Disciplines, Habits and Lifestyle

The concept of "discipline" in our lives evokes various responses but for many it is not an overwhelmingly positive concept. I prefer the concept of "disciplined practices" of those activities that will lead to  the kind of lifestyle that I believe Jesus will be happy with. We either live accidentally or intentionally and there is no intentionality without a set of disciplined practices.

The value of well thought out disciplined practices is that over time they become habits. Habits can be our ally in living a Christ centered life. King David had the disciplined practice of praying in the morning and the evening. It became a habit and you see it reflected in numerous Psalms. His disciplined practice of memorizing God's word became a habit which is also reflected in the Psalms. These habits that lead to a God honoring life start with a decision to a certain discipline and rhythm in our lives which practiced long enough become instinctual.

Many Christ followers wonder why they don't make more traction in their Christian life. Often, it is because they have not considered the intentionality of healthy practices that become habits and which in turn become our lifestyle. Doing something often enough - good or bad- actually rewires the connections in our brain to make the practice habitual. It is our brains way of operating in a lean fashion. It can work for us or against us. In unhealthy addictions it works against us. In developing healthy practices - which takes intentional effort on our part - it works for us.

In his writings, the Apostle Paul talks about old habits and practices that need to be discarded and new habits and practices that need to be put on. With the help of the Holy Spirit and our own discipline we can indeed do that. But it does not happen by itself - it happens when we focus on disciplined practices long enough that they become habitual and which in turn inbed those healthy practices into our lifestyle. 

Think about the habits of your life. Which of them are contributing to your followership of Jesus and which of them are distracting or even undermining that followership. Then ask the question: What disciplined practices would change the equation of they became habits and then became part of your lifestyle?

Accountability for missionaries - rethinking the paradigm

It is time to rethink how we hold missionaries our churches support accountable and how we collect that information. What usually happens today is that every church has their own forms that need to be filled out annually creating significant extra and unnecessary work for mission personnel. 

I recently had a senior ReachGlobal leader mention that he was working on an eight page evaluation from one of the churches that supports him. Now consider doing the same for the other nine major supporting churches and you get an idea of what it looks like to satisfy the needs of multiple churches.

Many of the accountability paradigms for missionaries grew up in a day when they worked relatively alone and had little direct supervision from their mission organization. Today for most organizations it looks very different. All personnel, for instance in ReachGlobal operate with annual Key Result Areas, an Annual Ministry Plan that is connected to the team that they work with. In addition, they have a monthly mentoring/coaching meeting with their supervisor and an annual review.

In ReachGobal, for instance, there is actually a higher level of both empowerment and accountability than is found in staffs of many churches. A best practice for mission committees is to find out what the reporting structure is for the mission their missionaries work for and coordinate the information they ask for with what the mission requires so that there are not unnecessary redundancies in reporting that a staff member needs to do.

If mission committees asked for three things – the job description, the annual plan and what was accomplished on that plan they would have a great deal of information. And, it would cut down on the duplication of systems that missionaries must satisfy for multiple churches that support them.

The additional complication with generic forms to be filled out is that it does not take into account the actual job of individual missionaries. The three pieces of information above are what we use to evaluate a staff member so if a church asked for the same three pieces of information it would have more relevant information than they often get without requiring their missionary to do extra and unnecessary work.

Operate without a church board covenant at your risk!

I have recently been reminded by several conversations how important it is to have a board covenant that spells out how board members relate to one another and work together. It takes only one board member to cause significant chaos in a church and on a board when acceptable behaviors are violated.

Verbal agreements about board behaviors are not enough. They can be forgotten and disputed. Written covenants that are agreed to and signed by board members clearly delineate what is expected of those who are serving as leaders. It is hard for other board members to ignore behaviors that are clearly defined, in written form, and signed by all involved.  

Here is an example of such a covenant from my book High Impact Church Boards.

Knowing that we, as leaders of this congregation, must model godly relationships before one another and the church, we commit ourselves to:

• Pray daily for fellow members of the leadership team and for the ministry of the church
• Never speak ill of any member of the team
• Resolve broken relationships personally and quickly
• Forgive one another when offended and hold no grudges
• Always support the decisions of this board once they are made unless a biblical, moral issue is at stake
• Care for one another when a member is hurting
• Always be honest in board deliberations and never devious in seeking personal agendas
• Never betray the confidence of the board
• Hold one another accountable for this covenant and agree to step off the board if there is a regular violation of these agreements.

The most crucial piece of the board covenant is the last one. When there is a violation of acceptable practices, the rest of the board will hold the one(s) who have violated the covenant accountable for their behavior. 

Why? Unhealthy boards compromise the health of the church! Board behavior is the model for congregational behavior. Boards that don't hold one another accountable for agreed-upon behaviors cannot hold others responsible for their behaviors. And it takes only one unaccountable board member to poison the board and cause chaos in a congregation. There are numerous stories of congregational pain and conflict when a board member violates acceptable practices, compounded when the rest of the board does not hold them accountable.

Too often, we ignore board covenants, assuming that everyone will behave. Some don't. Too often, we ignore violations as not a big deal: They are! Overseers are told to protect the flock: it starts with themselves. Ignore board covenants and problematic behavior to your own peril.

The courage to say what we really think

One of the significant marks of a good leader and healthy individual is the ability to tell others what they really think in an honest but respectful way. Too often, in the desire to make others feel good we are not completely honest with our views which causes confusion at best and a sense that we were dishonest or manipulative at worst.

Not being fully honest with our views is a form of cowardice driven by our desire to be liked and not to offend. However, the end result of a lack of clarity especially by leaders is the perception by their staff that they were not honest with them - true - and attributed often to bad motives - often not true. Either way it is a route to misunderstanding and lack of clarity.

Most of us do not want to offend others - a good thing. The route to that goal is not to withhold our opinions or convictions but to state them respectfully, allowing others to hold a different view without judgement or losing relationship. What kind of world would we have if everyone agreed on everything anyway? The best solutions are found in the conflict of ideas, not in everybody agreeing with one another.

This skill is called "self differentiation." The ability to differentiate our views from others without being obnoxious. Both of those skills are necessary for healthy relationships.

It is a skill because it is not natural for everyone to learn the art of self differentiation graciously. However, unless we do we cannot be who we really are - a characteristic of personal health. Doing so with graciousness toward others is a necessary skill of keeping relationships healthy while being able to disagree. Both personal health and relational health are at stake with this skill.

The both/and of Missions: Gospel and Compassion

In the early 1900’s there was a major clash in the American church between the liberals who emphasized good works at the expense of the Gospel and the evangelicals who insisted that good works by themselves would not help people find Christ and experience His grace. In simple terms, what followed was a divide. The liberals jettisoned the Gospel for a religion of good works while evangelicals, in an over response often jettisoned good works for a sole emphasis on the Gospel.

What the liberals lost was the life changing message of Jesus while emphasizing Jesus concern for people. What the evangelicals lost was the concern for people’s needs with a sole concern for their eternal destinies. What both lost was the both/and of the life of Jesus who was always concerned about their situations but never addressed their life issues without also addressing the core issue of the heart.

The example of Jesus in the Gospels ought to be our guide: He cared deeply for people and their situations. That is why people followed him. That is why He healed them. That is why he talked to them non-judgmentally about their sin. But He never left it at that. He always talked to them about their hearts.

In fact, if you look at church history it was Christians and missionaries who founded hospitals, schools, took care of the sick, buried the dead in the plagues, and were known for their good works. My own background was that of a Missionary Kid of a doctor who founded a hospital that took care of the sick regardless of their ability to pay – and also shared the Gospel with each patient – connected with a strategy of church planting in Hong Kong.

There are innumerable stories of evangelism efforts, literature distribution or other ministries done in the name of Jesus that have almost no lasting impact because while people made professions of faith, there was no church left behind for them to be nurtured and to grow. When you separate missions from church planting, you no longer have missions in a Biblical sense but simply compassion ministries. That is why Paul always focused on church planting while always encouraging believers to be the hands, feet, compassion and love of Jesus.

One of the guiding principles of ReachGlobal is that we are holistic in our approach. We want to care for the whole person and are deeply involved in ministries of compassion, education, medicine, caring for those who come out of sex trafficking, AIDS orphans and many other ministries that minister to the whole person as did Jesus. But front and center and at our core we are about multiplying transformational churches. We must leave behind the Bride of Christ to make disciples. The church must reclaim the concern of Jesus for the whole person but must not lose the centrality of multiplying His church in the process.

Redefining outreach in the church

Outreach programs are normal for local churches. In fact, they are so normal that they often have the effect of training our people that outreach is a program when in fact, Jesus meant it to be the lifestyle of every believer.

If outreach is a program, I am free to leave outreach efforts to the church and allow it to be their responsibility. If outreach is the responsibility of every Christ follower through incarnational living and intentional development of relationships with unbelievers then I must take responsibility. 

But here is something to think about. We get what we teach and model in the church. If we model programming as the means of outreach, that is what we will get. If we teach and model that reaching our workplaces, neighborhoods and friends is each of our responsibilities, that is what we will get. Which is more powerful? Which will reach more people?

I am all for church wide opportunities for people to bring their friends in venues that are favorable to them hearing the gospel. But, that presupposes that there are unbelieving friends to bring and that we have enough capital with them to even be able to invite them.

The real challenge in evangelicalism is to convince every believer that they, not a program of the church, are responsible for developing meaningful relationships with unbelievers that can result in opportunities to share God's love, being the example of Jesus to them and speaking candidly about one's relationship with Christ. Until that happens, we will never have the impact in our world and community that the early church did and that Jesus desires us to have.

How do we do that? First we model it ourselves. Second we tell stories of others who model it. Third, we set an expectation that every Christ follower has an intentional strategy to share the love of Jesus with those they have relationships and contact with. Fourth, we pray together for those divine appointments that God can use and finally we celebrate whenever a breakthrough comes and another individual becomes a son or daughter of the king.

God loves when people seek him so He will answer the prayers of people and congregations who ask Him for these divine opportunities. I had several last week. I thank Him for every one. And I long for the day when we all expect it to happen as He allows us to be His representatives.

Go with a program and you will reach a few. Go with everyone and you will reach more than you can ever imagine.

Programming that drives out real ministry

A short worthwhile conversation about the church, programming and God's intentions for His people.

http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/08/02/how-churches-fake-gods-work/