Growing health and effectiveness

A blog centered around The Addington Method, leadership, culture, organizational clarity, faith issues, teams, Emotional Intelligence, personal growth, dysfunctional and healthy leaders, boards and governance, church boards, organizational and congregational cultures, staff alignment, intentional results and missions.

Monday, August 3, 2015

I cannot stay in this job because...


There are reasons that people leave jobs. It is often not for higher pay but for a better supervisor or organizational culture that is getting in the way of their current role. Often, when leaving a dysfunctional work environment it is not apparent until we have been out a while that we realize how bad it was. And how glad we are gone.

Here are some of the reasons that people cannot stay in their job.

One: There is no clarity as to what we are about, what we are going after and how we are going to get there. For those who want to invest their lives, this is a huge problem - and should be. Without clarity we all work in our own silos and none of us know how to best contribute to the whole. We don't know if we are going somewhere or nowhere. It is deeply frustrating and when one asks, there seem to be no answers.

Two: I have skills, gifting and training but I am micromanaged and cannot use any of my own creativity. What I feel inside is that my boss does not trust me enough to leave me alone. What I want is the big picture and then I will make things happen in my arena. However, with micromanagement and control I feel like a servant rather than a colleague. I really think I am better than that. 

Three: My opinion does not count. In fact, I am not even asked for my candid assessment of decisions or direction. When I try to give it I am rebuffed and if I disagree I am called disloyal when all I really want is the very best for the organization. I don't know who my leader talks to but it is not me and there is no venue for candid discussion.

Four: My leader has really bad EQ and it spills over on his staff - including me. He is defensive, insecure, needs to have his own way, does not like feedback unless it agrees with him, is manipulative, can be dismissive of others, does not resolve conflict and frankly lives in his/her own fantasy world that all is well. What is true is that the emperor has no clothes on this one and everyone around them knows that to be true except them. His problematic behaviors demean and diminish others and it is highly unpleasant. People on the outside do not see what we see but we see it all the time.

Five: I want a healthy leader and a healthy organizational culture. This does not cut it. I love the ministry and its people but to work here has become a non-starter. I am looking but I cannot tell my boss because he/she will become threatened and will probably undermine my efforts. To leave is to be disloyal.

There does come a tipping point when the leader and culture is unhealthy and when it does, people bail. Years ago I heard of a consultant to told the CEO of a Christian ministry all of us would recognize that his senior people were on the bubble for the kinds of reasons I have shared. He got angry and said "No one ever leaves this ministry." Over the next five years almost all of his senior leaders left. All it took was the first to go for others to realize that there was life beyond their organization.

We either lead well and create a healthy culture or we will have staff saying, "I cannot stay in this job because..."

TJ Addington (Addington Consulting) has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

"Creating cultures of organizational excellence."


Sunday, August 2, 2015

Three marks of faithful friends




Having faithful friends matters. All of us will have superficial friendships, but we also need deep faithful friends. They may be family or others, but you know they are always in your corner. As I think about what characterizes faithful friends, I think of these three qualities.


First, they are trustworthy and always have your best interests in mind and we theirs. They can be trusted with confidential information, they have a deep and abiding love and you can always trust their motives. There is no pretense in their friendship and it is not based on anything we can give (although all friendships are mutual, one to the other). In other words we can be the real us with them and they with us.

Second, they (and we) can be counted on in good times and bad. We need faithful friends at all times of life but we really need them when the chips are down. Faithful friends go the distance and go out of their way when times are hard. Most move away from those who are in the hard times. Faithful friends move toward those who are in the hard times.

Third, faithful friends will tell one another the truth, even when it hurts. Who else will do that? Our enemies for sure but they have no redemptive motive in mind. Faithful friends do not let other friends go in the ditch if they can help it! They address issues they see in a loving and kind manner but they challenge one another to better living and better followership of Jesus.

Do you have such friends? Are you such a friend to others?

TJ Addington (Addington Consulting) has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

"Creating cultures of organizational excellence."

Friday, July 31, 2015

Three reasons to be reconciled with those we have had conflict with in the church




There is no way around conflict in the local church. In fact, it is only the presence of the Holy Spirit that keeps churches from devouring themselves. Coming from all kinds of backgrounds, with our own dysfunctions and issues, it is the Cross of Jesus that gives us a common bond - which we would not otherwise have. And it is the common Holy Spirit that unites us as members of the family of God. 


So why should we be reconciled to one another when there is conflict in the church? We may violently disagree with one another, we may hold grudges against each other. And it is very easy to pick up the offences of others and carry them ourselves. And those we disagree with don't deserve our favor or forgiveness unless they "repent" and choose to agree with us. So why should we be reconciled to each other?

Let me suggest the following reasons to consider. I don't do this lightly as I have been at odds with others in the local church. In fact, I need to do this with great humility. I have had to forgive and be forgiven too many times so this is not a treatise from strength but one from having to face myself too many times. And one from having faced truths from Scripture that I have had to grapple with.

First: We forgive because Jesus chose to forgive us. Ephesians 4:32 says it this way: "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." No matter how much animus I have, I cannot get around the fact that Jesus chose to forgive me and therefore commanded me to forgive others. 

Such forgiveness is not predicated on the confession of others (and in conflict we are often all guilty in come way). Nor is it predicated on having hashed through all the issues (it is often not possible). What it is predicated on is that Jesus forgave us when we did not deserve it and by implication we are to forgive others even if they do not deserve it (in our view).

I fully believe that Christ will hold us accountable for every unresolved relationship we choose to live with when we see Him. What do we say to the one who bore our sin and failure on Himself and chose to forgive us against the fact we chose not to forgive others? The truth is that we will have no answer in the face of his amazing and unmerited forgiveness of us. How can we not forgive others when we have been the recipient of so much grace?

Second: In church conflict we often do not know the full story. There are always two sides and we often are privy on only one. We need to remember that we only know what we know and frankly we usually don't know the whole story. 

Third: Forgiveness and reconciliation do not mean that we need to be best friends with those who we extend it to. It does not mean that we agree with the course of action that was taken. Nor that we must stay in the church. 

It does mean that whether we choose to stay after conflict or leave that we do either with a happy heart and a clear conscience based on reconciled relationships and the lack of unfinished business. Living with ongoing animus or anger is both unbiblical (do not let the sun go down on your wrath) and it is a prison of our own making that we live with and that separates us from others. What reconciliation and forgiveness does mean is that we are willing to live at peace with those we had a disagreement with.

TJ Addington (Addington Consulting) has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

"Creating cultures of organizational excellence."



Wednesday, July 29, 2015

A lesson we all need to learn: Godly people can disagree from Quintin Stieff

Quintin Stieff

TJ Addington (Addington Consulting) has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

"Creating cultures of organizational excellence."

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Here is a scary scenario when it comes to prayer....




If the prayer lives of people were modeled after the prayer example of a typical worship service, it would be a fairly prayerless existence. Many congregations have lost the art of leading people to the throne of God in a meaningful way. 


Certainly, prayer can become a ritual like any other. Yet, how we pray and what we pray for in a worship service should model what we are taught to pray about in Scripture. It is rare, for instance, that I am in a worship service that has prayers of confession or lifts up the amazing attributes of God, or even uses Scripture to guide one's prayer. The exception to this would be high church services where prayer and Scripture are always central to the worship experience. 

While I am not advocating either a high or low church experience, it is interesting to me how many evangelicals are gravitating toward a more liturgical style of worship and wonder if it is because of the emphasis on prayer and the Word throughout the service. 

When prayer becomes an afterthought in our services, we do a disservice to our people and to the Lord we are worshiping. Not only should prayer be central in our services, but what we pray for should model something to those we are leading to the throne. 

As you think about your services, I would simply say this: If people modeled their own prayer lives after what they experienced in their church on Sunday, would it be rich or poor? For better or worse, what we model in worship sends a message to our people. It is something to think about.


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Sunday, July 26, 2015

The part that humility plays in the effectiveness of ministry teams - from Gary Warkentin

Humility and Team Effectiveness

Gary Warkentin from Effective Ministry Teams

TJ Addington (Addington Consulting) has a passion to help individuals and organizations maximize their impact and go to the next level of effectiveness. He can be reached at tjaddington@gmail.com.

"Creating cultures of organizational excellence."

Friday, July 24, 2015

A conversation between the Navigators and T.J. Addington regarding Deep Influence

Thursday, July 23, 2015

In it for the Long Haul: The pastor's job is to find success when it's invisible from Leadership Journal

In It for the Long Haul

Forget metrics. The pastor's job is to find success when it's invisible.