Three distinct ways to plan your life and one that actually works

 

It is always interesting to ask people how they actually live their lives. Most of us assume that we live by our stated priorities, but when I ask individuals how they translate what they say is important to them into their weekly and monthly schedule, I am often met with silence or a request for suggestions.

There are three primary ways that people plan their lives.

The first strategy is to live by your options.

All of us have an unlimited number of options available to us. I might say no to someone asking me out for an evening dinner but yes to a more attractive option. When I asked a friend recently about his strategy for planning his week, he said, "I don't have one." When I asked how he made decisions about what he did outside of work, he said, "It depends on the options." In other words, on any given day, the best option wins the prize for how he spends his time.

The problem with living by your options is that it does not consider what is essential to you and does not necessarily contribute to a well-lived life. It is a common strategy but not one designed to help you accomplish what you want to achieve in life. On the upside, it takes little planning or effort.

The second strategy is to live by the expectations of others.

This strategy is a trap that many fall into, especially those who are prone to please others. Everyone has some sort of agenda for our lives: Family, friends, employer, colleagues, church....you name them. These are things that others think should be important to us. They are not things we feel are important to us, but we have a hard time saying no and living our lives by the rules of others rather than our values. 

This strategy is obviously not planned. It is reacting. Further, it usually causes an underlying frustration, if not anger, when we realize we do not control our destiny. One of the most liberating skills is the ability to say no and feel good about it. Not to be contrary but to ensure that we live according to what we believe to be most important. To live by the expectations of others is to give others the ability to determine what is essential for us to do - an abdication of our own responsibility.

The third strategy is to live by a planned calendar based on what we believe our priorities are.

There are two caveats here. The first is that we have done the hard work to determine the priorities of our lives. There is no well-lived life that has not first determined what is important and what one wants to accomplish. 

This is because all priorities take time, and time is the most precious commodity we have as individuals. Money comes and goes, but time only goes, and you cannot get it back. Every obligation we choose or agree to has a time check attached. Just as we write financial checks, we also write time checks. They are ultimately more important than how we spend our money because they determine what we accomplish in life. 

There is a second caveat. You must connect your priorities to your calendar in a proactive way to live them out. If your priorities are the compass for your life, your calendar is the clock. Unless the compass is connected to the clock, those things you value will not have the attention you desire. Thus, your priorities go on your monthly calendar before anything else. This is the only way to plan your life that ultimately works (if you believe in your values and priorities). What one does not reserve time for usually does not get done.

If you look at your calendar today, does it reflect what is truly important to you? Are those essential things actually on the calendar?

Taking greater charge and responsibility for our lives

Most of us would be far happier and more productive if we decided to take greater charge and responsibility for our lives. 

Why is this? Because to the extent that we do not take charge of our lives - others will! They will fill our lives with obligations, commitments and "opportunities" that can suck the life out of us leaving us drained and unsatisfied.

I believe this is a major reason for low levels of life satisfaction and even depression. And the irony is that we often do it to ourselves. The greater charge we take of our lives - saying yes to the right things and no to the wrong things, the happier we become. 

Those who don't take charge of their lives are usually people who don't have a clearly defined purpose for their lives. If they did, they would steward their lives with greater passion and purpose and not allow others or circumstances to dictate their priorities and time commitments. 

The most successful people you encounter are individuals who steward their lives with great care. They know that every commitment they make has direct implications for other commitments they should or could be making. They know their purpose and act accordingly.

Taking charge of our lives takes place when we

• Are clear about our purpose in life
• Are passionate about making a difference in line with our purpose
• Are willing to say no to obligations and commitments that would take us away from our purpose
• No longer need to please people over living out our purpose
• Fill our schedules first with those things that allow us to make a difference
• Have margin to think, evaluate, get appropriate rest and spend time with friends and family
• Fill our lives with activities that fill us rather than deplete us

Taking charge of our lives has a rich payoff including a happier and more productive life.

Three questions to consider regarding what you do today

We are creatures of habit. Habits can be very helpful but they can also be counterproductive when we don't think through why we do what we do. I ask myself three questions regularly.

The first is "What do I need to do today?" Usually that it determined by what is on my calendar and to do list as this allows me to live out my priorities. In fact, if we are even asking the question of what we should do today it means that we didn't plan very well in our yesterdays. We should always know what we are up to long before we wake. But many don't!

The second question is just as important. "In what order should I do it?" Generally the right answer is that we should do the hardest thing first - the things we would put off if we could and may indeed already have done so. Whatever we are tempted to procrastinate on should get our first attention and then we can go on to do those things that give us life.

The third question is an interesting one: "Why am I doing it?" There are some things that we do by habit and never ask if we or someone else should be doing it, or for that matter, if we should be doing it at all! The things we do are not all equal and some things no one would notice if we just stopped doing them. 

We are all busy so being smart with our time is time well spent.

Posted from San Diego

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Using the hand we have been dealt for God's glory.

How often do we wish that life were different! 

We complain about what we don't have, sometimes wish we were like others, or see the glass half empty rather than half full. But here is the thing! Jesus has given us what we have and what He asks of us is that we use the hand we have been dealt, regardless of the hand, for his glory.

Right now the cards my wife has in her hand are not very exciting. She suffers from a great deal of joint pain, has a hard time standing and walking because of pain in her feet and is rarely pain free. We are praying for healing and following all the medical paths we can but ultimately God wants her to use the hand God has given her for His glory. He knows the limitations. He also knows that her perseverance is an example to others. And while she is less active physically by necessity, she is more active in prayer for others.

I think of my dear friend Phil who has brain cancer that is terminal unless the Great Physician touches his brain and heals the cancer. What does God ask of Phil? To use the cards in the hand he has been dealt for the glory of God. He does not complain, lives in trust, continues to work and lives with expectancy. He gets it!

All of us have things we wish were different. But here is where our theology needs to trump the things we wish were different. God is fully aware of our situation, he is sovereign over all things in our lives, His Spirit intercedes for us in areas where we struggle (Romans 8), and He does work all things for His own good (Romans 8:28). I don't say that lightly because what is for His ultimate good does not keep us from those things that cause us pain in a fallen world. Rather He is able to redeem all of our situations and use them for His glory.

There are days when all of us with that life were different. What we need to do on those days is ask, "What has God placed in my hand that I can use for Him today?" That takes the focus off of what we wish were different and places it in a totally new perspective. It is no longer about me but about Him and we realized that it is not about the deficits of life (from our perspective) but those things He has given us that we can use on His behalf. It can change our day.

Posted from San Diego

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

Releasing our shame and stepping into God's destiny for us

I recently received an email from a dear friend who had been asked to speak at an event and was struggling with doubt that they were qualified to be on stage, talking about the subject. It is not that they are a poor speaker or don't know the subject. It was inner doubt about whether they were truly worthy to address the audience. They verbalized to me (asking for prayer) what many of us struggle with: we do not feel worthy to represent Jesus. We don't feel worthy because we live with various versions of shame. Shame for what we have done, shame that we will never be good enough, shame that we are not worthy. Shame that we will never be good enough.

That shame sometimes comes from our family of origin where we were given the message that we will never amount to anything. It can come from sin in our past that we believe disqualifies us from being used by God. It can also be the whisper of Satan telling us that we are unworthy. And in case you doubt he would say this, remember that he is called the father of lies and that he comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) while Jesus comes to bring life and life abundant. Satan specializes in shame while Jesus specializes in freedom from shame though his death on our behalf. Satan floods us with shame while Jesus releases us from shame. Satan says you are not worthy. Jesus says, you are fully worthy because of me.

Here is the truth. None of us are worthy in ourselves to represent Jesus but Jesus has made us fully worthy through His son Jesus. But if he has made us worthy he has also made us "fully worthy." He has released us from all sin and shame and inadequacy for He is our adequacy. We literally walk and live in His divine AMEN on our lives. His face is turned toward us and His smile is upon us. There is no shame in His presence for those who have been redeemed and forgiven. There is only freedom and joy and blessing.

Each of us struggle with some version of shame. Jesus wants to release all of that. Satan says you have no destiny. Jesus says you have an amazing destiny. The former is a lie while the latter - through Jesus - is absolute truth. Satan wants us to hold back fearful of our destiny. Jesus wants us to fully step in the destiny He handcrafted for us (Ephesians 2:10). 

Don't let shame hold you back. Release it to Jesus and step fully into your destiny. It is His destiny for you.
(written from Hua Hin, Thailand)

All of T.J. Addington's books including his latest, Deep Influence,  are available from the author for the lowest prices and a $2.00 per book discount on orders of ten or more.

The most important decision of the year

Each of us has made innumerable decisions in the past year. The most important decision we will make, however, may still be in front of us. 

It is this: What are the three to five truly important things that I need to focus on in the coming year?

Those who make the greatest impact do so not because they necessarily work harder than others. Rather, they are more focused than others. They live intentional rather than accidental lives and they answer the important questions like the one above.

Understanding what our focus for the next year needs to be is like having a personal compass that keeps us pointed in the right direction. Likewise our calendars are like a clock. When we connect the compass (our priorities) to the clock (our calendar) we have a roadmap for the coming 12 months.

Don't go into the new year without knowing where you need to go and having a plan to get there. These are not New Year resolutions but rather intentional decisions that help us maximize the time God has given us.

My 29 year old son has an app on his phone that counts down the days, hours and minutes until he reaches 70. It is a constant reminder that we don't have unlimited time and that we need to use it wisely. In light of that, the most important decision you make this year may still be ahead of you.

Ten reasons we don't fulfill our God given destiny

My observation is that there are many believers and even many Christian leaders who do not fulfill their God given destiny (Ephesians 2:10). This is not because they don't sense it's presence. They feel the call but for various reasons they don't respond.

One: We don't have the faith

This was the case with the ten spies who went into the promised land for Moses and then declared that the people were too strong to conquer and caused the people to roam for forty years in the desert because of their lack of faith in God. When God calls us, it requires faith to respond.

Two: We don't have the courage

Responding to God's call requires courage. We must take the first step: He will not do it for us. This was Abraham when he chose to follow God into an unknown destiny when God called him.

Three: We don't want to take the risk

Following His call can be risky. We don't know the outcome - we only have the call. This was Nehemiah who risked it all to respond to the prompting God had given him regarding Jerusalem. He was willing to risk his life and reputation for that assignment.

Four: We fear failure

This is a natural fear and it is why the command to "fear not" is the most repeated command in all of Scripture. We have much to fear but we have a God who is larger than any circumstance we could face.

Five: We don't believe God can really use us

This is Moses when he was eighty and God was calling him to lead the people out of Egypt. Here is the irony. When Moses was forty he thought he was something and God could not use him. When Moses was eighty he thought he was nothing and God could then use him.

Six: We don't believe we are qualified

Again, consider Moses who had all kinds of excuses for why he was not qualified for his assignment. Let's face it. None of us really are. That is why we need the empowerment of the Holy Spirit and the presence of Christ on a moment by moment basis. God makes us qualified!

Seven: We don't understand the role of the Holy Spirit

Romans 7: There is nothing that can separate us from the love or presence of God. We are indwelt by God. Jesus said we would do even greater things than He did when the Holy Spirit came. Every Christ follower has Jesus living in them through the Holy Spirit! 

Eight: We don't understand our part in God's meta story

Life is not a random series of events. Every one of us who knows Christ steps into His story with a divine reason to be there (Ephesians 2:10). We don't know how the threads of God's tapestry connects but one day we will. Today we see the messy back side but in heaven we will see the beautiful front side.

Nine: We are caught by the expectations of others

When my father told people he was going to Hong Kong as a missionary many years ago, some prominent individuals told him that he was throwing his life away. How often others have a plan for our lives when God does as well. Who we choose to listen to makes all the difference in the world.

Ten: We are too comfortable

What if Abraham had said to God, "Look, I Googled the place you are sending me and it doesn't look too promising?" I think that is often the case. We weight the odds and think, "Hey, I am comfortable, why rock the boat."

Why follow God when He calls? It is the most exhilarating and amazing experience we could have. And what gives us the confidence to step into our destiny? It is as David said to Saul before he went up against Goliath. I have met the bear and the lion and God gave them into my hand. He based his faith on what God had done in the past and we can as well.

Living an integrated life and saying no to compartmentalization

One of the greatest challenges in life is to live an integrated life where our values, practices, spiritual commitments and convictions are the same in all realms of life. Often this is not the case and it is why many Christ followers seemingly follow one set of rules in the marketplace and another in the church and can excuse behaviors or practices at work that they know do not please God.

Stephen Green, in his book Good Values: Choosing a Better Life in Business puts it succinctly. 

“Compartmentalization -– dividing up life into different realms with different ends and subject to different rules –- is a besetting sin of human beings.

"Compartmentalization is a refuge from ambiguity; it enables us to simplify the rules by which we live in our different realms of life, and so avoid – if we are not careful – the moral and spiritual questions. One of the most obvious and commonplace manifestations of the tendency to compartmentalize is seeing our work life as being a neutral realm in which questions of value (other than shareholder value) or of rightness (other than what is lawful) or of wisdom (other than what is practical) need not arise. 

"But there are many other ways in which we compartmentalize our lives. Work, family, friends, society – these are different (though often partially overlapping) realms of life, and it is all too easy, in a thousand ways, to play to different rules in each of them. 

"These different realms of being also overlap with the inner realm of the self (though none of them completely): by what star does that inner self navigate? And would it even know when it is off course? Compartmentalization helps to shut such questions out"

Compartmentalization creates a divided self because it allows inconsistency within our own lives. A divided self is not a whole or healthy self for it is by definition at odds with itself. That dissonance creates issues of conscience in the short run and a dimmed conscience in the long run. Eventually the dissonance becomes normal and we are no longer sensitive to what is truly right and what is truly wrong.

It is easy to spot compartmentalization in the lives of others. It is harder to spot it in our own and is one of the reasons we need to surround ourselves with others who can and will challenge us to follow Jesus in all areas of life.

Compartmentalization is responsible for giving Jesus a bad name as those who watch us see that our espoused values are not lived out in our lives. One of the best things we can do is to identify a set of values that we believe reflect Jesus well and live them out in every sphere of life. No compartmentalization, no dissonance, just wholeness! 

How much can you bite off?

Visionary leaders love to get stuff done. A lot of it. And it you look at vision plans they often look way too big. It looks great but it is not realistic. It might be realistic over a period of years but not in any single year.

Here is a general rule of thumb. No individual or organization can pay attention to more than three to five truly strategic things at any one time. In fact, the fewer "big rocks" you tackle at a time the better off you are - in terms of doing those big rocks well.

Leaders, teams and organizations that choose a few initiatives at a time and do them well get far more done over time than those who in their optimism bite off a whole bunch of initiatives but are left with not being able to pull them off well - if at all. In the end, "less is more."

What matters the most is having clarity around mission, guiding principles, central ministry focus and the culture you are creating and then running a few key initiatives each year to move you closer to those goals. A consistent direction over time combined with a few well chosen ministry initiatives that move you closer to your end goal is a very powerful combination.

These are the kinds of organizations described by Jim Collins in his two books, Good to Great and Built to Last. Classics if you have not read them! And, in my book, Leading From the Sandbox.

Organization wide, our mission with 550 staff members does not drive more than two to three key initiatives each year. I would rather do one or two and drive them through the fabric of ReachGlobal than to try more than that and not have them as part of our DNA. Seen over a period of ten years, those carefully chosen initiatives will produce very powerful results.

That philosophy requires three things from leaders. One, being clear on where we are going long term. Two, choosing the right initiatives to focus on in any one year. And three, great patience (the hard part), knowing that the process will bring huge change and ministry results - intentionally - but over time.

If you eat too much food at a meal you get a stomach ache. If ministries bite off too much they are ineffective - exchanging long term health for unrealized short term gain.

So:
Are you clear on where your ministry is going long term?
Are you choosing with great care the initiatives you are running?
Can you be patient for strong long term results?

Resisting diversions in our lives and ministries

Diversions. Distractions. Deviations. Detours. All of these are temptations to boards, leaders, teams and individuals. It is the temptation to divert our attention from the main thing to ancillary and less important things. It is easy to be distracted from what is most important. It takes great discipline to focus on the main things God has called us to and keep our focus there.

Take the local church. The Main Thing is introducing people to Christ and helping them grow into spiritual maturity - the front and back side of the great commission. It is more believers and better believers.

If you are on a church board or staff, make a mental guess as to how much time in your board meetings are focused on accomplishing the Main Thing and how much time on other things? Or in staff meetings? Or in your particular ministry. It is easy to stay wrapped up in budgets, staffing and programming, all important but to the detriment of the Main Thing? Which is why many congregations keep many people busy with very little spiritual results.

My experience in working with church boards is that unless there is significant resolve on the part of board leadership, the board will gravitate toward all kinds of time churning issues that have little or nothing to do with the Main Thing.

I think about my own life. God has given me four Main Things for me. It takes huge discipline to stay focused on the Main Things and minimize distractions from other nice but non Main Things - for me. Scattered attention is easy, focused living is hard.

In his letters to Timothy, Paul repeatedly encouraged Timothy not to be distracted or to waste his time on ancillary issues, fruitless debates or even people who were prone to spend their time in empty discussions. He urged Timothy to focus on the Main Thing for him - preaching and teaching the word and ensuring that his life was lived with faithfulness and integrity.

Every day, people, circumstances and the very organizations we serve can distract us from the Main Thing. Our challenge is to keep steering our lives, our teams, our boards and our organizations back toward the Main Thing so that the Main Thing is not distracted by ancillary things.

Can you define the Main Things for your life? Those key things God has called you to? Can you do the same for your church or your current ministry? If you can, how are you doing? If you cannot, are you willing to take the time to ask and answer the question?

The Main Thing is to keep the Main Thing the Main Thing. And that is the hardest thing!

Key Result Areas and Annual Ministry Plans

It is so simple, so basic but it makes all the difference in the world in terms of what your team or staff accomplish. Simply put, every member of your team ought to know two things: What their goals are (and what you will hold them accountable for) and what their plan for accomplishing those goals is.

The goals are KRAs or Key Result Areas. The plans are AMPs or Annual Ministry Plans.

Knowing the goal and having a plan gives clarity to both team members and supervisors. It moves people from ambiguous ministry activity to clear ministry results. The clarity also makes evaluation objective. Either the staff member has worked the plan or they have not. It does not have to be perfect, it is about intentionality and results.

Interestingly, KRAs and AMPs are also a protection for staff members against supervisors who micromanage or frequently change their minds about what they want. Once the goals and plan is approved, they are free to work it and supervisors are not free to change it.

This very simple concept is a game changer for ministry staff. If you are not practicing it, you really need to! It will help you move from activity to results and from ambiguity to clarity.

In my experience, one reason ministry staff do not use KRAs and AMPs is that their leaders don't want the same accountability. Because it starts at the top.

What our calendars say about us

Whether we are an organizational leader or team member there is a very telling tool about our priorities and what is really important to us. It is not what we say. It is not what we communicate to our teams or one another. It is not the mission or priorities of our organization.

It is our calendar.

Nancy Ortberg in her book, Unleashing the Power of Rubber bands: Lessons in non-linear Leadership writes something that is all too true: "There is often an enormous disconnect between the vision of an organization and the events that make up the daily calendar pages of the organization's leaders."

Don't get me wrong. There is always great activity on a calendar. But the focus of that activity for too many does not match up with the vision or mission of the organization or the stated priorities of leaders (or team members). All of us can easily fall into the trap of mistaking activity for the results we say we are committed to.

I have only five priorities - Key Result Areas (KRA's). The are:

1. Personal development


2. Strategic leadership


3. Strong team


4. Leadership development


5. Mobilizing resources

Those are the big rocks of my work. Given those priorities, the proof of whether those are in reality my priorities is whether my calendar reflects those priorities. Do the majority of my appointments, obligations, and time allocations reflect those five areas, or does my calendar actually reflect a scattered and accidental approach to my work. The calendar tells the story!

If you are committed to a life of intentionality I would challenge you to identify the big rocks of your work and then compare the obligations of your calendar with your priorities. Do they line up? Are you intentional in scheduling your priorities? Can you say no to those things that distract from what you are called to do? Are you willing for your colleagues to see your calendar? Would they say it reflects your big rocks?

Our calendars tell the story of our true priorities. And they are a powerful tool in ensuring that we achieve those priorities when we allocate our limited resource of time according to those things that we know are most important.

I don't have time

Are you ever caught in the trap where you don't have time to do what you need to do? What someone else wants you to do? Something you feel obligated to do? How does it make you feel?

Here is a truth to consider: We all have time to do what is most important to us and we all have time to do what God has called us to do. If we run out of time, it may be that we have things in our schedule that are not really important for us, or we have taken on responsibilities that God did not intend for us to take on! They may be important for someone but not for us.

Those times in my life where I have been harried and hassled are also times when I have not been careful about what I said yes or no too, and times when I had taken on new responsibility without letting go of old responsibility - always a mistake.

When I feel like I don't have time it is really a symptom that I need to more carefully examine the responsibilities and obligations I have and determine where adjustments need to be made so that I have adequate and good time for those things that are most important.

And that in itself takes time, which is why a monthly personal retreat day is so important to me. It gives me time to prioritize, evaluate and find time for those things that are important. And jettison those things that are distractions that take away from what is actually important. It takes time to save time!

I have had periods when I was too busy. I am not impressed with busyness. In fact, I am far more impressed with those who are not too busy to find time for those things that are truly important in their lives - and still have margin. It tells me that they have wisdom. They have thought through their lives so that they have time for what the ought to have time for.

"Father God, help me (and us) to do that."

The Power of No

There is an interesting passage about Jesus in Mark 1:21-39. Jesus was in Capernaum where he healed Simon's mother-in-law, and "healed many who had various diseases. He also drove out many demons." Early the next morning Jesus went to a quiet place to pray. When Simon and his companions found Jesus, they told Him, "Everyone is looking for you!"

Jesus' response is surprising. Rather than doing what the disciples expected, and going to those looking for Him, He replied, "Let us go somewhere else - to the nearby villages - so I can preach there also." In other words, He said no to the need and expectations the disciples brought to Him because he had more important missional things He needed to do.

Jesus understood the power of "no" because He could distinguish between those things that were good and those things that were critical for His ministry. Jesus was self defining about what He needed to do rather than allowing others to define those things for him.

It should not be lost on us that Jesus said "no" to the disciples' expectation after He had spent time with His Father. Jesus was in the habit of regularly taking time to refresh His intimacy with the Father and to pray through those things He should be doing so that His priorities were in alignment with the priorities of the Father.

Most of us love to please others. It makes us feel good because in saying "yes" to others' requests they feel good about us and we feel good about ourselves. We get our cookies by pleasing others!

I once did a consultation with a senior pastor of a large church. I was there because his staff felt he did not pay enough attention to them and to building a strong team. When I probed the pastor about how he spent his time (activity), one of the things I learned was that he made all the hospital calls - in a large church! When I asked why he said, "Because it makes me feel good." At least he was honest. While his activity was 'good,' it was not focused on what his true big rocks were, which included building a strong staff team (results). His team was suffering because of his focus on the wrong activity - for him.

Yes and No are powerful words with powerful results. Saying "yes" to the right things allows us to focus our attention on those key areas that spell success for us. Saying "no" to the wrong things (nice activity that is not strategic for what God has called us to do) is equally powerful. Lots of good and nice activities seek to distract us from what is key for us. Wise people refuse to be sidetracked by the nice at the expense of the important.

Saying "no" is not easy. When I am asked to consider an opportunity, my usual answer is "I will think and pray about it and get back to you. Rarely do I agree on the spot. Often I will consult one of my trusted colleagues for a second opinion on whether the opportunity is one that is truly important. After thinking, praying and considering my schedule and priorities, I will accept or decline.

I am learning that saying "no" can be very powerful in accomplishing what God has called me to accomplish. Saying "no" allows me to say "yes" to the key missional things God has called me to do. I cannot say "yes" to those without saying "no" to other good things.

Accidental vs intentional living

All of us live somewhere on a continuum between accidental and intentional living. At the end of one year and the start of another it is worth considering where we fall on the continuum and where we desire to be.

Accidental living can be characterized by the following:

-Lives moment by moment
-Often harried
-Little advanced planning
-Does not distinguish between 'big rocks' and 'small rocks'
-Busy without well defined priorities
-Allows life to determine schedule

Intentional living can be characterized by the following:

-Lives within structure
-Seldom harried
-Significant advanced planning
-Distinguishes between critical and non-critical
-Schedule revolves around key priorities
-Mission drives schedule

Do you fall more on the accidental or the intentional side of the continuum? Are you pleased with where you are?

How intentionally we live our lives matters. From a personal perspective, the issue is whether we are using the gifts, time and opportunities Christ has given to us to the fullest advantage. We have one life to live and it goes fast. On the other side of 50, I am on the down slope of opportunity, time-wise, but have greater opportunity to influence others given my stage of life and the lessons I have learned.

I meet few individuals who want to squander their lives, yet the way they go about life does not match their desires. Lack of careful thinking about priorities and schedules, allowing others to determine them, and not living in light of the gifts and opportunities God has given us equal accidental living.

In John 15, Jesus makes it clear that fruit matters to God. The fruit of our lives is directly related to the gifting God has given us and the "work that he prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10). Seeing the reality of this fruit is directly related to how intentionally we live our lives in light of our God-given gifting and priorities.

Healthy leaders and teams are made up of people who refuse to settle for accidental living, out-of-control schedules, unfocused activity or the expectations of others. Rather, they are deeply thoughtful about what God has called them to accomplish, focusing strategic activity on the big rocks of their lives, all of which come out a deep sense of God's call and our stewardship of that call.

The difference between urgent and strategic

I live with a sense of urgency that the Gospel becomes well known in a world that desperately needs a Savior. Anyone who does not does not understand the eternal implications of an eternity without Christ.

That urgency, however, should never cause us to short circuit our effectiveness by failing to do the hard work of being strategic in our ministries. Many ministry staff are tempted for the sake of urgency to move fast rather than to  plan for lasting and healthy ministry results. Moving fast to meet needs often causes us to cut corners and allow urgent action to overshadow long term results.

This is certainly true in missions where it is easy to see a need, jump in and take quick action without the hard work of understanding the context, developing local relationships and working toward developing church planting movements that are indigenous, self supporting, reproducing, healthy and interdependent. Urgent action rarely gets one to long term effectiveness.

It can be hard in ministry to be patient in developing strategies for long term results. And many do not. The temptation to do something often gets in the way of thinking through how we are proceeding and the unintended consequences of our strategy. Acting impulsively often yields short term gains at the expense of long term effectiveness. It also can create significant chaos and instability for staff involved. 

Whatever ministry you are involved in, think long term and strategic. Allow the urgency to fuel strategic thinking and Spirit dependence. But don't allow the urgent to short circuit long term and lasting results.

Personal clarity for 2013

December is a great month to think through the past year and to plan for the next year in our personal lives. God designed our lives with a rhythm on purpose. Each new day turns a new page, each month is a new chapter and each year a new volume. Volume 57 starts for me on January 1 and I want it to count. As the number grows so do the stakes as time cannot be reclaimed. 

Don't move on to 2013 before evaluating and celebrating 2012. Consider these questions:

• What were the significant events of 2012 and how did they change me?
• Where did I see significant growth in my  life this past year?
• How did God prove Himself to be faithful to me?
• Is there anything I need to confess and put behind me?
• Are there any relationships that need reconciliation?

Since each year is a new volume and offers new opportunities, these are the kinds of questions I ask each December:

• What are the key areas of personal growth I need to focus on this coming year?
• How will I stay fresh in my spiritual life, marriage, family and professional life in the coming year? 
• I feel God nudging me in specific areas of my life. How will I respond to those nudges?
• What are the three to five big rocks that I must accomplish in my work life?
• What is my plan to stay on track?

Whatever volume you are on 25 or 75, don't waste it. Take the time to think and reflect before the new year starts.

An audience of One

Have you ever thought about how much time and energy we expend in trying to live up to the expectations of others? Authenticity means that we no longer need to work to prove something but that we can simply be who God made us to be and our highest goal is not to please people but to please an audience of One – our Father. Again, that is freedom!

With humility comes a nothing to prove, nothing to lose view of life which leads to authentic living. Authentic living is about being who God created us to be and not a pretend us or someone else’s version for us whether they be our parents, our in laws, or others. The question is no longer what I have to do to please other people but what I need to do to please God.

I remember the pressure I felt as a young pastor to be whatever a pastor is supposed to be. I put expectations on myself and others put expectations on me and pretty soon it was hard to be me. I worried too much about what people would or did think. I took certain peoples criticisms too deeply. I felt like a failure too often. I had something to prove and a lot to lose which is not a fun way to live life.

My main question today is what do I need to do to please the Father. Not only will I not please everyone else but that is not the call on my life – or yours. Pleasing the Father is. His priorities for my life, time, energies and heart are what count. He is the One we will give account to one day. No one else’s opinions will matter on that day.

Two deadly distractions

There are two distractions that each of us face in our lives - and which all church leaders fight against with those they lead. They are the distractions of the numerous options that we have for our time and attention which often keep us from intentional and Christ centered living and the distraction of selfishness which keeps our focus on me instead of Him.

I love the options that our world affords us. Options that just a few years ago were not readily available. Those options, however, are both a blessing and a curse. They are a blessing if carefully chosen but a curse if carelessly lived.

I am often reminded of Ephesians 2:10, that "We were created in Christ Jesus for good works which he prepared in advance for us to do." Each of us has a mission in life designed by God. That mission is connected with the gifting and wiring He gave to us and He wants us to use them on His behalf. This is our highest priority.

The options for how we spend out time often crowd out the very ministry that Christ created us for. Accidental living and busyness are the killers of intentionality and focus. Options are great - as long as I keep my focus first on what it is that Jesus has for me to do on His behalf. I love the options I have in this life but if our love for Jesus is primary we keep Him central, His work central and are not distracted from our central focus by all the ways we can spend out time and energy.

The second distraction is even more difficult than the first. Is life about me or about Him? The selfish natures of our hearts keep pulling us back to thinking that life is about me. It impacts my interests, my energy, my activities, my money and my priorities. Going back to Ephesians 2:10, we are reminded that life is not about us but about God.

Getting this right is a game changer in our lives. It changes everything and impacts our philosophy of life, the way we structure our lives, the world view we embrace and the daily activities we pursue.

In fact, conversion is all about recognizing that life is not about me but about God. It is not simply a ticket to eternal life but a revolution in our perspective on everything.

Each of us fights these two diversions. Our personal challenge is to get these right. Our ministry leadership challenge is to help others get it right as well.

When God gives us a full cup to hold

Full cups of anything are hard to hold, my steaming cup of coffee in the morning for instance, without spilling. Many of us hold full cups of something which are trusts from God. It may be a full cup of success, or of responsibility, or of money, it could be a full cup of suffering, or of significant gifting, or maybe wisdom or even vision. Whatever it is, we know the cup is full and others know the cup is full and we must decide how we are going to handle that full cup.

Full cups are made to be held with a steady hand. 

A steady hand comes from a quiet settled confidence that what we hold is from the hand of God and we hold it on His behalf. It is not for us to be proud as it did not come from us. It is not ours to be used indiscriminately as we hold it in trust. 

Steady hands understand the source of what they hold in their cup and the one they hold it for. 

What do you hold in your cup and how well are you holding it?