeepers for ensuring it happens. While there are many facets to a healthy culture, I would argue that the following are critical: 

• The focus is always on Jesus and His mission for the church. It is always His agenda that matters, not ours.

• There is an intentional culture of candid conversation where any issue can be put on the table except for a personal attack or hidden agenda. In other words, there is the freedom to express one's views without fear of reprisal. This takes a leader who is non-defensive and open.

• There is clarity around the mission, the values, the direction, and each staff member's job. Without clarity, there cannot be alignment or desired results.

• There is an intentional disciple-making culture. That is the mandate for the church, but many churches don't have a plan. Without a disciple-making plan, it won't happen.

• All staff and members are treated with respect and kindness, and there is a marked absence of gossip or behaviors that don't fit a Jesus culture (think the fruit of the Spirit).

• A spirit of new ideas, innovation, and better ways of doing things is fostered.

• Staff are heavily empowered to carry out their work with great accountability. Empowerment and accountability go together. Senior leaders don't micromanage staff but empower them.

• Senior leader(s) serve their staff rather than believing that staff should serve them.

Where there are dysfunctional staff cultures, one or more of these elements is absent. In many staff cultures, there is not clarity, there is control rather than empowerment, staff are not treated with dignity and respect, alignment is not present, open dialogue is not allowed, and while there may be many good things happening ministry wise, they don't move people in a common direction of becoming disciples of Jesus. This is true of large and small congregations. 

Signs of an unhealthy staff culture include mistrust, keeping quiet, not being candid about what one sees, cliques, gossip, keeping your head down, and a low happiness factor. Add to that a significant amount of turnover as staff members get tired and worn down by the unhealthy culture. 

And so much of this comes back to a leader who is humble, put's the agenda of Christ above his/her own, is open, and has good Emotional Intelligence (EQ). I have never seen an unhealthy staff culture where there was not an unhealthy leader, nor a healthy culture without a healthy leader. I have never seen an exception to that rule. 

The core marks of a healthy leader are humility, a servant spirit, a desire to hear the opinions of others, the willingness to delegate authority and responsibility, the ability to clarify, treat everyone with respect, and a commitment to put the agenda of Christ first. 

Unfortunately, where the culture is unhealthy, it will inevitably impact the congregation as a whole because both health and dishealth spill over to the larger body.

So who is ultimately responsible for ensuring the health of staff? It is the board. The senior leader creates the culture, but a church board monitors that culture. Where there is a failure to create a healthy culture and a failure to monitor and deal with it, you have a major failure of leadership!

Churches that smell like Jesus have these seven characteristics

 "For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved." 2 Corinthians 2:15

In conversation after conversation, I encounter people who have become cynical about the church. I am not one of those because I understand that Jesus is the hope of the world, and He has chosen to work through His bride, the church. 

Having worked with many churches, I have seen almost everything but retain what I call an irrational love for the church.

However, I understand the frustration of many who read Scripture and then have a hard time finding love, grace, and acceptance in a local fellowship. My own view is that there are too few churches that smell like Jesus. What are the smells that churches have that don't reflect Jesus? I think of legalism, judgment, conflict, self-absorption, or maybe a country club. This is why congregational cultures that are focused on being like Jesus are so wonderful and powerful. In fact, they are irresistible.

Churches that smell like Jesus intentionally cultivate the following Jesus characteristics, attitudes, and practices.

Grace

Think of the way that Jesus interacted with people: The woman at the well; the woman caught in adultery; the rich young ruler; the blind man who wanted healing; the woman who poured expensive oil on Jesus' feet; Mary and Martha, and the list could go on. In all of these cases, what stands out is the amazing grace of Jesus. Grace with the hurting, the broken, the guilty, the searching, the sick, the wounded, the criminal, the outcast, the poor, the alien, and we could go on. 

Jesus gave grace where others didn't. Jesus gave grace where it was not deserved. Jesus didn't require people to meet their expectations before He extended grace. Jesus was safe. He was gracious, and He was non-judgmental even when He spoke truth - with the exception of the Pharisees, who were deeply hypocritical. This leads me to wonder what He would say to some evangelicals today. We, too, can be accidental Pharisees.

Truth

Jesus was about the truth of God. Truth is often a limited quantity in our world, and we need to understand the truth about God, ourselves, His character, the life he calls us to, and our own need for salvation and grace. In almost all cases, Jesus delivered truth with compassion, love, and understanding, but He always spoke truth. Truth without grace is not like Jesus. Grace without truth is not like Jesus. Grace and truth go together.

Love

Love for one another is the mark of disciples. In fact, "The entire law is summed up in a single command; 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Galatians 5:14). Love is one of the Fruits of the Spirit. It always speaks the best, wants the best, thinks the best, and treats one another as Jesus treats us - with patience and grace. One of the most toxic characteristics of any church is a lack of love: conflict; uncharitable language; gossip; backbiting; and poor attitudes. 

Having attended many congregational meetings, I tend to think this is where the true character of the congregation is displayed. In many cases, the Holy Spirit must be embarrassed. In my first congregational meeting in one church, I was a part of, the chairperson asked someone to call the police! Yet where love prevails in a congregation, it is powerful and infectious.

Generosity

God is a generous God who did not spare His own Son but sent Him to die for us. If you want your church to have the aroma of Christ, it will be generous with what it has. Many churches are generous toward themselves, investing heavily in their stuff. Fewer churches are generous toward the community, and other churches, meeting the real needs of those around them as well as being significantly involved in the world. Generosity is contagious within a congregation and to outsiders who see people who are open-handed.

Humility

I think this is one of the more difficult character traits of churches that want to reflect Christ. We can be very proud of who we are and the glory days we have experienced in our ministries and often believe that we somehow are better ministries or Christians than the congregation down the street. These are signs of pride rather than of humility. It is ironic that the one Being in the universe who has no need to be humble is the most humble: Our God. Philippians 2 calls us to the same humility as that of Jesus! Humble churches are not filled with their own importance but rather with God's importance. That is a key distinction.

One of the key signs of humility is a congregation's willingness to work with other churches in the community across denominational lines for the cause of the Gospel. Prideful churches won't do that, but kingdom-minded and humble churches do.

Engagement

God's kingdom and God's people are about action. We are called to a life and a mission that reflects the life and mission of Jesus. He had many hangers-on who liked to be around Him and be entertained but were not interested in truly following Him. The church does as well! 

But churches that look like Jesus are filled with people who are actively living out their faith: loving on one another, loving on the community, caring for the poor, the marginalized, and those without anyone to defend them. They care about racial reconciliation and justice as Jesus does. They address community needs in Gospel ways because engagement is to be like Jesus. 

Discipleship

There is no Jesus culture without Jesus followership. This is a followership that involves not only the hour of worship on Sunday but life throughout the week. It is a place where becoming like Jesus is the norm in all walks of life. It is highly practical in helping people follow God more closely and is a place where transparency, pain, and failure can be translated into lives where God uses all of our biographies to be used by Him. In discipleship, each of the prior characteristics is lived out in real-time and in real ways.

If you are in church leadership, it would be worth your time to evaluate how you, as a congregation, are living out these seven characteristics.

Churches that smell like Jesus have these seven characteristics

 

"For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved..." 2 Corinthians 2:15

In conversation after conversation, I encounter people who have become cynical about the church. I am not one of those because I understand that Jesus is the hope of the world, and He has chosen to work through His bride, the church. 

Having worked with many churches, I have seen almost everything but retain an irrational love for the church.

However, I understand the frustration of many who read Scripture and have difficulty finding love, grace, and acceptance in a local fellowship. My own view is that there are too few churches that smell like Jesus. What are the smells that churches have that don't reflect Jesus? Legalism, judgment, conflict, self-absorption, or maybe a country club. This is why congregational cultures focused on being like Jesus are so wonderful and powerful. In fact, they are irresistible.

Churches that smell like Jesus intentionally cultivate the following Jesus characteristics, attitudes, and practices.

Grace

Think of the way that Jesus interacted with people: The woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, the rich young ruler, the blind man who wanted healing; the woman who poured expensive oil on Jesus' feet; Mary and Martha, and the list could go on. In all of these cases, what stands out is the amazing grace of Jesus. Grace with the hurting, the broken, the guilty, the searching, the sick, the wounded, the criminal, the outcast, the poor, the alien, and we could go on. 

Jesus gave grace where others didn't. Jesus showed grace where it was not deserved. Jesus didn't require people to meet their expectations before He extended grace. Jesus was safe. He was gracious, and He was non-judgmental even when He spoke the truth - with the exception of the Pharisees, who were deeply hypocritical. This leads me to wonder what He would say to some evangelicals today. We, too, can be accidental Pharisees.

Truth

Jesus was about the truth of God. Truth is often a limited quantity in our world, and we need to understand the truth about God, ourselves, His character, the life he calls us to, and our own need for salvation and grace. In almost all cases, Jesus delivered truth with compassion, love, and understanding, but He always spoke truth. Truth without grace is not like Jesus. Grace without truth is not like Jesus. Grace and truth go together.

Love

Love for one another is the mark of disciples. In fact, "The entire law is summed up in a single command; 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Galatians 5:14). Love is one of the Fruits of the Spirit. It always speaks the best, wants the best, thinks the best, and treats one another as Jesus treats us - with patience and grace. One of the most toxic characteristics of any church is a lack of love: conflict, uncharitable language, gossip, backbiting, and poor attitudes. 

Having attended many congregational meetings, I tend to think this is where the true character of the congregation is displayed. In many cases, the Holy Spirit must be embarrassed. In my first congregational meeting in one church, I was a part of, the chairperson asked someone to call the police! Yet, where love prevails in a congregation, it is powerful and infectious.

Generosity

God is a generous God who did not spare His own Son but sent Him to die for us. If you want your church to have the aroma of Christ, it will be generous with what it has. Many churches are generous toward themselves, investing heavily in their stuff. Fewer churches are generous toward the community, and other churches meet the real needs of those around them and are significantly involved in the world. Generosity is contagious within a congregation and to outsiders who see open-handed people.

Humility

This is one of the more challenging character traits of churches that want to reflect Christ. We can be very proud of who we are and the glory days we have experienced in our ministries and often believe that we are better ministries or Christians than the congregation down the street. These are signs of pride rather than of humility. Ironically, the most humble Being in the universe who has no need to be humble is Our God. Philippians 2 calls us to the same humility as that of Jesus! Humble churches are not filled with their own importance but rather with God's importance. That is a crucial distinction.

One of the critical signs of humility is a congregation's willingness to work with other churches in the community across denominational lines for the cause of the Gospel. Prideful churches won't do that, but kingdom-minded and humble churches do.

Engagement

God's kingdom and God's people are about action. We are called to a life and a mission that reflects the life and mission of Jesus. He had many hangers-on who liked to be around Him and be entertained but were not interested in genuinely following Him. The church does as well! 

But churches that look like Jesus are filled with people actively living out their faith: loving on one another, loving on the community, caring for the poor, the marginalized, and those without anyone to defend them. They care about racial reconciliation and justice as Jesus does. They address community needs in Gospel ways because engagement is to be like Jesus. 

Discipleship

There is only Jesus culture with Jesus followership. This followership involves the hour of worship on Sunday and life throughout the week. It is where becoming like Jesus is the norm in all walks of life. It is highly practical in helping people follow God more closely and is a place where transparency, pain, and failure can be translated into lives where God uses all of our biographies to be used by Him. In discipleship, each prior characteristic is lived out in real time and real ways.

If you are in church leadership, it would be worth your time to evaluate how you, as a congregation, are living out these seven characteristics.

Every church needs a big dream

We talk much of needing clarity in any organization. I write and teach and help organizations find that clarity. But one of the pieces of clarity is a dream - a big dream that captivates, inspires and in some way changes the world for the better. There is something deep within the human heart that desires to make a difference. Give people that opportunity and they will run with you. Too many of our plans and dreams are small and uninspiring. Every organization needs a big dream.

Every church needs a big dream. Something rooted in the Gospel that changes lives and communities and regions of the world. One church I am aware of trained evangelists and pastors in rural India but discovered that their mode of transportation - bikes was terrible. They dreamed of building a bike that would be tough, strong, and navigate bad roads well. Challenging their congregation resulted in $300,000 raised in one day and thousands of bikes are now traversing India for the sake of Jesus. Oh, and they started a company to build the bikes through a 501.C3.

Where there is no dream, there is little incentive for people to invest their lives, finances and energy for something that has eternal value. Too often the local church leaves the big dream to other organizations. The dream to change a child's life fuels Compassion International. The dream to provide clean water fuels part of World Vision's funding efforts, raising massive amounts of money through marathons. These are big and meaningful dreams that change lives.

Why should the church not be at the center of big dreams? Where that dream exists there is a vibrancy and opportunity to see the Gospel change lives and communities. Does your congregation have a large compelling dream to bring people together for the sake of being the love and truth of Jesus. 

The local church has massive potential to impact lives, local communities and society but it takes a dream, a vision to see something important happen. To bring people together around the gospel. When that happens we put aside our petty conflicts and politics to focus on Jesus issues and dreams that Jesus inspires.

The society of the Bent and Broken

We live in a broken world. Some of us know it better than others. In many churches there is a Celebrate Recovery ministry which ministers to those who know they are broken. Ironically, many others in the church are also broken but they hide behind a facade of "respectability" - pretending and posturing to prove all is well. 

Those who are broken but choose to hide that brokenness not only don't get better but they live double lives, torn between who they want to be and who they know they are. Unfortunately, the very place that was designed to be the place of transparency and healing is most often a place of hiding and judgement. In many churches grace is very hard to find - if you are broken. 

Without grace, there cannot be healing. Without transparency and the safety of sharing ones brokenness there is no healing. We are great in the evangelical world of shaming the broken which is a defensive mechanism to keep people looking at others rather than looking at ourselves. Why is there Celebrate Recovery? Partly because it is a safe place to admit brokenness. Most of the church is not safe and many are hiding those places where they are bent out of fear of what people will think. And say. And judge. And shame. And shun.

The pharisees were like many in the church. Yes, there are many pharisees in the church. They objected to Jesus spending time with prostitutes, tax collectors and the general riffraff of his day. Why did he spend his time there? Because these people knew and admitted their brokenness. Leaving Jesus to say that he came for the sick, not the healthy. Of course, the pharisees of that day or this are not healthy either but are good at pretending. And when a woman poured expensive perfume on his feet and someone objected at the waste of money, Jesus looked at him and said those who have received much grace appreciate that grace. Those who don't think they need it don't appreciate.

There are churches here and there that break the mold: places of safety, transparency and healing. Having worked with many churches, however, I believe them to be a small minority. I no longer expect churches to play the role of healing. Rather, those who know their brokenness and have found healing reach out with amazing grace and come alongside those who need love, help and grace. 

Read the Gospels and see how Jesus interacted with sinners. Ironically the only people he was judgmental of were those who refused to admit their brokenness. Again the pharisees. 

Marks of a gracious church

Church culture can be harsh as many of us have experienced. It can also be very loving and gracious, where it is intentionally fostered as what God desires for His family. Healthy churches reflect the character and graciousness of Jesus, while unhealthy churches reflect characteristics of our lower natures, such as legalism, infighting, unforgiveness, power plays and harsh judgments of others, and personal agendas. 

The character and spiritual commitments of the leaders of a church will largely determine whether the culture is healthy or unhealthy. Here are some of the marks of a gracious church that reflects the character of Jesus.

Grace abounds
Just like some individuals exude grace and acceptance, so do gracious churches. One feels accepted and loved no matter who you are or what your circumstance. There is no sense of judgment or criticism for those who come. It is a safe place to be who you are and to share your journey. There is no pretense, just grace. You feel at home!

Relationships are healthy
Gracious churches put a premium on healthy relationships. Space is given for differences, conflict is quickly resolved, words are healing rather than hurtful, disagreements are agreeable rather than conflictual, and forgiveness is fast and regular. There is not a culture of gossip but one of acceptance and love. In gracious churches, we seek to see people as Jesus sees them and love them as Jesus loves them.

Jesus is always lifted high
The secret of gracious churches is that their model is always Jesus. When we pursue our own agendas, we create conflict, but when we pursue the character and presence of Jesus, we get peace and grace. When Jesus is central, our own agendas are put aside, while when we are central, Jesus is put aside. Gracious churches keep Jesus central all the time.

The Gospel is central to everything
We often forget that the Gospel is Good News. Gracious churches major on the Gospel: forgiveness, redemption, healing, transformation, and regeneration. The Gospel is the hope that we have to see our lives become like Jesus, and gracious churches communicate that all the time. 

Hope is communicated all the time
What did Jesus bring, and what does the Gospel promise? Hope for the hurting; hope that we can change and become like Jesus; hope for our futures; hope for relational discord; hope for my own sin and dysfunctions. The Gospel is all about hope because it is about the transforming power of Jesus and the Holy Spirit's work in our lives. The world brings fear, while the Gospel brings hope.

Truth and grace are inseparable
It is amazing how harsh truth can be communicated compared to the way that Jesus shared the truth with amazing grace. The truth about our human condition is not always nice to hear, and there are sharp differences between the followership of Jesus and the pull of our lower nature but gracious churches, like Jesus, communicate truth with grace. The gospel calls us to a life with Jesus and radical life change, but it does so with love and grace. Think of how gracious Jesus is with our sins and issues. Gracious churches woo people toward God and allow the Holy Spirit to do its work as we encourage people in their spiritual pilgrimage.

Spiritual transformation is the goal
None of this is possible without the goal of helping people become more like Jesus, and that is what gracious churches do. They help people discover and live in grace, think like Jesus, align their life priorities with His and see people and love people as Jesus sees them and loves them. In fact, it is this emphasis on transformation that makes a church gracious because people start to look and act like Jesus. He is the magnet of a gracious church as His people reflect Him. And that makes it a wonderful family to be a part of.

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