Monitoring our joy quotient: It is a choice

Is your glass half full or half empty?

Take a moment and think about all the issues you are dealing with today. Think about those things that wake you up at night. Consider the "heavy" things that you are dealing with.

It is easy to live with heavy hearts and burdened souls. But it is not how God wants us to live. Consider Paul's closing comments in his first letter to the Thessalonians:

Be joyful always

Pray continually;

Give thanks in all circumstances,

For this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus

The first three statements are deeply interconnected. How can one be joyful always? Only when we are living in continual communion with Christ (pray continually) because when we do we realize that we are not only not alone but the issues we face can be given to the Lord of the Universe. Joy and prayer are inseparable. The more connected we are the more joy we experience. Not because our situations would necessarily merit that joy but because we are connected to the source of joy.

The third command is also key: give thanks in all circumstances. We face real issues: but we are recipients of amazing grace in Jesus as well as His daily grace that shows up in our lives all the time. When you live with thanks - and every one of us who knows Christ has an unlimited list of grace to thank Him for, we cannot easily live with downcast hearts and souls. Thanks puts our situation in perspective.

Paul's final words here are also interesting - "for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." It is God's will that we live joyfully, connected and always thankful. That is a daily "game changer."

What is your joy quotient today?

Keeping our eyes open and not ignoring ministry threats

One of my hero's Winston Churchill once wrote, "Our difficulties and our dangers will not be removed by closing our eyes to them."

How true that is. And how often we try to close our eyes to them and not deal with them with the realism that we should - and they don't go away.

I spoke recently to a senior pastor who has a staff member that is causing all kinds of mayhem in the church because of poor EQ (Emotional Intelligence). They have actually lost several families. When I asked him what he was learning in leadership these days he said, "Not to avoid the issues that I know are there." He admitted that he didn't like dealing with tough issues but said he and his board had been negligent in not dealing with this staff member.

We usually know in our heart of hearts - our gut - what the difficulties and dangers are. It can be a staff member who is undermining ministry. It could be a staff member whose poor EQ is hurting people in the church but leaders won't deal with it. It could be a ministry strategy that we know isn't working but we don't want to face the reality and pull the plug. It is often a board that is divided and cannot get its act together but no one wants to tackle the elephant in the room! It could be a rogue board member who is talking out of school or politicking outside the board room.

In Winston's day, especially prior to the Second World War, there were many in the British government who closed their eyes to what was really happening in Europe and to Hitler's true intentions. Winston did not and it was his clarion call to action that finally galvanized the British nation to stand up to the problem the world faced.

Are you bold enough to name and stand up to the difficulties or dangers in your ministry context? The truth is they won't go away and the longer they are left unattended, the more costly the pay day is.

Spiritual warfare: The story behind the story

The Bible talks much about spiritual battles that take place behind the scenes as part of the divine drama being played out between Satan and his forces and the Father and His forces. In the book of Daniel, we find this man of God praying desperately for his people, storming heavens gates with his prayers and petitions.

In Daniel chapter ten, Daniel is praying, fasting, and mourning for the plight of his people who are in captivity – their world had come undone in a very big way. One day he was standing on the banks of the Tigris River (present day Iraq) in Babylon and he had a vision of a man “dressed in linen with a belt of the finest gold around his waist. His body was like chrysolite, his face like lightning, his eyes like flaming torches, his arms and legs like the gleam of burnished bronze, and his voice like the sound of a multitude” (Daniel 10:5-6).

Then this heavenly messenger told Daniel why he had not come sooner. “Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before you God, your words were heard and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia. Now I have come to explain to you what will happen to your people in the future, for the vision concerns a time yet to come” (Daniel 10:12-14).

Even as Daniel had been storming the gates of heaven, God had been at work behind the scenes but there was a literal struggle between God’s emissary and Satan’s forces in the unseen world to prevent God’s messenger from getting to Daniel. The story behind the story is that there is an unseen world where spiritual forces of good and evil are battling it out and we are the characters in the drama that they are fighting over: Satan to steal, kill and destroy and the Good Shepherd to bring life to the full (John 10:10).

As Paul reminds us “Finally be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:10-12).

Here is why prayer is so central, so important and so crucial when life comes undone. Here is the heart of the matter. We have an adversary who delights in hurting us, sidelining us, taking us out of the game, discouraging us, and destroying us. He is the thief of John 10:10, the one called Satan who stole the wonderful creation God intended and the fellowship He wanted with us. At the same time, God has heavenly forces at His disposal to help us, encourage us, protect us and help us overcome the adversary.

The key to this spiritual battle, this story behind the story, is to understand that life is not random but that we are part of the divine drama of redemption, God’s wonderful plan to redeem what has been made bad. Therefore Paul tells us “Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert (watchful for what Satan is up to) and always keep on praying for all the saints” (Ephesians 6:18).

When I lay in United Hospital battling for my life, the consistent theme of my most intimate prayer partners who came to St. Paul to pray for me was that this was not primarily about illness but about a spiritual battle being fought behind the scenes. The only way to fight a spiritual battle is through prayer. Thus the greatest gift we can give one another as Paul wrote above is to keep on praying for all of God’s people.

The evil one thinks he has won when bad things happen to us – when life comes undone. He is counting on the fact that we will respond with bitterness and forsake God: that we will blame God and turn our backs on him. But every time we respond with faith and trust, he is defeated. Every time we turn toward God in boldness and embrace His will Satan is proven to be the liar, thief and fake that he is.

When we, like Job continue to trust in the face of the destruction of the evil one he loses face, loses the battle and God is honored. When we say, like Jesus, not my will but yours be done he is utterly defeated. Every step of faith, every step of trust, every bold prayer is a defeat for Satan and his forces. And God’s people all around the world prove that Satan is defeated every day in their faithful walk with God in spite of their circumstances. Each of us is part of that divine drama that will one day defeat Satan and his forces for all eternity.

One day we will understand how our particular situation fit into the story behind the story and we will be amazed. And the wonderful thing to know is that Satan has already been defeated – God’s D Day was the cross. But the battle continues until Christ returns and reclaims creation with His people and a new heaven and a new earth. In the meantime, we become the champions of God’s power and grace as we trust Him in the face our own situations.

Leaders and those they lead: Social distance

Leaders have an interesting dilemma when it comes to their relationships with those they lead. Certainly, all healthy leaders want a deeply collegial relationship where there is a high degree of trust, collaboration and friendly relationships. However, a leader is not “one of the boys or girls” even though many leaders try to be that out of their need for popularity or affirmation.

Leaders who want to be the “best friend” of those they lead actually lose much of their leadership capital and it confuses roles. There is a difference between “best friends” and “leader.” The “best friend” role is based solely on relationship and common personal interests and no leader who leads an organization of any size can be best friends with all those they lead. Leadership is based on common agreement to a missional agenda, not that we are all best friends.

Leaders press into issues that are sometimes uncomfortable and need to say things that are defining and keep the team focused on the missional glue that holds them together. To the extent that I as a leader need to be “liked” by those I lead, I will avoid those conversations that would prevent me from being “one of the boys.” This is a reflection on the insecurity of a leader more than anything else – and many ministry leaders are deeply insecure.

Wise leaders actually have a sense of a certain “social distance” that they maintain with those they lead. There are situations where I am “one of the boys” but I am always the leader of those I lead. That is the role that my team needs me to play and wants me to play. They are less interested in whether I am their best friend than they are concerned that I am leading the organization in ways that allow us to accomplish the work God has called us to tackle together.

Leaders are neither simply “one of the boys or girls,” nor are they dictators. They develop highly collegial, missionally minded team where the strongest glue is the common ministry they are committed to. But they play the role they are called to play – that of leading the team and keeping the team focused. They do not allow their personal insecurities to cause them to default from leadership to merely friendship. The two are not one and the same!

Congregational diversity

There is a wonderful picture of worship in the book of Revelation that gives us a snapshot of what heaven will be like. "I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the lamb" (Revelation 7:9).

Many of us who have travelled internationally have tasted the joy of worshipping with those from other cultures and have experienced the common bond that we have in Christ.

But what about our own communities? Are we as passionate in worshipping with and welcoming the various ethnic and socio-economic groups who live in our own neighborhoods? And if you wonder who is actually in your community all you need to do is visit the nearest McDonald's or Wall Mart and one often realizes that there is greater diversity than we thought.

I am thankful that there are a growing number of congregations committed to ministering to all who are in their communities. They are intentionally embracing all whom God has put on their doorsteps and as the neighborhood changes, rather than leaving the neighborhood they are changing their ministries to minister to the changing demographics.

These congregations have embraced a deeply Biblical value: All people matter to God and in Jesus the barriers between peoples, races, ethnic groups and socio economic stratas can be torn down as He builds one people whose common bond is that they are followers of Christ.

This is not an easy process or the easy route for any church. When we start to diversify our ministries we must also start to share decision making, listen to viewpoints very different than ours and learn to appreciate worship different than what we are used to. It takes great humility to embrace people who are different than us and to honor their culture and perspectives.

And, the evil one will attack! He is not interested in unity. He is not interested in the supernatural power of God to bring people together and he will do all he can to sow seeds of misunderstanding, doubt and division. Congregations that embrace "all people" find themselves on the front lines of spiritual warfare and need a robust plan for protection!

I love to worship at the international church in Beijing where one worships with people from every continent in the world. How much better to worship with those God has placed in my own community - embracing the wonderful diversity of people and expression and having to grapple with what it means to be one people in Jesus Christ. A fortaste of that heavenly picture.

Change resistance in the church: It can be chronological age but it can also be related to how long one has been in the church

Pastors often assume that change resistance in a local congregation is a matter of chronological age: those who are older are more change resistant. This is not always true. Some of the most progressive change advocates are older - more a matter of outlook and wiring than it is age. 

There is another age to consider, however. It is the age of a church and how long one has attended. It is not unusual for younger adults who have grown up in a church to be the ones who resist change because it messes with the church they knew in Junior and senor high and their entire experience there.

Ironically in one church I attended, the two most change resistant folks to the point of all out warfare was a gal in her forties who had grown up in the church and her father in law who had helped start the church years before. In both cases the resistance came from individuals who didn't want anyone messing with "their" church but age had little or nothing to do with their positions. The age of the church did and their longevity in the church did.

In charting a change course it is critical to pay attention to the concerns and potential responses of even younger generations who have grown up in the congregation - especially those who have influence like the young lady above who was a power broker in the church. It is often how long someone has been in the congregation that make more difference than their chronological age.

Getting the facts before we make assumptions

I am constantly amazed and saddened at how often believers rupture relationships with other believers because they have made assumptions - often deeply faulty - about motives or actions. In the process, people are hurt, God's reputation is compromised, His mission is thwarted and ultimately the evil one wins which is just what he wants to do. If the evil one can sow seeds of doubt and destruction between fellow believers he will - and he does. How we respond to those seeds of doubt and relational destruction is our choice and it often has eternal consequences.

Before relationships are irretrievably disrupted there are some questions we need to ask.

One, do I have my facts right? How often do we hear something about someone else that is derogatory. Wise individuals know that second hand information is often faulty information. They also know that there are two or more sides to every story. Before we draw our own conclusions we ought to consider the real possibility that there is more to the situation than what we know and either hold our own counsel or if necessary verify the information we have received before drawing conclusions. 

In many cases we don't even rely on second hand information but our own assumptions regarding an action or situation and have never simply picked up the phone for a conversation with the one we are making assumptions about. Not only is it foolish to do so but it is deeply unfair to the one who is the target of our negative perceptions who may be and often is fully innocent of the assumptions we have made.

Two, is there another explanation for what I have heard, seen or observed? Over the years I have discovered that most of the time when I have chosen to draw negative conclusions about a person or situation I discover that my assumptions about motives or actions were not correct and that there was a reasonable explanation for what had taken place that made sense - when I asked. Each time I am stung by the realization of how quickly it is for us to jump to the wrong conclusion - perhaps the result of our own sinful nature and our tendency to see the worst in others rather than the best.

Three, have I talked with the individual myself to discover whether there is a way to resolve the issue at hand? It is amazing what honest conversation, dialogue and questions can resolve that otherwise would have been left on the scrapheap of severed relationships. It is often helpful to involve a neutral third party who can help those who have taken sides hear one another and to clarify issues, assumptions, actions and possible solutions. A simple conversation can quickly solve many badly made assumptions.

I recently heard of a situation where a group was talking about an individual who they seemed unanimously unhappy with. Not one of them, however, had made the effort to talk to the one they were talking about. Thus they were left with their own assumptions which may or may not have been correct but one conversation could have given them some good information.

Four, have I contributed in any way to the relationship that has gone south? Often, we choose not to resolve issues because it means that we ourselves must admit that we bear responsibility. It is far easier to save face and paint the picture that we have been aggrieved than to admit to ourselves and others that we also have been wrong. That takes Godly humility and honesty.

Paul makes it clear that there is a battle being fought out of our sight: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12). 

I am convinced that one of the foremost strategies of the evil one is to cause relational ruptures between His people in order to hurt Kingdom advancement. There may be times when such ruptures are unavoidable (we live in a fallen world) but I don't want to be an unwitting pawn in Satan's hands because I have not been shrewd about his tactics and asked the right questions.